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CLiT #3: Heh, And All That
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\ \ h y / /__|__ | / _Heh, And All That_ /
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## || the start || ##########################################################
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i'm sick. not hospital sick, or even doctor sick. i used to think how great
it would be if i got terminally ill and then people would come and visit me
in hopsital and be nice and stuff. but then i grew up, and realised no-one
would visit me. i'm not sick enough to miss work or just lie in front of the
tv all day, but i'm sick enough to fucking hate work and wish all the
customers would diedieDIEDIE.
but the show must go on.
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^who catches you when you're falling? can i be sonic too?^
-Leonardo's Bride-
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## || fonix? || #############################################################
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by
PipeScream
Can someone please explain why words such as "stuph" "phun" "phreak" or
"warez" are found today? Are phonics part of the 'net lamers code? Yeah, I
tend to use some, like "ur" when/if i go chatting. Note that "ur" is easier
to type than "you are". But count the letters in "phun". Now count the
letters in "fun". Now try typing them out on the keyboard. Droar ur own
conclushuns.
If you really insist on phonics (you learn a new word everyday, dont you?)
then tell me how this is pronounced: "ghotio". Do it and I'll personally give
you your Fonix Lysense, which is also widely recognised as the Lame-Brain
Certificate.
It might also be wise to get your keyboard checked. Do it _after_ you smell
the roses.
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^she's a dove, she's a fucking nightmare^
-Blink 182-
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## || My creative genius distilled. (why is it separating like that?) || ####
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by
Aerialisticish
Aerialisticish: Im feeling creative today - What a pity im not
Misc_Dude: Yeah
Aerialisticish: Maybe there's some inspiration lurking outside my room
*Aerialisticish wanders
Misc_Dude: huh?
Aerialisticish: Well how about that, eh? I was right, kinda
Misc_Dude: yeh whatever
Aerialisticish: How much does TV suck these days?
Aerialisticish: Its just terrible - and cable is even worse
Misc_Dude: Nah, its good
Aerialisticish: What's good? -exactly?
Misc_Dude: MiscSitcom
Aerialisticish: bah - the shit that holds my bricks together is funnier than
that
Aerialisticish: for real
Misc_Dude: wtf? you just dont get it
Aerialisticish: i do , i did , its been on before
Aerialisticish: possibly under a different name
Misc_Dude: bull
Aerialisticish: it mightve been funny then, i was 10
Misc_Dude: so?
Aerialisticish: how old are you?
Misc_Dude: Misc_(Number>10)
Aerialisticish: ha
Misc_Dude: everyone else likes it
Aerialisticish: lol
Misc_Dude: lol??
Aerialisticish: Why arent u watching it now?
Misc_Dude: its not on right now
Aerialisticish: aww that sucks
Misc_Dude: yeah
Aerialisticish: see?
Misc_Dude: im goin to go watch tv or somethin
Aerialisticish: yey
- Misc_Dude has left the room
Aerialisticish: ahh
Aerialisticish: Whether or not this actually happened depends on your
defenition of 'happened'.
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^i am the walrus, coo coo coo choo^
-The Beatles-
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## || lamers must die!!@# || ################################################
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by
AlterEcho
no, i'm not talking about me. shut up, you.
as far back as i remember, i've been an RPGer. couldn't get enough of 'em.
now, of course, the appeal of tabletop gaming has faded like a tired summer,
and computer gaming rules the roost. combined with the power of the internet,
role playing and fantasy games have soared to new heights, and new depths.
games such as utopia, archmage, dominion, and no doubt tens of other large
web-based fantasy games flourish, and i cannot deny their calling. competing
against other people is always fun and challenging. in other words, i enjoy
kicking ass. heh.
but in the past few months, i've noticed that those who dominate these games
aren't really people who i'd want to meet in real life. or if i did meet
them, i'd introduce my good friend, mr. fist, to mr. nose, and mr.
baseball-bat (don't forget the hyphen!) to mr. kneecap. the people that
dominate these games are, quite frankly, lamers. no doubt 13 year old white
american lamers too :) hehe
why can't all these people go and drown themselves? i know, i know, it's just
a smegging game. but i used to enjoy these games. i figure, if i play fair,
i'll prolly get treated fairly. ahh how i wish my innocent and and childish
naivity were a reality!! why does racism exist? why do banks callously rip
people off? why does manchester united always win??? but i digress.
it seems that lamers insist on infiltrating all the things that i enjoy
partaking in, online, and irl. hell, maybe i'm lamer magnet! why don't all
you losers sell your computers, donate the money to charity and get together
on some far away island and breed amongst yourselves?? ahh one day i will be
the ruler of the universe, and your time will come!! bwahahahahaha
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^when i am king you will be first against the wall^
-RADIOHEAD-
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## || WTF || ################################################################
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by
Asadersialle
wtf am i meant to be writting about, well, only god knows.
well these 2 lines will get my "name" into the zine again & stop the editor
annoying me.
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^i just wanna be a woman^
-Portishead-
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## || they call this art || #################################################
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/
Oh my god not DA BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZ | Duck Landing on a Lake, hehe
by | by
Aerialisticish | AlterEcho
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.: ' .` ''; \O/ | `':'.,`;";..^:,~`~
/ | m
/| | ,\ m
| .. \-~ ...
| /.:d&&&&&&&&&&&&%%b:;/
| `:/&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&\:
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^gonna kill!! your boyfriend!!^
-Gerling-
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## || the end || ############################################################
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yes that's right. it's all over. please, hold back your gasping, choked
sobs... it'll be okay, i promise.
peace.
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\M CLiT #3: Heh, And All That M/
/a was written, editted, and produced by a\
\d Aerialisticish d/
/e Asadersialle e\
\ PipeScream /
/D AlterEcho D\
\o o/
/w and was brought to you by w\
\n Us n/
/u u\
\n Asadersialle's hair done by n/
/d Aerialisticish d\
\e e/
/r http://thepleasurezine.cjb.net | clit@hobbiton.org r\
\ /
/Copyright 2001 by CLiT 10.10.80 desaeleR\
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