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, ____, ( 21/07/01 anada399 ,
/ \ ,_____ (--|_\_,,_, _ _| _ __________ ,-.______ _,---._ __ _/ \
/ \+------ _| ) | |(_|(_|(_|_ .net------/ )----.-' `./-/ \
/ / ( |__, ( ( ,' `/ /|
\ / \ `-" \'\ / |
\ / "How I Got My Twin Hooks" `. , \ \ / |
Y-------- ----------/`. ,'-`----Y |
/ by Carole ( ; mEoW!@/| '
i________________________________________________| ,-. ,-'_______/ | /
| | | ( * | /
|____________________ Anada is cat-friendly! __) |__\ `.___________|/
`--' `--'
EDITOR'S NOTE:
The text within is a little more offbeat than our most offbeat files. I
took the time to speak with its author, and yes, it was written in earnest.
It's a fictional account of Carole's plans for the future. And although it
may be fiction right now, by all means she plans to make it non-fiction.
Her webpage mysteriously disappeared this month, by the way.
--gloomchen
[*****]
I just recently celebrated my 22nd birthday, my marriage, and my
graduation from college, although those three celebrations were really just
a few months after my actual birthday, my actual marriage, and my actual
college graduation. Much more important than those three events is my
ongoing celebration of my new life -- my new life as a young woman who's not
only extremely myopic but who's also a real DBE amputee. I was born quite
myopic (nearsighted). My myopia has steadily increased over the past
twenty-two years. Now I'm extremely myopic, and I wear beautiful glasses
with thick plastic lenses in order to function as well as "normal" people
can function with their two "normal" eyes. However, I wasn't born a DBE
(double below elbow) amputee. I purposely chose to suffer a tragic
"accident" and become a real DBE amputee! Now I'm completely without any
hands, and I wear beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X
stainless steel hooks in order to function as well as "normal" people
function with their two "normal" hands. I'm going to tell the true story of
how I got my twin hooks. I'm going to explain how my life has changed
during the past four months since I've become a real DBE amputee. I'm also
going to describe how I've adapted to my new life using twin stainless steel
hooks in place of my two amputated hands.
I was born to a very loving mother and father, and I'm their only
child. When I was three years old, I met a man who had completely amputated
all four of the fingers on his right hand as the result of an accident he
had while using a power saw. I was fascinated with how unique his hand
looked and how he was able to use it with just a thumb and no other fingers.
When I was eight years old, I met a girl my age who was a congenital RAE
(right above elbow) amputee and who wore a very beautiful body-powered
prosthesis with a Dorrance #5X stainless steel hook. We quickly became
really good friends, and before long, I seriously wanted not to be just a
real single-arm amputee like her, but I very seriously wanted to be a real
double-arm amputee! Being only a young girl at that time, I actually
thought that I must have been "abnormal" or suffering from some kind of
mental illness because I definitely wanted to have twin stainless steel
hooks instead of my two real hands!
Four years ago I met Rob, who's now my husband. He has been a true
woman arm amputee "devotee" for as long as he can remember. It was Rob who
explained to me that I was a true DBE woman amputee "wannabe" -- that I
wasn't "abnormal" in any way, and that I wasn't suffering from any kind of
mental illness. Within a week after I had met him, Rob introduced me to his
former girlfriend, Debbie, a traumatic DBE amputee who wears beautiful twin
body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks. A little
more than ten years ago, Debbie had to have both of her two hands amputated
just about six inches below her elbows as the result of a very tragic
accident she suffered while she was simply playing with some defective
fireworks. Debbie's an absolutely amazing woman, and she can do almost
anything that she wants to do using her beautiful twin hooks -- even
including putting on and taking off her twin prostheses all by herself --
because she has worked extremely hard at teaching herself how to be as
independent as any DBE amputee can possibly be! Needless to say, she and I
quite quickly became very good friends. Debbie has always treated me as if
I were her younger sister, and she has always been totally honest and very
upfront about telling me absolutely everything that I've wanted to know
concerning her tragic accident, the operations that were performed on her
two arm stumps, her recovery, her rehabilitation, and her return to living a
very normal life using her twin stainless steel hooks in place of her two
amputated hands. In addition to everything that I learned from Debbie, I
also began reading anything and everything I could find that was related to
amputees and prostheses. With each passing day, I quickly became even more
and more convinced that I would never be truly happy with myself and I would
never be truly content with my life unless I could become like Debbie -- a
real DBE amputee who wears twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X
stainless steel hooks! Debbie is, and Debbie will always be, not only my
very close friend, but also my role model, and I'll always try to live my
life just like she's living her life! It was my very close friendship with
Debbie that made me finally realize just how desperately I'd wanted to
become a real DBE amputee for such a very long time -- more than ten years!
After Rob became my boyfriend, we would spend countless hours talking
about how I could become a real DBE amputee like Debbie. We finally decided
that I would have to suffer an "accident" that would result in the complete
amputation of both of my hands just about two inches above both of my
wrists. Rob and I also decided that I would definitely not obtain my twin
hand amputations until: (1) sometime right before my 22nd birthday, (2)
sometime after I'd successfully completed all of my college graduation
requirements, (3) sometime after I'd signed a contract to be a full-time
teacher of exceptional ("disabled") children, and (4) sometime before we
would get married. Our decisions not only gave me about fifteen months to
reaffirm my determination to purposely and permanently become a real DBE
amputee, but they also gave me a lot of time to start preparing to live the
entire rest of my life as a woman who would use twin stainless steel hooks
in place of her two amputated hands. First, I checked into my parents'
medical insurance, and I found out that I was still completely covered under
their policy up until the day I officially graduated from college, and I
also found out that it would completely cover all of the medical expenses
that resulted from my "accident" -- including the cost of "conventional"
body-powered prostheses -- for the rest of my entire life. Next, I began to
follow a daily exercise program consisting of a variety of strength and
conditioning drills. Then, I began to try to figure out just exactly how I
would perform each and every one of my normal daily living activities when I
would have to use twin hooks instead of my two real hands. Finally, Rob and
I both carefully and completely planned out my "accident" down to the very
last detail, including how we would make absolutely sure that no doctor
would be able to re-attach either one or both of my hands after I'd
amputated them. I only regret that I couldn't do anything at all during
this time to prepare both my mother and my father, all of my relatives, and
all of my many friends to deal with my "accident" and the effects it would
have on each and every one of them.
The next fifteen months of my life seemed to last just about forever!
Finally I'd successfully passed all of my final exams and completely
fulfilled all the rest of my college graduation requirements. I would be
graduating "with high honors" in the top ten percent of my class. I'd also
signed a provisional teaching contract with a small local school district,
so I was all ready to begin my career as a teacher of exceptional
("disabled") students on Wednesday, September 5th, 2001.
On Saturday, May 5th, 2001, the day that Rob and I had specifically
selected for my "accident" at long last arrived! I met Rob at his
apartment, and I was wearing a pair of good jeans along with a new white
short-sleeve sweatshirt because I was going to help Rob with some work that
he was doing. I cannot and I do not want to go into the details of the work
that we did that day because I don't want anyone to even think about doing
what I actually did. All I'll say is that during the course of our work,
Rob had to temporarily leave me alone while he went to get a few things that
we needed. During the several minutes that he was gone, I suffered a very
tragic "accident" -- I not only completely severed both of my hands about
one inch above both of my wrists, but I also completely mangled what little
remained of my two amputated hands. As I screamed for help, I could sense
that my entire body was going into shock. When he heard my screams, Rob
rushed back to me, and when he saw the totally handless stumps of my two
arms, he then realized what I'd already realized -- I'd actually succeeded
in finally becoming a real DBE amputee! Almost immediately, I felt as
though a tremendously heavy weight had finally been lifted off of my
shoulders because I honestly felt relieved that all of my years of waiting
were at last over. I also felt an overwhelming sensation of joy because I
realized that I would finally be spending the rest of my life as a real DBE
amputee who would wear beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance
#5X stainless steel hooks! And yes, I also felt a tremendous amount of
pain, but I was still able to carefully do exactly what I needed to do. I
immediately held the ends of my twin arm stumps tightly against the sides of
my stomach, so I could apply direct pressure to both of them to slow down
the bleeding. I put as much pressure as I possibly could against my twin
arm stumps, and although I was successfully able to stop the bleeding, I was
unable to do anything at all to stop the steadily increasing pain.
Together, Rob and I rushed to my truck, and he quickly drove us to the
hospital. We arrived at the hospital in about three minutes, and Rob
escorted me directly to the emergency room. He was visibly upset and
terribly worried about me, so I quickly kissed him and assured him that
everything would turn out just fine.
A nurse wanted Rob drive her back to his apartment to retrieve what
remained of my two amputated hands, so he did exactly that. By the time
they arrived back at the hospital, I was already in the operating room and
all prepared for my surgery. My doctor, who was an experienced trauma
surgeon, looked at what remained of my two amputated hands and candidly
explained to me that it would be absolutely impossible for him to reimplant
-- re-attach -- either of my two amputated hands because they were both so
severely damaged. Then he explained that he would essentially just round
off both of my stumps -- he referred to them as my "residual limbs" -- so it
would be possible for me to wear twin artificial hands -- he referred to
them as twin "prosthetic hands" -- and lead a "quite normal" life. He
mentioned absolutely nothing to me about my ever wearing any kind of twin
body-powered prostheses with hooks, probably because he knew that most
people would much rather wear some kind of twin "prosthetic hands" instead
of twin hooks.
Just before the anesthetic I was given put me to sleep, I remembered
asking my doctor to make both of my arm stumps -- I didn't refer to them as
my "residual limbs" -- the same length, and I distinctly remembered him
assuring me that he would try to make both of them as identical as he
possibly could. I remembered nothing at all about my actual surgery, but
Rob later told me that it took just about four hours, and that it was
considered 100% successful. The next thing that I remembered was waking up
in the recovery room and Rob and I both looking at one another as we stared
at my two heavily bandaged arm stumps! A very short while later, we first
phoned my parents and then Rob's parents, and we told them all of the
details of my very tragic "accident" and my resulting twin hand amputations.
Understandably, they were all quite upset and extremely worried about me.
Rob and I did our best to calmly reassure them that I was getting the best
possible medical care, that I was doing just fine, that my doctor said that
I would make a complete recovery from my twin hand amputations, and that I
would soon be wearing twin "prosthetic hands" and once be again leading a
"quite normal" life. We didn't tell them that the twin "prosthetic hands"
that I would very soon be wearing would be beautiful twin Dorrance #5X
stainless steel hooks!
I don't remember much about the next few days, other than the fact
that I slept most of the time, and, that when I was awake, I was in quite a
bit of pain. I spent a lot of time just dreaming about how much I would
enjoy living the rest of my entire life as a real DBE amputee, and I was
absolutely thrilled each and every time that I looked at my two beautiful
arm stumps! All of the doctors, all of the nurses, and all of the other
hospital personnel constantly praised me for being such a good patient and
for always having such a "very positive attitude" about my twin hand
amputations! If only all of them had really known just how thrilled I
actually was to have finally become a real DBE amputee, then they would have
definitely understood exactly why I was being such a good patient as well as
exactly why I always had such a "very positive attitude" about my twin hand
amputations! I did everything that my doctor and my nurses asked me to do,
except that I continually referred to the ends of my two handless arms as my
twin stumps, when I was continually told to always refer to them as my
"residual limbs" and not my stumps. Of course, I knew that once I was out
of the hospital, I would very seldom again hear the words "residual limbs"
any more because almost everyone -- including Rob and me -- would always
refer to my two handless arms as my twin stumps.
That entire month of May, in my opinion, was a very exciting time in
my life. My twin stumps healed quite quickly, and they both ended up being
about eight inches long, identically matching, and with smoothly rounded
ends that had scars which were only about three inches long. Rob and I both
think that my twin stumps are just absolutely beautiful! Honestly, I never
did feel, and I still don't ever feel, any "phantom" pains in either of my
twin stumps, and I never did feel, and I still don't ever feel, that I still
have my two real hands! On Monday, May 21st, 2001, I was fitted first with
an RBE body-powered training prosthesis with an aluminum hook, and then on
the very next day I was also fitted with a matching LBE body-powered
training prosthesis with an aluminum hook. I simply amazed everyone --
including Rob and even myself -- with how quickly and proficiently I learned
how to use those twin training prostheses. Unfortunately, I was not allowed
to wear them for more than a few hours each day, but I really enjoyed every
second when I was wearing and learning how to use those twin training
prostheses! I knew that it wouldn't be much longer before I would have my
very own twin prostheses!
The most memorable day so far of my entire life was Friday, June 1st,
2001, the day when I wore my very own twin body-powered prostheses with
their Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks for the very first time. My twin
prostheses are both attached to a white nylon and stainless steel shoulder
harness, and each of my twin prostheses has a beautiful skin-colored plastic
forearm with an exposed stainless steel control cable, a beautifully
polished Dorrance fully-adjustable stainless steel wrist, and an equally
beautifully polished Dorrance #5X stainless steel hook with silver-colored
neoprene linings! Rob says, and I definitely agree with him, that I look
absolutely gorgeous whenever I'm wearing my twin prostheses! I spent just
about all of my waking hours over the next few days constantly practicing
and trying to do as many different things as I could with my beautiful new
twin hooks. The doctors and the nurses at the hospital all said that I
acted just like a little girl who had gotten the "toys of her dreams"
because I was obviously very happy whenever I was wearing and practicing how
to use my twin hooks. I candidly explained my happiness by telling everyone
that I was just trying to get back into some kind of normal daily routine,
so I could get out of the hospital as soon as possible! On Monday, June
18th, 2001, I convinced the doctors that I was ready to go home. I was able
to use my right hook to "sign" my full name on my hospital discharge papers,
and I was extremely proud of the fact that I could legibly write with my
right hook. Finally, I was all ready to begin my new life as a real DBE
amputee wearing my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their
Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! This was the second most memorable day
so far of my entire life!
For the next week, each and every day continued to be filled with
many new and exciting experiences. I became increasingly more and more
self-sufficient, and since I had moved in with Rob and was now living in his
apartment with him, he was really a tremendous help to me. Rob didn't baby
me, and he only helped me if and when I specifically asked for his help. I
started every day by practicing moving both of my twin prostheses, as well
as practicing maneuvering my beautiful twin stainless steel wrists along
with my beautiful twin stainless steel hooks. Already, I had become quite
proficient at using a fork and a spoon, but using a knife to cut anything
with proved to be a difficult task for me to master. There are lots of
things that I could do when I had my two real hands that I know I should be
able to do with my twin hooks -- like holding playing cards, opening and
closing a bread bag and a cereal box, and brushing my teeth and my hair, to
mention three of those things -- that I can't yet do very well, and although
I very often get rather frustrated and a little bit discouraged, I know that
I'll eventually learn how to do all of those things fairly well. Of course,
there are also several things that I've always enjoyed doing when I had my
two real hands that I know I'll never again successfully be able to do with
my twin hooks -- like reading Braille, putting in and taking out my contact
lenses, and playing my clarinet and my flute, to mention three of those
things -- but I fully realize that never again being able to do those things
is just a very small portion of the "price" that I've willingly had to "pay"
for becoming a real DBE amputee and for getting my twin hooks. And yes,
there are also quite a few more things that I've easily been able to do when
I had my two real hands that I know I'll probably never again successfully
be able to do with my twin hooks -- like buttoning and unbuttoning buttons,
swinging a softball bat, and tying and untying laces, to name just three of
those things -- but most of those things are things that I either just don't
have very much of a need to do anymore, or things that I just don't have any
interest at all in even trying to do. However, I do know that being a real
DBE amputee and wearing my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their
Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks will always more than make up for all of
the difficulties that I have experienced, and that I have yet to experience,
while learning how to use my twin hooks. Of course, the more I wear and use
my twin hooks, the more proficient I'm becoming at using them.
Time seemed to be passing rather quickly now, and each and every day
Rob and I always went out somewhere, giving me the opportunity to show off
my beautiful twin hooks and everything that I could do with them. I've
never been the least bit ashamed of my twin hooks, so I never attempt to
hide them. In fact, I definitely prefer to wear short-sleeve shirts and
blouses, so I can not only show off my twin stainless steel hooks and my
twin stainless steel wrists, but so I can also show off my twin stainless
steel control cables as well as my twin plastic forearms. I guess you could
say that I'm definitely quite an exhibitionist when it comes to showing off
both my beautiful twin hooks as well as my beautiful glasses with their
thick plastic lenses! It's obviously very apparent to both Rob and to me
that every time I do just about anything with my beautiful twin hooks, even
if I simply move them without actually using them to do anything, I almost
always attracted people's undivided attention along with their constant
stares. I would like to think that I usually attract people's attention and
stares because I wear beautiful twin hooks and/or because I wear beautiful
glasses with thick plastic lenses. However, I'm sure that I really attract
most people's attention and stares because I have no hands and/or because
I'm extremely myopic. Even so, regardless of why people constantly stare at
me, I really do enjoy all of the attention I get from just about everyone!
Meeting people now is an exciting experience for me because most people are
totally surprised when they realize that I have twin hooks instead of two
real hands. They're usually quite shocked when I very casually reach out
with my right hook to shake their right hand, or when I use my twin
prostheses to give them a welcoming hug. And I never refer to my twin hooks
as my "hands" because I don't have my two real hands any more. I'll have to
wear these twin hooks of mine for the entire rest of my life, and I'm very
proud of them, just like I'll have to wear these glasses of mine with their
thick lenses for the rest of my entire life, and I'm also very proud of
them! And I'm always very thrilled when people take special notice of my
beautiful twin hooks, most especially if they make any comments to me about
them or if they ask me any questions about them. When I know that other
people are watching me, nothing thrills me more than to use my twin hooks to
do something that most people think I can't do -- like writing, typing,
turning the pages of a book or a magazine, picking up a very small object,
etc. The main reason that I've become quite proficient at doing quite a few
things with my twin hooks is because I realize that I'm now a member of a
very small and a very elite group of women -- women who are real DBE
amputees and who also wear twin body-powered prostheses with twin hooks. I
want everyone to know just how proud I am to permanently be a member of
that very special group of DBE amputee women!
I'd been putting off letting my parents and Rob's parents see me
until I was quite confident that I would be able to actually show them not
only that I'd completely recovered from my twin amputations, but also that
I'd become very proficient at using my twin "prosthetic hands" in place of
my two amputated hands. I'd not yet told them, and they'd not yet seen,
that my twin "prosthetic hands" were really twin stainless steel hooks! Rob
and I had been phoning all four of them at least three times a week ever
since my "accident" and had been keeping them informed of my progress. Even
so, they had been very anxiously awaiting the chance to see me with my twin
"prosthetic hands" -- Rob and I really didn't know exactly what to expect
when they finally would see me with my beautiful twin hooks. I'd also
purposely not mentioned to any of them that I would never again be able to
wear my contact lenses, but that I would now always have to wear glasses
with thick plastic lenses. They already knew that I didn't always wear my
contact lenses, but they assumed that I wore them most of the time. All
four parents finally came to see both Rob and me on Saturday, June 23rd,
2001. They all did a lot of crying for the first few hours because they
were just absolutely devastated that I was going to be so severely and so
permanently "handicapped" for the rest of my entire life. Even Rob cried,
but I absolutely refused to cry. I couldn't cry because I was so happy to
be a real DBE amputee and so thrilled to have beautiful twin stainless steel
hooks in place of my two amputated hands! Their initial grief was soon
minimized when I showed them just how wonderfully my twin arm stumps had
healed and just how proficiently I could now use my beautiful twin body-
powered prostheses with their shiny plastic forearms, polished stainless
steel wrists, and polished Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks! Just like
almost everyone else, their attention was immediately focused on me whenever
I did anything with my twin hooks. Of course, they asked me how long it
would be before I would replace my twin hooks with a more natural-looking
pair of "prosthetic hands" - they referred to them as artificial hands. I
candidly told all four parents that even if I did eventually want to wear a
pair of artificial hands, I would most definitely only want to wear them on
those very few occasions when I wouldn't really have to use them very much
at all because they wouldn't be nearly as useful as my beautiful twin hooks.
I let all of them know just how extremely satisfied I was with my twin
hooks, and I think that I convinced all of them that I honestly didn't see
much sense in going to the trouble of getting a pair of artificial hands
that I would very seldom want to wear! Even though I'm quite positive that
all of them would prefer that I wear just about any kind of artificial hands
instead of my twin hooks, I'm sure that all of them realized that I was
definitely going to wear nothing except twin stainless steel hooks.
Similarly, it was easy for me to convince them that I now was also extremely
satisfied with my glasses with their thick plastic lenses, and that I didn't
see much sense in going to the trouble of wearing contact lenses that I
would be unable to insert and remove by myself! Of course, I'm also quite
positive that all of them would prefer that I wear just about any kind of
contact lenses instead of my glasses with their thick plastic lenses, and
I'm also sure that all of them realized that I was definitely going to wear
nothing except glasses with thick plastic lenses.
After my "show and tell" session with our four parents concluded, Rob
and I took them all out to eat. We went to the restaurant where I had
worked as a waitress for the past three summers, so I got the chance to show
off my twin hooks to everybody in the restaurant in addition to all four
parents! Neither my boss nor my coworkers at the restaurant knew anything
at all about my "accident" or the fact that I now had twin hooks instead of
two real hands, so they were all shocked when they saw me. They had all
thought that I had gotten another waitressing job somewhere else. I really
enjoyed the thrill that I got when those people saw my twin hooks for the
first time, and that's one of the real pleasures of being a DBE amputee that
I'll get to experience almost every day for the entire rest of my life! Our
dining experience went very well. I ordered a tossed salad and stuffed
shells, two things that I had no trouble at all eating using my twin hooks
and a fork. Just about everyone who was in the restaurant seemed to be
watching me eating at one time or another, so I must have been putting on
quite a show! I finished my meal first, and while everybody else was
finishing, I spent several more minutes visiting with both my boss and my
coworkers. I can't describe how good it felt to shake their hands with my
right hook and hug them with both of my twin prostheses, even though I'd
never really enjoyed shaking hands with people or hugging people when I had
my two real hands. I then specifically told my boss that I would only come
back to work as a waitress at his restaurant if I could be just as good a
waitress with my twin hooks as I had been when I had my two real hands. He
told me that my waitressing job would always be waiting for me whenever I
felt that I was ready to come back to work. Overall, this initial meeting
at the restaurant with our four parents, my boss, and my coworkers turned
out to be just exactly like my initial meetings with almost everybody. When
most people see me with my twin hooks, they react with a unique combination
of shock, sorrow, and sympathy, but then they quickly realize that I've
totally accepted the fact that I'm a 22 year old woman who'll be living the
entire rest of her life with twin hooks instead of two real hands.
Hopefully, they'll also realize that I'm going to definitely live every day
of my life by using my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their
Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks to successfully accomplish each and every
one of the things that I really want to and/or really need to accomplish!
As the summer progressed, I became more and more proficient at using
my twin hooks, and our four parents came to visit us three more times. On
Friday, July 6th, 2001, we all celebrated my 22nd birthday -- just two
months late -- and I was able to cut and serve my birthday cake all by
myself using my twin hooks along with a cake knife and a cake server!
That's just one example of the many skills that I'll have to become very
proficient at doing with my twin hooks before I can begin to start
waitressing again! Since I'd just re-passed my road test to renew my
driver's license, I showed off my new driving skills that evening by
chauffeuring everybody to the local dairy bar for ice cream. In addition
to the "CORRECTIVE LENSES REQUIRED" restriction which my license has always
had marked on it, it now also has a "DOUBLE-ARM PROSTHESES REQUIRED"
restriction marked on it. Even though I would probably be able to very
adequately drive almost any car/truck/van without my twin hooks by using
just my twin stumps all by themselves, I really enjoy turning the steering
wheel and operating all of the controls of motor vehicles using my twin
stainless steel hooks. While Rob and our four parents all ordered ice cream
cones, I ordered just a dish of ice cream, and I explained to the somewhat
embarrassed young waitress that I wasn't able to hold an ice cream cone with
either of my twin hooks without crushing it and making quite a mess of it.
Just eight days later, on Saturday, July 14th, 2001, Rob and I
finally got married, so our parents came back to see us once again. We had
our wedding ceremony at a small church, with about fifty close friends and
relatives as our guests. Most of our guests knew absolutely nothing of my
"accident" and were completely unaware that I now had twin hooks instead of
two real hands, so I spent almost all of the time before our ceremony
explaining how I had become a DBE amputee, and I also did a lot of
handshaking and hugging with my twin stainless steel hooks and my twin
prostheses. It's a good thing that I really do enjoy showing off my
beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with their Dorrance #5X stainless
steel hooks, and it's also a good thing that I don't really mind telling
people about my "accident" and my twin amputations, because I'll have to do
both of those things many more times for the entire rest of my life! And
now that I'm married, my twin hooks are even more beautiful than they were
when I first got them! Rob gave me a spectacular white gold engagement ring
and had it specially attached to my right hook, and he also gave me an
equally spectacular white gold wedding band and also had it specially
attached to my left hook. Rob and I wanted to have both of my rings made
from stainless steel, so that they would have exactly matched both my
beautiful twin hooks and the frames of my glasses, but we were unable to
find any kind of stainless steel engagement or wedding rings at all! All of
our many wedding photos show me wearing my beautiful twin stainless steel
hooks along with my two beautiful white gold rings, and that's just exactly
what Rob and I wanted every one of those photos to show. And concerning all
previous photographs of me, I've decided that I will systematically dispose
of any and all photographs that show me with my two real hands. I want
everybody to remember me not as I used to be -- having two real hands -- but
as I am now and as I will be for the rest of my entire life -- having
beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with beautiful twin Dorrance #5X
stainless steel hooks!
My summer of 2001 came to an end with my official graduation from
college on Sunday, August 19th, almost exactly three months after I was
initially scheduled to graduate. Of course, I was in the hospital
recovering from my "accident" at the time when I was originally supposed to
graduate, so my college decided to just postpone my official graduation
until the end of the summer, when all of the regular graduate students along
with a few select undergraduate students would have their graduation
ceremony. All four of our parents came to visit us again, for the fourth
time in three months, and I think that everyone in attendance was watching
me as I accepted my diploma with my left hook while I shook the dean's hand
with my right hook. Our parents took a whole lot of photographs, and all
of them showed me with both of my beautiful twin stainless hooks as well as
both of my beautiful white gold engagement and wedding rings in all of their
splendor!
On Monday, August 27th, 2001, I went to see if I still would have my
teaching job that I'd accepted before my "accident" -- I'd signed a
tentative teaching contract back at the end of April. When he first saw me,
the principal who had hired me was initially rather puzzled as to why I
wanted to speak with him, and when he noticed that I had twin stainless
steel hooks instead of two real hands, he didn't know what to say or do! Of
course, I then proceeded to tell him all about my "accident" and my twin
amputations, after which I showed him just some of the things that I was
able to do with my twin hooks. He was simply amazed when I showed him that
I could write, file papers, type, use a computer, use a copy machine, dial
and use a telephone, handle books and magazines, move chairs and desks, and
even open and close doors and drawers all by myself using only my twin
hooks! I met with all seven members of the Board Of Education later that
evening to show them that I was indeed still fully competent to teach, and
they were all equally amazed when I demonstrated just some of the things
that I could successfully do using my beautiful twin body-powered prostheses
with their Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks. To conclude my demonstration
of what I could do with my twin hooks, I signed my first official full-time
teaching contract in their presence, and then I shook hands with and hugged
each of the five men and two women members of the Board! I believe that I
left a lasting impression on all of them! Of course, I can imagine just
what some of the other teachers, staff members, parents, and even students
will say soon after they find out that a young "disabled" woman teacher who
not only wears glasses with thick plastic lenses but also has twin stainless
steel hooks instead of two real hands has actually been hired to teach
"disabled" students. I'll have to wait to see just exactly what happens
when I finally begin my teaching career on September 5th, 2001, but I'm very
confident that I can do at least as good a job teaching students as any
"non-disabled" teacher can do!
And it looks as though full-time teaching is not the only job that
I'll have. I've also signed a contract to appear in an instructional
videotape for the company that makes my twin body-powered prostheses. That
videotape will be used to help show other hand amputees not only how to
learn to live with their amputations, but also how to use their prostheses
to their greatest advantage. I specifically had it written into my contract
with that company that all of the profits resulting from anything that I do
for them must be donated to the H.A.N.D.S. Foundation. The H.A.N.D.S. --
Hand Amputees Needing Disability Services -- Foundation is a non-profit
organization that provides generous financial assistance to any hand amputee
who needs any kind of disability services, such as: surgery, prostheses,
rehabilitation, job training, etc. And I've also been contacted by a large
retail department store about possibly being one of their "disabled"
clothing models. If I do decide to do any work for them, I'll have them
agree that I will only model those clothes that amputees like myself and
other "disabled" people can wear right off-the-rack without any special
alterations or modifications. I'll also have them agree that all of the
profits resulting from my "modeling" must also be donated to the H.A.N.D.S.
Foundation. Of course, who knows whether or not an extremely myopic DBE
amputee woman like myself could be successful modeling the latest clothing
fashions while wearing beautiful glasses with thick plastic lenses in
addition to also wearing beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with
Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks!
[*****]
My Thoughts
Looking back on the past four months of my life, I couldn't be any
happier with the way things have worked out for me. If I had the
opportunity to change anything that I've done, I wouldn't change one single
thing! My purposely amputating both of my real hands in order to be able to
wear beautiful twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless
steel hooks was a choice that I voluntarily and deliberately made, and I'm
100%, absolutely, positively satisfied with my choice. The only regrets
that I have are: (1) I wish that there had been some way that I could have
obtained my twin amputations as some kind of "elective surgery" instead of
having to plan an "accident" in order to achieve them; and (2) I wish that
there had been some way that my parents, Rob's parents, all of my relatives,
and all of my friends could have been spared all of the pain and all of the
suffering that they have experienced as the result of my "accident" and my
twin amputations.
I fully realize that my twin amputations are permanent, and that I'll
never again have my two real hands for the entire rest of my life. However,
I'll never consider myself to be "handicapped" or "disabled" in any way.
I'm still absolutely thrilled to have my beautiful twin stainless steel
hooks instead of my two real hands, yet I realistically know that I'll
probably never be able to wear any prostheses that will allow me to do all
of the things that I could do when I had my two real hands. Even if I
become as skilled as I possibly can using my twin hooks, I'll probably never
be able to do such simple things as: opening a can or bottle, removing and
replacing a light bulb, peeling off a removable label, unwrapping a piece of
candy, getting money out of the coin return of almost any vending machine,
making a snowball, hitting a softball, using a scissors, etc., etc., etc.
And regardless of all of the things that I'll be able to do with my
beautiful twin hooks, I'll just be another "handicapped" or "disabled"
person in the eyes of many people. And many people will always feel sorry
for me, even though I'll never ever feel sorry for myself. Of course, I'll
never be able to tell most people that I voluntarily chose to become real
DBE amputee, that I willingly and deliberately planned an "accident" and
amputated my own two real hands just so that I could spend the rest of my
entire life wearing twin body-powered prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless
steel hooks. Even if I did tell them the truth, most people would never
understand why I voluntarily and purposely did what I did, nor will they
ever agree that I was justified in doing what I did. As I've said before,
those are just a few more examples of the "price" that I've willingly had to
"pay" to get my beautiful twin hooks. Still, even if I could, I wouldn't
change anything at all about everything that I've done over the past four
months because I'm so very happy that I've finally achieved my goal of
becoming a real DBE amputee and wearing beautiful twin body-powered
prostheses with Dorrance #5X stainless steel hooks!
[*****]
AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE
IF YOU THINK THAT YOU'D DEFINITELY LIKE TO BECOME A REAL DBE AMPUTEE
JUST LIKE ME, BE 100%, ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY CERTAIN THAT YOU FULLY
UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES AS WELL AS ALL OF THE VERY MANY
NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR DECISION. BE PREPARED TO ACCEPT AND LIVE WITH
ALL OF THOSE CONSEQUENCES FOR THE REST OF YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, JUST AS I HAVE
DONE! REMEMBER THAT MY PURPOSELY CHOOSING TO BECOME A REAL DBE AMPUTEE NOT
ONLY VERY PROFOUNDLY AFFECTED MY OWN LIFE, BUT IT ALSO VERY PROFOUNDLY
AFFECTED THE LIVES OF ALL OF THE MANY OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHO LOVE ME,
WHO KNOW ME, AND WHO ASSOCIATE WITH ME!
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THAT ANYONE DO EXACTLY
WHAT I HAVE DONE. IT HASN'T BEEN EASY FOR ME TO ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THE MANY
THINGS THAT I'VE SUCCEEDED IN ACCOMPLISHING OVER THE PAST FOUR MONTHS, BUT I
LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO THAT VERY FEW THINGS IN LIFE ARE EASY TO ACCOMPLISH,
AND I ALSO LEARNED THAT THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN LIFE ARE ALMOST
ALWAYS THE ONES THAT REQUIRE A PERSON TO DO THE MOST WORK.
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE TO HAVE
SUCCESSFULLY AND EASILY OBTAINED MY VOLUNTARY TWIN AMPUTATIONS, AND THAT I
HAVE BEEN EXCEPTIONALLY FORTUNATE TO HAVE SUCCESSFULLY AND EASILY ADAPTED TO
HAVING TWIN HOOKS IN PLACE OF MY TWO AMPUTATED HANDS. I HAVE ALSO BEEN
EXTRAORDINARILY FORTUNATE TO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PURSUE A GREAT CAREER
-- TEACHING "DISABLED" CHILDREN -- WHERE IT IS REALLY QUITE AN ASSET, AND
NOT ANY "DISABILITY" OR ANY "HANDICAP" AT ALL, TO BE A REAL DBE AMPUTEE AND
TO ALSO WEAR TWIN BODY-POWERED PROSTHESES WITH DORRANCE #5X STAINLESS STEEL
HOOKS!
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`-.^.-' (c) 2001 Anada e'zine by Carole `-.^.-'
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