Anime Hospital Episode six: Just B-ko's
Anime Hospital Episode six: Just B-ko's
"Otakus!" Toni grumbled. "This time they've gone too far!"
"Hm?" Heather said as she approached the front desk. She had a few files to deliver to various doctors, but if there was something interesting to talk about, she saw no reason not to stand around for a bit. After all, Mike was at the far end of the north wing, so there was no danger of him catching her milling around. "What about otakus?"
Toni gave the nurse an annoyed look when she leaned on the desk with an elbow. "We have to endure C-ko for a while, and it's all their fault!" She extended a hand toward the waiting room, where dozens, possible hundreds of fans were milling about as though they were lost souls. "Look at them, acting as though it were the end of the world and never once thinking that if they hadn't been so stupid it never would have happened in the first place!"
While Heather was usually bored with any news that had anything to do with othakus, Toni had succeeded in grabbing her interest.
"What do you mean? What did they do?" she asked, leaning closer.
Toni's face twisted into an expression of disgust. She could have really gone for a jelly donut right then, but with so many people hanging around, she couldn't risk it. She'd have to wait for her lunch break before she could enjoy her favorite treat. "Those idiots went and devoted an annual holiday to her. She cooked up so much food that she made herself sick tasting it all to see if she got it all right. It's just like I've always said, 'The only place stupidity and persistence lands you is in the hospital.'"
Heather looked at the huge croud of otakus, moaning and crying over their ill idol. "They gave her a holiday all her own?" she asked. "What'd they call it?"
Toni winced and grumbled something. "You sure you want to know?"
Heather considered that. "Ah, go ahead and hit me with it."
"C-ko de Mayo."
It was Heather's turn to wince. "You were right. I didn't want to know."
Toni gave one more glare in the otaku's direction. "Bloody, stupid men with nothing better to do with their time than drool over animated characters..." she mumbled half to herself.
"The ladies can be just as bad," Heather reminded her.
"No surprise hearing that from you."
"Can I help it if I'm fashionable?" Heather said defensively. "Besides, remember when Kurama and Hiei were both sick at the same time?"
Toni looked at the dreamy-eyed expression on Heather's face and said, "How could I forget that nightmare? As I recall, you managed to to give sponge baths to both of them."
Heather giggled and looked at the sour expression on Toni's face. "So? What's wrong with that?"
"You didn't use a sponge."
Mike did not look very happy when he finally showed up at the front desk. "Where has she gone off to now?" he said.
"You mean Heather?" Toni asked. "She said she had some things to do in the east wing."
"I've been looking for Nurse Farley all day, and she always seems to avoid me. She knows this is nurse evaluation day. Why does she always do this?" He stormed off down the east hall, and the look on his face caused quite a number of doctors and nurses to decide they suddenly needed to be somewhere other than near him.
Once he was out of sight, Heather rose from behind Toni's desk. She was munching on a jelly donut. Toni gave her a baleful look, snatched the donut away and whapped her on the head with a clipboard.
"Ow!" Heather complained. "All right, all right." She rummaged through her purse and withdrew several bills. "Thanks for covering up for me."
Toni was meticulously shaving off a thin section of the muched donut so that as much of it could be saved as possible. "Twice that now," she said. "The original deal didn't cover my donuts.
Heather looked annoyed, but reached into her purse again. "I hate nurse evaluation day. Mike's always so strict about it."
Toni looked at her again with a slight smirk and said,"You want a good excuse that'll keep you away from Mike the rest of the day?"
Heather's face lit up, but then she glanced protectively at her purse. "Maybe," she said.
"No charge," Toni assured her.
"Please!" Heather said, falling to one knee and taking two handfulls of Toni's skirt while she begged.
Toni put her hands on her hips and said, "Stop being so pitiful." With one fluid motion, she kicked on of her drawers and it calmly slid open. Inside, scrunched up in a fetal position, was Toni's daughter. Toni reached inside and lifted her sleeping daughter out of it. "Your father was worried sick about you, you know that?"
Billie was trying to look guilty and wounded at the same time. It wasn't working. "How'd you know?" she asked.
Toni brought her daughter right to her face and with a feral look in her face she said, "I know everything."
Billie grew appropriately terrified and was shaking slightly when Toni set her down. The beleagured mother looked at Heather and said, "Take her on a tour of the hospital. She's been bugging me for months about it, so I figure this would be a good way to get her to shut up."
Heather looked down at the child, who's face had suddenly grown hopeful beyond compare. Suppressing a sigh, she said, "All right."
"Yay!" Billie immediately shouted. "I get to see the Animes!"
This immediately got the attention of all the otakus who were sitting in the lobby, and they began to approach the front desk. A hard glare from Toni sent them back to their seats. "Make sure nobody else finds out she's mine, you got that?" she warned the departing nurse.
After they faded from view, Toni breathed a sigh of relief. Then, when she glaced up, she nearly choked. A-ko and B-ko were both approaching the desk, the only thing breaking up the looks of concern on their faces being the glares they gave each other.
"I'm here to see C-ko," they both said in unision.
"Why am I not surprised?" Toni asked.
"When am I gonna get to see the Animes?" Billie complained.
"Around here, it's just a matter of time." Heather assured her.
As if on cue, Gally stepped out of her room. Like all the other patients, she was dressed in a flimsy hospital gown. upon sighting Heather, she approached her and said, "Nurse, I'd like to request another room."
"Gally!" Billie said excitedly. "I have all your adventures!" She began to rummage through her little sack. "Here's your first issue. Sign it, please!"
While the cybernettic girl obliged the rambunctous fan,Heather asked, "What's wrong with your room?"
"It's my roommate. She keeps trying to examine me and take me apart to see how I'm put together."
Heather started flipping through her clipboard. "Yung-Freud? No wonder. All right, I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you," Gally said, and went back into her room."
"Wow! Yung-Freud's in there too! I want her autograph!" She started to head for the door, but Heather caught her and said, "We don't disturb the patients. Let's keep heading this way-" Heather suddenly stopped in mid-stride and took a step back to the door they had just passed. "Shin, from Universe 88." she breathed. She looked back at Billie and said, "On the other hand, why don't you go ahead and have fun on your own. Just don't leave this hallway, understand?"
Billie nodded eagerly.
Heather chucked to herself and said, "I won't be long," before she slipped into the room.
Billie just stood still for a long moment, feeling as if she would explode with excitement. She was going to meet all the Anime's in the hospital. With a heartfelt squeal, she started to run off down the hall, wondering who she'd meet first. The squeal was cut short, though, when she was caught from behind.
With a sudden yelp, she came to an abrupt halt, and when she looked up, she saw Pam looking down at her, waving the finger of her free hand in front of her in an "ah-ah-ah," manner.
"Darn," Billie said, and hung her head in defeat.
B-ko and A-ko were both standing outside of C-ko's room, and they were arguing about who would get to see her first.
"It should be me, I've known her longer," A-ko insisted.
"Oh yeah, well I care more about her than you do," B-ko shot back.
Suddenly Mike showed up and said, "Hey, now, what's all this about?"
A-ko and B-ko both turned to look at him, and as soon as they laid eyes on him, their scowls faded away. Their hands clasped together in front of them and the both sighed. "Hi,Nurse Jones," they said together.
Mike looked at the expressions on both of their faces and began to blush. "Er, ladies, are you here to see a friend?"
B-ko snapped out of it first at those words. She turned and said, "Yes, I'm here to lend my support and love to my darling C-ko. She turned and started to open the door to her room and step inside. The dreamy look on A-ko's face suddenly faded away and she grabbed B-ko and started to pull her away from the door.
"Oh, no you don't! I'm going to see her first!" They started to struggle, but Mike came in to break them apart. As soon as his hands touched their shoulders, they both fell against him, each taking an arm into their hands and laying their head against it. Mike's blush deepened and he quickly jumped back and stammered a bit.
"Girls, you shouldn't fight over your friends, do you understand?"
"Uh-huh," they both agreed, and began to lean against each other as they stared at Mike. When they realized that they were touching each other, they moved apart and began to elbow each other slightly.
"Girls!" Mike said reproachfully. They both straightened up and acted like they were hanging on his every word.
"Now girls, I understand that you both care a great deal about your friend..." Mike began, still not fully recovered from his blushing fit.
He was interrupted by Lum chasing Shinobu, hurling lightning bolts at the unfortunate girl. "Leave Darling alone!" Lum said as they passed in-between Mike and the two girls. A-ko and B-ko gave each other angry sidelong looks.
"...You have to realize, however," Mike continued, undaunted. The two continued to look at him, but he was again interrupted from the other direction by Ryoko and Aeka, who were duking it out with each other with typical energy.
"Tenchi's mine! You stay away from him Aeka!"
"In your dreams! He's marrying me!"
A-ko and B-ko looked at each other again. Their hands had clenched into fists which did not loosen when they turned to listen to Mike again.
"...It just isn't right to go around fighting each other..."
Shampoo and Ukyou passed between them just then, arguing about Ranma. Mike continued his speech undaunted, and did not notice that A-ko and B-ko had started to elbow each other again. When Ryouga and Kunou passed by from the other direction, a pushing match was just getting started between the two girls.
"I will have Akane! I am the Blue Thunder!"
"Die!"
"...So I'm sure that you two can come to a peaceful resolution to your problems..."
Two nurses passing by each other suddenly hugged. "Umao! Wherefore art thou Umao?" one said.
"Ushiko! Wherefore art thou Ushiko?" the other said.
"...So, do you think that you can both do that?" Mike concluded hopefully. A proud smile had spread across his face.
"A-ko! I swear to you, this day, you will die!" B-ko said suddenly.
"Hah! We'll just see about that!" A-ko returned.
Mike looked crestfallen. "I was so sure all they needed was a good nudge in the right direction."
Commercial Break
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The battle had carried itself to the lobby, and A-ko was desperately trying to defeat B-ko despite her Akagiyama-23 armor. Mike was quickly following them, still trying to get them to calm down. The dents in the walls did enough to show how effective he was being.
"What the-!" Toni suddenly shrieked. "Mike! What's going on?"
"Nurse Jo-" Mike began to say, but after he had to duck a thrown chair, he decided not to make an issue of it just yet. "The usual," he said as his explenation.
"Give up, B-ko! This never works!" A-ko was saying.
"That may be so, A-ko, but I've come prepared this time!" B-ko said, and she leaped a few yards back to avoid another punch by A-ko.
"Now what's she doing," Toni thought out loud.
B-ko suddenly reached for her wrist pack, causing everyone, including A-ko, to duck, thinking that she was about to fire her missiles, but instead, she slid a card out from it.
"Hey!" Toni said, recognizing the card. "How did she get that?"
"Metamorforce!" B-ko said, lifting the card into the air as she got bathed in energy. When the energy disappated, her suit had changed slightly, taking on a few of the aspects of Moldiver's costume.
"This could get to be bigger trouble than we thought," Mike said. "I'd better get Dr Stoopenstein."
"Oh, no you don't!" Toni said. "The last thing we need is him coming in to mess things up. Now what's she doing?"
By this time, B-ko had withdrawn a broach and two pens, and was lifting them in the air.
"Please, somebody tell me this isn't happening," Toni mumbled.
"Moon Prism Power! Make Up!" B-ko said, and was again bathed in energy. "Mars Power! Make Up! Mercury Power! Make Up!" In the flash of an eye, B-ko had again altered her costume, and it now slightly resembled the costumes of the Sailor Warriors.
A-ko was too stunned by the spectacle to move, as was everyone else caught up in the sight of B-ko taking yet another little trinket and raising it above her head. "Pegasus Ryu Transformation!" she said.
While her suit took on the aspects of the Saint Seiya costume, Toni set her chin into one of her palms. She looked annoyed and bored at the same time as she said, "Is she finished yet?"
Apparently she was not, for B-ko had suddenly unsheathed a sword out of nowhere and had lifted it into the air as well. Toni's eyes had assumed the position occupied by her chin as she tried to avoid seeing what was going on. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" she wondered aloud.
"For the honor of Greyskull! I have the power!" B-ko said. When she was finished, her outfit looked nothing like her original battle armor, and she smiled evilly at her nemisis. "So, A-ko. Are you prepared to do battle with me now?"
Toni clutched at her belly and stuck her tounge out with a nausiated expression. "I think I'm doing battle with my stomache."
The first thing that crossed Heather's mind was that the hospital shouldn't be shaking the way it was, and that it might not be a bad idea to get out while she could.
The second was that Billie was nowhere to be found.
Muttering curses, she headed off down the hall towards to the front lobby, hoping that Billie had gone off in that direction.
There were other doctors and nurses running down the halls, and they seemed to be just as confused as her. Despite how careful she was, however, she was still knocked down when Karl came running down the hall, and he promptly toppled over her.
Heather rose, and with a snarl, lifted Dr Stoopenstein by his collor up to her face. "What have you done this time?" she demanded.
"Nurse Farley!" Karl said. He had all the look of a lost rabbit, and it was clear just from that he had no knowledge of what was going on.
Heather studied his face for a while and finally just sighed, "Oh, just run," she said, and released him.
The hospital shook from another explosion, and Heather had to grab Karl as the doctor started to run off. "This way, stupid," she growled.
"Ah yes, of course," Karl said, and started to run in the proper direction, with Heather following right behind, staring daggers into his back the whole way.
It did not take them loong to get to the front lobby, and when they got there, they noticed a large hole in the ceiling and much debris everywhere else. Everyone else had left by this time, and Karl made no reluctance in his efforts to also get out.
Heather, on the other hand, organized a quick evacuation for everyone else who was still running from the periodic explosions. "If I don't find out what's going on soon, somebody is going to die," she swore.
Finally, after several more minutes of fleeing bodies,Heather was positive everyone had gotten out of the hospital. She quickly stepped out herself, when suddenly she heard a familiar voice calling out. Looking back, she saw the last thing she needed right then.
Billie, clinging to Pam with all her might, and the stalwart nurse making her way top the exit as quickly as she could. Tears were streaming down Billie's cheeks and she was whining about how scared she was.
"Pam!" Heather called out. "Hurry up!" She was about to go back in after them, but the doors suddenly closed tight, and a huge metal wall sprang up from the ground, making it that much more impenetrable.
"Damn!" Heather yelled, pounding on the wall with her fist. When the hospital began to move of its own violation, however, she stepped back as quickly as she could.
Mike, Toni, and all of the Otakus in the lobby had been the first to abandon the hospital when A-ko and B-ko started their personal war all over again.
B-ko was exploiting every advantage she could, but still she could not get the best of her red-haired nemisis. Finally, B-ko flew high into the air, beyond A-ko's reach, and announced,"So, you think you've beaten me, do you A-ko?"
Piles of nurses, doctors and patients were streaming out of the hospital. Toni was the first to notice Karl spring out. As soon as he saw the source of the destruction of his hospital, he made a run for A-ko, apparently believing he could get her to end the war. "Mike, get him before he gets himself killed," Toni said.
Mike was already halfway there by the time she finished the sentence. He was holding the squirming doctor over his head when he came back mere moments later. "Please, Toni," he said to her, as he set the wild doctor down. "It's 'Nurse Jones'"
Suddenly the very earth shifted, knocking everyone, including A-ko, off of their feet. The ground continued to shake as the south wing of the hospital began to slowly rise into the air, as though it were axeled to the center of the building. The subsections began to twist and fold, and the sections they were connected to also began to move to and fro until finally it began to take on a discernable shape.
B-ko was laughing the whole time this was happening. "You have no idea what you're in for now, A-ko! I put all my heart into this one!"
Heather finally managed to stagger her way to the rest of the group. "Who?" she said, grabbing Karl by the scruff of the neck again. "Who did you hire to repair the hospital the last time it was destroyed?" She began to shake him violently. "Who?"
"Erm, well, I was such a bargain, I thought it would be the best company to let have the job," the doctor stammered. "And their quality rating is second to-"
"Who?!" Heather repeated with another shake.
"The Daitokuji Corporation," he admitted weakly.
Heather threw him to the ground at the admission and prepared to hurl herself on top of him. "I'm killing him for real, this time!" she announced. Mike caught her in mid-leap and held her aloft. "Let me go, Mike! I have to do it! It's the only way to save us all!"
Mike simply turned so that Heather was looking face to face with Toni. The receptionist had her hands folded together and she grabbed the nurse by the collar so that she faced her in the eyes. "Where is my daughter?" she asked with a venomous edge to her voice.
"Oh, boy," Heather said.
The south wing had fully converted into an arm, and the other wings were busilly changing shape into yet another arm and two legs. A-ko finally got up after staring wide eyed for a while at the fantastic spectacle. "Just what is that thing?" she demanded of the flying B-ko.
The monstosity was rising to its feet so that it could stand straight while B-ko laughed maniacally. "This is your doom, A-ko! Even if you can stand up to all the power I now posess, you won't stand a chance against my greatest mecha ever! A-ko! I have created your death, and it's name is... Medisaur!"
Toni looked up from her chewing out of Heather just long enough for her to say, "the stupidity of her mechs are exceeded only by the stupidity of the names she gives them."
"Medisaur?" A-ko said. "When will give up making these stupid things? Guess I'll just have to smash this one too." A-ko started off for the monsterous thing that stood before her with the full intention to do just what she had said.
Medisaur was truly huge. The hospital itself had covered an area of over thirty-six square miles, even though it was only one level. It stood on its legs, which were all that could be seen of the thing. Everything else was lost in the clouds. Everyone could still tell that it was preparing to attack, though, by the angle the two feet were leaning. It was a wonder the thing didn't topple over, or shatter, or collapse in on itself.
"I wish we could defy the laws of physics like that," Toni mused. then suddenly a realization struck her. "A-ko!" she shouted as loudly as she could. "Don't! My daughter's in there!"
While A-ko turned around in confusion, everyone else hanging around the area began mumbling to each other. "Toni has a daughter?" "I didn't know that!" and "Boy, you think you know somebody," were some of the more common comments being uttered.
"Blew it," Heather said cheerfully.
"Forget that for now!" Toni said. "A-ko! You can't smash that thing! If you do, Pam and my daughter will be killed!"
"If they're not dead already," Heather said, but when she saw the look on Toni's face, she quickly said, "or not," while holding up both hands in a "steady, there," manner.
Just then, one of the massive hands of Medisaur came down in a huge fist which A-ko only barely dodged. The impact, however, left a crater the size of the Astrodome and knocked everyone several feet into the air before they fell off of their feet.
"A-ko! Help!" Came a voice from one of the legs. It was C-ko, too confused by what was going on to realize that she should have evacuated like everyone else. A-ko ran up to the leg and tried to pry open enough of the metal shell of Medisaur to get C-ko out, but it was no use.
"B-ko! Stop this thing! C-ko's trapped inside!" She screamed as loudly as she could.
B-ko, however, had also heard the screams, and was actively trying to use her assembled powers to also pry C-ko out. She had built it too well, however, and her efforts were as useless as A-ko's. "It's no use! I can't make it do as I say! C-ko! Don't die!"
"B-ko! Do something!" A-ko insisted.
"I can't! Nothing can stop Medisaur! Not even my incredible genious!"
"Lay it on thick, why don't you?" Heather grumbled. It earned her an elbow by Toni, who was watching the situation with genuine concern on her face. Mike was lending her a steadying hand, and many other doctors and nurses were physically restraining Karl, who seemed intent on rushing suicidally to his transformed hospital.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, came Tuxedo Mask. He rode in on a white horse, cape flowing, and with style that can only be described as inhuman, his hand whipped out and sent a rose flying out at Medisaur.
The Rose sailed straight through the air at impossible speeds, until it disappeared into a tiny crack in Medisaur. There was a brief flash, and suddenly the giant mech stopped, leaned over, and slowly unfolded back into the hospital.
"She was fine," Pam assured Toni for the hundreth time. Toni was still not convinced, and again made a thourough examination of her daughter before she was satisfied, at least for the moment.
"I still want to know how you managed to to take control of Medisaur away from B-ko," Mike said.
"You should have put it under your control," Heather said. Toni whapped her over the head for being obnoxious, but Pam didn't seem to be bothered.
"I was about to," she shrugged.
Toni, Heather, and Mike all looked at her quizically. "We're never gonna figure her out, you know that?" Toni said to the other two.
"Say," Heather suddenly said, "Toni, weren't you the one who decided on a punishment for B-ko.
Toni grinned devilishly and said, "I sure did."
"Before you start celebrating," Mike said, "I seem to recall that you have yet to be evaluated today."
"Nuts," Heather said, hanging her head in defeat.
Outside, amidst the wreckage, B-ko was desperately trying to clean up the mess she had made. Making sure that she was quick about it were Usagi, Ami, Rei, Saint Seiya, Moldiver,and of course, A-ko.
preview of next week's episode
Threatening phone calls demand that Anime Hospital be shut down! Mysterious accidents plague the halls, and the longer they continue, the less doctors and nurses there are to treat the patients! Who is the voice on the other line of the phone? Find out next week as Speed Racer, Science Ninja Team Gatchamen, Kimba, Crusher Joe, and the crew of the Yamato guest star in "Classic Symptoms!"
