Tacky Yellow No Name 6
Less than an hour later, Darien, the five girls, Luna, Artemis and the two ex-generals were sitting in Raye's temple discussing the situation. Serena was hanging on to Darien's arm like there was no tomorrow but since the "disappearance" of Reeny, he seemed to be a lot more affectionate than he had been of late.
"So why is it that you want to join the scouts anyway?" Luna asked.
"Yes," Ami piped up. "I would think that there would be plenty of other things to occupy your time with. And judging from how we've gotten along in the past....."
"Well, you see," Zoisite began. "There are these thr-" He cut off quickly as Malachite elbowed him in the side.
"Uh, what my partner is trying to say is that we've become bored with mortal existence. We want to be able to use our powers again and this time we want to be on the winning side." Malachite grinned charmingly. He had been practising in front of the mirror all night but he could finally pull it off.
"Well, I guess if the girls agree then Luna and I have no problem with it," Artemis put in for one of his few lines of the fanfic.
"But we still have a problem," Ami said.
"That's right," Raye put in. "Now that Reeny is gone we have space for one more member. Unfortunately there are two people who want the job......."
"Yeah," Serena said. "Which one of you is going to take her place?"
"Well, personally I think *I* am the best qualified for this job," Zoisite said, reaching for the locket sitting on the table in front of Serena.
"Uh, excuse me. *Who* is better qualified?," Malachite asked, also making a grab for the locket. "I have way more experience than you do."
"But you taught me everything you know."
"So what? I have better hair."
Zoisite's eyes began to vibrate ever so slightly.
"Oh no! I'm not going to fall for *that* again."
Suddenly Zoisite pointed past Malachite's shoulder. "Hey! Isn't that Luke Perry?"
"Where?" Malachite turned his head but refused to release his grasp on the locket.
"MOON..." Zoisite shouted.
"Oh no you don't......PRISM!"
"POWER!" They shouted simultaneously.
BOOM!
Instead of the sickeningly sweet transformation scene which had occured when Reeny spoke those same words, there was an explosion which rocked the entire temple. The scouts and Darien dove for cover behind plants and low furniture, while outside Chad could be heard yelling, "YYAAAAAHHHH! EARRRRTTTHHHHHQUAAAAAAKKKKE!" in his rather singular, stereotypical beach-bum accent. As the dust settled, the six of them peeked out from behind their hiding places to see what was left of Malachite and Zoisite.
The latter was slumped by the side wall, shaking his head and waiting for his vision to clear. Malachite was sprawled on the floor by the opposite wall, wondering what had just hit him. He stood up slowly, rubbing his left shoulder where it had slammed into the wall. The scouts just stared. Malachite noticed them looking his way, as he stood up and brushed himself off.
"Don't worry....I'm okay."
The others remained silent, gaping at the silver-haired man.
"What's wrong with you guys? I said I'm okay.....Say, isn't it a little drafty in here?"
Zoisite, who was on his feet at this point, turned to see what everyone else was staring at. "Hey, cute outfit, Malachite.....but shouldn't you save it for...ummm, later?"
"What are you talking about, Zoisi-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Malachite looked down at himself only to find that the jeans and shirt he had donned that morning had been replaced by a rather small, hot-pink sailor fuku. "What the hell is this?????"
"Gee, I guess when you take Reeny's place you get the costume too," Ami said, stifling a giggle. The other girls were also, unsuccessfully, trying not to laugh. Malachite was hopping around trying to find a way to remove the outfit from his person.
"Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"
The five scouts were rolling on the floor laughing at this point, Darien was fumbling for his camera and even Zoisite, who rather liked the ensemble, was beginning to snicker.
"Isn't there a zipper on this stupid thing??? Zoisite... ...HELP!" Malachite twisted this way and that, trying to find a hook, a button, a snap....anything.
"Oh, I don't know. The colour's nice but you really don't have the legs for it......"
"Will you cut the sarcasm and get me out of this? Besides, you're not looking so hot yourself!"
"Whaterya talkin' about? You're the one in the fuku!"
"Yeah, but at least my hairstyle's intact, Meatball-head!"
Zoisite's hands flew to the top of his head where two pom-poms and freakishly long pigtails had formed. "Auugh! My beautiful hair!"
"Better yours than mine!"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"That your hair looks better in pink than mine does!"
"Someone get me a mirror! This can't be!"
"Read it and weep, Zoi!" Malachite laughed.
"This is incredible!," Ami cut in over the arguing of the two ex-generals.
"Flamingo-head!"
"Cross-dresser!"
"It never bothered you before!"
Ami raised her voice so that the other girls and Darien could hear her. (Not that they were listening.....This was too good to miss!)
"It seems that when Zoisite and Malachite used the moon locket at the same time, they each gained part of Chibi-Moon's costume and powers."
"Gee, I'm not sure who got the worst part of the bargain...." Lita put in.
"I'd say *we* did." Serena said.
"What are you talking about, Serena?" Darien said over the click of his camera shutter. "I'll make a mint off of these pictures. Do you realize how many people would give their left arm for hentai stuff like this?"
While Serena knocked Darien unconscious and proceeded to open the back of his camera, the other girls pulled the two ex-generals apart and tried to figure out how to get them back into their normal wardrobes. Finally, due to the fact that the scouts couldn't stop laughing, Zoisite and Malachite were placed in separate rooms while they decided what was to be done with the two of them.
****
Litebrite trudged down the streets, carrying a container of gas. As convenient as gas stations were supposed to be, he had walked around searching for one for over an hour. He stomped dejectedly onwards.
It wasn't fair. He wasn't the leader, he wasn't the smart one, and he couldn't even talk for crying out loud. Litebrite wondered if he should just give it up and become a street mime. It had been his secret dream for years. In the meanwhile, he was stuck getting ordered around by Saabbite and Notoobrite, fetching gas and doing manicures.
His fingers flew absently over the board, spelling out 'REVENGE' in huge letters, covering the board. He flicked the board's switch on and off rapidly to make the word blink, confusing a few passers-by and a cat. Yes, they would pay...
A young man wearing a yellow shirt and carrying a huge backpack stopped him.
"Hey... can you tell me where Furinkan High is?" Litebrite nodded. He opened his mouth, then stopped.
"C'mon! Can you tell me or not!" the guy hissed, getting annoyed, "Spit it out!"
Litebrite waved his hands to indicate that the guy should cross the street.
"Huh? Why are you waving your arms around like that?" the guy squinted.
Litebrite gestured frantically. The high school was right there. He would just spell out, 'CROSS HERE', but he was loathe to ruin his handiwork. Notoobrite had severely chastised him one time for walking around with a picture of a duck on his board for a week... well, it had been very well done.
"I don't understand! OH, am I cursed to wander this country forever!? Just you wait, RANMA!" the guy shouted. Litebrite took a step backwards in alarm.
"Maybe I can help!" A young boy ran over.
Litebrite nodded and repeated the gestures.
"What's that, Flipper?" the boy said.
Flipper? Litebrite scowled and tried again.
"Quick! He says, there's people in trouble!" the boy yelled.
Litebrite snarled and pointed across the street again.
"It's at the pier! People are dying! We have to hurry! Thanks, Flipper!" The boy ran off. The first guy wandered away. Litebrite stomped up and down in fury.
****
Tuxedo Mask looked around. Misty, palace, princess. The Dream again! He cursed inwardly.
"What do you want NOW Serena?" he bellowed up to the figure on the balcony.
"I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed the Haaaaaaaaaaagen-Daaaaaaaaaaaas," she whispered eerily.
"Look, that stuff's expensive!" Tuxedo Mask replied.
"It is your desssssssssssssssssssssstinyyyyy..." the voice tried.
"To buy you ice cream." Tux stated flatly.
"Preciselyyyyyyyyy............," the voice continued, "Blueberrrrrrry would be niiiice, but reeeeememberrrrr, chocolate fudge swiiiiiiiiiiiirl!" She faded from view. Tuxedo Mask snarled and made an obscene gesture at the balcony.
"I saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!" The voice hissed, "Just for that.............. I want a pretty goldfish, too, too!"
****
Notoobrite and Saabbite sat in the car. Saabbite twiddled his thumbs and Notoobrite hummed the theme song to Spiderman incessantly.
"This sucks. There we were, waiting for Malachite to lead us to Zoisite, and then we run out of gas. That lowlife peon, Litebrite!"
"He's handy enough. And he does do awesome manicures," Notoobrite admired her nails.
"And how!" Saabbite also looked at his nails.
"Finally!" said Notoobrite as Litebrite appeared with the gasoline.
****
"I have to go to the pet store now," Darien said groggily.
"Why?" Serena asked, innocently enough.
"I'm sorry, I can't let you stand in the way of my quest. We can't see each other any more." He ducked. Sure enough, Lita's fist went sailing right where his head would have been.
Darien scrambled to his feet and jumped out the window.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Not *again*!" Serena bawled.
"Let's get him!" Lita growled as she leapt out the window after him. Raye followed, then Serena, then Ami. Mina struck a dramatic pose before she ran off, too.
****
Meanwhile, Malachite and Zoisite wandered out of their separate rooms, normally attired again.
"It wore off!" Zoisite sighed.
"I do NOT want to go through that again. You can have that silly brooch," Malachite said. Zoisite looked at him.
"SPANDEX!?" he shrieked.
Malachite blushed. "Well, I wanted to look like a hero.. and Chad's exercise stuff was in the closet.... Super heroes wear spandex. Everyone knows that. HEY. I'm talking here. Look at my FACE, would you?"
"Hmmmmm?" Zoisite still hadn't looked up. Malachite swatted him upside the head. Zoisite snapped his gaze up.
"Hey, where'd they all go?" Malachite mumbled, perplexed.
****
Darien went up to the counter at Petorama and rang the bell. He was greeted with a little shriek. Puzzled, Darien peered over the counter top.
A little man with a cheery blue vest on popped up, grimacing. After a moment, Darien realized the man was trying to smile.
"HI!" yelled the man.
"Um, hi... I'd like to get a fish please," Darien said.
"A fish! You want a fish! Well isn't that nice! That's great! That's all, right? You won't hurt me?" The guy had an apprehensive look.
"No, no I won't hurt you...," Darien said slowly.
"Hee heee, don't mind me, my psychiatrist says it's good to laugh, hee hee hee!" The man trotted off down the aisles to the fish section.
"Any fish in particular, hee hee!?" he yelled.
"A, um, pretty one---OOOOF!"
"We've got you now, you lout!" Lita yelled from atop Darien. She had tackled him and now he was sprawled on the floor.
"AAAAAIEEE!" shrieked the little pet store guy.
"You loser! What were you talking about, your QUEST!?" Serena yelled.
****
"Hey! There they are!" Malachite shouted to Zoisite as they ran along the streets (Malachite drawing quite a few stares along the way, as well as forcing many a mother to clamp her hands over her child's eyes).
"To the pet store!" Zoisite panted.
****
Notoobrite swerved into the curb as Litebrite suddenly grabbed her arm and shook it.
"What is it, Flipper? You want a fish?" Saabbite snickered. Litebrite levelled him a stony glare, then gestured to the shop across the street. Petorama. They just managed to see Malachite's cape flutter out of view as their arch-enemy entered the store.
"HAHAAHAHA!" Notoobrite laughed maniacally.
"We've got them now!" Saabbite cackled. Litebrite nodded with great enthusiasm.
****
"EDDIE!" Malachite bellowed.
Eddie, the ever nervous, cowered behind the counter again.
"Don't hurt meeeeeeee!" he screamed.
"I'm sorry, Meatball-head. I don't know what got into me," Darien said softly. Raye noticed something shining on the floor by her feet. Glancing about surreptitiously, she slipped it into a pocket.
"Oh, Darien! I thought I'd lost you yet another time!" Serena squealed.
"We've got you now, Malachite and Zoisite! Prepare to DIE!" The three figures in the doorway struck dramatic, fear-inspiring poses.
"HAH! You ARE evil!" Ami yelled.
"You fight us, you fight them, too!" Zoisite motioned towards the girls and Darien.
"What, schoolgirls?" Notoobrite snorted.
"No, five schoolgirls... and look, look, the blonde one has the same freakish hairdo as-"
"Oh no! It's them!" Saabbite, in a one-in-a-billion flash of inspiration, suddenly realized that the schoolgirls looked *exactly* like the Sailor Scouts!
"OMIGAWD!" Lita yelled, staring at Malachite, "He's-"
"NO COMPARISONS TO YOUR OLD BOYFRIEND, PLEASE!" Raye swatted her on the back of her head.
Litebrite suddenly started sneezing violently. He hunched over, body wracked with the force of each huge sneeze.
"Eeeww..." Mina said.
"Can we, um, take this out of the pet store, please?" Saabbite asked politely.
"Why should we?" Zoisite demanded.
"I MIGHT GET HURT!" Eddie squealed from behind the counter, "I DON'T WANNA GET HURT!"
"That's hardly incentive!" Lita glowered.
"We, uh, we always let you finish your speeches before we attack, speaking sort of generally for the Negaverse," Notoobrite said.
"That is true..." Serena muttered.
"Payback time." Saabbite made puppy dog eyes at her.
"Very well," she agreed. They all trotted outside into the deserted alleyway, the girls transforming (Zoisite, too).
In the meantime, during the lengthy transformation sequences, the trio of villains snuck away quickly.
"I am Sailor Moon, champion of- Bloody?! Where'd they go?"
"They scampered off!"
"They ran away!"
"They chickened out!"
"I never did!"
"What?" The girls turned to face a man. He was wearing armour and his shield had a rooster on it, indicating he was some sort of knight.
"I, uh.. 'bye!" he scampered away. A trio of minstrels followed him. They watched in astonishment as the noise dwindled.
"Bravely ran away away"
"I didn't!"
"When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled"
"No!"
"Yes Brave Sir Robin turned about"
"I didn't!"
"And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet"
"I never did!"
"He beat a very brave retreat"
"Oh, lie!"
"Bravest of the brave Sir Robin"
"I never!"
.....
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, this fanfic steals everything." Sailor Mercury muttered.
"Yeah, I know, all the Monty Python references, Star Wars, Time Bandits, and that Ranma thing earlier with Ryoga, and now Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail... someone's gonna get slapped with a lawsuit, mark my words!" Sailor Mars said.
"I guess that means the fight's over then?" Jupiter was disappointed.
"No one told *them* that, look!" Sailor Chibi-Moon (aka Zoisite) raised an arm to point to the rooftop.
"Pets are loyal companions in a human's life, they should not be endangered. I, Tuxedo Mask, will not allow it!"
They all turned and gasped with unison the Rockettes might have envied, as this is the way in anime (the author pauses to say this out loud and snicker at the awful rhyming). On a rooftop opposite Tuxedo Mask stood another figure.
"The glare! The glare!" Sailor Moon shrieked as she covered her eyes. The other figure was clad in a blindingly white tuxedo outfit, exactly like Tuxedo Mask's, but minus the top hat. His mask was pale blue. White hair with green tints flowed to just past his shoulders. Malachite laughed and flourished his beloved cape.
"No more spandex?" Sailor Chibi-Moon whined.
"I enjoyed the close-fitting comfort, but the cape goes better with this, don't you think?"
"Hey! What's the big idea! You stole my unique heroic personae!" Tuxedo Mask yelled.
"Too bad, so sad. I have better hair anyway, especially since I don't have hat-head to contend with! You must always look carefully in both directions before attempting to cross the street! I am, Tuxedo Malachite!"
Tuxedo Mask growled and leapt onto a nearby narrow tree branch.
"It is imperative that you believe in yourselves and each other! Plus never run with scissors!" he spouted.
"HA!" Tuxedo Malachite leapt onto a lamp post. "Brushing in gentle circular motions removes the most plaque and is better for your gums!"
Tuxedo Mask quickly leapt onto a flagpole. "Wolverines are not for petting!"
Tuxedo Malachite cackled with glee as he leapt. "When the sign says, DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS, please do n-AUUUUUUUUU UUUUUGH!" Tuxedo Malachite screeched.
"Impaled your foot on the weathervane, eh? Amateur!" Tuxedo Mask actually giggled as he landed. Tuxedo Malachite also landed, but not nearly as gracefully, because he fell.
"Well, that certainly obeyed the laws of physics!" Sailor Mercury giggled. Everyone gave her a funny look.
****
Notoobrite swore as she drove.
"They actually joined the Scouts? WHY? HOW?"
Saabbite grimaced. "I don't know, but I never want to see Zoisite in a fuku again!" he shivered.
Litebrite tugged on Saabbite's arm.
"What is it?"
Litebrite held up a skinny man who was giggling nervously by the scruff of the neck.
"Bloody!? Who are YOU?"
"I'm Eddie.... and I don't like Malcolm! I know you want to get him and his girlfriend-"
"Who's actually a boy-" Notoobrite added.
"And I do, too! I want to join the Negaverse!" Eddie crowed.
Litebrite grinned. Finally, a lackey who was even more pathetic than him. Life was good.
****
"Ouch! Ouchouchouch!" Tuxedo Malachite swore as he hopped through the door of the pet store, leaning on Sailor Chibi-Moon's (Zoisite's) shoulder. Tuxedo Mask snickered.
Chibi-Moon frowned. "This is waaaay too confusing. From now on, I shall be the Sailor Formerly Known As Chibi-Moon!"
The Scouts groaned.
"How 'bout we just call you Sailor Zoisite?" suggested Jupiter.
The Sailor Formerly Known As Chibi-Moon considered it. "Well...OK!" Sailor Zoisite grinned charmingly, flipping one curly pink pigtail back over his shoulder.
Mercury moaned, covering her eyes. "In the interest of good taste everywhere, may I suggest that we all transform back?"
Sailor Zoisite coughed. "Um...may I ask how?"
"Oh. Since you're not some weird half-Scout now, you shouldn't have any problems. Just..." Mercury leaned forward, whispering in Sailor Zoisite's ear.
"Ooooh!"
The Scouts transformed back as the two Tuxes faded back to their original clothing.
"Ack!" Serena flinched. "The spandex! I forgot!"
Malachite snarled and hopped over to heave himself up on the countertop, dripping a splattered trail of blood on the floor.
"Hey, how'd you manage that Tux transformation, anyway?" asked Ami curiously, deliberately staring at the wall, and anything else that wasn't Malachite.
"Anything he can do, I can do!"
Darien just smirked and jumped from one foot to the other a few times. "How 'bout this?"
"Shut up!"
Zoisite sighed. "Come on, cuddlebunny. Let's get you to the emergency room."
Lita gagged.
Darien stared at the tanks full of fish. Hadn't there been something he'd been supposed to do? Frowning, he scratched at his head; he gasped as his finger encountered the tiny hole.
"OK," he snarled, "Who did it??"
"What, Muffin?" Serena looked confused.
"Someone's got one of my screws!"
"If you ask me, he's missing more than just one..." muttered Malachite, nursing his foot with a pained expression.
"I heard that!" barked Darien angrily. "Who's got it? 'Fess up! You *know* those things cost a bundle, and the hardware store's all the way across town!"
A spark flew from his hair; one of his arms seized up for an instant. "Argh! I need it back!"
With a sigh, Raye sidled over to Serena and passed her the tiny screw. "Here....I figured he wouldn't notice, and it looked like you two were back together again..."
Serena smiled half-heartedly. "Thanks for the thought, Raye." Stooping down, she pretended to pick up the screw. "Oh gee, look," she said woodenly. "I found it."
"Give it here!" Grabbing the screw, Darien stuffed it back into his head and sighed with relief as his hair stopped smoking. Returning memory hit him - the fish!
Grabbing up a net, he ran to the tank where the prettiest little goldfish he'd ever seen had been swimming earlier.
It floated, dead, at the top of the tank.
"GLEEP!!!!"
"Oh, are you looking for a fish?" asked Mina, happy to get a line. "They all floated to the top as soon as Malachite walked in wearing that spandex getup!"
"HEY!" Malachite pouted.
"What? It's TRUE!"
"ARGH!" Darien bashed his head against the wall a couple of times. "FAILED! AGAIN! I'm going to GET YOU, Malachite!"
Turning, he approached Serena, who eyed him suspiciously.
"I'm sorry, Serena, but -"
"DarienIcan'tseeyouanymore!" interrupted Serena.
There were gasps from all around; Ami grasped at the doorway for support. Even Zoisite and Malachite looked shocked.
Lita frowned. "Funny...I can see him just fine!"
Raye smacked her.
Darien blinked. "W-what?"
Serena pouted. "You heard me! I'm dumping you - just *once*, I wanna be the one who does it!"
Blink. Blink. "Dumping....me?"
Quickly, before Serena could falter, Lita stepped in front of her friend. "Yeah! So get lost, pinball-head!"
"Hey!" said Serena indignantly, "you can't say that to my Da-mmmph!" She was quickly muzzled by Raye.
"Oh..." said Darien, dazed. Turning, he wandered out the door. "Um...OK....see ya..."
No sooner was he out of sight than...."WAAAAHH!!!!!" Serena's mouth, suddenly grown to six times its usual size, split the leather straps of the muzzle (you thought maybe it was a figure of speech?) effortlessly. "MAMO-CH....I mean, DARIEN!!!"
"Hey," comforted Lita, "at least you got to do the dumping this time! And you'll still be back together before dinnertime, probably."
"WAAAAHHH!!!"
Ami, accustomed to Serena's ear-shattering crying jags, turned to Zoisite and Malachite. "Say - what did those three want with you, anyway?" she asked suspiciously. "What's going on here?"
Zoisite blanched. "Um...er....I can't hear you!," he lied, shouting above the sound of Serena's wails.
"Ooooh! Ooooow!" moaned Malachite suddenly, grasping at his foot. "Zoisite, I have to get to the emergency room!"
"Er...yes! Yes...must leave now, so sorry, talk to you later!"
"WAAAAAAAH!!!"
"You're staying right here 'till I get some answers!" stated Ami suspiciously.
"Look," yelled Malachite, "get back, or I'll bleed on you!"
"Eeeeeek!"
As Ami flinched back, the two made their hopping, lopsided way out the door.
"OUCH Ouch Ouch ouch ouch ou..." Malachite's voice faded in the distance.
"WAAAAAAH!!!"
Mina, who had been watching the exchange, frowned. "Hey, Ami - don't you want to be a doctor?"
Ami shrugged and scuffed her toe on the floor. "Yes...well..."
Raye sighed. "You're pathetic."
****
Saabbite sat in his Laz-E-Boy and thought foul thoughts.
"Those Scouts are really getting to be a pain!" complained Notoobrite from her position on the couch. "Now that Malachite and Zoisite aren't Type D anymore, they've got full use of their powers back! That means they're stronger than us again!"
Litebrite, in the chair by the TV, didn't say anything; his hands were otherwise occupied in getting a manicure from Eddie. The mute general had a gleeful smile on his face.
Saabbite growled. "It's time to bring in some more muscle."
"...you mean...?"
"Yes." Whipping a small black address book out of his pocket, he tossed it at the back of Eddie's head.
"Ouch!"
"Ouch....what?"
"Ouch, my lord Saabbite!" cringed Eddie.
Saabbite smiled with a dark and evil joy. It had been so long since he'd had a lackey who was terrified of him, who didn't know the awful truth! "Teddie.."
"Eddie!"
He frowned. "Don't correct me, Teddie. You have some phone calls to make..."
Litebrite, left with half a manicure, pouted.
****
Darien sat on the edge of his bed, flabbergasted.
Serena had dumped.....him?
Something was very wrong with the world.
Tiny sparks leapt from the back of his head and crawled down his shirt.
Connections fizzled; wires melted.
Suddenly, Darien jumped up.
"The courageous soul of Darien, who fights the Negaverse!," he screamed. Grabbing a sheet corner, he ripped the fabric (white, with pink flowers) from his bed and wrapped it around himself. "HAAGEN-DAAS!"
With a gleeful cackle and a swirl of sheets, he jumped out the window.
****
"Ooooh! Ouch!" Malachite limped through the motel door, leaning heavily on his newly-acquired cane.
"Stop whining already!" snapped Zoisite, a bit tired of playing sympathetic nursemaid. "It was your own stupid fault!"
"Hey, you're supposed to be supportive here!" grumbled Malachite. "Anyway, at least I get a cane - I'll look even more like Tuxie-boy! Man, is this gonna tick him off!"
Seconds after Zoisite closed the door, there came a knock.
Zoisite frowned. "It better not be the shark!"
Malachite sighed. "Don't authors usually like to write in references that the audience has the slightest chance of recognizing?"
"What?"
"Never mind. Answer the door."
The five scouts trooped in as Malachite sat himself down on the bed.
"Hey!" shrieked Zoisite, "How did you find us??"
Ami shrugged. "I used my computer to check the motel registeries." Raising an eyebrow at Malachite, she allowed herself the slightest of smirks. "'Malachite Smith' isn't the most original of pseudonyms, you know."
Malachite sighed and reached for the Tylenol in the nightstand drawer. "Go away."
"Nuh-uh!" Serena shook her head. "You're scouts now, or at least Zoisite is, which means that you have to attend our meetings!" Tossing a square thing that looked rather like a cigarette lighter to Zoisite, she added "Here's your communicator."
"OK now," said Ami sternly, "What's up with those three Negajerks?"
"HEY!" objected Zoisite, before remembering that he'd switched sides. Blushing, he waved a hand. "Er...nevermind. All Negaverse servants are scum. Right."
"Just answer the question!" said Ami petulantly.
"Um..." Malachite thought quickly. "There are these three guys, see...well...two guys and a woman....and...they don't like us."
Lita looked enlightened.
Ami rolled her eyes. "Ok...that much, we knew."
"We did?"
"Hush!"
"Um....they're really mad because we left the side of evil, and they're trying to capture us so they can brainwash us into coming back!" Malachite smiled, proud of his sudden inspiration.
"Oh. Well....I guess that's OK, then."
"So....if that's all you wanted...."
"Erm...yeah. We'll be going now."
Raye frowned suspiciously. "I think he's lying, Captain!"
Everyone stared at her; a large sweat drop appeared on her head. "Um...nevermind!"
The five girls left as quickly as they'd come, Raye casting one last suspicious glance back over her shoulder.
"Whew!" exclaimed Zoisite, "That was close!"
Malachite nodded, but his expression was troubled. "And pointless. Something tells me that we may be entering the calm before the storm..."
Zoisite rolled his eyes.
