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anada372
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.* O . . .. ..O .. 372 09 Jun 2001 ) ( ')
.* O O* o o o o o o o ( / )
* ***O O O O O O O O O \( _)|
* O o o.*..o.*..o.*..o. .net "Occupant" *
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* /,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,_ *
* |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-' by Infernal *
* '---''(_/--' `-'\_) *mE0w* o
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'Anada is cat-friendly..o*`
Do you understand how important this is to me? Do you feel the
tremor in my hands? Are you listening? I don't mean to bother you, really,
but this means a lot. Hello? Are you with me?
I don't think you're following me. Do you feel that unfillable gap?
Is that in you too, an almost physical abyss that you keep throwing lovers
and drugs into, hoping it'll heal over some day? Would you set your arm
on fire if it meant not being numb any more? Do you destroy because
creating is so slow and painful, like giving birth your entire life?
Would you kill your muse to make it shut up, to make it leave you alone, to
make it stop giving you bad directions and sending you careening off the
edge of your life and into misery?
Have I gotten through to you? Are you listening? Are you awake? I
hate to nag. It's just that this could be something you'll need to know
later. It could come to a point where you'll need to recall the words
I've said to you, and if you don't have them, you'll be sunk. Or are you
sunk anyway? Have you thrown away your last chance at peace? Or did you
have one? Were you, are you, can you be content? Does any measure taken
now stand a chance of making a difference later? Or does it all come to
nothing, and is it wasted breath for me to even warn you that the bridge is
out ahead, that the game is rigged, and that we've all been dealt a shitty
hand with a marked deck by a supercilious world and we need to leave the
table while we've still got the pride on our backs?
Please respond. RSVP. Drop me a line. Send me a smoke signal.
Shoot a flaming arrow into my chest, just notice me. Hear me. Listen to
me. Don't tune me out. I'd rather you listen and hate than ignore and
shrug. I don't just warn you for you, I do it for me, to salvage what
little I have in me, and to earn your trust and your gratitude. I do it for
me. I do it for me.
After all, who are you? What are you? Sawdust and straw in a
vacuum, foam rubber and heated coils waiting in suspended animation for me
to conduct you, to electrify you with purpose and animate you. How dare
you make a move without me? You contradict me as if you had any say in the
matter. Where are you going? Why don't you react? How far do I have to go
to regain control of this situation? This is an outrage!
Hello? Now what have I done? Where is everyone? It's never been
this dark and silent. I can't believe this has happened. All I wanted to
do was help. Help me, yes, but help you too. Why didn't you listen? Why
couldn't you see the good I had in mind for you? I had it all figured
out! Now no one is here to help me. No one.
Wait -- I hear someone.
Hello?
Are you there?
Do you understand how important this is to me?
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( o.o ) (c) Anada e'zine anada372 by Infernal o
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