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IRC Weekly - Edition #1

Published in

· 2 years ago

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---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
IRC Weekly     -      "not just yermom on drugs"      -     IRC Weekly 
---------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Edition #1:

IRC Weekly? (subzero)
IRC - An Electronic Drug (Zircon)
Zircon's Interview With Benny(the ircoper) (Zircon)
Quote of the Week logged by subzero
iRC LaNGooAGE (Mad Sniper)
ode tew tha irc warriors (Valgamon)
When your good your good? (Stumble)
Version polls (subzero)
Windows95 IRC SCRIPT (fiend/zircon)
What we call the END (subzero)

IRC Weekly?

If your happy and you know it clap your hands... anyways its 2:30am on a thursday/friday night/morning.. what did you expect a emag idea on FROGS (no offence srfrog if you read this heh). Ok by now you gotta be asking wtf is IRC weekly (doh illegal use of words WTF!*@^@!)... well its simply a weekly write up of stuph todo with EYE ARE SEA (you know the thing you are addicted to?).
Nuff said...

- subzero

ps. if you want to add anything to this funky new wave generation type irc emag thingy then email subzero@marooned.tamu.edu with your submissions, articles, logs or whatever...

IRC - An Electronic Drug

Written By Zircon

You may wonder about the topic, but i'm sure many of you know what i mean. How many times have you relized you're addicted, physically, and mentally to IRC? I'm sure you have noticed yourself experiencing withdrawl after being away for a week or so, still don't see it? Well lets compare, cocaine, and IRC.

Cocaine:

One usage, and you're hooked.
Costs lots of money.
Seperates you from your family.
You develope a tolorance, and always need more.
Leads to a life of crime.
You probably started because it's "Cool"

IRC:

One hour, you're majorly hooked.
The higher the speed, the more it costs.
I doubt you IRC with your family in your room.
1 hour is never enough, then 2, then 3.
You start carding, setting up confs, trading warez, all illegal things to support your habbit.
Well ... you probably started for WaReZ, but i bet you thought they were kewl.

There you have it, almost identical, IRC Is a drug. Want more? By definition in the Oxford dictionary a drug is:

drug 1 n. medicinal substance; narcotic, hallicinogen, or stimulant, esp. one causing addiction.

I know i've seen shit while on irc, and don't tell me you goto bed with a clear mind, without a thought of IRC, after a heavy 8 hour, addict session.

Well since it's 5am i'de like to keep this sort of short and to the point, but one last thing, who sells the drugs? Who controlls the flow, no, not the ISP, those, big know it all IRCOPS (*cough* benny *cough*) walking around, pimping, sucking dick for more drugs, they want the next level, the better high, ahh yes, the O: (refer to 'Zircons interview with Benny') the best high IRC has to offer. We need to help those people, they've gone to far, they can't handle the high anymore, and start murdering (*cough* vanity kill *cough*) people for MORE high, but they don't get more, they need help, or soon, they're gonna end up like the dood in that TCL 'Waterfalls' video.

Zircon
(The Worlds Problems Are A Result Of Rap Music)

Zircon's Interview with Benny (the ircoper)

<Zircon755> > [benny] how much diq would i have to suck for an O: ?
<Zircon755> *benny!mike@dolphin.elec.Shasta.CC.CA.US* lots
<Zircon755> > [benny] how much did u have to suq?
<Zircon755> *benny!mike@dolphin.elec.Shasta.CC.CA.US* lots
<Zircon755> > [benny] how hard did u have to suq?
<Zircon755> *benny!mike@dolphin.elec.Shasta.CC.CA.US* very hard
<Zircon755> > [benny] did u have to give it up the ass?
<Zircon755> *benny!mike@dolphin.elec.Shasta.CC.CA.US* nah
<Zircon755> > [benny] did they make you swallow?
<Zircon755> *benny!mike@dolphin.elec.Shasta.CC.CA.US* nope

Quote of the Week logged by subzero

<benny> my finger dont work
wheeee more benny bashing

iRC LaNGooAGE: Wut to thinq wen sum1 sayz "0-day 31337 gnu warez"

-an ereet atrikle by mad sniper, explainink da reet stuph we've developed over da yearz-

Wun day eye wuz on da internet relay chat and i wuz like "phuq these people are kawllink me layme n shit wtf is layme!?" and it is now that I realize w0t the language meanz. here's like... uhm... a translashun tayble thing:

layme, l4m3, llama, laymuhr, lamah, lamer = joo needa touch up on your kourieurink skillz.
k-raddy, k-rad, neato ereeto, elite, 31337, leet = joo kick sum majah azz on da irc.
0-day = this is gewd.
gewd = this is vundahfewl
vundafewl = this is gewd or 0-day.

Okay, that's pretty mooch a basic translation table. With that, joo will be jah coolezt ereeto d00d on irc in no tyme.

On to the next sekshun, where the author learns to spell things correctly, gets a haircut, and stops masturbating.

Okay. You may find yourself on a channel with no people. There are two possibilities for this to occur:

You have no life and like to hang out on channels alone.
You just netsplit.

In the former case, we can't help you, just get your ass off irc and call 1-800-388-PIR8 (irc help hotline) and ask them what you should do about your pirate problem (pirate is a synonym for "irc"). However, in the latter case, do this:

/quit

It's the only way to get out of your current situation without accidentally taking over a channel (that would be bad, because then if you did, you'd have ops, and everyone knows that all channel ops are evil).

Alrighty. You may hear sum dood named "Pele" or "Sheiky" (2 different laymuhrz) say 'irc scripts are lame'. They're wrong, irc scripts are really really eleet! Get one that joo pheel cumfterbull with n shit. Coz like.. If pheenickz is dah onlee thing on yer account, joo gotz problemz. And joo are a laymuhr. Jew needa get sumthink like "Lice", "Tech5", "FausT", etc, to be considered "Ereet" and "0-dayz" by your irc comrades. Fuck me stupid! I almost forgot the most important thing:

Women.

Women hang out on irc, believe me now and hear me later. Joo may not gno it until like aphter you've called one of them a guy (like i did wunz with lsi oops I was laym back then), but there are sum jix out there that are just dying to have you say "Heya big woman, wanna irc with me for a few hours?". They wub dat. Wunz I kawlled jewels on the telefown and I wuz like "so you like kourieuring, eh?" and she wuz like "yeah." and we really hit it off. It's like this wun time when I went to school in 3rd grade and pulled down my pants and everyone saw my pecker and I became really popular in skewl.

..But..

You can't get the 0-day women unless ya gots the 0-day script and yer chatting on the 0-day channels. There's nothing like kawwlink an ugly hoe you just met in #canada (a laym 5-90 day channel) and have her tell you how much her wuzzle is aching for you. It's a waste of valuable time you could be spending masturbating (which I don't do any more).

So like.. Remember these elite irc thingz, they may get you unbanned frum a channel.

-> ms

ode tew tha irc warriors

For staying up till four in the morning...
For showering every three days...
For never leaving the house, unless it catches on fire, and then only after we grab our computers...
For sleeping late into the afternoon...
For totally wasting the summer with meaningless conversation...

We are...

-/- THE IRC WARRIORS -/-
(Not to be confused with the Couch Commandos)
"Sworn to sit on our asses day after day and stare at the screen."

Here is the IRC WARRIORS' token fight song:
(it sounds vaguely like the Ren and Stimpy "Log" song)

We sit in a chair,
at the screen we stare,
as our boredom slowly mounts

We sit home all day,
and we'll never pay
for our hacked cris.com accounts

the warriors, the warriors, we're on IRC all day
the warriors, the warriors, at home is where we stay

- Valgamon

When your good your good?

Date: Wed, 21 Jun 95 01:41:06 MDT
From: Eric Hillis
To: root@escape.com
Subject: Don't know if you really care

a real lamer has apparently some ability to do nick collisions on IRC at will.. and it is extremely annoying.. so do you care? maybe not.. I thought I would try and see if anyone did..

his supposed address was:
stumble@elite.escape.com

he said f*** my sysadmin
so hmmm does anyone care? maybe not
I'm really fed up with EFNet
we have tried for a year to keep a peaceful channel called #bible
not one of the IRC admins gives a crap.. and they gladly ban our
bots..
thanks a lot to all of them.. and now this lamer gets to run our
channel..
thanks
Eric (Edub on IRC)
(hillis@mirza.colorado.edu)

Version Polls

"out of 100 people surveyed..." - family fued

--------------------------------------------------------------- 
SCRIPT        AUTHOR    NUM/100   PERCENTAGE   H.VER    L.VER 
--------------------------------------------------------------- 
FausT         DrD          1        .01%       GOLD      - 
TextBox       CKeeper      4        .04%       6.21      - 
PurePak       CKeeper      8        .08%       1.08     1.00b 
splitSUrfer   unknown      2        .02%       1.10b     - 
LiCe          SrFrog      33        .33%       1.3pl1   1.1pl5c 
DsTRuKT       subzero      3        .03%       1.02p     - 
PhoEniX       Vassago     43        .43%       2.25     2.01 
DJiNN         Vassago      1        .01%       1.01      - 
Tech5         Zakath       1        .01%       1.0w      - 
y0h0h0        Alphasux     4        .04%       'N'      v'M' 
--------------------------------------------------------------- 
* H.VER = Highest Version Seen ** L.VER = Lowest Version Seen *

Windows95 IRC SCRIPT

Now you too can use up more ram, disk space, bandwidth etc etc.

# **********CUT HERE*************** 

# IRC95 - Now you, like windows95, can use up more resources, ram, 
# bandwidth, the whole nine yards 
# Written by Fiend/Zircon 

alias s { 
  if ([$0]) { 
    if ([$temp95]) {^assign temp95 ${temp95} $(0)95}{^assign temp95 $(0)95} 
                s $1- 
        } 
        { 
                //send $temp95 
                ^assign -temp95 
        } 
} 
echo *** IRC95 Loaded - Use /s <message> and you can use more irc resources 

# **********STOP HERE***************