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Inklings Issue 5.22
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i n k l i n g s
Inkspot's newsletter for Writers on the Net
http://www.inkspot.com
Issue 5.22 * Over 45,000 subscribers! * Nov.10, 1999
*****************************************************************
<http://www.inkspot.com/inklings/issues/ink0522.html>
This issue features an article by Judith Bowen (ASK THE ROMANCE
AUTHOR) about genre fiction, and Donna Gephart offers tips
on how to write and sell funny essays.
This issue sponsored by:
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XLIBRIS exists to help authors publish. Promptly, permanently. You
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Call for a free information pack: 1-888-7XLIBRIS, email
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FREE SUBSCRIPTION to T-Zero Xpandizine: The Writers' E-Zine.
Learn about Writers' Village University's FREE WRITING COURSES,
and find out how you can become a part of the world's friendliest
international writers' group. It's the fun way to learn the craft
of writing and meet writers! http://wvu.org
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Visit our web site at http://www.abcediting.com *OR*
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ISSN 1205-6413. Copyright 1995-1999 Debbie Ridpath Ohi. See end
of issue for copyright/contact info. http://www.inkspot.com
*****************************************************************
CONTENTS THIS ISSUE:
From The Editor's Desk
Fresh Ink and Market Information
Ask The Romance Writer
Writing and Selling Funny Essays
Writers' Classifieds
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FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK:
-----------------------
Thanks to SMART COMPUTING magazine and Katie Dolan for
highlighting Inkspot in the November issue (p96).
Writer's Wish List
------------------
The holiday season is just around the corner, so I'm sending out
my annual request for Writers' Wish List items. What book,
software, gadget, service, or product do *you* think would make a
great gift for a writer? I'll publish a compiled list in our
December 8th issue, just in time for seasonal shopping or adding
to your own lists for family and friends.
Anyone who sends in a suggestion will automatically be entered in
our first annual Inkspot End-of-the-Year Prize Giveaway
Extravaganza. :-) Deadline: December 15th. No entry fee. For a
(growing) list of prizes, please see URL below. If you would like
to donate a prize, please see URL above for instructions.
To enter, please see:
http://www.inkspot.com/admin/giveaway1999.html
Current prizes: WRITER'S MARKET (with CD-ROM), CHRISTMAS BIZARRE
(from the Southern Indiana Writers Group), HOW TO WRITE ARTICLES
THAT SELL by L. Perry Wilbur and John Samsel (Allworth Press,
1999), INK LINK SOFTWARE (manuscript tracking software),
SCREENWRIGHT: THE CRAFT OF SCREENWRITING by Charles Deemer,
WRITING TRAVEL BOOKS AND ARTICLES By Richard Cropp, Barbara
Braidwood, Susan Boyce (Self-Counsel Press, 1997). Details about
these prizes at URL above.
Next issue of Global Writers' Ink:
----------------------------------
Coming in the November 17 issue: A look at international markets
for business writing, and an overview of the Australian
marketplace. For more info as well as articles and resources
related to international marketing for writers, please see
http://www.inkspot.com/global/.
Couples working together
------------------------
Thanks to all those who sent encouragement and advice re:
Jeff and I working together. :-) You can see some comments at:
http://writers-bbs.com/inkspot/?forum=couples
One woman had even written a book on the topic (HONEY, I WANT
TO START MY OWN BUSINESS by Azriela Jaffe)! To subscribe to
a free email newsletter for entrepreneurial couples, send an
email to az@azriela.com, with "subscribe ECS, inkspot" in the
subject header or see http://www.isquare.com/crlink.htm.
Jeff and I should be moving into our new office this weekend;
we're just waiting for Internet access to be installed (fingers
crossed).
- Debbie
*****************************************************************
FRESH INK
---------
PRIZE GIVEAWAYS: MIND MANAGER ("The Ultimate Organization Tool")
----------------------------------------------------------------
Award-winning organizational tool designed to encourage
creativity and improve productivity. Based on a theory of "mind
maps", graphical representations of associations between
concepts. Needs Win95/98. See demo at
http://www.mindmanager.com/INK.
Deadline: Nov.21, 1999. For more info about this software and how
to enter, see: http://www.inkspot.com/admin/giveaway.html
RECENT PRIZEWINNERS:
Sheila Penney - CANADIAN WRITER'S CALENDAR 2000
Gina M. Sanders - ANNUSHKA'S VOYAGE
Donna Miller - WRITING MAGAZINE & NEWSPAPER ARTICLES
Kim Davis - THE ENGLISH TEACHER'S COMPANION
Michael Ireland - CHARLEY SNELLINGS CD
NOTE re: CANADIAN WRITER'S CALENDAR:
Several writers asked where they could order a copy of the
Canadian Writer's Calendar. Info is available from
stories@direct-internet.net, or call (613) 592-2776 between
8:30 am and 8:00 pm EST Monday to Sunday.
Net Author
----------
New ezine for writers. Articles, resource links, free classifieds,
more. Editor: Robert Marcom.
http://www.netauthor.org/
Am I A Writer Yet?
------------------
"The electronic magazine for writers-to-be of all stages and
ages." Monthly. Articles, exercises, resource links, more. (AS)
http://awriteryet.homepage.com/
iUniverse
---------
Barnes and Noble recently acquired 49% of iUniverse.com, a new
on-demand publishing venture (http://www.iuniverse.com). What do
you think of iUniverse? Post your opinion below.
http://writers-bbs.com/inkspot/?forum=iuniverse
Children's Writing
------------------
Part of the Suite101 site. Maintained by Sue Reichard.
Articles, resource links, discussion forums for children's
writers.
http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/childrens_writing
NetRead
-------
Provides free information about book publishing, resource links,
directory, job listings, event calendar, networking for those
involved in the book publishing business.
http://www.netread.com/
Studio B
--------
Roundup of news on writing, publishing, and online bookselling.
http://www.studiob.com/cafenews/
Nickelodeon Fellowship Program
------------------------------
Nickelodeon Productions is looking for new creative talent and is
offering a Fellowship Program. Six writers will work full-time
developing their craft at Nickelodeon/Nick Jr. "We will be
offering Nickelodeon and Nick Jr. (preschool) fellowships in live
action and animation television, and the feature film divisions.
Nickelodeon Productions will provide a $33,000 salary and a
$3,000 stipend to cover the cost of medical benefits for a
one-year period. Fellows outside the Los Angeles and New York
areas will receive round-trip coach airfare and one month's
accommodations. The program is tentatively scheduled to begin
June 2000." Deadline to request applications: Nov.15. Deadline
for submission of applications: Dec.15. More details below:
http://fellowshipprogram.nick.com/
AS:Aileen Suquila-Santos
** Please send suggestions for Fresh Ink to freshink@inkspot.com
*****************************************************************
GOTHAM WRITERS' WORKSHOP: Creative writing classes in Fiction,
Nonfiction, Screenwriting, Poetry, Children's Books, more.10-wk &
1-day classes in NYC and online for adults and teens. For free
catalog, call 212-WRITERS or visit http://www.WritingClasses.com
*****************************************************************
Advertise here! Send e-mail to sales@inkspot.com for details.
*****************************************************************
MARKET INFORMATION
------------------
Please get current, detailed guidelines before submitting to
publications if possible. Don't submit to email addresses unless
specifically stated. Include a SASE for surface mail replies.
More market info at: http://www.inkspot.com/market/.
**-----------------------------------------------------**
"FNASR": First North American Serial Rights, "SASE":
self-addressed, stamped envelope, "simsubs": simultaneous
submissions, "mss": manuscript, "RT": response time, "GL":
guidelines.
Markets Editor: Sal Towse (ST). Research assistants: Shane Stacks
(SS), Margaret Shauers (MS), Kathie Meyer (KM), Jan Edwards (JE).
***** Because of the volume of new market information received,
***** we were unable to fit it all in one issue.
***** Extra markets include: Spellbound, On Spec magazine,
***** Aboriginal Science Fiction, Writer's Digest.
*****
***** To receive the markets supplement for this issue, send
***** a blank e-mail to: marketextra@inkspot.com
HOT OFF THE PRESSES! Writer's Digest tells Inklings they're launching
a top to bottom redesign of WD with the January 2000 issue. They're
changing the look of the magazine significantly and revamping their
content. "In a nutshell, the change can be seen in our new tag line:
WD used to be Your Monthly Guide to Getting Published, but starting in
January, we'll be The Insider's Guide to the Writing Life." They add
"The redesign means that we'll have new editorial needs--if it could
have appeared in WD five years ago, we don't want to see it now."
Amanda Boyd sent me a copy of their just-updated guidelines, which are
the basis of this market report, and adds "You'll notice that we no
longer accept the personal essays for the Chronicle section--we've
replaced that column with something we call Buzz, a page of industry
news we'll drop in right before the issue goes to press. I'm working
on the final sets of proofs for the January issue right now, and I'm
really, really excited about how the magazine looks. I would encourage
everyone to buy a copy of the January issue and tell us what you
think. It's very exciting..." (ST)
***** Please see autoresponder info (marketextra@inkspot.com) for
***** the newly revised Writer's Digest guidelines.
THE SEWANEE REVIEW
------------------
The Sewanee Review, The University of the South, 735 University
Avenue, Sewanee TN 37383-1000. 931.598.1246. Editor: George
Core. Quarterly literary journal (founded 1892). 200 pps/6" x 9"
trim size. CIRC: 3,200. AUDIENCE: Well educated readers who
enjoy literature, poetry, essays. NEEDS: The highest quality
poetry, fiction, literary criticism. LENGTH: Poems - 40 lines
or less (no more than 6 per submission); stories - 3,500 to 7,500
wds, no short-short stories. RTS: First North American Serial
Rights. PAY: On publication. 60/line for poetry; $25 for short
reviews; $150-$250 for short stories and essays; plus two
contributor's copies. RT: 6 wks. COMMENTS: "Peruse at least
one copy of the magazine before submitting anything. It is
better to look at several issues if possible." Some previously
published selections are available for reading on the website.
"No fantasy, science fiction, romance, or erotica will be
considered. Excessive vulgarity should be avoided. The editor
prefers stories with a traditional plot structure. Standards are
high; competition is extreme. Approximately one story is
accepted for every 200 submitted; the acceptance rate for poetry
is only slightly higher." SAMPLE COPIES: Sample copies are
available for $7.25 each. SUBMISSION: Electronic submissions are
not accepted. Send mss with a SASE to: The Sewanee Review, The
University of the South, 735 University Avenue, Sewanee TN
37383-1000. SASE with sufficient postage must be included for
return or reply. Submissions should be original double-spaced
typescripts. Only unpublished original work (no translations) can
be considered. No simultaneous or multiple submissions. Poems
and stories may be sent without writing in advance. Queries are
suitable for essays (7,500 words or less) and reviews
(unsolicited reviews are rarely accepted). Works should not be
submitted between June 1 and August 31. (JE)
URL: http://www.sewanee.edu/sreview/home.html
GL: http://www.sewanee.edu/sreview/guidelines.html
E-mail: rjones@sewanee.edu
NET AUTHOR
----------
Net Author. Submissions to: submissions@netauthor.org.
Moderator/Administrator: Robert Marcom; Editor: Rhonna J.
Robbins-Sponaas. Net Author is "an educational opportunity for
writers on the Internet." It is a non-profit online writers
community, rather than a chat group, bringing together
experienced authors and novice writers. The mission of Net Author
is to promote e-publishing as a quality venue for authors. FREQ:
Updated continually, at least weekly. CIRC: Currently about 1200
hits per month. AUDIENCE: Writers focusing on the Internet as a
resource and as an expanding marketing opportunity, who desire to
further their craft regardless of their present status. NEEDS:
Clear, well thought-out essays about most aspects of writing and
literary philosophy. Essays may be humorous, philosophical,
instructional or analytical in tone. LENGTH: Work may be of any
length. Length should be appropriate to the topic(s) covered.
RTS: Authors retain all rights. Net Author purchases permission
to publish and maintain essays in electronic format. Net Author's
use of authors' work is non-exclusive. Authors retain the right
to republish their essays freely, and at any time. PAY: On
acceptance. $5.00 U.S. per essay accepted for publication. RT:
Within 5 working days. SUBMISSION: Queries are required. Do NOT
send unsolicited manuscripts. Query by e-mail only to
Submissions@netauthor.org. Once an essay has been accepted,
please polish work before sending for publication. Please spell
check and re-read for continuity. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: Writers
are not published according to their previous accomplishments.
Net Author seeks information or enlightenment from writers.
Membership in Net Author is at no cost, nor are fees charged for
services. Members receive detailed critiques of submitted work.
Non-members receive a personal acceptance/rejection. ADDITIONAL
TIPS FROM EDITOR: 1) We are currently looking for quick reference
articles on the "nuts and bolts" of writing craft. See examples
at: http://www.netauthor.org/quickref.html. 2) View the articles
on our site to become familiar with our format and philosophy.
(JE)
URL: http://www.netauthor.org
GL: http://www.netauthor.org/guidelin.html
E-mail: moderator@netauthor.org
INSCRIPTIONS MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE CONTEST
----------------------------------------
Inscriptions Message In A Bottle Contest. GUIDELINES: Your true
love is out there. Since before time began, the two of you were
destined to complete each other. Two halves of a whole. At some
point in each lifetime, we all come in contact with our
soulmates. We simply have to recognize this person, and then
choose to be with him/her. Unfortunately, your soulmate seems to
be a bit preoccupied lately. So, it's time for you to make your
move. Write a letter to your soulmate. Pretend this letter will
be rolled into a cylinder, and placed in a glass bottle to be
tossed into the sea. Within a month, your soulmate is bound to
find it. Somehow. Letters should be less than 1,500 wds. Single
space your entries, with a double space between paragraphs. Do
not indent. There is no fee to enter the Message in a Bottle
Contest. All entries for this contest must be in English. The
writer can live anywhere in the world. Paste your letter directly
into the body of an e-mail and send to
Contest@inscriptionsmagazine.com with the subject heading
"Message Contest." Include your real name, pen name (if
applicable), mailing address and e-mail address at the bottom of
each entry. All letters must include a word count. Entries
without complete author information, sent in other formats
(including attached files) or with the incorrect subject heading
will be disqualified. One entry per person. Each entry will be
acknowledged, once received by the Inscriptions staff. If you do
not receive confirmation within 48 hours, please resend your
entry. PRIZE: 1st place -- $50 gift certificate from Amazon.Com
(or cash equivalent) and publication in Inscriptions. Deadline
for all entries is 5 p.m. EST November 26, 1999. Winners will be
announced in the December 11th weekend issue of Inscriptions. (ST)
URL: http://www.inscriptionsmagazine.com
E-mail: Contest@inscriptionsmagazine.com
MARKETS UPDATE:
Teresa Mears tells Inklings the only change to FREELANCE SUCCESS'
needs and guidelines since our market report last year is that
their pay rates have increased: Pay varies somewhat by experience
and difficulty of assignment. Market Guide reports pay $100.
Editor Interviews pay $250 and up. Features pay $150 and up. Most
pay more, but they're all negotiated individually. Writer's Voice
pays $150. Pay for Biz Basics varies. Current guidelines are
below. (ST)
http://www.freelancesuccess.com/guidelines.shtml
The WELL's 2nd Annual Online Writing Awards is sponsored this
year by The WELL (www.well.com) and Salon.com (www.salon.com).
The grand prize this year is $500. Other prizes include a year
free on The WELL. Submissions can be made in the following
categories: Online Journalism, Personal Essay, Online Fiction,
Writing Using Hyperlinks. Submissions are due by November 19,
1999. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER. Contest is offered only
within the 50 United States. Contest is open to all persons who
are legal residents of the United States and are 18 years of age
or older at the time of entry. More information can be found at
URL below. (ST)
http://www.well.com/contest/
Please send market news to Sal Towse, towse@inkspot.com.
*****************************************************************
Ask The Experts
---------------
*** Please put "inklings question" in the subject header. ***
Judith Bowen (ROMANCE WRITER) JudithBowen@poboxes.com
David Breeden (POET) dbreeden@schreiner.edu
Charles Deemer (SCREENWRITER) charlesd@inkspot.com
Ken Jenks (ELECTRONIC PUBLISHER) MindsEye@tale.com
Ginger Knowlton (AGENT) agent@inkspot.com
Michelle Sagara (SF/FANTASY WRITER) Michelle.Sagara@sff.net
Lee Wardlaw (CHILDREN'S BOOK WRITER) lee@inkspot.com
Marcia Yudkin (FREELANCE WRITER) yudkin@inkspot.com
Columnists may be unable to reply privately to every message,
but will answer selected questions in future issues of Inklings.
Please keep your question BRIEF and send it to *one* columnist.
*****************************************************************
ASK THE ROMANCE WRITER
-----------------------------------------------------------------
by Judith Bowen <JudithBowen@poboxes.com>
What is genre fiction?
----------------------
Q. I understand that romance is genre fiction. What exactly
_is_ genre fiction and what is different about romance?
A. Very good question! Genre fiction is often referred to as
popular fiction. It includes such genres as science fiction (sf),
horror, western, thriller, mystery, romance, etc, with
subdivisions within each genre, such as police procedural,
hardboiled detective, cozy, etc.
In romance, there are only two restrictions. You MUST have a
happy ending, and by that I do not mean a blissful couple
hand-in-hand at the altar, but the relationship must be resolved
in a satisfying way, generally a pair-bond of some kind. We're
not talking about happy-ever-after--we all know how life can get
in the way of that--but we do mean a happy resolution to the
events of the book. After all, these books are about men and
women hammering out their differences and establishing a strong,
positive relationship. Also, and most importantly to
distinguish it from other genres, you MUST engage the emotions of
the reader.
In many genres, plot is all-important and characters tend to be
cut-outs or less than complex, at least. Think of quest plots, or
thrillers with a ton of action or even long-standing series such
as John D. MacDonald's Travis McGee books. Travis was
multi-dimensional, but few other characters in the books were
much more than cut-outs. Bad guys, good guys, beautiful dames. In
a mystery, character is secondary to solving the puzzle and
restoring order out of chaos--the main appeal of the mystery
genre. Of course, this doesn't rule out complex characters in
any kind of genre book, but it can be less important in terms of
meeting reader expectations in other genre fiction. In horror,
you want to be scared silly. The book succeeds in meeting reader
expectations if it does that. A complex character like Hannibal
Lector just makes the read that more enjoyable.
In a romance novel, since the reader knows the ending already--a
happy, satisfying one--she must be engaged with the characters.
And that means she must participate in the emotions of the
characters as they endure conflicts and resolve problems. She
must desperately WANT those characters to succeed, or she would
yawn and put the book down. After all, hasn't she seen it all
before?
No. And that's the draw of the romance novel. Every person is
different; every couple is different. Every set of problems is
worked out differently by different people with different goals
at stake.
The great appeal of the romance novel is that it resonates with
the lives of the readers--male-female bonding, loyalty,
permanence, happiness, hope, children, family, home. These are
the archetypal themes of romance, or courtship books, as some
have called them. They deal with deeply established patterns and
longings reaching back into our far-distant past.
Your job as the author is to make sure you write a book where the
emotion is deeply felt. That is a lot harder than it sounds. One
way of ensuring that the reader experiences the story is to study
the use of point of view carefully and make choices that involve
the reader in the character's emotion. This results in a special
form of third person point of view of the romance novel, which is
written very much like first person. The reader
experiences--sees, tastes, feels-- along with the character, just
as she would in a first person novel. This special form of third
person point of view provides the same kind of immediacy as first
person.
Even literary fiction doesn't escape the "genre" label, at least
not in the view of some. Jayne Ann Krentz, _New York Times_
best-seller author, holds to an interesting theory that literary
fiction is a genre unto itself.
For example, when is the last time you read a truly happy ending
in a literary work? ;)
**------------------------------------------**
Judith Bowen is an award-winning romance author who currently
teaches classes on writing popular fiction in Vancouver, Canada,
and on-line with Writers on the Net (http://www.writers.com). THE
HIS BROTHER'S BRIDE is an Oct/Nov 1999 release from Harlequin
Superromance, the fifth in her "Men of Glory" books.
http://www.judithbowen.com
Copyright (c) 1999 Judith Bowen.
*****************************************************************
WRITING AND SELLING FUNNY ESSAYS
-----------------------------------------------------------------
by Donna Gephart <dgephart@email.msn.com>
I don't own a pool or spa. I'm not upscale -- financially or
otherwise. Yet, four times a year, I produce a humor column for
readers of Pool & Spa Living, a glossy national magazine for
upscale owners of pools and spas. I can do this because I know
the secrets to writing and selling humor. And after you've read
the next two paragraphs, you'll know them too.
Secret one? Write about what matters to you. Write about what
makes you feel passionately. Write about the "loser" side of
yourself. (Can't get a date? Perfect. Neither can millions of
other people.) Write about what makes you angry and upset. (Did
your insurance company raise rates again? Great. So did the
insurance companies of your potential readers.)
Secret two? Never sit in front of the computer and think, OK,
now I need to be funny. You'll freeze. Think about the subject
matter, whether it's waging a war against fleas or suffering the
frustration of toilet training a toddler. Humor comes later.
I'll take you through each step as I create a funny essay for
Pool & Spa Living Magazine.
First, choose a topic
---------------------
What matters to you that might also matter to readers? For this
essay, I recalled my first (and only) professional massage. I
felt so nervous about getting undressed in front of a stranger, I
nearly cancelled the appointment.
Once you choose a topic, list feelings and experiences associated
with it. Take risks here. Don't be shy. And don't be funny...yet.
1. I felt terribly nervous the morning of the massage.
2. The masseur asked me several medical questions before we
began.
3. When he told me to undress, I thought of my gynecologist
and wanted to escape.
4. During the massage he told me to relax, but I couldn't at
first.
5. Eventually, I was able to relax.
6. When it was over, I remember him telling me to drink lots
of water to flush toxins from my body.
7. When I recounted the story to others, I told them how
tense and nervous I had felt.
Turn ordinary statements into humorous ones
-------------------------------------------
Now that you have a list of items about what your subject means
to you, employ techniques to turn the ordinary statements into
humorous ones. I'm going to give you examples of seven humorous
techniques, but as you practice and hone your skills, you will
discover others.
1) FALSE STATEMENT (SARCASM) - Saying one thing, but meaning another.
"Beth, if you're this nervous about getting the massage,
why don't you cancel?"
"I can't cancel. For God's sake, Janet bought this gift
to relax me. And damn it, I'm going to relax!"
"Honey, that big, blue vein is dancing in your forehead
again."
2) COMPARISON - Finding the similarities or dissimilarities between two
unlike items.
(In this case, I'm comparing the masseur's questions to
the Spanish Inquisition.)
"Do you have any particular discomfort, anything bothering you?"
"My husband."
"No, I mean your back. Are you in good health?"
"Mental or physical?" How did this man expect me to relax
when he was putting me through the Spanish Inquisition? I
confessed. "I've actually . . ." I whispered the last
part, "never had a massage before."
3) LIST -- a collection of items to back up your point.
Get undressed?! Doesn't he know that I buy all my clothes
mail order because I'm too shy to try anything on in
Loehmann's dressing room? I shower fully-clothed. When
Tom and I go skinny dipping, I wear my bathing suit.
4) OPPOSITE OF WHAT'S EXPECTED -- this is where that vital
element of surprise comes in.
"I want you to relax."
I tensed.
"Take deep cleansing breaths."
I held my breath.
"And think pleasant thoughts."
IRS audit. This wasn't working.
5) UNDERSTATEMENT - saying something is ridiculously less than it
really is.
During the final fifteen seconds of the massage, I let down my
guard. I relaxed the muscles in my left ear.
6) DOUBLE MEANING -- Use homonyms, words that are pronounced and
spelled alike, but have different meanings.
He called, "Drink lots of water to flush toxins from your body."
I waved, muttering, "I'll drink. Won't be water."
7) EXAGGERATION - pushing an idea or image to a ridiculous
extreme.
"I never felt so tense in my life. Having my wisdom teeth
extracted without Novocaine might have been more relaxing."
Once you've translated your ideas into funny thoughts and images,
use transitions to pull them together. Make sure one thought
flows logically into the next.
End your essay with a lesson learned or a way in which the
experience has changed or shaped you. Since this piece was
intended for a pool and spa magazine, I had the two main
characters end up in the spa where he gave her a massage and she
could finally relax.
After all this, you still haven't done the most important part.
You need to put your humorous essay away for a few days or a week
and then edit it. Make sure that throughout your essay readers
expect one thing or image and are given another. Make sure
you've used your techniques to turn as many non-humorous
statements into humorous ones as possible. If a line sounds
familiar or flat, reach for an innovative, unusual way to say the
same thing. Originality and surprise are prized. Take chances
with your thinking and writing. Go to the edge and jump.
Edit again later. Cut unnecessary words. Get to the punch line
and get out. Never explain a joke to your readers; that would
rob them of the joy of discovery. And keep it short; humorous
essays should be a maximum of 800 words and a minimum of 500.
Aim for 700 tight, compact words.
When marketing, don't ignore local magazines and newspapers.
They are a great place to break in. I know a writer who has a
twice-weekly humor column in her local newspaper. I still sell
my humorous essays to a local parenting magazine. Payment is
lower, of course, but opportunity to sell is much greater than
with national magazines.
I've earned from $200 to $750 for my humorous essays. Someone
actually pays me hundreds of dollars for telling stories that
matter to me. Now if that isn't funny, I don't know what is!
**-----------------------------------------**
Donna Gephart is the humor columnist for Pool & Spa Living
Magazine. She has sold humorous essays to Fitness, Weight
Watchers, Petlife and many others. Her humorous fillers have
appeared in Reader's Digest, Baby Talk, Diet & Fitness and
others. She worked as the editor of a greeting card company for
nearly seven years and currently writes greeting cards for
American Greetings, Gibson Greetings, Oatmeal Studios, Blue
Mountain Arts and others. Her instructional articles have
appeared in The Writer, Canadian Author and others.
Copyright (c) 1999 Donna Gephart.
*****************************************************************
INKSPOT WRITERS' COMMUNITY CENTER
---------------------------------
AUTHOR CHAT: Wednesday, Dec.9th @ 9 pm Eastern / 8 pm Central
KAREN MCCULLOUGH: mystery/suspense, sf/f, romance
Info, transcripts: http://www.inkspot.com/ss/iwcc/
**New ICC Mailing List** Join our new list to receive in-depth
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