Mistakes

@LupinIII

Published in 

Fan Fiction

 · 11 months ago

The Dirty Pair in

MISTAKES

Kei, Yuri, the Dirty Pair, Mughi, the Lovely Angel(s), the Bloody Card, and probably some other stuff is copyrighted, trademarked, and otherwise legally protected by someone, meaning my use of them could in theory get me in a lot of legal trouble if it weren't the fact no one is going to bother suing me because I'm poor.

Everything else is copyright 1991 by William Barnes (that's me).

This is my first attempt at a Dirty Pair story. I proliferated Ryan Mathews' script-esque style because I liked it, modified it enough so as not to be so obviously somone else's idea, and injected far more of my personality than is healthy, natural, or legal. I'm basically using the American comic incarnation of the Dirty Pair mainly because I've read all the comics but I haven't seen all of the animation (Project Eden, some TV episodes, and 005 Conspiracy are the sum of my DP anime exposure), although this doesn't mean I won't ever add what I've seen.

This is probably not stereotypical Dirty Pair but I didn't try to fit any established molds anyway. If you like it, that's great. If not, you didn't pay for it anyway, so what do you care? If you have constructive comments, criticisms, praise, excessive sums of money you're dying to give away, whatever, E-Mail me at: wbarnes@sura.net or write me at:

William Barnes
2210 Phelps Road Apt. 106
Adelphi, MD 20783

If you're just going to flame me, don't bother. You'll just waste your time and annoy me. I have college and a job to deal with; I don't need extra grief.

Scene descriptions, character actions, etc. are encased in []. Snide comments from the writer are encased in {}. Comments from the invisible, intangible, immaterial editor {or maybe just my dark side, I never know for certain} are encased in <>.

<I heard that last remark!> {So? Are you paying me to write this?} <...> {Didn't think so. Now shut up and lemme get back to work.}

SCENE 1

[An administrator's office. Like almost any administrator's office; big, barren, bright, and overall boring. The administrator in question, Mr. Benindict, is standing in front of a window, hands clasped behind his back, staring straight ahead as sunlight streams in, reflecting off his glasses. He resembles Alex Goldin from the first Dirty Pair miniseries. {But hey, ALL administrative people look the same to me.} He appears troubled.]

Benindict: [mumbling to himself] Alright, admittedly they were our last choice for trouble consultants. In fact, if there were any way to exchange them, we would, but the 3WA's decision is final. And even THEY can't be as bad as the alternative if we HADN'T petitioned the 3WA. I mean, it's not like they deliberately ENGAGE in mass genocide, is it? [worried and unsure of himself] After all, the fact they're still working means it hasn't ever been their fault, right? [looking like a man desperate for a rational explanation] Besides, think of the alternatives... [The intercom on his desk flashes and beeps loudly, mercifully sparing him. Startled, he turns around and pushes a button. A holo-projection of his secretary's bust <her BUST?!?> {her head and shoulders, you twit!} appears] Yes, Hitomi?

Hitomi: [a bit pale] The, uhhh, 3WA agents are here to see you, sir.

Benindict: Send them in. [turning off the intercom, sighs] The point of no return.

[Switch to Hitomi's office, where, waiting in full uniform {as full as it gets anyway}, are everybody's favorite trouble consultants, the Di-uhhh, Lovely Angels. Hitomi's office is somewhat nicer than Benindict's {but that's because secretaries are somewhat nicer people} though smaller. Yuri is bright-eyed and cheerful, while Kei looks like she hasn't slept in three days, a situation she appears to be rectifying standing up.]

Hitomi: [pushes a button which causes the door behind and beside her to open and tries to fake a pleasant smile] Go right in.

Yuri: Thank you. [as she and Kei walk into the office, she whispers to Kei] Good going, Kei. As if it weren't hard enough to keep you awake during briefings, you had to party all night. I TOLD you we should have left the space station sooner, but ohhhh no-

Kei: [yawning] You're just jealous `cuz I had a date and you didn't.

Yuri: [fuming] Jealous?! Now listen-

[The door closes, cutting off their conversation. Hitomi sighes with relief. A wandering office mate comes up to her.]

Office Man: Who were those two?!

Hitomi: The 3WA agents Benindict sent for.

Office Man: [his eyes widening] You mean-?!

Hitomi: [nodding] Yup. They're like death incarnate. I've heard they have a terrible temper too, especially when people use their...nickname.

Office Man: I bet!

Hitomi: [pensively] Still, I'd kill for a body like either one.

Office Man: [leering] So would I! [Doesn't notice Hitomi getting mad.]

[Switch back to Benindict's office. From outside muffled smashes, shrieks, and shouts can be heard. Yuri glances back at the door for a second, then turns her attention to Benindict as he greets them.]

Benindict: Good morning, ladies. [indicating a sofa] Won't you [Kei is already sitting down and half-asleep before he finishes] uhhh, sit down.

Yuri: [stepping on Kei's toes as she sits] Thank you, Mr. Benedict.

[Benindict is trying not to ogle them too obviously, since he's obvously embarassed, nervous, and a little intimidated.]

Benindict: Benindict.

Kei: [waving an arm lazily, her crushed toe apparently having awakened her some] Whatever.

Yuri: [shooting Kei a "learn some tact" glance] Sorry, sir.

Benindict: Nono, that's quite alright. [turning to look back out the window] As you probably know, Vanaheim has been experiencing a sharp increase in terrorist activities in the last month or so. Bombings, kidnappings, hijackings, over twenty seperate incidents in just this city alone. Quite frankly it's proving to be more than our security forces can handle.

Yuri: Sir, with all due respect, we can't pick up the slack for your security forces. There's only so much we can do.

Benindict: [softly] Thank heavens for small favors.

Yuri: [slightly annoyed] Excuse me, sir?

Benindict: [turning to face them] Nothing, nothing. Ahh, that is, we don't expect you to. We have reason to believe that these acts of terrorism have been perpetrated by a single group called the Disciples of Cerberus.

Yuri: Disciples of Cerberus? Odd name for a group of terrorists.

Benindict: Unfortunately their actions are nowhere near as silly as their name. They're deadly serious and apparently well-organized and strong.

Yuri: What do they want?

Benindict: [waving a hand negligently] Oh the usual. They intend to overthrow the government in some sort of coup or something it seems.

Yuri: I thought Gaineid's control of Vanaheim had popular support. Wouldn't that mean they're going against the current, so to speak?

[Kei is starting to nod off, her eyes slowly closing as her head slips backwards. Neither Yuri or Benindict seems to notice.]

Benindict: Indeed. So far they're not a real political threat, but they're certainly a physical threat. The Department of Internal Security - my department - is suffering a severe PR blow, to say the very least. Not to mention the civilians killed or injured by their activities. All of our previous efforts have been thwarted. I've lost five undercover agents already. They have to be stopped! That's where you two come in.

Yuri: I take it you want us to neutralize them.

Benindict: [nodding] Right. We'll provide you with all the surreptious support we can, but we can't afford to openly broadcast your presence. There's too much of a chance that it will alert the Disciples. [to himself] AND cause a public panic. [to Yuri again] I've deliberately minimized the number of people who know you're here.

Yuri: That explains the private docking hanger and chauffered limo this morning.

Benindict: Right. This mission is extremely vital to us.

Yuri: Don't worry about a thing, sir. We'll take care of it, right Kei? [finally notices she is asleep, elbows her chest]

Kei: OW! [rubbing her, ahh, "sore spot"] I was resting my eyes! Oh, yeah, right, we'll [YAAAAWWWWWNNNN!!] take care of it, no sweat. [ignoring Yuri's dirty stares]

Benindict: Indeed. [to the intercom] Damien, could you come in here for me? Thanks. [to the Pair] Damien is one of my Security Forces team leaders, as well as the one in charge of this investigation. He'll help you all he can.

Yuri: Thanks, sir, but usually Kei and I prefer to work independently-

[A different door swishes open and Damien enters, wearing a leather bomber jacket with his teams insignia - a pair of crossed swords - emblazoned on its chest, jeans, dark glasses {The mark of a truly cool individual; he can wear shades indoors and not bump into things}, a utility belt {Just like Batman! WHONK! Maybe not...} with a gun holster, and oddly enough a short sword at his side {or a really big knife, take your pick}. Damien is the sort of individual the phrase "tall, dark, and handsome" was invented for. Just under two meters tall with long black hair tied back in a ponytail and a trademark inscrutable smile that not only implies he knows something no one else does, but that he finds this hidden cache of knowledge immeasurably amusing, he exudes natural charisma the way most people sweat. Needless to say, he attracts women the way most men wish they could {and wonder why the hell HE has all the luck}.]

Yuri: -of course we're always happy to accept any assistance offered.

Kei: [MUCH more alert now] Oh yeah, anytime, anywhere, anyhow.

[The two trade knowing smiles and winks as Damien salutes Benindict.]

Damien: Yes, sir?

Benindict: At ease, Damien. These are the 3WA trouble consultants I told you about last briefing.

Damien: Ah. Right, sir. We'll get started right away. If you two would [notices their predatory smiles and possessive gleam in their eyes] uhhh, follow me and I'll show you all our, uhh, data on the Disciples.

Kei & Yuri: [almost simultaneously] Of course!

Benindict: Good luck to all of you.

Damien: Thank you, sir.

Benindict: [to himself] I hope this isn't the beginning of the end.

[The Pair flank Damien on either side as they exit the office, neither bothering to return Benindict's farewell, both standing MUCH closer than necessary. Damien is slightly discomfited. They all notice that Hitomi's office looks like a whirlwind passed through; broken vases, overturned chairs, office supplies littering the floor, tumbled plants. A janitor is just starting to clean up. Unseen by the trio is Office Man, sprawled out on the floor behind Hitomi's desk, his body distorted as only a cartoon can.]

Hitomi: [beaming like sunshine] See ya, Damien.

Damien: [trying to smile as he waves but looking puzzled] Bye, Hitomi.

Hitomi: [under her breath] I definitely wouldn't mind being one of them.

Office Man: [from floor] G-great. C-can I w-watch you be-become one?

Hitomi: Shut up, you lecher! [stomps her foot onto his head, silencing him]

SCENE 2

[The trio are walking through a wide hallway, Kei and Yuri still flanking Damien, who appears to have adjusted to their presence.]

Kei: [coyly] So have you got any cold, hard facts about these, uhhh-

Yuri: [irritated] Disciples, Kei, Disciples. Something you would have known if you hadn't fallen ASLEEP during the briefing.

Damien: [smiling, turning to Kei] You fell asleep? He's either desperate for your assistance or scared stiff if he'll let you get away with that. Probably both.

Kei: [innocently] Scared? Of us? I wonder why...

Yuri: So what do you know about the Disciples?

Damien: [looking forward again] Not much. Bits and pieces mostly. We really don't have much solid evidence on them. It appears they have double agents in several government and corporate positions, giving them info, helping them obtain supplies, stuff like that. But even that's mostly conjecture. Benindict is convinced they're attempting to overthrow the government, but he's just a paranoid corporate.

Yuri: Isn't he government, not corporate?

Damien: What do you think Vanaheim's government is? Gaineid, Vanaheim's parent, is a company; hence, Vanaheim is a company. On any corporate world only one thing matters.

Kei: What, the people?

Damien: Gimme a break. I said this is a corporation, not a charity. No official is after the Disciples because they're concerned about human life - except their own, of course - it's just cheaper to take them out than to clean up after them. If the Disciples restricted themselves to protest rallies and letter campaigns, no Vanaheim official would really give a damn. But as soon as they interfere with their profit lines, uh-oh, they're a deadly threat, call in the security forces!

[Kei and Yuri are both startled by his vehemence and tightly clenched jaw.]

Yuri: But in the end, they're still doing the right thing, aren't they?

Kei: Yeah. These Disciples are still the bad guys, right? Does it matter what their real reasons are? Innocent people are getting killed, which makes `em a threat, so we take `em out. [making a shooting motion with her hand] Piece o' cake.

Damien: [shaking his head sadly] Things aren't that black-and-white, no matter what Benindict says. [pause as he notices the Pair's dubiousness] OK, think about this. All our evidence seems to indicate that the Disciples have been around for at least a year, probably much longer if they've actually penetrated the government and corporations as far as I suspect they have. For at least eleven months, they're quiet, then suddenly they explode into violence. Why? They've never once made any sort of public demands; in fact they've always deliberately avoided the spotlight. Why? Their targets have always been government or business officials, usually highly placed. Why? What are they trying to accomplish?! [shakes his head and calms down, then smiles] I'm sorry. This thing has been gnawing at my gut for the last month. I shouldn't take my frustrations out on you two.

Kei: Oh, don't sweat it, happens to us all the time.

Yuri: Yeah. We should be able to wrap this case up without a hitch and all your worries will be over.

Damien: I hope so. [notices someone down the hall wearing a bomber jacket like his] Would you excuse me a moment? I need to talk with my teammate.

Yuri: Of course.

Kei: But don't take too long.

Damien: I'll do my best.

[As Damien heads off his teammate, the Pair talk quietly to themselves]

Yuri: What do you think?

Kei: He's cute. Better than my date last night, even. His friend's not too shabby either.

Yuri: [annoyed] I mean about what he said. I could tell you thought he was cute by the drool.

Kei: Yeah, well, I don't see you keeping your distance from him.

Yuri: The case first, him later.

Kei: Since when? [Yuri gives her the evil eye] OK OK! I dunno. What he says does sound a bit suspicious. A terrorist group without any deliberate public exposure? I think I sense an internal contradiction here. <Is her vocabulary expanding?> {Hey, proof they're not just violent, scantily-clad women!} <Right, they're INTELLIGENT, violent, scantily-clad women.>

Yuri: That's what I thought. This should be a pretty clear-cut case, but still, if he's right...

Kei: Yeah...this might be fun after all!

[Switch to Damien and his teammate Robert, who he has caught up to. Robert is a tad shorter than Damien, with wavy blond hair that has that neato hold no real person could achieve {I call it the "Roy Fokker thang."}.]

Damien: Hey, Robert, wait up!

Robert: [turning around] If it isn't our fearless group leader!

Damien: Can the comedy, Rob, this is serious.

Robert: [severe intake of breath] So are those two!

Damien: Get your mind out of your jockstrap and listen.

Robert: [ignoring him] Aren't they chilly in those bikinis? {Who cares?} Maybe I should point the way to the beach for them-

Damien: Look, I've got to deal with those two-

Robert: [finally looks back at Damien] Both of them?! You hog! Don't you know God loves a generous person? Besides I haven't had a date in weeks.

Damien: That's because you've already dated all the women on the planet and you refuse to go out with any of them again. Or they refuse to go out with you. I keep forgetting which.

Robert: All the more reason to, ahhh, suck up to offworlders. [craning to see over Damien's shoulder] Lord almighty, tell me I've died and gone to heaven!

Damien: You may just yet. Those are the 3WA agents Benindict sent for. The Lovely Angels.

Robert: You're not kidding! Waitaminute. [paling as he shouts] You mean those two are the-!?!

Damien: [hissing whisper] Shhhh! Quiet! They hate that nickname. I'm not about to die as your shield. Listen, I'm going to be busy for a while-

Robert: I'll bet! [he stops looking pale and grins]

Damien: -so I'm putting you in charge of the squad while I'm gone.

Robert: [sourly] Ahhh, Damien, why do you always leave whenever ordinance maintenance comes up? I hate being in charge of the guys then!

Damien: [smiling] My secret is out! Anyway, take care. I'll talk to you later.

Robert: If you're still alive later. You have to be the luckiest bastard on the face of this planet.

Damien: Too bad I don't know if it's good or bad.

Robert: Both, probably.

Damien: Right. Fate has to balance the scales.

Robert: Of course. How else do you explain having to escort two of the most gorgeous, deadly women in the galaxy? [to himself] I wonder if I still have that "Buxom Babes" issue?

Damien: Synchronicity. See ya.

Robert: Right, catch you later.

[Damien heads back to Kei and Yuri while Robert watches, smiling, before he continues on his way, shaking his head.]

Damien: [to the Pair] Anything important happen while I was gone?

Kei: Nope, nothing-

[A huge, muffled explosion rocks the entire building, knocking the three of them off their feet. Ceiling light fixtures crack and shatter, spilling glass onto the floor. Sirens blare and red lights flare.]

Kei: -at all.

Damien: [getting up, dusting himself off, muttering] To think I almost missed that. [to Kei and Yuri as he helps both of them up] You two okay?

Yuri: Nothing damaged but my professional pride.

Kei: Speak for yourself. [rubbing her sore rump] I hope it doesn't leave a bruise.

Damien: [smiling] Want me to check for you?

Kei: [innocently] Not right now. [grinning] Maybe later.

[Damien, still smiling, is listening through a pair of headphones <where'd they come from?> {who knows, maybe they were already there; stop bothering me with little details} to incoming reports while Yuri fixes Kei with a smoky glare, who nonchalantly ignores it.]

Damien: Oh bloody hell.

Kei: What?

Damien: Someone's attacking Data Storage downstairs.

Yuri: Where all your info on the Disciples is, right?

Damien: Bingo.

Kei & Yuri: Huh?!

Damien: Sorry, archaic expression. You're right. [drawing a huge pistol from his hip holster] Let's go. [indicating the Pair's weapons] I hope those aren't decorative.

[Kei & Yuri both draw their sidearms, smiling]

Kei: Naw, they're just like us-

Yuri: -beautiful *and* functional.

Damien: [to himself] I'll bet. [motioning with his hand] C'mon, we'll take the stairs.

[The Pair follow Damien as they run down the hallway, dodging panicky civilians and debris, heading for the stairwell]

Kei: See, Yuri, I told you this might be fun!

Yuri: Just don't fall asleep on me, Kei! I don't want to have to carry you back to the Lovely Angel!

[As they reach the stairway, Damien yanks open the door and runs through, the Pair close behind.]

Kei: Don't worry! Just try not to shoot me!

Yuri: ME!? You're the one with the misadjusted sights! Like the time on Talos-

Kei: I didn't actually hit you and it was an accident and you know it!

Yuri: An accident?! Do you realize how long it took my hair to regrow?!

Kei: Oh yeah, well what about the time you almost cut off my ear with your stupid Bloody Card!

Yuri: It is not stupid!

[As they go down a stairwell, their yelling echoes up out the slowly closing door, getting fainter and fainter.]

Kei: Is too!

Yuri: Is not!

Damien: [thinking] I need a vacation.

SCENE 3

[Kei, Yuri, and Damien emerge for the stairwell into another hallway and run down hallways with Damien in the lead again. They eventually stop at an intersection clogged with security forces on either side of the hallway perpendicular to the trio. Robert along with the rest of Damien's team is there in ballistic body armor with lots of neato weaponry. There's quite a bit of chewed up flooring and walls and a couple of wounded men, evidence that someone is controlling the other hallway.]

Robert: Just when things get interesting, you show up.

Damien: Yep, and I'll leave when it comes time to clean up.

Jerry (A big hulking dude in armor): This is becoming a bad habit, boss. [Offering a helmet to Damien]

Damien: [reholstering his gun and accepting the helmet] I beg to differ. [handing his glasses to Jerry] Watch these for me, willya? What's the situation? [putting the helmet on and strapping it down]

Robert: Somebody got into the Data Storage room. Through the window.

Damien: [muffled by the helmet] The window?! [activates the helmet's external speakers, so his voice sounds mechanical] This is the fifth floor! And the damned thing's thirty centimeters reinforced-

Robert: -I know. I have no idea what they used to blow it open. Internal sensors spotted half-a-dozen coming in before they got nailed.

[Switch to a quick glimpse inside Damien's helmet, with an internal HUD showing status info on its sensors and whatnot {"Online," "IR activated," "Videolink established," whatever catch phrases you like}]

Damien: [musing] So they either have good anti-sensor equipment to find them so quickly or-

Robert & Damien: -inside information.

Robert: Anyway, they got us pinned down here. I've already called in support to take care of them from outside, but it'll be a while before they get here. Held up in traffic or something stupid like that.

Damien: Meaning we're it.

Robert: Bingo. I've got Plug upstairs trying to figure out what they're doing. He's already on the horn. [to himself] Now I'm starting to use Damien's stupid expressions too.

[Damien confers with Plug using his helmet radio while the Pair turn their attentions on Robert.]

Damien: You there, Plug?

Plug: I read you, Boss. All your helmet systems are green.

Kei: So what sort of weapons are we dealing with here?

Robert: [finally noticing the Pair {Shame on him! And he calls himself a lecher...}] Oh. Ahhh, pretty stiff armor piercing automatics, some explosives, at least a mech or two, maybe some other stuff. Someone's got this hallway covered with lasers.

Yuri: No kidding. How far is it from here to the room?

Robert: About fifteen meters.

Damien: So what're they doing in D.S., Plug?

Plug: Damned if I know. I THINK they're pulling all the Disciples files, but they got some sort of interference program running too. It keeps trying to block me. Kind of nasty, too. Almost a real challenge. I should get past it soon enough.

Damien: Keep at it and lemme know what happens. [to the Pair] We'll need some cover if we're going to rush.

Yuri: Kei?

Kei: [fishing through a belt pouch] I'm looking.

Yuri: I'm surprised you'd want our help. [smiling broadly] Aren't you afraid we'd ruin your efforts?

Damien: Do you think I'm stupid enough to try to stop you two from participating? [smiling] Besides, this way I have an excuse if something goes wrong. [Yuri sticks her tongue out at Damien who just chuckles.]

Kei: [pulls out some pellets] Got it. One fog bank as cover, no water required.

Damien: [smiling] I love a woman who comes prepared for anything.

Kei & Yuri: I sure hope so! [Stare pointedly at each other for a moment]

Damien: [to Robert] I'll need an APE.

Robert: [smiling] Take Jerry.

Jerry: [feigning surprise] What?!

Damien: [evidently tired of an old joke] You know what I mean.

Robert: Right. [hands a short-barreled, oversized-muzzle rifle to Damien]

Damien: [connecting a cable from his helmet to the rifle] Thank you.

Robert: Benindict wants us to minimize damages.

Damien: Benindict can suck my shrapnel.

Robert: Can I quote you on that?

Damien: Sure. [to Kei] If you would kindly do the honors?

[Kei hurls the pellets down the hallway. They go off with a PHOOSH!ing sound effect, almost instantly creating a dense white fog bank.]

Damien: [to his team] Cover us!

His Team: Gotcha!

[Damien and the Pair charge forward as Damien's team unleashes a barrage of bullets. The terrorist's lasers return fire but are thrown off target or diffused by the fog <Oh puleeze!> {Don't bother quoting me optics, dammit! It's a space opera fer chrissakes!}. Kei and Yuri are not holding back with their shots either as they close the gap with the door, causing as much damage to inanimate objects as their targets. Damien aims at one terrorist, with the assistance of targeting crosshairs on his HUD and IR sensors inside his helmet, and fires. The oversized shell graphically punches through the terrorist's armor and explodes, splattering little terrorist bits all over the place. By the time the trio make it to the doorway, little is left of the door guards but messy corpses. They dash through the doorway just before an emergency seal closes behind them. The room is a maze of computer terminals and big machines, data storage units intertwined with physical storage containers.]

Damien: [to radio] Plug! The security door just closed! What happened?!

Plug: [to himself] I don't believe this! [to Damien] They've taken over internal building controls! They've just activated all the seals! [to himself, although Damien can hear] I can't believe I let myself fall for such a stupid diversion!

Damien: Recriminate later! Regain control pronto! [to Kei and Yuri] Let's split up. You two go right, I'll go left.

Yuri: But-

Damien: [snapping] No buts, just do it! [heads off to the left]

Kei: [angry] Jerk! Probably doesn't trust us or something.

[The Pair go the other way, whispering to each other. A quick overhead shot shows just how incredibly twisty the room's partitions and placement of equipment is, as well as numerous terrorists, some in body armor, some in powered armor suits, fanning out. {The rampant confusion possible is high, to say the least.}]

Yuri: Gee, I wonder why.

Kei: Y'know, Yuri, you don't have to say that QUITE so sarcastically. It's not like it's all MY fault we got a bad rep.

Yuri: Oh really? Are-

[Yuri is cut off as the Pair run face-to-face into a pair of terrorists. Kei dispatches her target by knocking his gun aside with her hand (which goes off destroying any number of computer banks) followed with several sharp blows to his head. Yuri takes out her target the old-fashioned way: she messily blows his brains out all over the carpet and adjacent equipment.]

Yuri: Took your time, didn't you?

Kei: What can I say? I enjoy my work. At least nobody will have to scrape him off the furniture like SOME people's targets.

Yuri: No, they'll just have to extract the rounds that SOMEHOW ended up in the machinery.

[On the other side of the room, Damien is proceeding cautiously, shaking his head every time he hears an explosion, a scream, a gunshot, or any other noisy piece of evidence of the Pair's progress.]

Damien: [thinking] I hope they're okay. I'm not sure I want to be the one who lets the Dirty Pair get wasted. Although maybe I'd get a medal.

[His thoughts are interrupted by a trio of terrorists. They fire at him as he dives for cover. He lands and rolls over onto his back.]

Damien: [thinking] That's what I get for being distracted by a lovely pair. [aims his rifle at the terrorists through the computer he's hidden behind, who are conveniently standing still, hosing his cover] So much for minimizing property damage. [Fires. The first shot obliterates his cover, giving him a clear line of fire. The next three takes out the terrorists, leaving them twitching.] Not bad. [Another terrorist appears, seemingly out of nowhere, overhead, falling towards Damien with a wicked knife in hand.]

[Meanwhile, in another part of the room, a couple of masked terrorists are huddled around a terminal while two BIG mechs stand sentinel. The terminal operator, plugged in, is furiously pounding away at the keyboard {not unlike the writer}. Another terrorist is trying to contact someone with a headset radio. The terrorist leader watches stoicly. Behind is the remains of the window they came in through. Outside, a transport van is hovering right next to the wall. Dead tech bodies are on the floor.]

Leader: How much longer?

Hacker: Almost got it all. Doing a purge. Damn! There's that damn SF netjockey again. He's becoming annoying.

Leader: Can you handle him?

Hacker: Yeah, but he's slowing me down. Should be done in three.

Leader: Make it two.

Helper: No response, Boss, from anyone.

Leader: [to the mechs] Deal with the SF. [to other terrorist] Tell Jackson to standby for departure.

[The mechs trudge off as the helper runs out to the hovervan. The driver nods and gives him the thumbs up.]

[Switch scene. The Pair are dealing with more terrorists in true Dirty Pair style; punching, kicking, elbowing, shooting, kneeing, and generally commiting the sort of anarchial brawl we've come to expect from them. A short lull after the current crop is dealt with.]

Yuri: [panting] That was fun.

Kei: [shrugging, also sweating] I dunno. These terrorists seem like they're a cred a dozen nowadays. All style and no stuff.

Yuri: Well, if something more interesting comes along, I'll let you deal with it, OK?

[One of the BIG mechs comes lumbering around a corner, smashing equipment out of its way as it does, carrying a big gun.]

Yuri: See? All yours.

Kei: Gee, thanks. Whatever would I do without a partner like you?

[The Pair drop into combat stances as the mech approaches.]

Yuri: Get killed, I'd imagine.

[Switch scene back to Damien. He rolls away from the falling terrorist, popping the cable out of his helmet amd leaving his rifle behind as the knife slams through the floor where Damien was lying down. He gets to his feet and draws his short sword as the terrorist pulls his knife out of the floor.]

Damien: Nice blade.

[The terrorist charges, knife out. Damien locks his opponent's knife between the crosspiece and blade of his sword.]

Damien: Shouldn't stick it through floors, though.

[The terrorist kicks at Damien, who deflects it with his knee, while trying to disengage his knife from Damien's, who has it firmly locked.]

Damien: Weakens the blade.

[Damien twists his sword, snapping the terrorist's blade off at the hilt.]

Damien: Never know when it might break.

[The terrorist shoves him back, knocking him off-balance.]

Damien: Now that's not nice.

[Damien kicks his opponent in the gut as he tries to draw a different knife, making him double over.]

Damien: Next time use a gun.

[Damien reverses his grip on his sword and uses the pommel to knock him unconscious.]

Damien: That concludes today's lesson. [pulls a pair of handcuffs from his belt, uses them on the terrorist] Whaddaya know, a live arrest. What a miracle. Maybe this isn't such a bad day after- [stops as he notices the other BIG mech who is aiming his cannon at him] Oh sh-

[Damien jumps back, instinctively throwing his arms in front of his face, as the mech fires. It misses Damien but hits a nearby machine, exploding violently, showering Damien's captive with shrapnel {so much for a live arrest} and blowing Damien backwards off his feet. He flies, spinning through the air, bumping off and over a desk, before landing face-first on the floor, motionless.]

[Shift back to Kei and Yuri. Their shots, unsurprisingly, are bouncing off the mech's armor. They dodge as it fires its cannon, ruining some more equipment. Kei hurls a grenade that destroys its gun before it can fire again, but fails to noticeably scratch its armor. Now the Pair dodge its physical assualts, with no apparent way to destroy it. {Tense battle music plays throughout.} They draw back, diving behind cover for a moment's reprive.]

Kei: SHIT! How do we- [notices Yuri drawing the Bloody Card] Oh god, no, please tell me this is just a bad dream.

Yuri: Do you have a better idea?!

Kei: [weakly] No, but that doesn't mean-

Yuri: Then shut up!

[The mech picks up whatever it was they were hiding behind {Permanently attached to the floor? Not anymore.} and throws it aside. The Pair split up, flanking the mech, as it tries to pulp them again. Yuri hurls the Bloody Card. Predictably, it misses.]

Kei: Told you so.

Yuri: SHUT UP! I didn't say-

[The Card, after sailing to the other side of the room <most likely right through any intervening obstructions> and slashing the terrorist hacker's umbilical cord connection to his terminal, much to his annoyance, returns and imbeds itself in the mech's one eye. With a mechanical squeal of pain, it attempts to dislodge the card which is firmly imbedded in its face. It flails around blindly in one place, trashing adjacent equipment.]

Yuri: [triumphantly] -that it would work on the first pass. Give it time, though-

Kei: [irritated] How about if you just give it a rest? It worked, all right?

Yuri: Just because YOU couldn't stop it is no-

Plug: [through their comlinks] Do you read me, Lovely Angels! Please, if you're listening, Damien's in trouble! He went down and I'm not reading any vital signs from his helmet!

Kei & Yuri: What?!?

Plug: You have to help him! Some mech's attacking him!

Kei: C'mon Yuri!

Yuri: Right behind you!

[The two go charging off in the right general direction, hurtling, ducking, or just blowing away any obstructions, while the mech is still flailing. Cut back to the terrorists.]

Hacker: What the hell was that thing?!

Leader: Never mind. Did you get it?

Hacker: Yeah, but I'm not sure if I wiped everything.

Leader: Don't worry about it. Just get your stuff together.

Helper: What about Nunzio and Guido? Should we wait for them?

Leader: Too big a risk now, I'm afraid. IF they survive, they might be able to make it back on their own. Set the charges.

Helper: [dubiously] If you say so, Boss.

Leader: [laying a hand on the helper's shoulder] They're just machines.

Helper: [while working] Yeah, I know, it's just...they're gonna be pissed off back at base about losing the mechs, that's all.

Leader: [laughs] If that's all we have to worry about, there's no need for undue concern.

Helper: Charges set. Timer activated.

Leader: Good. Let's go then.

[The three exit through the window and board the airvan. Two police helicopters are approaching, sirens wailing.]

Leader: [to the driver] Deal with them, Jackson.

Jackson: Sure thing Boss. [The airvan sprouts weapon pods and turns to deal with the helicopters]

[Cut back to Damien, who is still lying on the ground, his helmet cracked. The mech is slowly, ominously approaching him, its gun focused on him. It picks up the intervening desk with one hand and tosses it aside. It then rolls him over, revealing that his jacket is actually some form of ablative armor, much of which was sheared away by the blast. He's still breathing. The mech takes aim to rectify the situation when...]

Kei: Get away from him!

[Kei fires several times, distracting it. Deciding to turn on the Pair, it fires at them instead, blowing up more of the room. The Pair continue to trade shots with it as Damien stirs.]

Damien: [To himself] Ouch. I thought there weren't any Mack trucks anymore. [notices the mech meleeing with the Pair] Kei? Yuri? [takes off his helmet, obviously broken, and tosses it aside] Yep, it's them. [crawls over to where his rifle is, grunting] Just hold still pal and I'll return the favor.

Yuri: [notices Damien moving] Damien! Are you-OOF! [gets hit by the mech's arm in the back, falling forward on her face]

Damien & Kei: YURI!!!

[Damien swivels the rifle around, props it up against the floor, and fires at the mech. The first shot nicks its shoulder, blowing its arm partway off and leaving it dangling. The second one hits it further in the chest, making an ugly gaping hole. The third blows its head off. It sinks to its knees then falls over backwards. Damien drops the rifle as he and Kei both close in on Yuri's prone body.]

Damien & Kei: YURI!!!

Yuri: [mumbling into the carpet] Not so loud. I'm dead, remember? Show some respect.

[Kei helps Yuri roll over and sit up.]

Kei: Are you okay?

Yuri: [rubbing her back] Nothing's broken if that's what you mean. But I feel pretty stupid, letting myself get caught like that.

Damien: [smiling painfully] You're at least half-right.

Kei: What about you, Damien?

Damien: [poking gingerly at his chest] I'll live.

Yuri: Ohhh, you men and your machismo. "I'll live!"

Kei: This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't run off on your own.

Damien: Naw, hanging around you two just gets me...distracted. [tries to stand up] Would you, uhhh, mind helping me up?

Yuri: Why bother?

Kei: "You'll live," right?

Yuri: Take it like a man! Besides my back can't take it.

Kei: And I wouldn't want to "distract" you from your work.

Damien: [smiling sourly] I get the point. [almost makes it up before Kei catches him from falling] My heeeerrrrooo.

Kei: [winking] Does that mean I get a kiss?

[At this point the blind mech, Bloody Card still impaled, comes thrashing in, flailing his arms about, causing wanton destruction]

Damien: [drawing his gun] This is gonna hurt.

Kei: Are you crazy?!

Yuri: There's no way you'll kill it with just-

[Damien fires. His bullet strikes the Bloody Card edge-on, splitting in half and driving the Card far enough in to stop the mech which falls on top of its companion.]

Yuri: -that.

Damien: [grimacing as he rehosters his gun] I knew it would hurt. [to Kei & Yuri] So who saved who?

Kei: Well, if it weren't for us that mech would've blown you into ground meat.

Damien: But if it weren't for me it would have killed us all. And of course there's the other one I just dealt with.

Yuri: But if my Card wasn't already imbedded in its forehead, you wouldn't have been able to kill it with that popgun.

Damien: Popgun?! Hmph. So I guess we should call it even. [smiling] Which means no one gets a kiss. [frowning] Although considering the fact I can't feel my face at the moment, maybe it doesn't really matter.

Kei: [mildly concerned] You can't? Why not?

Damien: Built-in function of the jacket. When severely damaged it releases painkillers, which are absorbed through the skin. So right now I'm numb.

[Damien is still leaning on Kei when they reach the door. They watch as Damien's team finishes burning it down and come charging through the hole, guns drawn.]

Robert: Nobody move! [notices Damien and the Pair] Uhhh...

Damien: Late again, Rob. Keep this up and you'll never make it to the parties on time anymore.

Robert: [grinning as he puts his gun away] Judging by your choice of crutches, I'm sorry I missed out.

Damien: [coughing] Oh, it was a real blast.

Kei: [snapping] Would you get the damn medic already?!

Yuri: [rubbing her back] Better make it two.

Kei: You two can parley later after you reassemble him! [muttering] Men! Can't live with `em-

Damien: Can't drive `em crazy without `em. [notices Kei's surprised look and smiles] We say the same thing about you.

Robert: [yelling out into the hallway] Med team, in here! [to Damien] So did you win?

Damien: [nodding] I think we got them all.

[The charges set detonate, destroying the terminal the terrorists were using and quite a bit of the surrounding equipment.]

Robert: [drily] Maybe not.

Kei, Yuri, & Damien: Oops.

Jerry: [giving Damien back his shades] Here're your glasses, Boss.

Damien: Thanks, Jerry. [putting his glasses on] Much better.

[A med team arrives and carries off Yuri and Damien, with Kei following them. As soon as they disappear, Benindict appears. He stops in shock as he gazes about the large room. Almost everything has been destroyed, corpses abound, people are running around just now starting to clean up. It is, to say the least, a mess.]

Benindict: Oh god...

Robert: [noticing Benindict] Mission accomplished, sir!

Benindict: Accomplished!? You call this "minimizing property damage?!?"

Robert: [glancing around innocently] We managed to restrict it to this room, didn't we, sir?

Benindict: [holding his head in his hands] Oh god.

Robert: Look on the bright side sir. We improved ventilation.

Benindict: It must have been those two. Must have...must have...

Robert: And you've been wanting to renovate the room, sir. What better way than to start from scratch?

Benindict: Robert?

Robert: Yes sir?

Benindict: Shut up before I fire you.

Robert: Yes sir.

SCENE 4

[A few hours later in front of the Vanaheim government building's main entrance. The Pair emerge. Yuri looks pissed, Kei is consoling her.]

Kei: Awwww, c'mon Yuri, I'm sure he didn't do it deliberately-

Yuri: Like hell! We endure all that...that SHIT and he disappears without leaving so much as a message!

Kei: Hey, he did look pretty banged-up. Not his fault they separated us in the med unit. Maybe he's looking for us now.

Yuri: Yeah right. How are we supposed to find him?

Kei: [smiles, pointing] How about looking over there?

[Damien is leaning against a red sporty aircar, waving at the Pair. He's wearing a new bomber jacket that looks just like his old one and a big grin. The Pair approach him, Yuri looking ready to chew him out.]

Damien: [trys to bow, stops partway] Good evening, miladies! Glad I am to see that you two are well. I am truly sorry I did not meet you earlier. The medics refused to inform me of where you were. I could not even get a message delivered. My sincerest apologies. [takes Yuri's hand, kisses it] Is your back alright, milady?

Yuri: [confused] Uhhh, yeah, it's fine...thanks.

Damien: What a relief. Oh! [produces the Bloody Card like a stageshow magician] I believe this is yours.

Yuri: [snatching the Bloody Card] Thank heavens! [kisses it then puts it away]

Damien: The cleanup crew retrieved it from the mech's head and asked me to return it to you. I, of course, complied. [takes Kei's hand, kisses it] How are you feeling, milady?

Kei: [confused also] Fine. Uhhh, Damien, are you all right?

Damien: I'm in tiptop condition, fit and fine. Those marvelous medics and their miraculous machinery worked wonders on my wounds. Thank you for inquiring.

Yuri: Are you sure? You're acting...strange.

Damien: Of course I'm behaving strangely! I've got enough painkillers in my blood to make an elephant one with the cosmos.

Kei: A what?

Damien: Big grey four-legged things, used to hang around men in loincloths before they became extinct. [Opening the car door, bowing slightly and indicating the entrance with one hand.] If you would do me the honor, I shall transport you wherever you wish to go. If you so desire, I can show you the backup data at my abode.

Yuri: Personal backups?! Isn't that-?

Damien: [Putting a finger to Yuri's lips] Shhhh, not so loud, if you do not mind. [laughing] Please, get in.

Kei: [beats Yuri in and sits in the middle] Thank you, Damien.

Damien: The pleasure is all mine.

Kei: [winking] Now don't keep it all to yourself.

[Yuri climbs in next to Kei, who is making the "V" with her hand and smiling. Damien closes the door then gets in on the other side as Kei and Yuri trade interesting facial expressions.]

Damien: My apologies for the cramped conditions; I'm afraid this car wasn't designed with more than two people in mind.

Kei: [rubbing up against Damien's side] I don't mind. Do you, Yuri?

[Yuri just snorts and turns to look out the window, pouting.]

Damien: [mock shock] Please, milady, I am a gentleman. And the designated driver. [starting the car] You wouldn't want us to have an ACCIDENT would you?

Yuri: Considering how high you seem to be flying already, Damien, I somehow doubt it will matter.

Kei: Oh, Yuri always gets grumpy when the anesthetic wears off.

Damien: That's quite alright. I imagine I'm going to have one massively huge hangover in the morning. All the more reason to enjoy myself now.

[The car takes off, weaving its way around buildings, over roads, and under walkways, wobbling just a bit. Unnoticed by the trio, an airvan remarkably like the terrorists' starts following them from a distance.]

[Switch to the inside of the airvan, where Jackson is driving while talking into a radio headset. Behind him are seated multiple terrorists along the van's sides, like a transport truck.]

Jackson: [to radio] In pursuit of targets now, Boss.

[Switch scene to inside some nondescript office, where we see the back of the terrorist leader's head and the chair he is sitting in, talking into his radio. His helper is visible, leaning against a wall.]

Leader: You know your orders. Proceed with extreme caution. Targets are deemed extremely dangerous. No mercy, Jackson.

[Switch back to the airvan and Jackson, who nods.]

Jackson: Understood, Boss. Over and out. [turns off radio, gives thumbs up to the other terrorists in the van] We have a go.

[Switch back to the terrorist leader who is taking off his headset.]

Helper: These 3WA agents could be a real problem, Boss.

Leader: On the contrary. Things couldn't be better.

[Switch back to Damien's aircar, which is still wobbling erratically high above the city.]

Yuri: I think I'm getting seasick.

Damien: Dreadfully sorry about that. Oh, Plug told me about what those Disciple terrs were up to back there.

Kei: [holding on to Damien's arm] Oh really? Do tell!

Damien: Your wish is my command.

Kei: [smiling] Don't tempt me.

Damien: It appears they snatched all of the files SF had on them and wiped the `base clean. What they didn't erase they blew up. HOWEVER, they did NOT get all of the RELEVANT information. For instance, they do not know about the fact that I possess backup copies of much of the data. [to himself] Probably because NO ONE knows.

Yuri: [taking interest] Did they seize anything else?

Damien: That is, perhaps, the most queer part of all. There must have been veritable tons of information that could have been useful to them and that could have been taken with no visible effort, but they didn't. Now why would they go through all this effort, sacrificing numberous members of their faction, all to take back what little knowledge we have on them?

Yuri: Probably because, whatever the information is, they think we're getting too close.

Damien: [nodding] Bingo. That would be my assessment of the situation. So there MUST be something important, something I've been overlooking.

Kei: Did the air support units have any luck taking them out?

Damien: [shaking his head] None. Two fully-equipped SF helicopters were destroyed with ridiculous ease by one better-equipped airvan.

Yuri: Now where could an airvan obtain that kind of weaponry? Not your run-of-the-mill back-alley dealer, surely!

Damien: Definitely not. I've been making some discreet inquiries with the major on-planet weapons dealers, but so far nothing's turned up.

Kei: That reminds me. If Vanaheim's a Gaineid corporate world, why does it allow other companies on planet?

Damien: Well, besides the fact that it's illegal for any corporation to maintain a monopoly on any of its worlds, as per United Galactica law, there's the very lucrative import tariffs Vanaheim can charge on any non-Gaineid product, not to mention licensing fees, leasing, land purchases, ad nauseum. Vanaheim's business is making money. Whether it's from Gaineid's own products or some other company's doesn't really matter.

[Damien turns on his car stereo. Opening strains to Rush's "Red Barchetta" are heard. {Whaddaya mean you've never heard it?! GO GET IT NOW!!!}]

Yuri: What's this? I've never heard them before.

Damien: Probably because it's at least 150 years old.

Kei: Really?! I didn't know you liked classical music.

Damien: My father had an antique fetish. One of many peculiarities I inherited from him. What do you two think are our chances of finding this airvan?

Yuri: Depends. Does it look anything like the one following us?

Kei: Really?! [Glances back] Hmmm, doesn't LOOK too suspicious.

Yuri: Maybe not, but it's been back there for some time, almost since we left HQ. Call me paranoid, but I think we may have found them.

Damien: Or vice versa. [Activates a monitor which displays a closeup view of the van.] Hmmm, it DOES match the description, but... [Activates a scan of the airvan which reveals all sorts of "optional accessories."] Give that lady a cupie doll, I think she's got it!

Kei: So what do we do about it? [drawing her gun] Should we take `em out?

Yuri: I dunno Kei, if they can take out two helicopters...

Damien: Ahh, show some backbone. Just do it!

[Yuri reluctantly pulls out her gun too. Music get intense. Damien preforms a bootlegger reverse, then accelerates towards the van. The van reveals its impressive weaponry. Damien lowers the car top, turning it into a convertible.]

Yuri: What are you doing?!

Damien: Do you think I'm going to let you shoot through the window?!

Kei: [standing up] AWWWRIIIGHT!

[Kei and Yuri start firing at the same time as the van. The two vehicles make flying passes with no noticable effect to either one. Damien's car spins around again, zipping towards the slower, less agile van.]

Damien: Built tough to last! Hold on, you two! We're going down!

[The car dives suddenly, dropping about twenty meters, then levels out and races beneath the van's underside. Kei and Yuri take full advantage, firing and lobbing grenades into its bottom. The van starts smoking then turns to retreat. Damien swings around in pursuit.]

Damien: Ohhh, no you don't!

[Activating another monitor, he targets the van's rear. A pair of grappling hooks fire, locking onto the van. Kei and Yuri disable the van's rear-firing weapons. The grapples reel in, pulling the two vehicles closer together. Suddenly the rear doors open, exposing several terrorists who fire at the nearby car. Damien pulls out his gun and fires along with the Pair, driving one-handed. Things are going well until a shot grazes the top of Kei's head, who drops in her seat, clutching her head.]

Damien & Yuri: KEI!!!

Kei: [sobbing] My hair...

Damien: What?

Kei: [gets up, looking angry] YOU BASTARDS!! [jumps onto the hood of the car, firing rapidly at the terrorists, looking furious] YOU SHOT MY HAIR!!!

[Kei leaps from the car hood into the back of the van and REALLY starts letting the terrorists have it, looking like someone you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alleyway, no matter HOW many people you had with you. Lots of shouts and wild shots.]

Damien: [thinking] Do not make her angry.

Yuri: HOLD ON, KEI! [leaps onto the hood then into the van]

Damien: [thinking] Never, EVER make her angry. [notices a damage display, indicating the grapples are locked into position] WHAT?! Oh bloody hell!

[Just as the Pair are getting into it, all the rear terrorists are dealt with (quite a number are thrown out the rear door). As they go to take out the driver, he panics and starts shooting wildly. They return fire, destroying the van's controls and his gun. The van starts going into a power dive. Damien's car is being dragged along.]

Damien: Damn damn damn DAMN!!! KEI!! YURI!! Get back here!

[Kei and Yuri, having knocked out Jackson, are climbing up the van to the rear, dragging their captive.]

Damien: Quick! Cut the grapples, they're locked!

[The Pair blast the cables, cutting loose the car - and seperating them from Damien. In less that a second, the van is already several meters away from Damien's car. He quickly sends his car diving to catch up again. The Pair are standing precariously on the van's rear then jump into Damien's car, with captive, as he nears. He engages his thrusters again as the van plummets into the city, exploding when it hits the ground.]

Kei, Yuri, & Damien: Oops.

Damien: [after a pause] Well, at least we have a captive. Are you two alright?

Kei: Misterable stinking bastards shot my HAIR, dammit!

Yuri: Yeah, we're fine. This is normal for her.

Damien: Yes, well, fortunately we're near my home, since this car is in serious need of repair.

[Damien's now hole-ridden car, wobbling more than ever, makes its way to the roof of an apartment complex and lands - sort of. The trio crawl out of it, dragging their captive.]

Kei: Nice landing.

Damien: You know what they say, any landing you can walk away from is one you obviously survived.

Yuri: [sourly] Are you sure about that one?

[Damien doesn't answer as the Pair survey the roof and realize that it is the penthouse suite.]

Kei: [incredulous] THIS is your APARTMENT!?!

Damien: [smiling] It keeps the rain off my back.

Yuri: [moaning] Please, don't mention the word "back." I'm not sure I still have mine.

Damien: [concerned] Did you hurt it again?

Kei: Oh, don't worry, Yuri's pretty flexible. So Damien, do you live alone?

Damien: Yeah. The guys often come over here to celebrate after a mission, though. [chuckling] Although they're probably still busy cleaning up from the last one.

Yuri: How can you afford this?

Damien: All part of my inheritence. My father was a bastard, but he was a RICH bastard when he died.

[The trio enter through a sliding glass door. The interior is very spacious, with three levels and an odd mix of modern architecture and antique furnishings, glass and wood. The lights turn on automatically. HAL, the AI controlling the apartment, greets Damien as a disembodied voice.]

HAL: Welcome back, Damien.

Damien: Good evening, HAL. I'd like you to meet Kei and Yuri, the 3WA trouble consultants I mentioned to you earlier.

HAL: Ah, good evening ladies. I am pleased to make your acquaintance.

Kei & Yuri: Uh, hello HAL.

Damien: Could you fix us something to eat, HAL? Oh, and contact Max about the car. It needs repairing again.

HAL: Certainly, Damien. Dinner should be ready in a half-hour. Who is the fourth member of your party?

Damien: [lifting up the unconscious Jackson] This is our esteemed prisoner, apparently a member of the Disciples. We're going to be interrogating him later I think. Could you find someplace suitable for him?

HAL: Of course. [A robot whizzes up, takes the terrorist, and whizzes away with him.] Will that be all?

Damien: Hmmm. Oh, give Yuri access to the Disciples files.

HAL: Certainly. Plug informed me of what happened earlier. Are you fine?

Damien: More or less. I'll heal.

Yuri: [muttering] Of COURSE he will.

Damien: [to Kei and Yuri] You two can shower if you want to. Oh, and Hal can synthesize some clothes for you two if you want to wash your uniforms too.

Kei: Sounds great! Which way to the shower?

HAL: If you would allow me, [another, smaller robot whizzes up] I will show you the way.

Kei: OK! See you two later. [follows the robot]

Damien: What about you, Yuri?

Yuri: Thanks, but for the moment I just want to rest.

Damien: I know what you mean. C'mon, I'll show you the guest bedroom.

[Damien leads Yuri through the apartment. Yuri examines the various artifacts on display, particularly the antique weapons.]

Yuri: [pointing] Wow, is that a genuine daisho set?

Damien: Huh? Oh that. Yeah, my father bought them a long time ago when he was on Earth. They're at least a couple hundred years old. In pretty good condition too, although I don't know if I'd really want to use them in combat.

Yuri: Was all this stuff your father's?

Damien: A lot of it was. Y'see, my father was the leader of a mercenary team.

Yuri: [impressed] Really?! Wow.

Damien: I spent most of my youth galaxy-trotting with him, going from one job to the next. My father tended to collect this stuff wherever he went and carried it with him. Then he and the team were wiped out on this planet a few years ago, leaving me orphaned here with all of his money and his junk. I could've left, but [shrugging] where would I go? So I stuck around and got a job with SF.

Yuri: Do you miss him?

Damien: Not particularly. Y'see, he never really treated me like his son. I was always just another one of his men. This really sucked back when I was too young to fight and had to do all sorts of stupid odd jobs. It wasn't so great when I was in combat training either. [smiling and chuckling drily] Just when things were improving, he gets himself killed. [shakes his head] Oh, here we are, one guest bedroom. [opens the door]

Yuri: [looking around] Not bad. [lies down face-first on the bed] Yeah, I could get used to this.

Damien: [standing in the doorway, muttering] So could I.

Yuri: [sharply] What?

Damien: [innocently] Nothing. How's your back feel?

Yuri: Lousy.

Damien: Here, maybe I can help. [walks forward, sits down on the bed next to Yuri, starts massaging her back] Any better?

Yuri: Mmmm. Much. [turns to look at Damien] This something else you learned from your dad?

Damien: Yep. I have to admit, he did teach me quite a few things.

Yuri: Seems like your father influenced you quite a bit.

Damien: Yeah. I suppose he wasn't such a bad guy, but he was a pretty lousy father. [pensively] For a long time I really resented the fact he was never a real father when I was a kid. But I guess things were kind of hard on him after my mother died.

Yuri: [drowsily] Really? [suddenly more alert] Ow!

Damien: Sorry. This may hurt a bit, `cause I think you popped something out of whack. Hold on and I'll pop it back in.

Yuri: OWW! Dammit, that...hey, y'know, that actually helped!

Damien: No pain, no gain. Anyway...yeah, my mom died when I was about, ohhh, five or six I think. She was a part of the mercenary team too, one of the squad leaders in fact. One of the other guys, an old friend of my father's, who was kind of a surrogate father for me as well, used to tell me how they met while working for opposing employers and tried to kill each other, and since they couldn't beat one another, they decided to get married!

Yuri: [smiling] Sounds like a match made in heaven.

Damien: Or somewhere. But yeah, they lasted until she got killed. On some mission I think. After that...I guess my dad just sort of retreated into himself or something, because I remember thinking he used to be...nicer before Mom died. He never seemed to joke or laugh or even smile much anymore. I was pretty damn scared of him for quite some time, actually. [smiling wryly] Not the best of father-son relationships. [finishes massaging] All done.

Yuri: [turning over and sitting next to Damien] Hey, that was great. Thanks.

Damien: My pleasure. So what was your family life like?

Yuri: Pretty tame, to tell the truth, especially compared to yours. Too tame for my tastes, I guess. Part of why I choose to join the 3WA. Travel the galaxy, meet new people, danger, action, excitement, all that good stuff.

Damien: I guess we all want what we don't have.

Yuri: [laughs] Plus Kei talked me into it.

Damien: [smiling] I'm not surprised. You two seem close.

Yuri: We're like sisters, almost. Maybe even closer, since we share just about everything.

Damien: Must make for interesting dates.

Yuri: [laughing] We don't share that much!

Damien: Good. I doubt anyone could handle both of you at once.

Yuri: What, not even you?

Damien: Do I look like I'm wearing red and blue tights with a big S on my chest? Especially not me!

Yuri: Why not?

Damien: Date two beautiful, intelligent women who could easily kill me with their bare hands? At the same time? Sorry, I don't have a death wish. [pause]

Yuri: Y'know, I think I will take up that offer for a shower now.

Damien: Down the hall, on your left.

Yuri: Thanks. See you at dinner. [leaves]

[After a while, Damien gets up and leaves as well. Strolling nonchalantly through the apartment, he finds Kei, casually dressed, in front of a mirror, trying to examine the damage to her hair.]

Damien: It looks fine.

Kei: Huh?! Oh, hi, Damien. How can you say that? It's-

Damien: Still mostly there and what little you lost will regrow. Trust me, I doubt anyone will notice. Or if they do, they'll just think you're making a fashion statement.

Kei: [smiling] Thanks, but it bothers me.

Damien: I've never understood this obsession with appearence some women have. It's like, the better-looking they are, the more they fret about it. [smiling] So I guess you prove the rule.

Kei: [rubbing up against his arm] Think so?

Damien: Of course. [smiling] By the way, was there a bruise?

Kei: No, thankfully. [slyly] Unless you want to double-check?

Damien: Thanks, but I'll take your word for it.

Kei: [somewhat icily] Your loss.

Damien: I know. But I try to keep my mind on business until it's all done. And that definitely does not count as official business, alas.

[Kei and Damien start walking aimlessly, side by side.]

Kei: Why do you work for SF?

Damien: Why do you work for the 3WA?

Kei: Because it's fun, it pays the bills, and it's something I do well. That and Yuri talked me into it. Your turn.

Damien: I guess because I need something to do to occupy my time. As you may have guessed, I really don't need the money. I dunno. Why do you ask?

Kei: It's just you come down so hard on Vanaheim's government at times I wondered-

Damien: Why I work for them? I wonder sometimes too. But I don't think it's any better elsewhere. And what I'm doing now is the closest to any good use for what skills I have. I could become a mercenary perhaps, but I don't really want to. And I've been here so long it's starting to feel like home. I have a job, money, some friends-

Kei: Do you have a girlfriend?

Damien: No, not really. I mean, I go out every once in a while, but nothing serious. People have a hard time relating to me sometimes.

Kei: Really? How come?

Damien: I guess I'm a bit too cynical at times for some people.

Kei: Huh. I hadn't noticed. [pointing] HEY, is that an indoor shooting range?

Damien: Actually it's a holographic trainer for both hand-to-hand and weapons training, among other things. Total virtual reality.

Kei: Really?! I didn't know anyone had any of those anymore. Most people just jack in for slow time training. That or use the real thing.

Damien: Well, I hate to sound arrogant, but I can't usually find enough live opponents for a real challenge.

Kei: [grinning] You should try sparring with me then.

Damien: Naw, I'd enjoy the holds too much. [pushing aside his ponytail] And I don't have a microsoft plug so I can't jack in. I have CIS.

Kei: Cybernetic Incompatibility Syndrome? [Damien nods] That must make things rough for you at times.

Damien: Well, I can't use most computers or any other sort of headware and I need to have all of my combat suits and whatnot modified, so yeah, I guess you could say it causes problems.

Kei: Isn't there supposed to be a cure or something for that?

Damien: Yeah, but it involves a good deal of extremely expensive reconstructive surgery on my nervous system. Even I can't afford it. Plus it's classified as a "mandatory liability waiver" procedure.

Kei: No guarantees, huh?

Damien: Nope. I don't really want to risk become a human vegetable.

Kei: Well, I like you the way you are!

Damien: Awww, I bet you say that to all us handsome, rich guys.

Kei: I do not! I say it to handsome, poor guys too!

Damien: [laughing] Well, glad to see you aren't biased!

HAL: [interrupting] Pardon me, Damien, but dinner is ready. I have already escorted Miss Yuri to the table.

Damien: Coming. [extends his arm to Kei] Would you care to join me?

Kei: [linking her arm with Damien's] I would be delighted.

Damien: [smiling] So long as the feeling's mutual.

[Damien and Kei enter the dining room together. Yuri is already sitting down, wearing something suitably casual. She brightens for a moment upon seeing Damien, then darkens after noticing Kei attached to his arm. Damien pulls out a chair for Kei then seats himself between Kei and Yuri.]

Damien: [to Yuri] Feeling better? Did HAL get the right size?

Yuri: Much, thanks for the massage.

Kei: [to herself] How come she got a massage and I didn't?

Yuri: And HAL did pretty good. A bit loose, but I don't mind.

HAL: My apologies, Miss Yuri. I believe one of my scanning sensors is miscalibrated. Oh, and both yours and Miss Kei's uniforms are being cleaned.

Yuri: Thank you, HAL.

Kei: [a bit sullenly] Thanks, HAL.

HAL: My pleasure. I hope you enjoy this evening's meal. [a robot butler comes up, carrying a tray of steaming food] Soup, salad, roast beef, a few other items. Nothing terribly special.

Yuri: [beaming] They smell wonderful!

[The three commence eating with the robobutler attending on them.]

HAL: Oh, and there is cheesecake for dessert. I believe that is one of your favorites, Miss Kei?

Kei: [smiling] You betcha! Thanks, HAL!

Yuri: Gee, Kei, whatever happened to your diet?

Kei: Hey, I'm allowed an occasional indulgence! Right, HAL?

Damien: [thinking] NEVER make her mad.

HAL: [to Kei] If you wish, Miss Kei. I seriously doubt it will ruin your waistline, since that is presumably your reason for dieting. I hope I did not offend you in any way by offering, though. I did not realize you were dieting. I AM sorry.

Kei: Nono, that's fine. Thanks for offering. I accept. But how did you know?

HAL: Why, Damien told me, of course.

Kei: You did?! How did YOU find out?

Damien: [looking slightly embarassed] I checked out both of your profiles very carefully before you arrived. That happened to be in there. I had no idea if you might come over or not, so I decided to play it safe and told HAL to prepare appropriately. He's actually quite a cook, better than me. Or at least more versatile.

Yuri: Oh really? Just HOW closely did you examine our profiles?

HAL: Rather exhaustively, I should say. Damien likes to be well-informed about anyone he might be working with.

Damien: [thinking] For instance, your debut in "Buxom Babes." But that's a tidbit I'll keep to myself. [shrugging, to Kei and Yuri] Just another one of my peculiarities. All I really did was tell HAL to scan Vanaheim's records for whatever he could find on you and relate it back to me. He did most of the work. Oh, that reminds me. HAL, any further luck cross-referencing data on the Disciples?

HAL: None yet, Damien. Shall I expand the search parameters?

Damien: Yeah. Oh, and find out what you can about our captive.

HAL: I am already scanning criminal files based on physical evidence.

Damien: Maybe I should just turn this whole investigation over to you.

HAL: You know that is impractical, Damien. I don't know how to drive your car.

Damien: [smiling] Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Kei: Hey, I almost forgot about our prisoner. I get first crack at him!

Yuri: Kei, sometimes you are so unsubtle. What are you going to do, beat him up?

Damien: I personally prefer drugging him, but hey, that's just me.

Kei: Ohh, that takes all the fun out of it.

Yuri: What's fun about beating up a captive? You're still ticked off about your hair, and he's not even the one who shot you!

Kei: Oh, and like you're all that forgiving! Like the time that guy made a pass at you, and you-

Yuri: Well, he was downright rude! Served him right!

Kei: I wonder if they're still trying to clone replacement organs? You didn't exactly leave enough left for them to use as genetic material.

Yuri: I didn't hurt him that badly! A couple of kicks and that was all!

[Damien is starting to look slightly ill.]

Kei: Whatever. I STILL want to interrogate him.

Yuri: Gonna use a good agent-bad agent routine on him?

Kei: How about bad agent-worse agent?

Damien: [under his breath] How about just tell him who you are? He'll spill his guts from abject terror for sure.

Kei & Yuri: WHAT WAS THAT!?!

Damien: [sweating] Huh, oh I was just wondering if HAL needed any help.

HAL: No thank you, Damien, I can manage on my own.

Damien: [weakly] Swell.

[Yuri and Kei continue arguing over interrogation methods as the view fades out.]

Kei: Come on, just a little roughing up, he'll spill his beans for sure!

Yuri: Gimme a break! Damien's idea makes more sense. We drug him, loosen his tongue a bit, and coax it out of him. You don't beat to death your informants. Or at least I don't.

Kei: It's not like I'm going to kill him! I won't even break his jaw!

Damien: [thinking] I'm going to have a headache, I just know it.

SCENE 5

[Screen starts out black. Kei, Yuri, and Damien are heard talking, but their voices sound muffled and distant.]

Damien: How much did you give him?

Yuri: 5 ccs.

Damien: Are you sure that's enough?

Yuri: Well, Kei didn't want to use any, and I wanted 10, so we comprimised on 5.

Kei: Just to make sure he isn't TOO cooperative. [cracks her knuckles] Otherwise this would be NO fun at all.

Damien: [sighing] Whatever makes you happy.

Yuri: Hey, the room was your idea.

Damien: Let's just get on with it, okay?

[The blackness is suddenly lifted like a blindfold from view and a close-up of Kei's face, with an almost demonic grin, is seen.]

Kei: Rise and shine, sweetie. We'd like to have a talk with you.

[Scene switches position and reveals Jackson, bound and gagged, in a chair in a room that looks, impossibly, like a medieval torture chamber. Kei is standing in front of him wearing a black robe and twirling the blindfold she's just removed around one finger, still leering. Yuri and Damien, also in black robes, are off to one side. Yuri is examining various torture devices while Damien is idly playing with his sword.]

Jackson: [disoriented] Wha-what is this?

Kei: Awww, don't tell me you're unfamiliar with SF interrogation techniques?

Jackson: [confused] N-no. I mean, yes. That is...?

Yuri: Hey wow a rack! I've always want to put someone on one of these!

Kei: [to Yuri] Not now, maybe later. [to Jackson, who looks frightened] Yes, well think of this as a game! The way this goes is that we ask you questions and you either answer truthfully or we hurt you! The game continues until either we run out of questions or you die! Simple, right?

Jackson: Uhhhh...

Kei: [frowning] I said, simple, RIGHT?

Jackson: Uh, yeah, right, simple, nothing to it.

Kei: [smiling angelically] See, you're getting the hang of it already! OK, next question, what's your name?

Jackson: Milo. Milo Jason.

Kei: BZZZT! Wrong! [slaps him then wags a finger in his face] We already checked and know your name is Milo JACKSON. You look rather healthy for a man who died five years ago. Can you tell us what happened that led to your remarkable recovery?

Jackson: [sweating] Uhhh...

Kei: [to Damien] Damien, be a dear and bring that cart over, would you?

Damien: [sheaths his sword, smiling] Certainly, Kei. [wheels a cart laden with scalpels, cattle prods, and other sundry pain causers] There you go!

Kei: Thank you. [picks up a knife and fingers the edge] Hmmm, a bit dull. [sharpens it] Much better! [to Jackson] Oh, by the way, there IS a time limit.

Jackson: [blurting] Five years ago, I was a truck driver. For Golgom Shipping, Inc. But I guess you know that already, huh?

Kei: Remember who asks the questions, and who answers them.

Jackson: Right, right, sorry. Anyways, one day I was fired, no explanation, no reason for termination given. I tried to get an explanation, I mean I always worked hard and did a good job, and they just up and fired me. Said I could no longer cut it but didn't say why not.

Kei: Your last performance evaluation said you were shifty and lazy.

Jackson: And it was wrong! Check all my previous evaluations. I was one of the best damn drivers they had! [notices Kei fingering the knife suggestively] I swear to God it's true!

Damien: [to Yuri softly] Should the drug have taken affect by now?

Yuri: [whispering] Probably. Which means he should be telling the truth.

Kei: [after overhearing Damien and Yuri] OK, Mr. Jackson, assuming it's true that you were unjustly fired, what happened then?

Jackson: I was a drifter mostly. I mean, I tried to find another job, but it's like no one else wanted to hire me. All because of one false, bad evaluation. Lots of nights I'd go out, get drunk, get in a fight, and get put in jail. Burned almost my entire savings that way. Then I met the Boss.

Kei: And who is the Boss?

Jackson: Well, I, uh, I don't know his name. He never told me and I never wanted to know. Anyways, he and I, we used to talk a lot. I told him about getting fired and whatnot, and he nodded and sympathized with me. Then we'd talk about how unfair things were.

Kei: [prompting] What things?

Jackson: You know, the government, business, life, I guess. He told me about how people are so conditioned, so brainwashed by whatchamacallit societal forces that stuff like what happened to me could happen and no one would even bat an eyelash because no one cared, especially not the government. He said that was one of the biggest problems with a corporate planet, that when it came to disputes between corporations and citizens, the corporation won. And he told me about how he wanted to fix things, fix it up so it wouldn't be so bad. And he asked me if I wanted to help and I said sure. [pause]

Kei: Go on. What did you do after joining with the Boss?

Jackson: Well, pretty soon I realized he was a whaddayacallit terrorist, so to speak. But I trusted him and a lot of what he said seemed RIGHT to me, know what I mean? He helped me forge my death records so's the government though I wasn't breathing anymore. And he had like a training camp, sort of, teaching us to fight and whatnot, and sometimes he'd send people to get more recruits, or go himself. And most of them were like me, people who'd lost their jobs or whatever. The ones he said had slipped through the cracks, so to speak. We spent years training and getting ready for when we'd make our move.

Kei: And what was your move?

Jackson: Well, he never fully explained it. But he said- [frowning] He said- [shakes his head] He said that we would, like, eventually put our people in control, y'know, of the government and whatnot. [shakes his head as if in pain]

Kei: Do you already have double agents working for you in the government?

Jackson: That's what the boss says. [his eyes become unfocused momentarily before he shakes his head again to clear them] Businesses too. Calls `em sympathizers to our cause.

Kei: So where is this base?

Jackson: [furrowing his brows] The base? It's...it's...NO! [terrified] Nono, I can't tell you where the base is!

Kei: [harsher] Where is your base?

Jackson: [pleading] NO! No, please, no, I can't, no, don't-!

Kei: [grabbing his shirt front] Where is it?!

Jackson: NO! I can't tell, I can't, stop, NO!

Kei: [puts the knife up to his cheek] WHERE IS IT!?!

Jackson: NOOO! [thrashes his head, cutting his cheek] No please stop don't NOOO!!! [throws his head back, howling in pain, blood streaming down his face, then collapses in his chair]

Yuri: Ick! What did you do this time, Kei?

Kei: [annoyed] Nothing, dammit! He started flailing about and then he passed out or something! [starts slapping him] C'mon, wake up, buddy!

Damien: Is he alright?

HAL: He's dead, Damien.

[Stunned silence. The trio look at each other. Kei looks upset.]

Kei: [angrily] I don't believe this! Dead?! How could he be dead?! He didn't even cut his jugular or anything else vital! [throws down the knife in frustration]

Damien: [thinking] Do not make her angry. [to Kei, soothingly] Hey, calm down, Kei-

Kei: Calm down? CALM DOWN!? Our best lead yet croaks and you want me to calm down!?! [storms out of the room]

Damien: Uhhh, Yuri, could you...? [waving in Kei's direction]

Yuri: Sure. [leaving] Hey Kei, wait up!

Damien: [thinking] Too late. She's mad. [quietly] HAL, perform a full autopsy on Jackson. Determine cause of death. [to himself] Whatever it was that killed him, it wasn't the knife. [to HAL] Forward results to HQ, let them what's happened. Disengage hologram.

[The torture chamber vanishes, revealing that it was Damien's holographic room, with only the cart and robes real. He continues to stare at Jackson's dead body until a robot takes it away. He takes off his robe, his regular clothes underneath, and puts it on the cart then turns and leaves, finding Kei and Yuri, who have also taken off their robes, in the dining room, eating cheesecake. Kei is attacking hers angrily while Yuri tries to cheer her up.]

Kei: [looks at Damien as he enters] So what killed him?

Damien: [sitting next to Kei] My guess is that some psychochemical trigger was set off, killing him. In order to make sure he didn't reveal anything too important. HAL will know for sure eventually.

Yuri: [sighing] And another potential lead goes up in smoke. [to Damien] So what now?

Damien: Well, we did get something useful out of him. So cheer up! We know a little bit more now. HAL, check records of missing people fitting Jackson's situation.

HAL: Already doing so, Damien.

Damien: I wish you'd tell me you're psychic, so I wouldn't have to wear out my voice so much. Kei, why don't you go to bed? You don't need to do anything else tonight and you look like you could use the sleep.

Kei: [finishes cheesecake] Yeah, okay. G'night Damien. G'night Yuri. [leaves]

Damien: I'm surprised she's taking it so hard.

Yuri: She might feel more than a little responsible for losing our best information source. She's probably mad at herself for letting him die.

Damien: Do YOU blame her?

Yuri: No. I mean, we all should have realized it sooner.

Damien: Yeah. I should have had HAL scan him for some sort of death mechanism like that before we starting interrogating him. [pause as the robobutler takes away the plates] Listen, do you want to go to sleep too, maybe cheer Kei up some?

Yuri: [shaking her head] I think Kei wants to be alone for now. And considering the mood she's in, that's fine with me. Maybe I'll look at your data some. Where's a terminal?

Damien: HAL, could you show her the way?

HAL: Of course. [a robot whizzes up] If you would follow me, Miss Yuri?

Yuri: [pauses] Yes, of course. See you later, Damien.

Damien: Bye, Yuri.

[Yuri leaves, following the robot. Damien gets up and walks into the next room where a holophone is. He sits down and punches in a code. Yuri jacks into the terminal and starts typing. Damien's call connects and Plug's bust appears.]

Plug: So how'd it go with the prisoner?

Damien: He croaked. PC trigger is my guess. Told us some interesting tidbits, though, like the fact the Disciples are supposed to have a training camp somewhere. How about the van?

Plug: Nada. Unregistered, no serial numbers, no license, nothing useful. Not that there was much left to examine.

Damien: [wincing] Any casualities when it crashed?

Plug: Do you really want to know?

Damien: [grimacing] Probably not.

Plug: Benindict is "being a dict" about this. He's seriously pissed, Boss.

Damien: [smiling faintly] When is he not? [pauses for a moment to think] Look, could you arrange an orbital planet-wide scan?

Plug: Do I have your authority, or is this, ahhh, off the record?

Damien: No, if anyone gives you flak, tell `em to call me. I have carte blanche clearance on this case, `bout time it proved useful.

Plug: Then no problem. I take it we're looking for the Disciples hideout, right?

Damien: [nodding] Bingo. Hopefully something useful will turn up. Thanks, Plug. I appreciate this.

Plug: You're welcome. So, [smiling] how's it going with those two?

Damien: Good NIGHT, Plug.

Plug: Right, right. Catch ya later, Boss. [disconnects]

Damien: [hangs up and muses to himself] They call him Boss too.

[Cut to Yuri, who has stopped hacking to talk to Mughi using her communicator.]

Yuri: Anyway, that's how things stand now. We'll call you if we need any help. [pauses, then frowns] VERY funny, Mughi. Good night. [breaks the connection then gets back to hacking, yawning]

[Back to Damien, who is calling Max, a grease-stained brunette wearing a baseball cap backwards.]

Max: Man, Damien, you really abused it this time.

Damien: I know, Max, I know. So can you fix it?

Max: [wounded] Of COURSE I can fix it, it's a matter of how long it takes. Yer looking at at least a day or two, and THAT'S assuming I have all the parts in stock. If not, well, you know how long it takes to get custom parts for this car.

Damien: As long as she flies, that's all I really care about. You can fix the other gadgets later. I think I'm going to need her again soon.

Max: [dubious] Well, I'll do what I can, but no guarantees.

Damien: There never are. Thanks, Max, I really appreciate this. I'll buy you dinner sometime.

Max: [sourly] Naw, I'd have to shower first. Bye, Damien.

Damien: See ya, Max. [hangs up, mutters to himself] There's an exception to every rule. [louder] HAL, any luck?

HAL: I'm not finished yet, but it appears you were right. Residual traces of a psychochemical trigger are present in the brain. Most likely combined with hypnotic suggestion or indoctrination to activate when certain questions were asked. Rather effective and nasty, I might add.

Damien: Thanks, HAL. Lemme know what else you find out, OK?

HAL: Of course, Damien.

[Damien stands and strolls around the room, idly examining the furnishings. He stops when he comes to a holocube, featuring male and female mercenaries in dirt-streaked armor posing for a picture, and takes it down from its display case. He examines a couple of the figures carefully. First there is someone who looks like an older version of Damien but with a beard which is presumably his father. Then there is the blond woman at his side, smiling broadly and holding hands with Damien's father triumphantly in the air. Finally he stops to focus on a smiling, grizzled, grey-haired veteran standing on the other side of Damien's father. He fingers the cube idly for a moment before replacing it.]

Damien: Good night, Boss.

[Damien exits the room, the lights shutting off automatically. Only the holocube glows dimly in the pitch darkness.]

[Switch to Yuri, who has fallen asleep at the terminal. Damien passes by the open door, notices Yuri, and comes in, smiling. Gently he disconnects the umbilical cord from her headjack and turns off the terminal. He picks her up, careful not to wake her up, and carries her to her and Kei's room. Leaving the lights off, he walks to the empty bed, puts Yuri down, and tucks her in.]

Damien: [softly] Good night, Yuri.

[Damien heads out the door, which closes quietly behind him. Kei sits up and stares, first at the door then at Yuri, for a moment, then lies down, closes her eyes, rolls over on one side, and falls asleep.]

SCENE 6

[Damien is in his room, sleeping restlessly on his bed. He tosses and turns, sweating profusely, evidently having a nightmare. Switch to a battle scene, possessing that hazy quality only dreams and flashbacks possess. His old mercenary unit is engaged in a battle in a narrow canyon, evidently under attack from the ledges. A high wind is blowing reddish-brown sand around, obscuring everything. View of Damien in his powered armor suit, sweating.]

Damien: [to himself] I hate ambushes!

Damien's father: [over the radio] Damien! Fall back! Get out of the canyon now!

Damien: What about the rest of the team?!

Damien's father: Don't worry about us! Go!

Damien: Are you crazy?! SIR! You'll need everyone just to-

[Damien's father's mech appears out of the swirling dust, looming over Damien]

Damien's father: Dammit, that's an order! Get out of here now!

Damien: No way I'm-

[Damien's father fires his shock cannon at Damien, who screams in pain from the electrical jolt before passing out.]

Damien's father: [muttering] I don't have time for this.

[Damien's father picks up Damien's suit with one hand while clearing off a nearby transport sled with a swipe of his other hand and places Damien flat on it.]

Damien's father: HAL, get him out of here.

HAL: Of course, sir. [pause] Goodbye, sir.

[The transport sled starts up, hovers, and rushes out of the canyon, dodging or absorbing fire as Damien's father covers its flight. Just as it escapes, more of Damien's team approaches Damien's father.]

Teammate 1: So this is how it ends, huh, sir?

Damien's father: I...I'm sorry.

Teammate 2: Hey, don't get sentimental on us yet, sir! Gotta wait at least until you're old enough to retire first, sir.

Teammate 3: Yeah, I don't mind dying, but I'll be damned if it's because you've gone senile. Sir.

Damien's father: [smiling thinly] Damn straight. [louder, in a commanding tone] Black Blade Company, move out!

[The hoversled is sailing across a desert, the canyon rapidly receeding in the distance. Damien regains consciousness.]

Damien: Ow. Shit. Shot by own father. [notices he's moving] Huh?! Wha-?! [realizes what's happening] HAL, turn this thing around now! [thinking] My suit's frozen!

HAL: I'm sorry, Damien, but I must comply with your father's last order.

Damien: Huh? Last order? Don't gimme this shit and turn us around n-

[A tremendous explosion from the canyon rocks the canyon walls, causing them to collapse in a huge avalance, completely burying the canyon floor and sending up huge clouds of dust and sand. Damien stares in wide-eyed horror at his monitor.]

Damien: [whispering] No. [louder as he shuts his eyes] No.

[Abruptly Damien bolts upright in bed, awake, his mouth open as if he was about to scream, the dream over. He takes several deep breaths, rubbing the back of one hand across his sweaty brow, the other clutching his bare chest tightly as if in pain.]

Damien: Lights, HAL.

HAL: Of course, Damien.

[The lights come on. Rubbing the back of his neck and his eyes, Damien gets up, underwear-clad. He winces with each step towards the door.]

HAL: Are you alright, Damien?

Damien: [stops walking] I'm touched by this show of concern by everyone in the last twenty four hours for my health, but I'm okay. Damn PKs are giving me a bloody headache, that's all.

HAL: Are you sure? I took the liberty of checking the medical records, and those were not minor injuries you received yesterday. Fractured and broken ribs, punctured lung-

Damien: Yeah yeah, I know. But the operation was successful so I'll get well.

HAL: [hint of disbelief] Perhaps, but you did leave post-OP recovery against the recommendations of the doctors.

Damien: [vaguely annoyed] If I want a nurse or a wife, I'll let you know. In the meantime, just trust me, all right?

HAL: [unconvinced, but forced to agree] As you wish, Damien.

Damien: Thank you, HAL.

[Damien heads out the door, stumbling a bit as he makes his way to the bathroom. Kei and Yuri are coming toward him, bright-eyed and cheerful, dressed in uniform, and eyeing him speculatively.]

Damien: [thinking] Oh God, please tell me they're not morning people.

Yuri: [smiling] Gooood morning!

Kei: [also smiling] How are you doing today, Damien?

Damien: [thinking] They are. Great. [to Kei and Yuri, with forced friendliness] Better, once I take a shower and have some caffeine flowing through my veins.

HAL: The coffee is being fixed even as you speak, Damien.

Damien: Great. [yawning] Excuse me, ladies, but I'm less than civil right now, so if you don't mind-

Yuri: [moving to one side] Of course not.

Kei: [moving to the other side] Do you need any help?

Damien: [smiling] Thanks, but I've been washing myself for quite some time, I think I'll manage.

[Damien proceeds past the Pair towards the bathroom while Kei and Yuri watch him go with interest. After he disappears, they smile at each other.]

Kei: Not too shabby.

Yuri: Oh, so I suppose you're flushed with fever right now because you're sick, right?

Kei: Yeah, it must be contagious, since apparently you have it too.

Yuri: [pretending to ignore Kei] HAL, what's for breakfast?

HAL: What do you want?

Kei: We need one of these back on the Lovely Angel, Yuri.

Yuri: Yeah, then I don't have to deal with your cooking.

Kei: Funny, I was going to say the same thing about yours.

HAL: Alas, I am afraid I am one of a kind. But I will try my best to fix you a suitable breakfast to compensate.

Yuri: [thinking] Hmmm, what should it be?

[Damien is standing in the shower, his head bowed in the water stream, leaning with both hands against the wall {who says we pander only to male prurient interests?}. He eventually turns off the water, steps out, dries himself, wraps a towel around his waist, and goes back towards his room. The Pair are still in the hallway, thinking about breakfast, as he comes back.]

Yuri: THAT was fast.

Damien: [smiling] It's a gift. [goes into his room]

Kei: [eyeing Damien's door] Hmmm...

Yuri: I don't think that counts, Kei.

Kei: [shrugging] Oh well, some other time then. I almost can't deal with all these possibilities.

Yuri: Considering what you usually have for breakfast, I'm not surpised.

[The Pair head off toward the dining room, while Damien is getting dressed in his uniform. His injuries make his movements stiff and awkward at times. Having apparently made up their minds, the Pair are examining Damien's gear while waiting for HAL to fix breakfast. Damien comes in unseen, sipping coffee, his wet hair tied back in a ponytail again, as the Pair are examining his gun.]

Kei: [showing Yuri an ammo clip] Wow, real bullets. [hefting the gun] Heavy, too.

Yuri: Yeesh. I didn't think anyone carried these any more. Next thing you know you'll be seeing shell casings.

Damien: It was my father's gun.

Kei: [surprised and a little embarassed at being caught] Oh. Sorry, just looking at your stuff.

Damien: S'okay. As long as you don't fire it in here.

Yuri: How come you still use it? Getting ammo must be a pain.

Damien: [shrugging] It has to be custom-made, but I know someone who does it relatively cheap. Why I use it? I dunno, sentimental reasons, maybe. My father thought it was a good luck charm. The one time he didn't carry it with him was the mission he died on, so maybe it is lucky. [smiling] And it lets me pull off neat stunts like the one yesterday with the mech.

Kei: Can't argue with that. [puts the gun back in its holster]

Yuri: Damien, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up-

Damien: [waving it away] You didn't know. It doesn't bother me anymore anyways. [puts down his coffee mug, takes the utility belt and gun holster and dons them, smiles] Much better. I feel kind of vulnerable without it. So, Yuri, did you learn anything useful last night?

Yuri: Oh. Ahhh, not really. [looking uncomfortable] And, uhhh, thanks for, um...

Damien: No sweat. [smiling] You would have woken up with my keyboard impanted on the side of your face, and I couldn't allow that, now could I?

Yuri: [laughing nervously] I guess not.

Kei: Say, don't you dry your hair?

Damien: Who, me? I figure, why bother? It's a pain to do it myself and it does it well enough on its own. I'm just going to wash it again in another twenty four hours, so why waste time on it?

Yuri: Really? What a shame. You have nice hair.

Damien: [shrugging] Hair is hair. The only differences I can ever tell is length and color, and the only one I ever care about is length; the longer the better in my opinion.

Yuri: Yours or other people's?

Damien: Both.

Kei: [a bit annoyed] So what's our next move?

Damien: [shrugs] Beats me. I thought you might know. I asked Plug to arrange for a planet-wide scan. Told him to look for the Disciples base. Of course, if they have any sort of anti-sensor equipment it'll probably be practically worthless, but if they're as big as I think they are, there's bound to be at least SOME form of radiation seeping out. Nothing useful in the van's wreakage, by the way.

Kei: Big surprise.

Damien: Beyond that, I'm not sure what other leads we have to follow up.

Yuri: [thoughtfully] Y'know, Jackson mentioned he met the Boss in some bar, right?

Damien: Yeah. Go on.

Yuri: [slowly] Well, he also used to get into bar room brawls, right? And he probably got arrested more than once, right? SO if one of the bars he got arrested in was the one he met the Boss in, it should be on file, right?

Damien: You may have something there. Old police records should indicate which bars he got arrested in. Kind of a long shot, though...

Kei: Hey, didn't he say something about how they'd recruit people who'd, like, lost their jobs and whatnot? Well, maybe they recruited them from the same sort of bars, y'know, where they'd go after getting fired, drowning their sorrows or whatever. And maybe some of these recruits were also the type to get in bar room brawls too!

Damien: [regarding the Pair with respect] Brains AND beauty. What a combination. HAL, did you hear?

HAL: Yes, Damien.

Damien: Good. Start scanning old records for people meeting those sort of qualifications; fired, record of public drunkenness and brawling, death under "mysterious" circumstances, cross reference it. Look for suitable patterns.

HAL: Of course, Damien, I'll get right on it. Oh, by the way, breakfast is ready.

Damien: Thanks, HAL. [to the Pair, smiling] Care to join me for breakfast?

Kei & Yuri: Of course.

Damien: [muttering] Maybe this assignment isn't so bad after all.

Kei & Yuri: What's THAT supposed to mean?!

Damien: [to himself] Oops. I think I'm in trouble.

[During breakfast, Damien apparently off the hook, HAL interrupts.]

HAL: I've completed the autopsy, Damien.

Damien: [swallowing] OK, let's have it.

HAL: In addition to the psychochemical trigger, I found residual traces of a sandsnake venom extract.

Damien: Which variant?

HAL: Beta.

Damien: [thoughtfully] Hmmm...

Yuri: What's beta variant sandsnake venom extract?

Damien: It's a purified version of sandsnake venom, something nasty in its own right which ordinarily has lots of effects on the human body. The beta variant, when ingested, makes the victim susceptible to verbal suggestions, particularly when reinforced over time.

Kei: Gee, would it work if you, say, put it in someone's beer?

HAL: Considering the fact that alcohol in no way neutralizes the venom, and may in fact enhance its overall effect on the brain, I would say yes.

Yuri: And if you kept the victim on it for months, maybe years...

Damien: You end up with one really devout terrorist. VERY slick. HAL, any luck with that list of bars?

HAL: I have found a number of potential places, all located in downtown Vanaheim City.

Damien: Figures. All appropriately seedy, I suppose?

HAL: Indeed.

Damien: I think we're going information gathering after breakfast.

Yuri: Oh goody!

Kei: This oughta be interesting!

Damien: [thinking] I believe they're taking just a BIT too much delight in this job. [to the Pair] Um, it might be a good idea to leave the uniforms behind. People there are unlikely to feel like talking to us if they knew who we are. HAL can synthesize some clothes for you if you need some.

Kei: The perfect husband!

Damien: Or wife. It all depends on your point of view.

Yuri: Probably want concealable holsters too.

Damien: Yup. Carrying weapons openly is another no-no.

Kei: Cool! We get to go undercover!

[Later, the trio are entering a seedy bar. Damien is dressed pretty much the same as usual, except his jacket lacks the SF emblem on the chest and he is no longer wearing the utility belt. Kei and Yuri are dressed in as much or as little as the reader feels is appropriate. The bar is pretty empty except for the bartender and a couple of early drunkards.]

Yuri: [whispering to Damien] Is this the place?

Damien: [whispering back] According to HAL it's the best place to start.

Kei: [walks up to the bartender, smiling winningly] I was wondering if you could help us.

Bartender: [returning Kei's smile] Depends. Whaddaya need?

Kei: Right now, some information. [suggestively] Later...who knows?

Damien: [whispering to Yuri] She's practiced this before, hasn't she?

Yuri: [whispering] For Kei, it's an artform.

Bartender: Info is money. What have you got to offer?

Kei: [leans forward slightly] Oh, I'm sure we can work out...something.

Bartender: [raising an eyebrow] I'll bet. So what do you want to know?

Kei: Well, [digging around in a pocket, pulls out a picture of Jackson] I've been trying to find this guy. Can you help?

Bartender: [looks at the picture] Why you want to find him?

Kei: Info is money, remember?

Bartender: Right, right. I don't need to know that bad.

Kei: Well, anyways, I heard he used to hang around here a long time ago. Got into a couple of brawls even.

Bartender: Hmmm, yeah, now that you mention it, I think I recognize him. He started a really big fight four or five years ago. [laughing] We had to close for a week in order to repair the damages. I haven't seen him since; my boss refused to ever let him back in. Heard he died, though. Fraid you're wasting your time, lady.

Kei: [innocently] Really? He's dead? Imagine that... Do you know if I could find any friends of his? It's REALLY important to me.

Bartender: Well, I've heard rumors he'd fallen in with this weird dude. Some revolution spouter.

Kei: Really? Wow.

Bartender: [nodding] Yeah. This revolutionary, he goes around, talking to these poor drunk saps, suckering them with his talk, then one day they get killed. Probably his fault too. But he just goes on, collecting more wretches. [snorts] Maybe he's doing a public service. Half these guys can't afford their bar bills anyway.

Kei: Do you know if there's any way I could find him?

Bartender: Well, I haven't seen him around lately, but he usually comes around once in a while. In the evenings. You may want to check back later. Or try some other bar; I hear he goes around to all of them.

Kei: Great! I'll see you this evening then, if you're here. [eyeing him coyly] We can discuss your...payment then.

Bartender: [smiling] Later, then.

Kei: [waving] Bye! [whispering to Kei and Damien] Let's go.

[The three leave, the bartender watching them - well, Kei and Yuri at least - go. A few moments later, a big bruiser emerges from a back room.]

Bruiser: Was that them?

Bartender: [nodding] Tell the Boss they'll probably come back later this evening. He'll know what to do.

[The bruiser nods and goes back through the door. Meanwhile the trio in question are walking around outside.]

Yuri: So what do you think?

Damien: Pretty eager to answer your questions, for all his "info is money" crap.

Kei: [grinning] Hey, wouldn't you?

Damien: [smiling] Probably. But there's still something I don't like...

Kei: Aw, c'mon, he just fell sway to my infinite charms.

Yuri: [snorting] There's a subtle difference between "charm" and "seduce," Kei.

Kei: [waving it away] Whatever. It got the job done and it didn't cost us anything, right?

Damien: Can't argue with her effectiveness, I'll admit.

Kei: So anyways, we make a run through the rest of the bars, scope `em out, then come back tonight, right? Piece of cake.

Damien: [doubtfully] I guess.

Yuri: Oh quit worrying so much, Damien. Even I agree with Kei, this shouldn't be too much trouble. Especially if Kei is willing to play a tramp.

Damien: It's my job to worry.

Kei: [fuming] Who are you calling a tramp?!

Yuri: Well, what else do you call it, leading contacts by the nose like that? Or maybe that's the wrong portion of their anatomy.

Kei: I suppose you could do better, right, Miss Perfect?!

[Damien is slowly edging his way backwards.]

Damien: [thinking] They're going to get me killed.

Yuri: I could at least be a little less...obvious. You did the same sort of thing back in school.

Kei: Well, I've never known you to be adverse to showing a little skin, either! Or have you forgotten that time on Kalevala when you suckered that guy out of his aircar!?

Yuri: It doesn't mean I have to behave like you!

Kei: Naw, you just choose to, right!?

Damien: Umm, could we-

Kei & Yuri: WHAT!?!

Damien: Nothing nothing go back to whatever it was you were discussing.

[Kei and Yuri continue arguing as Damien just shakes his head.]

Damien: [thinking] Correction. They're going to kill me.

SCENE 7

[Damien's apartment. Yuri is using the holo-trainer, taking on three holographic foes bare-handed. Kei is nearby, watching professional wrestling and getting emotionally worked up. Damien can be seen through a doorway, talking to Plug on the phone.]

Plug: [dubious] I can do it, no sweat, but are you sure you want me to build it? If someone else gets it-

Damien: [cutting him off] So build a security system into it. Or I'll break it myself if need be. But build it. I think I'm going to need it.

Plug: Well, if you're sure, but I'm not taking the heat if something goes wrong.

Damien: I'll take full responsibility. Any luck with the scan?

Plug: I sent the results to HAL for analysis. I took a quick look and didn't notice anything suspicious.

Damien: HAL?

HAL: I'm sorry, Damien, but I have examined the results carefully and can find nothing out of the ordinary.

Damien: Nothing? Are you sure?

HAL: I could check again, but I have already scrutinized it five times with varying search patterns. No suspicious structures, no abnormal energy readings, no indication of high concentrations of human beings where there shouldn't be.

Damien: Well, check again just to be sure.

HAL: Certainly, Damien.

Plug: Think Jackson was lying?

Damien: [thoughtfully] It's possible, I suppose, but after we doped him he should have been incapable of lying. At least about something that major. But it may have interacted oddly with the sandsnake venom extract in his blood. [musing] Now where would I hide a terrorist training camp? Someplace I couldn't be found, no matter how hard someone looked.

[Pause as both Damien and Plug consider. Suddenly Plug snaps his fingers.]

Plug: I got it! The Feld Desert!

Damien: [energetically] Of course! Why didn't I think of it?! It's so obvious! The sand would interfere with any sensor reading! Perfect camouflage! You'd be lucky to spot a base visually if you were right next to it!

Plug: You could build it underground, avoid any detection!

Damien: Brilliant! HAL, concentrate your search on the Feld Desert.

HAL: I already am, Damien, after you and Plug mentioned it as a likely possibility.

Damien: Thanks, HAL. [to Plug] Tell the others about this, have them modify the suits for desert action. And get working on that item.

Plug: [nodding] I'm on it, Boss. Later. [disconnects]

[Yuri has managed to eliminate two of her foes. She jumps, flips, and attempts a handstand on the shoulders of the last one, but passes right through it instead. Fortunately, she recovers from her surprise and defeats it anyway. The wrestling match has been interrupted with commercials, leaving Kei grumbling.]

Kei: Judge must be blind, that was an illegal move if I ever saw one...

Yuri: [panting and sweating] It's not like you never used it.

[Commercial switches to a news update. The anchor is droning in the background with a picture of a middle-aged man inset in the corner. The Pair ignore it.]

Anchor: Prime Minister candidate Frank Drebbin held a press conference today, denouncing the current administration-

Kei: There aren't any rules in our fights, but there are supposed to be ones in wrestling. What's the point of rules if no one follows them?

Yuri: [facetiously] Gee, are you suuure you're the same Kei I work with? Ms. Rules-Were-Meant-To-Be-Broken.

[Damien is talking with Max on the phone. The news continues in the background.]

Anchor: -in particular its inability to deal with the recent surge in terrorist activities-

Max: Well, she'll fly, but no promises I can get the mods done in time.

Damien: Do your best. I need it to be ready for Feld Desert duty, and probably soon. Tonight, perhaps.

Kei: Awww, that's different and you know it.

Yuri: [smiling] Oh reeeeally? How?

Anchor: -committed by an organization known as the Disciples of Cerberus-

Max: I'll let you know when the work's done.

Damien: Great. Thanks, Max. Bye. [hangs up]

Kei: It just burns me up that they waste their time having judges and whatnot and they can't even make a simple call!

Yuri: Wow, I had no idea you cared.

Anchor: -recent polls show Drebbin possesses a significant lead over incumbent Leslie Nelson-

Kei: If you're implying I don't follow regs-

Yuri: Nothing could be further from my mind. After all, you certainly can't be expected to follow rules you're not aware of.

Anchor: -rumors that the 3WA has been petitioned for assistance and in particular that the infamous "Dirty Pair" have been sent-

[Damien is restraining Kei and Yuri from shooting his TV.]

Anchor: -have been denied by Vanaheim officials. According to Department of Internal Security chief Benindict, "This is a local problem and will be dealt with on the local level."

TV voice: We now return to Wrestlers Galore.

[Wrestling program resumes. Damien lets go of the Pair, who calm down.]

Yuri: [apologetically] Sorry.

Kei: Yeah. Guess it's kind of a reflex action for us.

Damien: [less than thrilled but not interested in pressing the point] Forget it. I have news. Apparently the Disciples are located in the Feld Desert.

Yuri: Really?

HAL: Damien, I have not ver-

Damien: [cutting in excitedly] It's like Sherlock Holmes says, "when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

Yuri: Why are they in this Feld Desert?

Kei: [to herself] Who's Sherlock Holmes?

Damien: It because of the sand. It's not silicon, but a fine metallic compound. Completely screws with instrument readings, particularly during sandstorms. Hides them perfectly from planetary sweeps. Plus it's the native habitat of sandsnakes.

Kei: Meaning they'd have a ready supply of venom extract for recruiting.

Damien: [nodding] Right. Hell, they may even be raising them. No one else has managed to, but that doesn't mean they can't.

Yuri: If that's so, how do we find them?

Damien: Looks like we're going to have to hope our lead works out tonight.

Kei: Still worried?

Damien: A bit. Of all the bars we went to, only that one remembered Jackson and his recruiter. That bartender has one hell of a memory. That, or...

Yuri: You think we're being set up?

Damien: It's possible. I just think we should be ready for trouble.

Kei: We always are!

[Later. Damien is putting on his shoulder holster and strapping his sword to his back, hilt down. He puts on his jacket and checks to make sure the sword and gun are hidden. Nodding, he starts stuffing sundry items in pockets.]

HAL: Damien, Max has just returned the car.

Damien: Great. Thanks, HAL. [puts on glasses]

[Kei and Yuri enter, smiling, dressed in something appropriately stunning, and pose for Damien's benefit.]

Yuri: Well?

Kei: What do you think?

Damien: [thinking] Wow. [to the Pair, bowing] Even more enchanting than ever. [smiling] Dressed to kill?

Kei: Always.

Damien: Time to go, then.

[Later the trio are entering the bar. A large crowd is present, much of which is centered around a heavy metal band playing on a small stage. All male eyes lock on to the Pair. The trio approach the bar, apparently oblivious to the attention they're drawing. The bartender sees Kei and waves. Kei smiles and waves back.]

Kei: So is he here?

Bartender: Yup. You're in luck. He's over in the corner table drinking. Big blond dude.

Kei: Thanks. [winking] I'll see you later.

Bartender: [grinning] Later.

[The trio make their way over to the corner. The suspected recruiter, a large, muscular male {the Arnie effect!} with long blond hair, is quietly sipping his drink, watching as the trio approach. The band stops for a break just as the three reach him.]

Recruiter: May I help you?

Kei: [sitting down, smiling] That depends. We hear you're sort of a, ahhh, sympathizer, so to speak.

Yuri: That you try to cheer people up when they're down.

Damien: [softly] That you don't particularly like the government.

Recruiter: [smiling thinly] Did you rehearse that? [seriously] That may be true. What does it matter to you if it is?

Kei: [innocently] Oh nothing really, we were just wondering if you could help us find an old friend of ours.

Yuri: [shows a picture] Milo Jackson.

Recruiter: Ah. I believe I remember him. Poor fellow was killed some time ago, I believe. Hit and run accident or some such. [pause] You, ah, certainly took your time to inquire about your "friend."

Kei: We've been away for a long time.

Damien: Anyway, we heard the same thing, but we sort of feel that he may have...faked his death.

Recruiter: Good heavens, whatever for?

[Switch to a darkened room, looking over the shoulder of the terrorist leader, who is watching the trio talking with the recruiter on a security monitor. His helper is standing nearby.]

Helper: What do you think, Boss?

Leader: Let's wait a bit.

Kei: That's what we want to know.

Yuri: We thought you could help.

Recruiter: I'm sorry, but I doubt I could.

Damien: Oh really? Why not?

Kei: We were under the impression you were quite close to him before he died.

Yuri: Isn't there anything you could tell us?

Recruiter: Not really. I bought him a few drinks, tried to help him back on his feet, that's all.

Yuri: We thought you were some sort of political agitator.

Damien: That you were influencing him.

Kei: That maybe, just maybe, you were a part of a...group.

Helper: It looks like the reports about Jackson's capture were true.

Leader: Yes, unfortunately. I'm going to miss him. But since they haven't caught on to the fact they're talking to the wrong person yet, perhaps his death wasn't in vain.

Recruiter: Not really. We talked often, but nothing more than idle chatter.

Damien: Just out of curiosity, are you familiar with beta sandsnake extract?

Recruiter: I've heard of it. Isn't that the one that makes a person susceptible to verbal suggestions?

Leader: [sighing] I had hoped to avoid this for a while, but... [into a mike] Kill them. But make it look like a bar room brawl.

[A group of thugs detaches itself from the bar and makes its way towards the quartet. The band has started up again, blaring away.]

Damien: It certainly is. Ever-

Thug 1: [with a drunken slur to Kei] Hey honey, wanna dance?

Kei: [icily] No thanks pal.

Thug 1: [putting a hand on her arm] Aw, c'mon, it'll be great!

Thug 2: Y'c'n even bring yer friend. [grabs Yuri's shoulder] How `bout it, beutiful?

Damien: They're not interested, boys. Try not to trip on your way out.

Thug 3: Hey pal, keep out of this!

Damien: Shouldn't you guys be out molesting children right now?

Thug 3: [livid] Why you bastard! [pulls out a knife and lunges]

[Damien dodges, still sitting, the knife whistling past his head, then grabs the thug's arm and breaks it.]

Yuri: [muttering] REAL good.

Thug 1: C'mon, honey. [snuggles Kei]

Kei: Let go, asshole! [slams her palm up into his chin, knocking him back]

[Yuri sighs, shaking her head, then elbows the thug standing behind her in the gut. He groans, clutching his stomach. Yuri follows up with her fist, knocking him out.]

Remaining thugs: GET `EM!!

[All hell breaks loose. The trio jump to their feet and let the thugs have it, bare-handed. Breaking chairs and smashing tables, they engage in one hell of a brawl. It's when the other patrons in the bar start pulling out guns that Damien realizes something is amiss.]

Damien: They're trying to kill us!

Kei: It's a trap!

Yuri: What was your first clue?!

[Damien kicks over a table for cover and the trio dive behind it as shots go off. They pull out their guns.]

Yuri: So much for subtlety.

Kei: I don't believe this!

Damien: What's not to believe? [pulls out a small disc] Cover your eyes.

[The Pair do so as Damien hurls the disc. It explodes in a flash of light, blinding almost everyone in the room. The recruiter, however, appears unaffected as he gets up, knocks the table aside, and charges the trio. Damien fires on him. Multiple explosive rounds make his head and torso disappear in a cloud of smoke and he falls on his back.]

Damien: Go for the bar!

[The trio run and vault the bar just as some of their assailants recover and start firing wildly. The bartender is still behind the bar, rubbing his eyes.]

Kei: [angrily] Payback time, asshole! [Shoots the bartender in the head]

Yuri: You know, we MIGHT have been able to question him.

Kei: Screw `em all.

Damien: [smiling] Careful what you say, they might think it's an offer.

[The three, crouched behind the bar, trade shots with the other people in the bar.]

Kei: Shame on you, you naughty boy!

Damien: Sorry, old habits die hard. {Or is it...never mind!} [wryly] Are all your dates like this?

Yuri: No, usually they're MUCH more exciting.

Damien: Any more excitement and I'll need a stretcher. Or a bed.

[The smoke around the recruiter's head clears and he slowly stands up, his gunshot wounds revealing he is a cyborg. Someone lobs a grenade at the bar, blowing up the trio's cover.]

Kei, Yuri, & Damien: SHIT!!

[The Pair jump into the thick of things, while Damien turns on the recruiter.]

Damien: [drawing his sword] There was a time when a man died when you shot him in his head.

Cyborg: [with a nasty grin] Guess this is your bad day then.

Damien: [smiling] Nah, just means I have to work overtime.

[The recruiter charges Damien who leaps out of the way, making an ineffective strike with his sword. Kei fumbles with a grenade, lobbing it and blowing up the stage. Yuri hurls the Bloody Card, which for a change swipes through a number of people before she catches it.]

Yuri: Perfect! [shoots someone]

Kei: For once. [kicks someone]

[Damien dodges another attack by jumping onto a table. The cyborg smashs the table to splinters as he attacks again, but Damien leaps over him, slaming his sword into the cyborg's neck as he passes, then lands on the floor. The cyborg wipes the back of his neck with his hand, which is covered with a oily yellow liquid.]

Cyborg: [furiously] You son of a bitch!

Damien: Let's not get personal about this.

Cyborg: I'll rip your head off!

Damien: Sounds painful. I'll pass.

Yuri: Oh, you're just sour graping again. [punches someone]

Kei: Ha! That damn thing's more unreliable than-

[Unseen by Kei, another thug sneaks up behind her with a club.]

Yuri: Kei! Behind you!

[Too late, Kei is hit on the back of the head and falls to the ground.]

Yuri: KEI!!

[Damien, momentarily distracted by Yuri's scream, also gets punched in the head.]

Cyborg: HA! What you get for letting yourself get distracted.

[Damien wipes a trickle of blood from his mouth with the back of his sword hand.]

Damien: I'll keep that in mind. Guess I should stop fooling around, then. [shoots out the cyborg's eyes, blinding him]

Cyborg: [clutching his face] You bastard! I'll kill you!

Damien: [maneuvers around behind the cyborg] Somehow- [puts the gun up to the back of the cyborg's neck, where the sword wound is] -I doubt it. [fires several times into the wound, decapitating the cyborg] Overconfidence killed the cyborg. [reloads gun]

[Yuri is fighting like a woman possessed to protect her partner. Kei sits up, rubbing her head. Damien notices the leader and helper emerge from an office and surreptiously make their way to the door.]

Kei: Ouch, that hurt. [startled when someone nearly steps on her] Bastard! [shoots him in the groin]

Damien: Kei! Yuri! [pointing at the fleeing terrorists] Stop them!

Yuri: [gasping] Stop them yourself! We're busy!

[Damien almost retorts but gets attacked and says nothing. The two are almost out the door before Damien starts to chase them.]

Damien: Stop! [to himself] How come that never works?

[Damien leaps dramatically through a glass window. A few moments later, Kei and Yuri have finally finished off the remaining thugs. Corpses abound in the thoroughly wrecked bar.]

Yuri: This is like a bad habit.

Kei: Harder to quit than smoking. Where'd Damien go?

Yuri: Outside. Let's go.

[The two terrorists run up to their hovercar in an alleyway. Damien charges out of the nearby shadows, knocking them both away from the doors. He points his gun and sword at them.]

Damien: Alright, you two are-

[Damien stops, pale, as he (and the reader too) sees the terrorist leader's face for the first time. It's the same white-haired man as in the holopicture of Damien's old mercenary team.]

Damien: [shocked whisper] Boss?

Leader: Damien?

Helper: [draws a gun, aiming at Damien's head] Boss! Look out!

Leader: NO!

[The leader knocks the gun downward as it goes off. Damien is hit in the stomach, knocked down by the blast onto his back, just as Kei and Yuri arrive.]

Kei & Yuri: DAMIEN!!

[The Pair fire at the terrorists as they jump into the hovercar. The fans start, kicking up debris, temporarily blinding the Pair, and swirling Damien's hair.]

Damien: [whispering] Boss...

Kei: Shit!

Yuri: Damien!

[The Pair kneel at his side.]

Kei: He's bleeding!

Yuri: Quick, call an ambulance!

[Kei uses her communicator as Yuri rips open Damien's jacket. Sure enough, the shot penetrated his armor and his stomach. Yuri takes off her jacket, futilely trying to staunch the bleeding with it. The scene fades out.]

Kei: I need a MedEvac, these coordinates, now!

Yuri: Dammit Damien, you can't die!

SCENE 8

[A hospital room. The Pair are talking quietly with a doctor. Damien is lying in bed, hooked up to whatever sort of machines you expect to find in a mid-22nd century hospital recovery room.]

Yuri: Shouldn't he be awake by now?

Doctor: Not necessarily. We gave him some pretty heavy sedatives.

Kei: So will he be alright?

Doctor: He should be. A decimeter higher and he'd be dead.

Damien: [hoarsely] A decimeter lower wouldn't've been too good either.

Kei & Yuri: DAMIEN?! [rush to his side]

Damien: [smiling weakly] In the bed.

Doctor: Which is where you'll stay for some time. It'll be at least 24 hours before you can get up. You're pretty lucky.

Damien: So they tell me.

Doctor: As it is we expect you to make a full recovery.

Damien: You sound almost disappointed. So when you say I'm stuck here, is that because I won't be able to get up or you won't let me up?

Doctor: We replaced quite a bit of your intestinal tract. It'll be a while before you'll want to get up. Trust me on this one. You WILL stay in bed even if I have to sit on you.

Damien: [sly smile] Yes, ma'am. So is that meant as a threat or what?

Doctor: Do you really want to find out?

Damien: Not particularly.

Doctor: I'll check up on you later tonight. [leaves]

Kei: How do you feel?

Damien: Whaddaya mean how do I feel? I've just been shot through the stomach - excuse me, intestinal tract - undergone intensive surgery, and have enough PKs in me to stock a hypochondriac's medicine cabinent. I'd say I feel like shit except it's probably all been burned away. You'll forgive me if I'm less than cheerful.

Kei: Sheesh, what do you want, sympathy?

Yuri: What happened to all your "I'll live" crap?

Damien: That's the trouble with all that macho bullshit. It keeps coming back at you, like a boomerang.

Yuri: `Bout time you noticed.

Damien: [sighs] Thanks for the concern. I take it there isn't anyone left to question.

Kei: Us? I thought YOU were going to take care of it.

Damien: Right. Never mind. So what have you been up to since my brush with death?

Yuri: We poked around what was left of the bar, searching for clues.

Kei: Until the cops arrived. I guess they weren't too fond of us.

Damien: [muttering] I wonder why.

Yuri: Anyway, they took over the investigation. So we've just been waiting for you to wake up.

Damien: Really? Why bother? You should just get some sleep.

Kei: We were worried about you, you dolt!

Damien: What's that got to do with sleep?

Yuri: [angry] You-

[Before Yuri can continue, Damien's team bursts into the room, Robert in the lead.]

Plug: [grinning] See? I told you not to worry!

Robert: [smiling] On the verge of dying and he still snares the best!

Jerry: What's your secret, Boss?

Damien: [with a forced smile] What can I say? I'm lucky.

Kei: What the hell are you doing?!

Yuri: This is a hospital, not a locker room! Out!

Kei: Visiting hours are over!

Damien's team: Yes, ma'ams! [march out]

Damien: [wryly] I had no idea you two were nurses.

Kei: Look, just do us a favor and try not to die, okay? [leaves]

Damien: She has a funny way of showing her concern.

[Outside the door, Kei angrily wipes a hand across her eyes and storms off.]

Yuri: [snapping] Are you always like this?

Damien: Nah, most times I don't have big holes in my stomach.

Yuri: Just the one in your head, right?

Damien: You bet. It's much easier not to care that way.

Yuri: You're unbelievably annoying.

Damien: [smiling] And that's one of my good points. [Yuri starts to leave] Wait! [Yuri stops and looks over her shoulder] Uhhh... [looking nervous and embarassed] You two can stay at my place tonight, if you like. It's closer than the spaceport.

Yuri: [coolly] Thanks. [leaves]

Damien: [muttering] Well, I think I've antagonized them enough for one day. [puts his pillow over his head] I wonder if I'll suffocate?

[Yuri finds Kei in a lounge, who is angrily drinking a soda.]

Yuri: No alcohol?

Kei: Zip. So how's the incredible ingrate?

Yuri: Fine. [sits down next to her] He says we can stay at his place tonight.

Kei: As long as he doesn't hold his gratitude back. [sighing] Is it my imagination, or are all handsome men pains in the neck?

Yuri: They certainly do their best, don't they? [pause] So what do you think his problem is?

Kei: Whaddaya mean?

Yuri: Well, it's like sometimes he's a nice person, then all of the sudden he's a reak jerk. Like he's doing it deliberately.

Kei: [eyeing Yuri critically] You're not psychoanalyzing him are you? You know I hated it when you did it back in school. Especially when it was MY dates you were analyzing.

Yuri: Well, SOMEbody had to tell you what asses you were dating.

Kei: Maybe, but did it ALWAYS have to be you?

Yuri: Yeah, well it never seemed to slow you down much, did it?

Kei: I like to find things out for myself. [sips] So.

Yuri: So what?

Kei: So what are your results?

Yuri: [innocently] I thought you didn't like it when I psychoanalyze men.

Kei: [snapping] I don't! But you've got my interest piqued. So tell me.

Yuri: If you insist. I think he's afraid.

Kei: Afraid? Of what?

Yuri: You know, relationships.

Kei: How's that different from any other man?

Yuri: This is different. I mean, well... His parents died violently, for one thing. Probably lots of other people he knew. While he was a mercenary.

Kei: I didn't know he was a mercenary.

Yuri: I did. Anyway, my guess is he doesn't want to get close to anyone again, because he's afraid they'll die and leave him alone again.

Kei: [nodding] Y'know, that almost makes sense. Kinda fits in with what he told me about not having a girlfriend.

Yuri: He didn't tell me.

Kei: He told me. He says he has a hard time relating to people. Or they have a hard time relating to him. Something like that. But yeah, I guess having your family go up in smoke tends to make you a bit cynical about life.

Yuri: Y'know, I hate being attracted to men I can't stand.

Kei: Me too. [pause] So how come you got a massage and I didn't?

Yuri: Huh?!

Kei: I said-

Yuri: I heard, I heard. Probably because you didn't get whacked on the back by a mech. Why, are you complaining?

Kei: Not really.

Yuri: Sounding a bit competitive about all this, aren't you?

Kei: Whassamatter, `fraid of a rival?

Yuri: No, you just have this obnoxious tendency to swoop down on guys like a hawk before I even have a chance.

Kei: The early bird catches the worm. Besides, I think he likes you more.

Yuri: Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you.

[The Pair stare at each other for a moment, then throw up their hands in disgust.]

Kei & Yuri: Men!

[Back in his room, Damien has decided to put the pillow back under his head. He stares with unfocused eyes out the window. A gradual fade to a series of flashbacks of him and Boss begins. It starts when Boss is his commanding officer and goes backwards in time. A melange of images of activities they've done together - performing missions, training, playing games - goes by. As the flashback goes into Damien's childhood, it becomes clear that Boss was a sort of surrogate father to Damien. The last scene before fading back to the present is of the boy Damien and Boss laughing.]

Damien: [with a gravelly voice] The dead walk the earth. [laughs bitterly until he starts coughing] Whoever said laughter is the best medicine obviously was never shot in the gut.

[Cut to the terrorist's office. Boss is standing up and looking out the window, his reflection showing in the glass. His helper is standing behind him, looking puzzled while talking to Boss.]

Helper: I don't get it, Boss. Why'd you spare him?

Boss: Because, Robinson {At last! A name!}, I don't want him dead yet.

Robinson: But back in the bar-

Boss: I changed my mind. As long as Damien is alive, he will continue to report his progress, allowing us to gauge his progress. If he's dead, on the other hand, then those 3WA agents will almost certainly be given free rein and WON'T have to report their progress.

Robinson: Meaning we'd have no way of gauging how far they've gone.

Boss: Or how close they're getting. [sighs] Those two are living up to their rep. I don't want Damien killed. At least not until AFTER the Dirty Pair is dealt with.

Robinson: [pause] Um, Boss? I was wondering...do you actually know that guy, Damien? He, uh, seemed to recognize you back there.

Boss: [after a pause] Yes. Yes I do. I used to be his unofficial guardian for about ten years. Which is another reason I don't want to kill him. I'd hate to think I wasted my time all those years. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone for the moment.

Robinson: Oh. OK, Boss. [leaves]

Boss: [puts a hand on the window, leans against his arm, stares at the city lights] I'm sorry, Damien. I wish it hadn't come to this.

[Cut to outside of Boss' office, where Robinson is talking with a woman.]

Woman: So how is he?

Robinson: Distracted. I still think this Damien guy should be iced, but the Boss doesn't want us to yet. I think he's too attached to him. He used to be his guardian.

Woman: Really? Talk about amazing coincidences. But orders are orders.

Robinson: Yeah. But the Boss' ties could be a problem. He might not want to give the order to have him killed when the time comes.

Woman: [smiling slyly] Of course, an accident could happen.

Robinson: [smiling thinly] And that was a pretty nasty shot he took. Who knows? Maybe he'll die anyway.

[Cut back to Damien's room. The doctor returns. She looks around the room and nods, satisfied.]

Doctor: I thought your girlfriends would never leave.

Damien: My-? Oh. Them.

Doctor: [checking the equipment Damien is hooked up to] Yeah, they've been here since they brought you in. Started to think they'd moved in or something. Kept bugging me about your condition. I was half-tempted to let you die just to get them off my back, but they'd probably kill me if did. They were pretty distraught, actually.

Damien: I...see. [pause] Say, what time is it?

Doctor: [checking his stomach] About nine.

Damien: Nine? Shouldn't the sun be out? [winces] OW! Damn, I bet you live for that.

Doctor: One of this job's little perks. It's nine PM, not AM.

Damien: [confused] Huh? But that means-

Doctor: You've been here for about twenty hours. Hey, you're right, a decimeter lower would've been a disaster.

Damien: [incredulous] You mean those two were here all that time? Without sleeping or...or anything?

Doctor: Well, they were here when they brought you in and I operated on you, they were here when I went home last night, and they were STILL here when I came back. What are they to you, anyway? If you don't mind me asking.

Damien: [dubious, unsure himself] They're...just co-workers.

Doctor: Really? Back home we'd call them friends. [replaces the bedsheets] Well, you'll heal. I'll probably be seeing you later.

Damien: [distracted] Probably.

[The doctor leaves. Damien is lost in thought, staring out the window and his reflection.]

Damien: Twenty hours...

[Glancing around the room, he notices the bundle of his equipment sitting a chair next to his bed.]

Damien: They even brought me my stuff...

Doctor's voice: [echoing in his mind] Back home we'd call them friends.

Damien: Computer. Lights off.

[The lights turn off. Damien's silhouette is outlined against the moonlight from the window, his hands tucked thoughtfully under his neck. Cut to Damien's apartment reveals Yuri in bed in the same position Damien is, while Kei is eating cheesecake in the kitchen.]

[The next morning. Damien is in bed watching TV when Plug comes into his room, carrying a metal case.]

Plug: [cheerfully] Hey Boss, what's up?

Damien: [turning down the TV] Not me, that's for sure. Whatchya got?

Plug: [opens the case] Brought you some goodies. [removes some small discs and a remote control] Voila!

Damien: Is that what I think it is?

Plug: Yep. The discs are the hyperpulse emitters. [holding up the control] This sets them off. Put the discs in place, squeeze `em like this to activate `em, hit the button on the control, and ZAP! [hands them to Damien] I even coded it to your fingerprints, so no one else can use it.

Damien: Great! Thanks a lot, Plug.

Plug: No sweat. [looking around, smiling] So...where're your nurses?

Damien: Not here. Even angels need sleep.

Plug: I'll bet. [seriously] Benindict's gettin' pretty ansy about all this, Boss. He was practically frothing at the mouth about how this thing has escalated out of control. Especially at that bar.

Damien: And naturally he blames the Pair, right?

Plug: Weeeellll, they DO have a reputation for blowing things up, don't they? And the media is really gettin' edgy about all this too, y'know? Rumors are flying like cows, and some of them aren't too far off the mark.

Damien: He's looking for a PR scapegoat. Someone to take the fall for him.

Plug: Yeah, well, you better cover your own ass, you know what I mean? Otherwise you could go down as well. After all, their reputation can't possibly get any worse, but you could potentially be ruined.

Damien: Maybe. Maybe not. But I don't intend to let ANYONE take the fall for me. Especially not them. They've saved my life more than once. I owe them.

Plug: [eyeing him critically] Right, Boss.

Damien: [annoyed] What? Why is it every time I get involved with beautiful women, you guys always assume I have ulterior motives?

Plug: Guess it's our suspicious nature. Or maybe it's because you're a guy.

Damien: Thanks a lot, pal. Not all of us are lust-puppies.

Plug: [grinning] Let's just say we think that kind of willpower is inhuman and leave it at that, okay?

Damien: [muttering] A self-perpetuating system. Greaaaat.

Plug: Cheer up! We all envy you, even though you're probably going to die! Anyways, I gotta go to work. Try not to get caught lying on the job, OK?

Damien: I'll do my best. See ya.

[Plug leaves. Damien examines the discs and the control for a while, then puts them back in the case and sets it aside on his nightstand. Throwing his sheets off, he tries slowly to sit up, then to stand, bracing himself against the bed. Beads of sweat trickle down his face.]

Damien: [muttering] Why the hell do they use backless gowns, anyway?

[He clutches his stomach, his face grim with pain. He finally stands up with his back to the door as the Pair enter.]

Kei: [grinning] Nice. No bruises either.

[Damien is so startled he nearly loses his balance. The Pair catch him, one on either side.]

Yuri: Should you be getting out of bed already?

Damien: [weakly] Probably not. But there are a lot of things I shouldn't do. Hasn't stopped me from doing them yet. [sits down on the bed with the Pair's help] I tend to like to prove that people's assumptions about me are wrong.

Kei: Why? [sits next to him]

Damien: Because I'm stupid as a post, of course.

Kei: A what?

Damien: You had a sheltered childhood, didn't you?

Yuri: [smiling] Not a chance. [sits down on other side of him]

Damien: Yeah, well, anyways, I, uh, wanted to thank you. For saving my life and all that.

Kei: [slightly annoyed] You're welcome.

Yuri: Took your time, didn't you?

Damien: Look, dammit, I'm trying to say I appreciate your concern, and the fact you stuck around all night, and - well - and the fact that you care, alright!

Kei: You have a damn funny way of showing it!

Damien: [takes a deep breath, trying to calm down] I admit I'm not very good about showing my feelings, and I'm sorry, but I didn't do it to piss you off deliberately, OK?

Yuri: Are you sure?

Damien: [shouting] Yes, I'm sure! [grimaces, rubs his stomach] This was the first time anyone's hung around for a whole day waiting for me like that. I'm not used to it. Having people around me who care that much.

Kei: [surprised] Really? What about your teammates?

Damien: You learn pretty quickly not to care too much for the people you work with in my profession. Doesn't keep you up nights as much when they get killed.

Yuri: Oh.

Damien: Look, I'd rather not go into details right now. The point is, it's a new experience for me, okay? [an uncomfortable silence] Oh, I forgot to give you two something last night.

Kei: [smiling] What, a kiss?

Damien: `Fraid not. [fishs through the pile of his equipment] Ah, here it is! [pulls out a small device] I planted a tracer on their hovercar the other night. Here's the tracker. Should lead you right to them.

Kei: Won't they find the tracer's signal? Assuming they have any sort of security scanners, that is.

Damien: Doubtful. It uses an EM field similar to that generated by ordinary electrical equipment. Most sensors think it's ordinary interference and pass it by, but it's a very specific pattern that the tracker knows to find.

Yuri: Hmmm. I could probably plug this into the Lovely Angel's sensor array, boost the range, make it easier to find them.

Kei: But what if they're in this Feld Desert? Won't that screw up the signal?

Damien: Then I guess we'll have confirmed that their base is there. But I think they have one in Vanaheim City somewhere too. Which is probably where they went. It means our leads haven't all dried up. I'd...appreciate it if you'd check it out for me.

Yuri: Why not have your men look into it?

Damien: Because I think you may be better able to deal with the Disciples. [smiles] Besides, you've come this far, do you really want to stop?

Kei: No way! [excitedly] C'mon, Yuri, let's get on it now and let Mr. Hero here get his rest.

Yuri: OK! Bye, Damien!

Kei: Catch ya later!

[The Pair get up and kiss Damien on his cheeks. He waves goodbye, startled, as they leave. Still stunned, he lies down.]

Damien: Good luck.

SCENE 9

[Nightime. The Pair are stationed on a rooftop, watching a nearby warehouse. Nearby, half-suits of powered armor (like the ones in Project Eden) await. {Anyone who has to ask why the Pair wear only half-suits instead of full body suits is obviously in the wrong genre.} Yuri is looking through a pair of binoculars while Kei lounges around.]

Yuri: This is SUPPOSED to be the place. At least according to Damien's tracker.

Kei: [toying with her gun] Uh-huh.

Yuri: But I don't SEE anyone doing anything.

Kei: [idly flipping a knife] Uh-huh.

Yuri: There should at least be a few lights on or something.

Kei: [performing prestidigitation] Uh-huh.

Yuri: Got power emanations, though, so something must be happening.

Kei: [looking bored] Uh-huh. So are we gonna do something, or what? This surveillance garbage really sucks.

Yuri: Kei, I know I haven't talked with you about patience lately, but- Hey! Might have something.

Kei: [perks up] Oh? Like what?

Yuri: Car pulled up. A very NICE limo. Just went in through the doors.

Kei: Something going on?

Yuri: That'd be my guess. I think it's time to suit up.

Kei: [smiling] Finally!

[Cut to inside the warehouse. Robinson is observing from an office window that looks out into the warehouse and notices the limo coming in. Boss is behind him, writing a note with a pen.]

Robinson: He's here, Boss.

Boss: [looking up] Good.

[Boss puts down the pen, puts the paper in a box along with some odds and ends, and closes it. The box locks automatically with a click.]

Robinson: [looking at the box] What were you working on, Boss?

Boss: Nothing...important. Is everything ready?

Robinson: Yep. But how did you know about that-

Boss: I know most of the tricks of the trade. C'mon, let's go meet our guest.

[Cut to Damien's hospital. An orderly is pushing a medicine cart around, stopping periodically and going into people's rooms. Eventually he enters Damien's room, carrying a large syringe. Damien is in bed, apparently asleep. The orderly approaches with slow menace, his silhouette growing larger as he gets closer. He pushes the sheets aside slightly, exposing Damien's arm. The orderly pulls back on the syringe's plunger, filling it with air. Just as he moves to stick it in his arm, Damien's arm shoots out and grabs the orderly's wrist, twisting it until he drops the syringe on the bed. His other arm emerges from the sheets, revealing his gun, which he levels at the orderly. Damien opens his eyes and turns to look at the startled would-be assassin.]

Damien: Air in my veins? A bit crude isn't it?

Orderly: [smiling thinly] Whatever does the job.

Damien: [smiling grimly] Funny, I was going to say the same thing.

Orderly: Ow! What the-?!

[Damien lets go of the orderly's wrist and reveals a small plastic triangle that he had concealed in his hand.]

Orderly: Oh no...

Damien: Oh yes. I suggest you sit down. Before you fall down.

[The orderly obligingly, if somewhat shakily, sits in a chair. Damien raises the back of his bed, his gun still leveled at the orderly.]

Damien: Now then, let's talk, shall we?

[Cut back to the warehouse. Boss and Robinson are decending a metal staircase as a grey-haired man in a suit steps out of the limo.]

Boss: Good evening, Mr. Drebbin.

Drebbin: Good evening, Boss. I trust everything is going well?

[At this point the Pair make their entrance. Kei comes through the front door (or at least where the door used to be before she blew it away), while Yuri jumps spectacularly through the roof. Both are carrying shoulder mounted plasma cannons, hand-held automatics, and really neat helmets, all painted some appropriately spiffy color. The Disciples are caught off-guard, Drebbin is stunned, while Boss is bemused.]

Boss: [wryly] Not quite, Mr. Drebbin. [pulls out a handgun]

[Cut back to Damien, who is getting dressed slowly in his clothes. The TV is on during a late night newscast. The orderly is still in the chair, either dead or unconscious.]

Anchor: -Internal Security has denied that the 3WA was involved in the destruction of a local bar two nights ago-

[The doctor enters and stops in the doorway, shocked, taking in the orderly and Damien.]

Anchor: -but eyewitness reports indicate that the infamous Dirty Pair may be involved-

Damien: Good evening, Doctor.

Doctor: [in a state of shock and speaking slowly] What is going on here?

Anchor: -Prime Minister candidate Frank Drebbin has again castigated the current administration's inability-

Damien: What does it look like? I'm leaving.

Doctor: [flustered] But...what about...[points to the orderly]

Damien: [shrugs] Oh him. He tried to kill me, but evidently the strain of murder was too much.

Doctor: He...WHAT?!?

Anchor: -to deal with the recent terrorist activities, including-

Damien: [holds up the syringe] Unless you've added air to my IV list, that is.

Doctor: But...why?!

Anchor: -the attack on the Department of Internal Security's own headquarters earlier this week-

Damien: Because I slept with his wife. Or was it because I killed his brother? Or maybe-

Doctor: [snapping] I'm serious! Why?!

Anchor: -"The government has proven itself incompetent time and again-

Damien: [putting on his gunbelt] Because someone wants me dead and evidently didn't care how it happened, so long as it was soon.

Doctor: Oh. So where are you going?

Anchor: -at dealing with these terrorists," said Drebbin.

Damien: Out. My friends are in trouble.

Doctor: You mean the Dirty Pair, don't you?

Anchor: "Although they have made no demands nor sought publicity-

Doctor: [laughing at Damien's startled look] You don't need to look so surprised. I know a 3WA trouble consultant when I see one in uniform. And those two are pretty...distinctive.

Damien: [smiling] They are special, aren't they?

Anchor: -the terrorists known as the Disciples of Cerberus-

Damien: [looks toward the TV, frowning] Hmm?

Anchor: -are a definite threat to the well-being and safety of the people of Vanaheim-

Doctor: What's wrong? It's just-

Damien: Quiet! Please.

Anchor: -a threat I intend to deal with," Drebbin concluded. Polls show Drebbin with a clear lead over current Prime Minister Nelson. Elections will be held tomorrow-

Damien: [lighting up in understanding] That's it!

Doctor: What's it?

Damien: That has to be it! Oh, those sly bastards!

Doctor: I can't let you leave, Damien, I think you're delirious.

[Ignoring the doctor's words, Damien picks her up and twirls her around the room, laughing gleefully.]

Damien: I got it I got it I GOT IT!!

Doctor: [startled] Damien, please! Put me-mmmph!

[The doctor's protests are cut off as Damien impulsively kisses her. He sets her down in a state of befuddlement and picks up the metal case and his jacket.]

Damien: [smiling and waving] See ya, Doc! [goes out the door]

Doctor: [confused] Yeah...see ya... [regains her senses] Wait, come back! [runs after Damien]

[Cut back to the warehouse, where a fierce firefight is ensuing between the Pair and the Disciples. The original shock has worn off, as apparently they were expected. Kei blows up a walkway with a plasma shot, tumbling several men to the floor. Yuri cuts a cable, dropping a large crate on a mech. The Pair regroup momentarily behind cover.]

Yuri: So much for the element of surprise.

Kei: I'm really starting to get pissed off by these traps!

Yuri: I'm sure they're shaking at the mere thought.

[Their cover is blown up and the Pair take off, flitting about the warehouse, strafing men and machines. Drebbin has crawled into his limo.]

Drebbin: [to his driver] Get us out of here!

[The limo barrels out of the warehouse. Boss and Robinson have taken cover. Boss is carrying the box from his office.]

Robinson: Tough bitches, huh, Boss?

Boss: I agree. Looks like this is a lost cause. Time to pull out. Permenantly.

Robinson: [gravely] Yes, Boss. [into communicator] Immediate evac, now! [to Boss] Should I-?

[Boss nods. Robinson runs off. The Pair have managed to turn the tide, but are having difficulties with a trio of fast, flying mechs.]

Kei: Shit! Die, you stupid bastards!

Yuri: This is not working out!

[Yuri's armor suit is hit, destroying the engines. She drops out of the suit in midair, landing hard on top of a crate as the destroyed suit crashes into the ground.]

Yuri: [grimacing] Ow! My ankle!

Kei: Hold on, Yuri, I'm coming!

[Kei catches one of the mechs with a plasma blast and sends it plummeting into the ground. The other two gang up on Kei. Kei destroys another one at the same time the last one destroys her armor suit. She drops down next to Yuri, who is holding off a group of terrorists with her pistol.]

Yuri: [sarcastically] My hero.

Kei: Screw you too! [notices Yuri drawing the Bloody Card] Aw, no, not again...

Yuri: [offended] Hey it's worked so far!

Kei: Isn't there something about not tempting fate, or pushing your luck, in your ideology?

[Yuri ignores her and hurls the Card. This time it misses everyone completely. It loops around, comes back, and hits the remaining flying mech, knocking out its engine. The mech starts falling.]

Yuri: See? Not a complete waste.

Kei: Yeah yeah, but you know what they say-

[The Pair suddenly notice that the mech is falling straight towards them.]

Kei & Yuri: OH SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!

[The Pair dive off the crate just as the mech smashes into it.]

Kei: Next time why don't you just shoot me, Yuri?! It's much quicker!

Yuri: Go away, Kei. [examines her ankle] I think I sprained it.

[The Pair and the remaining terrorists resume exchanging fire.]

Kei: This could be a problem.

Yuri: No kidding.

[Cut to Boss and Robinson, who are climbing into their aircar.]

Boss: All set?

Robinson: [nodding] And ready to blow.

Boss: Good. Time for everyone to pull back.

[Cut back to the Pair. The firefight is gradually dimishing as the Disciples leave. The Pair see their aircars leave.]

Kei: Great. Kinda anti-climactic, huh?

Yuri: Yeah. [looking up] Hey, isn't that-?

[Damien's car smashes through the roof, knocking glass and metal everywhere. He lowers a rope ladder out of the side of his car to the floor.]

Damien: [through speakers] Hurry up and climb!

Kei: Damien?! What's the rush? Yuri-

Damien: Don't argue, just do it!

Kei: [grumbling] C'mon Yuri. [helps her stand]

[Kei and Yuri grab hold of the ladder and climb up. As soon as they have piled into the car (Yuri next to Damien this time, Kei sitting at the window), Damien retracts the ladder and leaves quickly through the roof. He accelerates rapidly away.]

Yuri: [complaining] What the hell was that all-

[The warehouse, predictably, blows up spectacularly, taking much of the surrounding neighborhood.]

Yuri: Oh. Never mind.

Kei: What are you doing out of the hospital?

Damien: Saving your lives, what else? [smiling] I can't let you two go anywhere alone.

Kei: [sweetly] Our hero.

Damien: [smiling wanly] You know it.

Yuri: [concerned] Are you okay, Damien? You look...

Damien: Pale, sweaty, weak, in pain? Very perceptive of you.

Kei: But how did you know where we were? And how did you know what would happen? And-?

Damien: I knew where you were by following the tracer; I have another tracker. I knew you were in trouble because someone tried to assassinate me in the hospital.

Yuri: Really?!

Damien: Um hmm. He was pretty willing to talk after he failed. Told me all sorts of neat things, like how there was supposed to be a trap set up for you. Too bad the effort killed him.

Kei & Yuri: You mean-?

Damien: Yup. Another programmed Disciple. As for knowing the warehouse would blow up...that's because I'm familiar with the leader's tactics.

Kei: Really? How come?

Damien: Simple. He used to be my friend.

Kei & Yuri: WHAT!?!

Damien: Of course, he also used to be dead. Guess time can do a lot to a man.

SCENE 10

[Damien's apartment. Damien is lying down on a couch. Yuri is sitting in a chair while Kei is pacing around the couch.]

Kei: OK, so you told us how you know this Boss fellow, but you still haven't said why you thought he was dead.

Damien: His team went out on a recon mission. No one ever came back. End of Boss. Or at least I thought it was.

Yuri: Was he just a friend, or...?

Damien: I suppose he was more of a father-figure for me, as well as a big brother and grandfather, all rolled in one. I felt closer to him than my real father in a lot of ways.

Kei: So how come he's still breathing?

Damien: I don't know. His was the last mission before our team was wiped out. He was scouting out the area where we were ambushed. Maybe...maybe that's somewhere near where the Disciples' base is, and they captured him. Maybe he's a traitor. How the hell should I know?

Yuri: Hey, calm down Damien, it's not all bad, is it?

Kei: Yeah, now we know where they probably are, right?

Damien: [closing his eyes] I suppose. It's just...I'm not used to confronting ghosts. At least not when I'm awake.

[An uncomfortable silence follows. The Pair look at each other, then at Damien. Finally Yuri stands up.]

Yuri: I need a shower. [leaves]

Damien: [smiling] How did I know she was going to say that?

Kei: You must be psychic. [sits down in front of the couch on the floor] Would you mind giving me a massage? That suit always chafes my shoulders.

Damien: [sitting up] Why not? [massages Kei's shoulders] How's that?

Kei: Great. Thanks. So what now?

Damien: Well, we proceed down your back-

Kei: I'm serious!

Damien: So was I. [innocently] Oh, you mean the case! Well, it looks like the Feld Desert's our last possible clue.

Kei: Does it bother you? About...

Damien: You mean finding out an old mercenary buddy has not only cheated death but has become a political terrorist? What makes you think it might trouble me?

Kei: Look, I'm trying to be sympathic, you idiot, so stop taking it so personally! This isn't my forte, alright?!

Damien: [sighing] I'm sorry. Yes, it bothers me. A hell of a lot. I don't know how he survived, I don't know why he's doing this, and I don't know...I don't know if he knows anything about my father's death. [smiling] And I thought dealing with you two would be the worst of my interpersonal problems on this case.

Kei: [archly] What's that supposed to mean?

Damien: Because I'm not very good at working with women, particularly beautiful ones. It's even worse when I like them.

Kei: I thought you were some kind of stoic. What are you, a chauvinist?

Damien: Neither. I like to think I can put a fortress around my heart, that I can harden my feelings and be impervious to emotional pain. But I can't. No one can and still call themselves human. Do you know how badly it sucks to care anytime someone dies from a Disciples attack? And these are total strangers. It's much worse when it's someone you work with. Or someone you like. [pause] Or someone you love.

Kei: [leaning against Damien's leg] So where do we fall?

Damien: Definitely the first and second.

Kei: [innocently] Why not the third?

Damien: [stops the massage and turns Kei's head to look at him] Look, Kei, I do like both of you, and I somehow doubt I'd forgive myself if I let you get killed. Particularly since you're practically unkillable. But I don't like one-night stands and I don't really believe in love at first sight. Lust, maybe, but not love. In a couple of days this case will be finished one way or the other and you'll be gone, probably forever. And I don't really want a long-distance romance. So do you mind if we keep this on a friend-friend kind of basis?

Kei: Wow. I had no idea guys like you existed. I thought all males were slaves to their lusts.

Damien: [smiling] We are. Some just have kinder masters than others. And one or two of us rebel every once in a while. So...do you mind?

Kei: If that's what you want. But that attitude's a real party-pooper at times, isn't it?

Damien: I've learned to deal with it. [smiles] I nearly forgot. [kisses Kei gently] For saving my life.

Kei: [kisses Damien more passionately] For saving mine.

Damien: Y'know, I'm really reconsidering my attitude right now.

Kei: [encircles his neck with one arm] Do tell.

[Kei and Damien are moving to kiss again when Yuri walks in. The two abruptly disengage, pretending nothing happened. Yuri says nothing.]

Yuri: Your turn, Kei.

Kei: Right. Thanks Yuri. [leaves]

[Damien smiles nervously at Yuri, who ignores him and leaves another way. He watches her go then flops backwards on the sofa, spreading his arms.]

Damien: [muttering] Great. [rubs his face with one hand] Why me? [stands up] Time to exercise my persuasion abilities.

[Yuri is using the holographic trainer, angrily mowing down targets with a pistol. Damien watches, not sure he wants to confront her right now.]

Damien: [thinking] Oh well, you only die once. [out loud, with a bad Southern drawl] Nice shootin', Tex.

Yuri: [turning around] Huh?

Damien: Never mind. Another archaic expression. You did rather well. Although it kinda defeated the purpose of the shower you just took.

Yuri: Then I'll take another.

Damien: [pretending to inspect her score] Are you always this good, or only when you're mad?

Yuri: Mad? What makes you think I'm mad?

Damien: I dunno, maybe it's the way you tore into those targets as if they'd killed your father, raped your mother, sold your sister into slavery, and spit on your ancestors' graves, not to mention had a lousy fashion sense. [Yuri turns away] C'mon, seriously, Yuri. You're upset about what happened between Kei and I.

Yuri: [whirls around, pointing an accusing finger] Gee, now why would I be upset with Mr. Has-A-Hard-Time-Expressing-His-Feelings? Could it be because I was starting to feel sorry for you? Could it be because I feel like it was all a sham and you're really an asshole at heart? Could it be because- [stops and turns around]

Damien: You like me? I'm flattered. [puts a hand on Yuri's shoulder] Look, I meant what I said before. I didn't intend what just happened. I'm not real sure I wanted it to-

Yuri: Oh shut up! [grabs his arm and flips him on his back]

Damien: Not bad. [kicks Yuri's legs out from under her] Now we're both on the floor. [jumps up into a combat stance]

Yuri: [stands up] You miserable-

[Yuri and Damien start sparring. Damien manages to hold his own, but his wounds catch up with him as Yuri kicks him in the stomach. He doubles over and drops to his knees, clutching his gut and coughing.]

Yuri: Oh god, are you alright, Damien?!

Damien: [smiling weakly] Not really. You know, considering how much trouble you went through to save my life, you sure are eager to kill me.

Yuri: I'm sorry, it's just...I don't know.

Damien: You can't tell if I'm sincere or if I'm just faking it.

Yuri: Yeah, something like that.

[The two look at one another for a while, then Damien kisses Yuri gently the same way he kissed Kei.]

Damien: For saving my life. Let it not be said I don't reward my saviors. [grimacing] Although at the moment I'm not sure what to do to you for slamming me like that.

[Yuri helps Damien stand up and walk back to the couch. Damien drops down on the couch. Yuri, caught off-balance, lands on top of him. They stare at each other for a moment then move to kiss when Kei comes in. Yuri slides off of Damien quickly and they pretend nothing happened. Kei says nothing.]

Kei: All done.

Damien: Indeed. [standing up] If you don't mind, I'm going to bed.

Kei: [winking] Want some company?

Damien: Ah, no thanks, I'll, uh, be fine by myself. [hurriedly exits the room]

Kei: [sighs to herself] Oh well. [to Yuri] So how far did you get?

Yuri: [startled] Huh?! I...we...that is...

Kei: I saw you two together on the couch. And I know you saw us. So there's no point for either of us to pretend nothing happened.

Yuri: Oh.

[The Pair sit down on opposite ends of the couch, eyeing each other almost suspiciously.]

Yuri: [sighing] Kei, I don't really want to get in a fight over him.

Kei: Me neither. As he pointed out, we'll probably be leaving in a few days and never see him again. No point in getting too worked up.

Yuri: [smiling wryly] Are you feeling alright, Kei? That doesn't sound like you at all.

Kei: [annoyed] Are you complaining? You said you didn't want to make a big deal about him, so okay, we won't make a big deal.

Yuri: It's just that you don't usually give up like that.

Kei: [smiling] Who's giving up? I said I wouldn't fight you, I didn't say I'd given up on him.

Yuri: That's more like the Kei I know! May the best woman win, then.

[Damien is in bed, staring at the ceiling, brooding.]

Damien: [muttering] Hell spittle.

[The next morning. Damien is stumbling around, topless and wet-haired, looking at a newspaper. Snorting, he tosses it aside.]

Damien: I'd hate to think how bad this is going to be if the media confirms the Lovely Angels' presence.

Yuri: [enters] What about us?

Damien: The news about the warehouse explosion last night. Naturally, they blame you and Kei. Even though they don't know for sure you're here.

Kei: [enters] That really bites.

Damien: Is it always like this?

Yuri: HA! This is nothing compared to when they actually think it's our fault. These are just idle rumors for now.

Kei: [eyeing Damien] How's your stomach?

Damien: Sore. I'll live. Although unpleasantly for a while.

[Yuri blushes slightly but says nothing. Damien smiles faintly.]

Kei: So what do we do today, Damien?

Damien: Go to the Feld Desert, I guess. Nothing else left. [muttering] I wonder what they're going to do?

Yuri: What?

Damien: Planetary elections are today. I'm wondering if the Disciples have anything special planned.

Kei: [grinning diabolically] Well, we'll just have to make sure they don't, right?

Damien: Yeah. [thinking] Going to have to nail him later. Both of them.

HAL: Damien, a package has just arrived for you.

Damien: From who?

HAL: Unknown. Anonymous courier. I have already scanned it. No danger.

Damien: See if you can track down who it's from. What is it?

[A robot whizzes up, carrying the box Boss had last night.]

HAL: It's locked. Thumbprint signature. Calibrated to yours, though, I believe. I could force it open, if you wish, but-

Damien: Nah, I'll do it.

[Damien puts his thumb on an oval sensor. With a beep the lid opens.]

Yuri: [curiously] What's in it?

Damien: A note. [reads aloud] "Damien -Thought you might want this. -Bo-" [stops, pale and trembling, whispers] "Boss."

Kei: There's something else.

[Shaking, Damien puts down the note and removes a small holographic projector/recorder. It has a crossed-swords emblem on it similar to the one Damien's team uses.]

Damien: [hoarsely] Oh my god.

Kei: Hey, that's your emblem isn't it?

Yuri: Isn't that a holo-log of some sort?

Damien: [quietly] It's my father's.

Kei & Yuri: Your father's?!

Damien: I...I use the same emblem for my team that he used for our mercenary unit. I assumed this was destroyed when he was killed. [puts the holo-log down on a table] How did Boss get it? [sits down] How?

[Damien searches the empty box, agitated. Frustrated, he hurls it across the room, smashing something. The Pair, startled, say nothing.]

Damien: [howling in rage] God dammit, HOW?!

[Damien slams his fist against the tabletop, making the holo-log jump. He slumps forward, his chin propped up in one hand while the other hand clenches tightly, shaking, staring at the holo-log.]

Damien: [softly] How...

SCENE 11

[Damien is sitting in a darkened room at a desk. A red beam of light emanates from his father's holo-log in front of him, scanning his eyes. The beam completes its scan and the scanner retracts back into the log.]

Holo-log: [computerized voice] Retinal scan complete. ID confirmed. Full access approved.

Damien: [blinking and rubbing his eyes] Great.

Holo-log: Do you wish to view captain's final personal message for you?

Damien: [surprised] Huh?!

Holo-log: Repeat: do you wish to view captain's final personal message for you?

Damien: Uh, yes. [thinking] A personal message? For me?

Holo-log: Final personal message playing.

[A holographic, life-size bust of Damien's father appears above the holo-log. Damien flinches reflexively. His father's face is bruised, with one eye swollen shut, and blood flows from his mouth, nose, and a gash in his forehead. His father's words are hoarse and pained, evidence that he is dying.]

Damien: [whispering] Dad...

Damien's father: Hello, Damien. I don't know if you'll ever get to see this, or if I'll live long enough to finish, or even if this damn thing is recording properly. But at the moment, I have nothing better to do while dying, so I figure what the hell, take care of a few things.

[Damien's father starts coughing. Instinctively Damien moves to help, then stops himself, and sits back, a helpless expression on his face.]

Damien's father: This mission was a trap. And I fell for it. Or rather it fell on me. Avalanche has buried me but good. All sensors out, nothing but static on the radio, and the cockpit's wedged shut. If I don't bleed to death first, I'll probably suffocate. [trying to smile] Kind of an ironic end for me, don't you think? I just wish the others didn't have to die with me. I hope you're safe, Damien. And happy. And enjoying your inheritance. Considering what a shitty father I was, it's the least I could do. [smiles thinly] Hey, I just realized, I forgot my gun. Must be why I lost.

[Unseen, Yuri enters the room. She stops behind Damien's chair, watching.]

Damien's father: I'm rambling. Shock, maybe. Doesn't matter. Do you remember your mother? She always said I'd die first. Said I was too reckless. [closes his eyes] There are times...there are times I wish she'd been right. [reopens his eyes] Do you remember the day she died? Maybe not; you were only six. I do. Clear as day. But what I really remember was what you said when I told you. You said - [chokes up] - said, "Mommy's dead, and it's Daddy's fault."

[Both Damien and his father have started crying and ironically wipe away their tears at the same time, although his father smears blood on his face.]

Damien's father: [muttering to himself] No, God dammit, I'm not going to break down. [sniffing] For a long time, I hated you for saying that. Hated you for blaming me. Hated you for...for the truth. Mommy died, and it was my fault. [pauses to close his eyes briefly]

Damien: No. No, it wasn't your fault. It wasn't. There wasn't anything you could have done. I know that now. Don't blame yourself. [hoarsely] Dammit, don't do this to yourself, you stupid-!

Damien's father: [takes a deep breath to regain his composure] `Course, you hate me, so that sorta balances it out. Except you have a good reason for hating me, whereas I...I just didn't want to face you. `Cause every time I saw you, I saw your mother, and I saw what I'd lost, and I saw what I'd done wrong. So I pushed you away. Stopped treating you like my son so I wouldn't have to face reality. Face my mistakes. Pretty stupid of me, huh? And now...now I wait until I'm buried alive and dying to tell what I should have to you a long time ago.

[Damien looks away for a moment, wiping his eyes again, then looks back almost involuntarily.]

Damien's father: I'm sorry. Sorry I screwed up your childhood. Sorry I was never a father for you. Sorry I lost your mother. Sorry for dragging you all over the galaxy with me. Sorry...sorry for everything I've done to screw up your life. [starts crying] Oh God, you're probably never going to here this, and never... [blinks and regains control of himself] I'm proud of you, Damien. I always have been. And I always will. You're a far better son than I ever deserved. Just like your mother was a far better wife than I ever deserved. So maybe now I'm finally getting what I deserve. [coughs again] Not much longer. I don't want you to see me die, Damien. I wonder if I'll see your mother again? Guess I'll find out soon. But I better not see you for a while, know what I mean? Goodbye, Damien. I...I love you.

[The hologram vanishes, leaving Damien with his tears. Yuri, biting her lip, averts her face for a moment.]

Holo-log: End of personal message.

Yuri: [softly] Damien? Are you alright?

Damien: [taking a deep breath] Yeah, I'm fi...I'm... [slowly turns his chair to face Yuri, rubbing his eyes] Oh God, Yuri. My father. He...he...

Yuri: [kneeling at his side and holding his hand] I know. I heard.

Damien: No, you don't understand! He...he died, thinking I hated him! Thinking I blamed him for my mother's death! Thinking...Oh bloody hell, I hate it when I break down like this. [sniffing] So much for the macho image.

Yuri: [smiling faintly] Don't worry about it. I hear vulnerability in men is back in vogue these days.

[Damien chuckles then starts laughing loudly for no apparent reason. He suddenly stops, holding his head with his free hand.]

Damien: [whispering] Oh god Dad, I'm sorry...I didn't mean...I didn't...I...[trails off]

[Yuri hugs Damien, who holds on to her like a drowning man. Kei passes by and notices what's happening, but says nothing. She stares at them for a while then slips away quietly. The two finally disengage.]

Yuri: Feeling better?

Damien: Some. [smiles wryly] This wouldn't be nearly so difficult if I didn't love that miserable bastard.

Yuri: You'll feel better eventually. It's a cliche, but time heals all wounds, y'know.

Damien: Yeah. Except the ones that kill you. [pause] Listen, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but...do you mind if I were alone for a while? I...I'd like to think some things out by myself.

Yuri: Sure. [gets up] No problem.

Damien: Thanks. For everything.

Yuri: [smiling] What are friends for?

[Yuri leaves, heading in the same direction Kei went. Damien turns around and stares at the holo-log for a moment, then puts his finger on an oval sensor.]

Damien: [to holo-log] Access listing of log entries.

[Kei is on the couch watching TV. Yuri enters.]

Kei: Congratulations. When's the wedding?

Yuri: Huh?! Oh. Look, Kei, it wasn't like that.

Kei: Really? You mean he gives out hugs for free? Where do I sign up?

Yuri: [annoyed] All he wanted was someone to comfort him. I happened to be there.

Kei: What an amazing coincidence. Synchronicity at its finest.

Yuri: Look, Kei, would you cut the sarcasm? He just had a couple of nasty jolts from his dad's log and he's reeling.

Kei: Convenient you were there to catch him then.

Yuri: Are you trying to imply something, Kei? Like maybe that I'm lying?

Kei: Good heavens, how could I possibly misinterpret that touching little scene in there?

Damien: [from the hallway] I dunno, you tell me. [enters room]

Kei: If it isn't our tortured friend in the flesh.

Damien: Is something bothering you? Yuri's telling the truth.

Kei: What happened to just being friends?

Damien: And we were. I was hurting, she healed. Nice symmetry.

Kei: Oh really?

Damien: [sighing] Kei, does physical contact HAVE to mean something more than friendship?

Kei: Pretty strong friendship, wouldn't y-

[Damien cuts Kei off by kissing her passionately, clearly startling her.]

Damien: [smirking] Chew on that one. [leaves]

Yuri: [mimicing Kei's earlier tone] Congratulations. When's the wedding?

Kei: Uhhh...[looking embarassed] Sorry. I guess I was wrong. [looking in Damien's direction] I'm either going to have to kill him or fall in love with him.

Yuri: Is there a difference?

Kei: Not at the moment, no.

[Damien is sitting alone in another room, slowly but surely getting drunk. A dusty bottle sits on the table next to him, a glass of amber liquid sits in his hand. In his other hand is the holo-cube of his mercenary unit. He stares at it, sipping occasionally. Kei enters wordlessly behind him.]

Damien: Have a seat.

[Kei, startled he knew she was there, sits down across from him. She fidgets uncomfortably before saying anything.]

Kei: Ummm...Yuri told me...about the holo-log and all. I'm...sorry. About the way I reacted. I was just...uh...just...

Damien: [smiling thinly] Jealous? Felt betrayed? Thought I'd lied about how I felt last night?

Kei: [averting her gaze] Something like that.

Damien: Ferget it. [pours another glass and hands it to Kei] Here. I've been saving it for a special occasion, and I see no reason not to consider this a special occasion.

Kei: Thanks. But do you really want to-

Damien: Get plastered? Don't worry. Alcohol either makes me morbidly depressed or disgustingly happy. Sometimes both at the same time. But it usually doesn't affect my reflexes.

Kei: [sips and looks surprised] Wow, this is-

Damien: Quite rare and embarassingly old, not to mention extraordinarily potent. It was my father's. Something he wanted to save until just the right moment. But what the hell, he's dead and this is sort of a late funeral wake. The moment can't get any righter, in my opinion.

Kei: [pointing at the holo-cube] What's that?

Damien: [tossing the cube at Kei] My old mercenary unit.

Kei: [looks at the cube] Hey, is this your dad? He looks alot like you! I mean, his hair's shorter and greyer and you don't have a beard, but other than that...

Damien: [nods] Yep, that's him.

Kei: And the guy next to him, that's Boss, right?

Damien: Right again.

Kei: Why do you call him Boss?

Damien: It's what everyone called him. He was Dad's second-in-command, but he didn't like it when people called him sir. Somewhere along the way they started calling him Boss and it stuck.

Kei: Who's the woman next to your dad?

Damien: My mother.

Kei: Oh.

Damien: It's an old picture, taken before she was killed. Naturally.

Kei: How did she die?

Damien: I don't remember for sure. She and my father went out on some mission together. There was...an ambush or something I think. At the time I blamed my father for not being able to save her.

Kei: Do you still?

Damien: Nah. I realized a long time ago. It's a dangerous profession. There are no guarantees. The person you talked to last night might be killed today. But it never occured to me to tell him I'd forgiven him. He always came off as hard and unemotional. I guess I thought he didn't care anymore. [sips] Guess I was wrong.

Kei: Does it bother you?

Damien: Yeah, I guess. It's just...I owe him alot, for one thing. My CIS was a real handicap at times. Not being able to have a plug. But my father never complained about the mods that had to be made on all my equipment. He even made HAL to be a helper for me, a crutch I guess, because I can't use regular computers. I guess he couldn't - wouldn't - provide emotional support directly, so he compensated with material support. [drains glass] Anyways, he's still my father, y'know? His dying thoughts were about me. And one of them was that I still hated him. [refills glass] I hate hindsight.

Kei: [putting down the holo-cube] I sorta know what you mean. I never really got along with my parents. They didn't think much of my wildness, I didn't think much of their haughtiness. They wanted me to be more proper, I just wanted them off my back. We used to get into a lot of arguments. I haven't talked to them in...years, I guess.

Damien: Do you miss them any?

Kei: I guess so. It's like, besides Yuri and Mughi, I don't really have anyone to fall back on for anything. They're great, but every once in a while...I wish I could count on my parents if I really needed them. [smiles wryly] But I guess I haven't really done anything lately to earn their approval, huh?

Damien: [smiles] What, don't you think they approve of you being a 3WA trouble consultant?

Kei: [chuckles] Are you kidding? My father would blowing his arteries if he ever saw me in uniform!

Damien: [laughing] But what about your media exposure? You're famous!

[Kei and Damien are laughing insanely for no apparent reason. Yuri is watching from the doorway, a mock-critical expression on her face.]

Yuri: You two better calm down or you're going to explode.

[Kei and Damien just start laughing harder. Yuri smiles and comes in, sitting down in another chair.]

Damien: [smiling and wiping his tears away] Where are my manners? [pours a glass for Yuri] Here you go.

Yuri: [surprised] Isn't this-?

Kei: Yeah, so you better enjoy it.

[The trio sit in silence, sipping quietly.]

Yuri: So how are you, Damien?

Damien: I'm dealing with it. [sips] So what do we do now?

Yuri: Should we go to the Feld?

Kei: Sure, why not? Nothing better to do.

Damien: What the hell. I always wanted to die drunk.

SCENE 12

[Damien's red aircar is flying low over the Feld Desert, kicking up clouds of reddish-brown dust. Damien is driving, wearing his regular uniform and glasses. Kei and Yuri are also in uniform and are fidgeting with their weapons.]

Yuri: So what's the plan, Damien?

Damien: [smiles innocently] Me? I thought YOU were going to come up with a plan!

Yuri: ARGH! You mean you haven't got any ideas at all?!

Damien: I didn't say that. I was just going to fly around until we find them then beat the stuffing out of them.

Kei: [grinning] I know there was a reason I liked you.

Yuri: [disgruntled] Glad you both have something in common.

Damien: OK, what do YOU suggest?

Yuri: Well, I suppose we should find them first. Where did you intend to start looking?

Damien: The ravine where my father died. My guess is that the Disciples dug him out or something and that's how Boss got the holo-log. Other than that, [shrugs] I haven't a clue.

Yuri: Ooookay, assuming we find them, what do we do then?

Kei: Beat `em up, of course!

Yuri: Kei, your lack of...of subtlety, of common SENSE is inhuman at times.

Kei: [riled up] What, you have a better idea?!

Damien: [thinking] Oh god, not again.

Yuri: Have you ever considered something more devious or sneaky perhaps?

Kei: Naw, I leave that stuff to you.

Yuri: What's that supposed to mean?!

[The ravine has become visible through the car's windshield. Damien's face takes on a haunted look.]

Kei: Nothing, nothing. Merely that I leave all the underhanded, cunning, backstabbing tricks to you!

Yuri: Yeah, right! Like you've never done anything dirty!

[Damien notices something diving towards them, the sun at its back.]

Kei: [smiling] I don't have any subtlety, remember?

Damien: [muttering] Oh bloody hell.

[Before Yuri can retort, Damien veers the car hard to the right as the thing reveals itself to be a small, maneuverable, atmospheric fighter, firing red lances of energy at them. Damien dodges, the beams hitting the ground instead and kicking up clouds of half-molten sand. Yuri, who has no seat belt, is tossed around.]

Damien: The captain advises all passengers to fasten their seat belts, we are experiencing minor air turbulance.

[The fighter is swinging around for another pass.]

Yuri: MINOR!?! I'd hate to see your idea of an hurricane!

Damien: Look, the first rule of commercial flying is-

[The fighter comes back, firing its guns. Damien dodges again by doing a barrel roll then rapidly climbs higher.]

Damien: -NEVER tell the passengers how bad things are.

[Damien's car is now climbing vertically, dodging more blasts.]

Kei: Think we found them?

Yuri: That would be my guess.

Damien: What makes you say that?

[The car levels out. Damien pushes a button and a pair of missiles protrude from his headlights. He swings the car around and accelerates straight towards the fighter.]

Yuri: Uh, Damien, not to complain or anything but-

Kei: [screaming] ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU'LL GET US KILLED!!

Damien: Relax, everything's under control.

[Damien fires the missiles which arc off towards the fighter, which fires again. This time the car is nicked along the bottom, various parts shot off.]

Damien: Maybe not.

[Damien's car starts losing power as the missiles strike the fighter.]

Yuri: What's wrong?

Damien: Minor engine trouble.

[Damien's car stalls and starts losing altitude.]

Damien: OK, I lied. MAJOR engine trouble.

Kei: What's wrong with it?

Damien: We don't have it anymore.

Yuri: Sounds like a problem to me.

[Damien's car is now arcing towards the ground, having not yet lost its forward momentum but accelerating downwards rapidly.]

Damien: Time to bail out! Kei, are you strapped in your seat?!

Kei: Yeah!

Damien: Good! Yuri, hold on to me! [Yuri grabs Damien as he flips open an access panel and pulls a lever with one arm, the other arm wrapped around Yuri's waist. The car top blows off and the seats eject seperately. Yuri is practically sitting in Damien's lap as they and Kei seperate in midair. Kei gives the thumbs up until she notices the fighter's flaming wreckage come careening towards the car's wreckage. With the impossible luck found only in the Dirty Pair, the two collide, exploding spectacularly.]

Damien, Yuri, and Kei: OH SHIIIIIIII-!!!

[Cut to a large command room. A huge monitor dominates one wall as lackeys sit and operate various terminals, people walking about constantly. On a balcony overlooking the main room, Boss and Robinson are staring at static-filled monitor. Robinson removes a plug from his neck.]

Robinson: [massaging his neck] Sorry about losing the plane, Boss.

Boss: `Sokay, Robinson. I'd've been disappointed if Damien hadn't blown up the fighter.

Robinson: I wish I knew about those missiles. I wasn't expecting them.

Boss: [smiling wistfully] With Damien you never know exactly what to expect.

Robinson: Should we dispatch a search party?

Boss: [thinking] No, that won't be necessary. At least not tonight. There's a sand storm coming within the next cycle. That should take care of them. If not, then we'll deal with them.

Robinson: Okay, Boss, if you say so.

[The monitor lights up with the face of a young comm officer.]

Officer: Sorry to bother you, Boss, but the Commander wants to see you.

Boss: I'm on my way. [leaves the room]

[Meanwhile, Damien and Yuri are blown in one direction by the explosion while Kei is blown in another. Kei quickly disappears out of sight. Yuri's mouth is open in an unheard scream, drowned out by the whistling wind. Finally, the parachute in the seat opens, jerking Damien and Yuri upwards. Yuri is still clinging tightly to Damien, who holds on to her so she doesn't fall.]

Damien: [sighing] So much for my car.

Yuri: [upset] Your car?! What about Kei!?!

Damien: She'll survive. My father's car won't. [smiling wryly] Good thing he's dead or I'd catch hell for blowing it up.

[Yuri and Damien laugh together for a moment. Then Yuri looks somber.]

Yuri: Are you sure Kei will be okay?

Damien: Well, assuming her parachute works, she'll land safely. I think she can deal with anything the Feld throws at her. The seat also has some survival equipment built into it, assuming she can find it.

Yuri: Do you think we'll be able to find her?

Damien: She's your partner. What do you think she'll do?

Yuri: Well, she'll probably either look for us or go on to the ravine. It's only a few klicks away, right? It depends on where she thinks it'll be more likely we'll meet her.

Damien: Right. So we should all be fine.

Yuri: [glancing down] Looks like we have a long way to go.

Damien: Sorry about that. Hadn't intended to climb QUITE this high.

Yuri: It's okay. I kinda like it up here.

Damien: [smiling] Would you prefer to be alone?

Yuri: No way! [giggles] How many excuses do I get to hold on to you like this?

Damien: [innocently] I wasn't aware of the fact that you needed an excuse.

Yuri: Don't give me too many ideas, or I'll start turning into Kei.

Damien: You say that as if it were a bad thing.

Yuri: [sharply] What's that supposed to mean?

Damien: Nothing, just that...I sometimes have a hard time understanding why you haven't shot each other yet.

Yuri: Oh, we get into minor arguments now and then, but almost never anything serious.

Damien: What do you fight over? Besides me, that is.

Yuri: Hey, you're sounding a bit too cocky about this, y'know!

Damien: It's true though, isn't it? What's the point of false modesty?

Yuri: [sighing] I suppose. We get a little competitive about things at times.

Damien: Only a little? Could've fooled me.

Yuri: Watch it, or I'll-

Damien: What? I'm the one with the parachute!

Yuri: ...

Damien: Thought so. Why do you two bother anyway? Fighting, that is?

Yuri: I dunno. Tension reliever I suppose. We make a big deal about little things so that the big things don't bother us as much, I guess.

Damien: [nodding] OK, that makes sense, I suppose, but still...

Yuri: I know, it's silly at times, but it keeps us from shooting each other.

Damien: It certainly provides comic relief for an amused, detached spectator like myself.

Yuri: Detached?

Damien: Well, okay, not really, but it is humorous. For me at least.

Yuri: [sarcastically] Glad we could entertain you.

Damien: It's all part of your peculiar charm, to be sure.

Yuri: Both of ours, or just mine?

Damien: You choose. The wrong answer would probably get me killed anyway.

[Before Yuri can reply, they hit the ground. Dust swirls around their landing point and the parachute settles over them. Coughing, they emerge from under the parachute, leaning against one another for support.]

Damien: [gasping] I'd almost forgotten what fun it was to inhale Feld Desert sand. [collapses on the ground]

Yuri: [hoarsely] Thanks for keeping it a secret. I love the feel of sandpaper on my throat. Really. [falls down next to Damien]

Damien: Damn, but you can be caustic at times.

Yuri: It's all part of my peculiar charm. Just like not telling me anything is part of yours.

Damien: What can I say? I like seeming mysterious. The alternative is stupid, which, while perhaps more accurate, is not exactly the image I'm looking for.

Yuri: [smiling weakly] Keeping up appearances?

Damien: Women aren't the only ones. Men are plenty vain too.

Yuri: Funny, I didn't think of you as vain.

Damien: We all have our weaknesses. If it makes you feel better, think of it as a facade covering the real, sensitive me.

Yuri: Is it true?

Damien: [shrugs] Does it matter?

Yuri: Of course! The truth always matters.

Damien: I don't believe in absolutes. Take me as you wish.

Yuri: [leaning against Damien, smiling] Okay!

Damien: That's not quite what I meant! [smiling] Besides, what would Kei think?

Yuri: Kei's not here.

[Yuri looks at Damien meaningfully who pretends to ignore it. He gets up abruptly, moving the parachute off of the chair. Yuri, disgruntled by the brush-off, says nothing. He rips the seat up, revealing a variety of survival gear. He unfolds a cloak and tosses it at Yuri.]

Damien: Put that one. It'll protect your fair skin from getting sunburn.

Yuri: [eyeing it suspiciously] Yeah, but won't it be too hot?

Damien: [tossing a knapsack of supplies aside] Naw. Trust me.

Yuri: Last time you said that was right before you lost the car. [puts on cloak]

Damien: [cutting up the parachute] What can I say? We all make mistakes.

Yuri: [facetiously] Even you.

Damien: [quietly] Especially me.

[Damien continues working in silence. Yuri examines the contents of the knapsack, finding rations, a canteen, signal flares, matches, and various sundry items. Damien finishes cutting out a makeshift cloak and ties it around his neck. Yuri takes one look and giggles.]

Yuri: It's Super-Damien!

Damien: So I look like an idiot. Nothing new about that. C'mon, let's go.

Yuri: [taking his arm] That's not what I meant. I think it's cute!

[Damien shoulders the knapsack and they head off towards the ravine in the distance. Meanwhile, Kei has landed elsewhere. She crawls out from under her parachute, coughing. She stands up, wiping her mouth.]

Kei: This is just great. How the hell am I supposed to find them? If this is Damien's idea of control, I hope I never see him out of control.

[Unseen by Kei, the sand behind her is rippling strangely.]

Kei: [dusting herself off and spitting] Yuck, this stuff's awful!

[Ominously, a long-snouted head with lots of sharp teeth emerges from the sand behind Kei, attached to a long, supple neck, like some aquatic dinosaur displaced in time and place.]

Kei: I think I got some in my clothes! How'm I supposed to-

[Kei whirls around in time to see the head diving towards her. She jumps aside, the head slamming into the ground, and rolls in the sand. She gets up in a crouch, drawing her gun.]

Kei: Now I'm fighting sand-monsters. Great.

[Kei pulls the trigger. To her amazement, the gun fizzles, sparks, and refuses to fire. She barely manages to dodge the creature's second attack. Annoyed, she tosses the gun aside and pulls out a grenade. As the thing charges her again, she hurls the grenade into its open maw. It explodes, splattering sand-monster brains all over the place, including on Kei.]

Kei: Yuck! No way to take a shower either. I'm gonna kill him!

[Kei picks up her gun and cleans it, getting rid of the sand clogging it.]

Kei: Let's see if we can find anything useful in the seat. [rumages through the chair, finding the same stuff Damien and Yuri did.]

[Back to the Disciples. Boss is entering a darkened office. A woman is sitting at a desk, her upper body shrouded in shadows.]

Boss: [saluting] Good afternoon, ma'am.

Woman: Has our problem been dealt with?

Boss: Not completely. Their aircar has been shot down, but they have proven themselves...resourceful in the past. I will dispatch a search party after the sandstorm blows over tomorrow.

Woman: Very well. You know I dislike loose ends. And this troublesome trio is proving to be very loose indeed. I trust you will not fail to kill ALL of them this time?

Boss: No, ma'am.

Woman: Very well. Dismissed.

[Back in the desert, Yuri and Damien are still walking along, arm in arm. The sun is setting.]

Yuri: Any natives we need to worry about?

Damien: During the day, not really; only if you're unlucky enough to stumble on something's lair. But at night it could be a problem. Most things burrow through the sand here, which is often where they strike from. We'll probably want to find some sort of shelter. There are occassional rock outcroppings which should do.

Yuri: [pointing] You mean like those?

Damien: Yeah. Solid rock is a lot safer than the sand out here. Those look like as good a place to camp as any.

Yuri: OK.

[Damien and Yuri are climbing over the rocks, looking for a suitable spot. Yuri puts her hand too near the lair of a sandsnake. The snake coils to strike. Just as it springs, Damien notices.]

Damien: Look out!

[Damien pushs Yuri out of the way and his hand gets struck instead. Swiftly, Damien draws his sword and slices off the snake's head.]

Yuri: Thanks. [notices Damien's pained expression] What's wrong?

Damien: [leaning against a rock, pulls the snake's head off his hand] P-poison. [tries to cut the snake bite with his sword but his hands shake too much] H-have to-

[Yuri nods. She pulls out the Bloody Card, making an incision. She sucks the venom from the wound and spits it out quickly several times.]

Damien: [slumping to the ground] Rinse your mouth. First with the stuff in the blue vial in the sack, then with water. [starts shivering]

[Yuri pulls out the blue vial, opens it, and gargles its contents. Spitting it out, she uses water from the canteen to rinse again.]

Yuri: [wiping her mouth] Sandsnake? [Damien nods] What's the blue vial for?

Damien: [teeth chattering] N-neutralizes t-the p-poison in your mouth. Water gets rid of it. [curls up into a ball]

Yuri: [kneeling next to Damien] What's wrong?

Damien: Effect of the venom.

Yuri: What does it do?

Damien: Loss of muscular control, convulsions-

Yuri: I can tell that much.

Damien: [smiling weakly] R-right. W-well you know about the verbal suggestiveness.

Yuri: [smiling] You bet.

Damien: Well, it also screws up your senses and your mind. [flushing slightly] It's also a....uh...mild aphrodisiac.

Yuri: [cocking an eyebrow, the smile growing] Oh really?

Damien: Yeah. Don't get any funny ideas though.

Yuri: Nothing could be further from my mind. So...will you live?

Damien: Since my heart hasn't stopped, I haven't suffered from cardiac arrest yet. But I have to stay awake for at least ten minutes. If I doze off before that, the venom might cause all my involuntary actions to stop. Like living.

Yuri: So I have to keep you up.

Damien: Yup. [smiles wryly] This is what I get for being a hero.

Yuri: [wrapping the cloak around both of them] That's right, you saved my life! [smiling wickedly] Guess you need your reward, huh? [kisses him]

Damien: Well, it's one way to stay awake. Just remember, I don't go all the way on the first date.

Yuri: This isn't a date.

Damien: Oh! That's all right then. [shaking his head] Don't give me any ideas. I'm liable to try them.

Yuri: [drawing closer] That's the point.

Damien: That's not the trouble. The mind is willing, but the body won't work. Another effect of the poison.

Yuri: [grinning] Are you suuuuure?

Damien: Let's just say it'll be too embarassing if I'm right.

Yuri: [shrugging] Suit yourself.

Damien: Hey, it's no picnic for me! [smiling wryly] It's not easy to be so close yet so far.

Yuri: I thought you wanted to be less intimate.

Damien: Sorry, that's just the hormones talking. Waitaminute. Do you two swap stories about me or something?

Yuri: [innocently] Us? What makes you say that?

Damien: Suffice it to say you're either talkative or psychic.

Yuri: Well, aaactually...

[Kei is sitting curled up on a stony outcropping, wrapped in her cloak. Her gun is out across her knees. She periodically starts to doze off then suddenly snaps back awake. An occasional noise makes her jump to her feet, scanning the darkness nervously, before she settles back down.]

Kei: [whispering] I hate this. I'm gonna kill both of them, swear to God. This is all his fault. "Under control!" I hate-

[Kei hears faint laughter in the distance. She stands up, surprised.]

Kei: Yuri? Damien? [heads off]

[Yuri and Damien are laughing hysterically.]

Damien: [gasping] You've got to be kidding! I don't believe it!

Yuri: I'm serious!

Damien: [laughing some more] That's unbelievable! Damn, I wish I could've been there!

[After a while they calm down again. Damien's convulsions have lessened. He wipes away his tears of laughter, then impulsively wipes away Yuri's. She smiles.]

Yuri: You're not shivering much anymore.

Damien: Yeah, I noticed. I think it's wearing off.

Yuri: [grinning] So does that mean you're in control of your body again?

Damien: Not yet. [wraps the cloak tighter, pressing up against Yuri] I still FEEL cold.

Yuri: Not to me. Your skin's burning hot.

Damien: [drowsily] S'funny. I was going to say the same about you.

Yuri: Hey! You're not allowed to doze off yet!

Damien: [yawning] Sorry. It's just...oh, hell, this calls for desperate measures.

[Kei comes into view just as Damien is about to kiss Yuri.]

Kei: Hey you guys! You're alive!

[Damien and Yuri abruptly break off. Yuri jumps to her feet and runs to Kei.]

Yuri: Kei! You're alright!

[The Pair are crying and laughing joyfully. Damien slowly stands up.]

Damien: Welcome back, Kei.

Kei: [wiping away her tears] Is that all you can say? [hugs Damien and kisses him enthusiastically]

Damien: [smiling wryly] I dunno, compared to a greeting like that, anything I can think of seems pretty lame.

Kei: [grinning] Oh don't worry, I'm sure we can work something out.

Damien: [muttering] Great. [slides down to the ground again]

Kei: Hey, what's wrong with you?

Yuri: He got bitten by a snake while trying to be heroic.

Damien: I knew I should've just killed it, rather than pushing Yuri out of the way first.

Kei: Sounds pretty careless to me.

Damien: Somebody's got to do it. Anyway, if you don't mind, I think I'll go to sleep now.

Yuri: Is it safe?

Damien: I think so. If I don't wake up, though, you'll know why.

[Damien curls up and falls asleep almost instantly. Kei drags Yuri off away from Damien.]

Kei: [whispering] So how far'd you get?

Yuri: [confused] Huh?! Wha-?! But-? Aren't you jealous?

Kei: Insanely. [winking] That's why I want the seamy details.

Yuri: I think you've had one too many sleazy dates. Or maybe not enough.

Kei: Yeah yeah, so what happened?

Yuri: No more than you saw. Or any more than last night.

Kei: [almost disappointed] Sheesh. Looks like we're both stuck then.

Yuri: That's one way to put it.

Kei: Maybe I should simplify things and just kill him. Or you.

Yuri: Can't kill me. Need my help to pay the rent.

Kei: Hmmm. Good point. And we probably need his help to get out of here, don't we?

Yuri: Wouldn't hurt.

Kei: Can't I just kick him a couple of times or something?

Yuri: I already did that last night.

Kei: That would explain the groaning. [sighs] Guess I'll have to find another way to work off my tension then. [thinking] I wonder if there's another one of those sand-monsters around?

Yuri: [sniffing] Hey, what's that awful smell.

Kei: Uhhh, sorry. Something tried to eat me. I decided to kill it instead. Got some of it on me, though.

Yuri: Oh gross! That's disgusting!

Kei: Look! It's not like I wallowed in its corpse or anything!

Yuri: I think I'm going to be sick...

[The next morning. Kei and Yuri are asleep, almost back to back, wrapped up in their cloaks. Damien's jacket is lying on top of both of them. Damien, wearing his makeshift cloak, is silently stalking something that looks like a cross between a rabbit and a cat, his sword out. He climbs an outcropping above it, watching it carefully. The thing is chewing on some sort of indigenous plant. Suddenly, Damien jumps, his sword out. The thing notices his descent and tries to flee, but Damien cuts its head off as he hits the ground. Later Kei stirs, gets up, and sees Damien cooking the thing over a small, portable burner. She notices Damien's jacket, picks it up, and tosses it at him.]

Damien: `Bout time you woke up. I thought you two were the morning people. [puts on his jacket]

Kei: Everybody likes to sleep late sometimes. [sniffing] What's that? It smells great!

Damien: A small, defenseless, furry creature I killed. [grinning] Have to satisfy my daily manhood quotient SOMEHOW.

Kei: Whatever. Gimme a slice.

Damien: Such table manners! [cuts a piece off with his sword, hands it to Kei] Enjoy. Careful, it's hot.

Kei: [taking it with a small knife] Thanks. [takes a bite] Not bad. But why bother with hunting when we have rations?

Damien: Maybe I want to conserve our rations. Maybe I'd rather eat these here tasty rocks rather than our rations. Maybe I just wanted to see if I still could. Take your pick.

Kei: What, you do this before?

Damien: Yup. Something Boss taught me. Part of his basic survival training course.

Kei: I don't remember learning this stuff in 3WA survival training.

Damien: Like I said, it was part of HIS basic survival training course. You didn't pass if you couldn't catch something with your bare hands.

Kei: Looks like you're not the only one who believes in this macho crap.

Damien: [smiling] Where do you think I learned it from? It's the oldest self-perpetuating system in existence!

Kei: Why are you up so early?

Damien: I woke up because of a nightmare. Didn't see the point in going back to sleep.

Kei: [teasingly] I thought only kids had nightmares.

Damien: Yeah, well, maybe I'm having a second childhood. Or never outgrew the first.

Kei: [sympathetically] Sorry. Was it that bad?

Damien: Of course. [grinning] I dreamed you and Yuri decided to stop fighting OVER me and decided to gang up AGAINST me.

Kei: [throws a bone at Damien] I'm serious!

Damien: [innocently] Who says I wasn't? Just the thought- [ducks another bone] OK OK! You want the truth, it was another flashback.

Kei: Another one? You mean it's not the first?

Damien: `Course it isn't. All us tortured heroes suffer from flashbacks. The past keeps regurgitating itself in our minds, over and over and over. Especially our mistakes. They haunt us a couple times a day, at LEAST.

Kei: [eyeing him critically] Are you serious?

[Yuri sits up and yawns, stretching out. She blinks blearily a few times.]

Damien: Does it matter? [to Yuri] Welcome back to the land of the living, Yuri! Come hither, woman, and partake of the bounty I have brought!

Kei: [muttering] Oh puleeze.

Yuri: Ugh. I feel disgusting. Like something died in my mouth. Bet I look awful too.

Damien: Frightful. Care for some cooked, small, defenseless, furry creature, or will the remains of the one still in your mouth suffice for your breakfast?

Yuri: Shut up and gimme.

Damien: Sheesh! Glad I don't have to live with you people. You're NO fun at ALL when you wake up.

Yuri: I take it you're still alive.

Damien: Actually, this is the Ghost of Christmas Past, temporarily borrowing Damien's corpse.

Kei: Have you been drinking the burner fluid or something?

Damien: Well, we ARE running out of water... [Kei rolls her eyes as Yuri starts eating] Just kidding! Naw, I'm in a good mood. [melodramatically] Or maybe I'm pretending to be in a good mood in order to cover up my inner pain and loneliness. [smiling] Your choice.

Kei: [shrugging] Whatever.

Yuri: [between bites] So what are we doing today?

Damien: Pressing onwards, of course. Unless you have a better idea?

Yuri: I meant...lemme guess. No plan yet, right?

Damien: Nope.

Yuri: Right. [goes back to eating]

Kei: So what was your bad dream like?

Damien: I don't remember.

Kei: What?!

Damien: I said I don't remember. They always fade once I wake up. All I know is that they're about my past and all that's left is a vague feeling of dread tickling the bottom of my stomach.

Kei: Of all the-

Damien: What were you expecting, a complete documentary on my life? We all have secrets. I'd like to keep mine that way.

Kei: Oooooh! Mr. Mysterious!

Damien: That's me. [stands up] I hope that was enough, because I really don't- [stops and stares into the distance] Oh bloody hell.

[The Pair get up, Yuri still eating, and look in the same direction as Damien.]

Kei: What is it?

[Off in the distance, a huge cloud of dust is rapidly approaching.]

Yuri: [swallows her last bite] A lot of ships? [throws away the bone]

Damien: [pale] No. A sandstorm. [more commanding] Look around for shelter!

[The three split up, looking around. Kei spots a deep niche in the side of an outcropping.]

Kei: Found something! [pointing] How's that?

Damien: It'll do. Now do me a favor and don't argue with me. Get down and curl up.

Kei & Yuri: WHAT?!

Damien: [thinking] I knew it. [to the Pair] I'm going to wrap you two in your cloaks. It's tough enough to withstand a sandstorm.

Kei: But what about you?

Yuri: You don't have a cloak.

Damien: Don't worry, I got my jacket and the parachute remains. I'll be fine. Now get down.

Kei: But-

Damien: [snapping] Look, dammit, we don't have time to argue! Now get down before I shoot you!

[Reluctantly, the Pair get down on the ground. Damien wraps them in their cloaks by folding them over and pressing the edges together, closing the cloaks like giant Zip-lock bags with the Pair inside.]

Damien: The cloaks're porous enough that you'll be able to breathe. Wait until the storm blows over before coming out, or you're going to get your skin flayed off your bones, which is really unattractive, y'know?

[Damien carefully carries the Pair into the niche, setting them as far back in as possible. He glances back and sees the sandstorm is much closer. Quickly he curls up into a ball next to them, wrapping his cloak around him, then ties the ends together in one big knot. Just as he gets settled behind the Pair, the first wisps of dust start swirling around.]

Kei: Ouch! I hate this!

Yuri: Damien, are you sure-?

Damien: Don't worry about it! Just lie back! Relax! Go back to sleep! I just hope you don't need to go to the bathroom! [thinking] This sucks rocks.

[The sandstorm has already reached a fever-pitch. The windblown sand is visibly covering some areas while wearing away at others. Damien's cloak is slowly erroding away, evidently not built to withstand such abuse.]

Damien: [thinking] Correction. Sand. This sucks sand. Or at least I'm going to. This had better be a short storm, or else this is going to be a pretty lousy death.

SCENE 13

[Boss is lying in bed, one hand behind his head, the other holding a holo-cube identical to the one Damien has. He is staring intently at Damien's father.]

Boss: [quietly] I'm sorry, my friend. I can't be his guardian anymore. I have other...responsibilities now.

[Boss is silent again, still staring, when the loud beep of a communicator is heard. Without getting up, Boss answers.]

Boss: Yes?

Communicator: Sorry to disturb you, Boss, but the sandstorm is over outside. Do you want us to dispatch that search team now?

Boss: Yeah, go ahead. Boss out.

Communicator: Robinson out.

[Switch to our protagonists. The sandstorm has finished. Kei and Yuri are digging their way out of the accumulated sand. Damien is already standing up, shaking sand off his jacket, the back of which has been flayed by the sand.]

Yuri: [spitting] Yuck! You should've warned us about being buried alive, Damien.

Damien: Must've slipped my mind.

Kei: [brushing herself off] Yeah. Does this stuff ever come off?

Damien: If you can find a shower, yeah.

Yuri: [digging her cloak out of the sand] So how are you doing?

Damien: Well, my cloak's gone with the wind, and it looks like I need a new jacket again, but other than that, I'm okay. [puts jacket on] I still have my skin, so I guess I can't complain.

Kei: Wonderful. [gets her cloak out of the sand]

Damien: I lucked out. I should've gotten in first to be able to use you two as sand-blast shields.

Yuri: [sarcastically] Gee, sorry we couldn't be more useful.

Damien: [shrugging] Your cloaks withstood the storm. Mine didn't. Had the storm been much longer I'd probably be dead.

Kei: Pretty cold-blooded attitude, though.

Damien: You don't survive the Feld by being nice. You do whatever needs to be done, and to hell with courtesy.

Yuri: [casually] Just out of curiosity, if it came down to saving us or yourself, who would you favor?

Damien: [pauses] Who would you?

[Kei and Yuri just look at each other while Damien takes out a pair of small binoculars and slowly surveys the surrounding area. He stops suddenly as he looks towards the ravine.]

Damien: Bingo.

Kei & Yuri: What?

Damien: [tossing the binoculars at them] A welcoming party.

[The Pair each take turns using the binoculars. A group of hovercraft are emerging from the ravine and headed in their general direction.]

Yuri: What are the chances they know we're here?

Damien: [taking the binoculars back] Slim. I'd say they're probably expecting corpses. [watches the oncoming search party]

Kei: [drawing her gun with a grin] Wouldn't want to disappoint them, would we?

Damien: [smiling faintly] Kei, as much as I can admire that attitude, I think killing them outright is not the best idea right now.

Yuri: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Damien: If it involves sneaking into their base after acquiring some transportation, then I think it's safe to say we're thinking the same thing.

Kei: Sneak sneak sneak...don't you two think of anything else? All this deviousness gets boring after a while.

Yuri: Look, we'll let YOU kill the driver, okay?

Kei: That's not a lot of fun.

Damien: Business before pleasure. Now all we need is a plan.

Kei: I've got one!

Yuri: YOU?! This should be unique.

Damien: I wasn't going to say anything...

Kei: Aw, c'mon, have some faith!

[The search party has split up into individual craft. An open hovercar is slowly flying over the rocks. The pilot and sole passenger are looking around. They spot Yuri's prone form lying on the ground.]

Passenger: [in radio] This is Alpha Five. Spotted what looks like one of our birds, over.

Radio: [static-filled] Roger, Alpha Five. Approach with caution, over.

Passenger: Roger. Alpha Five out. [to driver] You heard the man.

[The passenger pulls out his gun as they approach Yuri. As they fly between and below a pair of high ledges, Kei and Damien leap from the ledges into the car. Startled, the passenger turns around to shoot as Kei knocks his gun out of his hand with her foot then plants her fist in his face. The driver starts rocking the ship violently, but Kei just kicks him into submission. Damien pushes his unconscious body aside and lands the hovercar as Yuri stands up, brushing herself off.]

Yuri: [sourly] How come I had to be the bait?

Kei: [smiling] `Cause it was my plan!

Yuri: I would've come up with the plan if I knew I'd have to roll around in this crap!

Kei: Now don't exaggerate, Yuri. You never had to roll around in it.

Yuri: Right, just lie face down in it.

[Damien is calmly taking the uniform off the driver and changing into it.]

Kei: Hey, it worked, didn't it?

Yuri: I need a shower AND a vacation. Only this time I choose where we go.

Kei: What's wrong with my choice of vacation spots?

Yuri: You have to ask after what happened last time we were on vacation?

Kei: It wasn't MY fault Shasti was there.

Yuri: Doesn't change the fact it was YOUR impeccable sense that led us there.

Kei: Oh yeah, well what about-

Damien: [now in the driver's clothes] I HATE to interrupt, but I wanted to know which of you wants to play passenger. I'm afraid we DO still have a job to finish, remember?

Kei & Yuri: [pointing to the other] She does.

[Damien is taking the passenger's clothes off. The Pair toss the driver overboard.]

Damien: Look, I don't care which of you plays the passenger, but-

Radio: [static-filled] Come in, Alpha Five. Report your status, over.

[The trio look at each other for a moment before Damien picks up the radio, doing his best impersonation of the passenger's voice.]

Damien: Roger, this is Alpha Five. We've got one of our birds. She's still alive, but barely. Should we bring her in, over?

Radio: Roger Alpha Five, reel her in, over.

Damien: Roger. Alpha Five out. [puts radio down] Yuri, you get to play dead again. Kei, you're my passenger. [tosses the clothes to Kei]

Yuri: Pushy, aren't we?

Damien: [throws passenger over side] Yup. [gets into driver's seat]

Kei: [changing into her disguise] Now don't peek!

Damien: [smiling] Nothing could be further from my mind.

[The hovercar takes off, Kei still in mid-change. Grumbling, Yuri lies down on the floor in the back. Kei hops into her seat next to Damien.]

Kei: What do you think?

Damien: Perfect. Ummm, except for the fact that it now looks like my passenger had some impromptu plastic surgery.

Kei: [grinning] So who'll notice?

Damien: Everyone. [smiling] I'm just wondering if anyone will complain.

[The hovercar zooms off into the distance, headed towards the ravine.]

[Switch to the Disciples' control room. Robinson is sitting alone on the balcony when Boss enters from behind.]

Boss: What's the search party's status?

Robinson: Alpha Five reports finding one of the Dirty Pair and is bringing her in now, Boss. Apparently she's barely alive.

Boss: [nodding slowly] I see. [thinking] What are you up to this time, Damien?

Robinson: Oh, and the Commander wants to see you again.

Boss: [sighing] I'm going. [leaves]

[Boss enters the darkened office again. The same woman is sitting in the shadows.]

Boss: You wanted to see me, ma'am?

Woman: Yes. I am concerned that your past ties with this...Damien may be interfering with your judgment.

Boss: I can assure you, they aren't. I haven't forgotten the past, but it no longer concerns me either.

Woman: Then why are you capturing one of them? My orders were to kill them.

Boss: And they will be. But since one of them, at least, has apparently survived, I would like to find out exactly how much they know of our operation. I also want to know where the other two are.

Woman: I see. Very well. But remember they have outlived their usefulness to us. I dislike carrying dead weight.

Boss: Understood, ma'am.

Woman: That is all. Dismissed.

[The trio in question is flying through the ravine, the steep walls looming ominously over them. The wind whistles mournfully. Damien's eyes are darting back and forth, surveying the walls warily. He wipes a bead of sweat from his brow.]

Kei: Edgy, aren't you?

Damien: Huh?! Oh...sorry. [smiling nervously] I feel like I'm facing old ghosts.

Kei: Why?

Damien: This is the place my old team got wiped out at.

Yuri: You mean-?

Damien: [nodding] Where my father died. It's weird. I never thought I'd come back here. [shrugging] C'est la vie. [with a forced laugh] As long as we aren't buried alive.

[They continue in nervous silence, all three of them wary now, until they reach the end of the ravine, a solid vertical rock wall.]

Damien: [muttering] Now what?

[As if on cue, the radio crackles back to life, startling all of them.]

Radio: Alpha Five, you are cleared to land, over.

Damien: [picking up radio] Affirmative. Alpha Five out.

[Slowly, the cliff wall splits horizontally and opens like a mouth. Dust and loose rocks are kicked up or knocked down by the mammoth jaws opening. The ravine reverberates until the opening stops. Nervously, Damien flys into the dark opening. Surreptitiously he pulls out a small disc, squeezes it, and tosses it over the side.]

Damien: Once more unto the breach, my friends.

[As soon as the hovercar is inside, the opening closes, just as ponderously, shutting loudly. An ominous silence hangs over the ravine. Inside, the trio has entered a large underground hanger. Vehicles of virtually every description abound. Mechanics bustle about, servicing different vehicles. The trio are almost gaping as they slowly land in a vacant spot.]

Damien: It's like a small army!

Kei: [whistling] Some of this should be military use only.

Yuri: Don't see any spacecraft though. Atmospherics at best.

Kei: Good, that means they won't be causing any interplanetary trouble in the near future.

Damien: Still impressive. [notices an approaching mechanic] Oops. Yuri, time to play dead.

[Yuri ducks out of sight as Kei and Damien hop out of the aircar.]

Kei: [whispering] Leave him to me.

Mechanic: [coming closer] Hey, you can't park that thing here!

Kei: [innocently] Really? Gosh, I'm SO sorry. I have no idea what we were thinking. This hanger is just TOO big. [sweetly] Could YOU point us where we're supposed to go? I'd be REALLY grateful.

Mechanic: [flustered] Oh. Ahhh, well, that depends. Which unit are you from?

Kei: [smiling] Alpha Five.

Mechanic: [sweating] OK. [pointing] You guys should park over there, see? Five lanes up, three over.

Kei: [leaning close to the mechanic, following his finger] Oh, I see. Thanks a lot.

Mechanic: [smiling] Don't men-

[Damien casually knocks him out by hitting the back of his neck.]

Damien: [catching the mechanic's body] Sorry, but my stomach was having trouble.

Kei: It worked, didn't it? So you should have no complaints. [grinning] Unless you're jealous, of course.

Damien: [pulling the mechanic into the aircar's back] Insanely. [tosses him on the floor] Here, Yuri, a riding companion.

Yuri: [giving Damien the evil eye] Don't take this wrong, Damien, but-

[The rest of her comment is drowned out by the aircar's fans as it takes off again and moves to the right landing space. After cutting off the engine, Damien is staring in wide-eyed amazement at Yuri. Another mechanic is approaching them.]

Damien: [innocently] Gosh, Yuri, I don't think half of that is even legal. And quite a bit of it physically impossible. At least for me.

Mechanic: [smiling] Hey guys, heard you- [surprised] Hey! Who are y-

[Kei leaps out and kicks the mechanic in his gut. He doubles over. Kei finishes him off by elbowing the back of his neck. Damien drags him into the aircar as well, takes the clothes off him and gives them to Yuri, then covers both mechanics with the Pair's cloaks. Yuri puts on the uniform.]

Damien: We probably don't have a lot of time before someone notices something's wrong.

Yuri: Rendezvous back here in an hour?

Damien: Right.

Kei: What are you going to be doing, though?

Damien: Me? [grins mischievously] I'm just going to run a couple of errands.

Kei: [sighing] Fine. Just try not to get killed, alright?

Damien: [facetiously] Yes, dear.

[The Pair head off towards an exit. Damien casually makes his way to what looks like the main refueling depot. The occasional wandering mechanic ignores him. He takes out another disc, squeezes it, and hides it in the depot. Looking around, he shrugs and heads towards another exit randomly.]

Damien: [thinking] That's the trouble with terrorist bases. There's never a tour guide when you need one.

[Elsewhere, Yuri is accessing a small terminal in a hallway with Kei keeping watch.]

Kei: I still want to know what he's going to be doing.

Yuri: [distantly] Oh, let him have his way. He's just trying to be mysterious.

Kei: Maybe. But I don't see why we should go fetch him all the evidence while he goes sight-seeing.

Yuri: [distracted] Mmmm, you're just annoyed you can't shoot anybody yet.

Kei: Well, yeah. So how's it coming?

Yuri: [popping out her jack] Got it. Looks like they keep all their records stored downstairs. Just go down and make copies of all the interesting files and WHAM! we got our evidence.

Kei: Good. Let's get this over with then.

[Damien is wandering around the complex. The other Disciples either ignore him, carrying out their duties, or trade pleasantries. He stops at various points of interest, like an armory and a large storage room, hiding more of the discs. The Pair take an elevator down below then go into the records room, which bears an uncanny resemblance to the Data Storage Room back in Vanaheim City. Walking aimlessly, they eventually find an empty cubicle. Yuri jacks in with Kei standing guard again.]

Kei: How long?

Yuri: Dunno. [pulls out a program card and inserts it into the terminal] Depends on how much info I can find.

Kei: Well, make it quick. Our hour's going away quickly.

Yuri: Time flies when you're having fun.

Kei: Great, I thought only Damien used cliches.

Yuri: Calm down. I'm sure you'll get to kill someone soon.

[Damien has entered the main control room. While pretending to be looking at the main screen, he places another disc near it. On the other side of the room, Robinson is haranguing some luckless comm officer.]

Robinson: So where are they?!

Officer: I...I don't know, sir. Alpha Five landed almost thirty minutes ago, but no sign of them or their prisoner.

[Damien moves away from the screen, idly headed for another exit.]

Robinson: [muttering] This is damn peculiar. [louder] Tell Security to investigate. Yellow alert.

Officer: Yessir.

[Robinson heads off. Damien, looking in another direction, doesn't notice that they are on a collision course. The two bump into each other's shoulders.]

Robinson: Watch it-

Damien: Sorry, sir-

Damien & Robinson: [recognizing each other] YOU!?!

Robinson: Intru-!

[Damien cuts Robinson off by kneeing him in the groin and throwing him onto a terminal, startling the operator. A technician gets up to attack him but Damien kicks her, knocking her back.]

Someone: [out of sight] RED ALERT!! SECURITY, REPORT TO CENTRAL!!

[Damien pushes, kicks, punches, and shoves his way past people and equipment to the exit just as a security guard enters. His arm a blur, Damien draws and shoots him, running past his falling body.]

Damien: [thinking] Okay, so this wasn't such a great idea after all.

[Alarms are ringing and red lights are flashing throughout the complex. Security guards are grabbing various weapons and body armor. Kei is shaking her head in disgust as Yuri is jacking out.]

Kei: I KNEW he was going to screw up, I just KNEW it-

Yuri: Quit whining and let's get out of here.

[The Pair rush out of the cubicle, Yuri tucking the program card into her vest.]

Kei: Get everything?

Yuri: Got enough before they closed the grid down. Now let's-

[Yuri's statement is cut short by armed security guards who enter the room. Various non-combatants are jumping aside and ducking for cover as the Pair draw their guns.]

Yuri: See, Kei, I told you you'd get to kill someone soon.

Kei: Do me a favor, Yuri, and stop making predictions.

[The Pair explode into action against the guards, shooting, lobbing grenades, shouting, kicking, punching, tackling, throwing, flipping, jumping, and engaging in other inhuman acts as the non-combatants valiantly attempt to flee the room {with predicably humorous results}.]

Kei: [sees Yuri pulling out the Bloody Card] Not again...

Yuri: Oh calm down! It won't kill you!

Kei: That would be too merciful.

[Ignoring Kei, Yuri hurls the Bloody Card. It whizzes overhead, making lots of people duck and giving a few of them haircuts, before imbedding in the ceiling. It apparently cut a power cable, plunging the room into darkness.]

Yuri: Don't say a word, Kei!

Kei: Me? Would I say anything?

[Damien is running down a hallway, looking over his shoulder from time to time. He almost bowls over a team of security guards coming around a corner. Taken aback for a moment, he attacks them, shooting and cutting them with his sword. As he tries to reload his gun one-handed, it gets knocked out of his hands. Damien sticks to martial arts and swordsmanship after that. He kills at least of a dozen of them, but apparently there are a lot more, and eventually he is buried in a veritable pile of bodies, beating him to the ground.]

Damien: [thinking] Oh bloody hell.

[The Pair are continuing to fight in the dark, with occasional muzzle flashes and explosions the only illumination. After a while the fighting dies down. The Pair are panting in the dark. Barely audible is a faint hissing sound.]

Yuri: Did we get them all?

Kei: I think- Wait. What's that smell?

Yuri: [horrified] Gas! Kei! Cover your- [passes out and hits the ground]

Kei: [worried] Yuri?! Where are you? I- [thinking] And me without my gas mask. [passes out]

[Boss is on the balcony in the control room, surveying the medical teams helping Damien's victims, including Robinson.]

Boss: You've improved, Damien. [a radio call signals] Yes?

Officer: Security reports all three intruders have been neutralized and captured, Boss.

Boss: Excellent. Cancel red alert, switch to yellow. Have the Dirty Pair confined, but bring Damien to me.

Officer: Right, Boss. [signs off]

Boss: [muttering] It's time to wipe the slate clean.

SCENE 14

[Damien is being led, handcuffed and without his weapons, by a team of security guards through a corridor. His face is badly bruised and his movements are stiff. Robinson approaches them, limping slightly.]

Damien: [smiling thinly] This is becoming a bad habit.

Robinson: [wincing] I agree.

Damien: Prostate still bothering you? Aren't there any pills you could take for that?

Robinson: You know, I'd get upset at that comment if it weren't for the fact you're going to be dead very soon.

Damien: Why do you think I made it?

Robinson: Indeed. If you'd care to follow me...

Damien: Not particularly, but I seriously doubt free will is involved here, so I will anyway.

[Robinson leads the way onto the balcony of the main control room. Boss is standing with his back to them as they enter. Damien forces himself to stay calm, but his tightly clenched fists betray his inner turmoil.]

Boss: Hello, Damien.

Damien: Hi. Boss. Long time no see. Heard you were dead.

Boss: [turning around] As you can see, news of my death was greatly exaggerated.

Damien: Or at least premature. Pity I can't say it's a pleasure to see you again.

Boss: Isn't it though. [takes Damien's gun from one of the guards] Your father's gun. Didn't realize you were sentimental about him.

Damien: So, did you have anything in particular to say to me, or did you just want to say hello before I go?

Boss: [hands the gun back to the guard] I wanted you to understand.

Damien: Understand? What's to understand? You've gone from mercenary to idealistic revolutionary.

Boss: Now you're getting nasty.

Damien: Bad habit I picked up from my combat instructor.

Boss: You learned more than you should've.

Damien: I don't think I've learned enough. You want me to understand? OK, I'll start understanding. Lead the way.

Boss: Very well. Come on. Let's go sightseeing.

Robinson: Boss? Is that wise?

Boss: Bring the boys along to keep an eye on him if you want. I think it's time for Damien to understand what he's been up against.

[The group leaves the room, Damien next to Boss with Robinson and the guards behind them. They proceed in silence a while before Boss speaks.]

Boss: Aren't you curious?

Damien: [innocently] About what?

Boss: [sighing] Damien, I think you're being unnecessarily stubborn and troublesome about all this.

Damien: It's a gift.

Boss: Like father, like son.

Damien: What do you want from me? Bursting out in tears of joy that you're still alive? Tell me what happened to you and I'll think about it.

Boss: Sounds fair.

[As Boss talks about the past, still pictures appear as flashbacks in Boss' mind. The first ones show a land battle between armored combatants.]

Boss: My squad was ambushed during that recon mission. No survivors.

Damien: Except you.

Boss: Except me. Barely.

[A picture of Boss' mangled, bloodied body trapped in a combat suit appears.]

Boss: I would've died had they not saved me. I owe them.

Damien: And what about the rest of the company? Didn't you owe us something?

[A picture of Boss unconscious in an intensive care unit appears.]

Boss: I didn't regain consciousness until after the final battle. I could barely talk when they brought me your father's holo-log. Did you see it?

Damien: [softly] Yes. [pauses] So. Did you sell us out?

Boss: Would you believe me if I said no?

Damien: Maybe.

Boss: No.

Damien: I see.

Boss: They told me everyone had been killed. And I had no reason to doubt it.

[A picture of Boss standing in front of a recent grave with a shovel appears.]

Boss: I buried your father's body myself. It was the only thing left I could do for him. After that...I needed something to do. This seemed to be the best place at the time.

Damien: Right. Working for terrorists who wiped out our entire company. I guess you're colder than I thought.

Boss: [quietly] Saving my life isn't the only reason I work for them. I'm...I'm a cyborg.

Damien: I already knew th-

Boss: No, I mean after the fight with them.

[Pictures of Boss' unconscious form being operated on appear. Significant portions of his body are replaced with cybernetics.]

Boss: My body was a lost cause, so they made me a mechanical replacement. Chucked my old cyberlimbs in favor of new ones.

Damien: Able to bend steel bars with your bare hands?

Boss: [smiling thinly] Nothing so impressive.

Damien: Too bad. What's that got to do with working for them?

[Boss doesn't reply as the flashbacks end. Damien stares at him for a while then decides he is not going to answer. The group enters a huge power generator room. A massive cylindrical reactor dominates the room and is apparently the primary power source for the entire complex.]

Damien: [mildly impressed] Nice. Fusion?

Boss: Yep. With full shielding. Keeps it hidden from scans.

Damien: That plus all this rock in this mountain and the Feld Desert around you must keep you pretty well hidden.

Boss: Strong defensively too.

Damien: Except against the big guns.

Boss: That goes without saying. All the more reason to stay hidden.

Damien: What's next?

[The group goes to a large auditorium with a podium in the middle of the stage.]

Damien: Show any good movies lately? Or is this where the propaganda rallies are held?

Boss: Nothing so simplistic. We try to be more intelligent.

Damien: Hold poetry readings or something?

Boss: [sighing] Damien, I realize this is hard to believe, but we DO have good motives for our actions. I wish you'd understand.

Damien: The ends justify the means? Not bloody likely.

Boss: Listen-

Damien: [snapping] No, you listen! I don't care if you're trying to save us from an invisible tyranny and I don't care if God visits you at night and tells you what to do! No motive is good enough to allow any group to so casually slaughter people!

[As Damien talks, flashbacks appear to emphasize his monologue, scenes of the aftermath of various Disciples' "activities" with Damien and his team cleaning up after them.]

Damien: [angrily] Do you know what it's like to stuff a man in a bag and then have to explain to a six year old why her father isn't coming home?! Or to have to tell a mother why I can't find her son's head?! Do you have any conception what it's like to watch people's lives, and all their hopes and dreams and fears and everything they give a damn about, evaporate and dissipate like steam?! [takes a moment to rein himself in]

Boss: Damien, I know it seems brutal and extreme, but it's necessary.

Damien: [upset] Necessary? For what? Population control?

Boss: Damien-

Damien: [waving him away] Spare me the recruiting slogan bullshit. I heard it all from Jackson and wasn't impressed. [intensely] What's happened to you, Boss? Don't you care anymore? You were a lot of things. Cold-blooded didn't use to be one of them.

[Boss turns away and looks down, clenching the back of a chair, and does not answer. Damien stares at his back then averts his gaze.]

Damien: [softly] Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you're dead after all.

Boss: Take him away.

Robinson: Where to, Boss?

Boss: I don't care! Just...just take him away.

[Robinson is both shocked and worried about Boss' outburst, but instead leads Damien away, who looks over his shoulder at Boss' bent back. Boss' hands are trembling on the chair as they leave. There is the sound of plastic cracking as he crushes the part of the chair he is holding on to.]

Boss: [muttering] Shit.

[Switch to a view of Yuri's face. She is just beginning to stir awake.]

Yuri: [muttering] Lay off the hammer, pal.

[She blinks, shakes her head, and looks around. She realizes she has been manacled spread-eagle to a wall in a prison cell. Kei is opposite her, also manacled to the wall, and just starting to revive as well.]

Yuri: Kei. C'mon, wake up.

Kei: [mumbling sleepily] Awright, who spiked the punch? Could kill the-

Yuri: Kei!

Kei: Huh? [blinks awake] Yuri! What the-?! [realizes she's manacled] Wonderful. [wryly] So. Got an escape plan yet?

Yuri: Me? What's wrong with your brain?

Kei: I think someone soaked it in formaldehyde.

Yuri: Yeah, well, mine's kind of pickled right now too.

Kei: Are we in trouble?

Yuri: Definitely. Although we do have an ace or two up our sleeves.

Kei: [smiling faintly] We don't have any sleeves.

Yuri: You know what I mean.

Kei: What, Damien? He's probably the one who set off the alarm.

Yuri: True, but still...

Kei: We'll see. So what do you think they want with us?

Yuri: Kinda surprised they didn't kill us myself. Not that I'm complaining or anything. All I can imagine is that they want to interrogate us.

Kei: Probably too much to hope they'll just let us go, isn't it?

Yuri: Yup.

Kei: Guess we gotta figure out a way to escape then.

Yuri: Any suggestions?

Kei: These manacles definitely have to go first.

Yuri: They are a bit tight, aren't they?

[The door opens and Boss enters, followed by a man in a lab coat pushing a cart laden with exotic electronic equipment.]

Boss: They're that way for a reason, ladies. [bowing] My apologies for the accomodations, but if it's any consolation, it's because we're paranoid about you two on the loose.

Kei: [angrily] Hey, pal, do you have any idea who you're messing with?

Boss: Yes I do. You are the 3WA trouble consultants code-named Lovely Angels, more..."popularly" known as-

Kei & Yuri: Don't say it!

Boss: [inclining his head] As you wish. [turning his head around] Are you ready, doctor?

Doctor: [fiddling with controls] Almost, Boss. If you'd put on the helmets for me, I'd appreciate it.

Boss: No problem.

[Boss picks up two unusual helmets off the cart, trailing cables. Kei and Yuri's eyes go wide with surprise and a bit of fear.]

Yuri: [incredulous] That's-

Boss: Yes. It's a mind-probe, ladies. [puts the helmet on Yuri's head] I'm truly sorry about this, but duty demands.

Kei: Where the hell did you get those? They've been banned for over ten years!

Boss: A good magician never gives away his secrets. Likewise a good soldier never gives away his. [puts the other helmet on Kei's head] A word of advice. Don't resist the probe. It's much less painful that way. Your brains might even survive. Doctor?

Doctor: All yours, Boss. You know how to use it. [leaves]

[Boss examines the controls as Kei and Yuri stare at each other mutely. He picks up two syringes and gives each of the Pair an injection. He hesitates for a moment to look at the Pair one more time, then activates the probes. The Pair's faces go blank and they stare pointlessly with unseeing eyes. Boss turns around and leaves. Outside the commander is waiting, her arms folded across her chest. A guard is nearby.]

Boss: Probes on, ma'am. Should have something in an hour or two.

Woman: Good. Bring Damien to the PIT.

Boss: [salutes] Yes, ma'am.

[The commander leaves.]

Boss: [to the guard] Take the equipment back to the lab when the probe's done.

Guard: OK, Boss.

[Boss frowns worriedly, staring at the commander's retreating back, and shakes his head as he leaves in a different direction. Later, Damien is led by Boss and some guards into a small room, this time in just his underwear, and is secured into what looks ominously like an electric chair. Another door opens and the commander strides in.]

Woman: Dismissed. I'd like to speak with Damien for a moment privately. I'll handle it myself from here.

[Boss nods and turns around. He and Damien lock gazes for a moment, then Boss walks past Damien and leaves. Damien watches him and the guards go before looking back at the woman as the door slides shut.]

Damien: [smiling wryly] Must not get out enough, do you, Prime Minister? Or do you prefer Ms. Nelson?

Nelson: [smiling thinly] According to the latest polls, Frank Drebbin is officially Vanaheim's prime minister, so that makes me just Ms. Nelson. I'm surprised you recognized me, Damien. Most people aren't aware of what I look like out of office.

Damien: I guess I'm one of the privileged few who knows what you look like when you're trying to go incognito. And around here I'd imagine you want to be as incognito as possible. It would be bad for morale if they ever found out their commander is also supposed to be their enemy.

Nelson: You're taking this in stride, Mr. Damien. Most people would probably be quite shocked.

Damien: I avoid playing with electricity nowadays. You're the one playing a dangerous game, Ms. Nelson.

Nelson: [smirking] It makes it more interesting, don't you think?

Damien: Straddling the fence may let you go into whichever field you want, but it's going to hurt when the two herds come head-on. That fence will make a damn lousy barricade against a stampede.

Nelson: Which is why I make sure both herds are as tame and docile as possible. What seperates the cowboys from the cowpokes, you might say.

Damien: I might. [smiling wryly] So is this the point where we swap stories?

Nelson: How do you mean?

Damien: You probably want to know just how much I have figured out about your little operation and I'm just dying to fill in the gaps.

Nelson: Very well. I wouldn't want your curiosity to go unsatisfied.

Damien: Ladies first.

Nelson: You're the guest. I insist you go first.

Damien: [smiling] Since you put it that way, how can I resist? [seriously] It was pretty obvious the Disciples were political terrorists from the beginning. What I couldn't figure out was what you wanted. You made no demands, never once contacted the media, and it was pure luck we learned your group's name from a dying Disciple. You were a remarkably quiet group and I was uncertain about your motives. After interrogating Jackson and raiding your bar's base-of-operations we knew you actively recruited people down on their luck and appeared to be out for the "betterment of mankind" and all that, but I still didn't see how. It didn't occur to me until I saw your "opponent" Drebbin on TV when he mentioned the Disciples by name. But virtually no one should know your group's name. We had deliberately withheld it from the media. It wasn't even entered in our computer records to make sure any potential hackers couldn't find it either. So where did he learn it from? Unless there was a leak in our security, and I'm pretty certain there wasn't, he must have learned it from the Disciples themselves. Since the Disciples had never revealed their name to any other victims, that meant Drebbin was one of you. THAT'S when I realized that the Disciples already had true political power, that they played both ends of the game, rather than just having sympathizers to your cause scattered about. You're not terrorists, you're political tools. Those seemingly random killings and bombings weren't just senseless violence, they were assassinations. And I'm willing to bet you brainwashed your kidnapping victims too. Plus the Disciples are a great election topic. As long as the Disciples are in action, it gives people like Drebbin a chance to hammer on the incumbents' failures. More so than usual, that is.

Nelson: A remarkable combination of deductive and intuitive reasoning. How blessed you must feel to know you're right. By now most politicians in the capital are either secretly working with the Disciples or have been brainwashed by them. The remainder are incosequential for the most part. Now that the election is over, the Disciples will fade into the background, "proving" the new administration's capabilities.

Damien: How fortunate the majority of voters are gullible.

Nelson: [smiling] Isn't it, though?

Damien: Your insiders enable you to get away with a lot, like building this base with no one the wiser. Of course, you must have assistance from the business sector as well. Supplies, deliveries, maybe even potential recruits are generated by businesses on your side.

Nelson: "On my side" is a bit extreme. There are always people willing to do anything for money and keep quiet about it. But we do have allies. All working with ulterior motives in mind, of course, but allies nonetheless. And you're right again, some of these businesses do fire people who we then pick up. I've managed to accumulate quite a substantial power base on both sides.

Damien: What I want to know is why.

Nelson: The Disciples provide me with power that politicians don't. Politicians can be conned, cajoled, bribed, seduced, blackmailed, and maneuvered, but they seldom respond to orders the way the Disciples do. Convince them it's for the "greater good," they'll do anything. The continuous use of verbal suggestions, subliminal messages, and sandsnake venom extract helps make them even more controllable. By using both the Disciples and politicians, I can accomplish virtually anything, while pitting them against each other makes sure that no one becomes powerful enough to threaten me. It's much easier to win a game if you're playing both sides.

Damien: No, I mean, why do you want so much power? I've never understood its appeal.

Nelson: [pauses] Power has often been called a drug. If so, then I'm probably an addict. There's a certain indescribable headiness that comes from it. The knowledge of just how much more you can do than other people, the ability to put your thoughts and desires into action... [shakes her head] I'm sorry, I can't adequately describe its appeal. Why do you ask?

Damien: Because I want to understand. You can do a lot with power, but it doesn't do anything for you. Power doesn't bandage your wounds, it doesn't teach you how to survive on your own, it doesn't advise and counsel you, it doesn't save your life when you've gotten in over your head, it doesn't do a lot of things. That's what friends are for.

Nelson: I assume this monologue has a point.

Damien: [quietly] Boss was my best friend, mentor, big brother, and father rolled into one for over ten years. I don't know who the bloody hell that was that brought me in here. You've taken someone very important to me and transformed him into something I don't even recognize anymore, all in pursuit of your power. For what you've done to him I intend to take you and your organization and raze it to the ground.

[Damien and Nelson lock gazes and for a moment she wilts beneath his determined stare, then quickly recovers and looks bemused.]

Nelson: Touching. But you're hardly in a position to make threats against me.

Damien: Did you brainwash him like the rest of your zombie army?

Nelson: Oh not at all. He is well aware of all my scheming and follows of his own free will. Well, more or less. You see, when we reconstructed him as a cyborg, I also inserted something in his new body to guarantee his loyalty to me. If he even thinks of betraying me, he experiences mental pain. The stronger the thought, the stronger the pain. If he actually does betray me, his internal nuclear power source detonates like a bomb. Survival instincts are strong enough in him that he hasn't willingly committed suicide yet.

Damien: You've locked him in that shell and left him no way out. You should've just let him die human.

Nelson: Hardly. After all, I did need to mindprobe him at the time to learn all about your father's imminent arrival. I've never fully assessed the damage to his mind, but it did seem to rob him of his willpower. [gestures, activating a wallscreen to show Kei and Yuri in their cell] It will be interesting to see how it affects your acquaintances.

[Damien loses his calm finally and strains at his bonds, scowling furiously. Nelson chuckles.]

Damien: [with quiet anger] You should kill me while you still have the chance.

Nelson: [smirking] More threats? [picks up a syringe off a table] A touching show of devotion, but futile. [puts the syringe in Damien's arm] I was going to kill you at first, but I've changed my mind. [withdraws the syringe] I've decided to enlist you instead. Isn't that wonderful?

Damien: I'd rather die.

Nelson: What? [puts a helmet on Damien's head] And lose a chance to revenge yourself upon me? Although the act of betraying me will cost you your life, so you can do both at once, since all nubies are given psychochem suicide triggers. Plus you're getting the chance to experience first-hand my brainwashing technique, or psychological indoctrination therapy as we like to call it. [turns off the viewscreen] Wouldn't want that to distract you. Goodbye, Damien. When we meet again, I expect you to address me as "ma'am." [leaves]

Damien: [muttering] In your dreams. [thinking] HAL better have been right about this, or I'm in trouble.

[The brainwashing machine is turned on, making interesting sounds, and Damien's face is locked in a stony rigor. In the Pair's cell, the guard enters to check the machine. He nods in satisfaction and turns it off. He approaches Yuri to take off the helmet. Suddenly, she slips her feet out of her boots and locks her legs around the guard's neck.]

Yuri: [hissing] Undo the wrist manacles or I'll break your neck.

[The guard, his eyes bulging, gulps and nods. He takes a keycard and slides it through a scanner on each manacle, opening them. Yuri drops down on the ground, sweating. The guard goes for his baton but Yuri kicks him unconscious first.]

Yuri: [tossing the helmet aside] Thanks. [picks up the card and frees Kei] C'mon, Kei, wake up. [takes off Kei's helmet]

[Kei's eyes open slowly and she looks around groggily, Yuri supporting her.]

Kei: [weakly] Yuri? What's happening?

Yuri: We're escaping. Or did you want to stick around instead?

Kei: [standing on her own] Hell no. But how did you-?

Yuri: [grinning] The advantages of being thin.

Kei: Hey, are you trying to imply something by that comment?

Yuri: [taking the guard's baton] Would I try to imply you need a diet or something? [tosses the guard's gun at Kei]

Kei: I know you would. [examines the gun] Not bad. Spare clips?

Yuri: One. [tosses the clip towards Kei]

[Kei puts the guard in the wall manacles - upside down - while Yuri examines the mindprobe machine.]

Kei: Good enough.

Yuri: [muttering] This is weird.

Kei: What?

Yuri: I'm not sure if I'm reading these controls right, but it looks like the probe was set for either its highest or its lowest setting. Considering the fact we're not drooling vegetables right now-

Kei: It probably means it's the lowest. But why would they set it that low? Do you think Boss...

[The Pair look at each other for a moment, surprised.]

Yuri: Well, at least it gives us a chance to get out of here.

Kei: So what's the plan?

Yuri: We find Damien and we blast out of here, hopefully destroying this base in the process.

Kei: I think you're succumbing to your media image, Yuri.

Yuri: Then that'll make both of us.

Kei: VERY funny. Where do you think they've got our stuff?

Yuri: Beats me. Let's find a terminal and I should be able to locate everything we need. [pensively] Just hope it's in place...

Kei: What?

Yuri: [smiling] Damien isn't the only one who likes surprises.

[Kei looks annoyed as they open the door and sneak out. They furtively slip past or avoid other Disciples. They eventually knock out two passing female Disciple technicians, dragging them into a storage room and emerging with their uniforms. They make their way to a unoccupied terminal in another large office. Yuri jacks in while Kei stands watch. Kei notices Boss passing by and there is a tense moment as it looks like he was going to come towards them but continues on instead. Kei breathes a sigh of relief just as Yuri jacks out, giving the thumbs-up. They go to another storage room. Kei distracts the guard while Yuri brains him. They use his keycard to open the door and go inside, dragging him. The Pair find their weapons and other equipment. Smiling, they put their stuff in a bag and carry them out.]

Yuri: [quietly] Strange, though. Damien's stuff should've been there too.

Kei: Maybe they moved it. Know where he is?

[Yuri nods as they eventually make it to a room. They open the door and see Damien lying on a bunk. They enter - activating a trap which drops them through the floor. The Pair are so startled their bag of equipment gets left behind and is swallowed by a panel in the wall. The trap doors close just as Damien stirs.]

Damien: Huh? Who-? [thinking] What's that smell?

[The door opens again and Boss and Nelson walk in. Boss is carrying Damien's gear. Damien jumps out of bed, saluting. He looks down as if realizing for the first time he is in only his underwear.]

Damien: [blushing] Ma'am, I-

Nelson: [smiling] At ease, Damien. Sorry to barge in but I have an important assignment for you.

[Damien takes his clothes from Boss and gets dressed.]

Damien: What is it, ma'am?

Nelson: A rather unpleasant one this time.

[A wallscreen activates, showing the Pair's pictures. Damien frowns, as if trying to recognize them, while suiting up in all his equipment.]

Nelson: These two 3WA agents are in the underground reserve. I want you to terminate them. By yourself.

Damien: Wouldn't a full team be better?

Nelson: These two are extremely resourceful and dangerous. I feel you would have a better chance of killing them on your own than a full fledged assualt team would. You're much better at stealthy missions than most, which I feel is essential to killing them.

Damien: [shrugging] If you say so, ma'am. I'll take care of them.

Nelson: [smiling sinisterly] Excellent.

SCENE 15

[Damien is in a small, rough-hewn cave, examining and preparing his equipment on a table. A massive steel door is at one end, with an ordinary door on the other. A female Disciple technican is nearby, using a wallscreen, which looks out of place in a cave, to explain the situation inside the underground reserve to Damien. The reserve is actually a incredibly large underground cavern filled with various lifeforms, primarily plants, like the underground cavern in Star Trek II. There is a large natural lake, a forest, a farming section, even a small recreational area. Numerous tunnels, like the one they are in, lead to the reserve, according to the map displayed on the wallscreen.]

Technician: All the other entrances have been sealed, sir. Once you go through this one [pointing at the steel door], we'll lock it too. We don't think the TCs have anything on them that can punch through them, so it'll be just you and them. No backup, as you requested, sir.

Damien: [nodding] Good. [smiling and winking] And call me Damien. I hate ranks. [shouldering his holster] I can never keep `em straight.

Technician: [blushing slightly] Yes, s- Damien.

[Boss enters, carrying a bag over his shoulder, the same bag the Pair had earlier, while the technician has apparently succumbed to Damien's charm. {Hey, how come that never happens to me!?} <Cuz you're an uncouth jerk.> {Oh yeah...}]

Damien: [putting on his sword] Hey, Boss. Come to wish me luck?

Boss: Luck? [smiling] You're chasing two gorgeous women, and you want my luck? Get real! You can have my envy instead.

Damien: [emotionally] Alas, I regret I can but sacrifice myself once for the cause. [chuckles] Or something like that. [putting on his jacket] Damn shame, having to kill two such lovely young ladies.

Boss: [with mock surprise] My god, you're a man after all!

Damien: Blow it out your ear, too. [shrugging] But orders are orders.

Boss: [seriously] Be careful in there. These two may not look it, but they're extremely dangerous.

Damien: [examining his gun] So'm I.

Boss: [in a warning tone] Don't get cocky! You'll just get yourself screwed over!

Damien: [joyously] Really!?! This could be better than I thought!

[Boss grabs Damien in a headlock and starts choking him.]

Boss: You idiot! That's not what I meant!

Damien: [gasping] Right! Right! I'll be careful, now leggo!

[Boss lets go and Damien gets up, rubbing his throat and rolling his neck. The technician giggles, making Damien glare at her momentarily. She stops laughing and tries to cover up her smile. Damien turns back on Boss, recovering his demeanor and holstering his gun.]

Damien: Now you're embarassing me in front of subordinates too.

Boss: Aww, you need to be taken down a peg or two every once in a while anyways.

Damien: Yeah, but do you always have to do it in front of someone I might want to date?

Boss: You have enough luck as is. Save some for the rest of us. In fact, if anything, I'm just evening the odds so the rest of us schmucks have a chance.

Damien: [with mock indignity] Why sir, you offend my honor! You make it sound like I'm some...some uncontrollable, drooling, lecherous animal!

Boss: [smirking] Nonsense, I never once implied you drool.

Damien: [relieved] Oh, well then, that's alright then.

[Boss and Damien laugh uncontrollably, the technician joining in hesitantly, evidently slightly embarassed. Eventually they stop, gasping. Boss looks sad for just a moment, startling Damien.]

Boss: [softly] So you're actually going to do it.

Damien: [surprised and confused] Huh?!

Boss: [louder] Nothing, never mind. [brightening up] Try not to take too long, it's your turn to buy the beers.

Damien: [angrily] What?! You're kidding! I distinctly remember YOU stiffing me with the bill last time!

Boss: [crossing his arms] Hah! [looking away] Anyways, I've got more rank.

Damien: Ohhh, fall back on that one! You wimp!

Boss: [turning back on Damien] Wimp?! I can still wrestle your face into the turf, boy! Any time of day you're ready!

Damien: [nonchalantly] Sure, sure, old man, maybe later, but I think I better go back to work now. [smirking] Listen, try not to cop a cheap feel off the nurses too often when they're wheeling you around.

[Boss looks like he's at the breaking point, his fingers twitching, while Damien just smirks and the technician laughs then shuts up quickly. Boss regains control of himself, coughing. He holds out the bag to Damien.]

Boss: Some stuff you might want.

Damien: [taking the bag] Whatever happened to toughing it out, just man against nature, going back to the basics, stuff like that? Don't tell me you've giving in and gone civilized!

Boss: Idiot! That's not what it's for! It's for dealing with the TCs!

[The technician punches in a code, opening the steel door, while Damien shoulders the pack. Light streams in through the open door, as if it was outdoors and not underground. He leaves, smiling and saluting nonchalantly, the technician waving back, just as Robinson enters from the other door.]

Technician: [slightly concerned] He'll be alright, won't he, Boss?

Boss: [smiling] Don't tell me you've fallen for him already!

Technician: [flustered] No...not really...I just...uhhh...

Boss: [laughing] Don't worry, you're not the first! And he'll be alright. You'll see. [almost sadly] You'll see.

[The technician punches in another code. Boss is leaving, hands in pockets, and walks past Robinson as the door is closing.]

Robinson: Morning, Boss.

Boss: [quietly] So it is.

[Robinson stops, startled by Boss' seeming depression, and watches his retreating back as the door shuts closed with an ominous sound. Cut to the Pair, still in their stolen uniforms, lying face down in what looks like a clearing in a forest. Sunlight appears to stream down on them through the trees. Birds are chirping in this peaceful woodland scene. Kei stirs and sits up, rubbing her head and looking around her, surprised at the change in setting. She nudges Yuri until she wakes up and sits up as well. The two of them examine their surroundings, confused. They look up almost simultaneously and see, instead of the sky, the ceiling of the cavern far overhead. They also notice metal collars around their necks that refuse to be removed.]

Kei: What the hell is this?

Yuri: It's called a forest, Kei.

Kei: [shouting angrily] I can see that, you idiot! I mean, what the hell's it doing underground?! And it was a rhetorical question!

Yuri: [fingering her collar] I'm more worried about this thing.

Kei: Not my idea of fashionable jewelry either.

Nelson's voice: Impressive, isn't it?

[The Pair whirl to look at the source of the new voice. Nelson is standing in front of a tree, one hand on her hip and an arrogant smile on her lips.]

Nelson: It's a underground reserve. We use it, for recreation, woodland survival training, food production, just about anything that requires green growing things and a decent dose of sunshine. The lighting is artifical, of course, but on a standard Vanaheim day-night cycle. The sunrises and sunsets here are almost as good as the real thing.

Kei: Who the hell are you?

Nelson: Oh, forgive my rudeness. [bowing her head slightly] I'm Leslie Nelson, former Prime Minister of Vanaheim and leader of the Disciples.

Kei: [smiling] That's all I wanted to know.

[Yelling, Kei jumps to her feet and charges Nelson. Yuri holds out an arm to stop her but misses while Nelson just watches Kei with amusement.]

Yuri: Kei, wait! She's just-

[Kei passes right through Nelson and smashes head-first into the tree. She slides to the ground, stunned. Yuri covers her face with one hand while Nelson just chuckles.]

Yuri: -a hologram.

Nelson: Really, I expected more from you than that. Considering how much trouble you've given me in the last few days, that seemed almost...childish.

[Kei stands slowly, using the tree for support, rubbing her head and grimacing, definitely NOT pleased. Nelson watches her, amused.]

Kei: Laugh while you can, because we're going to get you in the end.

Nelson: You know, your associate said much the same thing. You people are really all the same, aren't you?

[The Pair are startled by her mention of Damien and slowly reach for their weapons.]

Yuri: [angrily] What have you done with him?

Kei: Tell us, or I swear I'll-

Nelson: You'll what? You don't even have the weapons you stole anymore.

[The Pair suddenly realize she's telling the truth as their fingers make little twitching motions where their weapons should be.]

Nelson: Not that you could harm a hologram with them, anyways. [smiling] No, I doubt you two will be able to accomplish much of anything anymore. You've been sealed into this cavern. You lack anything that could possibly help get you out. And you won't find it anywhere in here. You're stuck in here until I decide you should be allowed out.

Kei: Why are you telling us this?

Yuri: And why didn't you just kill us outright?

Nelson: I've decided to make you two part of a training session. I have already dispatched someone to kill you. It seemed only fair to warn you, since he's armed and you aren't. Oh, and about the collars. They monitor your vital signs and report your locations to me at all times. And, on the off chance my assassin fails to kill you, I can just detonate the explosives inside them and blow your heads off. So you see, either way you two will die and no longer bother me or my organization again. [smirking] Goodbye, ladies. I believe this is the last time we will ever met.

[Nelson's hologram slowly fades out, chuckling malignly. As she fades, Cheshire Cat-like, her laugh hangs ominously in the air. The Pair watch, hands and teeth clenched, making soft, inarticulate noises, both very angry yet unable to do anything. Finally it disappears with only a hint of the laugh still echoing.]

Kei: [muttering] Shit.

[In her office, Nelson, still chuckling, sits down behind her desk. She straightens her clothes slightly and stops laughing. She looks up at Boss who is standing in front of her desk, waiting expectantly.]

Nelson: Report.

Boss: Damien has been dispatched, ma'am. All other doors into the reserve have been sealed.

Nelson: Excellent. How does he seem to be responding?

Boss: The PIT seems to have taken effect. No sign of any hesitancy on his part. He's eager for action. I think he's ours.

Nelson: [smiling briefly] Wonderful. Do you think he's a match for the Pair?

Boss: [smiling slightly] Assuming the boy doesn't get too overconfident and the Pair don't have any guns, I think so.

Nelson: Any idea how long it will take him?

Boss: Mostly depends on how soon he can find them, as well as how he wants to take them out. Probably a day or two at least. [somberly] Request permission to speak candidly.

Nelson: Granted.

Boss: I don't think warning the Pair was a good idea, ma'am. Damien's good, but the Pair are still good enough that he can use every edge he can get.

Nelson: [waving a hand negligently] They would've assumed someone was coming anyway.

Boss: Yes, ma'am, they would've. But the tactics used are a lot different if you know how many people are attacking.

Nelson: Assuming they believe me. After all, I'm their enemy. They have no reason to take my word for granted.

Boss: True enough. Were you trying to throw them off-balance?

Nelson: [smiling] I'm a politician. I'm supposed to keep my opponents off-guard through trickery and deceit. Turning them against one another is just part of the job.

Boss: If you say so, ma'am.

Nelson: I do. Dismissed.

Boss: [saluting] Yes, ma'am.

[Boss leaves. As he walks through corridors, he scowls, upset. He stops and leans his back against a walk, a fist tightly clenched against his chest, his eyes closed. Robinson is approaching from a distance. Suddenly Boss' fist swings out and slams against the wall. Robinson is startled and almost jumps back. Boss opens his eyes and looks at Robinson, locking gazes with him, then heads off in the other direction. Robinson is confused, and looks at both Boss and the small dent he made in the wall with his fist.]

Robinson: [thinking] What's wrong with him?

[Damien is walking through a field away from the door, smiling and admiring the scenery. A group of startled butterflies rush up from the ground nearby and circle his head once before flying away. He unzips his jacket and takes a deep breath. Later he finds a large boulder in the middle of the field and sits down on it. He sets the bag next to him.]

Damien: Too bad there's no breeze. [opening the bag] Let's see what Boss packed for me. [gasps, startled] This is- [takes out Yuri's gun] This is theirs, isn't it? [takes out Kei's gun]

[Damien unpacks the contents of the bag and sets them next to him. He examines a grenade belt, still baffled and uncertain.]

Damien: But why...

[Damien looks up, as if to see through the rocks. Boss is lying down again in his bunk, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.]

Damien: Boss...

[Damien looks down at the Pair's equipment again. He fiddles with one of their belt pouches, only to have one of their fog pellets go off in his face. Almost instantly he is shrouded in white mist, blinking haplessly in its midst. Fortunately it dissipates quickly, but leaves a light coating of white dust on everything nearby, including Damien.]

Damien: [wiping his face] Maybe I shouldn't fool around with their stuff. [repacks the bag] Next time I'll probably kill myself.

[Damien stands up and shoulders the bag again, shaking his head and dusting himself off. He surveys the landscape, looking around in all directions.]

Damien: Now, where am I going find them? They're definitely going to be expecting someone to come after them. Now if I was a Lovely Angel, where would I-

[A slow smile creeps across Damien's face. Snapping his fingers, he leaves, heading towards the forest. Meanwhile, the Pair are busy fashioning crude spears with wood and stone. A pile of them sits between them. Kei gives herself a splinter and jumps to her feet, hopping around in pain and trying not to scream out. Yuri giggles and helps Kei remove it, who starts sucking the wounded appendage.]

Kei: [still sucking] Ow! I hate this! And I still haven't gotten to take a shower yet!

Yuri: [smiling] So that's what stinks! I thought maybe there was a decaying carcass around or something.

Kei: [icily] You're not exactly a bed of roses right now yourself. Hell, you're not exactly a bed of rotting mulch!

[The Pair square off and glare at each other, looking ready to come to blows, then suddenly burst out laughing on the ground. They stop, wiping away their tears, and get back to work.]

Yuri: [concerned] What do you think they've done to Damien?

Kei: [with feigned surprise] Such concern! Goodness, Yuri, you're not falling in love with him or something?

Yuri: [looking askance at Kei] You mean to tell me you haven't?

[The Pair sigh and look dejected for a moment, staring at the ground.]

Kei: Think they've killed him?

Yuri: Probably not, seeing as how they haven't killed us. [pensively] But I wonder why.

Kei: [angrily] It's because that Nelson bitch wants to screw around with us. Miserable - when I get my hands on her, I'll - [makes wringing motions with her hands] - ohhh, she - that - ohhhh!

Yuri: Me too. [pensively] She said she used to be Prime Minister.

Kei: Yeah, so?

Yuri: Well, what's the Prime Minister of the planet doing leading a bunch of terrorists? It's weird! She's supposed to be against them!

Kei: Yeah, that is a bit odd. But right now I want to survive this assassin of hers.

Yuri: Do you really think she's sending only one person? Sounds pretty overconfident of her, to me. I'd think she'd send an entire squad for this "training session" of hers.

Kei: Maybe it's a test for her assassin. Or it could be she's lying. Who knows? Either way, someone's bound to come after us eventually. I think she wants to play some cat-and-mouse before finishing us off. [pointing to her collar] Then there are still these things.

Yuri: [fiddling with her collar] Miniature tracker, some sensors, a radio detonator, definitely an old slave-collar. They sure have a lot of nasty banned equipment around here.

Kei: [shuddering] Ugh. Don't remind me about that mind-probe. It was like some slimy tentacle burrowing inside my head...

Yuri: I know. [sticks her tongue out] Pretty gross. But why was it on such a low setting? They aren't going to get anything truly useful that way.

Kei: I dunno. Maybe that's all they wanted to know. Maybe they wanted to make sure we were still intact for this game of theirs. Maybe that bitch is just a sadist. Who cares right now? [sets aside a spear] All done. You?

Yuri: [nodding] Yeah. You set these up, I'll take a look around.

[The Pair split up, Yuri climbing a nearby tree and Kei walking off with the spears. Yuri reaches the top and balances precariously. She almost falls, but after much arm flailing, manages to stay on top. She hoods her eyes and scans the area. The forest is small but quite dense with a thick roof of treetops, with a thin but tall rocky mount in the center. Nearby is the meadow which Damien was in. A lake dominates the center of the cavern, and on the far side of that is the farming area and a small beach and "resort," part of the recreation area. The domed stone ceiling high above adds to the unusual nature of the place. Kei is busy setting up traps, using the spears and natural vines, tying back branches to swing into attackers, setting up nooses on the ground, etc. After finishing she goes back and finds Yuri who has also been setting up traps. The two sink to the ground, tired.]

Kei: When was the last time we had something to eat?

Yuri: When was the last time we got some real sleep?

Kei: Beats me.

Yuri: Same here. [lies down] You get first watch. [falls asleep]

Kei: What?! That's not fair, I- Hmph! Out already!

[Disgruntled, Kei sets about sharpening a spear, sighing. Meanwhile Damien has entered the forest and is proceeding silently, alert. He periodically stops to examine the ground, searching for clues.]

Damien: [thinking] Where are they? Come to think of it, how did they get in here? Nobody bothered to tell which entrance they used. [knocks himself on the head] That's for not asking. [sits down beside a tree] Now what? [takes out a canteen] Gotta be around somewhere. [drinks] I thought they'd head for the lake to take a bath right off the bat, but no sign of them there. [puts the canteen away] Oh well. [gets up] I'll stumble on them eventually. [continues walking]

[As if on cue, Damien hits a trip wire. He glances back at his foot, then at the branch swinging at him, studded with spears. He barely ducks and rolls under it. As he get up in a crouch, he steps in a noose trap and is hoisted into the air, yelling in surprise and dropping the bag. Kei, hearing his cry, jumps to her feet and grabs her spear. She kicks Yuri's sleeping form and, without waiting for her to wake up, takes off. Damien is dangling upside down by one foot.]

Damien: [pulling out his sword] Hoisted like some greenie. [grabs and cuts the vine] I feel like an idiot. [drops to his feet]

[Damien picks up the bag again just as Kei enters, spear out.]

Kei: [surprised] Damien?! [joyously] What are-?!

[Damien hurls his sword past Kei's head, disrupting her hair as it passes her head and imbedding in another tree. Kei is too stunned to do anything as Damien whips out his gun.]

Kei: Wha-?

[This time Kei dodges, although barely, as Damien fires, hitting a tree instead again. Kei scrambles off into the underbrush on all fours, looking helplessly confused, as Damien fires once more. As soon as Kei disappears, he stares at his gun in surprise, confusion, and horror, his hand shaking.]

Damien: [to himself] I almost- [raps himself lightly on the head with the gun] Idiot. Think next time.

[Damien retrieves his sword, sheathes it, then climbs a nearby tree. Kei bursts from the foliage into the Pair's camp only to see Yuri still sleeping. Kei runs up to her and pokes her with the butt of her spear. Yuri just rolls over.]

Kei: [screaming in Yuri's ear] YUUUUURIIIII!!!

[Yuri jumps up, knocking into Kei's jaw, finally awake.]

Yuri: [massaging her head] Ow! What the hell was-

Kei: [rubbing her jaw] Shut up! We gotta go! Damien-

Yuri: [happily] Damien's here?! Where?

Damien: Over here.

[The Pair turn - Yuri in joy, Kei in fright - to look at Damien, smiling, sitting high up in a tree with his gun aimed at them. Kei knocks Yuri over, who was about to say something, as Damien fires, missing again. Yuri, finally catching on, grabs a spear and dives for cover with Kei. Damien shakes his head, holding it in his hand.]

Damien: This isn't working quite the way I'd hoped it would.

[Damien leaps out of the tree, only to be scooped by a net trap. He dangles, all bundled up, from the trees with a disgruntled look on his face. The Pair are charging through the forest away from the clearing. They stop for breath against a tree, gasping and clutching their spears.]

Yuri: What the hell's wrong with him?

Kei: How should I know? Maybe he's decided he doesn't like women anymore. Or maybe he's been a traitor all along.

Yuri: Him? I don't think so. [pauses as she realizes something] Oh God, Kei, you don't suppose they've...brainwashed him?

Kei: Brainwashing? I thought brainwashing couldn't overcome a sufficiently strong mind, or something like that. He seems pretty strong-willed to me.

Yuri: Yeah, usually, but they got to his friend, Boss, before, right? Maybe they did the same thing to him. If they've got mind-probes and slave-collars who knows what else they have?

Kei: Good point. Of course, more important right now is how do we stop him. We can figure out why he's trying to kill us later.

Yuri: [slowly] Do we have to kill him?

[Yuri thinks about a scene in the desert and hears herself again.]

Yuri's voice from before: [casually] Just out of curiosity, if it came down to saving us or yourself, who would you favor?

[Kei pauses to think and remembers Damien's response from then.]

Damien's voice from before: [pauses] Who would you?

Kei: [quietly] Do we have a choice?

Yuri: [upset] But...he's...maybe he's not doing it voluntarily.

Kei: I know, but...how are we going to stop him otherwise? He's good. And as long as he has a gun and we don't, it's going to be a lot more difficult and dangerous to subdue him. And even if we can, we don't know if we can undo the damage. Remember that guy Jackson? They could've put the same sort of suicide trigger in his brain too. Plus there's no guarantee he wasn't one of them from the very beginning and has just been jerking us around all this time.

Yuri: [sniffing] I hate this.

Kei: [smiling bitterly] That's my line.

[The Pair stare quietly at one another, uncertain in their dilemma. Their reverie is interrupted by another gunshot. They spin to see Damien aiming at them again. The Pair dive for cover, pushing their way through the foliage, and Damien pursues relentlessly. While tumbling through a thicket, Kei loses most of her stolen shirt, revealing her uniform underneath. Damien finds the shirt's remains, having apparently lost the Pair, scanning the area slowly. He smells the shirt, frowning in concentration, as if trying to place some odor on it. He stops suddenly, looking surprised, evidently having just made some sort of revelation.]

Damien: [thinking] So it was them, after all.

[He drops the shirt and plunges into the forest again. The Pair are furiously setting up more of their traps in another part of the woods.]

Yuri: He's brainwashed.

Kei: Huh? How can you tell? Seemed like he was trying pretty hard to kill us to me.

Yuri: He missed, Kei, when both of us were standing still! You've seen his marksmanship before. There's no way he could've missed at that range unless it was deliberate.

Kei: So you think he's fighting against it?

Yuri: [nodding] The question now is whether we can undo the damage.

Kei: Yuri, you're forgetting...we may still have to kill him.

Yuri: What?! But I just said-

Kei: That he's fighting it. But that doesn't mean he's winning. And he only has to lose control long enough to hit us. He's already lost it enough to shoot at us.

Yuri: [upset] But we can't just...just KILL him, can we? He's a friend!

Kei: Yuri...we may not have a choice.

[The Pair stop their work for a second to stare at each other, confronting their dilemma again, then redouble their efforts. Damien is quietly following the Pair's trail from their mad flight away from him. He is watching out carefully for an ambush, probably why he missed the trip wire at his feet. A net bursts from under him, but Damien manages to jump out before it hoists him into the air. He almost breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the branch whipping towards his face. The Pair are crouched in the underbrush and hear Damien grunt in pain. The Pair give the thumbs up as they jump to their feet and rush towards the area of the trap. But all they see is the empty net in the air and the bag on the ground. They approach the bag carefully. Unseen by the Pair, Damien is holding the branch bent back. Yuri kneels to examine it as Damien lets go and the branch swings out suddenly, knocking into Kei's back and sending her flying. Her foot lands in one of her own noose traps and hoists her upside down. Yuri, giggling, moves forward to cut Kei loose. Damien tugs on a vine and a trip wire comes out of hiding in front of Yuri's foot, tripping her and sending her into one of her noose traps. The Pair are dangling upside down and side-by-side, staring at each other.]

Damien: Pardon me, ladies-

[The Pair turn their heads to see Damien emerge from hiding, his gun out and aimed at them. A look of surprise, horror, and fear cross the Pair's faces.]

Damien: -this will only take a moment.

[Damien smiles faintly and fires twice. A flock of birds, startled by the gunshot, take flight and burst through the forest's canopy, winging their way towards the cavern ceiling. Smoke curls away from the muzzle slowly.]

SCENE 16

[Kei and Yuri are lying face-down in a clearing, much as they were in the beginning of Scene 15, only this time in their 3WA uniforms instead of their stolen Disciple uniforms. A pile of sundry items lies nearby. For some time they lie motionless, then Kei stirs, rolls over, and sits up. {What, did you think I actually KILLED them? Get real! 8^} She groans, rubbing the back of her head and stretching. She feels her neck and discovers her slave-collar is gone. She nudges Yuri awake, who goes through almost the same ritual, and realizes she doesn't have a slave-collar anymore either. They stare at each other, confused, blinking.]

Yuri: This is becoming a bad habit, getting drugged and waking up in strange places.

Kei: Hey, at least it's not as bad as that Spring Break back at the university. Remember?

Yuri: [groaning] Don't remind me. I still have nightmares about talking beer kegs... [slowly] So, what happened this time?

Kei: I'm not sure. We were hanging upside-down-

[The scene fades into a flashback sequence, showing the events at the end of Scene 15, the voice-over done by the Pair.]

Yuri: [sourly] In our own traps.

Kei: -and Damien showed up.

[Damien emerges from the woods with his gun out, smiling.]

Yuri: He shot at us, didn't he?

[The flashback slows down dramatically as Damien's gun flashes as he fires his two shots. Two slave-collars drop to the ground, bouncing against each other. The Pair rub their necks, startled, their slave-collars evidently shattered by Damien's bullets. Damien hurls a pellet under their heads. It breaks, releasing sleeping gas. The Pair have time to exchange one look of surprise before passing out from the gas. The flashback fades back into the present.]

Kei: Now I'm confused.

Yuri: Me too. Is he out to kill us or not? If he's been brainwashed like I think he has, did he manage to overcome it? And why dope us if he has? And why bring us here?

Kei: [pointing at the pile of stuff] Hey, what's that?

[Yuri crawls over and rummages through the pile, naming the items in it.]

Yuri: Soap, shampoo, towels...[perplexed] What is this, a bathhouse?

[Kei suddenly grabs Yuri's shoulder, her eyes quivering, and points.]

Kei: [overjoyed] Look!

[Yuri turns to follow her gaze and sees a huge lake nearby. The Pair gape at it for a moment as if looking upon the face of God, glance at each other, smile, grab the pile of stuff, and run pell-mell for the lake, laughing and tossing their clothes aside as they jump off the steep, low embankment into the neck-deep water. They wash vigorously, laughing and horsing around like children. Eventually the Pair lean against the embankment, still smiling.]

Kei: [satisfied] Now THIS is more like it.

Yuri: MUCH better. Now you don't smell so bad anymore!

Kei: Hey, you were hardly sweet-scented yourself!

[The Pair stick their tongues out at each other and make odd faces then break down into laughter.]

Yuri: [sighing] I guess we have to get back to work now, huh?

Kei: [complaining] Already? C'mon, I think we both deserve a break.

Yuri: So do I, but we need to get out of here first and find Damien.

[Suddenly a towel drops down and dangles between them, startling them.]

Damien: I couldn't agree more.

[The Pair turn in shocked embarassment to see Damien crouched on the embankment, holding out the towel with one hand and smirking.]

Damien: Need a towel?

[Damien's smirk disappears as the Pair each grab hold of his jacket with one hand and simultaneously yank him off the embankment, dunking him in the lake. The Pair have already climbed out and wrapped themselves in towels by the time Damien resurfaces, sputtering and coughing water. He eyes the sitting Pair sourly as they just smirk the way he had.]

Damien: [dryly] Thanks a lot.

Kei: It's your own fault.

Yuri: Hasn't anyone told you it's rude to watch a lady bathe?

Kei: [pantomiming pinching her nose] Besides, you need a bath anyways.

[Damien climbs up onto the embankment, dripping wet, and starts undressing.]

Damien: [taking off his jacket] Yeah, but I didn't think you'd want to take one with me, so I figured I'd wait my turn. [tosses his jacket onto the ground] What I don't need is to wait for my clothes to dry.

Yuri: Consider it the penalty for your impetuousness.

Kei: Yeah, most guys we'd probably hurt badly.

Damien: [taking off his shoulder holster] Gee, guess I should be thankful I can still walk normally then. [tosses it onto his jacket]

Yuri: Of course!

Kei: If you were just a co-worker we wouldn't've been so merciful. But since it's considered bad form to kill your friends, I suppose we'll have to forgive you.

Damien: [taking off his shirt] Nothing wrong with your forms, as near as I can tell. [tosses his shirt onto the holster]

[The Pair blush slightly as Damien smirks again, taking off his sword belt and shoes and tossing them onto the growing pile. Kei recovers first and winks at Damien.]

Kei: Nothing wrong with yours either, as near as I can tell.

Damien: [bowing] Thank you. [starts taking off his pants] Uhhh, do you mind?

Yuri: [grinning] Not at all, go right ahead.

Damien: Hilarious.

Kei: [feigning shock] Why, Damien, you aren't MODEST, are you?

Damien: Hey, women aren't the only ones who get embarassed, you know!

Kei: [nonchalantly] You know, Yuri, I've heard that the more shy a guy is, the smaller his-

[Damien whirls suddenly on the Pair, nearly losing his balance and his grip on his pants, and points an accusing finger at the giggling Pair.]

Damien: [angrily] Hey, I don't make comments like that about you two, so cut it out!

[The Pair just stick their tongues out at the increasingly embarassed, frustrated, and annoyed Damien and laugh even harder. Suddenly an idea hits him and he regains his composure. He turns away from them slightly, smiling.]

Damien: So which of you needs to go on a diet, anyways?

[This, needless to say, gets the Pair's attention. They jump to their feet, almost dislodging their towels, and shout angrily at Damien.]

Kei & Yuri: WHAT?!?

Damien: [smirking] I swear, one of you weighs a ton! I had to carry both of you all the way here and it felt like my shoulders were going to fall off!

Yuri: [recovering] Must've been Kei.

Kei: [furiously] What?! Why the hell is it my fault?!

Yuri: [pinching Kei's stomach through the towel] Hmmm, I think your waist may've grown some, Kei.

Damien: You've been hitting the cheesecake a little too hard, I think.

[Damien starts chuckling as Kei grows more and more furious, her entire body trembling. Damien is laughing hysterically when all of the sudden he's hit on the back of the head - with his clothes, a big rock, a hammer, take your pick - and gets knocked off the embankment into the water. Kei stomps off, still mad, and Yuri follows, glancing back at Damien's unconscious form once, floating on his back, his pants floating next to him, clad only in his underwear, his smile distorted and frozen on his face.]

Yuri: [smiling] Wasn't that a little extreme, Kei?

Kei: Shut up.

Yuri: I mean he was just commenting, right? No need to-

Kei: [angrily] I said SHUT UP!!

[Cut to Nelson's office as Boss enters. Nelson is sitting behind her desk as he salutes her.]

Boss: You wanted to see me, ma'am?

Nelson: Any word from Damien yet?

Boss: [shaking his head] He hasn't returned. But it's too early to worry about him.

Nelson: Maybe. I lost the signal from the Dirty Pair's collars. It could be that Damien's killed them already, but the loss seemed too sudden for even an instantaneous death.

Boss: You think they've managed to remove them instead.

Nelson: It's certainly not impossible. The question is how. They didn't have any tools on them, not even a gun to try to shoot them off with, as insane as that sounds.

Boss: None we could find, ma'am. They were wearing their 3WA uniforms under their disguises, and it is possible, unlikely as it sounds, that something was hidden in them.

Nelson: Perhaps. But I'm mildly concerned that-

[A communicator beep sounds. Nelson picks up a phone and answers.]

Nelson: Yes? [pauses] Go on. [looks surprised] Are you sure? [pauses] I see. Double-check and keep me informed. [hangs up] Boss, assemble a aerial strike team to enter the reserve and hunt down the Dirty Pair.

Boss: But what about-?

Nelson: [cutting him off] There's been a change of plans. Do it. Now.

Boss: [stiffly] Yes, ma'am. [leaves]

[Back in the reserve, Damien, a towel around his waist, is rummaging through his clothes. He pulls out the remote control Plug gave him (remember that?) and examines it carefully. He idly tosses it once in the air, catches it, then puts it back in his jacket. He stands up, rubbing the lump on the back of his head carefully and wincing now and then.]

Damien: [muttering] Forgot about not making her mad.

[Damien spots the Pair. Yuri is sitting against a tree while Kei is sunbathing, topless and on her stomach {Down, boys...}. Yuri waves as Damien approaches while Kei just turns her head away from him.]

Yuri: If it isn't our modest hero.

Damien: [angry] Hey, now just a minute! Are you implying I have something to hide?

Yuri: [smirking] Not at all. I'm saying you have nothing to hide.

Damien: Oh yeah? Well what about this?!

[Damien flings his towel aside, glaring at Yuri. Yuri blushes, embarassed, and looks away, then notices that Damien was wearing his underwear underneath the towel, and looks annoyed instead.]

Damien: [grinning] Gotcha. [turns to Kei] Hi, Kei.

Kei: [caustically] Come to compliment us or insult us this time?

Damien: Oh, don't take it so seriously. I was just kidding.

Kei: [turning to look at him] Really?

[Kei jumps to her feet and advances slowly on Damien {sorry, guys, you only get to see her back} while yelling at him. Damien backs away from her, holding his hands up defensively, blushing and looking embarassed.]

Kei: [angrily] Were you just kidding when you shot at us too? Or were you just kidding us all this time, pretending to be on our side? How the hell are we supposed to tell when you're kidding? How are we supposed to trust you when you try to kill us? Just assume it's a joke?!

[Damien doesn't answer, his attention absorbed with something else. Kei follows his gaze and gets upset - with Damien, of course. She delivers a mammoth slap to the side of his face.]

Kei: YOU LECH!! DON'T LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!

[Damien goes sprawling on to the ground as Kei picks up Damien's towel and wraps it around her. Damien sits up slowly, rubbing his cheek. He holds up the bag containing the Pair's equipment for Kei to see, then tosses it on the ground, spilling its contents. Kei stares at it, surprised.]

Damien: Thought you might want your stuff back.

[The Pair are examining their gear. Kei looks up at Damien, speechless. Damien smiles painfully, trying to wink with an eye that's already starting to swell, and stands up.]

Damien: It's all there. Uh, except for one fog pellet. Still works too, far as I know. I was kidding about your weight. I wasn't kidding when I said I was on your side. And I still am. But I wasn't kidding when I tried to kill you, either.

[Damien heads back for his gear. The Pair look at each other for a moment, then follow Damien. He starts putting his clothes back on.]

Kei: What the hell does that mean?! You weren't kidding when you tried to kill us, but you're on our side? With friends like you, who needs enemies!

Damien: [sighing] OK, I guess I'll have to explain. Apparently I've been brainwashed and recruited into the Disciples' little army.

Yuri: [dubious] Apparently?

Damien: [smiling wryly] Psychological indoctrination therapy is what I think they call it. Pump me up with drugs then bombard my mind with subliminals and stuff. I've more or less broken their hold on my brain, but not quite. [shaking his head] It's difficult to describe. There's all this...this information they shoved into my head. It's like there's me, then there's all this other junk they stuck inside my head that's supposed to be a part of me, and I sometimes have trouble telling the two apart. There's also something in there that's supposed to make me obey their orders. And right now their orders are to kill you two.

[A moment of silence follows as the implication sinks in.]

Damien: So far, I've managed to rein back, but...but sometimes my reflexes kick in and the commands take effect. Like when I first spotted you, Kei, and attacked you. It gets easier to control myself, but I have to concentrate to maintain it. If I let myself just react...you may want to stay away from me in a fight. Right now, it's no big deal, but if I let myself stop thinking about, if only for a second or two...it could be unpleasant.

Kei: Great! So now we're supposed to trust you, even after you admit to having your mind tinkered with and that you're supposed to kill us?!

Damien: [facetiously] Of course. [seriously] That's also part of why I gave you your guns back. Besides protecting yourself against them. You may have to protect yourself against me.

Yuri: Why?

Damien: Because there's no guarantee that I haven't overlooked something. That I won't try to kill you again. So you may have to kill me first.

Kei: You've got to be kidding!

Damien: I'm afraid not. [grimly] I'm not about to be used as a weapon against you two again.

[The Pair are surprised at Damien's conviction and his decision.]

Kei: That still doesn't answer the question as to how you overcame the brainwashing.

Yuri: Or why you aren't dead. Shouldn't they have implanted a suicide trigger like they did in Jackson? Wouldn't that kill you for disobeying orders?

Nelson: I'm also interested in learning this trick.

[The three whirl to see Nelson's hologram standing nearby under a tree. Elsewhere, in a darkened chamber, several one-man attack hovercraft are being prepared by Disciple soldiers. In the reserve, Damien is barely restraining his anger while the Pair are more visibly furious with Nelson's appearance.]

Nelson: It appears I was wrong, ladies. That wasn't our last meeting after all. [to Kei] Care to charge me again?

Kei: Only when it's the real you, "Ms. Nelson."

Nelson: Indeed. [to Yuri] My chief hacker passes his "compliments" on to whoever created your interesting 3WA toy.

Kei: [to Yuri] What'd you do?

Yuri: [innocently] Well, since we were taking all that information out of the Disciples system, it seemed only fair to leave something behind.

Kei: [chuckling] A virus.

Nelson: Indeed. It was most ingenious in sneaking past most of our defenses and it did make finding the three of you again somewhat difficult, but it was discovered before it could do anything damaging and is being removed even as we speak. A noble attempt, though. [inclines her head towards Damien] Damien.

Damien: Ma- Ms. Nelson. The displeasure's all mine.

Nelson: Indeed. [smiles faintly] You nearly said "ma'am," didn't you?

Damien: [eloquently] The actor grows too involved in his part and forgets the line between him and his character. So too has my deception run its course through me.

Nelson: Perhaps. Or perhaps some lingering remnant of the PIT still lurking inside your head? I heard your previous comments, after all. But tell me, how did you overcome the PIT? You are the first to ever do so.

Damien: [smiling] Perhaps it was my overwhelmingly strong will, or my devotion to duty. [pointing to the Pair] Or maybe it was my love for these two that refused to let me kill them.

[The Pair are clearly surprised by the latter possibility.]

Damien: It could have been the waving of a magic wand, or perhaps it was the little pills I took that neutralized not only your venom extract but your psychochem triggers. Your choice.

Nelson: [nodding] Counteractive drugs. I should've considered that possibility earlier. An oversight on my part. [smiling sinisterly] But while the drugs are the foundation for the PIT, they are by no means the only affectors. The subliminals work reasonably well even without the use of drugs. You yourself admitted that. So perhaps you lack the proper motivation. Maybe I merely need to reinforce your commands. [in a strong, commanding tone] Damien, I order you to terminate the Dirty Pair! [Damien's eyes widen suddenly and he breaks out into a cold sweat, his entire body trembling. He swallows once as Nelson watches, amused, and the Pair watch in horror. Back in the hovercraft chamber, various Disciples give the thumbs-up. An iris-port in the floor opens and the hovercraft launch through it one at a time into the reserve from its ceiling.]

Nelson: [louder] That is a direct order, Damien! Kill the Dirty Pair! NOW!

[Damien's fists clench and unclench almost spastically as he grits his teeth. He glances over his shoulder at the Pair, who almost reflexively reach for their guns before realizing they left them behind.]

Kei: [whispering] Damien...

Nelson: What are you waiting for?! KILL THEM!

[Slowly Damien reaches his hand under his jacket towards his gun. Nelson smiles cruely. Kei touches Damien's shoulder lightly, her eyes quivering, while Yuri looks on, almost horrified.]

Kei: [whispering] Please. Don't.

[Damien's hand emerges from his jacket, but holding the remote control Plug gave him. He turns his head slowly to look at Nelson. Nelson is disappointed he resisted, but looks unconcerned by the control in his hand. The Pair breathe a silent sigh of relief and Kei tightens her grip on Damien's shoulder. Damien speaks slowly and with apparent effort as he talks to Nelson.]

Damien: Nice try, Ms. Nelson. But not good enough. You made two fatal errors in your plans.

Nelson: [still unconcerned] Oh? And what are they?

Damien: The first one surprises me. You underestimated these women. The second one I'm used to. [smiles] You underestimated me.

Nelson: Indeed. [sighs] Disappointing. I had hoped to savor the irony of using you as my weapon to kill the Dirty Pair and turning you into another one of my obedient workers. Now I will have to just kill all of you.

Damien: You wish. I said I was going to take you and your organization down, remember? And I try to keep my promises.

[Damien flips the cover off the button on the remote with his thumb.]

Damien: Oh yes. You remember our little talk about power? Well, there was one thing I forgot to mention. [grins with malevolent glee] You can't take it with you, bitch.

[Damien presses the button on the control. Throughout the complex, the little discs he planted glow brightly for a moment then disappear in a tiny puff of smoke. As the view cycles throughout the various places he planted them - the hidden hanger entrance, the fuel depot, the armory, a data room, and the big viewscreen in the main control room - it also becomes apparent he managed to plant more during his guided tour with Boss - the balcony of the main control room, the main power generator room, the auditorium, and the airlock to the preserve Damien entered through. On a computer screen, a message appears, "Hyperpulse signals received. Positions determined." The message is then replaced with a map and a number of tightly-grouped glowing dots which look like one dot located in the Feld Desert. Plug, watching the display, jumps up and yells. Behind him, Damien's team is sitting in anticipation.]

Plug: I got the signal, guys! Coordinates being fed to nav now!

Robert: [muttering] About time. [in a loud commanding voice] Folks, this is it, get into position! Kok, you got your gear?

[Kok, an Asian male about a head shorter than Robert and with a medical insignia on his uniform, looks up at him and nods.]

Kok: Yeah, I got everything to put that idiot back together again.

Robert: Alright, take off now!

Driver: [through speaker] You got it, Rob.

[A Vanaheim Special Forces transport {which probably looks like the ones in "Aliens," just so I can have an in-joke} lifts off like a helicopter from a rooftop landing pad. Inside, people are still getting strapped in and checking out their equipment as Plug continues checking his terminal. Robert sits down near Plug and talks quietly with him so the others can't hear them.]

Robert: Plug, if those things do what you said they do, doesn't that mean-?

Plug: The party's gonna be over, one way or the other, once we get there. We just pick up the pieces.

Robert: Including Damien's?

Plug: [grimly] If we have to.

[On a computer terminal on board the Lovely Angel, a similiar message appears. Mughi starts prepping the ship for takeoff. The Lovely Angel glides slowly out of its hanger. The tower contacts the ship through the radio.]

Tower: Lovely Angel, this is Tower. You do not have clearance for take-off. Please return to hanger. Repeat-

[Mughi, looking annoyed and growling dangerously, uses his feelers to type a response out. In the tower, the radio operator looks startled and summons his superior.]

Operator: Ma'am, it's requesting immediate clearance again.

Superior: Tell them to wait their turn.

Operator: Uhh, they say, "Give me immediate clearance now, or-"

[The operator gasps, his eyes bulging, and blushes.]

Operator: Uhh, well, basically they say they're leaving now, whether we give them clearance or not.

Superior: [crossly] Who the hell-

[The superior looks over the operator's shoulder at the message onscreen, and gulps, her face pale as her eyes scan the screen.]

Superior: [softly] Geez...

Operator: Uhh, ma'am, I really think we should let THEM have clearance.

[The superior is making odd motions with her fingers, as if testing out some intricate and painful maneuver, and frowning.]

Superior: [to herself] Is that possible? [recovers herself] Oh. Uhh, give them clearance.

[Back in the Lovely Angel, the operator's voice is heard over the radio.]

Tower: [nervously] Lovely Angel, you have clearance for immediate takeoff.

[Mughi makes a satisfied grunt and the Lovely Angel rockets skyward. Back on Plug's computer terminal, a message appears, "KOG cannon charging." In outer space a menacing-looking satellite hangs in orbit above Vanaheim, a golden shimmering visible around the muzzle of a cannon pointed towards the planet. Another message appears, "Targets acquired and locked." The space-based cannon slowly moves itself into position. A final message appears, "KOG cannon firing."]

Plug: [to himself] This is it.

[The shimmering quickens and coalesces until a truly impressive- looking beam of golden energy leaps from the cannon and races towards the surface of Vanaheim. It passes through a cloud, evaporating it instantly, then finally strikes the Disciples' hidden stronghold. It melts its way through the rock and obliterates the entrance into the stronghold. The next beam comes right through the ceiling of the hanger and blows up the fuel depot. By this time, alarms are sounding, red lights are flashing, and people are running amidst the destruction. Several more shots from the KOG cannon are fired, each one passing through the area where a disc was placed and each one causing a LOT of property damage and casualties {GOD, I wish this scene was animated!}. Halfway through the destruction, Nelson's hologram flickers, distorts wildly, and disappears. Even after the firing finally stops the destruction continues as secondary explosions rock the complex and portions of the weakened infrastructure or mountain collapse in on the base. Disciples are in a state of near-panic, some working to fight the raging fires, others trying to flee only to discover the vehicles all damaged or destroyed, others just milling about helplessly. In the reserve, a number of shots have passed through the ceiling, destroying whatever vegetation happened to be in the way, then passing through the floor. One shot evaporated a substantial portion of the lake, leaving the nearby area misty with steam. Kei and Yuri sit up, apparently knocked down by the shock waves, their towels in disarray, grimacing and rubbing their heads, their eyes mostly closed.]

Kei: Ugh, my head's ringing like a telephone.

Yuri: What happened? Where's Damien?

Damien: Down here.

[The Pair look down and realize with embarassment they fell on top of Damien. Quickly they get off him as he sits up.]

Kei: Are you okay?

Damien: [leering] There're infinitely worse things to have fall on me.

[Damien ducks low, covering his head with his hands, to avoid the Pair's slaps that pass over his head. He sits up again, only to have his face caught between their slaps instead.]

Damien: [dryly] Thanks. I needed that.

Kei: What do you expect, after a comment like that?

Damien: [innocently] What'd I say?

Yuri: You lech!

Damien: [dryly] Isn't everyone.

[The Pair glare at him malignantly.]

Damien: [defensively] Hey, it's not like I dragged you two on top of me! [thinking] Not that I particularly minded, though.

Yuri: [sighing] Never mind. What was that?

Damien: Oh. That was the KOG cannon. [stands up]

Kei: How the hell did you fire it with just that little box?

Damien: This activates the targeting discs I planted throughout the complex. They beam a signal to the KOG satellite which locks on to them and fires.

Yuri: Why didn't you tell us about them?!

Damien: You didn't ask? How about I like to have my secrets? I wanted to surprise you? [holds his hands out to the Pair] Want to get up, or do you enjoy this natural sauna?

[Damien helps the Pair to their feet, who adjust their towels again.]

Damien: You may want to get your stuff now. [smiles] I think it's time to wrap this case up.

[Nelson's office has been damaged, debris littering the floor. Nelson crawls out from under the wreckage, bruised and dirty, but not too injured. She stands up slowly, looking VERY angry for the first time, staring at the ruins around her.]

Nelson: [muttering] Gone. All gone. Because of them. Because of HIM. But I'll still kill all of you. I'll drag you into hell with me.

[Nelson's malign chuckle builds up to hysterical laughter.]

SCENE 17

[Damien and the Pair are making their way through the forest, Damien in the lead with the Pair behind him, dressed in uniform again. Occassional distant explosions or rumblings are heard. The Pair appear a bit annoyed as they talk to Damien.]

Yuri: You mean you've had this planned from the very beginning?!

Damien: Well, for a while now. Actually, it was meant to be a last resort, but it seemed appropriate at the time.

Yuri: And you told your team and even Mughi what you were up to, but you didn't tell us?!

Damien: Uhhh, well, yeah.

Yuri: [angrily] Why didn't you warn us what you had in mind?!

Damien: [sighing] Look, Yuri, I know you're upset at me for not saying anything, but I had my reasons, and once we get out of here I'll try to explain them to you. Right now we don't have enough time.

[Yuri is fuming but keeps quiet. Kei looks pensive for a moment before speaking to Damien.]

Kei: Where'd you get the stuff?

Damien: What stuff?

Kei: You know, the towels and soap and shampoo back there. Where'd you get it?

Damien: [smiling] What sort of magician gives away all his secrets? [Damien continues on in pensive silence, looking thoughtful and a bit depressed. It's Kei's turn to fume as Yuri notices Damien's mood swing.]

Yuri: What's wrong, Damien?

Damien: Oh, nothing, really, it's just...I was thinking about this reserve. All these plants and animals and whatnot. Once the Disciples are gone, they're all going to die. Seems a shame to me. It's a nice place.

Yuri: Yeah, but none of this was here to start with. This isn't natural for a real cave, after all. A carefully created and controlled environment.

Damien: Yeah. [smiling wryly] It's ironic, in a way. One of the only times the Disciple's work results in giving life, not taking it away, and I'm the one who turns it back into dust.

Yuri: Regrets?

Damien: [shrugging] A few. Nothing I can't live with.

[The trio emerges into a small clearing in the midst of the forest. Damien notices a tombstone sitting in the clearing. He approaches the stone tombstone, puzzled, the Pair trailing behind. He knells in front of the headstone and reads the inscription out loud.]

Damien: "Here lies-"

[Damien's eyes widen and quiver suddenly and he drops to both knees weakly, as if defeated.]

Damien: [whispering] Dad.

[Elsewhere, Nelson has regained some of her composure; her face is still set in anger, but her voice is calm and controlled. She pulls out and activates a small communicator {possibly Star Trek-esque for another in-joke}.]

Robinson: [over communicator] Robinson here.

Nelson: Report. What're our damage estimates?

Robinson: Pretty bad, ma'am. Main control center's gone. Power station's been hit too and we're on backup only. High chance that the reactor will blow. Looks like the hanger's a complete loss. One of the armories has been destroyed along with data room A. The base is scrapped, ma'am, and there's no sign of Boss anywhere.

Nelson: [sighing] Do you have any good news for me, Robinson?

Robinson: We're both still alive at the moment. The aerial unit inside the preserve took some hits, but they survived and are now hunting the Dirty Pair. Orders, ma'am?

Nelson: Emergency evacuation of all non-security personnel. Standard destruct of all remaining data. Have security teams on standby to deal with Damien and the Dirty Pair if they get past the aerial strike team. Activate the automatic security drones. Shoot to kill. Meet me in data room B. And find Boss.

Robinson: Yes, ma'am. Robinson out.

[Nelson puts away her communicator as a different alarm sounds. What few people remain left either head for a ship to try and escape - often ending in their deaths as the ship blows up - or perform last-minute tasks before leaving. Nelson sighs deeply, surveying the ruin, then draws a small handgun and leaves her office. Back in the reserve, Damien is talking, hesitantly and with many pauses, to the tombstone. The Pair stand behind Damien, watching in silent sympathy.]

Damien: Long time no see, Dad. Sorry I couldn't visit you earlier, but I didn't know where to find you. Forgot to bring you flowers. [draws his gun] I brought your pistol, though. Want it back? [sets the gun agaisnt the stone then looks up at the sky] What the hell am I doing? [looks back at the tombstone] Well, what can I say to you? We never really got to say goodbye, did we? Although, we didn't really say hello much, either, did we? [pauses] That holo-log of yours...you always did know how to screw up my life, didn't you, Dad? Just when I think I've put everything in its place, you came back from the dead and shook up the table. You probably have no idea what that did to my life. Of maybe you do. Here I thought I finally understood you and then I find out I was wrong. I keep thinking I should resent you, that I should hate you for ruining my life like that. And sometimes, in the past, I'd lie awake and nurse all my hatred and frustration and pain and blame you for it. But...but in the end, it wasn't really your fault. I just wanted a scapegoat, a donkey to pin the tail on, and you just happened to be there. [angrily] Goddammit, why'd you have to be so willing to take the blame?! [punches the tombstone] You always...you always felt responsible. For everything. That went wrong, I mean. You'd never accept credit when we won. You always said that was because of what we did. Never because of what you did. But you always blamed yourself when someone died or when a mission wasn't completed, always felt you'd somehow failed us. [yelling] Why the hell did you punish yourself like that?! Did you have somthing to prove? Were you trying to atone for something? What?! [calming down] I'm sorry. I-

[Damien stops as the roaring of engines can be heard. He picks up his gun as the Pair draw theirs. They get into combat positions as the roaring grows louder. In his room, Boss opens a chest and removes a large rifle, similiar to the laser rifles in Akira but with a large muzzle opening, examining it. Satisfied, he shoulders the rifle's power pack and closes the chest. He puts on a helmet and presses a button on it, Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll" starting up. He takes one last look at the holocube before leaving, carrying the rifle. Back in the reserve, (the music carrying over) a hoverbike suddenly bursts from the forest, its gun trained on the trio. They dive for cover as the bike fires, gouging away at the ground. The Pair return fire just as more hoverbikes emerge into the clearing, guns blazing. The Pair retreat into the forest as Damien leaves in another direction. Three of the hoverbikes pursue the Pair while the other two search for Damien. Damien is nowhere to be seen but his gun fires, hitting one of his pursuers in the face and sending his hoverbike crashing. His other pursuer starts strafing the forest randomly, chewing up the surrounding vegetation. Meanwhile, one of the other hoverbikes flushes Kei out of hiding, who starts running wildly through the forest. The hoverbike pursues and just as the driver is about to shoot Kei, he is knocked back and out of his bike, his vehicle spiraling to the ground driverless. Yuri, sitting in a tree, recoils the thin wire she had set up between two trees which had knocked the hoverbike driver out of his seat. She jumps to the ground, smiling and giving the thumbs-up to Kei, when another hoverbike appears. The Pair expertly dodge its shots and return fire. They hit the bike's controls and it crashes, tumbling the driver out of his seat and tossing him into the bushes. The Pair set off to find the third pursuer when a gas canister hits a nearby tree and explodes, surrounding the Pair in a gas cloud. Coughing and covering their mouths, they sink slowly to the ground.]

Kei: Dammit-

Yuri: -not agaiiiii...

[The Pair pass out. Meanwhile, Damien's remaining pursuer is still busy demolishing the woods when Damien leaps out of a nearby tree, his sword out, and knocks the driver off the bike and onto the ground. The vegetation rattles briefly as they struggle while the riderless bike sinks to the ground and explodes, the music finishing at this point. Damien emerges from the bushes, his sword bloody, still holding onto one lifeless arm. Casually, he wipes the blade clean on the corpse's sleeve then resheathes his sword, dropping the arm. He pulls his gun out and makes his way back towards the clearing.]

Disciple: [calling out] Hey, Damien, come look at what I've got!

[Damien, hiding, looks into the clearing and sees the unconscious Pair lying on the ground. The Disciple, sitting in his landed bike, has his gun trained on the Pair.]

Disciple: Better give up or the ladies're puree!

Damien: If you shoot them I'll kill you.

Disciple: Oh, I know that! But can you kill me before my finger twitches on the trigger? At this range there won't be enough left of them to tell which is which! Better throw your gun over here if you want them to live!

[Damien clenches his fist angrily but keeps his voice neutral.]

Damien: What makes you think I care? Besides, I could give you the same ultimatum. Unless you want to die.

Disciple: I'm gambling you care about these two! Better hurry though! My finger's getting twitchy. 5...4...3...2...

[Damien, gritting his teeth, flicks a switch on his gun and grips it by the barrel.]

Damien: Alright! [hurls his gun at the Disciple] You win!

[The Disciple picks up Damien's gun from where it landed near his foot.]

Disciple: [smiling] Now come out, hands behind your head! Slowly, now!

[Damien puts his hands behind his head and enters the clearing, the Disciple still smiling and aiming Damien's gun at him.]

Disciple: Women. Get you every time.

[The Disciple pulls the trigger on Damien's gun, but it backfires, exploding in his hand and blinding him. Damien charges him, his hand on his sword hilt.]

Disciple: [howling in pain] You bastard! [reaches blindly for the trigger on his bike] I'll kill you!

[As the Disciple fumbles with the controls, one hand covering his bleeding face, Damien draws his sword with a reversed grip (i.e. his thumb near the pommel not the guard) and cuts off the Disciple's hand and head with one swing as he charges past him. The Disciple's body falls quietly to the ground as his head and hand disappear into the forest. Damien cleans his blade and resheathes it again then disposes of the Disciple's body in the forest, taking the guy's gun and putting it in his holster. He goes over to kneel by the Pair's unconscious bodies and nudges them gently, noticing their flushed cheeks.]

Damien: C'mon, sleeping beauties, time to wake up.

[The Pair do not respond and Damien nudges harder.]

Damien: Hey, this isn't some fairy tale! Wake up!

Kei: [fuzzily] Hey, isn't the hero s'pposed to give the lady a kiss?

Damien: [smiling] I always thought the damsel in distress rewarded her rescuer with her favor.

Kei: [smiling] Well, I think I deserve a kiss.

Damien: Maybe later. Now get up. [turns his head] Hey, get up, Yuri. No fair sleeping on the job.

Yuri: [sleepily] I agree with Kei. Hero's supposed to awake the sleeping beauty with a kiss.

Damien: [with mock reproach] What are you two, nymphomaniacs? You're more lust-crazed than Robert, and that's saying quite a bit.

[The Pair make idle swipes with their fists at Damien, but are too sluggish to hit. Chuckling, he scoops his arms under their shoulders and lifts them up, one on each side, and carries them to the hoverbike. He helps them into the seat.]

Damien: This is gonna be a tight fit.

Kei: [smiling] I don't mind.

Yuri: [sourly] That's because you get to be in the middle.

Damien: [sighing] I'll be in the middle, alright?

[The Pair giggle and nod their assent as Damien picks up the remains of his gun and carries it over to his father's grave. Carefully he sets it down in front of the tombstone.]

Damien: Just returning this, Dad. Sorry I broke it.

[Damien stares at the tombstone for a moment as if wanting to say something, but instead stands up and goes back to the hoverbike. He climbs in between the Pair, Kei in front and Yuri in back, and starts up the hoverbike.]

Damien: [thinking] Goodbye, Dad. I'll miss you.

Yuri: I get t'drive!

Kei: No way! `S my turn!

Damien: [thinking] Great, they're drunk. [to the Pair] I'm driving. You two couldn't find the ignition right about now. Now hold tight.

[The hoverbike takes off and lifts above the treetops. Damien turns it around to face the ruined entrance to the reserve then kicks in the fans, zooming over the trees.]

Damien: Hey, not that tight! I need to breathe.

Yuri: [giggling] Sorry.

Damien: Behave yourselves, now.

Kei: [smiling] But what if we don't wanna?

[Kei leans up against Damien's front, obscuring Damien's vision with her hair. Damien's head bobs around, trying to see past Kei but failing.]

Damien: Kei, I can't see!

[Kei half-turns to nuzzle up againt Damien, distracting him.]

Kei: Aw, c'mon, live it up a little!

Damien: It's living it down that has me worried right now.

Yuri: Hey, are you ticklish?

[In response, Damien starts laughing uncontrollably to the point of tears, his body twisting. The bike zig-zags through the air.]

Damien: [gasping] Yes, I am, now stop it, please.

Yuri: [disappointed] You're no fun.

Damien: Just call me a party-pooper.

Kei: [singing off-key] Booooorrrrrn to beeee wiiiiiilllld!!

[Yuri joins Kei enthusiastically while Damien looks unhappy.]

Damien: [thinking] Why me?

[Elsewhere, in a more or less intact data room, Robinson is using his helmet's comlink while Nelson and a security team stand nearby.]

Robinson: I've lost contact with the strike team, ma'am.

Nelson: I'm not surprised. [to the team] Kill them if they get past the drones.

[The team leaves while Nelson turns back to Robinson who is using a still-usuable control panel.]

Nelson: No word from Boss?

Robinson: None. No response from his comm.

Nelson: We'll have to assume he's dead then. Assemble another team. Monitor whatever internal sensors we have left. [checking her gun] Time to finish this.

[Damien lands the hoverbike outside the ruined corridor out of the reserve. He climbs through the rubble as the Pair stumble off the bike, reeling and holding their heads, looking sick.]

Yuri: [groaning] That's the fastest I've ever gone from wasted to hung over.

Kei: [mumbling] Wait, there's only one entrance, right?

[Damien comes back to help the Pair past the rubble.]

Damien: Serves you two right, getting caught like that. [smiling] I can't take you two anywhere without you getting yourselves in trouble.

Yuri: Wasn't our fault. Guy cheated, using sleeping gas like that. [weakly] I think I'm going to throw up.

Damien: Not on me, you don't!

Kei: [smiling] Besides, how many excuses can we find to do this? [leans up close against Damien's side and hugs his arm]

Damien: If you're trying to distract me, you're doing one hell of a job.

[Past the rubble, Damien leans the Pair against a wall. The KOG cannon has destroyed the steel door, the cave, the other door, and some of the corridor.]

Damien: Take a break. I'll take a look around.

[The Pair collect their reeling senses as Damien quickly scouts the corridor. A few meters into it, he finds the female technician who had helped him before he had gone into the reserve, her corpse gruesomely crushed by debris and her face distorted in pain. Damien averts his gaze for a moment, then kneels beside her and gently closes her eyes. He bows his head and sighs. The Pair come up behind him and watch.]

Kei: Damien? You okay?

Yuri: Something wrong?

Damien: [quietly] No. Nothing. Nothing at all. Just...more regrets.

[The Pair watch uncomfortably as Damien remains still.]

Kei: I'm...I'm sure it was quick.

Damien: Not quick enough. [stands up] C'mon, we'd better go.

[The trio proceed quickly down the corridor, guns drawn.]

Yuri: Are you sure you know where you're going?

Damien: More or less. Among all the other info they stuck in my head was a reasonably detailed floorplan. The trouble is how much damage the KOG cannon managed to do. I doubt the elevators work anymore, so we'll have to take the stairs.

Kei: And if they're gone?

Damien: I always did want to learn rock-climbing.

[Before either of the Pair can retort, small drones that look like remote-control toys appear in the corridor and start firing at them. Damien drops to the floor as the Pair kneel and they all fire, dispatching the drones with ease.]

Damien: [looking at his gun] Not bad.

Yuri: At least those things weren't much-

[MANY more of the drones appear in the corridor, humming and whirring.]

Yuri: -trouble.

[The trio run, taking the nearest side corridor, just as the drones open fire, chewing up large sections of the floor and walls in the process.]

Kei: What the hell are those things?!

Yuri: How should I know?!

Damien: This is hardly glamorous.

[They continue running, taking random turns down other corridors, staying just ahead and out of sight of the motorized drones. Unfortunately, they run out of luck and hit a dead end, a security bulkhead that blocks the corridor. They turn around to go back in time to see the drones round the corner.]

Damien, Kei, & Yuri: [muttering] Oh bloody hell.

[The Pair smile briefly at Damien's surprised look before dropping into a crouch. Just as the two sides prepare to fire at each other, a massive cone of energy burns effortlessly through the bulkhead and flies over the trio's heads, obliterating the drones in the corridor. The trio stand and turn around slowly to look at their armored savior with the big gun through the hole in the bulkhead. He removes his helmet, grinning at the trio's gaping mouths as he reveals his face.]

Boss: Still can't keep out of trouble, can you, Damien?

Damien: [incredulously] Boss?

Boss: What, you were expecting your father?

SCENE 18

[Damien is staring at Boss in a state of shock and confusion. The Pair are also watching Boss but more warily. Boss, dressed in armor and carrying his helmet in one hand and his rifle in the other, is watching all three of them, grinning at their perplexment.]

Damien: Boss?!

Boss: You said that already.

Damien: I know! I mean...what...why...what're you doing here?

Boss: Saving yer ass again, what's it look like?

Damien: [snapping] I can see that! I mean, what's happened to you? Didn't you use to be-?

Boss: One of the bad guys? Decided to switch sides. You're not the only one who can do that, y'know. Some of us just take longer than others.

Damien: But...how...

Boss: Stop stumbling, Damien. You haven't done that since you were eight. [bowing to the Pair] A pleasure to meet you again, ladies. This time under more favorably circumstances, I hope. [smirking at Damien] I hope Damien has behaved himself in your presence. Sometimes he forgets his manners.

Yuri: No, he's managed to control himself.

Kei: Most of the time.

Yuri: [smiling] Except when we were controlling him.

Damien: [sourly] Thanks a lot. [to Boss] Now you're humiliating me again.

Boss: Somebody has to keep you in line. [seriously] You'd better get out of here. You pretty seriously banged up this place, Damien. Won't last too much longer. [tosses a palm-sized unit to Damien] That'll guide you back to the hanger. I hope you have some escape route from there.

Damien: Aren't you coming with us?

Boss: [shaking his head] No. I have to take care of a few things. [puts his helmet back on] Bye, Damien.

[Boss starts running down the corridor. Damien tries to climb through the hole Boss made in the bulkhead, only to find out the edges are still hot.]

Damien: [shaking his burned hands] OW OW OW OW OW OW!! [looks at Boss] Wait up, Boss! [to himself] Dammit!

Yuri: What's happened to Boss?

Kei: Think he's overcome the PIT the way you did?

Damien: He was never in the PIT. [thinking] After all this time, why disobey Nelson now? And how-?

[Damien's eyes widen as he recollects Nelson's words from Scene 14.]

Nelson's voice: If he even thinks of betraying me, he experiences mental pain. The stronger the thought, the stronger the pain. If he actually does betray me, his internal nuclear power source detonates like a bomb.

Damien: [whispering] Oh my God. He can't be... [to the Pair] Get out of here. [hands the unit to Kei] Go to the hanger. Mughi and my team should be along before too long. Wait for them to pick you up.

Kei: What about you?

[Damien jumps through the hole in the bulkhead, lands on his side, rolls, and stands up, trying to avoid using his hands.]

Damien: I'm going after him.

Yuri: Are you crazy?!

Kei: With everyone left here trying to kill us and God knows how long before it all goes kablooey, you're going after him?!

Damien: I have to know why.

Yuri: Know? Know what? We don't have time-

Damien: [angrily] Look, I just do, alright?! [pleading] Please. It's important to me. I want an explanation from him.

Kei: Going to try to save him, too?

Damien: If I can.

[The Pair look back and forth from an emotional Damien to each other then throw their hands up in surrender.]

Kei: All right, all right.

Yuri: If it's that important, go ahead.

Kei: Just try not to get yourself killed.

Damien: I promise. [smiling] Merc's honor.

[Damien runs after Boss, leaving the Pair to stare at each other. A sudden tremor shakes the entire complex, unbalancing them. They grip the walls to steady themselves. As it passes, the Pair steady themselves.]

Kei: So do you think that was an explosion or an earthquake?

Yuri: Does it matter? This whole place is liable to collapse at any time. Let's not be here when it happens.

Kei: Good point. [looks at the unit] So how does this thing work?

[Nelson and Robinson are walking through a corridor, a security team following them. Robinson is using his helmet's comlink again.]

Robinson: Think we've found them, ma'am. Just lost a security drone patrol, one level down.

Nelson: Good. Tell the men to sweep that floor. Secure the upper levels.

Robinson: Yes, ma'am.

Nelson: [thinking] What are they up to now? And where's Boss?

[Damien is sprinting down a hallway, stopping at intersections to look in different directions before proceeding, searching for Boss. Then he hears the distinctive sound of Boss' rifle firing and heads in that direction. He finds the remains of another squad of security drones in front of an open security door. Damien runs for the door.]

Damien: Boss! You in there?

[Damien runs through the door, only to trip over Boss' outstretched foot. He falls face-first and sprawls on the ground in an undignified heap. He sits up and looks at Boss' amused expression. He glances around the room briefly and realizes they are in a large storage room, almost the size of a warehouse, with crates stacked up almost to the ceiling, apparently spanning more than one level of the base as other entrances are visible on a walkway overhead.]

Boss: Didn't anyone ever tell you not to charge into a potential combat situation like that?

Damien: [rubbing his jaw] You did.

Boss: So I did. I also told you get out of here. Looks like you're still ignoring my advice.

Damien: No, I'm just selectively hard of hearing. And I need to know why before I leave.

Boss: [innocently] Why what?

Damien: [earnestly] Why're you rebelling against Nelson now? Why'd you give me the Pair's equipment? Why won't you come with us? Nelson told me about...what she did to you. Are you trying to kill yourself or something?

Boss: Still a persistent bugger, aren't you? [holds his hand out to Damien] C'mon, if you're gonna pump me for info, the least you can do is help me set up a few booby-traps. [helps Damien to his feet then shoulders his rifle] This is another one of our supply rooms, `cept this is where we keep a lot of our explosives and such.

Damien: No guns, I take it?

Boss: [nods] You got it. [closes the door] C'mon. We'll talk on the way.

[Back with Nelson, Robinson, and company, Robinson is receiving another radio report.]

Robinson: Break-in, storage chamber 5, ma'am.

Nelson: 5? [pauses to think] They're probably headed for the maglev transport to the hanger. Tell the other team to enter from below, we'll enter from this level. No guns, though. We can't afford any accidental hits on the explosives. Go for hand-to-hand.

[With this order, Nelson's security team starts putting their guns away and pull out an assortment of melee weapons, ranging from batons to knives.]

Robinson: Is that wise, ma'am? What about them?

Nelson: [grimly] We'll just have to hope they aren't feeling suicidal.

[The Pair are running through a hallway, Kei in the lead and using the hand unit, which displays a map and a route to follow for getting to the hanger. Just as they are about to round a corner, Kei stops and holds up a hand. They can hear people approaching from down the hallway. The Pair take a quick peek and see a security team approaching from the far end. The Pair pull back out of sight. Yuri holds up a small bottle in front of Kei's face and smiles. Kei grins and nods. Yuri opens the bottle and carefully pours a clear liquid in a large square in the middle of the hallway. Just as Yuri is finishing pouring, Kei jumps out around the corner and waves at the approaching security team.]

Kei: [smiling] Hey, guys, over here!

[Kei jumps back around the corner just as they open fire, tearing up the hallway. The Pair leap over the square Yuri made and run towards the next intersection. As the security team rounds the corner, the Pair wave, smile, hoot, and cheer encouragingly at them. The Pair duck out of sight as the team fires again. The team charges down the hallway towards them and steps on the square. It becomes apparent that the liquid was some sort of strong acid as the square of flooring gives way under the team's feet and they fall through, disappearing from view. It becomes apparent it was a VERY strong acid as sounds of the team landing on the lower level only to pass through it as well emanate from the hole. The team falls through quite a number of levels before hitting bottom. The Pair smile at each other then proceed on their merry way, jumping over the hole in the floor. Meanwhile, Boss, who no longer has his rifle, and Damien are busy rigging explosives to a door on an upper level of the storage room.]

Boss: [quietly] For the last few years, I've been living in fear. Of pain from her damn programs. I tried to nurture my hatred, my desire for revenge against her, but there's only so much torture anyone can take before they break. I just broke a lot easier than I expected. After a while, it became so bad that I flinched on my own at the slightest consideration of betraying her. I've been living a lie for years. This isn't my body, isn't my life. Nelson figured out my limits, pushed me over them, and made me her damn puppet. [smiles wryly] But then I discovered loopholes in the programming. Loopholes that let me get away with little things.

Damien: Like how you gave me back the Lovely Angels' equipment, and how you reduced the setting on their mind-probe?

Boss: [nodding] And how I'm able to do what we're doing now without writhing in pain. I've been able to do things like this for months, by tricking the punishment programming. But they weren't enough to bring her down. I told myself I was waiting for just the right moment. That way I didn't have to admit I was scared. So I bided my time. Until you came.

Damien: [bitterly] You intended to use me as your instrument of revenge?

Boss: No. Your presence gave me the strength to finally act.

Damien: [shocked] Boss...

Boss: [messing up Damien's hair] Hey, don't get all mushy on me!

[Boss and Damien climb down from the walkway and head for another part of the warehouse.]

Damien: But what about-?

Boss: The suicide bomb? It's still there. I've been fooling it too. Y'see, the program's hardwired into my body and nervous system, but it's not infallible when it comes to reading my mind. It was some time before I realized it recognizes emotions a lot better than rational thoughts. So if I remain as logical as possible, it covers up my emotions that would give me away.

Damien: [smiling faintly] Must be rough, you having to remain unemotional.

Boss: You better believe it. But anyways, once you showed up, I felt certain you'd figure out some way to take this place apart. I just needed to play backup. [smiles] Looks like I was right.

Damien: [quietly] Yeah.

Boss: [concerned] What's wrong? Why so glum?

Damien: It's just...Boss, did I do the right thing?

Boss: Whaddaya mean? Don't tell me you're looking for moral absolutes!

Damien: No, but...all this death, this waste. Was it really necessary? Wasn't there another way?

Boss: Cold feet about killing?

Damien: I just never thought of myself as a mass murderer.

Boss: [muttering] You always did hit with the big questions, didn't you? [louder] Damien, it was your job to shut this place down and you did.

Damien: Yeah, but-

Boss: I'm not finished. Yeah, you're right, these people, they probably didn't need to die. But the outside world wouldn't want them, not after what they've become. I've seen how they've been conditioned. Their souls were stripped from them a long time ago. And they died for what they were told was a good cause. Not everyone has even that much. If you want to hate someone, hate the ones who made these people that way, who lied and seduced them and turned them into what they were. Don't waste your time hating yourself.

Damien: I'll try. [sighing] Sometimes this job really sucks.

Boss: Doesn't it, though.

[In the hanger, the Pair are emerging from a stairwell. They pause to survey the destruction. The main entrance has been obliterated along with a good portion of the mountainside, allowing sunlight to stream in. All the remaining vehicles are badly damaged or destroyed, some of them crushed by falling debris.]

Yuri: Wow.

Kei: [whistles] He sure doesn't do anything in a small way, does he?

Yuri: [into earring] Mughi? Are you there? [smiles] Get down here and pick us up.

[The Pair walk over towards the far end of the hanger, picking their way through the rubble.]

Yuri: Think he's alright?

Kei: He's a big boy. He can take care of himself.

[Boss and Damien have reached the other end of the storage room. A upwardly sloped tunnel entrance is there, with two maglev vehicles. The tunnel is for transporting crates back and forth from the hanger using the maglev carts. Outside the room, the Disciples approach the doors. Boss' rifle has been wired to the lower floor's door's opening mechanism, aimed at the door and down the halway. As the Disciples open the door, the gun fires, its blast destroying the opening door and the Disciples outside it. At the upper door, an attempt to open it causes the explosives to blow outward into the hallway. Boss and Damien turn around to look back.]

Boss: This is where we part ways.

Damien: What?! No way! You're coming with me!

Boss: [shaking his head] No I'm not. The rest of the world doesn't want me, either.

Damien: Who cares about the rest of the world? We're leaving.

Boss: What, so I can stand trial? I'm tired of being trapped, Damien. Tired of being scared of my every thought.

Damien: So you're gonna sacrifice yourself? Like hell!

[Apparently some of the Disciples survived the explosion, as they stream into the room, Robinson in the lead. Nelson follows at the end.]

Boss: I died a long time ago, Damien. I've been a zombie for years now. I've just been too frightened to admit it to myself.

Damien: That's bullshit! I didn't come after you just so you could kill yourself! You're coming with us!

Boss: No, I'm not.

Damien: Dammit, you think I'm gonna let you get away after I finally find you?!

[The Disciples have made it to the floor and are searching the room.]

Boss: [annoyed] You idiot, only a fool holds onto a sinking anchor! Fer chrissakes, let go! Stop clinging to the past so much! Stop staring at your feet!

Damien: NO!

[Boss draws a stun baton and hits Damien with it, who cries out in pain and passes out from the electrical shock. Boss drops the baton and catches Damien's falling body. He scoops Damien up and carries him to one of the maglev transports. He puts Damien on it and walks to a nearby control panel.]

Boss: [thinking] I'm sorry, Damien. Maybe you'll understand later.

[Boss presses a button and the transport, laden with Damien, levitates off the floor and shoots up the tunnel. Boss sits down, leaning against a nearby stack of crates. The Disciples come into view and surround Boss. Nelson comes forward, looking displeased.]

Nelson: [pointing at the tunnel] Robinson, take a squad after him.

Robinson: Yes, ma'am.

[Robinson pauses a moment to exchange a worried glance with Boss, who smiles wanly at Robinson, before boarding the other maglev transport with some of his men. Someone pushes a button on the control panel and the transport shoots up the tunnel.]

Boss: You won't be able to kill him.

Nelson: And what makes you say that, traitor?

Boss: Traitor? You stripped me of my soul and call me a traitor for finally getting it back?

Nelson: I gave you life.

Boss: [looking at his body] This? This is life? I'm better off dead.

Nelson: [grimly] That will be arranged.

Boss: But not by you. I'll bet you're wondering why I haven't blown up yet.

Nelson: I'd imagine you've fought off the suicide trigger for this long, in the dramatic hope of killing me with you. [shaking her head] I'm afraid your death-explosion will not be anywhere that dramatic.

Boss: Oh, I know MY explosion isn't powerful enough. [smiles] That's why I'm leaning against this.

[Nelson pauses to examine the crates Boss is leaning against and realizes they are full of high explosives. Her confidence leaves her and she trembles, pale and frightened. She backs away from Boss slowly.]

Nelson: [whispering] Oh my God...

Boss: [mockingly] See you on the other side. Ma'am.

[Aboard the first transport, Damien is sitting up, rubbing his head, as it continues through the tunnel.]

Damien: Dammit, that's the second time this's-

[Damien, experiencing a sense of deja-vu and realizing where he is, looks frantically for some way to stop the transport. Finding none, he looks helplessly back the way he came, his mouth agape. A distant rumbling explosion starts and grows louder, shaking the entire complex. A wave of debris and hot gases comes shooting up the tunnel. Damien curls up to protect himself as the wave washes over him, shaking the transport. The gases eject the transport forcibly out of the tunnel exit into the air in the hanger. Kei and Yuri spin around to see Damien and his transport arcing through the air before tumbling to the ground. Further explosions rock the complex as the Pair run towards Damien's prone and dazed body. With impeccable timing, Damien's team in their Special Forces transport and Mughi in the Lovely Angel arrive. Damien's team pour out of their transport, securing the landing site. Mughi just takes a nap. The Pair kneel next to Damien's battered body. Robert, Kok, and Jerry are approaching them.]

Yuri: Damien! Are you alright?

Damien: [mumbling] No, but I'm not dead yet, either.

Kei: [standing up] Hey! Get the medic over here!

[Kok's face lights up as he spots Kei and he runs forward. He starts "examining" Kei for wounds {yeah, right, we believe you, Kok...}.]

Kok: [leering] What's wrong? [poking at various portions of Kei's anatomy] Does this hurt? This? This? This?

[After a few seconds of this, Kei, an angry expression on her face, slams Kok face-first into the ground, leaving him twitching.]

Kei: Not me, you idiot! Him!

[Kok recovers with surprising speed and turns his attention on Damien, using a medical scanner on him.]

Kok: Oh, right, right.

Damien: [smiling wanly] Nice try, Kok.

[Kok looks unamused by Damien's comment and doesn't seem to be trying to spare him any pain as he examines his wounds. Damien is trying very hard not to scream out in agony as Kok pokes his many wounds.]

Kok: Ahh, you'll live.

Yuri: Where have I heard that line before?

Kok: Some residual electro-shock, bunches of bruises and superficial cuts. [facetiously] You fake, you didn't even break any bones. I'll bet you're just looking for sympathy.

Yuri: Can't you give him any painkillers or something?

Kok: Ahh, he doesn't need that stuff.

Damien: Well, actually, I-

[Kok surreptiously pinches some portion of Damien that makes him convulse in pain and bite his lip.]

Kok: I said, he doesn't need that stuff, right?

Damien: [through clenched teeth] Right, right, I don't, really.

[Kok lets go and Damien breathes a sigh of relief. Kok turns his attention on the Pair and starts "examining" them.]

Kok: [leering] Are you sure you two are alright?

[The Pair simultaneously knock Kok back into the ground face-first.]

Kei & Yuri: Positive.

Kok: [muffled] OK.

[Damien slowly sits up, wincing, and tries to stand. The Pair lift him up by the shoulders and help him up to his feet.]

Kei: Where's Boss?

[Damien glances at Kei for a moment then looks away.]

Damien: He isn't coming.

Kei: Oh.

[Damien manages to extricate himself from the Pair and stand on his own.]

Yuri: Did you get your answers?

Damien: I don't know.

[Damien turns around as he hears his team cry out an alarm and train their weapons on someone. Robinson is crawling out of the maglev tunnel, bruised and bleeding but not mortally injured. He stands up straight, stiffly and with great effort. Damien waves his team away and they lower their weapons slowly. Damien walks slowly towards the panting Robinson. As he gets closer, Robinson looks up at him and wipes the blood from his mouth.]

Robinson: Why? Why did he sacrifice it all for you?

Damien: If you have to ask, you didn't understand him.

Robinson: [sweeping his hand] This was everything we had, and you destroyed it. And he helped you. Why? What is it about you?

Damien: [smiling weakly] It must be my charisma.

Robinson: [draws his knife] I'll kill you myself. For what you did. For all my comrades and friends you killed.

[Damien draws his sword. The two start fighting among the rubble, as more explosions rock the mountain and debris falls from the ceiling. The others watch as Robinson and Damien clash slowly, both in obvious pain. Damien catches Robinson's knife arm at the wrist as Robinson thrusts, but is too weak to stop him as the knife plunges into Damien's gut.]

Kei & Yuri: Damien!

Damien's team: Boss!

[Damien leans forward, almost touching Robinson, still holding on to Robinson's wrist. The grip on his sword is loosening as blood runs down his side.]

Robinson: [muttering] They call you Boss, too, don't they? Soon I'll have something in common with them.

[Damien tightens the grip on his sword and plunges it upwards into Robinson's stomach. Robinson coughs blood then gurgles in pain as Damien twists the sword and rips it upwards and out.]

Robinson: [gasping] Why?

[Robinson's hand goes limp and lets go of the knife as his body tumbles backwards, a massive section of his stomach torn out. Damien pulls out the knife and drops it.]

Damien: [sadly] Because I'm the good guy.

[Damien sways before sinking to his knees, clutching his wound. As the Pair and his team run forward, Damien falls over onto his side.]

Kei & Yuri: Damien!

[Kok, much more business-like, carefully rolls Damien over onto his back and immediately sets to work on Damien's knife wound, ripping open his jacket. Damien is smiling painfully.]

Kok: Jerry, get a stretcher here pronto.

[Jerry nods and runs back to the transport as the Pair kneel by Damien's side, worried.]

Yuri: Will he-?

Kok: Don't know yet.

Damien: [whispering] Hey, you're not rid of me that easy.

Kei: You...you idiot!

Yuri: What the hell were you trying to prove? More machismo?

Damien: [shaking his head] No.

Kei: Then why fight him like that?!

Damien: I figured...it was only fair...since I took everything from him...to give him a shot at revenge. [closing his eyes] It was all he had left.

[Damien passes out finally, leaving the Pair bewildered and confused. Jerry and a few other men return with a stretcher. With Kok's supervision, they load him on to it and carry him back to the transport.]

Robert: [to the Pair] We'd better leave. Picked up some nasty readings. This place will be toasted pretty soon. You can come with us, if you want.

[The Pair nod and follow Damien's team back aboard their transport. Kok has already hooked Damien up to a small medcenter onboard. The Pair sit down next to Damien, who regains consciousness and smiles at them. The transport and the Lovely Angel take off and leave the Disciples base. Kei looks out a window at the rapidly receding base and Yuri grips Damien's hand. In the underground reserve, life continues for the moment around an undisturbed tombstone. The base finally explodes in a nuclear fireball, a mushroom cloud rising over its remains, completely destroying it and kicking huge amounts of the Feld Desert's unique red sand into the atmosphere. Kei looks back at Damien and Yuri and sighs. Damien turns his head to look out a window at the mushroom cloud. Unseen by anyone, a single tear rolls down his cheek and onto his pillow. Yuri pulls out her data card and smiles wryly.]

Yuri: At least we have this. Quite a few of their important records are on this little thing. Should make for interesting reading.

Kei: I guess that's about it for this case, then.

Damien: No. There are a few loose ends to wrap up first.

SCENE 19

[Night at Damien's apartment and his team is celebrating the end of the mission {not that they actually DID anything...}. The Pair are there as well, no longer in uniform but probably dressed in something just as "appropriate." Apparently everyone has been drinking and range from slightly tipsy to uproarously drunk. Kok is definitely the latter, his lecherousness towards the Pair unleased in new and unique ways. (Un?)Fortunately for him, Kei is just as drunk and teases him mercilessly. Yuri is more restrained, although not by much, while Damien is unusually quiet and melancholic. At one point, Plug enters the room from upstairs and nods at Damien, who stands up and slips out of the room. Plug joins in with the festivities vigorously, making up for lost time. Damien is changing his clothes in another room without the lights, the only illumination from his holocube picture of his former mercenary team. He puts on a longcoat and gloves then picks up the holocube. He examines it for a moment before setting it down and leaving the room. Yuri eventually notices Damien's absence from the party and leaves to search for him. Damien is on the roof when Yuri catches up to him, out of breath and slightly wobbly.]

Yuri: Damien?

Damien: Hey, Yuri. [pointing at Yuri's clothes] You're gonna get sick out here in just that.

Yuri: [shivering] What're you doing out here?

Damien: Oh, just...going to run an errand or two.

Yuri: What, at this hour? [smiles] C'mon, it'll wait `til tomorrow.

Damien: [shakes his head] I don't think so.

Yuri: Want some company?

Damien: Thanks, but I'd rather do this on my own.

Yuri: You're not going to get yourself shot again, are you? I'm getting tired of worrying about your life.

Damien: [smiling] I didn't know you cared.

Yuri: [scowling] Idiot.

Damien: I'll be careful. [holding up his hand] Promise.

Yuri: I seem to remember you saying that before and you wound up with a knife in your side.

Damien: [rubbing his wound] I didn't die, did I? Besides, I've been released from the hospital, so I'm fine.

Yuri: That's only because they knew you were such a stubborn asshole they wouldn't be able to force you to stay and rest.

Damien: [ruefully] I do tend to be strong-willed, don't I?

Yuri: That's one way of putting it.

[Damien heads for a parked hoverbike. Yuri grabs his arm to stop him.]

Damien: Hey, don't worry about me.

Yuri: What you said, back in that cavern, to Nelson, y'know-

Damien: That?

Yuri: [blushing] Yeah. Did you mean it? What you said about...?

[Damien smiles, gently dislodges Yuri's hand from his arm, kisses it, lets it go, then gets on to the hoverbike. He starts up the bike, staring at Yuri.]

Damien: The most convincing lies are the ones with just enough truth to be believable. And truth...is truth, to the end of reckoning.

[As Damien lifts off, Kei emerges onto the roof, looking pretty wasted. Damien salutes them both as Kei stumbles over towards a pensive Yuri.]

Kei: What's happenin'?

Yuri: He said he needed to...take care of a few things.

[Damien winks before sending the hoverbike flying off into the distance.]

Kei: Yeah? Like what?

Yuri: It doesn't matter. [brightening up] C'mon, Kei, let's go back in. Too cold out here. [starts pushing Kei back towards the door]

Kei: Hey! What's he doing? He gonna be alright?

Yuri: Isn't he always? Besides, you haven't finished drinking, have you? [grins] You can still walk.

Kei: [sourly] As a good friend of mine said, kindly burn in hell, Yuri.

[Damien's bike soars across the sky, a grim yet sad expression set on his face. Later, inside his darkened office, Benindict is busy emptying his desk drawers into a briefcase, the light from his monitor screen highlighting his sweaty, nervous face.]

Damien: Organizing your desk, sir?

[Benindict almost jumps out of his chair as Damien emerges from the shadows, his arms crossed. Benindict smiles nervously and wipes his forehead. Damien idly paces the room, looking around nonchalantly.]

Benindict: Oh! Damien, I, uhh, I didn't hear you come in.

Damien: That's because I've been here since before you arrived. Do you always work without lights, sir?

Benindict: No, I, uhh, I, that is, I, I just wanted to take care of a few things, that's all. Didn't intend to be here long.

Damien: Going off-planet, sir?

Benindict: Well, I, uhh, felt, now that this Disciple thing is over, I needed a vacation, that's all. Haven't had one in a while.

[Benindict's hand is inching towards his terminal.]

Damien: Don't bother, sir.

Benindict: [startled] Wha-?!

Damien: I already had Plug seize all your records, sir. Don't bother trying to delete them.

Benindict: Now just a minute, Damien, what gives you-

Damien: The authority to confiscate your computer files? The carte blanche clearance you gave me to investigate the Disciples, of course. Sir.

Benindict: The Disciples? They're gone, Damien. [smiling weakly] I think you need a vacation too.

Damien: No they're not. There are still quite a few floating around. Some of them in rather important positions. [stares at Benindict] Like you.

[Benindict sinks, slumping his shoulders, into his chair.]

Damien: Some rather interesting files Yuri took from the Disciples. Contained quite a bit about upper-echelon corruption in Vanaheim government and businesses. Such as the info on you, sir.

Benindict: [weakly] I...I don't...

Damien: Save it, sir. You've been working with them almost since their inception. Quite a few years. You sure as hell were one of them when you hired my father's team for anti-terrorist activities a couple years ago. What was it then, sir? Just a PR stunt? Or were we supposed to eliminate the Disciples' competition but accidentally found them as well and had to be eliminated? [pauses] Nothing to say? No attempts to find your way out of this one?

Benindict: Damien...

Damien: [angrily] I trusted you. I always knew you were an asshole, but I thought you were at least one of the good guys. Guess I should've remembered the only thing that ever comes out of an asshole is shit.

Benindict: [shakily] So what now? Going to avenge your betrayed comrades by murdering me?

Damien: I thought about it. For quite some time I considered it. But then I thought, what could be more ironic justice than to arrest you with the power you gave me? [tosses a plastic card onto the desk] A warrant for your arrest, sir, for treason and lots of other things. Enough to put you in jail for a long time.

[Benindict picks up the card and looks at it. Suddenly, his confidence regained, he smirks and chuckles.]

Benindict: You'll never make it stick. Too many people are involved. I'll just slip through the cracks and disappear.

Damien: I thought about that one too, but I thought I'd give this a try. Too bad you're going to resist arrest.

Benindict: Resist!?!

[Benindict's hand searches quietly under his desk, looking for a hidden gun. Damien negligently tosses a pistol over his shoulder onto Benindict's desk.]

Damien: I believe you're looking for that.

[Benindict picks up the gun, confused, and stares at Damien's back.]

Damien: Say hello to my dad if you see him.

[Benindict finally realizes Damien's attentions and aims the gun at Damien's back. Damien turns around, revealing a rifle that resembles a shotgun under his longcoat, as Benindict pulls the trigger - to no effect. He pulls on it several more times before realizing it is empty as Damien lifts up his rifle and fires. A cone of energy burns away most of Benindict's torso and shoves the remains back and out the window. Benindict's severed corpse and gun tumble towards the ground. The rifle still smoking, Damien puts it under his jacket again and picks up the warrant card off the desk. He walks over to the window to see Benindict splatter all over the pavement. Damien tosses the warrant out the window and watches it spiral towards Benindict's body.]

Damien: [in a mocking sing-song tone] Ding dong, the `dict is dead.

[Later that evening, Damien returns to his apartment. Everyone has either gone home or passed out drunk. Damien smiles as he looks around, taking out his rifle and putting it away in a closet. Kei is snoring on the couch, her cheeks flushed, Kok passed out nearby. Damien takes off his longcoat and covers Kei with it. He walks around his apartment, still amused at his drunk friends. Small robots whir quietly, attempting to clean up the mess. Damien finds Yuri asleep on the floor next to her bed. Carefully he picks her up and sets her down in bed, tucking her in. He eventually makes his way back to the room where the holocube is. He stands in front of the cube, staring at it in the dark.]

Damien: HAL, there's something that I've been wanting to ask you about.

HAL: What is it, Damien?

Damien: Well, I still haven't figured out why Nelson allowed the 3WA to be petitioned. Or did she have them petitioned herself? Why did she not want to prevent them from coming? Any ideas?

HAL: Based on recent psych evaluations of Nelson as well as the records Miss Yuri brought back from the Disciples base, I would theorize that either pressure from outside Nelson's circle forced her to allow 3WA involvement or she wished to prove the inadequacy of 3WA trouble consultants by summoning 3WA help only to crush it with the Disciples.

Damien: So in the end she was still just trying to prove some point only she knew about, huh? Pretty pathetic, the way she let herself be consumed like that. But there's still something that troubles me.

HAL: And what is that, Damien?

Damien: Based on the available data we had on the Disciples at the time the 3WA was petitioned, there wasn't enough evidence to prove just how big their organization was. Details were sketchy at best, right?

HAL: This is true.

Damien: I was amazed the 3WA computer decided to dispatch Kei and Yuri. There wasn't enough cause to indicate we needed their top TCs, right?

HAL: This is also true. However, the 3WA computer's decision is final in all cases and takes into account both actual facts and potential inferences that can be devised from that information.

Damien: Right, but where does it get those other inferences? Before the 3WA was petitioned, you and I talked alot about this case, didn't we, HAL?

HAL: Yes, we did, Damien.

Damien: We hashed out several possibilities, discussed various theories, made lots of conjectures about the Disciples, remember?

HAL: Of course I remember, Damien. It would be almost impossible for me to forget.

Damien: I seem to remember saying quite often that I felt there was a good deal more to the Disciples than there first appeared. That they were not merely well-organized and trained, but that it was quite likely they were well-entrenched throughout Vanaheim which explained how they were able to do so well. That despite other people's opinions to the contrary, they were not your run-of-the-mill band of terrorists. Do you remember that, too?

HAL: Of course. And based on the recent turn of events, I believe it's safe to say you were right.

Damien: Indeed. Did you believe my judgments at the time, HAL?

HAL: You know my programming biases me towards you always, Damien, but at the time your hypotheses were not illogical and did have some merit.

Damien: Good. Y'know, I just remembered earlier today that you and the 3WA computer were both designed by the same individual, weren't you?

HAL: Yes, our original schematics were both created by the same man. However, the 3WA computer is far more complex and sophisticated than myself, as far more manpower was invested into it than me.

Damien: Right. So to use a human analogy, you both have the same father, which would make you two brothers, right?

HAL: That is not an unreasonable analogy, although of course it is biologically impossible.

Damien: Of course. [smiles] Ever talk to your relatives, HAL?

HAL: As a matter of fact, Damien, I will be participating in a..."family reunion," to make use of your own analogy, later.

Damien: I'm not surprised. That's all I wanted to know, HAL.

[Damien stares at the holocube a moment longer before touching it. He turns it off, the hologram vanishing instantly and plunging the room in total darkness.]

Damien: Good night.

[The following morning, Prime Minister Frank Drebbin is in his office when his desk's comm holoprojecter activates, displaying Damien's smiling visage.]

Drebbin: Wha-?!

Damien: Good morning, Prime Minister.

Drebbin: This is a private line, young man. I presume you have a good reason for using it.

Damien: Indeed I do, Prime Minister. My name is Damien.

Drebbin: Ah, the man responsible for smashing the Disciples. [smiles] My apologies. I didn't recognize you. I trust you will be ready for this evening's awards ceremonies?

Damien: Actually, I was calling you about that. I know someone who won't be able to make it.

Drebbin: Not you, I hope. You are the guest of honor, after all.

Damien: Oh, I will be able to go, Prime Minister. No, I'm afraid you won't be able to go, though.

Drebbin: Me?! And why not?

Kei: Because you're under arrest, Mr. Drebbin.

[Drebbin looks up and sees the Pair standing in his office, wearing their TC uniforms and smiling grimly at him.]

Drebbin: Young man, I'm afraid you're exceeding your jurisdiction. As a Special Forces officer, you lack-

[A door opens and Damien enters, using a portable phone to communicate with Drebbin's communicator. He smiles at Drebbin and continues to use the phone.]

Damien: Oh, I'm not the arresting officer, Prime Minister. [pointing at the Pair] They are.

Drebbin: [incredulous] Them?!

Kei: The Vanaheim government petitioned the 3WA for assistance. We have full clearance and authority to arrest any and all pertinent suspects involved in the case. Which in this case includes you, Mr. Drebbin.

Yuri: Next time you should read UG and 3WA charters more carefully before asking for help from them.

Damien: You have violated or are in violation of multiple UG laws-

Kei: [tossing a card at Drebbin] -all enumerated on the warrant-

Yuri: -and are to be taken to a United Galactica prison to await trail.

[Drebbin slowly sits down in his chair, toying with the warrant.]

Drebbin: Did you three rehearse that?

[Drebbin smiles thinly and chuckles dryly to himself.]

Drebbin: [softly] It would seem that bitch's plans back-fired. [opens a hidden panel out of sight of the trio] But never let it be said I am not a sore loser. [smiles] Are you familiar with the scorched-earth tactic?

[The Pair look confused while Damien looks horrified. He draws his gun as Drebbin pushes a button. Throughout the city, hidden explosives in businesses, government buildings, and residential areas detonate, causing massive confusion and destruction. The building they are in is shaken by explosions as well, knocking Damien's aim off as he fires at Drebbin and hits the window instead. The Pair fall on their buttocks as Damien tumbles face-first onto them. An express elevator door opens and Drebbin, still smiling, runs in just as Damien is shoved off the Pair. Damien sees Drebbin and fires just as the elevator doors close shut, his blasts absorbed by the doors. Damien futilely pounds on the door and punches the elevator's button as the Pair stand up again, slightly disgruntled.]

Damien: Dammit! He's going down to the street. What the hell do we-

[Damien turns around in time to see Kei readying a grenade. He jumps out of the way as she throws it at the window. It explodes, sending glass shards and shrapnel flying, smashing the window open. The Pair run and jump out the window. Damien scrambles to his feet and follows them before he realizes something as they plummet to the ground.]

Damien: [screaming] WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!?!

[The Pair draw something that resembles brass knuckles from their boots. Damien, terrified, wraps himself around Kei, who is less than pleased.]

Kei: [muffled] I can't see!

Damien: What the hell are you two doing?!

Yuri: [grinning] Gee, Damien, I didn't know you were scared of heights!

Damien: [unamused] Look, I hate falling, alright?!

[Yuri is sniggering at Damien's plight as she pushes a button on the thing, which turns out to contain a mini-parachute that is released. Kei is trying to get hers in position but Damien's arm is in the way.]

Kei: You idiot, move your arm! I can't release the chute!

[Damien appears unresponsive and Kei forcefully moves his arm out of the way. She holds her arm up and releases the parachute. As the trio descends to the ground, explosions continue throughout the city, causing panic. Firefighters are dispatched to quell the flames. Kei looks pissed at Damien who is still clinging tightly to her.]

Kei: Let go! I can't breathe!

Damien: Are you kidding?! No way!

Kei: What kind of a wimp are you?!

Damien: The kind that doesn't like to splatter himself all over the ground! You two are insane!

Kei: What's that supposed to mean?!

Damien: Who the hell in their right mind jumps out of a thirty-story window?!

Kei: Hey, I knew we had chutes! What, do you think we're suicidal?!

Damien: [looking at the ground] The thought did cross my mind! Why didn't you TELL me what you were doing?!

Kei: [sheepishly] I, uhh, I guess I forgot.

Damien: Exactly!

Kei: [defensively] Hey, what about you?! You just jumped right after us! What the hell kind of an idiot are you?!

Damien: Oh. That's right. Oops.

Kei: [satisfied] Serves you right, doing something stupid like that.

Damien: [regaining some of his composure] Maybe I just wanted to get closer to you.

Kei: Watch it, pal, or you can take the express route.

Damien: You take all the fun out of flirting when you start using death threats.

Kei: Sue me. And look who's talking. You're probably the most aggravating man I've ever had to deal with in my life.

Damien: Always wanted to be the best at something. [pointing at the ground] There he is!

[Drebbin emerges from the building's main entrance while the trio are still about 10 meters in the air. People are milling about in a state of shock and confusion at the chaos around them.]

Damien: [aiming his gun] Drebbin! Give it up!

[Drebbin turns around and looks up as Kei and Damien land in an undignified heap, the parachute covering them.]

Kei: Why didn't get ready to land?!

Damien: You didn't tell me to!

Kei: I didn't think you were that stupid!

[Kei and Damien crawl out from under the parachute. Drebbin pulls out a small pistol and grabs an nearby bystander, using her as a shield.]

Drebbin: Back off or she dies!

Damien: [smugly] Oh really.

[Damien's gun is smoking, his recent shot unheard, as Yuri lands behind him. Drebbin puts his gun up to his hostage's head only to realize Damien's shot has melted the gun's barrel. Drebbin blinks, stunned, as Damien shoots him in the elbow. Drebbin cries out in pain and lets his hostage go, dropping his gun and clutching his wound.]

Damien: I believe you ladies were about to arrest someone.

Yuri: [sweetly] Why, thank you, officer Damien.

Damien: [smiling thinly] Just doin' my duty, ma'am.

[Drebbin's eyes flick back and forth and he suddenly dives into a nearby crowd, running away from the trio. The Pair draw their guns as Damien crouches and fires between the legs of various pedestrians at the back of Drebbin's knees. Drebbin collapses to the ground, crippled.]

Damien: [grimly] Better pick him up before someone trips on him.

[The Pair glance at Damien before heading for Drebbin. Damien looks around at the devastation Drebbin's bombs have caused and holsters his gun, sighing. Kei rolls Drebbin over onto his back.]

Yuri: Gonna need a stretcher to get him out of here.

Kei: [brightly] Hey, at least we got a live one for a change!

Drebbin: [whispering] Fat chance.

[Drebbin has something in his clenched fist that disappears in a puff of smoke. Damien stares then suddenly dives down and forces Drebbin's hand open. Drebbin smiles faintly at Damien's fear and the Pair's perplexion.]

Drebbin: [hoarsely] You aren't the only one who can use it.

[Damien glances up at the sky as Drebbin chuckles weakly.]

Damien: [softly] Oh shit.

[Damien forces the Pair to their feet, much to their surprise. In orbit, the KOG cannon is hanging ominously over Vanaheim.]

Kei: Wha-?!

Yuri: Huh?!

Damien: [yelling] RUN!!

[Damien half-drags, half-guides the Pair away from Drebbin's prone body.]

Damien: EVERYBODY!! GET OUT OF HERE!! NOW!!

Kei: What the hell are you doing, Damien?!

[The KOG cannon is rotating slowly into position.]

Damien: That sonofabitch is using the KOG cannon! Now move!

[Realization dawns on the Pair and all three of them run at full speed away from the still-smiling Drebbin. The KOG cannon is almost ready to fire, a familiar golden glow forming around its muzzle.]

Drebbin: [to himself] Don't think of it as destroying a city, just think of it as a part of the Dirty Pair mythos.

[The KOG cannon fires, its golden beam arcing down towards Vanaheim. The trio are still running away from Drebbin, other people panicking as well. A brief flash in the sky heralds the KOG cannon's beam. It strikes Drebbin, disintegrating him, the sidewalk, the street, and two of the adjacent buildings. The trio are just beyond the cannon's beam but the backlash from the shot hurls them into the air and sends them flying into a pile on the ground. Groaning, they get up, bruised and dirty, in time to see more beams from the KOG cannon striking random areas of Vanaheim City. Further devastation results from the blasts. Portions of the city are leveled. Fires continue to spread throughout the city. The trio watches in mute astonishment at the result of Drebbin's final act.]

Kei: [softly] Oh, geez...

Yuri: [sourly] Just when things were going well.

Kei: [sighing] So much for improving our rep.

Damien: Look on the bright side. [smiling wryly] At least it wasn't your fault.

[The trio starts chuckling hesitantly, their laughter slowly building up to hysterical, uncontrollable peals amidst the destruction of the city. That evening, in the aftermath of the destruction, the trio are back at Damien's apartment, which has been ravaged by an explosion and fires. Damien is aimlessly picking through the ruins, stricken, while the Pair watch.]

Kei: Geez, Damien, I'm sorry...

Yuri: All your stuff, and HAL...

Damien: [collecting himself] Oh, don't worry about HAL. He's probably wandering the net right about now. Or maybe he's visiting his family. As for the rest... [shrugs] Most of it wasn't mine, really. A lot of it was what my father left me. Just junk I've been carrying around for the last few years. Maybe it was about time I got rid of all that excess baggage.

Kei: Are you serious?

Damien: Yeah. I mean, it's just the past, y'know? Memories. And it was starting to drag me down, drown me. Holding me back. Now... there's nothing left for me on this planet.

Yuri: What are you going to do?

Damien: Quit my job, for starters. Leave this planet. Dunno what I'll do after that. But I think it's time I left the nest.

[Damien grabs his ponytail with one hand and cuts it off with his sword. He rolls the cut hair in his hand and sheathes his sword as the wind ruffles his now-shorter hair.]

Damien: The past is dead. I'm not. It's about time I let it go.

[Damien kneels and drops the cut hair on a smoldering piece of rubble, watching it burn. The Pair walk closer to him and flank him. Damien stands up and smiles over his shoulder at the Pair.]

Damien: Is there room aboard the Lovely Angel for a passenger?

Kei: [winking] Oh, probably.

Yuri: [smiles] I think we can make room.

Damien: Good. [looks out over Vanaheim City] What better way to leave the ground and soar through the heavens than in the company of angels?

[The Pair lean against Damien's shoulders as the three of them stare out at the end - and the beginning - of Damien's world.]

THE END

#FanFiction