DnA 8-8: 2nd International Virus Contest
Announcing The Second International Virus Writing Contest
Sponsored by
American Eagle Publications, Inc.
P.O. Box 41401
Tucson, AZ 85717 USA
and
The Crypt Infosystems BBS
+1 (818) 683-0854
The Goal
The purpose of this contest is to write a fully functional computer virus that entertains people with political satire. Viruses will be judged on the basis of originality, creativity, functionality, and political incorrectness.
Eligibility
Anyone who can write a computer virus is eligible.
Contest Dates
The contest is underway from January 1, 1994 until June 30, 1994. Your submissions must be received by June 30 to qualify. The winner of the contest will be announced at the DEFCON conference in Las Vegas, July 22-24, 1994. If you can be present, an official award will be bestowed on you at that time.
Details
The philosopher Friedrik Nietzsche once said that if you want to kill something, you must laugh at it--and laugh at it deeply. So there should be little wonder that political satire is as old as politics itself.
Is there something going on in the political arena that you abhor, that makes you sick, that is just plain wrong? Well, here's your chance to make a mockery of it. I've always had this idea that if someone wrote a sufficiently witty virus that really addressed the issues the way the people (not the press, not the politicians) saw them, it might just get passed around by people voluntarily.
Let's find out.
Write a virus that is itself a political satire. I don't mean a virus that simply displays a message. I mean a living entity whose every move--whose every action--is politically motivated. If you need more than one virus to make your point--perhaps two viruses working together, or something like that, that is fine.
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Let me give you a simple example: The Political Correctness Virus
This virus is a spoof on the "political correctness" movement--which is just a form of self-imposed censorship-- that is sweeping american intellectual circles, particularly colleges and universities.
This virus is a memory resident boot sector virus which maintains a list of politically incorrect words on your computer system. It also hooks the keyboard interrupt and monitors every keystroke you make. If you type a politically incorrect word into the computer, the PCV springs into action.
Politically incorrect words are ranked at three different offense levels. When the PCV encounters such a word, it determines what offense level that word is, and acts accordingly.
The least offensive words merely register a beep. More offensive words cause a beep to sound for 10 seconds. The most offensive words cause a siren to sound for two minutes, locking the system for that duration. If you turn the computer off before the two minutes are up, the virus will stop the boot process for five minutes, with sirens, when you turn it back on. If you allow the siren to complete, then you can proceed.
The virus has two different word lists, both stored in an encrypted and compressed format. The list is selected at random when the system is infected, after which it cannot be changed. The first list is the "proper" list of political correctness no-no's. For example, a word like "sodomite" is among the worst possible offenses. The second list is an inverted list of no-no's. This list trys to force you to use "sodomite" by flagging words like "gay" and "homosexual" as no-no's.
If you allow the PCV to live in your system for three months without getting a single flag, you are given the supreme honor of viewing the word list assigned to you and adding a word to it. If you get more than 3000 flags in a lifetime, the virus will force you to enter a politically correct word before allowing you to start the computer, since you are obviously unwilling to submit to its censorship.
The virus also uses powerful means to prevent disinfection, so that, once you get it, you can't get rid of it without a major effort.
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Now, I know you can get a lot more creative than this--so do it! Design your virus carefully, so that everything it does has meaning. Then send it in.
Here are the criteria we'll use:
- Originality: Your virus must be an original work. Do not send us anything that is not 100% yours. Your message should be original too. Do not just ape what everybody else is saying, especially the media. Also, a refined wit is much to be preferred over vulgarity. Vulgarity is a substitute for original wit. Foul language, porn, etc., are out. Destructive features should be incorporated only if they are VERY appropriate (perhaps if you are commenting on real live genocide in your country, or something like that). In general, though, destructive features will hurt you, not help you. The one exception is modifying anti-virus programs. That is considered to be CONstructive activity.
- Creativity: Make us laugh, make us cry. Amaze us with how bits and bytes can say something about politics and issues. Think of it like this: displaying a message on the screen is like reading a text file. What we want is the equivalent of a multi-media extravaganza. Use all the system's resources to tell your message. Don't be afraid to write a virus that has some weird mode of infecting programs that tells a story, or to write one that sends faxes to the White House, or sends an automatic request for reams of free information to some government agency.
- Functionality: The virus has to work. If it only works on some machines, or under some versions of DOS, or what-not, then that will count against you. The better it is at infecting systems and moving around, the better off you will be. So, for example, if you write a file-infector, make sure it can jump directories, and--if you're up to it--migrate across a network.
- Political incorrectness: Since computer viruses are politically incorrect, their message should be too. If you send us a pro-establishment virus, then you will not win this contest. A word to the wise: think twice about what's correct and what's not. Many positions are only superficially incorrect, though they are really quite fasionable among the establishment. Look at it this way: if you could get a well- written letter expressing your view published in a big city newspaper, then it's not sufficiently incorrect. There are a LOT of ideas that are unofficially censored by society-- especially the media and academia. They tend to make themselves out to be the rebels, but they are really the establishment. If you can't think of anything creatively incorrect and sufficiently obnoxious then you shouldn't be writing viruses in the first place.
How to Submit an Entry
You may mail your entry to American Eagle Publications at the above address, or you may e-mail it to ameagle@mcimail.com. Alternatively, you can submit it by dialing the Crypt Infosystems BBS and uploading it there. To get on to the system quickly, efficiently and anonymously, log on as VIRUS, using the password CONTEST.
An entry consists of:
- A complete copy of your virus, both source and executable files.
- If the political satire isn't perfectly obvious, send a verbal description of how the virus works and why it does what it does. This is especially important if you are not an American and you are commenting on something that has not received worldwide attention. I don't care if you're Bulgarian and you're commenting on something we've never heard of--just make sure you explain it, or we won't understand and you'll lose.
- If you want to be recognized for your work, include your name (real or handle), and a way we can get in contact with you.
By submitting an entry, you grant American Eagle Publications, Inc. the right to publish your virus in any form. You agree not to make your virus public prior to July 25, 1994. If you do, you are automatically disqualified from the contest.
For the sake of privacy, you may encrypt your entry and send it in with the following PGP key (which we highly recommend if you have PGP):
-----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
Version: 2.1
mQCNAi09jVgAAAEEAN3M9LFQXeBprkZuKo5NtuMC+82qNd3/8saHLO6iuGe/eUai
8Vx7yqqpyLjZDGbAS7bvobrcY3IyFeu8PXG4T8sd+g81P0AY0PHUqxxPG3COvBfP
oRd+79wB66YCTjKSwd3KVaC7WG/CyXDIX5W6KwCaGL/SFXqRChWdf2BGDUCRAAUR
tApDT05URVNUXzk0
=Z20c
-----END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----Good luck!
PRIZES
In addition to instant worldwide fame and recognition, you'll get:
- A cash prize of $100 US.
- A year's subscription to Computer Virus Developments Quarterly.
- Your virus will be published in Computer Virus Developments Quarterly, and other fine journals.
- A handsome engraved plaque recognizing your contribution to the betterment of mankind.
- A free secret surprise that we cannot tell you about right now, valued at $100.
Two runner-ups will receive the secret surprise.
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!! GO FOR IT !!
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