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CLiT #6: It's My Party, And I'll Cry If I Want To
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...episode 6... .
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_It's My Party, And I'll Cry If I Want To_ :
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AE---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is an excerpt from my diary:
22.01.01
Today is my birthday, and fuck, I'm depressed.
Actually, I don't really keep a diary, but you get the point. I'm dedicating
this issue of CLiT to me. That means that for this, my 19th birthday, I gave
myself twice as many presents as I got from other people, with a grand total
of three presents.
Oh, well. I'm over it. And no, I didn't cry.
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. Happy Birthday Tribute I .
. [ AlkalineAngel ] .
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^>>
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****************************************
*
***
*****
*****
Happy Birthday *****
I hope you like knives * ***
To kill all your wives ***
And bake them into pies ***** *
***** ***
*** *****
*****
*****
***
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. Life In A Bubble (Yes, I'm Materialistic) .
. [ AlkalineAngel ] .
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It's 4am or something but it's too late
The damage has been done and I
Can't go back in the world to correct what I did wrong
Phoning frantically
Running around
It's like trying to think through rush hour at Melbourne Central
But it's my mind that's confused
Stressed
Screaming for release
Not people
And all the horrible possibilities that could all lead from
One careless mistake
One I could have avoided
Or minimised in the least
What if I had've checked my seat
What if I had've looked in my bag
What if I hadn't passed off that thought entering my mind
What if I had've realised sooner
What if I had've what if
I don't even know the damage
But this feeling I cannot shake
Originating from the pit of my stomach
Creeping, seeping
Into every crevass of my mind
And then the long term implications
The cost
The hassle
The waste of time and effort
You know
Because I had so many important things to do with my time anyway
But more than that
It's like losing my life
My ability to communicate with the world
And the little momentos
The sweet little messages from him
And I've lost more than a phone
Almost my lifeline
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. Happy Birthday Tribute II .
. [ PipeScream ] .
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Yeah, yeah, happy birthday. Whatever. You're still older than me. Feel proud.
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. And Now, An Advertisment .
. [ PipeScream ] .
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Got your head in the clouds? Are you a political extremist? Think you're the
best thing since sliced bread? Then get a Reality Check (tm)! For only $49.95
(not including shipping or GST) you too can take the quick plunge back down
to earth. It's that simple! So call 1800-LOSER today! Have your credit card
handy.
Here's what some of our customers had to say about the Reality Check (tm):
"Yeah, mate. I used to think I was the bomb, mate. I had me Monaro and Umbro
sports jacket and me mobile phone, mate. But then, ya see, I got this brand
new Reality Check (tm) and look at me now, mate. I'm a new guy, mate."
-"Spiro"
"I used to think there was nobody else in this world but Americans, you know
what I'm sayin'? Like we were, like, the master race, sorta like. But then I
got the Reality Check (tm) and hey, I discovered Mexicans! It was like, hey,
"Wow man!" Mexicans!!!! you know what I'm saying?"
-John L. O. W. I. Q. Doe XVIII
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. You're Welcome (Happy Birthday Tribute III) .
. [ Aerialisticish ] .
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The holidays are almost over, and it's just as depressing as usual, except
for one important thing. I usually feel crap and kinda guilty that I didn't
actually do anythign of any consequence whatsoever in my time off. I'd just
sit there and lose what skerrik of fitness I might've stumbled across during
the year. But at least this holidays that's not the case, and I wanna thank
AE for organising it. :)
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^Plans that either come to naught, or half a page of scribbled lines^
-Pink Floyd-
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. What Gives? .
. [ Aerialisticish ] .
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When your brain imagines a scene, what senses are you fooling? The visual?
Maybe, and throw in a bit of aural to boot. Maybe it's bypassing these and
just throwing it all into your concept of what's 'there', but it's not doing
it too well. It's not complete. Why the fuck not??? With all the
adaptability it has, what happened to the emulation?
Reality sure can get tiresome.
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. Linux Loneliness .
. [ AlterEcho ] .
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D'you know the worst feeling of all? You probably don't, because you're not a
sad loser like me, so I'll tell you. Loneliness. Loneliness is like the anti-
orgasm. Yuck.
Sometimes, when you're all by yourself, and everyone seems to know everyone
else, you just gotta make use of what you've got. That's right, your warped,
perverse, incredibly puerile imagination. If you ain't got people, beam 'em
down from those twisted brainwaves, loner!
/A Gerl I Liked At School/
AE: Fatima, will you make out with me, right here in Lecture Theatre A?
Fatima: Sure, AE!
*Snog*
/The Rock/
AE: So, Rock, how about you and me join up as a tag team and take on that
scum, RTC? Right here in Sydney, Australia!!!
Rock: Finally, The Rock has come BACK to Australia! AE, let me say this.
You, the greatest damn writer of ALLTIME, and me, The Rock, The Great One,
The People's Champ, The Brahma Bull, will team up and destroy those gibronis!
We'll take those laptops down there, polish them up nice and shiny, and then
- stick them straight up their candy asses!! If you smellllllllll -
AE: Uh, we get the picture, Mr. Rock, sir.
/That Cute Gerl From The Augie March Concert/
AE: Hehehe, just kidding!
/A Little Boy, In A Sailor Suit/
AE: errrr
Little Boy: *vanishes*
/Willow/
AE: Willow, you are the most wonderful person I have ever seen on TV. Will
you marry me?
Willow: *Blush* Why, AE, I'd be flattered!
AE: !!!
*Snog*
/A Gerl I Liked At School (Take 2)/
AE: You're incredible. No-one has ever made me feel like the way you make me
feel. I love spending time with you, and I want to every second of each day
with you. How do you feel about me? Can you envisage a future in which you
and I can be happy together?
Little Boy In A Sailor Suit: Errrr...
AE: Oh, dear.
Loneliness can be dangerous, and that's for damn sure.
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. Happy Birthday Tribute IV .
. [ Asadersialle ] .
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AE, I don't know how to say this, but thanks & happy birthday & all the rest,
well that went rather well. For those who don't know him, he's FRIENDLY and
FRIENDLY and PLAIN NICE and of course AFFECTIONATE, well at least he tries to
tell me so.
So anyway a word of advice for the next year, don't get hammer (well not too
often) & stop asking Aerialisticish about me.
( my first editor's note - WTF? )
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. More Freakin' Loneliness .
. [ Asadersialle ] .
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A void, which can't be filled. Why am I lonely, (I hear you ask)?
I don't know, if I did I might be able to do something about it (sigh). It
may be due to a lack of friends. Where are they?.... Doing things, working,
laughing, enjoying themselves, basically getting on with their lives, without
me.
I feel insignificant, wait.... I am insignificant.
I have a life I try to tell myself, just without company. I don't think it
has anything to do with me being a perverted psychopath who is extremely
possessive, but one never knows. I'm just not a people person. I float. That
is from one group to another until I'm told to stop stalking them. Life can
be tough when you're alone.
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I am - AE.
I am - the editor of CLiT.
I am - 19 years old.
I am - angry because my family ate my birthday cake without waiting for me.
I am - signing off now.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------AE
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. He is - Aerialisticish
. She is - Asadersialle
She is - AlkalineAngel
. He is - PipeScream .
He is - AlterEcho
We are - CLiT : The Pleasure Zine
. We are - bringing this to you from the Great Southern Land
We are - releasing CLiT #6 on Friday, 26 January, 2001 .
We are - located at http://thepleasurezine.cjb.net
We are - reachable at clit@hobbiton.org
. We are - waiting to receive your email .
We are - unavailable for further comment at this time
You are - unable to steal our work - (C)opyright 2001 by CLiT .
You are - sick of this format .
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