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, ____, ( 28/07/01 anada402 ,
/ \ ,_____ (--|_\_,,_, _ _| _ __________ ,-.______ _,---._ __ _/ \
/ \+------ _| ) | |(_|(_|(_|_ .net------/ )----.-' `./-/ \
/ / ( |__, ( ( ,' `/ /|
\ / \ `-" \'\ / |
\ / "Another Love Story" `. , \ \ / |
Y-------- ----------/`. ,'-`----Y |
/ by Camusmuse ( ; mEoW!@/| '
i________________________________________________| ,-. ,-'_______/ | /
| | | ( * | /
|____________________ Anada is cat-friendly! __) |__\ `.___________|/
`--' `--'
Well here I sit another day, broken hearted, lonely. The usual
"fixes" arent working anymore. My mind drifts in and out of reality, never
finding a home. What should I do??? I know what I'll do, I'll tell you
why. Not just another story of forsaken love, or utter discontempt, but a
testament to the human mind.
I find myself wondering... wandering... guessing what would REALLY
make me happy. Money? No, thats just a stepping stone to the material
world. You can have all the toys you want, but they're no fun unless you
have someone to play with. You can't count the "friends/goldiggers" that
seem to come with the money... they have sold themselves as just another
toy. Fame? Yeah right, For once a bumper sticker really does say it all...
"The more people I meet, the more I like my cat". Love? Now this is the
hard one. Love does make me happy, but is it my love for someone/something
else? Or is it their love for me?
Perhaps this dilemma is a self-defeating entity. True love has no
such questions... right? So is what I feel not true... AM I NOT TRUE? At
the very root, am I lying to myself, and at the branches am I lying to the
world? I don't know... The truth seems to be a "concept of reality", one
person's perception of what should and does exist. But love, at least in
the case of another person, requires two different "concepts of reality" to
mesh, intertwine, grow and flourish... together. This phenomenon intrigues
me more than anything.
Falling in love always seems so easy, familar, but unrehearsed.
Magical. But just as Houdini used slight of hand... love is just another
trick. Granted, the motives often are genuine, but why do people fall in
love? To satisfy themselves? Or to satisfy someone else? There's no
denying the attraction of love.. especially true love, but doesn't that
attraction negate the probability of aquisition? The declaration of the
emancipation of congregation is an exclamation of my degredation to the
entire nation. I know... silly isn't it.
How can I look for something as spontaneous as love? Maybe there are
no "real" answers... only the ones I can "trick" myself into believing.
Perhaps ignorance... even self-induced... really is bliss. Maybe now it's
time to "wipe the smile off my face".... my apologies to Mr. De La Rocha...
especially for probably spelling his name wrong.... hopefully his rage, and
mine, will subside.
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`-.^.-' (c) 2001 Anada e'zine by Camusmuse `-.^.-'
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