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CLiT #4: The Holes In Your Rufus
.............................................................................
. .
. .the.pleasure.zine. .
. ____ __ _ _ ___ .
. ( _| >/ \ \ _) .
. \____)_____)_)_) .
. .
. ...episode 4... .
. .
. _The Holes In Your Rufus_ .
. .
. ...brought to you by plastic explosives, and the colour red... .
. .
. http://thepleasurezine.cjb.net | clit@hobbiton.org .
. .
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...: prologue :..............................................................
Aerialisticish keeps telling me that we can't be communists. I don't care
what he says - and to prove it, from here on in all staff members of CLiT
shall be referred to as 'Comrade', and this issue of CLiT is dedicated to my
current favourite band, the wonderful, talented and fantastic Australian
group, Augie March (www.augie-march.com).
ahh the power.
.............................................................................
^O scoop my brains and let my heart have action^
^In its thousand million lots.^
-Heartbeat and Sails-
.............................................................................
...: My muse is a sack of polystyrene crap :.................................
shared by
Comrade Aerialisticish
We're supposed to be the pleasure 'zine, right? Right. Well, what says
'pleasure' like beanbags?! Nothing!
Yeah there's always the pictures of hot bodies gesturing enticingly, but that
would have been a bit predictable.
If you look *through* the bodies, *behind* them you know what they're all
sitting on? Yep, b33nbags.
Just think of sitting there in a beanbag with your book, stereo, porno,
remote control or whatever.
Now think of how right I am. Hold that thought.
.............................................................................
^Are you lit from the inside, is that why your teeth are bright?^
-Tulip-
.............................................................................
...: a public apology :......................................................
shared by
Comrade AlterEcho
Asadersialle -> i'm sorry i mentioned your <CENSORED> in a public forum. i
hereby humbly and respectfully apologise to you, and promise to adhere to
your wish for me never to bring up the subject of your <CENSORED> again,
unless i have your explicit permission to do so.
.............................................................................
^You needed a song, I needed one too^
^So keep listening^
^FOR MY OFFER TO YOU^
^Take it with good grace and humour too.^
-The Offer-
.............................................................................
...: testing... :............................................................
shared by
Comrade Asadersialle
A pinch of aluminium powder, a dash of iron
place in an envelope for the victim to receive.
add a fuse,
mix ammonium, iodine crystals & anything else you care
let off by pressure or by air
the mixture explodes, with disastrous results...
death to the maker
.............................................................................
^There is no such place^
^If I lower mine to yours might you kiss me on the face?^
^But if you're looking for an unmarked place^
^There is no such place^
^Blasted in appearance and a composite of fearful minutes^
^Frozen in the waking instant^
-There is no such place-
...: an open letter :........................................................
shared by
Comrade AlterEcho
dear beautiful girl i saw at an augie march gig,
i'm sorry, i do not know your name. if i had style, class, and/or balls,
praps i would, but i don't - i'm just a pathetic, whiny frog, from outer
space. instead, i must refer to you with a vague, gross, generalisation that
does little to infer the desire i felt when i first caught sight of your
gorgeous round face, sexy little denim-clad buttocks, small, perky breasts,
and regal red hair, tied carelessly into a pony-tail. oh be still, my
diamond-hard love-rod. crawl back into your shell, unusually vigorous turtle.
you were with a guy, but he can't be your boyfriend, because he was scrawny
and ugly, and barely a man at all, whereas i am athletically slim (lithe
and agile, don't ya know - flexible too) and i am beautiful, even if it is
only in my own small way.
i desire to feel your firm thighs pressed against my head, as i taste your
womanly sweetness with my penetrating tongue.
i need to rub my hands all over your sensitive, naked body, rub, rub rub.
i want to grope your youthful body shamelessly, to violate your being, to
make you my bitch.
rub, rub.
give me a god damn blow job, ok?
you look 12, and i am almost 19, but i know that together, we can overcome
any age barriers.
lustfully yours,
AE
.............................................................................
^I was your good gardener, sing to bring on Spring^
^I know where your good grass grows^
^I know what your boyfriend knows^
^I was your good gardener.^
-The Good Gardener (On How He Fell)-
.............................................................................
...: Why Marx was a dickhead :...............................................
shared by
Comrade PipeScream
Anybody can be theoretical. Like, for example, I could say that if every
living thing in the world took a step at the exact same time, then the earth
would fall apart. Doesn't mean it's going to happen or is even likely to
happen.
Karl Marx wrote a load of bullcrap about how the world would be a much better
place if there was no money or government, and everybody did their bit.
Whatever.
Being human, he should have realised that there are very few people in power
that will ever give up power willingly. That Cuban guy will confirm it for
you.
He should have also realised that a system where the masses are left to their
own devices will fall apart sooner rather than later. What happened if
everybody decided to go to rave parties instead of mining coal? And the idea
of everybody being able to take what they needed without having to pay for
it? Well, it might be free beer, but what if I took all the beer? Who's going
to stop me? And perhaps I decide to throw a big dinner party for my dog, and
grab all the available food.
Of course, this is a description of "true" communism. The fake communism
today is worse. Go ask the cuban Guy.
"Always think before you become a communist"
.............................................................................
^What did the condemned say to the blessed when they met on^
^the path - "O you take the low road and I'll take the high^
^for a laugh (but if I'm laughing now it's because I've a gentle^
^heart)",^
^And because it was true^
^He slipped through the hole in the roof.^
-The Hole in Your Roof-
.............................................................................
...: some free advertising :.................................................
shared by
Comrade AlterEcho
. ,;;,
.. ,; ,;;,;::,;,
... ,;;, ;::;;;;;:, A u g i e M a r c h
.... ;;;' ;;;;;;;;,
...:..;;;; ';;;;;,' " S u n s e t S t u d i e s "
....:..:;;' /:'
....:...ll //
...... ll// ,.:nn., The Hole in Your Roof
......lV/ .dl' `':. Maroondah Reserve
..:....Y .l`/ . ..'^ There is No Such Place
........ .dP / , ,;' Tulip
...:... :l ,.:'^^l Tasman Awakes
..:.. .d..'^ .:^ Believe Me
.:. .'^. . p` Sunset Studies
..l^. . l' Men Who Follow Spring The Planet 'Round
r . . .: Angels of the Bowling Green
d . / l Heartbeat And Sails
l / / ./ The Offer
q. . l The Good Gardener (On How He Fell)
`\. l Here Comes The Night
\$ Asleep In Perfection
:| Owen's Lament
1|
.............................................................................
^A moment take, a moment, a moment...^
-Maroondah Reserve-
.............................................................................
...: sadness :...............................................................
just after the new year, Augie March band member Rob Dawson
was killed in a car accident. it's a sad world, sad and crazy.
R.I.P.
.............................................................................
^And if you have to go please go lightly^
^Keep it to a foxtrot whether he's a fox or not^
^Keep it cold, keep all your heat for me -^
^I'll be needing it for when I'm cold you see?^
-Owen's Lament-
.............................................................................
...: epilogue :..............................................................
buy augie march stuff. buy augie march stuff. buy augie march stuff. buy
augie march stuff. buy augie march stuff. buy augie march stuff.
oh and email us. please? we're so desperate for feedback, we welcome
hatemail! you hate us?? we fuckin' LOVE you!! and-
buy augie march stuff. buy augie march stuff. buy augie march stuff. buy
augie march stuff. buy augie march stuff. buy augie march stuff. bye-
...........................................................................AE
.
. .
. On .
. .
. 11.01.01 .
. .
. AlterEcho r.
. e.
. Aerialisticish d.
. n.
. Asadersialle u.
. n.
. and w.
. o.
. PipeScream D.
. .
. were found guilty of releasing e.
. d.
. CLiT #4: The Holes In Your Rufus a.
.M M.
.a a crime against humanity. .
.d .
.e They were given the choice of prison .
. .
.D or giving oral sex to John Howard .
.o .
.w their Prime Minister. .
.n .
.u Heh. .
.n .
.d VOTE LEFT! .
.e .
.r (C)opyright 2001 .
. .
. to .
. .
. CLiT .
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