38. An Open Letter to God
Dear Lord,
This is an open letter addressed to you - the Lord, on behalf of Virendra Vermin, our North American expert on 'Eastern mentality' and 'Western mentality' and other 'mentalities', our Hindu fanatic par excellance, authority on 'culture', philology, ad nauseum.
In his signature file, he always sez 'Tamasor ma jyotirgamaya' - translating it as 'Lord, lead me from darkness to the light'. Would you please, please, please grant his wish and lead him to 'light' from his present darkness, even though he enjoys being in the dark and takes the saying 'ignorance is bliss' quite literally ? You know he leads a rather blissful life.
Also, while you are it, would you also lead his fellow rabid, Hindu fanatics like Prabhu Ambatipudi, Ajay Shah, Indu, Kritivas, Mohan Sekhar (yes, Sekhar, you are a rabid fanatic. Only rabid fanatics will have rabid fanatical signature files like you do) and the other members of this minority terror brigade ? Because, Lord, we the majority, normal, mainstream Hindus, fear the minority Hindu fundamentalist gangs more than any other group in India.
Also, Lord, while leading them to 'light', don't talk to them, because they will engage you in trivial arguments away from the crux of the issues and their non-Boolean logic might make you laugh. However, feel free to ridicule them, because they are ridiculous. But, be careful, because they are dangerous.
Also, Lord, pardon these shameless, remorseless, brainless, senseless cretins who spread bigotry and communal hatred in your name - especially when most of these goons can't tell Hindutva from the backside of a horse.
Thanks
On behalf of majority of Hindus and Indians.
