The narrow gate 8
Issue #8 Jan. 1999
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Letter From Shauna
- Our Mailbag
- A Note About Santa
- News of our readers (yes you!)
- Advertising Info
- Submission Info For TNG (for writers)
- All That Official Info
- Subscribe/Unsubscribe
- Snail Mail Addy
- Our Church
LeTtEr FrOm ShAuNA
I'm in the process of moving, and in sorting all the junk I've found pictures I forgot existed. Like me in eighth grade standing with Jen, a girl who's manner rivaled a scorned Allanis Morrisette when her boyfriend dumped her. Why? Because he asked ME to be his girlfriend after he dumped her.
I hadn't set out to take Jen's boyfriend. I didn't chase after him like the other girls did. In fact, I beat him in basketball (on purpose), and went out of my way to ignore him. This apparently set me apart, because he became determined to show me up, and in doing so challenged me to a game of Roman Knuckles. He beat me so badly my wrists hurt for two days.
In eighth grade Roman Knuckles is the equivalent of foreplay. (OK, not foreplay. Bad choice of words. However, there's truth to that "lovers tap" theory. Some of the boys I liked most were the ones I wanted to smack upside the head--if only to get their attention!)
Anyway, Jen was not happy about my new romance. She called me repeatedly, begging me to dump the boy or "give him back"--as if he were a pair of gloves I could return. What a guilt trip she put me on, opting to look stricken in school, and play the part of a bereaved martyr. I felt bad for her, really, but I would have felt worse without the boy. So when Jen's sackcloth and ashes routine didn't work, she decided to try something else.
She punched me in the mouth.
After some verbal abuse involving our state of purity or lack thereof, a few derogatory comments about mothers, and a fight more laughable than deadly, Jen went home. I came out relatively unscathed in the scuffle (save for a bloody lip) and I later thought to myself that I probably deserved to punched.
I did not like to feel so . . . wrong. It is not pleasant to be punched and feel you DESERVE it. I couldn't even work up some decent anger against Jen. I was, in a sense, the bad guy.
To assuage my guilt I pondered every slight Jen ever gave me. Like when she poked fun at me in front of the other kids, or that time she flaunted the fact that she wore a size 2, and I wore a size 5. Come to think of it, Jen was always a little too competitive with me . . . .
This mindset squelched my guilt for a while, or at least put a little salve on my emotions.
It was fun to be in love, to experience a newfound popularity with other boys, who were known to get into fist fights over me. I become queen of the juvenile delinquents, and was a source of envy to female friends who wondered how I managed to attract cute boys. I was no prettier than they were. My hair was badly layered, and I wore braces; yet I was living it up.
That is, until I got dumped for a cheerleader!
Actually it wasn't even a cheerleader. It was a pom pom girl, which in my school was a lower class cheerleader who shooks doo dads around, and got to wear a cute uniform for doing practically nothing. I might have resented this girl, but since she was terrified I'd beat the living daylights out of her, I pitied her. I decided to set her mind at ease.
With a smile I informed the pom pom queen that it was I who dumped the boy, not visa versa, and that I was glad to be rid of such a loser. I said this convincingly, gave her my blessings, held my chin up, then went home to secretly cry my eyes out.
As for Jen, she and I eventually buried the hatchet, though we were never as close after this. Still, we vowed that if we were going to fight in the future it would not be over something as trivial as boy.
Now let's see. What can we learn from this story? (Choose one.)
- a) Teenage boys are heartbreakers.
- b) Girls are ruthless.
- c) If you brag about being a size 2, someone will steal your boyfriend.
- d) To get chicks, you need to beat them at Roman Knuckles
- e) To get boys, you have to pretend you don't notice them.
- f) If you beat someone in basketball they develop a crush on you.
- g) To really come out on top you need to be a cheerleader.
- h) What goes around comes around.
- i) If you do something nasty to someone, just think of all the rude things they've done to you, and you won't feel so guilty about it.
- j) Punching someone in the mouth is a good way to get your point across.
Actually, the point of this story (if there really is one) is H. What goes around comes around. Or to put it another way: you reap what you sow!
OK so maybe B is true: Girls ARE ruthless. But then, I was not such a good Christian at age thirteen, so you may not want to use me as the teenage example.
Many adults are like ruthless thirteen year olds. We do wrong things, and justify our behavior by our mindset. "I can do this because so-and-so did such-and-such to me." If someone knocks our tooth out we want to break their legs. But Jesus tells us to love our enemies, do good to those who persecute us.
Much of what we do isn't even about hurting others. I didn't really have anything against Jen, and I didn't take her boyfriend to hurt her. I did it because I was infatuated, and because I cared more about my own desires than her feelings.
We may not set out to hurt people, but when we think of ourselves and do not put others first, people DO get hurt. It is more common for us to hurt our fellow man by being preoccupied with our own pleasure, than to actually have something against theme. The Bible says we show our love for God by obeying his commands--not by experiencing warm fuzzy feelings. Likewise, hatred is not always so much a negative feeling as it is putting our own selfish desires before that of others.
We can feel guilty and sorry till we're blue in the face, but this isn't what speaks volumes. Just feeling sorry doesn't help, but putting ourselves in gear to DO something does. Our actions show we are really ARE sorry, not our feeling of guilt.
----
Wow. Deep. I think next issue I'm going to delve even more into my past. Like that time I was in third grade and punched this kid for not twirling the jump rope right. That's been haunting me for years. (OK I'm kidding.)
MaILBaG
CHRISTIAN METAL RESOURCE
Shauna,
Just wanted to touch base with you and give you some information. The Christian Metal Resource Web Site is now at: http://www.christianmetal.com/cmr and my new email address is scottmoore@christianmetal.com (cool huh?)
This should be the permanent site for good. I am now part of the Christian Metal Network, dedicated to keeping metal alive. Tony Rollo at TSE networks owns the domain and is interested in making christianmetal.com a portal for Christian metal. You can find out more from him by emailing him at tony@tse.net and tell him I sent ya.
I would like you to add me to your mailing list and update me in your contacts. Let's not lose touch. I pulled out some of my old issues and checked out some of your articles in The Obligator the other day while doing research. Do you still keep any of those old zines around?
I have been putting teasers on the newsgroups lately for my newest surprise. Monday 1/11/99 I will be putting the most comprehensive report on Vengeance Rising and Roger Martinez. I follow the trail that led to his atheism, as well as feature all of the albums, every lyrics, and over 50 pages worth of stuff. Don't miss it.
And before I forget, I have started a new Christian metal forum on DejaNews. It's my version of a guestbook, so feel free to post something on it at: http://www.dejanews.com/~cmr
If there is anything I can do help, let me know.
Thanks,
Scott
~
Scott, I shall pass this news on to my readers.
The Obligator? It's funny you should mention that because I'm in the process of moving, and I found an old issue with one of my articles. I haven't written for them since '91 or '92, and it's been that long since I talked to editor, Mark Hodges, too. Lord willing he, and the rest of the old staff, are doing well. Promise me something though: please don't show those old articles to anyone. Arrrggghhh! :)
COMMENTS ABOUT LAST ISSUE
Shauna,
Hi! Enjoyed the Wilkins article, especially. Very thought-provoking! Wish I had time to write an essay by way of response. . .maybe later. Not feeling up to snuff, up to my nose in book PR & cheap Christmas paper that wants to rip. . .color comes off when it crinkles! You're right about Santa, but speaking as a person who grew up in a very unhappy situation, he's not entirely a bad idea. . .this is just my personal view. Too much commercialization, certainly. One year we declared a break -- whole family, that is -- and exchanged no gifts whatever. Gave to charity instead. It made us feel good & when the next Christmas came around, we enjoyed it more. Of course my husband and I never went ape anyway -- not that we were always able -- but it is good to stand back and try to be objective. Look at the terrible needs crying to be met.
Nice issue! Thanks again!
Have a peaceful and joyous holiday,
P h y l l i s G.
PS: Spinning Straw was a near sellout at a Seattle conference [TASH or The Association for Persons with Severe Handicaps]--! Book's appearance has a lot to do with the way things are going. Diverse City Press worked with the artist to get exactly what they wanted & the result is simply beautiful (she said without a trace of prejudice). Furthermore, miracles keep occurring. . .my husband Ray & I went to a business meeting about a week ago and it turned out that the couple in charge have an autistic son. Another attendee -- the group was quite small -- has a husband who teaches in a special ed setting. Another was a pre-school teacher. . .W o w.
BAND HAS INTERESTING GIGS
I sent a call out for readers to share their experiences as artists, writers, musicians, etc. One fellow did just that.... Musicians, next time you're about to complain about playing at Milko's Grill, remember this.
Shauna,
How about the time my band was playing outdoors for mentally challenged people at a State Institution? One of the patients got so excited he bit a chunk out of the bass player's girlfriend's arm. During the same day one of the patients was lying on the ground enjoying the music. Another patient walked up to him and proceeded to pee all over the guy on the ground. I was recording a video of an indoor concert at the same place. In the middle of the song a woman started screaming hysterically and had to be led out of the room. This is what I endure to do what I love to do.
Last month I was playing outdoors in a park. As it was cold not too many people attended. While I was singing, an alcoholic climbed the stage stairs and proceeded to play air guitar and lipsink. He did such a good job I let him remain onstage for the rest of the set.
The biggest laugh from my life as an entertainer and songwriter is that after 26 active years I still think I can make a good living with my music!
Blessings!!!!!!! Bob Dugan
All mail we receive will be considered for our Mailbag unless requested otherwise.....
A cOmmEnt aBoUt SaNtA
In our last issue I stated that I didn't care much for Santa, but I want to clarify this: TNG has no official doctrinal position on "Santa." My aversion to the fat man is a personal thing, and is based on my own opinions which are colored by my own beliefs and experiences.
I see nothing wrong with "playing" Santa. I think fantasy and the proper use of imagination are wonderful things, and I would be an idiot to say otherwise, especially since I write fantasy fiction. Actually, I think the stories of Santa are great fun, and pretending is great fun.
What I'm opposed to is parents who do not let the children know that Santa is for pretend only. Children get confused enough, so when people tell their kids "Be good. Santa is watching!" it puts Santa in this place of a god. I am not personally opposed to Santa as long as the child understands that he is a make-believe character. That's just my opinion, and it does not necessarily reflect that of TNG as a whole or our contributors.
Now about Rudolph.....
NEWS OF OUR READERS....
Jeffrey Graham writes for TEENS 4 TEENS in POWER POINT Magazine. For more info visit http://www.hfmnet.com/PowerPoint/
Valerie Hardin tied second for her poem in the Predators & Editors Readers Poll 1998: http://www.sfwa.org/prededitors/vote98.htm
This weekend Holy Cross will play City Wise Cafe (6131 N. Newark Ave in Chicago), and The Foundation Coffeehouse (308 Galena Blvd. in Aurora, IL). The band is from western Kentucky, and have experience performing and sharing. Call 773-631-WCCC or email Karen at ambass7584@aol.com for info on Friday night's concert, and Jennifer 630-906-9645 for info on Saturday night's concert.
Band have a gig coming up? Writing published lately? Will you be appearing in a show? ETC. Let our readers know! Write us and put "TNG News" in the subject.
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All That Official Info
The Narrow Gate is a free monthly e-zine geared to Christians who are musicians, writers, artists, and performers, as well as those who love the arts.
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