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anada336
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.* O . . .. ..O .. 336 17 Apr 2001 ) ( ')
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* ***O O O O O O O O O \( _)|
* O o o.*..o.*..o.*..o. .net "Jamie Says Cars Go 'VERRRT'" *
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* |,4- ) )-,_..;\ ( `'-' by Gloomchen *
* '---''(_/--' `-'\_) *mE0w* o
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'Anada is cat-friendly..o*`
Will you let me drive your car?
Sarah lets me drive her car. She let me drive her old car, too. She
even lets me drive her mom's car. It's a station wagon, and she used to be
a school bus for farm kids, so by regulation it has a beep on it for when
you are in reverse. I call it the Beeper Car. I like to drive it in
reverse. It goes BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. Sarah also let me drive her dad's
truck. I drove it on the highway, it was almost impossible to make it go 65
mph and then someone stopped in front of us quick and I had to slam on the
brakes and we came about half an inch from the bumper.
In my own car, I have only had a couple of accidents. I once backed
into a Cadillac and did 126 damage (but my insurance company had more hit
points). I lovetapped a Subaru once and did no damage. A Ford F150 did
4600 damage to my Dodge, which put it in the graveyard. But my Pikamobile
is UNDEFEATED!#@! It even won against hail!
Tom let me drive two of his cars. One was so beat up that it would
smile at you. They pushed a dumpster down an alley which put a big dent
in the front bumper, it was so happy that it smiled. Then they sold it to
the fire department to set on fire. I drove his Escort, it went 0-60 in
895.3 seconds. I almost backed it into a cop car on purpose, they kicked us
out of a party.
My mom let me drive two of her cars, and I drove my brother's car a
couple of times, too. And a long long time ago, I drove my friend's mom's
car for fun. And I drove a driver's ed car. And I drove a rented Geo Metro
after my Dodge got owwies. I think that is all the cars I have ever driven.
Besides test driving anyway.
People let me drive their cars because I do not drive like a maniac.
Okay I am lying. But nobody has died because I have been driving a vehicle.
It's fun to go fast. Jamie always used to say cars go "VERRRRRRRRRT,
VERRRRRRRRRRRT." Most people say that cars go "vroom" or maybe even
"neeerooom" around a corner on a racetrack. But when you are playing Micro
Machines, cars definitely go "VERRRRT."
I think it would be fun to drive a bus. You pull over all the time
to pick up people and block the road because your vehicle is so big. You
can kick people off for being rowdy. Crazy people can strap bombs to it and
so you have to drive over 55mph or they will blow up!!! That would suck
because then all the passengers would die!!! And the driver too!!!
Driving a semi would suck nuts. You can't go fast up a hill and all
the little cars cut in front of you and make you swerve off the road and
roll down a 50 foot embankment and the top of the tractor crushes in and you
get pinned down by the giant steering wheel and power lines are everywhere
and if you move you will be electrocuted, and then you go into a coma. That
does not sound like much fun.
I could learn how to drive a motorcycle. I can already ride a
bicycle, I'd just have to learn how to deal with clutches and gears and
using your hands to do complicated things other than just hold on for dear
life. It's like riding a rollercoaster car though, and I get sick on merry
go rounds so maybe I should just stay away from motorcycles. I rode on a
Harley once though, in a sidecar. It was fun.
Maybe I should fly an airplane! It would be fun to make noises along
with my plane when I am taking off and landing and stuff, I could pick up
the intercom and go "NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWMMM" to
the whole plane and they could say it along with me. Then I would say,
"Now we are flying over Nebraska. There is nothing here but cows. Look,
some cows! Say hi to the cows! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And we would be
a big loud mooing airplane, and all the cows would look up and wave and moo
back at us!
If you have an airplane, please let me fly it.
I really hate trains. They go by my house all the time and make my
monitor shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake your booty. And people
who have never been to my house or never been in Dubuque think it's an
earthquake. Ok so we've had earthquakes before, but come on. I also hate
trains because when you go to Sarah's house they are right outside and the
horn blasts and it drowns out everything. And they can't get a cordless
phone because the train interferes with it. The only thing that is neat
about trains is that they will squish pennies. Then mom yells at me for
playing by the railroad tracks. Therefore, trains are not cool.
Maybe if I grew up in a big city, I would like subways and trolleys
and things like that. But big cities are dirty and full of mean-looking
people that want to steal your hat and your shoes. Plus I think it would
not be cool to be driving one of those things and have some homeless person
get on and then die in the seat. When you die, you poop your pants. That
would stink a lot and people would complain and what are you going to do,
stop the subway to shovel out a dead guy? Sure it might make the people in
the current subway car happy, but everyone who is waiting for the subway
will be pissed that you are late.
So, anyway. Will you let me drive your car?
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( o.o ) (c) Anada e'zine anada336 by Gloomchen o
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