Klonoa: Project NEON Moo
Fair warning! This is crazy, weird stuff tossed together in the middle of the morning based on a game that you PROBABLY haven't played. It is based on Klonoa, a platform game for the Playstation released by Namco awhile back. As such, all the characters in here belong to Namco, I assume, and I just twisted them for my own bizarre purposes... thanks...
Project NEON Moo
A Very Strange Klonoa #FanFiction
By Orrin "Mordaxy" Smith
mordaxy@powwwer.net
"It is nearly complete, m'Lord," Joka said, his hands deftly moving across a small panel covered in nobs and switches. Well, deftly, leastwise, until his fingers ran afowl of one another, tripping themselves up and sending his hands crashing into a mass of levers affixed to the side of the panel.
Ghadius observed silently from the shadows, occaisionally taking a bite out of the Swiss Roll held in his disembodied right hand. As he watched, Joka worked to get his act back together, pulling apart his hands, his fingers having become entangled in their attempts at working the panel. Joka then stepped back and examined the panel with a careful eye. And continued examining it, occaisionally scratching his head. After a time, it became obvious that he had forgotten what he was doing. With a sigh, Ghadius popped the last bit of the pastry into his mouth, stepped forward, and pulled down a large, green-handled lever.
A bar of small round lights across the top of the panel flickered on slowly, the panel emitting a low hum. A sound like thunder began to build from somewhere beneath the floor, the huge machine to which the panel was attached began to shake slightly. Fluorescently glowing liquid of varying colors began to fill tubes that connected to the huge machine. The machine's central cylinder began to rotate with a groan. As a thick window passed by them, Joka and Ghadius could see the small, primarily red Moo that was their experiment's subject. It looked a little nervous, but primarily oblivious. Then the liquids began pouring into the cylinder, and its rotation took the window out of their line of sight again.
A variety of strange noises began to issue from the cylinder. Ghadius produced another Swiss Roll from somewhere in his robe and took a bite. The cylinder made it's way around again, this time the window had been filled with oddly glowing, vaguely greenish liquid. The thundering in the floor began to grow louder. Joka looked nervous. Ghadius took another bite of his Swiss Roll. The cylinder turned again. Suddenly, from somewhere far down in the depths of the place, somewhere that sounded like miles below their feet, there was a loud crack, like the sound of a metal piston striking a metal surface. The cylinder stopped its rotation. Joka and Ghadius looked on expectantly.
A hiss of steam, and the cylinder's sides heaved out slightly. Another hiss, and the cylinder droped open like a flower, spilling the noxious green liquid out the sides into specially placed grills in the floor (and a bit onto Joka's shoe). There was a bright glow, and as it began to fade, a shape could be made out. It was shaped like the same Moo that had gone in earlier, but it was not. It had that Moo's shell, it's form, but it glowed with the burning fire of a thousand suns. Or at least a really bright neon sign.
It's skin had changed, from the simple, dull reddish color it had possessed previously to a blazing purple. It's face was green, it's eyes burned red like the fires of something red. It flexed glowing orange fingers against its blue hands. It turned toward them, glowing so brightly it seemed two dimensional, as if something that cast such energy could not have depth or texture. It smiled. Ghadius took another bite of his Swiss Roll. Outside, the wind blew.
*****
Klonoa was laying on the roof of a random house in Breezgale. He wasn't even sure whose house it was, exactly, nor did he care particularly. He doubted they would much mind, whoever they were. His ring lay beside him on the roof, Huepow floating above it.
Suddenly, Klonoa sat up. "I sense a disturbance in the Force!" he announced. Huepow blinked at him confusedly.
"Er... um... I mean, something is wrong, listen to the wind!"
Huepow stopped and listened carefully to the wind. The wind was blowing. He listened VERY carefully. It sounded like wind. He informed Klonoa as much. Klonoa sighed, muttered something about a device and then hopped down from the roof, grabbing the ring as he dropped to the ground. Huepow followed.
"Where are we going?" Huepow demanded.
"We're gonna go investigate the wind!" Klonoa replied.
"Ri-i-ight..."
Klonoa sighed. "Just come on..."
*****
Klonoa and Huepow had been walking (well, Klonoa had been walking, Huepow had been either floating or hiding out in the ring) for... awhile... when suddenly they rounded a bend in a mountain pass and came upon an odd vista stretched out before them. Jutting out from the side of the mountain was a rather large metal structure that looked something like an observatory. Only not. And sideways. Attached to it was a chain of unconnected, floating, small metal islands that led up to a large floating, gear-shaped structure, also metal, that appeared to be anchored by nothing, merely hanging in the air.
"Look, that must be what's making the wind so odd!" Klonoa said, pointing.
"Why?" Huepow asked.
"Cuz it's a great big thingy in the sky that wasn't there earlier! Work with me here!"
With a suppressed sigh, Huepow followed Klonoa as he jogged toward the squatting structure on the side of the mountain. He banged boldly on the huge metal front doors. A small panel slid open, and a Moo's face poked out and looked at them quizzically. Klonoa looked back.
The Moo continued to look at Klonoa. Klonoa, in turn, proceeded to look at the Moo. This went on for some time. Huepow quickly got bored and went to skip rocks up the side of the mountain. This was boring as well, however, and provided little respite. After awhile, he went back. Klonoa and the Moo were still staring at one another.
"What the devil is going on here?" Huepow finally asked.
"We're having a staring contest to determine whether he lets us in," Klonoa replied.
Huepow sighed, then suddenly blew a gust of wind into the Moo's face. The Moo not only blinked, but also sneezed and fell over. "There," Huepow said, "you won."
Apparently the Moo agreed, as the metal door swung inward and they walked by in safety, the Moo merely hanging his head and looking rather shamefaced. They picked their way through the amazingly straightforward hallways of the strange building. Klonoa was taken aback. He wasn't used to getting anywhere without having to backtrack all over the place, usually looking for keys. This place was almost so simple he got lost because he kept assuming he would have to backtrack when he didn't. On these occaisions, the long-suffering Huepow would point him back in the right direction.
Eventually, they came to a huge, open archway of a door, leading out into the sky. The floating, unchained islands were just beyond it. A sign stood next to the doorway reading, in roughly painted red letters, 'Please no Giant Moos or Armored Moos (and certainly no Giant Armored Moos) on the walkway, they have a tendency to collapse. Thank you.' Klonoa and Huepow both read this, giving each other grimacing looks at the part about 'a tendency to collapse', but Klonoa would hear nothing on the idea of turning around, and so they blazed on ahead, Klona leaping deftly from island to island and Huepow taking desperate refuge in the ring.
Shortly, Klonoa managed to clear all the islandlets without any of them plunging into the Great Below (actually, just a really long drop down to some river or another... in some valley or another). They reached the outer doors of the large gear-shaped building floating in the sky. They had yet to come across any enemies. Klonoa was getting REALLY nervous. Then, they heard noises.
"EEEK!!! We've created a monster!" The voice was vaguely familiar. Actually, they knew exactly who it was. It was Joka. There followed a variety of crashing noises. Klonoa and Huepow followed the sounds, and eventually came out on a large balcony (with parapets for some odd reason) overlooking a round room in the center of the gear-shaped building. The room contained a lot of complex looking machinery, a very agitated Joka who was hopping around, a Ghadius in the corner eating a Swiss Roll and surrounded by cast off wrappers of the same, and a very large, very neon, very glowing Moo who was busily eating a bench. As it finished off the bench, it grew a great deal larger, and the building gave an actual detectible heave downward.
"We're all going to DIE!!!" Joka shouted mournfully.
The neon Moo proceeded to much on a wall support. Klonoa and Huepow looked at the Moo then at one another. The building lurched downward once more, and Joka started to cry.
"I think we should let them handle this," Klonoa said softly.
"For once, I totally agree," Huepow replied.
The two of them nodded to one another and took off running. Well, Klonoa was running, while Huepow... you get the idea by now. They flew out of the gear-shaped structure, barreled down the various floating platforms, sped out of the small structure on the mountainside, past the disgaced door-Moo, and down the mountainside toward Breezgale. They were about halfway there when the huge gear in the sky gave a last wrenching groan and fell into the valley. Klonoa and Huepow exchanged another glance, shrugged, and slowed to a walk as they headed back to Breezegale to spend the rest of the day laying on the roofs of randomly chosen houses.
-- Orrin "Mordaxy" Smith
mordaxy@powwwer.net
ICQ # 36595002 'Mordaxy'
www.powwwer.net/~mordaxy
It is a #FanFiction...
