Smoke and Mirrors Issue 2 - I'm Getting Better?!?

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in

Smoke and Mirrors

· 3 years ago

I'm Getting Better?!?
by Michael Hahn

I'm turning thirty-five this month. Yeah, I know it's not supposed to be a big deal, but after a lifetime of filling out forms of one kind or another, I find myself moving into a new set of demographics. It's the box titled "Age:"

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 under 18 [] 18-34 [] 35-55 [] 55 and older [] 
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and for the last sixteen years, I've been in the second category.

This year I join the folks in the 35-55 range.

What does it mean, exactly? Well, those under 18 are "just kids." The 18-34 crowd is composed of "young adults." I'm moving into the bracket called "middle age." Middle age. It brings to mind mid-life crises, where middle-aged men divorce their wives, buy toupÇes, and date high school cheerleaders. Middle age means spreading waistlines, gray hair (provided you don't lose it first), and a whole new set of creaks and groans. Middle age is when the music of your youth is now playing on the oldies station.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. I still have my hair, I'm only ten pounds overweight, and I haven't developed any particular attraction to teen-aged girls yet. The creaks and groans are beginning to surface, though, and I've found a couple of strands of silver among the blond locks. The morning walk to the bathroom seems a little bit longer than it used to be. I just quit my job of the last six and a half years to take a new job in a different field. Oboy. Mid-life crisis?

Whatever the reason, I'm feeling this birthday a little more than the last few. Maybe it's that little box on the form. Maybe it's that I'm halfway between thirty and forty. Maybe it's just a shortage of bran in my diet . . .