Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
CLiT #20: When All the Colours Turn Grey (I curl up and die)
> <
> ___ <
> -===- / \ -===================================[ CLiT ]=============- <
> | |%. <
> df\___/ ~% OH YEAH BABY!@#$ <
> %` |__ '& <
> f' /\ \ % ...Episode XX... <
> %| | \ \ '%&aq. <
> % | \_______ '%& <
> ,% \ --_ --_ '% _When All the Colours Turn Grey_ <
> $% \ \ '% _(I curl up and die)_ <
> q% | \ % <
> %l | .%~ <
> - %l .%%~ -=============[ The Pleasure 'Zine ]==========- <
> ~%eeeeeeeeeeeee%~ <
> <
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE NOTE" - by AlterEcho
Phew! Made it! YesiREE, this is issue numero twenTEE.
Ahem.
Seeing this is a such a momentous issue in the short, yet proud history of
CLiT, I decided that this should be - yes, you guessed it - another theme
issue! Can you say "YAY!@"? And the lucky topic is (cue drumroll)...
sad, bitter, angsty, depression!
Now, I know exactly what you're thinking. You're thinking: "Wow, am I a
silly, fat git." And you are. But you're also thinking: "That damn AlterEcho
is always writing about what a sadcase he is." And I am. But this time, it's
not my fault. It was, in fact, the people's choice. The Cr00's choice. And
who am I to go against the Cr00? The editor, that's who.
Oh, well. What's done is done. Let us soon look to the future, to happier
times, and more yummy CLiTs. We are, after all, Le Pleasure 'Zine. But for
now, settle back with a big tub of chocolate ice-cream, and keep the tissues
and a bucket (for throwing up in) handy.
No prizes for guessing what I'm writing about (Happy Valentine's Day).
And the word of the day is WENCH.
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
: : : : : : /-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\ : : : : : :
: :
:: : : : : : "TABLE OF FUCKING CONTENTS" : : : : : ::
: :
: : : : : : \-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/ : : : : : :
{x} -=- "THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE NOTE" .............................. AlterEcho
{x} -=- "TABLE OF FUCKING CONTENTS" .........................................
{x} -=- "HERE IS A POEM" .......................................... AlterEcho
{x} -=- "DEPRESSION IS NINE-TENTHS OF THE WHORE" ....................... Anon
{x} -=- "THE JOYS OF ST. VALENTINE" ............................. Arcane Frog
{x} -=- "HAVE FUN WITHOUT ME, FRIENDS" ............................ Arianrhod
{x} -=- "IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY" ............................... Aerialisticish
{x} -=- "THE RETURN OF THE CLiT RUMOUR PHILE!" ................ the CLiT Cr00
{x} -=- "ALAS, NO" ................................................ AlterEcho
{x} -=- "A TALE OF ALTERECHO" ................................... Arcane Frog
{x} -=- "HERE IS A POEM (Aftermath)" .............................. AlterEcho
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"HERE IS A POEM" - by AlterEcho
Heart of glass -
Broken
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"DEPRESSION IS NINE-TENTHS OF THE WHORE" - by Anon
Of all the worst people you could be stuck living with, I had to get the
depressed guy. Not just any bloody depressed guy, but the "famous", "will-
you-write-for-me-now-im-depressed-damnit" editor of this e-zine.
"Write something for me, Anon, I'm depressed."
"Put my plate away for me, I'm depressed."
"Iron my shirt for me, I'm fucking well depressed, you hear me?"
It's annoying. He gets no sleep, picks fights at random, demands this that
and the other because he's depressed over god-knows-what some girl or
something. Jesus H. Christ! Build a bridge and get over it.
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"THE JOYS OF ST. VALENTINE" - by Arcane Frog
February 14th. Birds singing. Love blooming. People fucking. What a load of
SHYTE! Valentine's day is and always will be a fucking farce.
It is a fucking capitalist ploy by gobshyte florists and pud-pulling greeting
card companies to rake in huge amounts of money by playing upon the human
weakness of guilt.
"If I don't bring home flowers she'll fucking kill me."
(Weak dickless tosser)
"Shyte, I havent sent her a card yet. Better buy that (fuckingly overpriced
piece of smaltzy shit) Valentine's card for her!"
(Sycophantic butt-licker)
I read an article that said 1 in 10 people send a valentine to themselves??!!
WTF??????!!!!!!! Any day that makes the world's population act so fucking
pathetic is a disgrace. We already have New Year's Eve where we get pissed
and make fucking fools of ourselves but at least we can blame the booze.
What can we blame our Valentine's day actions on? LOVE? What a fucking joke!
Love is ONLY an excuse for having sex!
It is a conspiracy to make single people feel like fucking shyte and pathetic
soley so these arsehole companies can make more money.
I don't need you fucks to make me feel shyte and pathetic, I do a good enough
job myself. FUCK OFF!!!!!!
BTW LOVE FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"HAVE FUN WITHOUT ME, FRIENDS" - by Arianrhod
I'm depressed. But not your run of the mill, why-don't-I-have-a-million-
dollars depressed. It's more the why-am-I-not-going-back-to-school-like-
everyone-else depressed. You may be wondering why on earth I would be
depressed about not going back to school. Well, I'll tell you: It's because
everyone I know in my life IS going back to school tomorrow, except me. Last
year I finished year twelve. *breathes a giant sigh of relief* That in itself
is an excellent thing. I finished year twelve with high hopes for the
University course I would get into.
But I did not get into a University course.
So now, everyone is going back to school. My sister, my friend Dave G.,
Abyss, Aerialisticish. All the people I socialise with in the mornings I
won't see anymore. Which means no more laughing with Shaun and Simon on the
bus, and no more snoozing with Aerialisticish at Essendon Station in the
mornings.
As much as I complained and bitched about school all of last year, it did
provide me with a social life, that life mostly existing on the trip to
school anyway but that will end because I am not making that trip anymore.
My social life will ground to a halt, because all the people I was partying
with last year are in year twelve, and have to "do work". And because I
didn't get into university, I won't make any new friends.
So I'm gearing up for a year or several of sitting in my house, picking out
my eye jam. Anyone wanna join me? Oh, I forgot, you're all at school.
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY" - by Aerialisticish
Valentine's day. HMM. Seems like a bit of a con, doesn't it? Those nasty,
cynical voices floating in my head remind me of this. This time around,
however, it's different - thers another group of voices that remind me the
girl with whom I am has a bit of a romantic streak :) The voices remind me
that she would probably enjoy getting something, and give me a nice big...
smile. They know I (really) love that.
"Looks like youve been conned," they say.
"Just shut the fuck up or you'll ruin it all," the others say.
"Well OK, she IS important. Just as long as it's not flowers."
"Yeah, yeah, of course."
This issue was supposed to have a depression theme, but I don't think I'm
qualified to write on that subject... perhaps it's because the voices are
nice and co-operative. Think about it, hmmm?
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"THE RETURN OF THE CLiT RUMOUR PHILE!" - by the CLiT Cr00
* Anon is actually PipeScream! Jesus H. Christ!#
* The CLiT forum is OVERFLOWING with feedback! Go post! QUICK YOU FOOL!
<http://anada.net/cgi-bin/ikonboard/forums.cgi?forum=10>
* Abyss is dead.
* Aerialisticish likes Aerials!
* Arianrhod is just a widdle kid.
* AlkalineAngel is busy saving national parks from trains.
* Conjugate Acid does not start with the letter `A'.
* Conjugate Acid is a n00b.
* Asadersialle is being pressured to return, or at least do a (nude) cameo.
* Aerialisticish has not written because he is making out with his
GIRLFRIEND. Eww, GERL GERMS!
* Arcane Frog and AlterEcho have been single WAY too long.
* AlterEcho has been single for less than one month.
* AlterEcho has met THE ONE, and is glad she looks nothing like Keanu Reeves.
* CLiT brings good luck, and is life enriching.
* Rumours are all undeniably true!
* Somebody is lying!
* The brown dog has crabs.
* AlterEcho is about to become obsessed with a private joke.
* THE BROWN DOG HAS CRABS!@
* THE QUICK BROWN FOX DID NOT ACTUALLY JUMP OVER THE LAZY DOG, BUT THE LAZY
(BROWN) DOG DID IN FACT HAVE CRABS!
* CRABZ!!@#
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"ALAS, NO" - by AlterEcho
I refuse to write about her.
I refuse to write about her.
I refuse to write about her.
I refuse to write about her gorgeous smile.
I refuse to write about the first time we got together, and how I can still
see her face in that instant before she leaned forward and kissed me.
I refuse to write about the wave of dread that swept over me when we stood
outside in the freezing cold and she whispered "I don't think this is
working".
I refuse to write about how much I still want her.
I refuse to write about how much it hurts.
I refuse to write about her.
I refuse to write about her.
IT SHALL NOT BE.
Real men don't cry.
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
^The sea is stark and lovely, and it scares me to point of rapture^
^I was your good gardener, Now I -can barely- look at ya^
-Augie March-
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"A TALE OF ALTERECHO" - by Arcane Frog
The sun was shining and the birds were singing as our good friend AlterEcho
took a lovely stroll down the street. Along the way he met Mr. Happy who was
singing a charming song about keeping a smile on your face at all times. When
Mr. Happy saw the brooding AlterEcho he felt compelled to put a little beam
of sunshine into his life.
"Hello Gloomy Guts," he said cheerfully.
"Fuck off, gobshyte!" came the reply.
"Well, isn't that a little negative, Mr. Doom-and-Gloom. How about we turn
that frown upside down?"
"How about you sod off!"
"C'mon, tell Mr. Happy what's wrong."
"I'll tell you what's fucking wrong!!!!!"
With that AlterEcho pulled out a M-16 out of his pants and shot the shit out
of Mr. Happy until he was just a pathetic and not so cheerful pile of
miscellaneous body parts.
And what is the moral of this story, boys and girls?
Don't be cheerful because some depressed editor will gib you to bits.
THE END
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
"HERE IS A POEM (Aftermath)" - by AlterEcho
Heart of glass -
Broken
The cracks shall forever remain
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~
..--------------------------------------------------------------------------.
:| (C) 2002 by CLiT || http://clit.freeshell.org || clit@sdf.lonestar.org |
:| Australian Owned & Made || Released 14.02.02 |
:`--------------------------------------------------------------------------'
:
: THOSE WHO STAND UNDER THE CLiT FLAG BUT PROBABLY WISH THEY DIDN'T :-
:
: Aerialisticish :- Enjoying himself immensely (the git) ;
: Arianrhod :- A-whinin' and a-whingin' (Typical female) ;
: Anon :- Finally part of the `A Team' (PipeScream)! ;
: Arcane Frog :- Taking CLiT to a whole new (fucked-up) level ;
: AlterEcho :- Copping it (bitter)sweet ;
: et al!
*
