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.* O . . .. ..O .. 311 15 Mar 2001 ) ( ')
.* O O* o o o o o o o ( / )
* ***O O O O O O O O O \( _)|
* O o o.*..o.*..o.*..o. .net "I'm Over It" *
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* |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-' by Infernal *
* '---''(_/--' `-'\_) *mE0w* o
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'Anada is cat-friendly..o*`
I'm over it. I'm over it.
Woke up in a pile of broken glass with blue lips, my fist through the
bedroom window, trails and trickles of the blood you used to simmer now
writing my name in cursive in the dust map of a floor I don't sweep.
I'm over it. I'm over it.
Told everyone I know how much better off I'll be without the
down-dragging pressure of a dour-faced liar playing possum and scrambling
my head with hypochondriac psycho surgery and screaming like a newborn for
endless attention.
I'm over it. I'm over it.
Lit a match and dropped it on the floor of the place I've spent four
years building, and almost didn't step on it when it caught my twenties and
started to burn, stinking with a plastic crackle like cellophane melting.
I'm over it. I'm over it.
Rationalized sixteen ways to Sunday mornin' how I oughta be happier,
oughta feel lucky I didn't end up infected or dead or married or otherwise
hamstrung by a situation with no happy ending.
I'm over it. I'm over it.
Drank myself sick and walked home in a frozen slush downpour, hoping
I'd get pneumonia and die, even though that wouldn't hurt you.
I'm over it. I'm over it.
Wrote a fucking War and Peace size journal worth of everything from
bile rants to calm dissections, trying to figure out how four months with a
bad deal could muck me up so fucking much, and make me so crazy when I
know, I know, I know it ended for the best.
I'm over it. I'm over it.
Woke up hammerhearted sweating thinking dwelling the one time one
minute one good night day spoon love fuck second when you might have dropped
the act let all that shitty baggage go retracted your claws put down the
razors spit out the cyanide and maybe I hope to God just for a quick second
actually meant what you said and gave a fucking hell about me.
I'm over it. I'm over it.
I'm not over it.
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( o.o ) (c) Anada e'zine anada311 by Infernal o
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