The Groom Lake Desert Rat: Issue 26

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The Groom Lake Desert Rat

 · 10 months ago

Issue #26. May 21, 1995

In this issue...

• Research Center Expands
• New Mexico Field Trip
• Fiction Meets Reality
• Even The Dirt Is Classified
• News From Lower Rachel
• St. Paul Conference
• Ambassador Merlin Faces Opposition
• Area 51 Nightclub Coming To Vegas
• A Disturbing Prophesy
• Intel Bitties

Research Center Expands

The closure of Freedom Ridge [DR#25] has prompted a reorganization of the Area 51 Research Center designed to increase efficiency and better serve the public. The most significant of these changes is the opening of a new branch office in Las Vegas. Rachel Area Director Glenn Campbell, in recognition of his tireless efforts on behalf of government accountability, has been promoted to Regional Director and will man the new facility part-time. The Rachel headquarters will continue to serve as administrative center manned by our able local staff, but the Las Vegas office will take over most operational tasks.The advantages of a location in the Heart of Neon are abundant: access to cheap communications, public libraries, a well-connected airport, fresh produce, video rentals, all-you-can-eat buffets and 24-hour Wal-Marts. The mental health of our Regional Director was also an issue. After two and a half years living exclusively in Rachel--150 miles from the nearest Seven-Eleven--Mr. Campbell was bouncing off the walls and had to be sedated all too frequently. While in Las Vegas, Campbell will be out of reach of drunk bar owners and hillbilly sheriffs and does not have to go to bed every night with an escape route in mind. Much as we love to hate Las Vegas [DR#11], this city is unquestionably the cultural center of modern human civilization as we know it. It also offers the possibility of decent pizza delivered fresh within 30 minutes.

Our new facility is an apartment in a modern complex aptly named The Oasis. It is an island in a sea of neon, only one block away from the crossroads of the "new" Las Vegas: Tropicana Ave. and the Strip. The hotels here are the largest and silliest in the world. On one corner of this junction is a tropical resort; on another is a Wizard of Oz theme park; on the third corner is a fairytale castle next to a full-scale Egyptian pyramid. The fourth corner is vacant now but will soon contain a casino reproduction of New York City.

By coincidence, our new office happens to overlook yet another fantasy attraction: the secret "Janet" terminal in the northwest corner of McCarran Airport where most workers at Groom Lake and Tonopah Test Range leave their cars and fly to work aboard unmarked 737s. The parking lot is only about 100 yards from our window across a narrow vacant lot. Area 51 may not officially exist, but we now have the power to track and identify nearly everyone who works there. It is a power we have no plans to use, however, because we feel that the privacy of individual workers should be protected. We hope that our presence alone may encourage more openness on a voluntary basis.

No car coming in or out of the compound escapes our view, and we can clearly see the workers getting on and off the planes. If we cared to, we could record every license plate and photograph every face. Through our best optics we can almost read the ID cards flashed to the guard at the gate upon entry. The workers seem like ordinary folk who might be employed in any high-tech factory. They are always in civilian clothes, but they may carry a briefcase or sports bag. Cars range from high-end luxury models to low-brow beaters. Judging from the relative emptiness of the parking lot at night, most workers come and go on the same day for a regular eight-hour shift, Monday through Friday, with only a skeleton force staying for the night or weekend. Although identical 737s serve the two different bases, it is pretty easy to tell which workers are going to Groom Lake from the timing of their arrival at the parking lot to coincide with those flights. The Cammo Dudes are easy to spot, too, because those are the beefy ones, paid to work out.

Of course, the surveillance can work both ways. Being across the street from a government facility makes it a lot easier for THEM to keep an eye on US. This doesn't bother us much, since we are an open entity without many secrets.

It will be interesting to see what happens next. The NSA headquarters at Ft. Meade, Maryland [DR#8] faced a similar problem when Soviet spies took up residence in a motel next door. The NSA simply bought the property and absorbed it into its complex. (The motel later became the NSA public museum, which we lost our film for photographing.) Likewise, the government could purchase the Oasis Apartments, but that wouldn't make much sense unless they also purchased the major hotels that overlook the terminal: the Tropicana, Excalibur, Luxor, San Remo, Hacienda and MGM Grand. Four or five billion dollars ought to cover it. A less expensive alternative would be to abandon the Janet terminal and move the operation to Nellis AFB, at great inconvenience to workers.

On a more personal level, the government could initiate another nuisance legal action against one of our members, like Campbell's obstruction charge which is now in appeal. Even if baseless, such actions could keep us occupied for a while. Alas, this might also encourage some of our more disruptive colleagues to be a lot less discreet with the data that passes by our window every day. A yearbook of Cammo Dudes, with their photos and addresses posted to the World Wide Web, would seem inevitable. (If the secret agencies place our people in jeopardy, the same could happen to theirs.)

[Later complaint by neighbor]

Several of the legendary Groom Lake Interceptors, including Agent X, The Minister and Tom & Jeri were on hand for the ribbon cutting ceremonies at our new facility. Of course, we have a network news crew at all of our functions, and CBS Sunday Morning was the first to visit our new Las Vegas annex. Their report is tentatively scheduled to air this Sunday morning, May 28, on all CBS stations. [Followup in DR#27]

The visit by the CBS crew, who appeared on our balcony with their big Betacam, provoked the first signs of recognition from the folks across the street. One of the remote controlled cameras on the roof of the secret terminal swung around to look directly at us. A security dude drove up to the vacant lot beside us, got out of his vehicle, put his hands on his hips and shook his head. We could almost hear the local management saying, "Oh, shit," and issuing a flurry of memos all the way to the Pentagon.

The Rachel headquarters will continue to be open to the public (usually on weekends and weekday mornings), while the Las Vegas annex will generally be closed to the public except by prior arrangement (since this is the place where we try to get things done).

Who Owns The Janet Terminal?

The "Janet" jets are Boeing 737s with tail numbers but no insignia [DR#15] that transport the majority of workers to Groom and Tonopah. "Janet" followed by a flight number is the name used on FAA frequencies. There has been a lot of speculation about what "Janet" might mean, but we have no concrete data.For the past few years, the red-striped jets and the seven-pad terminal at 5400 Haven Ave. have been operated for the government by the private contractor EG&G. In DR#15, we reported rumors that the Air Force itself was taking over the day-to-day operation of these flights, but recent information now suggests that the changeover never happened. Supposedly, the Air Force was ready to take it over; a date was set, but when the day came the EG & G management somehow remained in place. Meanwhile, the ownership of the jets themselves has been gradually transferred from various holding companies to direct Air Force ownership registered at Hill AFB in Clearfield, Utah.

Here's how to find the top secret terminal: From the giant lion's head at the Emerald City, turn south at the fairytale castle and Easter Island monoliths, go past the full-size Sphinx and Egyptian pyramid; turn left at the Happi Inn, go down two blocks, and there it is: the entrance to "Dreamland."

Guide To Our World

The Las Vegas annex is within a two-block radius of five (5) all- you-can-eat buffets, which we partake of frequently. Our capsule reviews...

• Luxor: Superior food in a spectacular setting.
• Hacienda: Sucks. Don't go.
• Excalibur: A crowded feeding trough. Avoid it.
• MGM: Mediocre and way overpriced.
• San Remo: Very nice. Small buffet in classy surroundings.

For entertainment, the Luxor is a "must see." The pyramid is hollow and contains a city inside. Don't miss the motion sickness ride (Episode 1) and the big screen extravaganza (Episode 3). You can skip the TV talk show (Episode 2) and the boat ride on the indoor Nile. [We'll have an in-depth review of Luxor in a future Rat.]

The MGM casino and theme park, centered on the Wizard of Oz theme, is a major dud in our opinion, designed by corporate Munchkins with no real imagination. Notable only as the largest hotel in the world--5005 rooms--the MGM requires a one-half mile walk, mostly past slot machines, from one end of the complex to the other. The theme park is a pale miniature of Disney. The rides are the saddest we have experienced, but at least entry to the park itself is now free.

New York casino

Now under construction is "New York, New York," a theme casino reproducing an idealized Manhattan skyline, including Statue of Liberty and Coney Island roller coaster. It will be unrealistically sanitized, no doubt, with no smell of urine on the sidewalks. Under construction at the MGM is a monorail connecting that hotel with Bally's a few blocks north on the Strip. There, a casino reproduction of Paris is planned: half-size Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe, snooty waiters, etc.We keep predicting that the whole house of cards will soon collapse and that Las Vegas will finally suffer the tragic bust it justly deserves. No sign of it yet, however. For now, the maxim is, "Build it, and they will come."

New Mexico Field Trip

We've just come back from a two-week pilgrimage to New Mexico. Highlights of our journey...-- A tour of the Very Large Array radio telescope on the Plains of San Augustin, courtesy of one of our subscribers who works there. This is an impressive line-up of 27 big mobile dishes which work together as one giant receiver listening to the cosmos. It is the backdrop for many car commercials, and it will soon be a filming location for the big-budget movie Contact. (The story concerns earth's first contact with extraterrestrials, based on the novel written by Carl Sagan before he became an "Arschloch.") Anyone can take a walking tour on the ground, but our contact took us up into one of the dishes, a 25-meter bowl that would be ideal for skateboarding when in the upright position. The VLA claims to do no secret work, only pure science, but we know better. Those same dishes receiving microwaves from the stars could also be used to transmit secret messages to invading aliens. As we toured the facility, we were on the lookout for any clues that might give away the real project. Behind big steel doors was the Brain Room, where all the signals from the dishes converged. Inside this air conditioned, heavily shielded chamber, we saw a lot of blinking lights on consoles and smelled a mysterious odor that immediately put us on alert. It was--sniff, sniff--Szechwan! Our search of the Brain Room revealed no source, but later in the tour we did notice that the array controller in another part of the building was cooking a stir-fry lunch. We left the VLA with none of our suspicions allayed but still no solid proof.

[Official VLA Home Page*] The Plains of San Augustin, west of Socorro, also happen to be the site of an alleged flying saucer crash. If you believe a certain Roswell scenario, a second craft came down here on the same night in July 1947.

-- A visit to Los Alamos, site of Lazar's prior employment--as physicist or gopher--and the probable quarantine location for the "Boys" in Jarod's story [DR#24]. Los Alamos National Laboratories is a fascinating "island in the sky," built on high, finger-shaped mesas overlooking the Rio Grande. It was founded for the Manhattan project during WWII and was once a secret "nonexistent" city similar to Groom. Now, it is quite accessible and not the sort of place you could land a UFO or keep anything secret outdoors. The city of Los Alamos was once the central area of the laboratory, but most of that land is now private businesses and residences. It seems like a cross between a small college town and wealthy resort community. Houses cover the mesas to the east of the town center, and the most desirable homes are perched on cliffs overlooking the valley. (By contrast, Bob Lazar's former residence is very humble.) The laboratory covers the mesas to the west. Unlike a military base, the main roads of the reservation are open to the public, with only individual compounds restricted. The security around some complexes is impressive--triple concertina wire and video cameras everywhere--but the handling of nuclear materials could easily account for most of it.

[Official Los Alamos Home Page*]

-- A drop-in at the International UFO Museum in Roswell, occupying a storefront on Main Street. We are, after all, a "Participating Founder" of that institution (or was it "Founding Participant"?) having paid good money for the distinction. We also stopped by the competing institution, the Outa Limits UFO Museum near the airport. Relations between the two seem distant, but things certainly haven't degenerated to the state in Rachel.

-- A brief visit to Midway, an unincorporated village about 9 miles southeast of Roswell and within view of the former Roswell Army Airfield. Here is the site of the Midway Sightings mentioned by Jarod 2 [DR#24]. Ambiguous objects videotaped here have made their way onto the tabloid shows: Hard Copy, Sightings, etc. Some objects are blurred "rods" moving rapidly across the frame; others are "beads" hanging in the sky. No skeptic would be convinced, but the tapes remain intriguing to us. There are clearly a lot of different phenomena here, with many possible explanations. Some could be insects flying close to the camera but seeming to be far away; other objects could be airplanes or weather balloons blurred by the limited resolution of the consumer video camera. At least one scene leaves us without an obvious explanation: A bead hangs in the sky for a while then vanishes, replaced by a long white vortex stretching from the ground to high in the sky.

The Midway Sightings seem to be largely dismissed by the UFO "establishment" in Roswell, which makes them all the more attractive to us. The Midway UFO Museum is on the west side of Highway 2 between Roswell and Dexter, across from the Midway Church. This humble roadside attraction makes the Little A'Le'Inn look palatial. It is a faux Western town, never quite completed, that was restored to life by the Midway Sightings and the publicity that ensued. In one building is the darkened viewing room, where the proprietors showed us some of their video tapes. In another building is a museum under construction and a gift shop full of merchandise imprinted with the Midway Sightings logo. As usual, the possible profit motive and other icky human impulses greatly complicate the problem of evaluation. Nonetheless, we regard the people we met--Becky and Manual Escamilla--as genuine. They believe that what they have captured on tape is extraterrestrial, and we do not think they are engaged in any deliberate fakery.

Alas, there is always a giant gulf between seeing an ambiguous object in the sky and being able to draw any useful conclusions. At best, further analysis of the video might prove what the objects are NOT, but it won't prove what they are. The only thing we can do is turn the story over to Robert Stack so he can say, "It's an unsolved mystery."

-- At the Roswell municipal airport, formerly the famous air base where dead aliens may or may not have been processed, we met up with military monitor Steve Douglass, editor of Intercepts Newsletter. His is a profile that is hard to miss: a big guy with a Radio Shack scanner surgically attached to his left hand. He was, of course, monitoring all of the radio traffic in the nearby area, which lead to an interesting interception....

The Roswell airport, although now a civilian facility, was hosting a team of Bad Guys in the big Roving Sands war game exercise. The military presence at the airport was huge, with countless jets, humvees, tanker trucks and radar vans on site. At the time we arrived, a number of military aircraft were on public display during a lull in the exercise. There were a couple hundred civilians wandering among the hardware in a cordoned-off area of the tarmac, watched by military security along the perimeter. We arrived first at about 4:00pm, located Steve among the jets, then quickly left again to run an errand. We returned to the air show again at 5:00 pm, and as soon as we did, Steve heard this crystal clear radio transmission from the security dudes:

"Psychospy's Back."

These 2.5 words are rich with implications. We told no one we were coming to Roswell except in private telephone conversions. When we arrived at the airport in both instances, we were in a crowd of civilians. The dudes could have identified us by running our plates, but this certainly isn't routine for visitors to an air show. Of course, certain of our membership has previously appeared on television, but we don't regard our appearance in a crowd to be yet distinctive enough to allow a positive identification. Furthermore, the name "Psychospy" has never been mentioned on television, only in print, so it hasn't been linked to a face.

In short, it seems highly unlikely that the security dudes would have been able to get a positive lock on Psychospy in such a short time without some warning that we were coming to Roswell. This, in turn, seems to imply concerted surveillance of some kind. We are flattered by the attention but also curious as to what the mode of surveillance might be. We have no problem with our "friends" keeping an eye on us, as we do for them, as long as they obey the law.

Fiction Meets Reality

The military boundaries surrounding Freedom Ridge and White Sides remain poorly marked. The Air Force has erected only orange posts, widely spaced, that are ambiguous to outsiders and invisible at night. We find these plainly insufficient to warn people off, so with notice to BLM we parked our old camper beside the Groom Lake road with some warning signs attached to the windows. Already, one party arriving at night overlooked the camper and attempted the Freedom Ridge hike. They suffered the usual brutal treatment by the Cammo Dudes--down on their knees, hands over their heads for an hour. They were cited by the Sheriff and given the usual $600 fine, no leniency. Naturally, this pisses us off.Another party that visited later did see our camper and was saved as a result. This was a prominent television actor visiting the area with his son. If our signs had not been there, they would have tried the hike, crossed the new border and suffered the usual rough detention and arrest. That would have been a pretty pickle for the Cammo Dudes. It so happens this actor is known for his role in the series L.A. Law, and his was the same character who Campbell tried to emulate at his obstruction trial. It would make an interesting situation: Famous actor crosses line and generates immediate headlines. Lincoln County District Attorney Tom Dill, being totally brainless on matters like this, would have pressed charges regardless, and the actor would be faced with the choice of taking the fine or pleading Not Guilty and sticking up for his rights. On the small screen, this actor portrays a lawyer who always stands for Truth, Justice and the American Way. Would he plead or go to trial? If he went to trial, he would probably bring a competent lawyer, and the case would make it into tabloids everywhere. It would mean still more publicity for the secret base and another black eye for the Air Force and county law enforcement, who seem to never learn a lesson.

Sooner or later, we will have to remove our camper from its parking place. Then there will be no warning before Freedom Ridge, and visitors with outdated information are going to start flooding across the border for the usual unpleasant reception. The anonymous Dudes who intercept the intruders will not identify themselves, so the suspects will never have the opportunity to face their accusers in court--a fundamental Constitutional right. This is when we would be morally and ethically obligated to publish our Big Book of Cammo Dudes, including photographs, license plate numbers and home addresses of each of the security officers who patrol the border and adjoining public lands. (It would be easy to put together: Just compare our photos of Dudes from the border with those leaving the gate.) The defendants (and anyone else) can then browse through this document to identify those who accosted them.

We'd really hate to publish the identities of the Cammo Dudes; it's SO disruptive, but the Air Force would leave us no choice. All they have to do to avoid this painful circumstance is post adequate signs at logical places where naive tourists might cross. Away from roads--which are already clearly marked where they cross the border--we know of only two significant problem areas: One is the former trail to Freedom Ridge, where a tourist with old information could easily cross the new posts. The other danger zone is where the Groom Lake Road crosses the original border, which hasn't changed. Here, the Restricted Area signs on either side suggest a boundary that is perpendicular to the road, when the real line runs diagonal to it. Since outsiders are unlikely to notice the orange posts, especially at night, more signs are needed a few feet on either side to indicate the border's orientation.

We expect the Air Force to do more than the minimum required by Nevada law, which is to place orange posts every 200 feet. We expect them to take every reasonable and intelligent precaution to prevent average tourists from crossing the line. If they don't, and an innocent visitor is nabbed as a result, our great Cammo Dude tome will promptly follow.

Even The Dirt Is Classified

According to a May 5 article in the Las-Vegas Review-Journal, the judge in the Groom hazardous waste lawsuit has allowed the case to proceed without requiring the Air Force to provide a name for the Area 51 facility. It will be identified in legal documents only as "an operating location near Groom Lake."

[Secretary of the Air Force Sheila] Widnall, in an unclassified declaration, said that the classified information, if released, "could reasonably be expected to cause exceptionally grave damage to national security."The base has no actual operating name per se, Widnall stated. But she told Pro that revealing the program names would compromise base missions, military operations, intelligence sources, technological matters, contracting relationships and "security sensitive environmental data."

"Collection of information regarding the air, water and soil is a classic foreign intelligence practice because analysis of these samples can result in the identification of military operations and capabilities," Widnall argued.

She said the presence or absence of certain chemicals could reveal classified operations and that disclosure "increases the risk to the lives of United States personnel and decreases the probability of successful mission accomplishments."

So even the dirt is classified at Groom Lake. That is convenient for the Air Force, because the best way to prove whether or not illegal dumping took place there is to drill a core sample at the alleged site. Widnall seems to be saying that no environmental monitoring will be tolerated at Area 51 unless the results are classified and controlled by the Air Force.We wonder which of our potential enemies is sophisticated enough to deduce our secrets from our air, water and soil and use that knowledge against us in war. The Soviets might have been interested back when we were engaged in a race for advanced materials, but who can compete with us on those grounds now?

Sounds like a lame excuse to us, and we don't see why the government doesn't just settle the suit anyway. We can tell from Widnall's response that Area 51 is going to be in the news for a long, long time, and the growing band of Groom Lake Interceptors will continue to be energized by the moral righteousness of their inquiry. Is this any way to run a secret base?

News From Lower Rachel

Chuckie's Handbook Available

The Little A'Le'Inn's resident UFO expert Chuck Clark--Rachel's own "Forrest Gump" but without the charm--has finally published his Area 51 & S-4 Handbook (aka his rip-off of Glenn Campbell's Area 51 Viewer's Guide). We've glanced though a copy but haven't yet read it, so we can't pass judgment on its content. It sure looks like the Viewer's Guide, though. Same blue spiral binding and clear cover, same price, similar chapter headings, same hand-written copy number in the corner of the cover. (A friend of ours has Copy #1; we tried to buy it from him for an enormous sum, but he won't sell.) On a positive note, we can report that Clark's book is more compact: 58 pages in big print compared to Campbell's 115 densely packed pages. The fewer pages, bigger type and larger photos may be helpful to adults with poor eyesight or children who are learning to read. There are, however, no signs of the color photos promised by Pat Travis [DR#24].Clark's book does have something significant that Campbell's lacks: Actual photos of UFOs taken at the Black Mailbox. There is at least one full-page shot of Kathleen Ford's "Space Bubbles," taken with a special camera at the rancher's mailbox 20 miles east of town. Kathleen is the truest of the True Believers, and many of her UFO photos adorn the walls of the Inn. She has taken some great pictures of magnesium flares suspended over the Nellis bombing ranges, but lately she has been focusing on the Space Bubbles, which are much more spiritual. She makes the pilgrimage from Las Vegas to the Black Mailbox on Wednesday nights when there is no moon. The Space Bubbles are peculiar in that they show up only on film when Kathleen takes a flash photo pointed toward the Restricted Zone with her special camera. Because of their ghostly nature, people can't see the bubbles directly, and they won't perform for any camera except the special one. It may seem senseless to take a flash picture of the night sky, but it does provide reference points for size and position by highlighting Joshua trees and other ground objects at the bottom of the frame.

Kathleen once came to our Research Center to show us her full album of Space Bubbles. She pointed out how each bubble had identical structure, like a faint moon that is three quarters full and about one eighth the width of the frame. She tried to show us the door of this alien craft, but we couldn't quite see it. We reviewed her work, then politely suggested that these objects were in fact internal lens reflections of the brightly lit Joshua trees at the bottom of the frame. We offered the theory that the bubbles showed up in these pictures and not those taken during the day only because the dark background allowed them to be seen. Before we could finish, Kathleen closed her album and stormed out of our facility, saying she would show her pictures only to people who were more open-minded.

And so she found Chuck. They have formed an alliance, the exact nature of which we have not yet determined. At Las Vegas UFO meetings, where she sometimes shows up with Chuckie in tow, Kathleen has denounced us as the vilest form of government agent, a charge we have never denied.

As the Groom Lake "newspaper of record," it is our responsibility to provide ordering information for Chuckie's book. It can be obtained by sending a check for $15 plus $3 shipping to Chuck Clark, HCR Box 43, Rachel, NV 89001. (We have no legal objection to the book, but we will NOT provide ordering info for Chuck's cheapo rip-off Area 51 patch [photo in DR#23], since it is an obvious violation of the Campbell/Goodall copyright.) Alas, Chuckie got rudely flamed when he announced his book on the newsgroups, including a stern essay on integrity by Agent X. Chuckie came out of his shell to reply to X directly...

Sorry you're so intimidated by a little healthy competition - obviously, you and your lover, Glenn, are not going to be pleased by upcoming events that are currently in the works. You've made a healthy business for yourselves, but now it's time for you to share the stage with other viewpoints and products.You knock my credibility - but just how good do you think you look leaving petty tirades like the one of May 3, 1995 on the Internet? I certainly won't belittle myself to respond publicly to such immature drivel.

When are all of the play names like Agent X, Container X, Shadowhawk, etc. going to cease? Both you and Glenn are like a couple of 10 year olds playing war - with all the self-glorifying (in your minds) titles.

Get your facts STRAIGHT before you run off at the keyboard --- you haven't yet!

Is that sexual innuendo we detect in the first paragraph? Both Campbell and his lover X, secure in each other's arms, eagerly await those "upcoming events" whatever they may be.We do admit that all the secret code names are hard to keep track of. Perhaps we can someday publish a glossary, but the definitions are classified for now. We can at least provide this partial list of code names, each corresponding to discrete human entities: Psychospy, Agent X, The Minister of Words, The Great One, Spy One, Shadowhawk, Tom & Jeri, The Cops, The Good Merlin (not to be confused with the Evil Ambassador) and The Swiss Mountain Bat. ("Container X" is the email address for Agent X, the latter being already taken on AOL.)

Since being so harshly treated in the newsgroups, Chuckie has been reluctant to show his face publicly on the net. He now sells his photos of the Groom base through a front: Martha George in Las Vegas. Advertisements by Martha (area51pics@aol.com) on the newsgroups gave no hint that it is Chuckie's photos she was selling, but the ruse was pretty easy to figure out. The $15 price sounds okay, but we haven't seen the pictures.

If you would like to get in touch with Chuck Clark, to compliment him on his work or to form a strategic alliance, do drop him a line via clarkmon@aol.com.

[Follow-up exchange on alt.conspiracy.area51: Clark responds > X answers > cruel Psychospy retort > more from X > reader support for Campbell]

"Friendship Camp-Out" At Inn

In its never-ending effort to exploit the UFO market, the Little A'Le'Inn will be sponsoring another ironically named "UFO Friendship Camp-Out" in Rachel this coming weekend, May 27-29, 1995. Kathleen Ford will be speaking, as well as a couple who were abducted by an alien named Quaylar at Milepoint 26.1 about two years ago. According to the flyer for the event, there will be three other speakers, at least one of whom didn't know he was speaking until he got the mailing. This a common technique on the UFO conference circuit: listing as a confirmed speaker respected figures who have merely been invited and haven't had a chance to decline. These speakers rarely turn up at the event, but in the meantime their good name has been used to sell tickets.For this conference, the Inn has doubled their previous entry fee to $100 per person. Perhaps because of their recent publicity on Larry King and elsewhere, the Travis's feel they can get that much, but it is still a lot to pay for a tiny gathering in the middle o' nowhere with no prominent speakers. (For the same price, you could go to a big-time UFO loonfest in Vegas or L.A. and see Sean Morton.) The $100 fee includes buffet meals, entrance to the Big Top for however many speakers show up and the right to set up your own tent in a vacant lot across from the Inn that the landowner doesn't know is being used for this purpose.

For tickets or more information, contact the Inn at 702-729-2515. However, if your interest in the event is merely anthropological, we note that security has never been tight at these functions-- usually just Chuckie sitting near the army tent collecting tickets. Although we do not approach this area personally out of fear for our life, our friends have never had any trouble crashing these parties. If you happen to drop by the restaurant while the event is going on, the buffet is usually about $5, and after that you can probably sneak into the tent when Chuckie lets down his guard. Our mobile-home Research Center at the other end of town will be open that weekend, and visitors are welcome to stop by free of charge.

Regardless of which speakers show up, you can expect a heapin' helpin' of the New World Order/One World Government/BATF/UN conspiracy we have heard so much of since the Oklahoma City bombing. That's the Inn's specialty. According to the plot, the Feds and United Nations are trying to take away our guns; this is why we have to stockpile as many of them as we can while they are still legal. Then, when the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms comes to kill us like they did in Waco, we'll take out plenty of them before they get us. On second thought, maybe we should take out them first.

But what we want to emphasize is the "Friendship" part of the camp-out. Everyone should have a good time.

St. Paul Conference

The only UFO conference endorsed by the Area 51 Research Center is the one sponsored by the Science Museum of Minnesota this coming October. It is called "The Science and Politics of UFO Research." It will focus on scientific methods, and there will be no channeling or past-life regressions. We were impressed with last year's conference. Apart from an appearance by Dr. John Mack, who seems little concerned with physical realities, we found the speakers entirely sane and thoughtful. We made a lot of good contacts there and encountered some interesting ideas, most notably those of James McCampbell, who studies the physical effects of UFOs like sounds and microwave emissions.Our Regional Director Glenn Campbell will be speaking at the conference this year, along with Dr. Bruce Maccabee, Jeffrey Sainio, Dr. Richard Haines and others. The two-day conference takes place on the weekend of Oct. 28-29, 1995, at the Radisson Hotel in downtown St. Paul. The fee is about $100; this includes no buffets or tenting rights, but we still regard it as a worthwhile investment. For a brochure, email penson@geom.umn.edu, or call the Science Museum of Minnesota at (612) 221-4742.

Ambassador Merlin Faces Opposition

Regional Director Campbell, who is still officially a Rachel resident, has voiced his opposition to the "Alien Highway" bill now pending before the Nevada Legislature. The bill would designate State Route 375, the public highway through Rachel and closest to Area 51, as the "Extra Terrestrial Alien Highway." Signs to that effect would be posted on the road, but Campbell notes that they would probably be stolen by tourists like the Air Force road sensors [DR#17]. In written testimony submitted to the Legislature's Committee on Economic Development and Tourism for a May 19 hearing [See alt.conspiracy.area51], Campbell said that only a single business was in a position to benefit from this bill, the Little A'Le'Inn in Rachel. Campbell argued that giving the Inn additional free publicity would promote their extreme political views and further disrupt the balance of power in this tiny community. Campbell also said that making this remote highway more "tourist friendly" would encourage the very naive visitors, up for the day from Vegas, who were bound to cross the line or otherwise get themselves in trouble.The strongest proponent of the bill is Ambassador Merlyn Merlin II from the planet Draconis [DR#2], who currently resides in human form in northern Nevada. On behalf of this bill, he has been actively lobbying the Legislature with single-minded intensity. The sourpuss Campbell writes....

Although this bill is sponsored by Assembly members, there is another citizen who feels that this is "his" bill. The Ambassador Merlyn Merlin II of the Saucerian Embassy of Christ probably sits before you at this hearing. Ambassador Merlin believes he is an extraterrestrial who has been sent to this planet to prepare us for the coming alien arrival. While I cannot pass judgment on Merlin's claims, I can attest to the fact that he makes a very poor ambassador. Merlin has no understanding of the privacy or private property of others. He latches onto people who he believes are 'chosen' and he won't leave them alone. A number of citizens in Lincoln County and elsewhere in Nevada have felt that Merlin was stalking them. Some believe that Merlin is not an alien at all but that he is in fact a human with some profound personal problems. If this true, then passage of this bill encourages him in his delusion. He will forever be claiming that he pushed this bill through the legislature, and he will take it as proof of his legitimacy.A couple of years ago, Merlin invited Secretary of State Cheryl Lau to a meeting in California. Ms. Lau wrote Merlin a letter politely declining, but she made the mistake of addressing him by his chosen title of "Ambassador." Since then, Merlin has been showing the letter to people as "proof" that the State of Nevada officially recognizes his ambassadorial status. Passage of this bill, which he has been promoting, can only provide further affirmation and encourage his continued intrusive behavior.

Among Merlin's regular haunts are some of Nevada's fine legal brothels. He only sits at the bar, however; he does not partake of the merchandise. An alien ambassador, he explains, "does not spill his seminal liquor." Nonetheless, Merlin is prepared to imbue women with his sexual energy, which he says has healing power. It is unclear how he does this without spilling any liquor, but evidently he has been trained. Some women must go for this, because we got a call once from one of the working ladies at an establishment up north who had taken a shine to Merlin and wanted his phone number.Among Merlin's involuntary "chosen ones" are Psychospy, Jarod 2 and Lincoln County Commissioner Eve "Mad as Hell" Culverwell (one of the few local politicians we respect [DR#2]). The latter first met the Ambassador when she was visiting the Little A'Le'Inn with Agent X during a previous UFO loonfest. Merlin stared at her intensely from across the crowded room then made his move. The Commish was wearing a little Star Trek communicator on her chest that went "beedeep" when you press it--which the Ambassador repeatedly did. This just illustrates how unfamiliar Merlin is with our human cultural protocols: Here on Earth you don't EVER touch a lady's communicator without her permission. The Commish, however, was impervious. She had been ranting on about the evil Feds; she didn't have her sensors on, so when the Ambassador introduced himself and started pressing her communicator, she was merely amused. Merlin told her she was "chosen" (bet he says that to all the girls), and he anointed her on the forehead with a special oil he called "Love Potion #9." Somehow, in a thoughtless moment, the Commish gave Merlin her business card, as X tried valiantly to wave her off: "Don't do it!"

But it was too late. Sure enough, a few days later, the Ambassador turned up at the Commissioner's door. Poor Ambassador! The Commish, you see, is not to be messed with. At 100 pounds of fighting fury, she could rip the liver out of any man, which is what she threatened to do if Merlin ever dropped by again.

The Ambassador made a brief appearance in one of the video clips on the Larry King show, but his big day in the sun will be the upcoming CBS Sunday Morning segment on May 28. The crew spent some quality time with the Ambassador along 375 after visiting our Las Vegas annex.

Area 51 Nightclub Coming To Vegas

From a press release posted on the Net on May 16....

Long time rock promoter John Brower's DREAMLAND PRODUCTION GROUP has taken over the Las Vegas, Nevada, nightclub formerly known as The CAVE at 5740 West Charleston. It has been renamed AREA 51, and the adjacent lounge will be known as DREAMLAND."The facility was perfectly suited to our purposes as it has a custom designed interior resembling an underground grotto. We can accommodate some 400 persons and will feature both live music and all night dancing. We expect the club to become a mecca for UFO and alien information with regularly scheduled speakers and contactees who are now coming forward with information that shatters the antiquated belief system that we are alone in the universe," said Brower.

The DREAMLAND PRODUCTION GROUP is awaiting final city approval to erect a flying saucer on the club's roof. The saucer is famous for having been used by Michael Jordan and NIKE in last year's "Hare Jordan" commercial shown world-wide on television. Brower adds, "The flying saucer will appear to have crashed on the roof, complete with smoke and flashing lights. We hope Michael will come by and sign the saucer during his next visit to Las Vegas."

The nightclub will feature alien costumed cocktail waitresses and military clad security personnel. Drinks will be given cosmic names and photos of the secret military installation taken by world famous researchers will be on display throughout. The DREAMLAND Lounge will open Thursday, May 18, 1995, while the AREA 51 nightclub is being readied for a June opening. Live music will be featured between 8pm and midnight with dance music thundering from the sound system until 4am.

[It never opened. See DR#27]

A Disturbing Prophesy

Picked up from an internet newsgroup....

God is coming. Just open the bible. Al through the old Testement is the prophecies we are seeing now and if you look in the new testement you will see that it conciedes with the old. And the new was written centuries after the old was written. Everything is coming to pass. In the year 2005 the planets will all be in a straight line to the sun. Everyone thinks the world will end in a atom bomb. I believe the end is going to come from out in space. Maybe a asteriod colliding with earth. Or weather you believe it or not maybe beings from another world. Supposedly in Area 51 in Nevada there are beings there now. The government has un marked planes that fly into there all the time. Before you could go as far as Rachel Nv now you can't get that close. Why? What are we hiding there. People that get too close tend to disappear off the face of the earth.-- HXEW52A@prodigy.com

Intel Bitties

LAZAR FLAWS SERIES. The newsgroup alt.conspiracy.area51 has become more active lately. Among other rantings and discussions have been posts by Tmahood@netcom.com of his "Lazar Flaws" series pointing out defects in the S-4 story and Lazar's background. Lazar associate Gufon@ix.netcom.com has responded to these and a lively debate has ensued. We suggest that interested parties look in on a.c.a51 soon before the postings expire. (If you can't find the Lazar Flaws there, they may eventually turn up on the WWW.)IT HAS BEEN REPORTED TO US that the FOIA office of the Defense Mapping Agency has received over 100 requests for the Nellis Range Chart in response to DR#21, with Campbell's being the first. The color and B/W reproductions now offered for a fee [DR#23] are reported to be very good. If you want the map, we suggest you still file a FOIA and let them tell you about the fees.

WE ARE NOW AWARE OF FOUR AREA 51 MOVIES in the Hollywood pipeline (which doesn't necessarily mean they will all be completed). One is the Robert Carradine film [DR#25], although it certainly won't be filming in June as reported in Variety. Another is Independence Day, which we now understand is a $40 million action/adventure film from Twentieth Century Fox and the director of Stargate [Roland Emmerich]; it is reportedly now in pre- production. The third Area 51 film was announced by record producer David Trickle and reported in Variety on Apr. 24; it may be only in the early talking stage. (Variety reports that this Area 51 is a $5 million film about extraterrestrials scheduled to shoot in Jan. '96.) Finally, to our surprise, the Lazar movie still appears to be alive at New Line cinema, but we have no idea where it stands. In addition, there seem to be a hundred "Dreamland" scripts now in development, in both private basements and corporate headquarters. Sooner or later, SOMETHING will make it to the big screen, and then the media frenzy will start all over again.

KABC-TV CHANNEL 7 OF LOS ANGELES was the first news crew to visit Tikaboo Peak, huffing with us to the top on the May 13 hike. (Their resulting stories were broadcast on May 15, 19 and 20.) Both the Tikaboo and Mt. Sterling hikes were uneventful, but the weather was cold and partially overcast. Some snow fell on the Tikaboo hike, but the secret base did break through the clouds on occasion. We will probably hold a repeat of the Tikaboo hike in July, when the weather should be ideal. Our June hike, probably at the end of the month, will be to a little-known mountain just northeast of Mercury that offers an unrestricted view of the Nuclear Test Site. More details on that adventure will come in the next Rat.

NEW PRODUCTS: We now carry UFO Crash at Aztec, the difficult-to-find bible of the alleged 1948 New Mexico crash mentioned by Alfred [DR#23]. Its 625 pages are packed with data, rumors and government documents concerning not only the Aztec crash but also Area 51 (this account pre-dating Lazar). The scholarship is weak in places, but there are plenty of clues for any wannabe Sherlock. Published in 1986 by William Steinman with Wendell Stevens. Available from us for $20 plus $5.00 priority mail postage (due to weight). [But see negative reviews of Aztec crash in DR#27.]

We now sell official 4" vinyl self-stick emblems from the White Sands Missile Range for $2 each. (No postage needed if ordered with another item; $0.50 otherwise.) We also carry the acclaimed and highly depressing 1993 volume American Ground Zero, by Carole Gallagher. This large-format, softcover art book (360 pages) records in words and black-and-white portraits the stories of the nuclear "Downwinders" in Nevada and Utah and their devastating diseases. $30 plus $6 postage.

NEW PRINTED CATALOG. The Research Center has just published a new printed catalog in booklet form. It has 15 illustrated pages showing all of our traditional products plus a number of new ones. For a free copy, send your postal address to us at area51rc@aol.com or: Area 51 Research Center, HCR Box 38, Rachel, NV 89001.

THE CURRENT EDITION OF CAMPBELL'S Area 51 Viewer's Guide has not changed since the land grab, but it does provide an adequate Tikaboo Guide. The sections on Freedom Ridge and White Sides can simply be ignored (as advised by a new warning sheet in front). We expect to come out with a new post-grab edition, but it may take a couple of months.

OUR CURRENT EMAIL ADDRESSES ARE BELOW. We welcome your input, but please be brief and make any requests as simple as possible, since our email load is now enormous.

• webmaster@ufomind.com for World Wide Web corrections.
• area51rc@aol.com for catalogs and info on products for sale.
• campbell@ufomind.com for all other inquiries and comments.

Our other email addresses, like the one the Rat is sent from, are checked infrequently and should not be used for correspondence.

Supplmental Info

• Aerial View of McCarran Airport (370k) Janet terminal and Oasis Apartments are near pyramid (below and right).
• Another View of McCarran Airport (294k) Janet terminal is clearly visible in front of pyramid, with one 737 on tarmac.