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.* * \ /\
.* O . . .. ..O .. 350 05 May 2001 ) ( ')
.* O O* o o o o o o o ( / )
* ***O O O O O O O O O \( _)|
* O o o.*..o.*..o.*..o. .net "The Boys With *
* O the Band" *
*. o |\ _,,,---,,_ *
* /,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,_ *
* |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-' by Princess Karebear *
* '---''(_/--' `-'\_) *mE0w* o
*. .......................................*
'Anada is cat-friendly..o*`
Every town has to have a high school band, and not in the marching
band sense. You know what I mean, a group of high school boys who eat,
sleep, and fuck music. They sweat that shit through their pores. Everyone
wants to believe that they'll make it big and that they could say that they
knew them in high school.
They are so swept up in knowing someone that "might someday be
famous" that they really don't realize that all they are seeing is a bunch
of pre-pubescent boys playing really shitty renditions of Nirvana songs.
You dont want to see that. Because if you notice that, then it takes away
from the whole mystique of knowing the "boys in the band." Let me tell you
about my experience with my home-grown high school band.
Spence was a nice looking boy. He was really religious, really
funny, really attractive, and had really nasty ass breath. He was a year
older than me which added to his 'really' list with "really dangerous"
because he was older. It was my 15th birthday when Spence asked me out. Of
course I about peed my pants because "OH MY GOD IT WAS AN OLDER GUY." I was
15 and dumb. Right after I accepted his proposal and scampered off to my
mom's waiting Taurus, he yelled a "HEY COME TO THE TALENT SHOW TOMORROW
NIGHT, MY BAND IS PLAYING."
My head was swimming in lots of Yoko-ish thoughts, 'Spence is going
to be famous and I am going to be a hot famous girlfriend that will do
interviews in Rolling Stone and everything will fucken rule.' But wait!
Tomorrow night??? Great Scott! It was the night of the beauty pageant that
I had been busting my ass for. The pageant that if I should win, my mom
wouldn't make me ever do pageants again. I pouted, then decided to go to
the talent show after the pageant.
The next night, I lost the pageant but didn't have the will nor the
time to sulk about it because I was going to see Spence's band, and I was
going to be the girlfriend of the guy who played.... wait I didn't know what
the hell it was the Spence did. He was in the band though, and by god it
was all that mattered.
I showed up through the back doors late and in my pageant hair glory.
The boys in the band where all lined up against the wall with a few assorted
girls.
There was Rodrigo, the mysterious, half way scary drummer; Drake, the
mysterious front man; Jake, the weird guy who followed me around the first
week of school and slobbered when he talked; Zeb, the disgusting and bitchy
guitarist; and Spence. They all kind of waved, except for Spence who made
me give him a big sloppy good luck kiss.
There were 2 girls, one of them was a pretty petite indian girl with
bleached hair and cool glasses who was in my german class. The other one
was a hair-lipped scary wreck of hell that I had never seen before. The
boys walked out on stage, and the hair-lipped freak grabbed me and the
bleached girl and ran us to the front of the auditorium.
The curtain opened, the guy announced, "HERE'S THE REVOLTING 4!!!!!"
over the mic and the boys appeared. I leaned over to the hair lip, "But
there are 5 guys out there, how come they are called the revolting 4?"
"Because they are doing that trip you out thing ya know.... WHOOOOAAAA!!!!!
YAYA!!!!!" she screamed, as did the people surrounding us, but the bleached
girl just sat there smiling. I liked her style.
Rodrigo went into a trance behind his drums, Drake danced and
screamed into the microphone from behind his big black bass that was
exactly the same as the one that I owned. Zeb wiggled his head and made
funny faces that made him look disgusting and Jake came unplugged and
looked like he would cry. It took me 2 minutes into the performance to
figure out that Spence was supposed to be a singer. "They need to get him
a tamborine or something," the hairlip said. I agreed.
Their music was punk. I hated punk when I was 15. "COME ON LET'S
RUN AWAY!!!" a pain striken Drake crooned. I clapped and smiled as it
ended. "You know that song was about Nikki Alcott right? Drake recorded it
for her and she let her boyfriend listen to it and Drake got his ass
kicked." I didn't care, I just wanted to make out with Spence, then go
home.
As I was walking out of the high school auditorium, all of the little
girls were raving about how cute Drake was. It was classic. The Hair-lip
talked and hung on me all night, her name was Tina and she was dating Jake
the slobbering guy. The Bleached girl's name was Maggie and she was Drake's
woman. We all went bowling after the talent show. Then we all went to see
a ska band in the next town the night after.
We were all a big crazy unit. From being in such close quarters with
them, I learned that Rodrigo held down 3 jobs and wasn't around much. I
learned that Tina and Spence both went to the same church which
coincidentally Drake's dad was the preacher at. It was weird to think that
they were all religioned out because those guys knew the best damn vagina
jokes I had ever heard.
I was just relieved that Maggie was my ally and wasn't in to the
whole bible thumping aspect of it. One weekend Drake, Spence and Tina all
went away on a bible retreat. Tina came back and broke up with Jake, Drake
broke up with Maggie and Spence broke up with me, then all of the guys
kicked slobbering Jake out of the band. Maggie was just pissed, I was ready
to move on and Jake cried all the time, during school, at work, everywhere.
They suddenly hated Maggie and called Tina, their biggest fan, Tuna.
Then a few monthes later, Spence was out too. About 2 weeks later I started
dating Drake. We would break up, make up, and hang out all the time. He
was obsessed with hanging out with my brother, and having sex with me while
we were broken up. He was a superstitious semi-redneck guy who would take
me on dates to really nice restaurants and talk about how he wanted to kill
the guy who raped me when I was younger. He was my best friend.
I went to their shows and started hanging out with smelly Zeb too. I
was really high one night and decided to actually give in when he asked me
out. I broke up with him a week later. School started and it was all down
hill from there. Pretty soon the boys that I had followed so desperately
were carving "slut" into my locker, flooding my email account with nasty
notes and writing really disturbing things about me on the bookshelves in
the library.
Maggie and I started going to shows together and eventually started a
band with Rodrigo's little brother as our drummer. A few months back they
did an interview in the school newspaper. They were larger than life in
their own mind. 3 shows back Drake played naked and Zeb made fun of people
in the audience over the mic. I was included in these stupid antics, what
they didn't see was that the only people there were either drunk or felt
sorry for them. Their last show only had 2 people at it. They still swear
that "We'll get signed!!!!"
I ran into Rodrigo this afternoon. He hasn't ever been mean to
anyone in his whole life.
"Hey Princess, whats the good word?"
"Can't say I have heard a good one in a while, how's the band?"
"The fucken dream is over. I just wish Drake and Zeb would see it
too so they will get on with their fucken lives."
I smiled. The boys in the band weren't going to last forever, we all
knew it. But Maggie and I were the only ones who heard the death rattle.
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( o.o ) (c) Anada e'zine anada350 by Princess Karebear o
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