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, ____, ( 22/12/01 anada494 ,
/ \ ,_____ (--|_\_,,_, _ _| _ __________ ,-.______ _,---._ __ _/ \
/ \+------ _| ) | |(_|(_|(_|_ .net------/ )----.-' `./-/ \
/ / ( |__, ( ( ,' `/ /|
\ / "The Way You Vomit \ `-" \'\ / |
\ / Reveals Your Personality" `. , \ \ / |
Y-------- ----------/`. ,'-`----Y |
/ by Funnigerl5 ( ; mEoW!@/| '
i________________________________________________| ,-. ,-'_______/ | /
| | | ( * | /
|____________________ Anada is cat-friendly! __) |__\ `.___________|/
`--' `--'
According to Dr. Felix Wretcher, noted pioneer in the field of PVA
(psycho-vomitus analysis), the way you throw up is a solid indicator of your
values, idiosyncracies, and basic personality traits.
For instance, if you choose to vomit in your own home, you are a
family-oriented type who favors intellectual pursuits over passive
activities. If you usually make it to the bathroom, you are considerate of
others. If you shut the door behind you, you have a secretive nature.
If you often vomit while in a car, bus or plane, you are a nervous
type and may dabble in bizarre behaviors such as foot fetishes, necrophilia
or Amway sales and you are further advised to try to avoid traveling during
the rush hour.
If you usually puke at work or in a business setting (at board
meetings, during parent-teacher conferences, or at community outreach
events) you are an ambitious go-getter who finds it hard to relax.
Should you frequently upchuck during social gatherings such as
picnics, family reunions, tupperware parties and the like, you are a fun-
loving soul who really knows how to put others at ease. If you often vomit
outdoors, you are a nature lover who would rather enhance the environment
rather than take away from it.
Dr. Wretcher goes on to say that if you often splash other's shoes
and clothes, you are gregarious person who loves to be near people. If
you're a loud puker, you don't care what others think of you. On the other
hand if you upchuck quietly, this indicates that you can be overly sensitive
to "what the neighbors will think."
And Dr. Wretcher reveals that criminal tendencies are confirmed when
one deliberately vomits directly on another person. This is known in some
states as "Assault with Intent To Vomit" or "Malicious Projectile Puking".
"Of course", asserts Dr. Wretcher, "there are times when vomiting in
the presence of others is warranted, like when you're trying to make a
point."
Dr. Wretcher conducts Vomit Therapy sessions out of his home. He's
been working with one particular group for about 2 years now. "My lovely
wife, Evelyn, makes coffee and dessert," explains Dr. Wrtecher. "She
assists with the patients, making them feel at home, and then cleans up
afterwards. And we're not just talking ash trays."
Accused of being a pop psychologist, Dr. Wretcher vehemently denies
that his brand of analysis is bogus and maintains "vomit analysis in a
clinical setting helps reveal the inner workings of your psyche at many
levels. After a while the smell doesn't even bother you any more."
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`-.^.-' (c) 2001 Anada e'zine by Funnigerl5 `-.^.-'
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