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Inklings Issue 4.25

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Inklings
 · 9 months ago

================================================================ 

i n k l i n g s

Inkspot's newsletter for Writers on the Net

Issue 4.25 * Over 44,000 subscribers! * Dec.9, 1998
================================================================
<http://www.inkspot.com/inklings/issues/ink0425.html>

This issue features an article by Donna Gephart about humor
writing, and advice from Lee Wardlaw (ASK THE CHILDREN'S BOOK
AUTHOR) about easy readers.


This issue sponsored by:
================================================================
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================================================================
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Call 1-888-7XLIBRIS and mention this ad. http://www.xlibris.com
================================================================
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================================================================
THE WRITER'S SOFTWARE COMPANION by Writer's Digest's Nancy Kress.
Total immersion technology dramatically accelerates a writer's
progress. http://www.novalearn.com. And Writer On Line
membership contest. Cash and other prizes. All entrants receive
free software download. http://www.novalearn.com/writers/contest
================================================================
ISSN 1205-6413. Copyright 1995-1998 Debbie Ridpath Ohi. See end
of issue for copyright/contact info. http://www.inkspot.com
================================================================
CONTENTS THIS ISSUE:
From The Editor's Desk
Fresh Ink and Market Information
Book Highlight
Ask The Children's Book Author
Writing Funny For Money
Writers' Classifieds
================================================================

FROM THE EDITOR'S DESK:
=======================

Thanks to the support of our advertisers, I am pleased to
announce that Inklings is able to raise its payment rates for
writers from 3c/wd to 5c/wd (US funds). I'm starting to look for
material for next year and welcome queries. PLEASE READ THE
GUIDELINES before sending submissions! You can get the most
recent version of the guidelines by sending email (which can be
blank) to guidelines@inkspot.com.

The Amateur Poetry Journal recently interviewed me. Those
interested can see the interview at:
http://amateurpoetry.virtualave.net/december/interview.html

PRESS RELEASES: Please send any press release info to
press@inkspot.com, not editor@inkspot.com. I promise to look at
everything, but I'd like to keep subscriber mail separate from
general press releases, thanks.

Congratulations to the following prizewinners:
Gail Shelton - SCREENWRITING FOR THE SOUL by Richard Krevolin
Paula Pierce - THE WRITE FOCUS by Don Vasicek
Sheila Crosby - MONEY FOR WRITERS edited by Diane Billot

I've been receiving a growing number of inquiries about whether
Inklings is available in other languages. If any of you are
interested in offering your translation services, please email
me with your rates and experience (email editor@inkspot.com
with "translation" in the subject header), thanks!

And finally...I'd love to get a Christmas card from those of you
who send them out! Include a clearly-printed email address and
I'll enter you in a random drawing for a copy of the 1999
Writer's Market. NO ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS CARDS, PLEASE. If you
don't celebrate Christmas, then a regular card would be also
welcome. Please send to Inkspot, POB 1325, North Tonawanda, NY,
USA 14120-9325 or Inkspot, 55 McCaul St., Box 123, Toronto, ON
Canada M5T 2W7. Deadline: Dec. 31st, 1998.

================================================================
INKSPOT WRITERS' COMMUNITY CENTER (IWCC) UPDATE: The IWCC is
pleased to present its first *free* online workshop:

BOOK PROPOSALS WORKSHOP with Loretta Kemsley
TIME: Wed, December 9th, 9 pm EST
____PT_______MT_______CT_______ET_______AT_____
| 6-7 7-8 8-9 9-10 10-11 |
|______________________________________________|
PLACE: IWCCÊ(see http://www.inkspot.com/ss/iwcc/)
ADVANCE QUESTIONS can be sent to loretta@inkspot.com

You can find out more about Loretta and the IWCC at:
http://www.inkspot.com/ss/iwcc/. The IWCC is generously supported
by the kind folks at MOOkti (http://noisey.oise.utoronto.ca:9996/).Ê
NOTE: Inkspot's IWCC section is currently undergoing modification
to make IWCC easier to use for Inkspot/Inklings readers!Ê
Suggestions, comments, etc. are more than welcome.ÊContact
Shane Stacks at ss@inkspot.com (you are also invited to use this
email for any and all IWCC related correspondence, including
general help).
================================================================

FRESH INK
=========

BOOK PRIZE GIVEAWAYS
--------------------
SUCCESSFUL WRITER'S GUIDE TO PUBLISHING MAGAZINE ARTICLES
By Eva Shaw, Ph.D.
Hundreds of opportunities for writers of all genres.
HOW TO PROMOTE YOUR CHILDREN'S BOOK by Evelyn Gallardo
Tips on generating your own events, publicity, and book sales.
Step-by-step manual is packed with useful advice and examples.

Deadline: Dec.20, 1998. To enter, see URL below for details:
http://www.inkspot.com/admin/giveaway.html

Resources for Mystery Writers
-----------------------------
Categorized list of resource pointers.
http://members.aol.com/mwanorcal/linkwrit.htm

Freelancing 101
---------------
Don't forget to check out Moira Allen's monthly column.
Current topic: Exploring New Markets.
http://www.inkspot.com/moira/

Grammar Lady Hotline
--------------------
Tips, resources, columns, and a real Grammar Lady who mans
a grammar phone hotline during the week, 9-5 EST.
http://www.grammarlady.com/hotline.html

Cliche Finder
-------------
Another amusing online procrastination tool...
http://www.westegg.com/cliche/

WriteLinks
----------
Chat, critique group, discussion board, magazine for
writers, resources, other services.
http://www.writelinks.com/

Garbl's Writing Resources Online
--------------------------------
Excellent guide to online grammar and style websites.
http://pw1.netcom.com/~garbl1/writing.html

Soliloquy
---------
Resources, articles, tips, help desk.
http://members.xoom.com/ellipsis/

Discussion forums and chats for writers
---------------------------------------
Check out the virtual rooms at the Writers' BBS! Different
topics. I tend to hang out in the General Chat room.
http://writers-bbs.com/bbs3/inkspot.html

** Please send suggestions for Fresh Ink to freshink@inkspot.com
================================================================
Try FREELANCE SUCCESS, the marketing newsletter for serious
nonfiction writers, for just $25. Special offer ends Dec. 31!
Professional online writing courses start Jan. 18. Details,
www.freelancesuccess.com or e-mail freelance-success@usa.net.
================================================================
**WRITER HOLIDAY GIFTS ***Give what writers want most-THEIR BOOKS
IN PRINT-have their book(s) available worldwide on the Internet--
View online--print on-demand. Help improve their writing skills-
give a WRITING COURSE. Gift Certificates at www.WritersClub.com
================================================================

MARKET INFORMATION
==================
Please get current, detailed guidelines before submitting to
publications if possible. Don't submit to email addresses unless
specifically stated. Include a SASE for surface mail replies.
More market info at: http://www.inkspot.com/bt/market/.

==-----------------------------------------------------==

"FNASR" = First North American Serial Rights, "SASE" =
self-addressed, stamped envelope, "simsubs" = simultaneous
submissions, "mss" = manuscript, "RT" = response time, "GL" =
guidelines, "wds" = words, "cc" = contributor's copy,
"IWGL" = Inkspot Writer's Guideline Library.
Markets Editor: Sal Towse (ST). Research ass't: Shane Stacks (SS).

SPACEWAYS WEEKLY
----------------
SpaceWays Weekly, London Application Solutions Inc. 148 York
Street, London, Ontario, Canada N6A 1A9. Editor: Rigel Desert
Chiokis. Sent by email, published 52 times/yr. Science fiction
and fantasy short stories. "Each issue contains one story, the
editor's comments and an autobiography of the story's author."
PAYS: 1c/wd CDN. Encourages new writers. NEEDS: "We generally
prefer stories with an up-beat or positive ending, but we do
accept stories with a down-beat or not-so-positive ending.
Stories with excellent characterization will always get picked
first. I love stories where the characters seem like real people
and I find myself caring about that character's life or problem.
Secondly, a story must have a well designed plot. If the plot
does not hang together properly, good characters won't help (it's
like having very talented actors on a tv show which has very bad
scripts). And thirdly, your science (or magic, etc.) must be
presented in a believable fashion. Whether or not such a thing is
possible, you need to get the reader to suspend their disbelief.
In more general terms, I will take stories dealing with the
following ideas. SCIENCE FICTION: space travel, time travel,
colony ships, colony worlds, war, peace, new discoveries,
scientific extrapolation, romance, suspense, mystery, police
oriented, humour, etc. FANTASY: magic, war, peace, romance,
mystery, sword and sorcery, dragons, elves (and other wee folk -
but you need to know your mythology!), etc. I will also accept
well crafted blends of the two. We generally do not accept
stories with a religious or historical theme. A short story is
defined as being a complete story which is 5000 words or less."
Full guidelines on website. (Confirmed Dec.3/98)
URL: http://www.mirror.org/spaceways/
GL: http://www.mirror.org/spaceways/writer.html
Email: spaceways@mirror.org

WEIRD TALES
(formerly WORLDS OF FANTASY AND HORROR, before that, Weird Tales)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Weird Tales, 123 Crooked Lane, King of Prussia PA 19406-2570
Editors: George Scithers and Darrell Schweitzer. Quarterly
magazine of fantasy and horror fiction. Circ: 8K. Size: 68/pp,
8.5x11 NEEDS: Please keep in mind our magazine's title. We almost
never buy a story or a poem which has no fantasy content; we
hardly ever buy SF which lacks fantasy elements. But this leaves
room for an extraordinary range of fiction -- and poetry: Robert
E. Howard's Conan the Cimmerian and modern swordplay & sorcery
were born in Weird Tales, which continues that tradition. H.P.
Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos, Miskatonic University and all, is
welcome to our pages, and -- especially -- stories set in
fantasy-worlds of your own invention. We're looking for the best
in fantasy-based horror, heroic fantasy, and exotic mood pieces
-- plus the occasional odd story that won't fit anywhere else. We
want to please our readers with superior writing and to surprise
them with new ideas. To this end, we will occasionally publish a
story in which the ominous, eldritch, and/or squamous horrors
waiting to pounce turn out to be quite innocuous. We almost never
use material already published in the US. A 10K-wd story -- which
takes up almost a quarter of an issue -- is about the longest we
can use. Most of what we buy is shorter than 8K wds. We do not
serialize novels. We have no minimum length. Short-short stories
(less than 1K wds or so) are very hard to write, but they are
easy to sell. PAY: $0.03-0.06. On acceptance. FNASR. RT: As fast
as we can, and we write an individual letter for almost every
rejection No disk or e-mail submissions (but you can correspond
and ask questions by e-mail: owlswick@netaxs.com. We will ask for
a disk if we buy your story. Back issues of Weird Tales and WoF&H;
are available from DNA Publications, Inc., PO Box 2988, Radford,
VA 24143-2988: single copies, $5.00 each, including postage;
four-issue subscriptions, $16.00 in the U.S. and its possessions;
elsewhere, $6.00 and $22.00; all prices in U.S. dollars. Make
checks payable to DNA Publications, Inc. TIPS: READ OUR
GUIDELINES. It also helps to read a copy of our magazine. We've
been booked in the past, but not now. Resume sending stories
right away. (ST)
GL: http://www.geocities.com/~towse/stash/weird-tales.html
E-mail: owlswick@netaxs.com

REAL WOMAN MAGAZINE
--------------------
Real Woman Magazine. 5694 Mission Center Road, Suite 356; San
Diego, CA 92108; Fax: 619-295-9997. Editor In Chief, Lisa Williams.
For today's woman who is faced with balancing health, family,
career and personal growth. Bimonthly. Currently direct mail but
expanding to newsstands within the next few months. Audience:
Women 25 to 54 (focus 35+) years of age, living in the United
States. NEEDS: Practical information about diet, health, fitness,
relationships, financial matters, the workplace, personal
stories. Articles which contain "how to" information, statistics,
Web site addresses and other resources are of interest to our
readers. Also need stories that break down complex issues related
to mental or physical health in an easy-to-read format. A look at
past issues on the Real Woman Web site <http://www.rwmag.com> is
the best way to know the style and subject manner which is
suitable for this publication. Categories include: Fitness,
Health, Medicine, Psychology, Sports and Nutrition. Story
outlines may be e-mailed. LENGTH: approx 1K wds. RT: 2 wks PAY:
On publication. Worldwide publication and electronic rights for
120 days after the publication date (and, of course, from the
time a contract has been signed). Commensurate with quality of
work (at this time generally from $200 to $500 per article,
depending on length and topic). (ST)
URL: http://www.realwomanmag.com
GL: http://www.realwomanmag.com/comments.html#WRITER'S GUIDELINES
E-mail: editor@rwmag.com

THE ORPHIC CHRONICLE
--------------------
The Orphic Chronicle, S. Kay Elmore, editor; POB 171202,
Arlington, TX 76003-1202. Full GL available at website. Science
fiction, fantasy, occult, surreal, experimental, originals and
reprints. Acquires first world-wide electronic rights or one-time
rights. Fiction, poetry, pays $5 minimum or 1/4 c/wd. Reading
submissions for the first quarter 1999 issue from Nov. 1 to
Dec.31/98. In particular need of SF/F/H themed poetry. Query for
non-fiction: publishes interviews and book reviews, pays same
rates as for fiction. (Confirmed by editor Dec.4/98)
URL: http://www.orphic-chronicle.com
GL: http://www.orphic-chronicle.com/guide.htm
Email: editor@orphic-chronicle.com

CLOCKWATCH REVIEW
-----------------
Clockwatch Review, Dept. of English, Illinois Wesleyan
University, Bloomington, IL 61702-2900.ÊEditor/Publisher: James
Plath.ÊAn independent, not-for-profit journal of the arts
founded in 1983 for educational purposes.ÊThe only American
literary magazine to spotlight an ongoing series of interviews
with artists, musicians, and other creative people besides
writers.ÊOne volume (2 issues, 1 double issue) published
annually. CIRC: 1500. NEEDS: Poetry, Fiction, Essays, Criticism,
and Interviews. GL: "Send us your BEST work--we publish the best
magazine that we can, and fair is fair." Snail mailÊsubmissions
only. No previously published material or simultaneous
submissions. *Poetry*- 32 lines or less, strong, mature, natural
voice, will accept any subject besides religious poetry and
poetry that is obscene/erotic without any apparent need.ÊSend
3-6 poems at a time.Ê*Fiction*- 4,000 words or less (exceptions
made for exceptional fiction), upbeat, offbeat plots,
memorable/believable characters, a mature and distinctive voice,
genre pieces accepted if they "break the mold." Send one story at
a time. *Essays, Criticism, & Interviews* (query with SASE (best
bet!) or submit complete essay) - use MLA format for literary
criticism, less impressed by jargon than substance and author's
sensitivity to material.ÊMost interviews staff-written, will
consider freelance work if writer has access to someone CR does
not, or if they highlight someone who deserves national
attention.ÊRIGHTS:ÊFNASR, first electronic rights (CR retains
copyright for educational reproduction purposes only, rights
revert upon request or if approached for edited collections,
etc.ÊSee CR websiteÊfor further details).ÊPAY: $25 fiction,
$5 per poem (essays, etc. unspecified). RT: 4 months or less.
NOTE:Ê CR's needs and submission guidelines are quite diverse, it
is *highly* encouraged that you visit their website and take a
good look around when making your decision to submit. (SS)
Ê URL: http://titan.iwu.edu/~jplath/clockwatch.html
Ê GL:Ê http://titan.iwu.edu/~jplath/clockwatch.html#guidelines
Ê E-mail:Êjplath@titan.iwu.edu

UPDATES:
The print version of Canadian Author has folded, but the online
edition still exists at http://www.canauthors.org/cauthor.html.

Please send market news to Sal Towse, towse@inkspot.com.
=================================================================

Inklings Book Highlight:
THE WRITER'S AND PHOTOGRAPHER'S GUIDE TO GLOBAL MARKETS
by Michael Sedge (Allworth Press, Oct/98)
ISBN 1-58115-002-4, 292 pages, US$19.95.
http://www.allworth.com

Excellent resource for those interested in selling their writing
overseas. In addition to listing of hundreds of potential
markets, experienced freelance journalist Michael Sedge gives
valuable advice on market research, approaching editors, pricing
articles and photographs, writing for international tv and film,
working with translators, and the basics of running a freelance
business. He also has some good tips about how to use the
Internet for resources, free publicity, and marketing
opportunities. I'm keeping this review copy for my own shelf. :-)

=================================================================

Ask The Experts
---------------
*** Please put "inklings question" in the subject header. ***
Judith Bowen (ROMANCE WRITER) JudithBowen@poboxes.com
David Breeden (POET) drpoetry@ktc.com
Charles Deemer (SCREENWRITER) cdeemer@teleport.com
Mark Fowler (LAWYER) askthelawyer@inkspot.com
Carol Henson (BOOK DOCTOR) bookdoc@Prodigy.net
Ken Jenks (ELECTRONIC PUBLISHER) MindsEye@tale.com
Michelle Sagara (SF/FANTASY WRITER) Michelle.Sagara@sff.net
Lee Wardlaw (CHILDREN'S BOOK WRITER) lee@inkspot.com
Marcia Yudkin (FREELANCE WRITER) send to yudkin@inkspot.com

Columnists may be unable to reply privately to every message,
but will answer selected questions in future issues of Inklings.
Please keep your question BRIEF and send it to *one* columnist.
=================================================================

ASK THE CHILDREN'S BOOK AUTHOR
-----------------------------------------------------------------
by Lee Wardlaw <lee@inkspot.com>

Easy reader requirements?
-------------------------
Q: I've heard that many publishing companies are looking for
easy-readers. I'd always thought easy-readers were boring books
produced by educational or other curriculum-based houses. Can
you tell me what editors are looking for in this genre? Do I
need to submit my manuscript in a particular format with a
specialized vocabulary?

A: See spot. See Spot run. Run, Spot, run!

If this is your opinion of easy-readers, then I'll need to huff
and puff and blow down that old house of stereotypes! Easy
readers - - books for children who are still learning how to read
on their own - - have changed significantly since the days when
they featured simplistic, didactic stories and specialized word
lists. Dr. Seuss' book THE CAT IN THE HAT changed all that in
the late 1950s, and easy-readers have never been the same.

Today, easy-readers are dynamic, engaging books that feature
three-dimensional characters, suspenseful plots, and authentic
dialogue. They're also available in a variety of "flavors" to
suit a variety of readers: historical, contemporary, humorous,
mystery, scary and even non-fiction. And just about every
publishing house features an easy-reader line: HarperCollins,
Random House, Troll, Dial, and Scholastic, to name just a few.
Grade levels are usually 1st, 2nd and 3rd, although many of these
books begin in the pre-K and kindergarten age groups.

If you are intrigued by this genre, here are a few tips to get
you started writing for beginning readers:

1. Check out 30-50 different beginning and easy-reader books from
your local library, take them home and study them. This will
help you to discover what story ideas have been used successfully
- - and how. Then read these stories aloud, over and over again,
to get a feel for the vocabulary, sentence structure and pacing.

2. Write to several publishers and request a copy of their
writer's guidelines for easy-readers. Format preference and
reading levels differ at each publishing house. A Level 2
easy-reader at one company may be significantly easier reading -
- or geared for a younger age level - - than a Level 2 at a
competing company. In addition, some houses have strict
vocabulary or format rules; others may be more flexible.

3. Write your story - but don't worry about format or vocabulary.
Tell your story in the most engaging, vivid way you know how.
You can worry about fitting it into an easy-reader format
afterward.

4. Revise your story by asking the following questions: Are my
sentences short enough to be understood by a 1st (or 2nd or 3rd)
grader? Are there any words a young child might not understand?
If so, do I need to simplify them - - or might a child be able to
figure out their meaning within the context of the story? Do I
have enough action so that the illustrator can draw a new scene
on each page? Does my story move smoothly despite the shorter,
simpler sentences? Is there a rhythm to the writing that makes
this story enjoyable to read aloud?

5. Submit your story using either a traditional format (with
paragraph indentations) or a ragged right format (no paragraph
indentations; words are not flush with the right margin).

Here are examples from two of my easy-readers. Both are Level
2's, but each is from a different publisher. Note the difference
not only in sentence format but in the complexity of the
vocabulary:

From DINOSAUR PIZZA, Troll Communications, 1998:

It's the first day of school.
It's the worst day of school.
My best friend, Anna, moved away.
I have to wait for the bus alone.
Then I lose my lucky stegosaurus.
The one Anna gave me.
In class, everyone sits next to a best friend.
I'm stuck sitting next to the hamster cage.
At lunch, I have no one to share
my peanut butter-and-banana sandwiches.
Anna used to call them PBBs.

Here is an example from my book, HECTOR'S HICCUPS, due out from
Random House in June of 1999:

"Hic!" said Hector.
His brother, Carlos, stopped drawing.
"Did you hear that?" he called.
Their sister, Maria, looked out of the treehouse.
"I didn't hear anything," she said.
"Hic-Hic!" said Hector.
"I think it's coming from Hector," said Carlos.
Maria climbed down the tree.
[illustration note: she's carrying a toy doctor bag, as if making
a house call]
"Time for a visit from Doctor Maria," she said.
Maria opened her doctor kit.
"Stick out your tongue and say Ahhh, Hector," she said.
Hector stuck out his tongue and said "Hic!"

The second example is the format most publishers prefer. Note
how each line is presented to the reader in small "chunks" of
meaning, never giving the child too much to read or comprehend at
one time. Most publishers break each page into a maximum of 13
lines (average: 4-6 lines), with no more than 36-38 characters
to line of print. (Each letter, space or punctuation mark counts
as one character.)

Easy-readers are a bit difficult to write in the beginning. But
if you study these books, and write, write, write, you'll find
there's nothing more rewarding than starting a child onto a
lifetime of reading . . . nothing except maybe seeing your name on
the cover of the book!

==-----------------------------------------------------==
Lee Wardlaw is the award-winning author of 20 books for children,
ranging from picture books to young adult novels. Her newest
titles include _Bow-Wow Birthday_ (Boyds Mills Press), a picture
book illustrated by Arden Johnson-Petrov; and DINOSAUR PIZZA
(Troll), an easy-reader illustrated by Julie Durrell. Lee's web
page is at http://www.inkspot.com/author/lee/

Copyright (c) 1998 Lee Wardlaw.
=================================================================

WRITING FUNNY FOR MONEY
-----------------------------------------------------------------
by Donna Gephart <dgephart@msn.com>


If you've ever read a humorous greeting card or essay in a
magazine and thought, 'I can write something like that'...you're
right! Here are a few rules to help you get started.

A few basic humor writing rules
-------------------------------
1. Don't sit down and say, "I'm going to write something funny
now." Let the subject matter of your material guide you. Think
first about your topic, then about expressing those ideas in a
humorous way. Ideas come first; humor second.

2. You must edit humor ruthlessly, trimming all but essential
elements. Place punch lines at the end with nothing after
them.

3. Read humorists from past and present. Read greeting cards.
Look at gag cartoons. I subscribe to Funny Times
(www.funnytimes.com), a monthly collection of contemporary humor.


Humor Writing Reference Books
-----------------------------
COMEDY WRITING SECRETS, Melvin Helitzer
HOW TO WRITE AND SELL YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR, Gene Perret
THE ART OF COMEDY WRITING, Arthur Asa Berger
HOW TO WRITE AND SELL GREETING CARDS, BUMPER STICKERS,
T-SHIRTS AND OTHER FUN STUFF, Molly Wigand
Jam Packed Press, WRITE WELL AND SELL: GREETING CARDS,
Sandra Louden, P.O. Box 9701, Pittsburgh, PA 15229

On-line Resources
-----------------
http://www.geocities.com/~spanoudi/quote.html
(A collection of quotations, both humorous and inspirational)
http://www.laugh-lines.com/ (A clean weekly humor website)
http://www.stus.com (A large collection of cartoons and
information about cartooning)
http://iws.simplenet.com/humor/ (A collection of jokes)
http://www.greetingcard.org/gca/linksPublishers.htm
(List of greeting card publishers)

-----------
* FILLERS *
-----------
Fillers are short funny items, often one sentence or a couple
sentences of set up with one sentence as the punch line. Fillers
can also be light verse in which the last line has an unexpected
twist to keep readers laughing. Your best guide, as always, is
reading magazine fillers.

The best known market is Reader's Digest. Be sure to follow
submission guidelines in their magazine. Although they publish
original one-liners or fillers, they do buy reprints, probably
your best bet. Suggestion: sell your filler to a magazine that's
easier to break into, then send a tearsheet to Reader's Digest
for reprint.

Reader's Digest, Box 100, Pleasantville, NY 10572-0100 (Include
source's name, date and page number)

Other markets for one-liners, fillers and light verse
-----------------------------------------------------
National Enquirer, Lantana, FL 33464, Kathy Martin (pays $25 two
weeks after publication)

Saturday Evening Post, 1100 Waterway Blvd., Box 567,
Indianapolis, IN 46202, Steven Pettinga (Pays $15)

First for women, "You deserve a laugh," 270 Sylvan Ave.,
Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632

Many other specialty magazines use filler material. Check the
racks. The first filler I ever sold was for $5 to Police Times:
"Sign in Clothier's Window: We sell suits for the policeman's
ball; free altercations provided."

------------------------------
* CAPTIONS FOR GAG CARTOONS *
------------------------------
Hundreds of cartoonists sell them -- a cartoon illustration in a
square with a funny tagline underneath. Many cartoonists rely on
freelance writers to provide concepts. Study gag cartoons in
trade and consumer magazines before submitting. You'll find them
in Barron's, The Wall Street Journal, First for Women, Highlights
for Children, Reader's Digest and many others.

Don't draw the cartoon. Briefly describe the picture and type
your punch line on an index card. Type your name, address and
phone number on the back of each card you submit. Send batches of
ten to fifteen at a time.

Cartoonists pay writers between 20-33% of the money they receive
once a gag is published. (They receive between $50 and $400 for
each gag they sell.) They hold concepts for a very long time as
they draw and circulate ideas among various publications.

Here are a few cartoonists looking for freelance submissions:

1) Frank Tabor, 2817 N.E., 292nd Ave., Camas, WA 98607-9615,
(360) 834-3355 (generals, fishing, hunting, bartender, police,
optometry, canoes, kayaks, business and boating ) Pays 33%.

2) Dave Carpenter, Box 520, Emmetsburg, IA 50536, (712) 852-3725
(business) Pays 30%

3) Harley L. Schwadron, P.O. Box 1347, Ann Arbor, MI 48106
(business) Pays 25%

4) Francis H. Brummer, 601 Arnold Ave., Council Bluffs, IA 51503
(Travel, religious, family, hunting, fishing, research and
engineering, chemicals, environmental. Holidays: Valentine's
Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's Day and Father's Day. No
business gags needed.) Pays 25%

5) A.A. McCourt, P.O. Box 2438, DeSoto, TX 75123 (General,
family, medical, farm, hunting, fishing) Pays 25%

------------------
* GREETING CARDS *
------------------
Just like gag cartoons, you will submit greeting card ideas only
(not artwork) on index cards with your name, address and phone
number on the back. You should code each idea (e.g. BD-35 would
be the 35th birthday card you've written) and keep copies of
everything you send. Format for greeting cards is "O" (outside
copy) and "I" (inside copy).

O: Happy Birthday from the crazy one in the family.
I: Guess that doesn't narrow it down much, does it? (Oatmeal Studios)

Innovative birthday card ideas are most in demand. Christmas and
Valentine's Day cards are the most needed seasonals. Greeting
card companies pay from $50 -$150 per card idea for all rights.

For more information about writing and selling greeting cards,
check out The Writer (September 1998).

------------------------
* ESSAYS FOR MAGAZINES *
------------------------
Write about what excites, infuriates or delights you. For
example, if you're an avid runner, you might try a back page
essay for Runner's World. If you're a parent, you might write a
funny piece for Sesame Street Parents.

Study magazines. Humorous essays are sometimes found in the body
of the magazine, but most often on the last page. If there is a
magazine you'd like to write for, make sure the humor column is
not written by the same person every month.

When writing, be bold, innovative and honest. The humor will come
from employing the following techniques: exaggeration,
understatement, comparison, double meanings, etc. I've sold
essays about waging the war against fleas to Petlife, the horrors
of trying on bathing suits to Pool & Spa Living, surviving toilet
training two little boys to South Florida Parenting and
attempting to exercise after having children to Fitness.

Each essay should end with some sort of epiphany -- something
you've discovered, something that's changed you or someone else
in some way or some firm resolution you've made because of a
lesson you learned.

Write short. Make your point and get out. Don't repeat. It will
weaken your humor. Most back page essays run from 500-800 words.

It's fine to aim for national magazines, but don't ignore local
magazines and newspapers. Payment is lower, of course, but
opportunity to sell is greater. National magazines pay as high as
a dollar a word.

------------------
* HUMOROUS BOOKS *
------------------
If you have an innovative idea for a humor book, I suggest you
write a detailed proposal of your book with examples of your
writing rather than complete the entire manuscript. You can then
market your proposal to either agents or publishers.

The wait is usually long and the opportunities slim, but great
ideas can sell. Most companies pay a flat fee plus royalty,
although some pay a royalty or flat fee only. The total amount
you earn depends on the size of the company and success of your
book.

You'll find publishers in Writer's Market as well as by browsing
the humor bookshelves in stores.

Writing humor is a great way to bring joy into your life and the
life of others. It's also a great way to bring extra money into
your bank account.

==------------------------------------------------==
Donna Gephart worked as the editor of a greeting card company for
nearly seven years, and has sold humorous essays and fillers to
publications such as National Enquirer, Reader's Digest, Fitness,
Weight Watchers, Petlife and others. She has a humor column in
Pool & Spa Living Magazine and writes greeting cards on a
freelance basis. She has also sold a humor book to Great
Quotations Publishing.

Copyright (c) 1998 Donna Gephart.
=================================================================

W R I T E R S ' C L A S S I F I E D S

=================================================================
WEBSTORE FOR WRITERS includes the popular "Writers' Software
Store". Ready to be a master? See http://www.MasterFreelancer.com
=================================================================
The Writer's Nook (http://www.thewritersnook.com) is an on-line
workshop and resource site for writers. Most popular links are to
information on urban legends and hoaxes, acronyms and
abbreviations, markets, and web authoring help. Also, consider
joining the growing Writer's Nook Virtual Community.
=================================================================
Everything a writer needs to know about the problems of
Procrastination and Writers' Block. Read GET CREATIVE, NOT
DEPRESSED by Louis Birner, Ph.D. Trade paperback or electronic
editions. See http://www.xlibris.com/LouisBirner.html
=================================================================
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email to giveaway@inkspot.com with "dec98" in the subject header.
Three names will be picked to win classy bookmarks!
Deadline: Dec.20/98
=================================================================
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ENTIRE text of the newsletter is included (including credits and
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Autoresponder info (send any email to the following addresses)
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