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, ____, ( 22/12/01 anada492 ,
/ \ ,_____ (--|_\_,,_, _ _| _ __________ ,-.______ _,---._ __ _/ \
/ \+------ _| ) | |(_|(_|(_|_ .net------/ )----.-' `./-/ \
/ / ( |__, ( ( ,' `/ /|
\ / \ `-" \'\ / |
\ / "My Rider" `. , \ \ / |
Y-------- ----------/`. ,'-`----Y |
/ by Infernal ( ; mEoW!@/| '
i________________________________________________| ,-. ,-'_______/ | /
| | | ( * | /
|____________________ Anada is cat-friendly! __) |__\ `.___________|/
`--' `--'
To be set up prior to one hour before scheduled sound check of show!!
PLEASE NOTE: Many of these items can be found at any lame-ass
convenience store, to say nothing of the kind of store you'll be shopping
at should Infernal come to your town. Our needs are simple yet specific.
Please discuss these catering requirements directly with the "Infernal"
"Tour" "Manager" before reminding said artist that riders are the ultimate
form of capitalist gluttony and that anything beyond a beer, a sandwich, a
floor to sleep on and a heartfelt handshake is more than any serious artist
should expect as payment for their visions.
ALTERATIONS WITHOUT PERMISSION OF SOMEONE ACTING RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME
SHIT ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!!!
- coffee set up for 15 people (or one caffeine-addled idjit)
- FRESH one lb. package of Mr. Turkey turkey franks
- 1 28 oz bottle French's Mustard, to disguise crappy turkey frank taste
- 1 large jar peanut butter (crunchy style only) for Infernal to sneak
home for hard times later
- 1 small, fresh vegetable tray
- 1 small, fresh vegetable (feeling in her lower extremities preferred)
- 1 sincere feeling of acceptance from one crowd of people, of all
backgrounds and climes, who feel that what Infernal has to say is
germane;
- 1 box "E.L Fudge" cookies, variety to be determined by promoter;
- 1 sense camraderie that show, such as it was, appealed to diverse
segments of dysfunctional crowd; encouraging same to make best of own
lives; ignore superficial detours provided by popular culture;
- 1 cook from Central Hot Dog, Toledo, Ohio, who knows the value of
burnt home fries and lots of ketchup and grape jam;
- 1 package sweat socks, size 10-14, because any time I can hoodwink
someone into buying me socks is a special day;
- 1 bag cat food, brand indeterminate, 14-28 oz;
- 1 genuine, interested, informed comment from crowd member assuring
Infernal that someone got the point;
- 1 case Sheboygan Light, chilled;
- 1 box drum sticks;
- 3 action figures; secondhand; from nearby toy store, with alternate
names, family histories, and lineages provided;
- 5-10 used hardback books from nearest used bookstore (minimum 4
science fiction);
- 1 barmaid (see attached "Infernal Barmaid Crush Guidelines");
- 1 keen Goodwill shirt, size L-XXL;
- 1 carton Marlboro Red Hard Pack Lights;
- 1-4 broke dudes who smoke, to trade cigs for loading-out chores;
- Sixty (60) clean, large, cotton, bath sized towels (we plan on opening
a towel store when we get off the road and so we ask for as many
unusable towels as we can while touring)
- 1 unicorn;
- 3 dancing elves (4"0' or less);
- 18 candy bars (anything BUT "Zero" bars!!!);
- 1 assurance that this entire fruit-bat-ass dog-and-pony caravan will
provide even one 'spontaneous' 'rock and roll' 'show' along a 37-city
tour that thousands will see and dozens, maybe, will remember;
- lots of the green M&M's, you fuck!
/\___/\ ____________________________________________________________ /\___/\
\ -.- / \ -.- /
`-.^.-' (c) 2001 Anada e'zine by Infernal `-.^.-'
/"\ ________________________________________________________________ /"\
