TENCHI MUCHO!
From: "DaveCatt" <catthouse@lweb.net>
TENCHI MUCHO!
A Tenchi Muyo #Fanfiction
By Dave Menard
Started Feb. 28th, 2000, 2:42am EST.
Finished Feb. 28th, 200, 6:27am EST.
Tenchi Muyo and all associated characters is copyright Pioneer/AIC and distributed in anime form by ADV Films and in manga form by VIZ comics in North America.
This fic starts in the Tenchi TV Universe, and moves on from there...
Chapter One: Washu talkin' about, Willis?
It started, as so many adventures do, in Washu's laboratory. The diminutive scientist was hunched over her holo-laptop wearing an expression sentients the galaxy over (not to mention her housemates) had learned to dread.
Washu was bored.
An infrequent occurrence to be sure, since the Greatest Genius in the Universe was generally more than capable of amusing herself, and if that proved impossible, the antics of her guinea pigs, er, housemates were usually sufficient to prevent her from suffering from ennui.
Today, however, that was proving impossible. She had made the inadvertent error of sealing her lab off from the rest of the house after weathering one too many intrusions from Mihoshi, and had gotten lost in her latest project. The Planet-Smasher 4000 (tm) had functioned perfectly in both the simulations and in the real-time trials (no one was going to miss that tenth planet anyway; it had no inhabitants and it's gravitational effect on the Earth was negligible. And so what if the solar year was now 2.5 minutes longer?) but when Washu had emerged from her lab to bask in the praise of her admiring public, she discovered the Masaki home empty. A note stuck to the refrigerator with a Hello Kitty magnet explained it all...
"Washu-chan:
We waited and waited, but we had to leave without you. The free passes for the onsen had to be used by the end of the week. We'll be back by Sunday. Sasami saved dinner for you in the fridge, and there's plenty of food in the cupboards, help yourself. Sorry we missed you, Tenchi."
"Hmm... Well, now. Looks like I'm home alone..." Washu mused aloud. She checked the local calendar. It was Friday. Two days. Alone. No interruptions, no distractions, no one asking to use the computer to play "Quake"...
It was heaven! It was bliss! It...
It got old, real fast.
By eight a.m. Saturday, Washu had already exceeded her self-set quota of forty-two new inventions, at least three of which actually had a practical use. She'd mined her mind all she could, and now she was stymied.
Fortunately for the cosmos at large, by nine a.m. Washu had actually managed to find something to occupy herself with. She'd been absently scrolling through her files, searching for the perfect diversion. She found it in one of her "old project" files, under a triple-encrypted black-ice anti-Mihoshi seal.
"Well, well well, what do we have here? A-ha, the Dimensional Tuner..." A flurry of keystrokes opened the files, displaying the results across the laptop's holographic screen. Washu looked around. She _was_ alone, no Mihoshi or Ryoko or Ayeka around to mess with the settings... "I'll rebuild it! Finally, I can visit MY perfect world!!! Hahahahahah!" She stood, striking a triumphant pose. Her two robotic Washulings appeared on her shoulders with a fanfare of miniature trumpets.
"You're the greatest, Washu!" Washuling A encouraged.
"No one is as clever as you are, Washu!!" Washuling B seconded.
"They don't call me the Greatest Mad Scientist in the Universe for nothing!" Washu concurred, before rolling up her sleeves and beginning construction.
Sunday morning...
The crimson-haired genius wiped a bead of sweat from her brow and stepped back. The Washulings blared out another tinny fanfare to celebrate.
"Ha Ha!" Washu cackled, only slightly maniacally. "Finished at last! Soon, I visit Paradise!!!" With a flourish, she hit "enter" on the Tuner's keyboard and stood back as the golden lighting began to coruscate around the eye-like focusing orb, building up a charge.
At that moment, the Masaki family Land Rover pulled up outside of the house and disgorged her motley crew of passengers. Sasami leapt out happily, Ryo-Oh-Ki perched jauntily on her head like a bizarre hat. Mihoshi stumbled out the hatchback, dragging an exhausted Kiyone in her wake. Nobiyugi and Katsuhito clambered wearily out, followed by a harried looking Tenchi. Last but not least emerged Ryoko and Ayeka, continuing the verbal sparring that had begun as soon as they left the onsen and had continued non-stop for the last hundred kilometers.
"I'm telling you, princess, you'd better learn to keep your big butt off my side of the back seat!"
"My posterior is most certainly NOT big, you-you CRIMINAL! It's petite and well formed, as opposed to YOUR ever-expanding behind!"
"HEY! I've got a _great_ butt! Isn't that right, Tenchi?"
"Ah, er..." Tenchi blushed. "I think I should really stay out of this one..."
"A wise decision, Tenchi." Katsuhito confirmed. "Sometimes the only correct response is no response at all..."
"LORD Tenchi would certainly NEVER stoop so low as to ogle the behind of a woman, you shameless hussy!" Ayeka announced stridently, before dropping her tone to a conspiratorial stage whisper. "And if he WERE to be looking, he certainly wouldn't waste his time on your droopy hindquarters, anyway. Not when he has a ROYAL posterior to gaze at..."
"Ladies, please!" Nobiyugi said reasonably. "From what I can see, you both have very nice behinds..."
"Quiet, you!" barked Ryoko. "What makes you think Tenchi'd even look twice at a big ol' caboose like yours, little princess? It's plain to see that Tenchi only has eyes for me!"
"Is that so?! Well then, I think we should simply ask Lord Tenchi, then. Lord Tenchi?" Ayeka looked around. The boy in question had wisely made himself scarce. "Now look what you've done! Your foul mouth and shameless manners have frightened off Lord Tenchi!"
"Why you snobby little..."
And so it goes...
Inside the house, Sasami, Tenchi, Kiyone and Mihoshi were unpacking their things. Sasami noted with surprise that no dishes had been dirtied, and the meal she had set aside for Washu was still untouched.
"Oh dear... Can someone check to see if Washu's lab is still sealed? I don't think she's come out yet!"
"I'll do it, Sasami!" Mihoshi called cheerfully from the hallway. The blonde Galaxy Policewoman peered curiously through the porthole to Washu's subspace lab. The glass was blue, meaning the door was unlocked. "The door's open, Sasami! I'll just go in and let her know we're back..."
Inside the lab, Washu felt the strangest feeling of impending doom. (Not an unfamiliar sensation, but still...) Briefly, she checked the power readouts on the monitor. Everything was still charging smoothly. No technical malfunctions were visible. On a hunch, Washu checked the time. Instantly, her hair stood on end. It was Sunday morning already? Then, that meant...
"Oh, hello Miss Washu! What'cha doing over there?"
Mihoshi... Curses! She'd forgotten to reseal the door!
"Oh my, is that the Dimension Tuner? How wonderful!" Mihoshi wandered over and began pushing buttons randomly. "Are you going to send us off on another fun adventure? That would be really neat!"
"No, don't touch that! Get away from there!" Washu cried frantically, trying to pry the bubbly blonde away from the controls. Mihoshi merely babbled on obliviously.
"Do you think we can go to a world where Ayeka _isn't_ my sister-in-law, though? Not that I want to be rude, but she was _very_ pushy, not to mention an old maid..." She continued to punch random buttons as the Tuner Orb began to convulse spastically.
Knowing where this was going, Washu clambered up the apparatus as fast as her panicked limbs would allow her. Wincing as she received a series of mild shocks, Washu managed to remove the Orb from the arch-like strut where it was housed. "There! Ha! You won't spoil my experiment _this_ time, Mihoshi!"
"Hmmm? What was that you said?" Mihoshi asked as she pushed a Large Red Button. "I couldn't hear you..."
With an electrical zorch, Washu vanished in front of Mihoshi's surprised eyes.
"Wow, what a neat trick!"
*-*-*
With a puff of smoke and a whiff of ozone, Washu found herself alone in her lab. With a start she realized that all her equipment had been rearranged! Glancing around, she noted that the D-Tuner had also been dismantled, and that whoever had done it had done an excellent job. The machine was in pieces, laid out in an easy-to-assemble pattern.
"Ye gads, how long was I out? And who's been messing with my personal space?"
"Wow, you're pretty darn cute, for an invader!" A hauntingly-familiar voice called out. Washu spun, only to spy... Herself?
An exact duplicate of the crimson-haired scientist was standing not three meters away, a smirk on her face. Washu recognized the look. It was her patented "I-don't-know-what-just-happened-yet-but-it'll-be-fun-finding-out " smirk. The second genius bowed dramatically.
"Greeting, oh gorgeous intruder! I am Washuu! Greatest Genius in the Universe! And who are you?"
Washu was mildly take aback, but retained her composure. "I am Washu! Greatest Genius in _My_ Universe!" Washuu smiled delightedly as the tiny Washulings appeared on Washu's shoulders and gave three hurrahs before vanishing once more.
"Chibi-Mecha-Washuus! I almost built myself a set years ago, but never got around to it... I see you managed to build yourself a D-Tuner, cutie! You _must_ be a parallel me..."
"Mm-hmm..." Washu nodded, pondering the implications. "Although it wasn't supposed to do this. It was supposed to remake local timespace-"
"-into our perfect world." Washuu finished. "I know, I was building the same thing... So this is our perfect universe, eh? Can't say as I'm too impressed..."
"Oh, I don't know," Washu wondered aloud. "A colleague I can respect, at last! We simply HAVE to collaborate on something..."
With a pop and a puff of ozone-tinged air, a third identical
genius appeared, a second D-Tuner Orb in her arms.
"Greetings! I am Washyuu-"
"-The Greatest Scientist in the Universe..." Washu and Washuu chorused. Washyuu blinked hard and glanced around.
"Say, this doesn't look like my lab..."
*-*-*
By that evening, no fewer than five dimensional analogues of the Greatest Scientist in the Universe were chatting merrily together. The quintet had adjourned to the large floating bath-island that Washuu had built for her Masaki family analogues.
The Washus were interested to note that two of their number were in fact Earth-born and American, but were rapidly forgiven their poor taste in birthplaces. Three were actually humanoid aliens, one was a goddess, two had been imprisoned in crystal for centuries, and another was a wanted fugitive from the Galaxy Police.
"So you're a space pirate?" Washuu asked Washyuu as she scrubbed her back.
"Not really, more like a Genius-For-Hire." Washyuu explained. "I was hired by the Space Pirate Ryoukou to help steal a Juraiian power source, but we were shot down and stuck here on Earth by the Galaxy Police and Princess Aekaa..."
"Hmm, so my daughter's a space pirate in every universe..." Washuu mused.
"Rioko? A space pirate?" Professor Washu gasped, in her American-accented Japanese. "She's just a schoolgirl! And she's our daughter?"
"I don't know who this Ryoko person is," interjected Washu Fitzgerald Kobayashi, "But she sounds an awful lot like a Juraihelm ninja-woman that I met... Daughter you say?"
"Well, mine, anyway." Washuu said as she slipped into the warm waters. "Does everyone have a Tenchi?"
All the girls nodded, except for Washu F. Kobayashi. "Never heard of him. Is he a boyfriend?"
The other Washus, with the exception of Prof. Washu, sighed dreamily. "No, not really..." They said in unison. "Just the cutest lil' guinea pig in the universe..."
At that moment, the guinea pig in question happened to step though the portal to the baths, a towel tied around his waist.
"Yeeps!" He covered his eyes immediately and flushed a deep crimson. "S-sorry Washuu, I'll come back later..." He practically dove back through the portal, his towel floating to the ground behind him, giving the quintet a brief glimpse at his lily-white tush.
"Yowza!" W.F.K. exclaimed. The others nodded in agreement.
"Say..." Washu pondered aloud. "He really shouldn't be running around without his towel..."
"Quite right," Washuu nodded. "He'll catch cold."
"We really _should_ go return it to him..." Washyuu stated.
"Mmm-Hmm..." chorused the rest.
And with a hew and cry (and a loud fanfare from the Washulings), the chase was on...
NEXT: No Need For Quantum Tenchis!
AUTHOR'S NOTE:Programs! Getcher Programs here! Can't tell a Genius from a Mad Scientist without yer program!
(I'm simply using various romanization patterns to differentiate the Washus. No bias or preference towards a particular form should be implied)
Washu: Tenchi Universe TV Series Washuu: Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Oh-Ki OAV series and No Need For Tenchi! Manga Washyuu: Shin Tenchi Muyo! (Tenchi in Tokyo) Professor Washu: Pretty Sammy the Magical Girl OAV series Washu Fitzgerald Kobayashi: Magical Project S TV Series
All forms of C+C, including MST3K's are welcome, I have thick skin! Send to: catthouse@lweb.net
This fic and all my others are archived at: http://www.angelfire.com/anime/spacepiratesguild/
From: "DaveCatt" <catthouse@lweb.net>
TENCHI MUCHO! A Tenchi Muyo Fanfiction By Dave Menard
DISCLAIMER: Tenchi and co. are copyright AIC and Pioneer, and are used here without permission.
WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE: Go to my page (url below) to see chapter one, but here's the short version. Washu, from the Tenchi TV Universe, has rebuilt her Dimensional Tuner (Last seen in TV episode "Time and Space Adventures") and meant to use it to create her perfect world. Unfortunately, due to interference from Mihoshi, she was sent into the Tenchi OAV universe instead, where she encountered her analogue in that dimension. In no time at all, other Washus started appearing from the other Tenchi canon universes, and soon a Washu-party was being held in OAV Washuu's floating onsen.
WHICH WASHU'S WHICH?
Washu: Tenchi TV series Washuu: Tenchi OAV and manga Washyuu: Shin Tenchi Muyo! Prof. Washu: Pretty Sammy TV series Washu Fitzgerald Kobayashi: Magical Project S
Events in this fanfiction take place in the OAV universe, roughly a year after "Daughter of Darkness"
Chapter Two: No Need For Quantum Tenchis!
Sasami hummed merrily to herself as she prepared dinner in the Masaki kitchen. Ryo-Oh-Ki, in little-girl form, helped, chopping carrots alongside her bestest friend. All in all, it was an extremely kawaii scene of domestic happiness.
"I wonder," Sasami pondered, "If Washuu's guests will be staying for supper?"
"Miya?" Ryo-Oh-Ki chirped, in a adorably kawaii manner.
Suddenly, the scene of domestic bliss was shattered by the fleeing naked form of Tenchi as he streaked through the kitchen like all the hounds of hell were at his heels.
"Oh dear..." Sasami worried cutely. "I wonder what's wrong with Tenchi?"
Ryo-Oh-Ki shrugged.
The answer was quick in coming as a pack of Washuus in bathtowels charged into the kitchen.
"Which way did he go, Sasami-chan?" A Washuu asked, jogging in place.
Sasami and Ryo-Oh-ki pointed silently in the direction Tenchi had headed, big beads of sweat on their brows.
"Thanks!" The Washuus chorused, before hurtling out the door after the naked boy.
"Come back, Tenchi!" called a Washuu bringing up the rear. "You forgot your towel!"
"We can play 'Salaryman and Soaplady!'" called another.
"Ten-chiii! I'll show you my magic fingers!!!" a third cried.
Tenchi's terrified yells echoed across the lake.
**************************
Ryouko and Aeka sat in the bath, thinking dark thoughts of revenge. For a change, these thoughts weren't directed at each other...
"Did you SEE the way Miss Washuu er... The Miss Washuu_s_ carried on?" Aeka sniffed primly. "It was disgraceful!"
"Uh huh..." Ryouko growled. "Like a horde of hottentots."
"Honestly, a woman of HER age behaving in such a manner!"
"Something's gotta be done, little princess. Tenchi'll NEVER come around if she's poking and prodding and fondling and stuff..."
"I quite agree! Something MUST be done!"
The duo stewed in silence for a moment.
"She's gotta have SOME kinda weakness..." Ryouko mumbled.
"She's YOUR mother, YOU tell ME..." Aeka snapped.
"Don't remind me!" The space pirate snarled. Suddenly, indentical lightbulbs went off over each girl's head.
"BABIES!" They cried in unison.
"You get Mayuka, I'll go save Tenchi!" Ryouko said, rising out of the bath.
"No, _you_ get Mayuka, _I_ shall rescue Lord Tenchi!"
"No, I'll do it-"
"No, _I'll_ do it!"
"No, me!"
"Me!!"
"ME!"
"ME!!"
Laser swords and force fields were deployed to settle the issue, with the usual results.
************************************
Mayuka, (the baby in question,) was presently lying happily in the arms of her great-grandfather, the man known alternately as Katsuhito Masaki or Yosho Jurai, depending on which planet you happened to be from.
"Coochie-coochie-coo..." The shrine priest/prince-in- exile whispered to his purple-haired charge, jingling the keys to the shrine over the baby's head. Mayuka gurgled happily, reaching for the ring. With a clutching hand, she managed to capture one of the keys and tugged it downwards towards her mouth. "Now, now, little one, I don't imagine those would be very tasty..."
Mayuka evidently disagreed, as she brought both hands to bear tugging the key into her mouth. "Ah well," Katsuhito smiled. "I suppose when you're teething, you just need to chew on something..." He allowed the infant to guide the key into her mouth.
Suddenly, blue fur sprouted across the baby's skin in a pattern of stripes as she bit down on the iron key.
Katsuhito held up the remaining half of the key, examining the place where it had been sheared in two as if by bolt-cutters.
"It is a good thing, I think," He murmured, looking down at his now fur-less charge, who smiled pleasantly back, "That no one ever had to breastfeed you, great granddaughter."
He was started out of his tranquillity by the sound of bare feet slapping against the stone steps of the shrine.
"GRAMPA! You've got to HIDE me!" Tenchi squawked, sliding the door closed behind him.
"Tenchi!" Katsuhito scolded. "You _must_ keep your voice down, you'll frighten your daughter!" He blinked once as he noticed Tenchi's clothes, or lack of them. "And for goodness' sake cover yourself!" He threw an old set of robes he'd been using as swaddling for the baby at Tenchi, who quickly dressed himself. "Now, boy. What seems to be the problem?"
"There's a whole pack of little Washuus after me!" He groaned, slumping to the ground in defeat. "As if I didn't have enough problems..."
"A pack of Washuus, you say? Hmm... That must be who I hear coming up the stairs..."
"Huh? WHAT?" Tenchi yelped. Katsuhito nodded towards the door. Tenchi turned, sliding the door open a crack. Trembling, he peered outside.
"HIYA, TENCHIIII...." Five identical voices said at once as five identical spiky-haired girls smiled kawaii-ly.
"Eeep!" Tenchi eeeped, sliding the door shut once more. "What am I going to do?"
"Leave that to me, Tenchi," Ryouko said, materializing beside him. "I need to borrow Mayuka for a sec."
"Ryouko, no! She's not a toy!"
"I know _that_, Tenchi, geez! Just trust me, willya?"
"Tenchi, listen to the young lady." Katsuhito nodded sagely. "I believe I know what she plans to do."
"Aww, okay, Grampa, but I'm still-"
"Thanks, Tenchi!" Ryouko grinned, picking little Mayuka up by the back of her jumper. "I saw this on Macross once, it's _gotta_ work!" With one foot, she slid open the door to the shrine house and stepped out, holding Mayuka aloft like a sacred idol. "Behold!" She cried. "The power of love!"
All five Washuu immediately went all big eyed. Even the two who weren't old enough to HAVE children.
"OOOOOHHHHH! A BABY!!!!!!" The Washuus rushed forward, snatching the infant from Ryouko's grasp. "Isn't she cuuuuuute?" Prof. Washu cooed. Washuu nodded. "Absolutely adorable, isn't she? I'm one of her godmothers, you know..." "Oh, babies, babies, babies..." sighed Washyuu and Washu in stereo, their voices slightly sad. "Can I hold her? Pleeeeeze?" W.F.K. pleaded. Mayuka, overjoyed at all the attention, gurgled happily and blew a dribble-bubble.
In the midst of all the baby-fever, Tenchi was able to escape back down the hill, Ryouko quick at his heels. "See?" She grinned at Tenchi. "I toldja it'd work!"
************************************
Ryouko and Tenchi met up with the rest of the household back at the house. A council of war was quickly held.
"This is intolerable!" Piped Aeka. "Something simply must be done! Tenchi, ask them to leave!"
Tenchi opened his mouth to respond that he already had, thank you, when Nobiyuki chimed in. "Now, son. You know better than that! We can't just throw them out, they're our guests!"
"So what are we supposed to do, then? Let 'em have Tenchi? I don't THINK so!" Ryouko growled. "Mayuka ain't gonna hold 'em forever, ya know..."
"Oh dear oh dear oh dear..." Mihoshi fretted. "What are we going to dooooooo?"
"I'm afraid we can't afford to feed all those Washuus unless Uncle gets a pay raise..." Sasami said, worriedly.
"Miyaa!" Ryo-Oh-Ki contributed, but since no one there spoke cabbit except for Ryouko, (and she wasn't listening) no one understood her.
"I suppose we could always use Washuu's machine to send them all back, couldn't we?" Tenchi opined.
"Hey, yeah! That'd work!" Ryouko seconded enthusiastically. "Great idea, Tenchi!" She rewarded him with a glomp, placing her rump directly in Aeka's face.
"Now look here, monster-woman!" Aeka cried, shoving Ryouko's hindquarters aside. "You're no better than Miss Washu when you behave like that!" She spared Ryouko a glare before saying sweetly to Tenchi: "It _was_ an excellent idea, Lord Tenchi, but I'm afraid I must point out a flaw in your otherwise perfect reasoning. Does anyone here know HOW to operate any of Washuu's machines?"
"Umm..."
"Errr..."
"Ah..."
Mi-yaa..."
"I do!" Mihoshi said.
Once everyone had picked themselves up off the floor, Mihoshi elaborated. "Well, it's just that her inventions are so fascinating and I love to watch her work, even if she doesn't like it when I'm in her lab... Not to mention the fact that dimensional theory is really not much different than superstring theory, and I did my final paper at the Galaxy Police Academy on superstring theory... Anyway, I think I could figure it out... Why is everybody looking at me funny?"
************************
The gang (minus Nobiyuki and Ryo-Oh-Ki, as well as the Washuus, who were still playing with Mayuka up at the shrine) was gathered in Washuu's lab, frantically following Mihoshi's directions as they powered up the Dimensional Tuner.
"I can't believe we're following directions from _Mihoshi_..." Ryouko grumbled.
"_I_ can't believe she has a PhD in Quantum Physics from Galaxy Tech!!" Aeka seconded.
"_I_ can't believe she was class valedictorian..." Tenchi thirded.
"I'm not worried!" Sasami said cheerily. "I just _know_ Mihoshi can do it!!"
In minutes, they were ready. The others had to admit that the device _looked_ like it was properly assembled, and what readouts they could understand looked nominal. Nothing was flashing red, anyway.
"Mmm, okaayyy..." Mihoshi said as she looked over the device, absently twisting a lock of hair around a finger. "I've set the recall function at four, so hopefully that should get rid of the extra Washuus..."
"You're absolutely _sure_ that this is going to work, right, Mihoshi?" Tenchi pleaded.
"Of course! All I have to do is hit this little green button..." She pushed down on the switch, and the machine made an alarming siren-y protesting sort of sound. "Or maybe that red one..."
Mihoshi, Ryouko, Tenchi and Aeka disappeared in a flash of light and a puff of ozone.
Sasami shook her head sadly. Poor Mihoshi will be so upset...
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
Next: My Dinner With Aeka!
Finally, the second chapter! Once again, all forms of C+C, public, private or MST3K are welcomed! Thanks to all the wonderful folks who C+C'd the first chapter, I wouldn't have done this without you...
http://www.angelfire.com/anime/spacepiratesguild/
"I would not, could not kill the King... I would not poison Anything!" --Green Eggs and Hamlet
From: "DaveCatt" <catthouse@lweb.net>
TENCHI MUCHO! A Tenchi Muyo! Fanfiction By Dave Menard
DISCLAIMER: Tenchi and the gang (in all their various incarnations) are owned wholly by Pioneer/AIC. NOT by me. So I'm leaving myself open to legal action here, but I hope their lawyers (if they bother to read fanfiction, anyway) have a sense of humour. I haven't made any money off this, nor do I hope to.
WHAT'S HAPPENED SO FAR: Due to a mixup with her Dimensional Tuner, the Washu from the Tenchi TV series was sent into the OAV universe, where she ended up rendezvousing with her dimensional analogues from the other Tenchi universes. The five Washus (sounds like a band, doesn't it?) quickly made nuisances of themselves, hogging the bathroom, chasing Tenchi around, cutting into Ryouko and Aeka's action and monopolizing Baby Mayuka. The rest of the gang decided that something HAD to be done. Hastily, and perhaps ill-advisedly, they rebuilt the D-Tuner under the guidance of Mihoshi of all people, who, unknown to the others, was apparently a PhD in Quantum Theory. Predictably, Something Went Horribly Astray, and Tenchi, Ryouko, Aeka and the newly-dubbed Dr. Mihoshi vanished in a flash of light.
CHAPTER THREE: MY DINNER WITH AEKA-HIME
Aeka, first princess of Jurai and galactic-level spoiled brat, appeared in the schoolyard in a flash of light, causing the children to scatter.
"Oooh, drat!" Aeka stomped her dainty feet. "I should have KNOWN that Mihoshi would somehow manage to foul this up!" She looked around, taking in her surroundings with a jaundiced eye. "Goodness... Wherever did that foolish girl send me? It seems to be some kind of educational facility-" A softball bounced off her head, sending her sprawling to the ground.
"-or perhaps a juvenile detention centre..." She groaned, picking herself up and brushing the schoolyard dirt off her kimono. "Who threw that?!" She looked around, shooting patented Aeka withering glares out like laser beams. The horrid little brats seemed unimpressed.
"Hah! We ain't afraid of you, monster-lady!" a particularly insolent child hollered. "You an' your evil Martian empire'll NEVER defeat Pretty Sammy the Magical Girl!!!"
"Pretty... Sammy? What kind of foolishness is this? Listen, young man, I-" she said with a haughty flourish,. "happen to be Aeka, First Princess of Jurai, Duchess of Ryuten, and Heiress to the most powerful Empire in Known Space! And I deMAND to be taken to your leader!"
Aeka was treated to the spectacular sight of an entire schoolyard full of preteens giving her the Japanese Redeye, followed swiftly by a good pelting with dirt clods, rocks, Pokemon trading cards (only their doubles) and marbles. Mouthing expletives her mother would have been shocked to find she knew, Aeka erected he forcefield and ran. Oh certainly, she could have punished the children for their insolence, but she didn't have the energy to personally spank every last one of the nasty little anklebiters individually. Somehow, somewhere, there was a way out of this madhouse, and away from naughty children with no respect for persons, place or station.
As if sent by the gods, a familiar face appeared in her path. So overjoyed was she that she failed to notice the look of fierce determination in the young girl's eyes.
"Sasami!" Aeka practically wept with relief. Her clever little sister would surely set things to right! "Oh, thank goodness! How wonderful! Does this mean that Lord Tenchi has somehow managed to come to save me?" She clutched her hands to her chest in rapture. "Where is he? I MUST thank him personally!"
Sasami frowned, a sight so shocking to Aeka that she took a step back. The younger girl stepped forward, pulling a heart-topped baton from her backpack. "Lady Romio, you're so cruel! How can you take the name of a young girl's first lost love in vain? I don't know why you've come here without your troops, but in the name of love and justice, I will punish you!!!"
"Sasami? Whatever do you mean, 'troops'? And what are you doing with that baton?"
***************************
Tenchi materialised in front of a familiar landmark, the Masaki home.
"Phew! Thank GOODness. She only teleported me outside!" He wiped nervous sweat from his brow and glanced around, looking for any sign of Washuus in the gathering twilight. Since the area seemed to be free of Washu-like presences, he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and walked back into the house.
"Well, _that_ didn't work-" He called out as he strolled into the house. "Can we try it again?"
"TENCHI!!!!!!"
Tenchi was suddenly dive-tackled by an extremely happy space-pirate. The other members of the household appeared as if by magic. Aeka, Sasami, Ryo-Oh-ki, Mihoshi and some girl he'd never seen before gangpiled him, pulling him into a massive group hug.
Confused by the response, he managed to extricate himself (but just barely) and backed up a bit. "Whoaa! Hey, how long was I gone? Long enough for us to have another houseguest, I guess..." He smiled pleasantly at the dark green haired girl. The five girls and one cabbit blinked, looked at each other, and back at Tenchi.
"How long? Tenchi..." Ryouko said, seeming perplexed. "We haven't seen you since the summer holiday... Ever since you closed up the star-gate we haven't been able to visit you, you know that..."
"Huh? What are you talking about, Ryouko? Is this another one of your pranks?" He turned to the new girl and bowed from the waist. "Hello, my name's Tenchi. Welcome to our home..."
"Welcome?" The girl said, glancing at the other girls before returning her attention to Tenchi. "Tenchi, I've lived here for two years now. Don't you remember? It's me! Kiyone!"
"You're Kiyone? Wow, it's nice to meet you at last! Mihoshi's told us all so much about you, I feel like I already know you..."
"Tenchi, you DO know me! You gave me this!" She held up a small diamond-shaped prism on a chain tied around her neck. Tenchi merely cocked his head in confusion. "I'm sorry, I don't seem to recall... It sure is pretty, though... did you say you've lived here for two years? Oh no! Mihoshi must've sent me forward in time..."
"Tenchi, are you _sure_ you're all right?" Ryouko said in a concerned tone. "Whaddya mean you don't remember Kiyone? You remember me, right?" she said hopefully. "Right?"
"Of course I do, Ryouko..." Tenchi answered in a reassuring tone. "How could I forget? I woke you up from grandfather's shrine, and there hasn't been a dull moment since..." he laughed nervously. "What?"
"He's gone mad!" Aeka cried, anguished. "All that time in Tokyo away from me, his one true love, has driven him past the brink!"
"Somebody get Washyuu out here, quick!" Kiyone yelled. "Something's wrong with Tenchi!" Sasami nodded and rushed to Washyuu's closet.
"No! No Washuu! PLEASE!" Tenchi hollered.
"Relax, Tenchi," Ryouko said, patting his hand. "Whatever's the matter, we'll face it together, right? Just like you taught us..." She smiled reassuringly and held up a crystal that matched the one Kiyone wore.
"What's going on? this is CRAZY!" Tenchi bellowed.
"Bad news everybody!" Sasami cried, re-emerging into the living room. "Washyuu's gone!"
************************************
Ryouko popped into existence in midair above the Masaki Shrine.
"Hmmph. Typical. Mihoshi screws up _again_..."
She noted with a sigh that the gang of Washuus had left, and were no longer clustered around Katsuhito's office. Must be back downstairs buggin' Tenchi again, she thought. Well, so much for plan A. Now it's time for plan B, which involves me working off some frustration by fragging a few Mom-clones. Lazily, she flew down the mountain towards the lake and the house. Idly, she noticed the telepathic signals from Ryo-Oh-Ki, the ones that kept her in constant touch with her pet/spaceship/partner-in-crime were oddly garbled,as though they two were somehow out of sync. Okay, she thought. Better skip fragging Mom until she can take a look at the little furball.
With a sigh, she floated down through the roof of the house into the living room. the rest of the gang seemed to have reassembled there... Oh, great! she thought. The gang plus one! Of all the time to get a visit from that goody-goody sister of mine...
Ryouko alit next to her doppleganger, not noticing the shocked glances from the rest of her friends. "Heya, Minagi. Boy, did YOU pick the wrong time to visit. Washuu's running amuck and... Huh? What's with you guys?"
"R-ryoko?" Tenchi asked the doppleganger. "Since when did your shadow dress differently than you do?"
"Hey, I'M Ryouko. Try to keep up, Tenchi. I swear, I love you but sometimes you can be SO dense..."
That's not my shadow, Tenchi..." The other Ryouko said, growling. "S'gotta be some kinda TRICK!" She opened up on her double with a series of crimson laser blasts. "I just got my Tenchi BACK from that Haruna witch, and I ain't givin' him up to NO ONE!!!"
***********************************
Mihoshi re-entered reality on a busy street in the middle of the ginza, unnoticed by the busy passers-by.
"Oh, dear, oh my! I really should have pushed the red button... Now how am I gonna get home?" She glanced up at the sign of the store above her. "CD Vision" it read.
Now, Mihoshi has a truly remarkable mind. As Washuu once discovered to her amazement, the apparently-ditzy blonde has an IQ over 300 by a significant margin. As a matter of fact, Mihoshi has doctorates in both Quantum Theory and Astrophysics (both necessities for piloting even the puniest of Galaxy Police shuttles) as well as a truly impressive grasp of metaphysics, botany and police procedure. The problem is, that due to some unfortunate chemical experimentation back in her college days (Lambda Pi Sorority Rush Party, Stardate 42.35.73) she has no ability to collate the vast stores of information contained in her remarkable brain. As such, Mihoshi, to the untrained eye, appears to be dumb as a post.
She isn't, really.
Honest.
Why would I lie?
At any rate, Mihoshi's first response, upon finding herself kilometers from home due to a malfunction with a Dimensional Tuner, was to walk in to the aforementioned CD Vision store in search of the latest "Space Police Space Patrolmen" OAV. After all, you never know when you'll find a bargain, do you?
Humming happily to herself, she walked in the doors to the shop, only to be greeted by a familiar voice, long-unheard.
"Welcome to CD Vision, I'm Kiyone. How can I help youLLLLUUUULP!" She was suddenly pinned to the floor by a happy blonde whirlwind.
"KIYONE!!!!!!!!!"
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That's all for now! All forms of C+C appreciated, public, private or MST3K!
http://www.angelfire.com/anime/spacepiratesguild/
"I would not, could not kill the King... I would not poison Anything!" --Green Eggs and Hamlet
