Sailor Moon at the San Diego Comic-Con
Hi, I haven't written anything in awhile so my moderator has properly been reassigned. I'm sending this through email because I couldn't fit the whole story as one post through AOL's newsgroup thing. I hope this isn't a problem. If it is, well, I'm sure my future stories aren't going to be self contained and I'll try to break up my chapters accordingly. Anyways, it's good to be back.
"No way is Sailor Mars the cutest! That honey Sailor Venus is the stuff dreams are made of. Hello? Her name is Venus? The god of love and beauty?"
"Yeah, and the planet she's based on is a gaseous hell hole where no sunlight can penetrate, what's your point? Maybe I've just got an Asian fix or something, but no way the other scouts can match Mars' looks. The long black hair, those pouty lips, the slim figure, and you have to love those heels."
"None of you guys know what you're talking about. Everyone knows Sailor Mercury is by far the cutest scout. According the Shoujo Magazines last survey on the Scouts, Sailor Mercury came in by a landslide in first. Not only that, but when that manga based on the adventures of the Sailor Scouts first appeared, not only was Sailor Mercury the most popular of all the Scouts, but also out of all female manga characters at the time! And I have even more evidence that Sailor Mercury is the cutest! A had a poll on my Sailor Scouts web shrine and guess who got the most votes again! I think I've brought up more than enough evidence to support my claim."
"The ignorant masses aren't always right! It doesn't matter what a bunch of people think if they're wrong! The lone dissenter could be right and everyone else could be wrong. Haven't you ever read Mill?"
"What manga does Mill do?"
"He's an 19th Century writer you bloody twit! Besides, you probably rigged that poll on your website anyways. Anyways, considering I'm the one with the highest GPA here, I think my opinion would be of foremost validity and I say none of the other scouts even COMPARES to Sailor Moon's beauty. She is the leader afterall? Not only that, but as leader, I bet she has brains to match her beauty. Her GPA is probably higher than even mine. She's the perfect compliment to my brains and beauty. Hey, is my Tuxedo Mask cape straight?"
"Forget brains! We all know who the one scout that can kick all the other scouts in a fight is, and that's Sailor Jupiter! She's easily the most athletic and beautiful one out of them all."
"Athletic? Butch is more like it... She's probably a lezbo."
"Hey, don't you talk about my girl like that! I'll kick you in the nuts!"
"I'll Venus Crescent Beam that leg off before you get the chance bub!"
"Look, all this bickering is completely pointless. When the Scouts get here, then we can all get a good look at them and then we'll know for sure who the finest one out of them all is."
"Yeah, that sounds good to me. When Sailor Mars gets here, we can all bask in her glorious beauty... It's only about 35 more hours until she gets here! Oh my god, I'm so excited I think all my zits are going to explode."
"Is that it? It seems only like yesterday we camped out here in front of the convention center."
"It was yesterday."
"Oh yeah. And we still weren't the first one's in line to see them!"
"Hopefully they're not here to see the Scouts but are rather stupid comic book dorks."
"Yeah, American comics are for losers."
"You know, I still can't believe the Scouts are coming here! I thought I'd only be able to see them in Japan. But they're coming here! To San Diego! To the San Diego Comic-Con! This is so sick!" Sailor Moon: The San Diego Comic CON (Emphasis on Con) By Chihokodan *Slight profanity in this fanfic. Not too bad I think... Nothing worse than what the average 5th grader hears at school everyday*
"Remind me again why we're in the United States?"
"To meet our fans for one thing. I think it'll also be a good learning experience for all of us to be going to the United States for the first time. It's also good publicity for our manga that that nice lady is doing for us. Besides, don't you think it'll be fun Luna to be coming to California?"
Luna stretched herself out on Serena's lap as she replied, "I'm just not so sure that it's a good idea to leave Japan when the negaverse threat is still prevalent. And if you'll remember correctly, I wasn't exactly the most enthusiastic about having a comic book produced about us either Amy."
"Oh Luna, stop being a kill joy! I should have stuck you in the trunk. Personally, I can't wait to get there! The sun shine! The beaches! The cute guys! Those big, juicy, American steaks! And to think, I'm not going to be the only blonde person for once!" giggled Serena as she hugged Luna tight enough to cut off her circulation while she daydreamed.
"You're not the ONLY blonde Serena," interjected Mina. She looked out the window of the limo they were riding in towards the hills off I-5. It was funny coming to the U.S. now she thought. She had barely just adjusted to leaving England and the rest of Europe for Japan and here she was now back in an English speaking country. She would never admit it, but there was still alot of adjusting for her to this. She wasn't the one and only famous Sailor V, protector of her majesty's land anymore. She was just another of many Sailor Scouts now. Sharing the spotlight was not something she was used to. Also, the independence she had before; now she had to rely on these amateurs to back her up. And on top of all that, although she would never admit it, she really missed not being a "gaijin." For the rest of these scouts, it was going to be culture shock. For her, it was coming back home.
The limo suddenly ground to a halt, tossing all the passengers forward.
"Whoa, what happened?" inquired Lita. She then took a look out the window and gasped, "Good lord! What is that!?"
A sea of chrome with red lights lit up extended as far as the eye could see. It was dead stop bumper to bumper traffic here at Carlsbad, a good 15-20 miles from their destination.
As Mina eyes the traffic, she quietly muttered to herself, "Yep, just like home."
"Haven't these guys heard of the subway?" wondered Serena out loud.
"Actually Serena, there isn't much of a subway route in California. The only comparable system is the BART system in the Bay Area consisting of the cities San Francisco, Berkeley, blah blah blah..."
Serena began to get nervous and she started squeezing Luna more tightly. "Oh no! How long are we going to be stuck here! I want my big juicy American steaks! I'm getting hungry already... I'm not sure how long I can hold out without food..." Luna would've yelped in pain by now if she had any access to her lungs.
"I think being forced to go without food might be the best thing that ever happened to you," jabbed Rei.
"Hey! What exactly are you trying to say?" yelled back Serena.
"I'm saying that if you don't lose some weight, you won't even fit on the pages of our comic book anymore."
"You're just jealous that the comic book is named Sailor Moon and not Sailor Mars!"
"Hah! I'm not a glory hog like you! I think the fairest name would be the Sailor Scouts, and if you don't believe me, Lita feels the same way to, don't you Lita!?"
"What are you doing!?" angrily whispered Lita to Rei.
"Is what she says true Lita? Don't tell me you're turning on me too!" Serena was squeezing Luna so tightly now her head was about to pop off.
"Ummm... Heheh... I'm not involving myself in this, no way, no how."
"So that means its true doesn't it!"
"Tell her what you told me last week Lita."
"Why are you doing this to me Rei?"
Artemis laid himself out on Mina's lap exhausted and sighed "This is going to be a long ride isn't it."
"Zoicite!" bellowed Queen Beryl from her throne.
Cherry blossoms began swirling in a cyclone and suddenly dispersed as Zoicite teleported in the eye. She was tucking her shirt in, and her hair was untied and a mess. "Happens every time... Me and Malachite are about to... A phone call from Beryl..." muttered Zoicite.
"Did you say something Zoicite? And why are you such a mess?"
"Nothing important my liege, just talking to myself. And I was... ummm... Just doing some plumbing..."
Beryl raised an eyebrow questionably. "Uh-huh... Well, anyways, do you know why I called you here today?"
"To either a) kill the Sailor Scouts b) To obtain all the rainbow crystals or c) some ingenious plan to gather energy for the negaverse."
"It would be the later Zoicite. Not a bad guess."
"Am I good or am I good," smirked Zoicite.
"It is called the San Diego Comic Convention. Here, many of the lower tier of society gather to meet the people who create these "comics." It is actually quiet surprising the number of people who attend this event to meet some sketchers, and the enthusiasm they have for this event."
An image began to project from Beryl's crystal ball, showing a convention from past years. Fanboys could be seen running around excitedly as well as numerous people dressed in homemade costumes that looked very home made. "They expend a tremendous amount of energy simply standing in line, hours at a time, simply waiting for an autograph or 2 minute sketch! This is energy easily harnessed as these people are very incapable of any defense of themselves beyond some whining. Let me warn you of the importance of this mission Zoicite. The negaverse has been negligent of Metallia's energy needs due to our zeal over finding the rainbow crystals, and we are now in dire need of energy to maintain our power levels. There can be little room for failure in this mission. Also, it is a good 600 miles away from the home base of the Sailor Scouts, so you need not concern yourself with their intervention. Any questions?"
"Just one," Zoicite answered as she grimaced from the sight of fanboys. "I don't have to touch any of them do I?"
"Oh my god, I don't have to touch any of them do I?" exclaimed Mars as the Scouts were escorted from their hotel rooms into a large conference room for a Q & A panel with all the scouts. The room was easily packed with otaku, and there was a huge mob outside the room awaiting the Scouts. They all went berserk, yelling, screaming, and reaching for them when the Scouts appeared, but the passive lot didn't dare rush the security guards surrounding the Scouts.
"Oh my god! It's really them!"
"I love you Amy!"
"I want to be punished in the name of the moon!"
"Like I haven't heard that one before," grumbled Serena as they made their way onto the stage to be seated.
Everyone in the audience was on their feet applauding as the Scouts took their seats on stage.
"I could get used to this," commented Mars.
The promoter of the event and their translator greeted the scouts.
"Nice to have you here today. It's an hour Q&A panel, so we'll mostly be fielding questions from the audience today after some introductions," the promoter said in English.
"Thanks, we're glad to be here," replied Venus in English.
"Yes, I am too," Amy also replied in rough English. The other scouts just looked fairly perplexed.
"He said that you look nice today, and he'd like to be introduced to you after some questions and an hour of S&M," the translator "translated" to Japanese.
"What's S&M," inquired Sailor Moon. "Do we get to eat during S&M?"
"Come on! One of you must want to volunteer for this mission!" screamed Zoicite at a crowd of negamonsters. "You can't be that terrified of some humans!"
"But they look kind of scary," one of the monsters meekly peeped.
"You're negamonsters! They'll be much more scared of you than you are of them! Come on, we need energy! Don't you want to do this for your queen!"
There was no reply except for silence from the crowd.
"Good lord... I don't want to do this by myself... I don't want to touch any of them damn it," sighed Zoicite to herself as she placed her hand on her forehead.
"I'll do it," rang a voice from the crowd.
The negamonsters all parted until a lone 6'1" monsters was standing there. It was a female soldier, with ridiculously large red spiked boots on her feet. She was decked in a tight black skin suit covering every inch of her body, and a red cape that went on and on and on and arranged in no physically possible way. Her figure was also not physically possible, not if she didn't want to have back problems some time down the road and a black mask with glowing green eyes covered her face as a tail of black hair seeped out the back.
"I am Spawnetta sister, and I'll regulate their asses for you... If I get the hook ups after this."
"Hook up to what? Look, whatever you want, it's yours if you succeed with this job... Spawnetta was it?"
"Best remember my name cause this job is going to be gravy my friend. One condition on this job though."
"And that is?"
"I don't have to touch none of them dorks do I?"
"Hi, my name is Kyle, and I have a question for all the scouts. Have any of you ever interacted in intercourse with each other?"
"What!?" immediately shouted Venus. "What kind of question is that?"
"He asked if any of you ever interact with each other," the translator translated.
"Is that what he really asked?" wondered Mercury, unsure of her English abilities.
"What!? You translated it wrong?" Venus shouted in English to the translator. Sailor Moon, Jupiter, and Mars all nodded their heads and smiled. Moon responded in Japanese that they always had fun with each other when they have the time who the translator translated properly to English.
"What's Venus so worked up about?" asked Luna to the translator.
"She said you took the wrong transit."
"Huh?'
"I don't know what she meant either," shrugged the translator.
"Next question!" interrupted the promoter.
"How often do you have fun with each other?"
"We don't sleep with each other!" Venus shouted in English to the crowd.
"Calm down Venus," Artemis told her.
"Sometimes we all sleep over at Mars temple," Mercury said to Venus as she attempted to translate the English herself.
"Sleep means sex sometimes in the English language," Venus informed Mercury in Japanese.
"What? Of course we don't have sex with each other!" exclaimed Mars in Japanese. "Me and Sailor Moon? Hell no!"
"Hey, why finger me out of everyone!" shouted back Sailor Moon.
"Sailor Mars says she doesn't sleep with all the other scouts. Only Sailor Moon," interpreted the translator in English to the audience. "And Sailor Moon says Sailor Mars only one that fingers her."
"Shut up! Shut up you moron!" shouted Venus as she threw Artemis off her lap and leapt from her seat onto the table. She grabbed the translator by the collars of his shirt and screamed, "You're given these people who probably already have an overactive imagination the wrong idea!"
"Next question!"
"Knock knock!"
"Oh who can it be... I'm not due to be signing autographs for another hour," muttered Jim Lee as he tied his bathrobe tightly around himself. "If it's those damn Wizard idiots trying to steal my bathrobe again, HA! They're not going to get me this year." He opened the door to be greeted by the 6'1" negamonster female version of Spawn.
"Oh crap. Did McFarlane send you? I thought he wasn't coming to this con. Look, tell him I'm sorry, but I don't want to help distribute copies of Spawn on video for him. I have better ideas for Christmas presents for my employees. I understand he needs the sales if he wants to make another movie (god knows why), but I'm not interested. Maybe Rob will want to buy some."
"What the fuck you talking about? Shut your bitch ass up and let me take over your body."
"Okay, this isn't funny. NOBODY tells Jim Lee to shut his bitch ass up!"
"Yeah it funny... Funny like yo momma's face," Spawnetta bagged as she slammed the door shut behind her.
"Next question!"
A plump forty-year-old man wobbled to the mike. "It is such an honor to meet you Scouts. I've dreamed of meeting you. I'm wondering if after this, anyone of you might want to meet later for a little rendezvous."
Venus just rolled her eyes as Artemis translated to the rest of the Scouts. The other translator could be seen being carried off stage on a stretcher, laser marks charring his whole body.
"What? But we're only 14!" exclaimed Amy in English.
"Well, you look legal to me," smirked the plump old man.
"It'll be legal if I fry your butt with lightning!" shouted Jupiter in Japanese as the antenna on her tiara raised. "Diplomatic immunity has its perks."
Moon and Mercury managed to push Jupiter back into her seat and calm her down.
"Next Question!" "Hi, I'm Stan, and I was rereading Volumes 1-3 of the manga when I noticed that on panel 6 on page 25 of Volume 2, when Molly was cradling Neflite's body, that all the other Scouts line of sight aren't directed at the two except for Sailor Moon. So I was wondering if 1), Sailor Moon had affections for Neflite or 2), she was looking at the flesh revealed by Molly's torn clothes."
"We're not damn lesbians!" screamed Venus for the nth time.
"I'd appreciate it if Sailor Moon answered..."
"Next Question!" Only this time, it was Venus who shouted it rather than the promoter.
"Hi, I'm Kenny, and I was wondering why the bad guys don't attack you when you take so long to do your special moves."
"Hmmm. That's a damn good question," remarked Venus who translated the Q.
"I guess they're dazzled by my good looks," joked Moon.
"Or horrified by your face," muttered Mars.
"We have time for one more question, and then we're off to the autograph signings in the main dealer room. The Scouts will be there at 5 to sign autographs. Okay, last question," the promoter said.
"Hi, I was wondering how many of you girls were still virgins?"
"Oh, I can answer this one. I don't think this is a very appropriate question, and I'm sure these young girls are perfectly innocent." The promoter then turned around for acknowledgement from the Scouts only to find them blushing brightly.
"Stupid little man... He's so damn short!" muttered the now Spawnetta possessed Jim Lee as he marched awkwardly from his room towards the hotel.
A tall lanky man greeted Jim Lee as he walked into the elevator. "Hey there Jim. Okay, there's going to be quiet a back up so no talking to anyone and no sketches. Don't even look at them. Just sign it and say next. Quick and efficient. You know, the staff has to leave at 7 PM, so this has to be ASAP. You know the routine right?"
The elevator door closed taking them both down towards the lobby.
"What are you tripping about little man?"
"Tripping? I know you're reaching your mid-life crisis Jim, but we don't have time for that now. Just sign, no eye contact, and next."
"Yeah, I like that idea... No eye contact."
"That's the spirit JiARRRGGGHHH!!!" screamed the lanky tall man as Jim Lee stuck a finger into each of his eyes and pulled his eye balls out of their sockets.
"Next," smirked Jim Lee as the man slowly bleed to death on the floor of the elevator. The door opened and Jim Lee stepped out.
"What the hell? What do you mean you closed the line off!"
"It means the line is closed off. The line was full at about four, and we had to stop it or else we won't be able to leave here at 7 PM sharp," answered a rent a cop..
"But I was just at the panel with the Scouts? This isn't fair!"
"Hey, I don't make the rules. Oh wait, I kind of do. Oh well, too bad for you but I want to be out of here at 7."
"But this is ridiculous, I was just..."
"Hey, don't get rowdy with me," warned the rent a cop as he reached for his flashlight. "I know how to use this you know."
The otaku could only step back in frustration.
A large crowd were gathering around the end of the roped off line despite this and arguing their protest. A young group of girls dressed as the Scouts were in near tears..
The small bald man who was the head rent a cop remain unfazed by the desperate pleas, but one of the female one's told one of the girls in the crowd that they'd probably let some people in if the line's progressing fast enough later. Word then began to quickly spread among the crowd about this ray of hope.
The crowd's attention was then diverted as the Scouts arrived to the roar of the masses.
"Oh my... There's more people here than for the panel," observed Mercury.
"Man, I think my wrists going to be sore after this," added Jupiter.
"Okay, here's the deal. Just sign whatever they give you, no eye contact, and next. That's it, nothing more, and something less if possible. We all want to get out of here by 7 after all."
"What if they say something to us?" asked Moon.
"Don't matter. Just sign, no eye contact nor words nor anything, and next."
"That seems kind of unfair. Isn't the point of this to get to know our fans and give them a little something?"
"Ha! Yeah right... You're here to draw the otaku's to this convention so we can expand the comic book market sweet cheeks, nothing more, hopefully less." He then realized all the Scouts were looking at him angrily. "Did I say that outloud?" he thought to himself. "Errrr, I mean... You're here to see all your fans and expand the popularity of you girls and everything... And for the fans of course, always got to think of the fans. But you know, these rent a, I mean security guards have families they have to see and they have to come back here at 4 in the morning. So if they don't get off at 7, they might not see their families at all. Now I really feel for the fans and all, but you don't want to keep these people from their families right?"
"No, I guess not," whimpered Sailor Moon.
"Good. So, sign, no eye contact, next, okay?"
As the Scouts moved through the crowd to the autograph tables, Sailor Moon ran straight into another girl coming from the tables. They both exclaimed their pain as they fell onto their rears.
"Owchie, that hurt!" they both shouted at the same time. They then looked at each other and gasped.
"Wow! You're Miaka! From that manga I read! Fushigi Yuugi!"
"Wow! You're Sailor Moon! From that manga I read! Sailor Moon!"
"It's so cool to meet you!" Sailor Moon said as she shook her hand.
"Same here! It's so cool to see you here! I just finished signing autographs myself, and I guess it's your turn. I didn't have quiet so many people though."
"Really? I'm surprised. I think FY is the best! Better than ours for sure!"
"Oh no, it's not what you think. See, the person handling my signing had this raffle at my panel to see who would get my autograph. So I only had to sign 10 autographs and 5 sketches and that was it."
"You only had to meet 15 people? Isn't that kind of a small number?"
"That's what I said but the guy told me that they didn't have alot of time and that those poor security guards wouldn't see their families if I signed more so... What can I do right? They're pretty much pulling my arm here... Hopefully things will be better if I ever do this again. Anyways, I'm off to Tokyo again! Sayonara!"
"Bye!" waved Sailor Moon as Miaka took off. "Hmm. I don't see the resemblance between me and her," remarked Sailor Moon.
Jim Lee looked up from where he was signing an autograph to where all the attention was being drawn. The energy in the crowd had suddenly spiked, and he wanted to know why. And then his jaw dropped in shock. Here they were, 600 miles from Japan, were the accursed Sailor Scouts. She couldn't believe her eyes.
"Zoicite, we have a problem," Jim Lee telepathically communicated.
"I know... I see them. But still, the energy's of the crowd has peeked. Drain their energies now and we'll take care of the Scouts together!"
"Oh yeah, I been feening for this," smirked Jim Lee as his eyes glowed a bright pink.
"Uhhh... Mr. Lee, do you mind making a quick sketch of Psylocke for me?" asked the fanboy who was next in line for an autograph.
"Uhhh... You mind if I bitch slap yo ass right now?"
"Ummm... Does that mean you'll do a sketch?"
"No it doesn't." All the people in line for Jim Lee's autograph suddenly had the energy sucked right out of them and passed out. The misty color of their energies began swirling above them as Jim Lee began to absorb it all.
"Sailor Moon, do you feel that? Something's wrong?" declared Luna.
When she got no response from Serena, Luna yelled, "Sailor Moon! Something isn't right! I feel the presence of the negaverse!"
"Sign, no eye contact, next," was the only reply from Sailor Moon.
"Hey, what are you doing! Why did you suddenly stop signing! We could be here past 7 now because of you!" the promoter yelled at Mars.
"Will you shut the hell up!? There are things more important than that. I feel something wrong. Hey, everyone! I think we have trouble."
"Damn straight you do!" yelled back Jim Lee as he slowly walked over the drained bodies in front of him towards the crowd around the Scouts. "It's time to get jiggy with it girlfriends."
"Jim, Jim, what are you doing! We'll never make it out of here by 7 if you..." Jim Lee didn't respond as he simply crushed the head of the promoter approaching him.
"I'm sorry, but the line has been closed. There won't be anymore autograph sessions today for the Scouts," a rent a cop declared as he got in Jim Lee's way.
"What!? But the line's going real fast. It's for sure going to be done before 7!" yelled back an otaku.
"I'm sorry, but we've decided that there's just too many people here and instead of just screwing a few of you, we decided to just screw everybody and no one else can get autographs anymore. Besides, we're not sure how many more she can fit in and I'll be damned if I'm here a minute past 7 so too bad for all of you."
The crowd suddenly began to get rowdy, but the rent a cop motion towards his flashlight again, quelling the revolt.
"Now, Mr. Lee or whatever your name is. No one else is going into this line and you'll have to go through me and my flashlight if you don't turn around now."
"Shit... You ain't even worth my damn time," replied Jim Lee as he got closer towards the line.
"That's it, you asked for it!" The rent a cop busted out his flashlight and shined Jim Lee right in the face with it, blinding him for a split second. "Now are you going to back off or do I have to put this thing on high beam?"
"G, you are SO dead." Jim Lee in one quick swoop grabbed the flashlight from the security guard and illuminated the inside of his stomach by shoving it where the sun don't shine. "Heh. I think they'll still be trying to pry that shit out of your ass at 7. Don't think you'll make it home so early tonight; so sorry."
At the sight of the rent a cop's feebleness, the otaku in line began to grow restless as they realized the vulnerability of the rent a cops.
"Hey, the rent a cops aren't invincible! If we pooled our might together, we can overcome their reign of terror! We will not be pushed around anymore people! Attica! Attica! Attica!" screamed a rebel from the crowd. The otaku's rallied together and stormed the barricade of rent a cops in unison.
"Don't panic men! Do not be intimidated by the mob! We still have our flashlights and we know how to use them! Set it on full blast and let's make sure we can get out of here by 7, earlier if possible!" commandeered a tall black man to his fellow rent a cops as he took charge of the leadership position vacated by Mr. Flashlight up his ass.
The rent a cops vainly tried to repel the mob, blinding a few of the otaku's to tears with their flashlights. A few of the more aggressive rent a cops beat down a few of the mob with their flashlights not considering the large law suit they would have facing them soon enough for such actions. But in the end, it was the otaku who would prevail.
"Aaaaaahhh!!! There's too many of them! The flashlights are useless!" screamed a short obese rent a cop before being swallowed by the mob.
Jim Lee tossed both rent a cop and otaku aside as if they were flies as he marched towards the scouts. "Damn slow asses, get out of my way."
"That man must be possessed by a negamonster Sailor Moon! We need to stop him before he hurts these innocent people!" ordered Luna as he pointed towards the quickly approaching Jim Lee.
"You got it Luna! You! How dare you take advantage of a respected comic book creator and use his body to abuse his fans! And how dare you threaten the safety of my loyal fans! That is an unforgivable offense and for my fans across the world, in the name of the moon, I'll punish you!" declared Sailor Moon as she repeated her usual motions.
"What do you mean YOUR fans," whispered Mars to Moon as the Scouts rallied behind Sailor Moon.
"Now is not the time," whispered back Sailor Moon.
"Hahahahahaha! You think you little girls are going to check me? You ain't got shiiit on me. You dealing with a sick sister now hooch so let's get medieval on your asses."
"Well, your state of health isn't going to get any mercy from us!" responded Sailor Moon.
Jim Lee began grunting in pain as his skin began stretching out. Energy was seeping from every pore of his body, and his eyes were lit up like a fire truck.
"Hmmm... Maybe he wasn't kidding about being sick," commented Jupiter.
Spawnetta tore the Jim Lee disguise off herself as she took her true form. She glared at the Scouts with her green eyes as he mile long cape swirled around her. "Who da shit? Come on bitch, let's see what you got."
"Spawn? Is that you?" a fanboy asked.
"That uncle Tom sell out? Hell no. I ain't having no whitey play my best friend in no movie. I'm Spawnetta, 100% negro and proud of it. Now its time to step up Scouts."
Before the Scouts could attack however, the rent a cops finally broke formation as the last one of them fell and the otaku stormed the Scouts in droves.
"Can you sign this for me!"
"Can you do a sketch for me!"
"Can I have a piece of your hair!"
"Can I touch your leg!"
"Hey, what are you doing! We're trying to save your lives here!" shouted Venus at the hordes that were surrounding her.
"Hey, watch the hands buster!" yelled Sailor Mars.
Within moments, the Scouts were completely swamped by their fans. It was an effort just getting enough room for them to breathe.
Zoicite suddenly teleported in next to Spawnetta and laughed malevolently with that asinine laugh of hers. "Hahahahaha. This is too good. Still think these kids are worth saving? Finish them off Spawnetta!"
"Heh. Let's cap their asses." Dark clouds began swirling across the whole auditorium as Spawnetta concentrated her powers and began to suck the energy out of everyone in the dealer room.
John Romita Jr. passed at as he was doodling a sketch of Daredevil. The hundreds of people in line all slumped to the floor as they were drained dry. A man had his dream fulfilled as Alley Bagget passed out and landed in his lap moments before he passed out as well. And the Scouts; the Scouts finally got some breathing room as the otaku passed out but the Scouts stayed on their feet despite their weakening condition.
"Hmmm. How is it the Scouts are still up when nearly everyone else has passed out? It must be because they have a much stronger stamina than most of the fan boys occupying this room. No matter! They shall fall in short time as well! Hahahahaha!"
All of a sudden Spawnetta ceased draining energy as a red rose slashed her shoulder and landed in front of her.
"These people have enough to worry about in their lives without having you nega creeps adding misery to it!" scolded Tuxedo Mask as he stood on one of the larger dealers' comic shelf. "Sailor Scouts! Take advantage of the reprieve I've given you and OOF!"
Before Tux knew it, some of the younger female otaku members had somehow obtained a second wind and rushed him. In their zeal, they had unbalanced the shelf he was standing on and Tuxedo Mask landed with a loud thud on his top hat.
"Oh my god, he's not hurt is he!" "Talk to me Tuxedo-Kamen!"
"Daaaah... Hey meat ball head... Did you know you have the same hair as Sailor Moon?" babbled a dazed Tuxedo Mask cradled in the arms of his adoring fans.
"Hey! Get away from my Tuxedo Mask!" shouted Sailor Moon defiantly as he prepared to knock the fan girls away.
"Sailor Moon! We have more urgent matters right now! Watch out!" warned Luna as spiked chains crashed around Sailor Moon, narrowly missing her. Her chains swirled around madly and the Scouts had to take evasive maneuvers to avoid being crushed.
"I'm through playing around now girls! It's time to wrap up this job!"
"I'm not a player, I just crush alot," taunted Venus as she dodged through her spikes and managed to fire a Crescent Beam that cut Spawnetta's chains in half.
"Oh, does girlfriend here know some rap? Well, just call me Big Pun little sister," smirked Spawnetta as she let loose a blast of energy from the palm of her hand towards Venus.
"Mercury Bubble Blast!" chanted Mercury as fog covered the whole area and nullified Spawnetta's blast. "This madness ends now!"
"You got that right. Tag team Mars?"
"You got it Jupiter. Let's flank her ass."
"Hey, watch the language," reprimanded Artemis.
"Jupiter Thunder Blast!"
"Mars Fire Ignite!"
Lightning approached Spawnetta from her left and fire from her right. Spawnetta used her cape to shield her from Jupiter's attack, but doing so left her other side open, not to mention she had a particular vulnerability towards fire. "Fucking A," cursed Spawnetta as pain rapidly approached her.
"Not so fast," warned Zoicite as she teleported in front of Mars' attack and shielded her and Spawnetta from it. "This isn't going to be that easy. You aren't the only one's who can tag team."
Spawnetta smiled maliciously as she returned her attention to Sailor Moon and sent her cape after the hapless Sailor Moon.
"What the heck... I'm being strangled by a rug! Somebody, help!" pleaded Sailor Moon as the cape wrapped itself around each of her arms and legs, and then her neck, holding her there helplessly. And then it began to squeeze. "This... isn't funny... Need... help!"
"Venus Love Chain Encircle!" Venus chains emerged from the ground and dashed forward to free Sailor Moon, but Spawnetta's chains intercepted it and the two tangled into each other.
"What the? Sonuva..." Venus tried vainly to pull her chain free, but Spawnetta turned it into a tug of war match instead as Sailor Moon continued to be strangled.
"Mercury... help!" implored Sailor Moon.
"Ummm... Well... I don't really have any offensive powers! All I have right now is the bubble blast and I don't see how that's going to help you any right now. Let me see the angles of her cape and maybe I can find a weak point in it..." Mercury whipped out her trusty computer and began punching things into it. "Hmmm... Take the Cos of Angle A and rotate it around the Z-axis... Take the CoTan of that and... This is ridiculous; a cape like this shouldn't possibly be able to exist! How could she walk in this thing!" "Thanks... for nothing..." hissed Sailor Moon as she took advantage of Venus' distraction to grab her tiara from her forehead. "Moon... Tiara... Magic!" The tiara flew from her hands and sliced the cape to tatters.
"What? Aw hell," cursed Spawnetta as she realized Sailor Moon had just tore her cape to pieces.
"Hell yes!" replied Venus as she broke her chain free from Spawnetta's and wrapped it around arms and body tightly, burning her with light energy.
Spawnetta gave a sharp cry in pain, but then bit her lip as she stood her ground. "That hurt you little bitch... But I got my nutrition today... So I ain't going down like that." With a surge of energy, Spawnetta managed to shatter the chain surrounding herself. "Hahaha! That's right! Who's your mo fo? Who's your mo fo?"
Zoicite teleported away just in time for Mars' fireball to fly past her and reappeared behind Mars. "Child's play my dear," smirked Zoicite as she blasted Mars in the back with an energy burst, sending her skidding across the ground.
As Zoicite turned around ready to do the same to Jupiter, a punch to her face greeted her.
"What was that you just said?" jeered Jupiter as she went into full martial arts mode on Zoicite's face.
Zoicite fell back and landed in a small pile of male otaku's. The stimulus of female touch almost immediately aroused them. Or, what they thought was female touch at least.
"Am I... Am I really touching the beautiful and deadly negaverse general Zoicite? Oh, this is too much for one day... Please, I can make you so much happier than that creep Malachite," implored one otaku as he wrapped his arms around Zoicite to keep her from leaving him.
"Oh my god! One of them TOUCHED ME!!! AAAAIIIEEEEE!!!" screamed Zoicite with nothing short of complete disgust.
"Hey, don't be so grabby to her! She landed on me first!" argued back another otaku as he also wrapped his arms around Zoicite to keep her for herself.
"TWO OF THEM TOUCHED ME!!!! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
All of a sudden, the two otaku had a look of shock on their face. The one facing Zoicite squeezed him tighter to himself. The one behind Zoicite grabbed her chest for something that wasn't there.
"You're ummm... A little flat chested aren't you?"
"I'M A MAN YOU NITWIT!"
The two male's jaws dropped. "You... You're a... Like Nuriko? But you and Malachite... You look like a..."
"This can't be true... You're a girl in the manga..."
"What gave any of you the impression I was a man?"
"You... LOOK LIKE ONE!"
"You're a man?" asked Sailor Jupiter in shock. "You're a man!? But you and Malachite..."
"Hey, my personal life is my business! Besides, weren't we in the middle of something!" shouted Zoicite angrily as he flung the two men grabbing him against walls. "I don't think my sexual preference has anything to do with killing each other!"
"But you look like a girl!" shouted back Sailor Mars. "And you sound like one, laugh like one, talk like one..."
"Hey, do you mind? Can we please drop the subject?"
"Guess we know who's the butch and who's the bitch in that relationship..."
"Shut up! And what about you huh? I've heard the rumors about you and your sexual preference you dike."
"What!? Where do you people get that idea from? Why's it always me that's being accused of this? Because I'm a little taller?"
"Well, you are kind of tom boyish Jup... I mean, I don't think that anymore, but when I first met you..."
"See! Your teammate agrees with me!"
"Thanks for nothing Mars! First you get me in trouble with Sailor Moon, and now you're siding with a Negaverse general against me?"
"I didn't mean it that way! I just mean I can see why they would be mistaken... Wait, that didn't come out right either did it?"
A ball of green energy began to form between Spawnetta's out held hands. The energy flared violently before strands of energy surged from the ball exploding everywhere it touched.
"Sailor Moon! Some moon healing activation now wouldn't be a bad idea!"
"I need a distraction first! I can't exactly go through the whole routine with these strands of energy about to punch holes in me!"
"Do I have to do ever OOOOF!" A strand of energy came dangerously close to Venus and shattered the ground she was standing on. However, she was on the ground and unable to dodge the tendrils that were quickly approaching her.
"Venus Meteor Smash!" chanted Venus as light focused on a finger tip and then shot out numerous strands of energy itself to intercept the one's heading for her.
"How can she do so many different things... All of us except for Sailor Moon only has one attack," observed Mercury from the sidelines. "And mine isn't even offensive."
"You're wrong Mercury. You have the ability to manifest more attacks just like Sailor Venus!" informed Artemis.
"How do I manifest new powers?"
"It's intuitive Mercury, just like when you first used the Bubble Blast! You just have to feel the urgency to use it the first time, and then it'll come naturally."
"But I... I don't feel anything... How can I..."
"Do you want to be a helpless useless wimp everytime a battle breaks out? I mean, they don't really have a large demand for that bubble blast once the fighting starts and your science books aren't really needed then are you? Can Sailor Mercury live with that? Simply being an appendage? Are you really that useless?"
"No... I mean, the Bubble Blast is important..."
"Alot of damn good its doing for them now isn't it? Venus is doing all she can to hold off that monsters' attack and Sailor Moon doesn't have the time to get an attack off. But you're just sitting here on your hands..."
"I'm standing..."
"You might as well be sitting unless you do something..."
"Look, I'm not an appendage..."
"That's all you're good for, yap yap yap... Never ever contribute to a battle..."
"That's not true..."
"If you're going to do something do it, and do it now! Elsewise, you might as well go sign some more autographs..."
"I'm not an appendage!" screamed Mercury defiantly as she felt a surge of emotion and power within her. It felt vaguely similar to the time when she combined attacks with Sailor Mars. That's right, that time her bubble blast had infused itself with Mars's fireball as an offensive attack. But this felt different; considerably more powerful.
"Mercury Ice Bubbles Freeze!"
A vortex of freezing mist shot itself towards Spawnetta and wrapped itself around her.
"Ha! That's a grip girl if you think your bubbles can... What? Wait, this can't be... Frigging cold in here..." Spawnetta was soon completely frozen in a block of ice.
"Wow... Did I do that? Thanks Artemis! That was a good plan getting me so riled up that I'd manifest a new power!"
"Ummm... Yeah, that was my plan... That's the ticket..."
"Quick Sailor Moon! Finish her off!"
"Damn straight I will! Come here witch, you're moon dusted! Moon Healing Activation!"
Spawnetta couldn't even squeak out a cry of pain as she melted away to steam.
"That's it! NOBODY calls me a butt rammer!" screamed Zoicite as he unleashed a storm of killer cherry blossom petals.
"God, and you use cherry blossoms for your attacks! How gay is that?" commented Sailor Mars.
"God, I can't believe we've been fighting a gay homosexual..."
"And what's wrong with that!?" shouted back Zoicite as she sent a devastating blast of petals that tore the ground right past Jupiter and ended up tearing Mr. Rob Liefield who was signing autographs (well, waiting for someone to ask for his autograph is more like) to pieces.
"Awesome!" a fan boy exclaimed.
"The jig is up Zoicite! We've extinguished Spawnetta and there's no way you could take on all of us at once!" proclaimed Sailor Moon as the Scouts surrounded Zoicite. "And are you really a guy?"
"That's it! I'll take at least one of you down with me!" snarled Zoicite as she prepared to make her last stand.
"Hold on! Hold on! No one is attacking her! She's ours!" a man in a business suit interrupted. A large group of older men also in business suits and all carrying briefcases followed him.
"Hey, we're trying to save the universe here!" voiced Mars.
"We're sorry, we can't let any harm befall the lady here... Not yet anyways. Excuse me ma'am, but do you claim ownership of that creature that was with you? Spawnetta was it?"
"Ummm... Yes. Yes I do, I guess... Why? What's going on?"
"Ma'am, we represent a Mr. Todd McFarlane and we believe your monster was an inexcusable violation of Mr. McFarlane's intellectual property rights. Not only was 'Spawnetta' a blatant rip off of Mr. McFarlane's creation Spawn, but her violent behavior and the fact that you abused the fact that Spawn was African-American with bad slang can only harm the Spawn franchise in disastrous ways. We are suing you for not only infringement of Mr. McFarlane's creation, but also for future damages in portraying his property as a foul mouthed sadistic monster."
"You're... suing me? But I didn't make her that way! You can't blame me for this..."
"I'm sorry, but we've recorded you as just claiming possession and liability of that creature."
Suddenly, more men in business suits and suitcases broke the circle, only this time all the men were black. "Ma'am, we represent the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and we are GROSSLY offended with your portrayal of African-American women as angry, swearing maniacs. Our women are more accurately depicted as beautiful, defiant sisters against injustice, not Ebonics spouting Sister Soulja radicals who wish to eradicate life from this planet."
"But I didn't make her talk like that..."
Yet more people in business suits and suitcases came. "We couldn't help but overhear this little debacle. We're the attorneys for the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund and we believe in the free speech and imagination of our client in her satirical depiction of Spawn. Mr. McFarlance claims to be a supporter of our cause, and this is paradoxical behavior on his part. We will defend our client for her right to interpret Mr. McFarlance's creation in a satirical light as she wishes."
"But I didn't hire you guys..." Zoicite tried to argue but yet more people came before she had a chance to say much. Only it were men in business skirts and suitcases this time.
"Hi there boyo. Us four here, you see, are not going to let you horrible men belittle and crucify one of our homosexual mates just because of his sexual preference. The gay community is gosh darned sick of having society blame all its faults on innocent and gay, no pun intended *tee hee*, men just because you need a scapegoat. Don't worry brother, we are not going to let them lay a finger on you. Me laying a finger on you is another story though," winked the cross dressing attorney.
"But... but..."
"So what do we do know?" asked Jupiter.
Sailor Moon just shrugged. "I think she's got enough problems to tidy her over for quiet awhile. Who cares anymore... Where's my Tuxedo Kamen! I forgot about him in all the commotion! Tuxedo Kamen, where are you!"
Tuxedo Mask slowly came to. He was sitting in a chair, and he couldn't get out of it. His legs had been tied up and his arms were also tied behind his back. He looked around groggily and found that he was in some sort of storage room.
"Where... where am I? Is anyone here?"
From the shadows, 5 either too skinny or too fat men young men approached him. They had thick glasses, disheveled hair, and enough acne to fry a hamburger on their faces.
"Welcome Tuxedo Mask. We are the members of the Anti-Tuxedo Mask Club and maintainers of the Anti-Tuxedo Mask web page. You've drawn the attention of too many of girls that should be ours undeservedly! How can Sailor Moon and Sailor Mars like you? Can you tell Sailor Moon how long her pigtails are in length and diameter? Or the height of Sailor Mars high heels?"
"What? What does that have to do with anything... Let me go before I hurt you!"
"You are in no position to threaten us Mr. Mask... And now, we will have our vengeance!"
"What? What do you have planned?"
"Hehehehe... Nothing too bad..."
One of the men rolled a TV out in front of Tuxedo Mask and popped a tape into the VCR.
"It's just a little torture we call... Project A-ko Marathon! Specially edited to show only the parts with C-ko in it!"
"No... No... You wouldn't... Anything but... Have you no humanity!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Enjoy!"
"Hey, I think C-ko is kind of cute," muttered one of the men.
"So, what's the moral of today's story Sailor Moon?" asked Mars.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
Haven't you noticed? There's always a moral after each of our encounters. Usually I can figure them out for myself, but I can't today so for once, I'm seeking knowledge from you Sailor Moon."
"Hmmm... I don't really know... Ummm, don't ever become a rent a cop? Or maybe don't mess with Mr. Todd McFarlane? It's okay to be gay?"
Mars rolled her eyes. "Try harder Sailor Moon."
The Scouts walked back to their signing table where a crowd of unconscious otaku now lay and sat down exhausted.
"Those poor people... All they wanted was a chance to meet us and get our autograph and due to evil forces, they ended up only getting the energy and money sapped out of them," observed Mercury.
"Some of them wanted to do a little more meeting if you know what I mean," added Venus.
"Hey, maybe that's the moral fo the story!" Jupiter said.
"To let our fans grope us?"
"No Serena! What Mercury said about our fans and how the negaverse and the promoters of this convention abused them."
"But what about their families and everything," replied Sailor Moon.
"Serena, don't tell me you bought all that BS," scoffed Luna. "For some reason," Luna began as she looked at some of the less than attractive rent a cops, "I don't think these people have families."
"But you can't say that they should've just let these people mob us. That wouldn't be right either... Maybe there just isn't a moral today," sighed Venus.
"No, you're onto something there my friend," a mans voice said.
All the Scouts turned to see who the mystery man was. "Hey, it's JLA artist Howard Porter! Nice to meet you! Love the book!"
"Thanks, but I'm here for a more important reason. You were right Mercury, it's very unfair for the fans to be screwed by greedy promoters and arrogant asshole rent a cops. But Venus is right too, we can't make everyone happy but we should damn well try our best to make as many people happy as we can as fairly as possible. See, what I did was when the line was really long, I'd sign as many autographs as I could and we didn't cut the line off until about 15 minutes before I left so we could fit in as many people as possible into my schedule. Now, you had a bit more fans than me, but they should have let in a number of people towards the end when it was obvious you were going to finish ahead of time. Some sort of raffle with a REAONABLE amount of winners or maybe some waiting list to see who would be able to come in next, or possibly even a contingency line or something would have been best than to simply cut the line and not permit anyone else in and yet offer some false hope that they might later without thinking about how to organize it. They were asking for trouble if you ask me and it's no surprise the mob turned violent to me. Also, I only signed when the line was long but when the line got shorter, I squeezed in some time to do sketches. People who really wanted a sketch would either wait or come back later. Seems relatively fair right?"
"You bet Mr. Porter!"
"So I guess the moral of the story today is to try to make as many people as happy as you can, but at the same time realizing that you can't make everyone happy. In the end, the best way to do this is to think ahead and plan with some intelligence unlike those idiotic stupid buffoon rent a cops. Well, I'm done signing for the day, maybe I'll see you girls around!" Howard Porter waved and was then off.
"Bye Mr. Porter! Thanks for the moral of the day!" the girls all shouted and waved.
"Well there you go, we did learn something today!" smiled Sailor Moon. "Now, can we have those big juicy American steaks now? I've been feening for them."
"Hey hon... Weren't waiting too long out here were you?"
"Naaah, but I had to drive around a couple of times when the rent a cops came out. Damn rent a cops... And I wasn't going to park my car here, not at the rip off prices they were charging. Hey babe... Is something wrong? You don't look too happy... I thought you were looking forward to this thing."
"Yeah, with you going with me. I'm still mad that you didn't go with me."
"Yeah right I'm going to a comic convention. You know I love you babe but I have a reputation as a Kappa to keep. Besides, if I remember correctly, you didn't even want to tell me where you were going."
"I know I know... I'm just kind of self conscious about this..."
"See? You think it's dorky too... So, can I tell all my friends my boyfriend is a comic book writer now?"
"Man, they told me they couldn't look at scripts and plots in a 'convention environment.' Like it's that hard to read some pages... But I guess I can kind of understand... It's pretty crazy in there... They told me to mail it to them."
"Did you get my sister that Sailor Moon person's autograph?"
"Ha! Don't even get me started on that... I couldn't even get an autograph for myself... Those stupid idiots operating the thing, and those damn rent a cops... You dropped me off here at what, 1? I didn't get my first sketch until like 5! I stood in line for like the longest time and the line either didn't move or the person decided like right before my turn that he didn't have time for more sketches or the people I wanted to sign stuff would have their line cut off before I even got there... I spent most of the day standing in line and don't even get me started about the Sailor Scouts... You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Aaaawww, poor baby... Now I'm really happy I didn't go with you. Not to mention how much of a rip off it is for that thing! $20!? Only psychos like you would pay that much to get an autograph or scribble."
"You're one to talk. That's how much you charge for an hour with you."
"Hey, I'm worth every penny too! And you shouldn't complain; you get a discount."
"Man, I wanted my money back after sleeping with you. You ain't no Pretty Woman."
"Heehee... Hey, if you don't want to pay that much, I can find someone else who will. Anyways, so was it really that bad?"
"You have no idea how pissed I was the whole time... I didn't even eat cause I was standing in line somewhere vainly for most of the time. When I come back there tomorrow, I'm going to be ready. I'm getting there hella early and I'm going to stand in line like an hour before the person is supposed to be there. I'm not getting screwed again tomorrow."
"You're kidding me? You're going to waste another $20 after today?"
"It's not like we're in school right now or I'm working... Well, you're in school but you're just going to flunk anyways..."
"Hey!"
"How many times have you taken physics?"
"Shut up... You and your crappy poli sci... You try to take the classes I take and see if you can pull the same grades. Anyways, I was hoping we could sleep in tomorrow."
"What are you talking about? You're always yelling at me for sleeping in everyday until 3 PM..."
"I said I was hoping WE could sleep in tomorrow..."
"Oooohhh... You mean... I give you quarta, you give me good luv?"
"No, no... Only luv for quarta... Good luv cost extra quarta..."
"Hahaha... Maybe I won't go back tomorrow... It is just a stupid autograph or quick scribble isn't it? Nothing to get worked up about..."
"Aw shit... Guess what babe... We just hit traffic..."
"Aw man... Oh hey, remind me to write something tomorrow..."
"You're comic book proposal thingie?"
"Uuuuhhh yeah... Something like that..."
11 PM somewhere in La Jolla...
"Mommy, how come daddy isn't home yet?"
"Well, you know how bad traffic can be sometimes dear and daddy has to deal with all those horrible comic book people today. You know daddy tries his best to be out of there by 7 so I'm sure daddy will be home as soon as he can."
"Okay mommy... It's just that daddy's never been late before and I'm beginning to worry..."
"I know dear... I am too... I am too..."
* The Opinions of Howard Porter in this story are not necessarily the opinions of Howard Porter in real life
Jim Lee is also not a negaverse monster, but a fairly friendly person
I also apologize for any offense this fanfic might bring to the gay community, but I always wanted to address that with Zoicite
Spawn is the intellectual property of Mr. Todd McFarlane
Also, Spawnetta is meant to be a bad stereo type because I think comics are full of them and Spawnetta is what I think is, to say the least, less than good in comics
Ridiculous looking women, bad stereo types of social groups (look up Luke Cage; Jubilee is not a good representation of Gen X), and Spawn
No, I don't like Spawn very much
This is not in any way meant to offend African-Americans at all
Some of the slang I'm just pulling out of my butt honestly, but you'd be surprised what the kids are saying these days..
What I'm saying these days! I actually say sick and grip now..
* Authors Notes: This is Chihokodan and I'm hoping in vain here that some of you might actually remember me
Wrote Ranma: Prom Night? Skimpy Skirts and CrossDressers? Four Fiance's and a Funeral? Maybe I C&Ced your fic? Somebody? Anyone? Please remember me? Well, regardless..
Try as I might, succeeded for a year and a half now, I can't stop writing fanfics
Yeah, seemed like I really did retire after Four Fiance's and A Funeral didn't it? But I tell you..
The moment I mailed that last chapter out, I was already thinking of all the fanfics I wanted to right but knew I wouldn't have the time
And to tell you the truth, I really don't have the time
But a year and a half later..
Well, I'm on the ML again aren't I? (Also, is it just me, or does it seem like there's less posts than there was before? Due to lack of spam or an oversaturated fanfic market?) And what was the big catalyst that got me to whip this little fanfic up? I was really pissed after the San Diego Comic Con, and I was already whipping this thing out in my head before I had even left that damn thing at 7 with only 2 sketches and a handful of autographs I didn't really want but was shoved on me at the Marvel booth
And Naoko..
Since we're on the subject, let's talk about this fanfic
First and foremost, this is a satire and I'm hoping that people aren't too offended by some of my depections
Yes, of course I'm exaggerating comic book collectors and anime fans
I'm taking the worst of the lot and even exaggerating that
I'm not trying to say that being an otaku means fantasizing about the Sailor Scouts, but hey, there's a reason that there's so many Sailor Moon lemons right? It's a caricature of the worst of us and who am I to talk right? I write bloody fanfics
As you can probably tell from the story..
I had a pretty bad experience with the rent a cops there
I really bad one
I think I still mean every bad thing I said about them
If there are people who are rent a cops out there reading this, I apologize in my depection and this is not meant to reflect all rent a cops
Only the one's at the San Diego Comic Con
If you are a security guard from the Con; you are the rudest bunch of punk asses in the world
I consider myself fairly polite and respectful..
You on the other hand, are not
Quick note..
Wanna know how slow I'm writing? I started this thing the August 15 I think, and I just finished this 20 page fanfic at 3 AM August 25 and this is the fastest I've written anything since I retired (it's a pretty simple and uncomplex fanfic)
Yeah, 20 pages in 10 days? I used to whip out 20 pages in 2 days at my peak
Obviously, I'm not peaking anymore
And I had alot of spite driving me to write this too. I think that's all I have to say about this fanfic
The Con was just basically a bad experience
I know I should say I heard Naoko talk about SM and that was a richer experience than a stupid autograph but..
I wanted that stupid autograph and it was really unfair how I was denied it!!! I realized how there are alot of things far more important than an autograph by the end of the day, but I'm still pissed about the whole experience and how I should've got one if things were a bit different..
5 minutes would've made all the difference for me
Oh, and that thing with Miaka? Well, that pretty much deals with AX 98 and how it seemed like a very small handful of people got to get an autograph with Yuu Watase
I mean, I'm sure she could've squeezed in more than 20 people a day
Honestly..
At least Naoko signed a fairly large number of autographs
But back to writing again..
It's funny, my fanfics have progressed from light hearted stuff of my first fanfic Ranma/SM to that dramatic serious stuff in Four Fiance's and here I am, 2 and a half years after I started writing this stupid thing
A satire of all things! Well, I had some stuff to get off my chest and you know what..
It's not over
It took me a year to do it, but I've written about 20+ pages of material for a new fanfic that's more along the lines of Four Fiance's (Yep, it's promotion time)
This is going to be pretty much be my last fanfic and it'll probably take me a few years to actually write it, but I'm going to try my damndest to finish Ranma/SM (again): Divided Time
This is my biggie story; this is my Titanic
My last story, so I'm actually going to try to squash a few fanfics together into one magnum opus epic
If you liked this story, well..
It's quiet different from this one
If you liked Four Fiance's though, you should like Divided Time
Actually, because I feel Four Fiance's is by far my most recognized work, the first part is actually going to be labeled as Four Fiance's Appendage/Divided Time preview as it tied directly into Four Fiance's and things don't happen exactly the way they did the first time around and the ramifications of this leads into Divided Time
This should be out in about a week or so and I'll explain the premise for the story in that release
PLEASE READ IT!!! Ahem, anyways..
I know there are people out there still looking for the end of my first Ranma/SM revision, but hehheh..
It's coming along, just not very expediently
I know I promised that thing a long time ago, but it's hard enough writing one fanfic
Those large number of people who emailed me asking for it when I hadn't written anything for a year are a big motivation for me to start writing again (but where were you when I first started the rewrite?)
Also, keep an eye out for the one and only and forever will be unfinished fanfic that I started before I retired but has barely touched since, my Ranma/Fushigi Yuugi crossover
I've read a few other people's, and I want to add my own two cents in
Oh, this is directed to rec.arts.anime.creative
I've never posted Ranma: Prom Night there but I will be soon
If you liked any of my work in the past, you should like Prom Night
Probably my best stuff next to Ranma:FFAF
Got some decent praise when it first came out. Hmmm... So much to say after all this time..
Well, here's the part where I beg and implore people to send me responses on my fanfic
Please send any and all responses to either chihokodan@aol.com or schi@uci.edu
I really don't have the time to be a full time writer or even a part time writer and if you ever wondered why I dropped the rewrite for Ranma/SM, it was because I no longer felt it was worth squeezing time out of myself for something no one was reading (at the time at least)
So I would really appreciate any and all comments about this fic
I've been progressing towards being a serious writer and now I take this quantum leap back to do a silly fic
At the same time, I think I've matured a bit in my writing and I think my handling of dialogue is dramatically improved since I first started writing
I'm wondering what people think and at the same time trying to recapture the audience I lost with my retirement
Well, that's enough from me I think
It really feels good to actually be posting my writing again after all this time and hopefully you'll be hearing from me at least BI-weekly..
No promises though..
That got me in trouble before
Jya Ne, Chihokodan
Chihokodan@aol.com
