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CLiT #1: Please Eat My Ass
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...episode one...
_Please Eat My Ass_
...brought to you by the letter A...
---- [ TOC ] ----------------------------------------------------------------
+{Piece}+ +{Writer}+ +{Suggested Reading Time}+
intro AlterEcho 2 seconds
train ride AlterEcho 1.5 seconds
my favourite things Aerialisticish 11 seconds
ascii art, my thoughts AlterEcho 6.5 seconds
looking for sympathy? Aerialisticish 15 seconds
phun acronyms Aerialisticish / AlterEcho 21 seconds
train ride (extended) AlterEcho 1.75 seconds
that's all, folks! AlterEcho 0.75 seconds
---- [ intro ] --------------------------------------------------------------
another e-zine hits the web, and i hear the groans all the way from the USA.
that's right, we might be lame, but we're the lamest dinky-di aussies whose
zine you ever read. we're so user friendly, we've given you suggested reading
times, and the whole file takes less than a minute to read! like, w0w!!
so anyway. we're CLiT, we're new, we're hip, we're raw, and we'll be dead
soon. huzzah.
---- [ train ride ] ---------------------------------------------------------
by
AlterEcho
i was on the train today
and i saw a dero at ascot vale station
---- [ my favourite things ] ------------------------------------------------
by
Aerialisticish
shotguns and magnums and some other handguns
M4s and AKs and some of those flashbangs
cans of jolt cola that have safety pins
these are a few of my favourite things
XM 1014s and FNP90s
rifles that leave u open for a knifing
double berettas but not for CTs
these are a few of my favourite things
---- [ ascii art, my thoughts ] ---------------------------------------------
i know what you're thinking already: who gives a toss what this guy thinks?
hell, even i don't care what i think... but it sure fills up space.
so anyway, i was checking out scene.textfiles.org and i was browsing some of
the links... and there was a small section on ascii art and the art scene,
and since i couldn't be bothered reading (so much effort!) i decided i would
just look at some pretty pictures instead. and since my mum was in the room,
i didn't look up any porn, but checked out a bit of ascii art...
i decided it's pretty cool, except that i can't really tell what some of the
logos say, but that's prolly just me... i decided to have a crack at a CLiT
logo, and i'm pretty happy with how it looks. it's not orgasmic, but it'll
do. it's sure better than the first one i made, which i will paste here for
prosterity and general humour factor.
cccccc ll iii ttt ooooo rr rrr iii ssss
cccccccc lll iii ttt ooooooo rr r r iii ssssss + oh
ccc lll ttttttt ooo ooo rrr ss
ccc lll iii ttt oo oo rr iii ssssss + yeah
ccc lll l iii ttt ooo ooo rr iii ss
cccccccc lllll l iii i ttt t ooooooo rr iii i ssssss + baby
cccccc lllll iii ttt ooooo rr iii ssss
so, um, like yeah. i think i might look into this whole ascii art stuff
sometime. yet another thing to add to my list of things to do...
_ _ _____ _
_/ |_| | __ | | | \
|_ _\ |__ /_ \ | __|_ __ __| |
| | | _ \ ___| | __| \| |/ _ |
| |_| | \ \_/ | | | _ | |_| | heh
\__/|_| |_|__/ \_____|__||_|\____/
---- [ looking for sympathy? ] ----------------------------------------------
To: xxx@xxxxxxx.xxx
Well this girl is obviously just an insignifigant fleck of dust in this world
and you are poorer for having known her. Tell everyone and sell the video
adaptions for $27.95 a piece. Hey , i'd buy it!
If she cant stand up to her father and shoot his balls off with a stylish new
FN shotgun, she doesnt deserve to live. When i was your age i shot my father
at least twice a week and look at me now. I also hold you in contempt for
having had to ask this pathetic question.
Your one chance for redemption is to shoot both of these people and then
yourself, or i'll do it for you.
Now go away my burritos are getting cold.
---- [ phun acronyms ] ------------------------------------------------------
ok. so CLiT is a cool name... but wtf does it mean??
Cool Losers iN Trousers
Commie Lackeys invadE Text
Cunt Lick idioT Twit
Crazy Llamas insidE Tents
Conservative Lumberjacks intO Typing
Columbian Lesbians infiltratE Turkey
Creative Linguists innocculatE Typwriters
Clitoris Licking imbecileS, The
Culturually Lacking internaL Textfiles
Craving Lame informatioN Technology
Caressing Lucy, ingriD, Tracy
Culminating Literature iN Textfiles
Get it? Got it? Good.
---- [ train ride (extended) ] ----------------------------------------------
by
AlterEcho
i was on the train today
and i saw a dero at ascot vale station
i bet she smelled bad
---- [ that's all, folks! ] -------------------------------------------------
i guess that's it for now. more crazy hijinx later i guess... remember to
take your chill pills.
---- [ EOF ] -------------------- released 31.12.00 -----------------------AE
