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anada299
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' anada "Yeah, That's Right" 25 feb '
' 299 by AlterEcho 2001 '
` `
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I don't like you.
I mean, I don't like you anymore. I used to like you. Maybe it used
to go deeper than that, you know? _I_ don't. Everything seems so blurry,
like I've got Glad Wrap over my eyes. Good shit too, that Glad Wrap.
Except when it's over your face. Then it's scary shit.
We used to be tight though. I won't deny that. Sometimes we'd just
look at each other and laugh, knowing exactly what the other was thinking.
That was kinda cool. Made me feel special, like we had a bond. Friends for
life.
I don't really know what changed. Did I? I don't think so. I love
telling people that I never change. It sounds so damn cool, yeah? Yeah.
I'm cool. A smooth little kitty cat, that's moi. But the truth is,
everybody changes. EVERYBODY. And sometimes it's just the little changes
that can mess up everything. Those damn little things, like freakin'
termites eating away at your house till it all comes tumbling down around
you. Unless you got a brick house, in which case I'd have to grab me
another analogy.
It would be so much easier if I could just say, "Yeah, it's all your
fault. I guess it turned out friendship meant different things to the two
of us." But I don't know if that'd be fair. And I want to be fair, NEED to
be fair. Integrity, keeps me going, don't you know. But perhaps you _did_
change. You found other people, maybe even _better_ people. People who
weren't me. People whom I could _never_ be. PEOPLE I DON'T WANT TO BE.
I'm still here though. I'm always here. I mean, it's not like I
really have anywhere else to go. If I did, I'd be there, let me assure you.
Who in their right mind sits up all night, every night writing, reading, and
writing some more? Go figure.
I guess I don't need you anymore. I don't need anybody anymore. I'm
cold, tough, UNTOUCHABLE, baby, yeah. I learnt how to get along without
other people there to hold me up. Sure, it's nice to have friends to lean
on once in awhile, and hell, even non-friends can be fun, but fun's hardly
essential now, is it? I needed you once though. You were there, I
remember. Do you remember? I suppose not. Otherwise you would've been
there the other times, when 'fun' would've kept me that much saner. But
that's all in the past, right?
Yeah, that's right.
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` anada299 by AlterEcho (c) 2001 anada e'zine `
