Yak Facts Issue #7: Caution: Live Animals
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Yak Facts 29 January, 1999
Issue #7 Caution: Live Animals
************************************************************In This Week's Issue:
- Be Dope Turns One
- Lock and Load
- Happy Birthday
- This Week in Be Dope
- Call to Action
- Credits
Be Dope Turns One
Believe it or not - Be Dope has been cranking out words for exactly one year, today. In that time, a lot has changed in the BeOS, at Be, Inc. and in the computer industry at large. And Be Dope was happy to mock it all.
Someone recently said in an email comparing the Be corporate personality:
"...but Be is burning-man teasing pranksters, setting things on fire and doing things they're interested in, because they're interested and for no other reason."
I'm happy that Be Dope works to [embrace and] extend this personality to the Be community at large. I do Be Dope because I have fun doing it, and for no other reason. I enjoy shaking things up, rocking the boat, obfuscating the masses and making everyone's day just a bit more surreal.
In it's first year, Be Dope worked to establish a niche, build up a presence and make itself known. Amazingly, we have not been sued by anyone yet. In its second year I promise we'll really start digging in and and causing mayhem. And of course, we'll keep setting things on fire whenever possible.
What else will happen in Be Dope Year 2? Well, no doubt at least one site redesign, because I have such a short attention span. Plus I want to spotlight the Media Center a bit more because thanks to contributions from readers, it's grown to an impressive resource in a short amount of time. Once I get a decent machine (donations always welcome), I plan to maintain the site entirely on the BeOS, using Scot Hacker's Trackerbase as the backend. A decent backend combined with a javascript-enabled NetPositive will no doubt lead to lots of fun and random (and maybe even useful) dynamic site alterations. And if Pacific Bell ever figures out how to get DSL to my house, I might even start serving up Be Dope via the BeOS.
Thanks to all of you loyal Be Dope readers and BeOS users who have shown your support by coming back time after time and/or sending wonderful emails of support. I hope you've had as much fun as I've had this past year. Get ready for a bumpy ride in Year 2!
In honor of this historic event, we have some guest articles in this issue.
Enjoy!
Lock and Load
by Melanie Walker, BeGrrl at large [melanie@be.com]
A Be Family Moment; Lock and Load your own Reality
Working at Be is a like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride; once you accept that you can orchestrate peak experiences in your digital life, you begin to consider the possibilities in your analog life as well, and the temptation to test boundaries begins to outweigh the fear of failure, persecution, or the breaching of common sense and social custom.
Recently, we arranged to put a series of ads in local movie theaters to recruit digital talent. Our ads were to coincide with the opening of the new Star Trek movie, and they all had a Star trek theme, with slogans like, "Join the Rebellion", "Resistance is Not Futile" and an in-your-face-Chairman-Bill, "Lock and Load!". Our spirits were high, needless to say, as we anticipated the launch. As the big day approached, and Captain JL Gassée, just like his French Trekker counterpart, exercised his usual superior judgement and gave us Friday afternoon off to go see the opening of the advertisement campaign (and the Star Trek film.)
Now here in the valley of silicon dreams (not the Pamela Anderson Lee kind), money is often reputed to be no object. Bill, Steve, and Larry can buy their minions anything; the Cirque du Soleil, the B-52's, Great America. The conventional wisdom is that you must spend mucho denero to keep your people from defecting to the company on the other side of the highway who had an even better Christmas party last year than yours. But not at Be. When we have a company outing or gathering, we all get involved. Instead of buying community, we build it, homespun.
On the opening day of the ad campaign, we gathered in the parking lot an hour before the show. Someone had secured red and blue streamers and some BeOS posters. We decorated our cars in the Be parking and in a makeshift convoy headed south to Santa Clara, to the big movie theater across the street from Sun (because it's no fun to crow without an audience -- if only we were in Redmond!)
Despite the fact that it was 3:00 on a work day, the theater was packed with itinerant engineers from the environs, as well as a few schoolkids and their parents. We had arrived early enough to get fairly good seats, and we dispersed throughout the theater in groups of 5-10 people to achieve the illusion of mass.
We were all in high spirits as we dug into our popcorn and sodas (where did that beer come from?), when suddenly, large red and blue balloons appeared from nowhere and began bouncing around the movie theater. It is truly amazing to see people's reaction when the unexpected happens, whether it's balloons materializing out of nowhere or booting your OS in under 10 seconds. Someone had a Sharpie marker on them, and soon a balloon-based BeOS ad campaign was born and bouncing through the audience.
Then the slide show began. We huddled in anticipation as the slides clicked past; one for the community college, one for the Internet startup du jour, and finally, one of ours. We whooped! We hollered! We howled! The balloons continued to bounce around us. Non-Be movie-goers joined in, cheering for the little OS that could. The schoolkids were dazzled, their parents incredulous. Who ever heard of an operating system that had people cheering in the aisles?
It was almost disappointing when the movie began, the atmosphere we had created was so warm and boisterous, and we were reluctant to leave it behind. But balloons were respectfully put away, and we all sat quietly together in the darkness, eagerly anticipating the show to come.
Happy Birthday
by Scot Hacker, BeOS Prophet and Saint [shacker@birdhouse.org]
A year ago today, Be Dope had just been born, and was living at some obscure URL that no one could ever remember. Many of us enjoyed the first few chuckles (who could forget the grand story-telling days of "Primitive Volcanic Gods Choose BeOS Over Windows" or the respectfully disrespectful religious symbolism portended in "Tibetan Monks Replace Meditation Bells with SineClock 2.0"?). Of course, no one knew at the time that Be Dope would someday become the frighteningly powerful publishing empire that is today.
Be Dope has evolved into something none of us could have ever foreseen. Because its journalist/parodists always seems to know things the rest of us don't, we struggle at its feet, grasping for The Truth, never really knowing for sure whether the stories it runs are veiled hints at something actually brewing behind the scenes or the mere mouth-off fabrications of disgruntled cubicle dwellers. Where Be Dope gets its information is a mystery we may never solve. Perhaps they enjoy a connection to the inner workings of Be that will never be revealed; perhaps they just make stuff up out of thin air. The world may never know.
Nevertheless, the Be Dope strategy has paid off big-time. News sites like BeNews and BeOS Central now jump at Be Dope's every suggestion, never quite knowing how to couch the hints it presents. In effect, the official news organs of the Be community have become mere puppets to the Murdoch/Be Dope conspiracy, which ultimately controls all sources of BeOS news and information.
Happy birthday, Be Dope. We love you anyway.
On The Web
It's good to see BeOS-related sites doing well. The major news sites continue to tweak their sites, offering the ability to grab headlines via my.netscape, news tickers (will someone please write one for the BeOS? Thanks!), emailing of stories and the ability to comment on stories. Plus, lots of great content in the form of reviews and editorials. This is all great stuff, and helps everyone fit BeOS-related news into their busy lives. Plus, those wishing to learn about the BeOS have someplace to go outside of the Be, Inc. website. Keep up the great work everyone!
The Be Line has turned out a couple more excellent issues and I hope they keep it going and establish themselves as a successful BeOS ezine. If you haven't already, check them out at: http://www.thebeline.com/
Call to Action
In honor of Be Dope's first birthday, search through the archive, find your favorite story and email it to someone in an attempt to convince them it is really happening. Extra credit if you end up starting an Internet "urban legend".
This Week In Be Dope
Find out the connection between the BeOS, Transmeta, NUON, Legos and the BeBox II and see what part Be Dope played in the DOJ v. Microsoft trial.
Credits!
Editor, Writer, Carpenter: Mike Popovic
Copyeditor: None, obviously
Yak Facts is published more-or-less on a weekly basis. Well, not lately, but that's what we are shooting for.
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Some assembly required.
