Episode One-Point-Three: Screw Unto Others...
Pangea03
PANGEA:
"The Land That Time Ignored"
(A side-story to "A Tale of Two Wallets," by yours truly:
Jim Robert Bader)
(Inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi Kosuke Fujishima, Naoko Takeuchi & Others, with characters, ideas and situations created or suggested by my fellow fanfic writers DB Sommers, Ryan Anderson, T.H. Tiger (Peter Schell), Ted Hsu, Rann Aridorn, Bill Guiroff, Wade Tritschler, Mike Koos and Steve Thesken, take a bow, people!)
WARNING---OVER THE TOP BEHAVIOR AHEAD! CONTAINS SCENES OF A RAUNCHY AND HIGHLY SUGGESTIVE NATURE WITH TEENAGED CHARACTERS BETWEEN THE YEARS 16-20 INDULGING IN HIGHLY RISQUE BEHAVIOR THAT WOULD LIKELY OFFEND JOHN ASHCROFT. IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH JUNGLE-BOOK SCENARIOS THAT INVOLVE GIANT MONSTERS ATTEMPTING TO MUNCH DOWN ON INNOCENT YOUNG KIDS, THEN IT'S TIME TO PUNCH YOUR "A-TICKET" AND LOOK FOR THE EXIT. THIS WILL BE A WILD RIDE FROM HERE ON OUT, KIDDIES, AND DEFINITELY NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! YOU HAVE BEEN DULY WARNED!
(Set within the timeframe of Chapter 101 of my fanfic series, "A Tale of Two Wallets," between the time when the gang parted from Nekonlon China and their eventual arrival one week later back in Nerima)
FOR THOSE WHO CAME IN LATE:
Ranma is engaged to marry both Nabiki and Shampoo; Nabiki is an Apprenticed Lore Master and Shampoo is cursed to turn into a winged cat; Akane has wings and Ukyo turns into a boy and is engaged to Makoto (Sailor Jupiter), while Happosai is a handsome swain engaged to Miss Hinako; Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon) is romantically involved with Rei Hino (Sailor Mars) while Kodachi is carrying on a not-so-private affair with Kasumi, and Ryoga has just begun to get acquainted with Minako Aino. Everything else beyond that is purely coincidental.
Episode One-Point-Three.
Screw Unto Others...
"Look at that, Sempai!" Makoto pointed off to the side of the trail, "What in the heck do you think that is?"
Ukyo squinted his eyes a bit and tried to make out the hooded creature that was partially concealed within the shadow of a large baobab tree before saying, "Dunno, Sugar...but I can't much say I like the way he's looking our way. Better be on the alert in case he tries something."
"I'm not worried, Sempai," Makoto said confidently as she raised a hand that started to crackle a bit, "I can take of just about anything that messes with us...but I'll be on my guard just in case. Same with you?"
"Sugar, I was handling myself before I could crawl," Ukyo said confidently, smiling at his iinazuke with a certain fondness that had nothing to do with sizing up Makoto's formidable Senshi-powered lightning fetish, "Just don't underestimate any funny looking creatures. I kinda remember seeing a movie once that reminds me of this place, if you know what I'm saying."
"That I do, Sempai," Makoto gave her boyfriend an affectionate nod, "And I was going to say the same thing if you didn't. Think Spielberg ought to consider suing whoever created this play for copyright infringement?"
"More like it'd be the other way around, Mako-chan," Ukyo replied, "Got a feeling it's been around for a long, long time now, and not just because most of the wildlife here looks bigger than you."
The tall girl with the pony tail just eyed Ukyo with a smirk that was endearing, "They may be big, but not big enough that I can't cut them down to size, so unless there's anything here that's nastier than a youma, I don't think we'll have any real trouble."
Ukyo winced a bit and said, "Don't talk like that, Sugar. Everytime in a movie somebody says something dumb like that it always leads to trouble..."
"Are you calling me stupid?" Makoto frowned and pretended to pout, watching Ukyo closely for a reaction.
"Huh?" Ukyo blinked, "No, whatever brought that on? I just mean..."
"I know what you mean, Sempai," Makoto decided to drop the matter and took Ukyo's hand to reassure him, "And you're probably right...it was a dumb thing to say, like I was challenging the fates to find something to make this day interesting or something..."
A low, loud grumbling noise brought both of them up short, and as one they swiveled their eyes to take in the sight of a creature they had not even noticed standing there before this moment. It was BIG, as big as a house and had horns sticking out from its head and snout, and its neck was braced by a large flat collar-like surface that seemed to inflate its size a bit and would have served as passable armor. As close to the thing as they were it was incredible that they had not noticed it until nearly trampling over it, and as one Ukyo and Makoto backed away and took defensive stances, eyeing the thing warily as it seemed to glare back at them with a malevolence that was almost...human.
"You mean...like that?" Ukyo asked before he nervously swallowed.
"Ah...yeah, pretty much," Makoto said nervously, "Um...correct me if I'm wrong, Sempai...but isn't that supposed to be what they call a Triceratops?"
"How should I know?" Ukyo asked, "Do I look like I study dinosaurs for a hobby?"
"Uh...well, I did, I mean...I do like to study up on them," Makoto replied, "Sort of like a childhood hobby. The thing is...they're supposed to be vegetarians, right?"
"If you say so, Mako-chan," Ukyo softly replied.
"Then...why's it looking at us that way?" Makoto asked, licking her lips and judging the distance between them and the creature to be too near for a lightning burst.
Ukyo had been wondering the same thing, but then she heard a mewing noise and glanced off to the side to see the source of these emanations, "Oh...I get it. It's female, and we stumbled on its nest."
"Oh," Makoto swallowed thickly as she saw the baby dinosaurs mewing about next to the unhatched eggs that were their unborn siblings, "Er...sorry about that, Ma'am. I mean...we didn't mean to intrude or anything. We're just going to back away now and leave you and your babies alone, right?"
"Oh, absolutely," Ukyo agreed, "Don't mind us, Sugar, we'll just be going and..."
The Triceratops made a grunting noise and rose up on all four legs, looking as mad as a bull and in no mood to listen to further explanations. That was all the warning they needed for Ukyo and Makoto to get the hint and start reversing course as fast as they could manage. With a yelp they felt the ground begin to shake under their feet as the Triceratops went surging ahead with all three horns leveled in their direction and its maternal instincts flaring to full protective mode, meaning that it meant to skewer both Senshi and sex-cursed boy- girl on its points unless said teenagers beat feet in the opposite direction...
* * *
"Are you all right?" Ryoga asked of his blonde companion as Minako paused in mid-stride and turned a worried glance over one shoulder.
"Ah...kind of," Minako replied, "I just had the weirdest feeling...like Makoto was in trouble, or something..."
"Oh," Ryoga said before pausing to say, "Your friend, the tall one in the green dress?"
"Well, green's normally Mako-chan's color, like her eyes," Minako sighed wistfully, "I wish I knew where she was. I mean, she can handle herself under most circumstances, but in this place..."
"Oh," Ryoga said again, sensing more than the concern of one friend for another in the blonde's expression, but failing to draw the obvious conclusion from that evidence, "Well, I'm sure she'll be all right. At least...I think she's probably with Ukyo, who knows how to take care of herself, at least."
At the mention of Ukyo's name the blonde Senshi scowled fiercely and glared over her shoulder with a MOST annoyed expression, "That floozy better know how to behave herself around my Mako-chan. If I find out she's tried anything naughty..."
"Huh?" Ryoga asked with a puzzled expression.
The sour look vanished like morning fog as Minako turned a bright and sunny smile in his direction, "Oh, don't worry yourself about it, Hibiki-san, I'm sure you're right about that. I'm probably just worrying over nothing, but...well...with all the things that Makoto-chan and I've been through...it's only natural to worry about her, right?"
"I guess," Ryoga replied, finding himself overpowered by the megawattage of the blonde's fond expression, which prompted him to look away as he said, "Well, guess we'd better keep moving, then, if we want to find your friend and the others..."
"Right behind you, handsome," Minako agreed, only to pause as she glanced down, finding her feet would not obey her. She tried to move them only to find that she had been ensnared about her ankles, which prompted her to say, "Hey...what's...?"
The rest of what she would have said got cut off abruptly as something rose up from the ground and surrounded her one-second later. Minako gave a yelp as she was yanked off her feet and into the depths of something watery and odd-tasting, like a syrupy juice that engulfed her absolutely, even as the leaves of the plant that she had been standing on closed about to form a cocoon-like enclosure.
"Huh?" Ryoga turned around, "Did you say something, Minako-san? Minako-san? Hello? Where did she go all of a sudden? And where did this come from?"
He stared at the bulb-like flower that had replaced Minako, studying it with curiosity as though to marvel that he had not noticed it until now. It was taller than himself and shaped like an oval and had a waxy surface with bright coloration, but other than this it just looked like an oversized bulb, the kind you would expect to find in any standard garden.
"Now that's odd," Ryoga scratched behind his head and glanced around, "Where could she have gotten off to? I hope she didn't get lost, she's the only hope I've got of finding the others...huh?"
It belatedly occurred to him that the bulb was not as motionless now as he had previously imagined. In fact, it was shaking from inside as though something inside was trying to get out, and as he stared in wonder what this might mean a nagging hunch began to form in his mind, one that took a moment of thought to fully form, and when it did he promptly snapped his fingers.
"Now I know!" he smiled, "This is just like that flower I saw in that Ryunga- whatsis forest just outside of Tokyo. I wonder if they could be related?"
It is a known fact of botany that plants cannot facefault, but if this one could it might have considered doing so, if only from the way the boy seemed to be satisfied with that observation and was preparing to walk away in search of his missing companion.
Unfortunately for the plant, something inside its enclosure was making its presence known in a no-nonsense manner, and all at once it flared brightly from within its leafy depths, drawing Ryoga's attention back its way as he caught sight of a brief silhouette that shone through the walls of its containment, giving him a momentary impression of a woman's naked body swimming about in the plant's digestive juices.
There comes a point where even the slowest and dullest-witted creature can make an evolutionary leap to a higher level of consciousness, and thus arrive at a logical conclusion. Ryoga belatedly realized what he had been missing before: that the plant was exactly the right dimensions to contain a human body within it, and that the likeliest place for Minako Aino was inside the plant creature. That meant that his newfound female companion was in serious trouble and needed his assistance.
So he whipped out his belt-sword and hardened it to a straight edge, then sliced through the walls of the plant with the east one might have in pruning a daffodil. All at once the fluid contained within began spilling out of the creature, and so did a fully nude Minako, which prompted Ryoga to rush forward to catch her, risking getting splashed in the process.
He winced a bit before belatedly remembering that he no longer had the pig curse and thus could not be changed with cold water. Nonetheless he gathered Minako up into her arms and wondered what had become of her school uniform. She shivered and weakly reached out to him, half-drowned and obviously barely awake from her ordeal, but otherwise looking no worse for the ware (if a trifle pale by Ryoga's estimation).
"Easy there, I've got you," Ryoga said as he gathered the wet blonde up into his arms and cradled her gently, only slightly amazed that she felt as light to him as a feather.
"Cold...so cold...and yet it burned..." Minako gasped as she spat out whatever it was that she had swallowed from the creature, "Th-thank you, Ryoga-kun..."
"Ah...don't mention it," Ryoga said before glancing down and belatedly realizing what he was holding in his arms, and that Minako was without so much as a stitch of clothing, which thought turned his brain into guacamole. He stood there staring down at her naked breasts as a man might who had been turned to stone at the sight of them, and any second now he was certain to gush blood out of his nostrils.
"R-Ryoga-kun?" Minako asked softly, "Are...you all right?"
"Gah...ah...ahh...I...uh...that is..." Ryoga stammered nervously, wondering why the blood had not started gushing just yet.
Minako belatedly glanced down at herself then went, "Oh...no wonder...odd...I should have been in costume...guess...I was too weak to finish the transformation..."
"Uh...transformation," Ryoga was still a bit too numb to wonder what she meant by that.
Minako smiled at him and said, "But you saved me, Ryoga-kun...you saved my life...what can I do for you to repay you for such kindness?"
"Ah...hah?" Ryoga asked, his brain in virtual shutdown mode.
Minako seemed to grin more slyly his way, "I know...I know the perfect thing to repay you for rescuing me. Tell me...have you ever...done it before?"
"Ah...hah?" Ryoga faintly murmured, the words refusing to form within his cerebral cortex, let along take definable meaning.
"You haven't?" Minako's grin all but doubled, "That's great! I've never done it before either...but I'd be willing to do it with you...if you like me, that is. You do like me, don't you, Hibiki-san? Hibiki-san?"
All at once Minako felt the ground rush up to greet them, but as luck would have it she landed heavily on a flat-out unconscious Ryoga, who had fallen backwards once he fainted. Minako stared down at him in concern and asked, "Ryoga-kun?"
No reaction greeted her entreaty other than a blank, dull moan of witless non- comprehension.
"Ryoga-kun," Minako moaned in disappointment, but then a smile crossed her face as she said, "I know how to wake you up...I've read about this in the manga. There's a way of getting any man aroused with the right sort of incentive..."
Unaware that her behavior and judgement had been momentarily impaired by the juice of the plant (which same was shriveled up in a huddle after losing its precious "dinner," to say nothing of having its sack rudely cut open), Minako got up and started to drag Ryoga off towards the nearest bushes, forgetting about the sword-belt that had been instrumental in her rescue, and thus causing Ryoga's trousers to be partially yanked down by the friction of his movement. Minako wasted no time stripping them down the rest of the way then went to work like a feverish kitten in search of its mother's teat, albeit that the organ she sought was designed for an entirely different purpose than lactation. Though she had never attempted such a thing before in her life, Minako was familiar with the principle of fellatio, which was a favorite hot topic in many of her favorite comics. Though clumsy and uncertain at the beginning, she had enough of an instinctive knack for it that she was soon bobbing up and down with the flagging "pole" beginning to stiffen.
Ryoga awoke after only a few moments of this, conscious that there was some sort of creature attempting to eat him from down below, but when he saw what Minako was doing to him he nearly passed out all over, only held awake by the sense that his manhood would not permit him such an easy surrender.
"You're awake?" Minako grinned as she removed her mouth from his now rock-hard 'handle," then she pushed off of him and got herself positioned with her legs straddling his body as she said, "Good...this will be more fun if you're along for the right. Now, try and be gentle, I've never taken a man down there before, and you're big as a fireplug...so this could get a bit tight, if you know what I'm saying..."
Ryoga opened his mouth to protest, shut it again with a start as he saw Minako lower herself down onto his stiffened member, then a low moan escaped from him as he arched his back and felt his organ slide down deep into the moist reaches of her vagina. She only took him partly in the first time, but she had only eased back a little way before reversing course and lowering herself down on him again, this time taking him further than before, and so on and so forth until she managed at last to squeeze him all of the way inside her.
From that point on Minako was firmly in the driver's seat, taking her own sweet time while bouncing up and down over the "pole" that was Ryoga. Ryoga was overwhelmed by the intense sensations that she caused him as he instinctively reached up to grip her body in order to steady her atop him, only to have his hands intercepted mid-way as Minako proceeded to guide those hands to cup her breasts, which were themselves swelling up to full erection. Instinctively Ryoga moved his fingers and found those tantalizing mounds were as soft and firm to the touch as a pair of ripened grapefruit, yet when he fondled her Minako cooed and groaned with approval, encouraging him to further explore the dimensions of her body even as a part of him rose up inside her as she lowered and raised herself in steadily increasing tempo.
Ryoga could not quite wrap his mind around what his body was doing, yet his flesh seemed readily to understand the requirements being placed upon him and was responding in kind to the urgent needs expressed by Minako's body. A sense of unreality permeated the very realness of the blonde bobbing up and down atop him, and almost it felt to Ryoga as though he were an outside observer casually remarking upon the activities of someone else even as he felt the wonderful sensation of being desired and yearned for, a whole new experience to his awareness that brought a momentary abatement to his otherwise lonely existence.
But as much as the two of them seemed to be in a world all of their own, the outside world still existed and made its presence known with a beeping noise that momentarily distracted Ryoga and drew him out of his daze, causing him to look around and ask, "What was that?"
"What was what?" Minako asked before scowling as that beeping noise resounded again, and then she reached to her side and drew something out from her non- existent pocket, an object that looked like a compact of some sort, and with a look of annoyance she took the thing and hurled it away from her, not even looking where it wound up before resuming what she had been doing, heedless of the fact that someone else had been trying to page her...
* * *
"That's odd," Usagi remarked as she stared at her pocket communicator, then turned to her companions and said, "Minako's not responding either. I wonder if she and Makoto are in some sort of danger?"
"Entirely possible," said Ami, who was dressed in a blue-and-white fuku costume, even as Rei was similarly garbed in her white and red Senshi costume, "We know that the island is inhabited by a dangerous form of extinct wildlife, but given the way we all came down it is also possible that they landed somewhere remote and were hurt, so we ought to try locating them to see if they are in need of our assistance."
"I don't think that'll be necessary," Rei frowned, "I'm picking up weird vibes all over the place, but I can sense that Minako and Makoto are out there, and I don't think that they're in any immediate danger."
"What makes you say that?" Usagi asked of her best friend and lover.
"Think about it, Riceball-head," Rei said with an affectionate wink, "We saw them both with two really cute guys, and I felt Makoto transform to Sailor Jupiter at the same time we switched to our Senshi costumes. That means she survived and probably saved that bo-hunk she calls her Sempai, while if I know Minako-chan, she's probably out trying to score with that Ryoga guy. That means if we come looking for them now we'll just be cutting into their private action."
"Those two," Usagi made a face, "I can just hear what Luna or Artemis would say if they could see us now..."
"How true," Ami nodded, "And Luna especially will want to know why we couldn't stay together in such a dangerous place as this Pangea."
"Hey, you try sticking together when that blimp crashed into the side of a mountain," Rei retorted, "It's a good thing we had time enough to transform on the way down, but now we're stuck out in the middle of no where with monsters everywhere looking to eat us."
"Yeah, but wherever Minako and Makoto got off to, you'd think their first priority would be finding us instead of going off boy-chasing and getting lost in the process," Usagi frowned, "Why can't they be responsible, like me? This is no time to be sightseeing when we have to find that ship and learn if it's in any condition to get us off of this island."
Rei and Ami exchanged looks while refraining (by mutual consent) from commenting on that assertion. Instead Rei said, "C'mon, Riceball head, let's try and find out if the others survived the crash. We can check in on Minako and Makoto later, after we make sure we've got a ride back to civilization."
"We could also Senshi teleport if things become a bit too rough around here," Ami suggested.
"Yeah, but that would work for us, not for the rest of our friends, especially my cousin," Usagi noted, "Ranma doesn't have teleport powers, and the same goes for the rest of that crew..."
"And we can't hope to transport all of them by ourselves," Rei sighed, "Hate to admit it, Usagi-chan, but we're going to have to do things this time the hard way."
"I guess that's true," Ami lowered her chin and assumed a thoughtful expression, "One thing bothers me though, and that is the very existence of this island. I mean, how could creatures that have been extinct for millions of years the world over still survive in such a place? It defies all known logic, to say nothing of everything we know about the course of natural evolution."
"Well, they do exist, so we might as well get used to the idea," Usagi insisted, "One tried to take a bite out of me before we dusted him good, but he's probably got buddies just lurking to attack us from the bushes."
"Aw, poor baby," Rei clucked as she sidled up along Usagi and ran her fingers along the bared arm of her lover, causing Usagi to shudder a bit from the delightful contact, "Everybody and his aunt wants to eat my tasty little Bunny, but I get first dibs on tasting your sweet...."
"Ahem," Usagi hastily glanced at Ami then back at Rei again with a meaningful expression.
"Oh yeah," Rei sighed as she picked up Usagi's silent meaning, then she leaned forward and kissed her lover on the cheek, going a bit closer to her earlobe the next time before murmuring softly, "Later. Y'know, Minako and Makoto aren't the only ones who'd like to take a leisurely stroll around the island. I'll bet there's lots of nice place where we could get lose for a couple of hours..."
"I know," Usagi murmured back in the same low tone of murmur, and the two of them squeezed hands together before separating again even as they pretended nothing extraordinary had just happened.
Ami heaved another sigh, but this one mingled with a bittersweet note of wistful exaggeration. Who exactly did those two think they were fooling here whispering like that together and conspiring to snatch a moment together for some private hanky panky? As if Ami were not already feeling like a third wheel on a bicycle playing chaperone for her two best friends while out playing Tarzan. It was enough to make even the most mousy, nerdy high school girl gnash her teeth and plot her retribution. It was getting highly lonesome being the odd one out among their merry group of Senshi, and she, for one, was heartily sick of being the one without a boyfriend (at least since Gregg moved back to the states and stopped writing to her altogether).
But even as she started to feel the pangs of teenaged angst settle upon her shoulders her other senses picked up movement in the bushes, and then with a start she said, "Someone's coming this way."
"Eh?" both Usagi and Rei spoke together, drawn out of their own private world in time to see the figures who were approaching, one leading the way as the other followed on her heels, and with a start they discovered it was Kodachi and Kasumi with the dark haired girl holding her trademark ribbon as though it were a leash, the other end wrapped around Kasumi's wrists and waist as the latter happily strolled after the former.
"Salutations," Kodachi cheerfully called out, "I see you three survived by transforming into your Senshi disguises."
"Uh, yeah," Usagi blinked, stared at the ribbon, then at Kasumi, and then at Kodachi again as she asked, "Uh...why are you doing that?"
"Doing what?" Kodachi asked innocently, then turned as if to only just then notice the handiwork of her own ribbon, "Oh, you mean that?"
"Yeah," Rei replied, "What's the idea of tying Tendo-san up like that?"
"Oh, it's nothing really," Kasumi answered with a cheerful smile, "Kodachi-chan rescued me when we fell by snagging me with her ribbon, and she never bothered to untie me, not that I mind being at her mercy."
"Too true, my sweet," Kodachi cooed as she cupped the taller girl's cheek with her fingers, then tugged on the ribbon once again for emphasis as she said, "This is for Kasumi-chan's own good so we'll stay close and not be separated, otherwise my love might get herself lost, which would be ever-so-upsetting. I simply must protect my darling by seeing to it that she stays close at my side and well out of danger."
"Danger from who, that's what I'd like to know," Rei murmured faintly, giving the taller girl a tentative expression and silently remarking on Kasumi's placidly happy expression.
"Um, where are you going like that?" Usagi asked, unable to conceal a note of disquiet.
"We are in search of the airship of course," Kodachi answered, "We believe it came down over in that direction and we are investigating to see if it is still in serviceable shape. There might also be survivors in need of our assistance, and the least we can do is to render them what means are at our disposal."
"But how can you be so certain of the direction?" Ami asked.
"When Kodachi-chan rescued me she was suspended by one ribbon and supporting me with the other," Kasumi explained, "But we came in low over that last ridge and she was forced to abandon the airship in order to save the both of us, but we are very sure that it went down over in that general direction."
"Um...why are you going along with being led on a leash like that, Tendo-san?" Usagi asked, finally broaching the question that was on the minds of her fellow Senshi.
"Kodachi-chan caught me fair and square," Kasumi pleasantly replied, "That means it's her turn to do with me whatever she wants, and I don't mind that in the least. It will be my turn next time, and isn't that the way it ought to be with good friends like us?"
"I am sooo not going there," Rei murmured faintly, exchanging looks with an equally disquieted Usagi.
"Um...well, I suppose if that's the way it is for you," Ami remarked somewhat dubiously, watching as the leotard-wearing Kodachi resumed her trek through the jungle with a docile Kasumi dutifully following in her wake.
"Come along, Darling," Kodachi cooed, "We mustn't tarry long if we're to find our lost companions."
"Oh yes," Kasumi agreed with demure enthusiasm, "We mustn't keep the others waiting...Mistress."
The three Senshi hesitated a moment to watch the strange pair wander off, then Usagi noticed that Rei was eyeing her with a different, more speculative expression and she nervously asked, "What?"
"Oh, nothing," Rei mused, putting on a patently false look of innocence like a mask over her face.
"Don't give me that," Usagi scowled, "You were thinking about it, weren't you?"
"Thinking about what?" Rei asked slyly.
"About tying a leash around my waist and leading me around by the nose, that's what," Usagi growled, "You've been wanting to do that for a long time, I just know it."
"Whatever do you mean, Riceball head?" Rei smiled demurely, "How can you even imagine that I'd want to do a thing like that to you..."
"Would you two just stop!" Ami snapped, no longer able to bear listening to their romantic banter, "We have a lot more important things to worry about than some assinine games you want to play with one another. Stick to the business at hand before you go wandering off to start any more trouble!"
Rei and Usagi reacted with a start at this unexpected outburst from their normally soft-spoken and quiet longtime companion. They both caught the uncharacteristic flash of annoyance in Ami's blue eyes and seemed to take notice all of a sudden of other telltale signs that spoke volumes more than words could relate.
Their sudden quietude caught Ami by surprise as she found the focus of their attention shift her way, then with a surge of regret for her hasty display of temper she asked uneasily, "What?"
"Oh, I get it," Usagi said with a sudden leer, "We've been neglecting you, haven't we, Ami-chan?"
"So our resident nerd is feeling jealous and left out, eh?" Rei chuckled with an evil lilt to her tone and expression, "Well, I guess that means Usagi-chan and I have to do something about that, don't we?"
"Oh, absolutely," Usagi nodded with enthusiasm, "It's something we've been talking about doing for a long, long time, and it's for your own good, Ami- chan."
"What?" Ami asked in nervous confusion, "But...I..."
"Now, Ami-chan," Rei said in a sultry purr as she moved up to one side of the short haired girl while Usagi sidled up to her other side, and between them they cuddled in close and sandwiched Ami, who was unprepared for this sudden display of affection, or the amorous way in which her closest friends started to handle her with sensitive, affection-laced fingers.
"But...but..." Ami sputtered in dismay.
"Hush," Usagi cooed into her ear, "We won't hurt you, Ami-chan."
"We just want to make you feel better," Rei murmured softly, her breath tickling Ami's ear and neck while sending unexpected trembles of shivering delight up and down her spine, much to the latter girl's amazement.
"We've been feeling your pain for a very long time now," Usagi continued, as she stroked the cheek of her best friend while allowing her other hand to grope in an even more sensitive place, "And we want you to feel loved and appreciated, Ami-chan. After all, we're your our friend and we love you."
"Oh yes," Rei agreed as her hands moved to caress her fellow Senshi, "We both love you very much, and now we're going to show you how much we appreciate you and all you've done for us as a friend and a teammate."
"But...what about the others?" Ami asked, taken completely off-guard by this uncharacteristically hedonistic behavior on the part of her companions...and what was that peculiar scent that she was detecting all of a sudden, like a gentle perfume that was caressing her nostrils and making all her other senses tingle...?
The next minute she had her back to the trunk of a tree and was having a difficult time focusing on that question, for Usagi and Rei were doing things to her that quite put her mind to the side and caused her body to take over, reacting instinctively to the seductive allure of their charming stimulation...
* * *
Nabiki's Journal Continues:
I don't mind telling you that walking with Lotion through that primitive jungle was an experience unlike any other that I could imagine, almost like a walk back through time to an era before man was evolved and nature was predominant over all living things, be they very, very large or very small, almost like a web of interconnecting patterns that I could sense swirling all around us. I could literally feel the pulse and flow of rhythm of the Ki of all living and organic things permeating the air like a thick miso soup with everything swirling in the batter (unfortunate metaphor that, but I'll explain later why it comes to mind when I think back upon that particular lecture).
I was simultaneously aware of all things surrounding us at the same time that I was paying attention to the old woman at my side, and her voice carried a weight and significance far beyond mere sounds and what words can ordinarily convey. It's difficult to describe the experience, as though I was feeling her thoughts even as I struggled to comprehend the meaning of what she was seeking to explain for my understanding. I really don't know how to express here what it felt like stroking through those woods wearing practically next to nothing while the old woman hobbled along with her staff and yet somehow managed to pace me, even as her words flowed past and left me standing there kilometers behind their grasp, even as I struggle now to relate to you the main gist of her instruction.
Actually, to call what Lotion does a lecture is a gross disservice to the old lady. More like she hits you with a pointed barb then waits for you to absorb the blow before smacking you again with the follow-up question. She makes you think even while you wince and wonder why you put up with her mind games. She's more teasing than stern and playful while being assertive, and while she doesn't exactly talk like your opinions mean nothing she has this annoying way of implying that I should already know the stuff she gives me, like she's humoring my ignorance in the hopes that I'll suddenly blossom out and sprout like a tree of knowledge.
Anyway, there I was listening to her go on as she began by saying, "They say that life is a circle, but I think it's more like a figure eight reaching out in an ellipse to connect us all in the great cycle of existence. Do you think it strange that living things survive by eating other organisms and thriving at their expense? Every living thing that breathes, crawls or swims must consume other living matter in order to continue growing, breeding and adapting. For everything that lives, something must die to sustain it, yet there is no one-to- one equation for this. It is simply a matter of energy converting itself from one form to the other."
"Oh yeah?" I asked, "So if the dinosaur eats me it's just continuing the great cycle?"
"More or less," she responded to my sarcasm with her usual matter-of-fact nonchalance, "Though it is hardly that specific what the dinosaur eats since it is programmed by nature to consume the food that best fits its diet. A plant- eater survives on vegetation while a meat-eater must have animal flesh and an omnivore...well...they get to indulge themselves both ways. Rather like humans when you come down to it, even if our species is the greatest predator of all, the one who breeds and kills for our own convenience rather than to obey the simple dictates of nature."
"Yeah," I said, "But we eat lesser animals, we don't eat each other."
"Are you so certain of that?" she gave me the most peculiar glance before resuming her study of the surrounding jungle, "Throughout most of the history of our race human beings have adapted to whatever food source is available to you, and often there were periods when our ancestors had no other recourse but to eat the flesh of other human beings."
"Okay," I amended, "I remember reading that cannibalism was practiced in the old, old days of the War, but we've evolved past that and we don't need to do that stuff anymore. It's against all civilized standards of behavior..."
"Within your culture, perhaps," she replied, "But you Japanese have adapted to a diet of rice and other domestic grains with seafood your primary source of animal protein. For you the act would seem as unnatural as raising cattle in your own back yard for slaughter, but there are those who take it for granted that they are carnivorous by nature, and they see no reason to discriminate regardless of what you or I might have to say about the matter."
"Hey, eating a dumb animal is one thing," I insisted, "But I can't see any way you could condone eating an intelligent being..."
"Then tell me, Tendo-san," Lotion asked slyly, "Have you ever sampled whale meat?"
Now that time she got me, and I winced a bit in guilty reflection, "Okay...maybe there is that one exception, but it's a tradition for Japan, and I only did it that one time out of curiosity. I mean, you know how expensive whale meat is by the kilo? It's a rare treat where I come from, not to mention a part of our culture."
"Well, there you have it," she said, as though my statement had concluded the whole matter, "But my point is that life and death exist in a delicate balance, and you can't really have the one without the other. Human beings naturally want to live and survive to a ripe old age, but from the moment we are born we know that we are mortal and that death awaits us at the end of our journey. That knowledge consumes us and often drives us to behave in ways that our social leanings might otherwise discourage."
"You mean like the thrill of danger making us raunchy as rabbits just now?" I asked, remembering the odd way Shampoo had come onto me, as though the danger posed to us had been of negligible concern, in spite of the fact that about twenty metric tons of angry iguana had been storming past our perch and had nearly shaken the three of us loose from our tree limb.
"Partially, yes," Lotion replied, "But I wouldn't blame your wife's actions of a moment ago entirely upon a survival reflex. There are elements here on this island the like of which you cannot yet imagine, not least of which is the effect of a certain spore that fills the air this time of year, leaving you giddy and aroused without fully comprehending the reason."
"Oh," my eyes went round as I suddenly understood what the peculiar perfume-like scent was that I had been smelling all morning. Suddenly it all made sense why Shampoo had turned onto me with such suddenness...not that my lilac-haired girlfriend ever needs much of an excuse to get horny and naked.
"Still, you do raise an interesting point," Lotion continued, "The fear of death will often trigger in us an intense need to copulate, which is why more babies are born nine months after a traumatic event than at any other time of the year. The human organism is conditioned by nature to seek to perpetuate the continued existence of our race through any means conceivable, and conceiving young is usually the best long-term goal that serves this purpose. Understand, every human being who is alive today is descended from a long and unbroken line of such survivors, and in that regard you Japanese have been especially prolific...though I understand that, recently, the birthrate has been going down as a major consequence of industrialization."
"You mean fewer babies because more women are getting jobs and postponing raising families and all that?" I asked, remembering a magazine article that I had recently read on that subject.
"That and the fact that there is little need for you to have large families, let alone an economy that can sustain an endless birthrate," Lotion noted, "To all things there is a finite total, such as the maximum occupancy of the planet itself, which is seriously out of balance."
"Right," I said, "And what woman in her right mind wants to endanger her health by having lots and lots of babies?"
"Some women have little choice over the matter," Lotion answered soberly, "Some are forced to give birth with little consent on their part over the matter, while others are conditioned by culture and belief to suborn their roles in life to that of an egg-laying baby factory. In part this is a holdover from times when it was necessary to have large families to sustain the population, but with the advent of modern medicines the child mortality rate has declined and the average lifespan has greatly expanded. Therefore there is no longer a need for women to consider themselves exclusively as mothers, even while it does remain their primary biological function."
"Biological function?" I replied, finding that term just a little too clinical for my easy comfort.
"Yes," my mentor replied, "Put in its starkest terms, giving birth is the primary biological function of any given species. How else can we pass on our genetic inheritance from one generation to the next? If it were otherwise, then we all might just as well cease struggling to define our own existence, and there would be no future generations to worry about the issues that obsessed us within our own lifetime."
"That's a heck of a thing to hear coming from an Amazon," I said, "Are you meaning to tell me that, with all your history of 'Woman-First' politics, you still see women as nothing more than a means of propagating the human race?"
"Not exclusively, no," she replied, "But only a fool denies the central role of reproduction as the core basis of society, and only a great fool mistakes a woman's function as degrading. We are social animals who have adapted a complex set of rules and values that are grounded upon the importance of the family as the basic root unit and cornerstone of society itself. Even Amazons acknowledge that the role of motherhood is the most basic human experience imaginable, even if we refuse to be limited to the stereotypes of a homemaker and housewife. Well...all except for that lot living off on that island they named New Themiscyra, but we hardly ever have dealings with that branch of the Amazon line anymore, and besides...if you ask me, being immortal has tended to make them a bit too otherworldly and self-important. You hardly need babies if no one ever grows old or dies, and that really isn't relevant to the point of my current lesson."
"And what is?" I asked naively, as if I wasn't expecting to play the role of straight-woman in this lecture.
"That motherhood is a lofty role for a woman's life, but far from an exclusive one," she noted with a sly glance in my direction, "Understand, not every woman is cut out the play the part of a mother, and some are afflicted with infertility, or else they choose not to get pregnant and pursue careers and goals that are exclusive to a maternal lifestyle. Some choose to enter relationships for which the possibility of offspring is all but unthinkable, yet these women, too, serve a necessary biological function that helps in the overall perpetuation of the species."
"How so?" I asked, "I mean...if a woman doesn't have a baby, how does that fit in with what you were just saying about how important it is to be a mother?"
"Tell me, Tendo-san," she asked matter-of-factly, "Are you familiar with a theory currently in circulation among biological circles termed, 'The Selfish Gene?'"
"Ah...kind of," I replied, recalling an article I had once glanced at that bore a similar title.
"The theory holds that we are genetically predisposed to seek immortality through our genes by means of a complex formula worked out by evolution over the countless millennia that it took to evolve from an amoeba to the present," she began, "According to this theory, our genes seek to perpetuate themselves by insuring that some copy of themselves is allowed to reproduce even if it calls for the death of an individual or group, that some genes are even pre-programmed with the intent of self-destruction in order to insure that cousin branches will continue."
I scratched my head and thought about this, "You mean, like, if a mother sees her baby in danger she'll sacrifice herself to save him...and stuff like that?"
"Partially," my Sensei replied, "That is one expression of the self-sacrificing nature of the Selfish Gene: that a parent will die to protect his or her offspring. But sometimes it works the other way around, such as when a child proves less than viable or might even be a detriment to the survival of the parent. Infanticide evolved as an early form of birth control where parents choose to kill their babies in order to insure that they themselves will survive to carry new babies to term in the future."
I had to shudder a bit at the cold and clinical way she described this, thinking what it would be like to be that baby deemed "unnecessary" by my parents. In truth, many societies considered girl babies to be a curse rather than a blessing, and in many parts of China they still carry on the practice of drowning young girls who might become a burden...or---in the more advanced parts of the mainland---use ultrasound techniques to determine the sex of a baby then abort the kid if she turns out to be female. Ugly. I mean...what if Daddy had felt having three daughters and no son was some kind of slight to his manhood and insisted on having a son by aborting us in the womb? I may support the right of a woman to choose and all that, but I also have to admit I was none too comfortable with that notion...
"In truth," Lotion continued, "The belief that women are inferior to men has long fueled the quiet rage of societies that openly oppress their female populations. Women are the means to an end by the lights of such thinking, the ones who do the menial labor of keeping a house and home intact, and a way of relieving sexual tensions when a man feels the need of flexing his organ. In many parts of the world they have even codified this belief into their religious systems and view the liberation of women to be an evil of Western colonial thinking. That a woman might just as easily become a doctor, lawyer or politician hardly even fits into this narrowly provincial mindset...as far as Paternalistic clerics are concerned, their Paternal God has spoken and we all have to shut up about it and accept our role as docile domestics. Small wonder my ancestors said to hell with such nonsense and chose to live in a society where a woman is appreciated as more than a set of tits with a womb."
"And where men can be valued as sex objects and domestics," I naturally pointed out.
"That goes without saying," she said with a casual air that I suspect was half- feigned, though I would be hard pressed to have detected a smirk that implied that she found the gender reversal more amusing than sacrosanct, "Of course we don't prevent a man from becoming a warrior or pursuing a skill for which he has natural talent, we just don't take them all that seriously, especially when it comes to matters of politics and council."
"Somehow I don't see how there's any great difference from one sex dominating the other," I admitted.
"There is one major difference," Lotion pointed out, "We don't deny our biological role, but we don't obsess about it either. We accept that a woman who gives birth is contributing a valuable asset to society in the form of a new generation of warriors and craftswomen. In theory all Amazons are equal to one another, but some are more equal than others and the word we give to them is Mothers."
"So how does this figure in to our genes being selfish?" I asked to steer us back to the point she was raising a minute ago.
"That whether a child dies to save a parent or a parent gives their life to save a child matters about the same in the great equation of the survival of a species," she resumed, "The point is that one generation passes on their legacy to the next, and so on. In larger terms the selfish genes might compel a family member to give their lives for the sake of another member of the larger group, or a friend might offer her life up to save that of a companion in an extended sense of preserving their own genetics. The Theory even goes so far as to explain how warriors bond to form unbreakable units who will give their lives in great numbers for the sake of tribe or nation. Somehow the legacy of the group must continue, and preserving the greater lineage of a collective inheritance is a goal that justifies any extreme that might be undertaken. Of course, this also has the negative downside of creating an 'Us-versus-Them' mentality where we view the genetic legacy of a rival group to be a threat to our survival, and one tribe might go to war with the other to prevent the legacy of an enemy from continuing to the next generation."
"Is that, like, why we have genocidal wars and ethnic cleansing?" I asked, "Because we want our group to go on while removing the competition?"
"Exactly," Lotion answered, "But whether you view your tribe as superior or more deserving than another, at root basis we are all human beings and have a larger collective sense to protect the existence of the overall species. So, if human beings of any stripe or nation were to come into contact with a hostile alien race bent on our destruction, we would tend to forget all about our differences and political leanings and band together to defend our own species even at the cost of exterminating the other. Of course, that is an extreme scenario with a low probability of occurrence, but not outside of the realm of possibility. I merely raise it here in the interest of making an example."
"Okay," I said, "So our genes want to live and we're all just hunks of protoplasm that serve to further their ends. So there's no real romance the world, no love or loyalty beyond our sexual attraction?"
"Now I most certainly did not say anything of that sort here," Lotion said stiffly, "A conclusion such as that is absolutely not justified on the basis of my argument. Besides, I did say that it was only a theory, not one that explains everything that there is to know about human behavior."
"All right then," I said, "So what part does romance serve if it's not a purely biological function?"
"A spiritual function, of course," she replied as though the answer were self- evident, "Biologists tend to have a rather clinical view of human interaction, and they don't acknowledge the existence of a soul out of some silly belief that they will be contaminating their science to acknowledge the source of all religion. Emotions are more than just the result of hormonal excretions playing hob with the chemistry of our minds and bodies, Tendo-san. They are expressions of a fundamental level of existence that goes well beyond the limits of the flesh, but...that is getting way off the subject here. We can save that issue for another lesson...after you have learned to appreciate the value of the lesson that is currently at hand."
"Okay," I said, playing along with her cue, "So what is the point of all this anyway? So we're breeding animals, and without us the human species would become extinct. So what do selfish genes have to do with us in the here-and-now present?"
"Instinct," she answered immediately, "Selfish genes are the instinctual side of human behavior. The higher values of social consciousness resides upon a gross foundation of sweltering hormonal and biological urges that most of us remain only semi-conscious or semi-aware about, rather like the foundations of a house that has been built in an earthquake zone. A strong foundation can whether the worst of tremblers, but a weak foundation will tend to liquify and swallow you whole, so it is therefore important to acknowledge the importance of the body before attempting to transcend it."
"I guess that makes sense," I said, "So, in other words, our animal side is a hard-wired collection of deep-rooted urges that have been conditioned in us by thousands and thousands of years of evolution. So we're modern primates who've evolved out of the muck of our past to form a greater consciousness. Is that what you're trying to get me to say here?"
"That is one step upon a very long ladder that I am proud to see you surmount," she beamed sagely, "You cannot build a house without knowing what ground you set your posts into; similarly you cannot evolve beyond your animal side until you come to terms with the nature of your animalistic urges. That is what I am trying to help you come to terms with here...a basic acceptance of your animal side and an awareness of what it entails and how it conditions your behavior."
"All right," I said, "I'm game. What am I supposed to already know about being an animal, Sensei?"
"Allow me to make this observation," Lotion answered, "Before I met you, you were a shallow, ignorant young girl who badly underestimated your own resources and counted yourself as ordinary, albeit unusually intelligent for your age group. You were mired in self-interest and materialism, conscious only of what you could touch, taste, hear, smell and feel with your root five senses. You had a boyfriend who puzzled and infuriated you at times while his manly presence triggered deep rooted needs and a certain yearning that was tempting you away from your closet life as a sheltered bookee. You had also discovered a sense of your own bisexual identity and were struggling to come to terms with the concept of having both a girlfriend and a boyfriend who desired you in equal measure. You had a sister who was a mother to you and another sister who was almost like a younger brother, while your father was an emotional basket case who depended upon you girls to run a house that was, in part, also like a mausoleum."
I winced at that---I mean, I seriously and literally WINCED! That description covered so many angles that I didn't know which part embarrassed me the most, recalling as I did the swirling chaos and confusion that was my life before the day Lotion chose me for her apprentice.
"And now?" I asked, rather desperately hoping to change the subject.
"Now you are my student and you have only just begun to walk in the path of enlightenment and understanding," she said serenely, "Your emotional scars have faded, you no longer keep others at a distance and you freely confess to yourself that you care about another who makes your world seem special and with whom you intend to build a future. You have even come to accept the validity of Shampoo's status within your three-way marriage, and you look forward to the time when she will be having her baby, at which point you and your husband will exult as though you had an equal part in her conception."
"Because our genes...Ranma's genes...are a part of her?" I asked, and at once I felt that it was true, for how could I fail to love any part of him, especially in the form of Shampoo's daughter?
"And one day you will have offspring of your own via your husband," Lotion said sagely, "And Shampoo will celebrate your triumph with you as though she were the one who fathered your offspring. It is all the same within your family circle...you share one legacy and identity now, you are effectively a unit."
"I guess that's so," I said, and knew that it was, just as I know now that I love Shampoo and would defend her with my life, and that I know without question that she'd offer her life for me, and we'd both do the same for Ranma, and for any offspring the three of us produce together.
Of course I didn't realize then what a mess we'd be heading into within the next few hours, but as I think back on Lotion's lecture I understand fully now what messages she was trying to convey to me, and what I needed to learn from her to prepare me for my ordeal in the near future. Of course the old biddy could have come right out and warned me what to look out for, but what's the fun of that, right? I mean, so I go from the fire to the cooking pot screaming all the way, is that any reason for me to feel resentful? Of course not.
Just the same, one of these days, I'm going to find a way to get even with that old hag, just as soon as I can think of something appropriate to pull on her one of these days. Maybe stick her with babysitting duties for our kids, or something equally sadistic. Either way I should have known I was heading into trouble long before I wound up in the middle of that damned pseudo-village playing missionary to their chief, and I don't mean that figuratively as I can still remember what it felt like to be up to my shoulders in the broth of my own steaming juices...
Continued.
Comments/Criticisms/Selfish Gene Therapy: shadowmane@ridgenet.net
What sort of a mess are Nabiki and company headed into, and how do they survive the coming trial by fire and dice? Will Ukyo and Makoto survive a rampaging mother Triceratops, and will Ryoga survive Minako? Will Ami remember to remind her friends that they need to get on the move before something else decides to have the three of them for dinner, and what of Akane, who was last seen headed for the rocks? Will Ranma be safe around Shampoo, or is that a silly, rhetorical question? Find out the answer to these and other questions in: "Victims of Biology," or, "The Stoned Age!" Be there!
