Ubiquitous Issue 1 File 6: Ripping Food and Drink Vending Machines in Australia
Ripping Food and Drink Vending Machines - in Australia:
By mE!
I suppose most of you have heard about getting free shit from vending machines one way or another, well I will go into detail about a usually guaranteed way of scoring big time. But first:
There are many ways to rip a machine some of the more popular ways are as follows:
On a food machine you can....
....rock the shit out of it until all the chip packets and candy bars fly out of their little holders into the chute where you (the dirtball who pulled the filthy low down scumbag of a trick) stock up on the goods. :-)
....stick a coat hanger into the slot and swipe the food by hooking it out into the chute where you stash it all into a bag.
....cut the glass with a glass cutter, pulling the piece you just cut out with a suction cup, and sticking your hand into the machine and nicking whatever takes your fancy. (This will attract a shit load of attention especially with the glass cutter making the loudest fucking noise - well it seems like it's loud when you're trying to get in to a machine ;-) ) It is best to do this in a quiet place where no bastard is looking! ....stick quick hardening clay in the keyhole wait a few minutes then turn the bastard. If someone comes it is easy to crush the thing!
NOTE: There are some new food machines which fork out chocolate bars and shit like that which operate like the drink machines so you won't be able to apply to above methods on them. (Although you might get lucky by applying method 1 or method 2 but I rather doubt it.
On a drinks machine you can....
....stick you arm up the chute and empty the machine manually.
....put an object like a piece of wood right up into the chute out of sight and leave it for a while, returning later to collect your hard earned drinks ;-) (this is a real bastard of a thing to do so don't do it - ok ;-)
Those were a few ways of getting a rather cheap meal but none of them are guaranteed. Either you find you've been wasting your time to no avail, or you end up on the wrong side of a door with iron bars on it at your local friendly pig shop for the night.
The method I will now describe in detail to you is guaranteed 90% of the time and is always the most profitable.
The Salt Water Method:
This method is well known of but lots of people claim that it doesn't work. I can assure you it works and it works well; providing you follow the method laid out here, you should get a reasonable success rate!
Stuff you will need:
- 1.25 Litre PLASTIC soft drink bottle.
- Screw on plastic bottle top
- Blu Tac
- Drinking straw - McDonalds ones are the best.
- Knife
- Water
- Salt
- Rubber Glove
- Towel
Cut the straw in half. Next cut a hole in the top of the cap with the knife allowing the straw to just fit through without being squashed. Wrap the Blu Tac around the straw on both the inside and out side of the cap sealing it. You can check if it air tight by screwing the cap onto the bottle and blowing in the straw. If no air escapes through the sides then you have done well. (Note the cap will be hard to screw on the first time due to the blu tac being on the inside of the cap. However it putting the blu tac on the inside of the cap seals it better). You now have the bottle set up - now all you need is to make up the salt water.
Mixing the Saline Solution:
The idea is to get as much salt as possible dissolved into the water without having any salt left over on the bottom of the bottle. Hot water will dissolve the salt faster and dissolve more of it than cold water (this is called a super saturated solution). However if you let the water cool down again you will find that some of the salt appears on the bottom of the bottle which we don't want to happen. So it is important to keep the water as hot as possible. (Note it is better to mix your own saline solution than using sea water).
What to do now:
Take the bottle full of saline with the cap and straw screwed on tightly, to your vending machine. Stick the straw into the money slot and squeeze the bottle. You will hear the water trickling inside the machine and will the the "Please use correct change" light flashing on and off a few times. Next you should hear the sound of the machine short circuiting. Money should start pouring into the coin return slot - however it doesn't always do this straight away. Now it is time to get the drinks or food. Put the rubber glove on to protect yourself from being electrocuted. Wipe the outside of the machine dry with the towel. Now start pressing the buttons and wait. Items should start falling be it food or drinks. Squirt some more saline solution into the money slot and the drinks sometimes fall without you having to push the buttons! However the more water you pour in the more likely you re of getting money to pour out from the coin return slot. Once the money is coming out and the items are falling - DON'T put any more water into the machine as you will either electrocute yourself or blow up the machine!
How it all works:
As you may know salt water (saline) has a higher conductivity than plain water, however undissolved salt does not conduct at all. (This is why it is bad to have undissolved salt left over in the bottle). What happens is the machine registers a credit when a coin passes a conductor. If you pour salt water through the system it will short circuit this conductor and also short circuit the change/money return conductor. So the machine is fooled into thinking that money is constantly being put into the machine and will thus dish out free shit and give change.
Other shit you should know:
If you put money in when the machine is short circuited it will either sit there or fall through to the coin return slot. If it sits there then you are in luck as you can leave the machine in that state and people will put their money in and get a drink or food not knowing that they don't need to put any money in. If you come back later and press the coin return button you will get their money. The customer is happy as they got their drink or snack and you are happy as you get a little bit of cash! Ofcourse we all know who is unhappy. ;-)
Don't expect to become a millionaire by getting the money out of the machine. The most I ever got was ten bucks all in ten cent and five cent pieces. At least it pays for petrol or a train ride! (NOTE there are two money boxes in the machine. One holds all the money that is put in the machine by people who buy the drinks and the other holds the money that gives change. You can only get the money out of the change box).
Try and keep the outside of the machine dry - the number of times I have been zapped by fucking machines is not funny, the risk of electrocution is there and there is no fucking point is being dead since you can't enjoy the rewards of a hard nights work! The highly conductive salt water can pour out of the buttons you are trying to press and fuck you up when you press them.
What Machines to try:
Any machine that registers a credit by passing an electrical current through the coin has the potential to dish out free stuff. This usually means a machine that has the ability to give change. This includes drink machines, food machines, cigarette machines etc. However not all of them will work I know of one make of Pepsi dispensing machine that won't work. The Coke machines usually work though. Just don't be disillusioned if it doesn't work - try on another machine.
Any machine that registers a credit by activating switches by it's mass will NOT work. This means telefones and the like. You can however get free phone calls and stuff by inducing a large current but I will go into that in another text file.
Final Words:
Try to do this in the dark as it looks bloody suspicious you holding a bottle up to a machine, stuff landing in the dispenser, money flying out and water flowing out of the bottom of the machine! Also don't go back to the same machine all the time as when they find the machine with no drinks in it and no money in the machine they are going to wonder what the fuck is going on - they may even have the machine watched.
I hope this text file has been useful look out for more by me. Just one last thing - If you are going to do this, pick on bigger companies rather than small business - it is better to hurt the fat overfed shithead bastard of a capitalist scumbag than the little person. ;-)
This Phine text Phile by mE!
(Remember BigBrother is watching you!)
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