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Electric Dreams Volume 06 Issue 08
May your dreams do their magic in your life.
Bob Krumhansl
Electric Dreams Electric Dreams Electric Dreams
Electric Dreams Electric Dreams Electric Dreams
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E L E C T R I C D R E A M S
Volume 6 Issue #8
AUGUST 1999
ISSN# 1089 4284
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Electric Dreams on the World Wide Web
USA
www.dreamgate.com/electric-dreams
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Send Dreams and Comments on Dreams to:
Richard Wilkerson <rcwilk@dreamgate.com>
Send Dreaming News and Calendar Events to:
Peggy Coats <pcoats@dreamtree.com>
Send Articles and Subscription concerns to:
Richard Wilkerson: <rcwilk@dreamgate.com>
For back issues, dream groups, editors addresses
and other access & Staff see
ELECTRIC DREAMS ACCESS INFORMATION
at the end of this issue
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C O N T E N T S
++ Editor's Notes
Special Thanks to Bob Krumhansl
++ Dream Airing: Notes to the Editor, News, Updates.
++ ASD Conference 99 - what you missed! - Richard Wilkerson
++ Poem: Poem of the Past by Linda Lane Magalln
++ Special Section: Dream Sharing with Serbia
A special report of a dream group held during the Crisis in Kosovo: Transcripts and notes by
Richard Wilkerson & Branka
Introduction
Question Phase of DreamWheel
Replies from Dreamer
Comment Phase of DreamWheel
Replies from Dreamer
Extra Notes from Dreamer
++ New Web Site: Dream Analysis by Dream Counsel
++ Research Request: Computer's in Dreams : Pre and Post Internet Perceptions.
Part I Pre-Net Dreams - Richard Wilkerson
DREAM SECTION - with Bob Krumhansl
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AUGUST 18, deadline for submission
FOR Next Electric Dreams vol 6(9)
The millennium year Continues - send in dreams
about the future, the year 2000 or related themes!
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Editor's Notes
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In this issue we are offering a full transcript of a dream group held with a Serbian woman during
the Kosovo Crisis. I feel this group is such a good example of how dreamwork at a grassroots
level is an international tool of understanding. Carl Jung often followed the Neo-Platonic notion
that there is a personal soul, but also an Oversoul. Because of the mystical connection between
these two souls, Jung always referred to the self as the Self, with a capital "S".
At the beginning of our dream group, there were people that immediately left on moral grounds
and refused to do dreamwork "with the enemy". Many of us were very nervous about the
situation. What kinds of projections would we bring to the group process? Could we get past the
media propaganda pouring out from both sides? For those who stayed, transformations occurred.
It was very difficult to polarize the political situation and see the Serbian people as a real enemy,
regardless of my feelings toward their leadership and military. I feel this reflected a whole cultural
attitude that many of us online felt both inside and outside of dreamsharing. Branka, our Serbian
dreamer, struggled with the polarization, trying to separate NATO politics from
European/American Culture. As with all struggles of this nature, nothing is ever very clear or
cleanly separated. As we explore our souls and the souls of our friends online, this not-so-clean
reality seems the only thing that is clear. Branka's dream, significantly, was about a hero's
uniform that hung empty in a closet. Be sure to read this "Dream Sharing with Serbia" Special.
Just in from the Association for the Study of Dreams: Conference 1999 was a success! In a
short article I give a few personal reflections on the conference and where things are heading in
dreams and dreaming. See "Reflections on California Dreaming".
Taking a break after a long conference, some of our regular contributors will return this Fall.
Peggy Coats coordinated not only the week long Computer Cafe, but also the Dream and the
Internet Panel. Many thanks to her and we all look forward to the return of the Global Dreaming
News. Linda Magallon will be back this Fall with more news and challenging ideas in Dream
Trek, and in the meantime has send in a special entry, "Poem of the Past."
Take Note: Next month we will have a special focus on dreams and creativity and a special Host
Editor who I would like to introduce to you now:
Hi, I'm Kathleen Meadows and I will be your special host for the September issue of Electric
Dreams.
Electric Dreams is a community effort e-zine and I would like to call on you as cyber-dream
pioneers to join me in making this a memorable issue.
If you would like to contribute, I am looking for:
Dreams you have used for creative purposes & what happened
Your favorite Dreams and Creativity Books, and why
Historic uses of dreams and creativity: examples
Suggestion for using dreams creatively
Workshops and classes you offer or have been to and about them.
Please send all material to Kathleen <kathleen@dream-quest.com>
Deadline: Wednesday August 11
SPECIAL THANKS TO BOB KRUMHANSL
This is Bob Krumhansl's last month as Dream Editor. :( Bob has taken our very disorganized
dream section and made it into a thematic beauty that allows people to find and read dreams and
comments on dream each month from various interest areas, such as dream an travel, dreams and
spirituality, dream and conflict, ect.
Bob, you have really given dreaming in Cyberspace a friendly face and your organizational
Dream Section is going to be greatly missed!
I probably shouldn't say this, as I would like for someone else to step up and take over as Dream
Editor, but it takes a lot longer to do this section than one might guess. Even when I was just cut
and pasting them in no particular order, it would take half a day. Bob not only puts all the dreams
into one document, but organizes them and has offered us a summary and editorial every month
since volume 2 Issue 13, October 1995!
Fortunately, Bob is not Leaving Electric Dreams, just stepping down as Dream Editor. I look
forward to hearing more from you soon.
Thanks again Bob for being a pioneer Internet dream sharing and dreamwork. Your dreams will
circulate forever in Cyberspace and in our imaginations.
- Richard
rcwilk@dreamgate.com
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Dream Airing:
News, Notes and Events
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The Global Dreaming News with Peggy Coats will return next month on Electric Dreams. If you
have dream book reviews, film reviews, updates on web sites or any other dream events and
news, send that to Peggy Coats pcoats@dreamtree.com before Aug 15th.
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DreamLife: Lucid Dreaming in the Netherlands.
http://members.tripod.lycos.nl/blankenThe main bulk is in the
Dutch language,but there are however topics in English available
: joining my dreamcircle is possible and maybe it is interesting
for you that you can contact ( carolus@dds.nl ) me in the
Dutch,English,French or German language. Furthermore there are
some Articles in the English language and one in French. Also my
Review of the Lucid Dream Liteature is available , and the
Links of course
You may recall Carolus M. den Blanken from his many other lucid
dream resources, inluding his speech at the European Association
for the Study of Dreams:
http://www.dreamgate.com/dream/blanken2.htm
His book on le Marquis d'Hervey-Saint-Denys
http://www.dreamgate.com/dream/denys.htm
And the best Lucid Dream bibliography online:
http://www.dreamgate.com/dream/bibs/blanken.htm
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Book on CD:
A Brief History of Dream Sharing: Theory Techniques and
Cyberspace. By Richard Wilkerson
Available direct via DreamGate or via Amazon.com
This CD is really 3 books in one! The first part of the computer
CD is an easy to follow class on dreamwork that starts from the
beginning of time and ends with the new dream sharing practices
in Cyberspace. This course will let you in on all the major
developments in dreamwork and dream science, dream anthropology,
lucid dreaming, and dream sharing.
The second part of the CD is a collection of essays by Richard
Wilkerson over the last decade, including Dream Sharing in
Cyberspace articles as well as Postmodern Dreaming essays and
more. Over 20 essays!
The final part of the CD is a resource and bibliography guide.
The bibliography itself if worth the cost of the CD, with
thousands of entries of titles of dream books, articles and
chapters on dreams in textbooks often hidden from the usual
search methods.
CD may be used on most computers with a web browser such as
Netscape, Internet Explorer, or AOL. For faster delivery, order
directly from the publisher with check or money order for $29.95
plus $3.95 shipping and handling: 15% (reduced to $25.46)
discount if you order direct within 30 days and
mention you saw this offer in Electric-Dreams. California
residents add 8.5% ($2.16).
Dream CD
DreamGate
PMB 171-w
4644 Geary Blvd
San Francisco, CA 94118
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Lucid Dream Induction: Run by myself, Erin J. Wamsley -- site
contains background and information on lucid dreaming, some of my
own personal research, a program for the induction of lucid
dreams compiling various techniques, links, documents, and an
active message board.
http://members.aol.com/aarenka/lucidintro.html
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ASD Conference 99 - What You Missed! - Richard Wilkerson
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During the Dream Ball on the last night I was chatting with our host Veronica Tonay and asked
what time the buildings would be unlocked in the morning so I could get my computer equipment
out of the Computer Cafe. Peggy Coats had already taken her equipment out and I had earlier
helped Robert Bosnak mail his computers back. Veronica said the volunteers would be up late
and so probably get up late. EEEEK. That decided it, I asked for the key and packed up during
the Dream Ball. Just before I left I saw a huge turtle swimming across the Dream Ball floor. The
turtle was complaining as it swam about being at a party and all the people talking to other people
and doing things so fast and it wanted some attention, maybe someone would take the time to talk
to a slow dream turtle? Thanks to Jill Gregory for that.
And thanks to Peggy Coats for the Computer Cafe and her persistence through all the
difficulties. It was a comedy of errors as usual. The school was designated as one of top 10 wired
schools just before we closed the contract with them. So they decided they wanted tons of money
for what, just a few moments ago, was free. As you might guess, this quickly went beyond ASD's
budget so the computer connections once again went from a non-problem to central issue.
After several months and a host of stories I could write a book about, the cafe opened! One of
the more unique projects was Robert Bosnak's cyberdreamwork
http://www.cyberdreamwork.com.
Since ASD doesn't allow dreamwork online, he decided to be his own subject. Robbie connected
with three other people on the east coast via Internet voice conferencing and they asked him
questions about a dream he had that morning. Robbie was connected also to a GSR, just like the
old scientology e-meters, only much more sophisticated. We were able to watch his "inner"
reactions to the dreamwork on a moving graph. This allowed us to watch not only Peaks and
slumps in reaction, but also to watch over mood trends and patterns. I wasn't as convinced that
there were discernable patterns, but its always fun to see an amplification of what I would call the
"blush" factor.
Passing of the Crown. Patricia Garfield, who has been doing research lately on Universal
Dreams (common dream themes taxonomy www.patriciagarfield.com) handed the presidency
over to Alan Siegel. I'm personally happy about this as Alan is a big supporter of online activities.
Patricia too has been very supportive of the online growth. I really feel this is a place ASD can
get more bang for the buck in fulfilling its educational mission statement.
However, the BIG story, internally, is the vote to take George Degnon & assoc. on as the
financial manager for ASD. George will be handling just about all the business office decisions
and planning once the transition takes place. Rita Dwyer and the Vienna Crew will be closing up
shop by the end of the summer. Fariba Bogzaran is about to open up the "heart" office of ASD at
JFK University here in the Bay Area, pending some final meetings.
The conference itself was really fun for me. I had a bag full of agendas, like getting release forms
for more articles online and recording voices of dream authors saying profound things. I didn't
have time to do much selling of my Dream - Book on CD, A Brief History of Dream Sharing, and
sold exactly 3 copies, one the way out of the conference!
Some predominate stage scenes for me were the campus itself. In the morning the fog lingered in
the redwood forest. By the end of breakfast it had usually backed off an one could see from the
courtyard down across the fields to the ocean. Nice temperatures all day, and then after sunset the
fog would roll back in. On my walks to my dorm room I saw families of deer, skunks, raccoons
and various other little critters.
Much of the conference for me took place in the Cafeteria. I got ten times the info and update
and connection there than any of the lectures. I think I planned much of my next decade there.
Thursday was the peak cyber-day for me. Things really got global in the morning with the invited
speaker Stephen Aizenstat. For those not familiar with Stephen, he runs the Pacifica Graduate
Institute and teaches a form of dreamwork very akin to Hillman's archetypal psychology. Lately
he has gone global with the promotion of the Earth Charter. This Charter recently failed to be
ratified by the United Nations and Stephen was discussing with Gorbachov why this happened,
why can't some simple notions about living together in a global village in an ecologically sound
way be accepted? Can't the world be saved?
Stephen suggested, in true archetypal psychology fashion, that perhaps the ego notion of saving
the world needed to be changed. Perhaps we need to listen to what the world wants and needs
instead of imposing agendas. This appealed to Gorbachov and he suggested to Stephen to
develop a community that could learn to listen to the world. Aizenstat suggested that ASD
dreamworkers already had these skills and they could be brought to bear globally, to teach the
world how to listen the world dreaming. He got a standing ovation.
This set things up nicely for our Dreams and Internet panel. We had twice the number of folks
as the last panel (that is, about 20). Sadly, Linda Magallon ended the Fly by Night club research
phase. Hopefully the fun will still continue. I will give a wider summary of this panel on Electric
Dreams. This panel repeated the original optimism of the Berkeley Panel in 96 and expanded the
notion of the Internet in its new transformations which will occur shortly and basically, make the
whole world come alive and present.
The next presentation I went to that day was a paper session with Jayne Gackenback and others
who didn't show up. So Robert Bosnak filled in. Only a few people came. Then Stephen Aisenstat
and Gayle Delaney came in and it became one of those special events where it felt like the future
of the world was being planned. We got very creative in exploring what the Internet penetrated
world would look like in the next decade or so. Some of the main concerns were about the next
generation, what are they going to be like growing up with the Net compared to us growing up
with TV or our grandparents growing up with Radio? We discussed how young boys like video
games and are (thereby?) very interested and adept at lucid dreaming. Young women tend to like
chat rooms over video games. But again, the key feeling seemed to be the notion that the screen
interface we use now will soon collapse and the Net will be everywhere, the world will be quite
alive. (eeeek!) My own feeling is that dreamwork online tends to slow the pace of accelerated
selections along intagrated circuits nervous system and open soulful moments of time/space in the
body electric. I'm looking forward to the dream journals that will automatically generate a movie
of my dream.
Alan Flagg, heir to the Kilton Stewart collection was there and I got to see the docu-drama for
the first time. I hear it was aired in Hawaii last year and is now available for general purchase.
The film focused on the current folks in the area doing dreamwork and on a kind of collage of
Stewart and Noone's journey. It seems clear there are people doing dreamwork there, but just
what it all means is very unclear to me as a Westerner. They had a case, for example, of a tribes
person who had a dream of crossing a river. They had cut down a tree to cross, then panicked as
they were crossing due to water bubbling up and the dreamer went back to the shore. The
dreamer told the dream to the shamen---(I was told at the conference that native people's around
the world *hate* the world "shaman" that we use, as it implies a kind of doctor with hierarchical
status, when in fact ~everyone~ in the tribe is considered to have some special gift to give the
group) - to a group of elders who interpreted the dream. After much deliberation and after calling
more powerful Jaguar shaman in to confer, they decided that the dream meant it was going to
rain.
I suppose there was a mythic union moment for the group as this interpretation came about, but
I was a little disappointed. I suppose it is my western prejudice and I am so detached from the
simple rhythms of life that I need to see more in a dream than the weather, or no longer find soul
in weather.
A person in the film directly asked one of the respondents about the way they dreamed, in the
Senoi fashion, and they were very hesitant to talk about it. They said there dreaming is so
developed that it would be like a person who knows quantum physics talking to someone who
can't add. (my metaphor). They said that they develop dreaming into something quite advanced,
while Westerners dream child's dreams their whole life.
Change all the Dream Science Books!
For some time, many dreamworkers have know intuitively that Hobson's activation-synthesis
model was somewhat lacking, but there hasn't been much science to dispute it.
Briefly, and with limited understanding on my part, the activation-synthesis theory held that
random firing in the pontine brain stem into the neocortex caused dreaming. The cyclic REM
activation was received in the neo-cortex and attempted to synthesize the input as best it could.
The research has mostly been based on some skimpy chemistry, studies with cats and a case or
two about lesions in the pontine brain stem. But no one who refuted it had much say in the world
of science.
Mark Solms (brain surgeon) , who wrote the recent book The Neuropsychology of Dreams
explored a huge spectrum of brain lesion information and has proposed a compatible, but much
more expanded theory.
Generally, Solms feels that we need to let go of REM as having anything significant to do with
dreams and dreaming. Yes, REM seems to activate the brain and it is easier to recall dreams from
REM, but for Solms, this is confusing one of several ignition switches for the whole engine.
Dreams are started by many things, such as sleep onset before REM takes place, in some epileptic
brain events and at sleep offset at places where REM does not figure in. The key is that dreams
are a higher brain thing, having little to nothing to do with pontine brain stem rem cycles.
It appears to Solms that the dream begins (biologically) in the mid-foreground of the brain and
heads backwards. Its is interesting to note that it is absent in the most outer tips, both frontal
neo-cortex and the furthest back visual structures where direct seeing would occur. It does locate
itself in more complex visual structures, in places in the brain were sensory-locomotion-spacial
crossroads exist and in emotional associated parts of the brain.
Anyway, I'm just spewing this off the top of my head from memory and giving some
impressions of the new directions that physiological/biology research will be taking in this regards.
Hobson himself is now working with Solms and has given in to most of Solms research
speculations.
What does this mean for dreamworkers? Probably very little. We already know that dreams are
more about feeling than thinking, that they create worlds (spaces), tend to be imagistically
oriented and find it nearly useless to see dreams as random.
What now does get confusing is how to teach about dreaming without referring to REM. All
those nice statistics about how many dreams we have and for how long are dust in the wind.
Row, row, you boat!
-Richard
Hey, we are considering a cyber-dream connection to the Conference 2000 and need to do a
test run - anyone interested in experimenting, drop me a line. We will have folks from Italy,
France, Australia, Mexico and more.
-Richard
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Poem of the Past
Copyright 1999 Linda Lane Magall¢n
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"In Freud's approach, dreams were examined for information about
the past--the hidden infantile sources which had energized the
dream."
Robert L. Van de Castle
Yesterday's dreams reach out for Paul
with the arms of his torn teddy bear
who sits on the broken chair in the hall.
Yesterday's dreams reach out for Paul.
Will he ever repair them all?
They stretch to embrace him but touch only air.
Yesterday's dreams reach out for Paul
in the tears of his old teddy bear.
Poem of the Past
Copyright 1999 Linda Lane Magallo n
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Dream Sharing with Serbia
A Transcript from the Electric Dreams DreamWheel
[An Online e-mail Dream Sharing Group]
April 16 - May 7, 1999
Richard Wilkerson
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With the collapse of the Roumboullet meetings in France a three
month war between NATO and the Serbian army broke out in
Yugoslavia. Unlike other wars, the cultures in conflict were able
to stay in touch over the Internet and attempt to sift through
the massive propaganda pouring out from both NATO and the Serbian
held Milosevich government.
One such occurrence of this exchange occurred on the Electric
Dreams DreamWheel, which is an international dream sharing group
that had members from both Serbian and NATO nations. The
transcript speaks for itself, but it was clear that participating
members in the group found it increasingly difficult to polarize
the situation in the ways that occur during most conflicts such
as this.
RECORD OF TRANSCRIPTS:
Hi to all,
We are ready to move on the question phase for the next dream,
Branka's "Radioactively Contaminated Uniform."
If you are familiar with the Electric Dreams DreamWheel process,
scroll down to the bottom of the page, read the dream and send
questions to Branka via
dream-on@lists.best.com
If you are new or unfamiliar with the process, please read the
instructions below
ASKING QUESTIONS of the dreamer
In this phase of the process you may ask the dreamer questions
about the dream that may ~clarify~ the image of the dream. Do not
ask questions that call for interpretations.
Example: DREAM: "He turned around and grabbed Bill's jacket away
from me."
Clarifying Questions:
Hi Dreamer, thanks for sharing your dream with us. I was
wondering:
1.Who is "he" that grabbed the jacket - did you know him, what
did he look like?
2.Are you related to Bill or is he a friend?
3.Were you scared when he grabbed the jacket away?
4.What kind of jacket was it? Dark leather, green raincoat...?
Some questions you *DON'T* want to ask:
Why do you think he grabbed your jacket? (though you might ask if
any reasons went through your head ~during~ the dream.)
Did you know that Jackets represent symbols of appearance issues?
Do you often have men grabbing your clothes in dreams?
What does standing behind someone mean to you?
And to the Dreamers-
If and when you reply to the questions, do so only to clarify the
dream.
Try to avoid interpretations at this point. If it is not clear
from the dream how to answer a question, simply say it was not
clear. Usually the dreamer waits until several members' questions
have been mailed to the group to begin answering.
Send question to the dreamer to the whole group at dream-
on@lists.best.com
DREAM:
"Radioactively Contaminated Uniform" by Branka
I have entered the building in wich my father lives. In this
place where elevator is supposed to be, I see this military
uniform on the hanger. In the pocket of a uniform, I see photos
of Nikola Kojo's family. Just as I get them out of the pocket, I
become aware that uniform is radioactivly contaminated. Huge wave
of fear grabs the hold on me. I'm desparate. I am convinced I
will surely die.
FROM: Diana
I have the following questions about this dream.
Is your father alive?
What is your relationship like with your father? Can you say a
few words about what "father" means?
What are your feelings about "the miliitary"?
Who might wear such a uniform?
How come you search the uniform pockets?
Who is Nikola Kojo?
What is radioactivity?
How can you tell something is contaminated?
What is it like to die of radioactivity?
What does it mean to die? What is it like to die?
I have entered the building in wich my father lives.
Can you describe this building? Where is it? What does it look
like?
What time of day is it? How are you moving? What are your
thoughts/sensations as you enter this building?
What is the entrance like?
Where are you after you enter? How big is the room? Can you
describe the light? Where are you standing? Is it a hallway?
Describe the walls. What color are they? Are there any windows?
What about the floor? Are you floating? Are you standing?
In this place where elevator is supposed to be,
Where should the elevator be? How far are you from the elevator?
Is there an open space instead of the elevator door? Can you
please describe this space in more detail? Is it dark? Is it like
a closet?
I see this military uniform on the hanger.
Where is the hanger? Is it resting on a closet pole? Is there
only one hanger? How does the uniform hang? Is it a male uniform?
What rank? What color? Can you describe the appearance? Is it
contemporary? Is it woolen? Is it dress or fatigues? What kind of
uniform? Is it well pressed?
Do you experience any sensations when you see the uniform? What
do you feel?
In the pocket of a uniform, I see photos of Nikola Kojo's family.
Which pocket do you reach into? How do you do it? Do you take the
uniform off the hanger? Is it easy to reach into the pocket?
Do you take the photos all the way out of the pocket? How many
photos are there? How big are they? Are they black and white or
color? Are they clear? In good condition? Glossy?
Describe Nikola Kojo's family. Are the pictures portraits? What
do the people in the photo look like. Pick a member of the family
from one of the photos. Describe this person. How does she/he
look? What would it be like to pose or be photographed? Can you
feel into the body or position of this person in the photograph?
Just as I get them out of the pocket, I become aware that uniform
is radioactivly contaminated.
How do you become aware? Is it a sensation? Where do you feel
that sensation? Does the uniform look or feel different now?
Huge wave of fear grabs the hold on me.
How do you experience the fear? What body sensations? Do you act
or do anything? Are you still holding the photographs? Are you
motionless?
I'm desparate. I am convinced I will surely die.
Are you resigned to your death? Are you desperate for a way to
escape contamination? Do you have a sense of struggle or protest?
What is it like to be desperate? Are you alone?
Thank you for this powerful dream,
Diana
FROM: Branka
Dear Diana,
Thanks for so many questions! I never thought so many questions
can come out from such a short dream! I look forward to answering
them.
Since I have read all of them before starting with answers, it is
clear that some of my answers will inevitably be touching the
situation I am in right now so, in an attempt to clarify things
that will be mentioned in answers, I thought I should let
everyone know the following right from the start.
I live in Belgrade, Yugoslavia, and my country and home town (the
capital) are being bombed by NATO for 25 days now. This dream I
had on 13th day of bombing.
Now, on to answering questions:
Is your father alive? What is your relationship like with your
father? Can you say a few words about what "father" means?
Yes, my father is alive and is 64 years of age. Our relationship
is now quite good, but was not so always. My mother died when I
was 11 years old, and for a long, long time he thought of me as
of an unresponsible kid that he has to take care of, that he is
concerned and responsible for – up until my 26 years of
age, when I happened to achieve something in my life for myself.
Before that we were arguing a lot and often. Now, he respects me
and is even proud of me. I always loved him dearly, but now I
feel he is returning that love to me, while before my 26 years of
age I could not feel his love – just critics, critics,
critics. Father for me means someone that guides you, takes care
of you, and later in life leans on you for support.
What are your feelings about "the military"?
Mixed feelings as of recently. I was always a pacifist, could not
understand anything military. Since this madness with NATO
bombing started, quite a few standpoints and values in me started
changing, thou... I'm even scared with these newly emerged
feelings. To make it simple: NATO military I HATE, and Yugoslav
military forces I fear for, respect, feel gratitude that they are
preventing NATO of raping my country and preventing them to enter
my country grounds. Many of the people I know have been drafted
these days, and I fear for them. I also fear my husband will be
drafted. Those all are my "military" associations.
Who might wear such a uniform?
It's Yugoslavian army uniform.
How come you search the uniform pockets?
This pocket with photos in it is wide open and photos are so
visible. Like they invite me to take them out and look at them.
Who is Nikola Kojo?
Nikola Kojo is Yugoslav famous, famous actor. He's my age. He
played this "military" role in a fabulous, grate movie "Nice
villages burn nicely" – movie is about war in Bosnia. I
like him as an actor.
What is radioactivity?
The most horrible thing on Earth. Gun shoots, bombs you can try
to escape and save yourself from. But radioactivity – no.
If it's present, death is in everything that surrounds you
– in food, in the air, on the ground... you can't escape
it.
How can you tell something is contaminated?
That's the real catch. You can't. There are instruments that can
measure it, but I don't have one. And, anyway, it only measures
it after it's already present, so what's the use? By the time
it's spotted, you have already became a victim of it.
What is it like to die of radioactivity?
I imagine it to be horrible, slow death. Can't escape it. Even
cancer some patients manage to escape and get better from. But
from this one – no escape, no hope.
What does it mean to die?
It means exiting the planet Earth. But I don't believe the soul
dies. Only body.
What is it like to die?
Process of dieing is more important to me then the actual death.
Once you die, everything is over. But it's the way you die that
makes the difference. There is quick death and there is slow,
painful death. This possible death of radioactivity is horrible.
I have entered the building in which my father lives.
Can you describe this building? Where is it? What does it look
like?
The building from my dream is the building in which my father's
apartment is in. This is the apartment I grew up in. I lived
there until I became financially independent, then I moved from
it to live on my own (with 25 years of age). Now, since bombing
started, my husband and I moved to my father's apartment to be
together during this madness. This building is in Novi Beograd.
It's 11 flats tall building, my father's apartment being on a
top, 11th floor. It's ugly, dirty building. But it is dear to me,
since so many childhood and youth memories connects me with it.
What time of day is it? How are you moving? What are your
thoughts/sensations as you enter this building?
It's early evening. I have a feeling that, in a dream, I am
coming back from a shelter because sirens have just announced the
end of NATO attack. That's odd, since in real life I don't go to
shelter, I haven't been in it not once in these 25 days. As I
enter the building, I feel relief, like the danger is gone, since
the attack is over.
What is the entrance like? Where are you after you enter?
My dream does not start on the outside entrance. The first scene
is me already being inside the building hall, knowing I have
entered it from the basement (where the shelter is). So, I was
not outside. I was in the basement, and have been going up to the
ground floor to catch the elevator to take me to the 11th floor.
How big is the room? Can you describe the light? Where are you
standing? Is it a hallway? Are there any windows?
This hall on ground floor is quite narrow. In the middle of this
small place there is this elevator box, and around it there are
stairs going up. Stairs are quite narrow, maybe some 1,5 meters
wide. No windows. Light in a hall is dim. I am standing in front
of the elevator door on the ground floor.
Describe the walls. What color are they? What about the floor?
Are you floating? Are you standing?
Walls haven't been painted for years... They are mixture of
yellow and brown – quite depressing color. Floor is dirty
and old. I just stand there for a moment. Then I somehow conclude
that elevator is out of order, and I start going up the stairs.
After 2 or 3 steps I see this uniform hanging on the side of an
elevator box.
In this place where elevator is supposed to be,
Where should the elevator be?
It should be in this box.
How far are you from the elevator?
I don't know where the elevator is stuck. I don't see the
elevator. Just the box through which it normally operates.
Is there an open space instead of the elevator door? Can you
please describe this space in more detail? Is it dark? Is it like
a closet?
Doors of the box of the elevator exist and they are closed. Space
inside the box is not dark, as a matter of fact some light is
seen from there. That's why I conclude elevator is out of order,
because when elevator is normally being fixed, workers turn on
some lights in the box to see what they are doing (since no
windows in the hall exist). This box for elevator is all made of
thick glass that is, also, very dirty and dim.
I see this military uniform on the hanger.
Where is the hanger? Is it resting on a closet pole? Is there
only one hanger?
I am not sure on what this hanger is hanged... really don't know.
I just see it hanging and I know uniform is on a hanger. It's
just one hanger and one uniform on it.
How does the uniform hang? Is it a male uniform? What rank? What
color? Can you describe the appearance? Is it contemporary? Is it
woolen? Is it dress or fatigues? What kind of uniform? Is it well
pressed?
Wow! I don't know that much about uniforms in real life, you
know!! It's a male uniform, of course, no woman serves the army
here, you know. Rank? I don't know ranks, never knew them, and
don't know if the one from a dream even has one. Color? Well, not
one, but combination of colors – you know: different shades
of green and brown. I really lack the English words (since
English is not my native language) to describe it. I'm sure that
on your news some army official of ours sometimes appear, so
that's how you can see the real appearance of Yugoslav army
uniforms. However, I have the feeling it's an ordinary soldier's
uniform, not some major or general, or something. Just plain,
ordinary soldier. It's not damaged or even dirty or something,
it's in normal state. I don't know about material.
Do you experience any sensations when you see the uniform? What
do you feel?
Well, naturally, at first I am surprised. Why does it hang there?
Who left it? Then, upon seeing the photos in the pocket, I
conclude it's Nikola Kojo's uniform. Somehow, at that moment, I
am aware that he's dead, and that that is the reason the uniform
is left bodiless to hang there. That's the only thing left from
him. I feel sorrow for him being dead.
In the pocket of a uniform, I see photos of Nikola Kojo's family.
Which pocket do you reach into? How do you do it? Do you take the
uniform off the hanger? Is it easy to reach into the pocket?
Photos are in the left down pocket of a uniform jacket. The
pocket is wide open and photos are so visible being in it. I
don't take uniform form the hanger, I just reach my hand to the
pocket and get the photos out. It was not hard to do.
Do you take the photos all the way out of the pocket?
Yes.
How many photos are there?
Some 15 to 20 photos.
How big are they?
Normal, pocket size.
Are they black and white or color? Are they clear? In good
condition? Glossy?
They are color photos, quite clear, in excellent condition.
Describe Nikola Kojo's family. Are the pictures portraits? What
do the people in the photo look like. Pick a member of the family
from one of the photos. Describe this person. How does she/he
look?
I don't know much of Nikola Kojo's family in real life. In a
dream, I don't even see all the photos. I just take them from the
pocket and look the first one. In it I see his parents and
children. (I don't know if in real life he has any). I don't
remember the looks of these people and children. I just remember
seeing his family on a picture and thinking – how sad, his
children are now fatherless. I honestly do not remember any
particular person from the photo. I just remember the feeling
that his family is on a photo.
What would it be like to pose or be photographed? Can you feel
into the body or position of this person in the photograph?
I like being photographed. It's the way to save moments from
forgetting them.
Just as I get them out of the pocket, I become aware that uniform
is radioactively contaminated.
How do you become aware? Is it a sensation? Where do you feel
that sensation? Does the uniform look or feel different now?
I really don't know... It just downed on me. But, as it downs on
me, I tremble all over. Uniform did not look any different
afterwards.
Huge wave of fear grabs the hold on me.
How do you experience the fear? What body sensations? Do you act
or do anything? Are you still holding the photographs? Are you
motionless?
Huge wave of trembling is felt all over my body. I'm paralyzed,
motionless for a moment. Then, I think, I put the photos back to
the pocket. I stand some more in front of the uniform, since I am
completely aware that I can't run from radioactivity, that I'm
already contaminated, and running away from it would not make any
difference.
I'm desperate. I am convinced I will surely die.
Are you resigned to your death? Are you desperate for a way to
escape contamination? Do you have a sense of struggle or protest?
No sense of struggle or protest, no plans to escape contamination
– I am convinced I can't escape it, I can't do anything to
save myself. I am convinced I have already been fatally
contaminated and now time is the only obstacle between that
moment and death. It's as if I run or something, it would not
help at all. Damage has already been done. I'm doomed to die.
What is it like to be desperate? Are you alone?
I am alone in all this. Desperation that I feel is final and
powerful feeling. I am aware that, until the day I die, this
desperation will not leave me...
Diana, thank you for so many useful questions. Before I started
answering them, I was not even aware of so many details and
feelings this short dream had in it. They really helped me get a
wider picture of everything.
Love.
Branka.
From: Bill
branka,
thank you for sharing your dream.
i wanted to get a little clarification on some of the dream
images.
(paraphrasing) you said that Kikola Kojo is a very famous
Yugoslav actor about your age and that his most memorable role to
you and many was in a great movie "nice villages burn nicely", a
film about war in bosnia.
then there are _dream memories_ of him, that are not really about
him, but how he was placed in your dream, with a family.
then you said "how sad, his children are now fatherless. " did
kojo die in the movie, in waking life or just in your dream?
also, what does "kojo" mean if taken literally? some names in
english like white and black and smith all mean other things,
colors, animals, professions. what about kojo? and kikola, is
that similar to nikola?
i am hestitant to ask, but what is the movie plot and theme and
message of "nice villages burn nicely"?
-bill
FROM: BRANKA
Dear Bill,
Thanks for helping me understand this nightmare. Here is the
clarification you asked for:
did kojo die in the movie, in waking life or just in your dream?
Nikola Kojo did die in the movie, and he died in my dream. I did
not see him die in a dream, but I am somehow (don't ask me how, I
really don't know), aware that he is dead. It seems that the very
fact that this uniform stands there bodiless is an indication
that it's "owner" is dead. If the "owner" of the uniform was
alive, it would not hang there. It would be on him, with him. As
I see the uniform in the dream for the first time, I don't know
it's Nikola Kojo's. It is after I get the photos out of the
pocket that I identify the uniform as his and, also, become aware
that it is Nikola Kojo that's dead. In real life, however, as far
as I know, he is still alive... (I mean, maybe he's drafted or
something now, and maybe he got killed, but I really don't know
that...).
also, what does "kojo" mean if taken literally? some names in
English
like white and black and smith all mean other things, colors,
animals,
professions. what about kojo? and kikola, is that similar to
nikola?
His name is Nikola, not Kikola, it must have been my typing
mistake... As far as the meaning of "Kojo" is concerned... no, it
does not mean anything in particular, really, although I am aware
that some names do mean something (my name Branka, for example,
means "the one who defends himself/herself").
I am hesitant to ask, but what is the movie plot and theme and
message of
"nice villages burn nicely"?
Central plot: small unit of some 7 to 8 Serbian soldiers get
stuck in a tunnel that is surrounded with muslim forces that
don't allow them to get out. This lasts for days, even weeks...
they don't have food, water (they were drinking their own urine).
They are aware that, if they surrender, they will die horrible
death (torturing etc), so they are just waiting in the tunnel for
other Serbian forces to help. But they never come. Some of them
kill themselves in desperation, the others get killed upon trying
to individually get out. The remaining few decide to try and
escape. Only two of them manage to survive. (Not Nikola Kojo,
thou). Let me emphasize that this movie script was inspired by
the true story from Bosnia.
Nikola Kojo's role: he was a thief before war. When soldiers came
to his apartment, they wanted to draft his younger brother, but
to save him, Nikola Kojo introduced himself as his younger
brother, and went to war in his place. In the movie, characters
are from different background, different generations. Nikola Kojo
represents my generation, in metaphorical sense, in this movie.
Message of a movie: it is strong movie about war, and has strong
anti-war message in it. But it also ends with the open question
and possibility that new tragedy in Bosnia and Balkan is also
likely to happen again, that this all is not the end... just
temporary peace... And you know what – message has proved
to be correct – now Yugoslavia is being bombed...
Thanks for questions.
Looking forward to see your opinion on possible meaning.
Branka.
FROM:KARL
Branka,
Thank you for sharing your dream with us. Didn' you share a dream
awhile ago that also involved contamination?
Here are my questions:
When you arrive at the building, where are you coming from? How
did you get to this building from wherever it was that you were?
What is a building?
Why are you going to this building? Did you father invite you
over? Is this a regular visit? Are you taking anything to your
father?
Please describe this building. Does your father live in a
building like this?
How do you feel about visiting your father? About this day, in
general?
What is an elevator?
Do you have any idea who put the uniform here?
What is a pocket?
What is a photograph? Where does the photograph appear to have
been taken?
Please describe Nicola Kojo's family.
What feelings does the photograph evoke?
Have you ever worked with or been exposed to radioactive or other
toxic substances?
What does it mean to be contaminated?
If you were still in the dream, what would you do after you
realize you've been contaminated? Where would you go? Would you
be able to treat your contamination?
Thanks, Branka.
Karl
From Branka:
Karl,
Thanks for so many new questions. I am again amazed with how many
different questions such a short dream can elict. No, I did not
have my dream before done on Dream Wheel. I'm new to this kind of
work, and this is my first dream. As a matter of fact, I don't
recall having a contamination dream EVER in my life before this
one, although I record them more or less regularly since 1987.
When you arrive at the building, where are you coming from? How
did you get to this building from wherever it was that you were?
Since I really do consider the circumstances I'm in right now to
be more then relevant to this dream, I'll try to clarify and
further explain it:
In real life: I don't live in this building. But, 13 days before
having this dream, NATO started bombing Belgrade and Yugoslavia,
so I have moved to my father's place, so that we can be together
during this madness (so, this is not a dream, this is what is
really happening).
In a dream: I am aware that NATO is bombing Yugoslavia, that I
have moved to my father's place, just like it is in reality. But
in a dream, I do not see my self coming to the building. I am
entering the ground floor of the building, where elevator door
is, from the basement where the shelter is. In a dream, it is as
if I have been in a shelter during the time that raid-sirenes
were on, and when they have announced the end of danger, I
started going up from the basement, to the ground floor, in
attempt to catch the elevator to go to my father's appartment. If
you happen to wonder from where I got to the basement –
well: from my father's appartment. It's like never ending story:
11th floor – shelter in a basement – 11th floor
– shelter in a basement – 11th...
What is a building?
Building is a lot's of appartments gathered at one organized
place. The larger the building – smaller the appartments.
Why are you going to this building? Did you father invite you
over? Is this a regular visit? Are you taking anything to your
father?
Well, I've just explained that in the first question. It's no
regular visit. It's as irregular as it can be! In a dream, I am
aware that I have temporarly moved back to my father's place, and
that I will be living there as long as these NATO attacks are
present.
Please describe this building. Does your father live in a
building like this?
The building in my dream is the building in which my father lives
in reality, and it looks just like it really looks in reality: 11
floors high building, quite wide, with lot's of entrances... it's
quite ugly, you know. It's old, it's dirty. But I like coming
there, since this is where I grew up and was living before age of
25 (now I'm 31)
How do you feel about visiting your father? About this day, in
general?
I'm not visiting my father in a dream. I am aware in a dream that
I came back to live there for a period of time that bombing
lasts.
What is an elevator?
Device that makes it easier to climbe hights. If there were no
elevators, we'd have to go up the stairs. Since my father's
appartment is on the 11th floor, it's so unconvinient that
elevator in a dream is out of order . I have to exaust myself
with this long climb up to get there. I hate going up the stairs.
Do you have any idea who put the uniform here?
Not really.
What is a pocket?
Practical things. If I have pockets, I don't need to carry purse,
I can just put things in them, and it's much easier to get around
without extra burden of purse. I envy men because most of their
clothing articles have pockets, which is not such common a case
when women clothing articles are concerned.
What is a photograph? Where does the photograph appear to have
been taken?
Photograph serves to keep memory. I like photos . taking them,
having them, being on them. The photograph that I look at in a
dream was taken in Nikola Kojo's home. All that can be seen on a
photo is couple of kids, his wife and his parents. They all sit
on this big, long coutch. Nikola Kojo is not on a photo. In a
dream, I have this impression that photo has been taken after he
has been drafted, and later mailed to them, so that he can have
photo of all of his family with him while he fights the war.
Please describe Nicola Kojo's family.
I don't know anything about his family in real life, but on a
photo in a dream, they look like normal, average family.
What feelings does the photograph evoke?
Sadness, grief.
Have you ever worked with or been exposed to radioactive or other
toxic substances?
I smoke, ok. I smoke a lot. That's not radioactive, but is toxic.
Never worked with toxic substances. But... these days, while
these NATO bombs fall around me, there have been some fear raised
in press that NATO might have used uranium filled bombs. They
also have hitted couple of days ago this chemical industry, and
only God knows how toxic that is. I am not sure if our tv is
telling us the truth about "water and air being regular". I
suspect they don't want to raise panic. So, yes, I have fears
that I might have been contaminated somehow, but this dream I had
before these roumers started and before NATO hit chemical
industry that is just 20 kilometers from the place I am.
What does it mean to be contaminated?
To be radioactivly contaminated means to be doomed to surely die.
No escape from it.
If you were still in the dream, what would you do after you
realize you've been contaminated? Where would you go? Would you
be able to treat your contamination?
To tell you the truth, if this have happened in reality, I think
I would not behave or feel any different then in the dream.
What's the use of trying to escape it or heal it, when it's
unhealable? I would probably want to live my last days best I can
with the people I love. That's what I would do.
Again, thanks for so many questions.
Looking forward to work on your dream in the future.
Love.
Branka.
Branka - thanks for your dream.
I was wandering:
1. How do you feel when the elevator is not working?
2. How do feel when you find the elevator in a different place?
3. Do you have any feeling about where the elevator is going -
i.e. where in your dream your father's place is?
4. What does "uniform" mean to you in general? Does it mean
anything other than a military uniform?
Thank you Branka and may you be safe
kathy
FROM: Branka
Dear Kathy,
Pardon my late responding - wasn't feeling well yesterday. Today
I'm much better.
1. How do you feel when the elevator is not working?
Well, usually (in real life), this qute upsets me. But, in a
dream, I am so upset with this contaminated uniform, that it
seems so stupid to be upset by the elevator being out of order.
2. How do feel when you find the elevator in a different place?
I don't find the elevator in the different place. I just know
that it's stuck somewhere on the upper floors.
3. Do you have any feeling about where the elevator is going -
i.e. where
in your dream your father's place is?
Going to my father's place would make me feel safe.
4. What does "uniform" mean to you in general? Does it mean
anything other than a military uniform?
Uniform is something scary - men in uniform handle weapons, and
weapons are dangerous - it doesn't matter if they are actually in
a war or not - men in uniform usually have weapons and weapons I
fear, I don't like and I don't want to have anything with.
Uniforms can also be non-military, and these do not arise scary
feelings in me. But I don't like non-military uniforms either.
They make everybody look alike, and we are all so far from being
alike, we are unique human beings.
Thank you Kathy.
I'll try to be safe.
FROM:RICHARD
Hi Dreamwheelers,
We are ready to start the comment phase on Branka's 'Uniform'
dream.
If you are familiar with the process, scroll down to the end,
read the dream again and send your comments to dream-
on@lists.best.com
If you are new the process, please read the following:
COMMENT PROCEDURES
In this part of the process, you may comment on the dream. While
you are welcome to make any comments you wish, what we are
teaching in this group is non-defensive style developed by John
Herbert (Montegue Ullman stage II variation) modified for email.
This segment is the one in which each group member takes the
dream as if it were his or her own and shares feelings and
thoughts about the dream and what it might mean in each members
life situation.
Making the dream your own:
1. At the beginning of all comment files or e-mail we generally
write : "If this were my dream..."
This sets up the general subjective attitude and works as a
reminder to the commentor that they are not telling the dreamer
what they think the dream means to the dreamer, but rather what
the dream might mean if we had that dream.
2. To further this point, use 1st person singular, present tense.
"In my dream..."
EXAMPLE: Dream: "I'm looking at my mother walking down a long
hall towards an open window."
I might comment "In MY dream the nurturing mother has found a new
way to escape ME."
In my comment, it is *my mother*, *my hallway* and *my dream*.
This may or may not provide insight to the initial dreamer, but
its surprising how often this non- defensive approach does lead
to new insights for both the dreamer and the commentor.
3. Send the comments in to the whole group. dream-
on@lists.best.com
4. The DREAMER may or may not respond as they wish.
{ DREAM REPEATED HERE }
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++
From Kathy,
Branka - thank you for your dream (and also I find it utterly
wonderful that you would talk to us as your country is being
bombed)
If this were my dream:
I see the dream is speaking to me about the fears I have about
the bombing of Serbia.
I see my fear that my country and all the beautiful young men may
die. I see that I and all other women and children may be left
fatherless and that makes me feel incredibly sad. But more than
that I fear that I will be somehow killed in the most horrible
and painful way in this bombing. I am so terrified I am
immoblised. I feel the incredible effort to get to the safety of
my father's house, but it is too late I am already contaminated.
But I also see the dream is talking about me and my father. I am
coming back to my father's house for comfort but right in my
father's house there is difficulty and danger for me. I am
finding it so hard to reach his level (does he still have such
impossibly high standards or am I just afraid that he will be
like that again?). There is a way to reach his level easily but
it is not functioning - indeed it is stuck somewhere - oh I
wander what this is that has become stuck - is it some way of
reacting to my father? and/or is it some way that my father
reacts to me? He is stuck at some place and can't come down to my
level. It is being repaired so in the future it will be alright
but now it is not and that creates great difficulty for me. Then
I notice the bodiless uniform. The uniform is rules and
discipline and danger and violence and it lacks the warmth of a
body. I am drawn by the memories of my family together and I
reach out for the memories but that makes me realise that that
happy warm father has died and I am left with the harsh aspects
of my father - now I am incredibly sad and that makes me
instantly fall into fear for my life. I am contaminated by that
fear - it will be the death of me. The difficulty and danger are
occurring just at the point at which I think I'm safe - the war
(with my father is over). I wander here if it is a real
difficulty and danger or if it is a very primal fear (coming up
from the basement where it has been hidden). I know I'll have to
go carefully here for either way I need to be careful so that I
do not die. It is not too late. This dream is a warning to be
careful.
I feel also the dream is about relations between aspects of
myself (my internal relations). I feel it is possible that that
aspect of me which has just come out of the basement (the
underground) is both terrified of and loves another aspect which
is dominant: the father aspect. Is this father aspect of me too
high up? Has this father aspect too high expectations of what "I"
(the basement/lowly aspect) should do? Is it very difficult to
reach this father aspect - coming as "I" do from the basement and
still being in the shadows of the dark entrance to his house. I
feel too that this basement aspect of me is mainly my emotional
self and my memories. Perhaps at some time I had to put my
emotions and memories down in order to live: I had to choose the
more rational aspect of myself. I feel this basement aspect longs
for the peace and joy of a happy family within "me". But this
aspect knows that the father aspect is dead now - not dead as in
"finished" but rather dead as in "lacking all warmth" - just a
uniform without a body. Have I let my father aspect rule and
discipline and put in danger more soft aspects of myself? my
memories of good times (for they make me too sad)? That awareness
is the most terifying thing for I know that means I (as a person
with many different aspects) is contaminated and certainly I am
already doomed to die. Nothing is more terrifying.
It seems to me this dream is shouting at me to learn to allow
different aspects of myself to live in harmony. Can I? In part
that will depend upon how I handle my fear: it is alright to feel
fear but it is better not to let it immobilize me. It is alright
too to remember a time when every thing felt good but it is also
right to recognize that may no longer be the case. Perhaps the
difference between memory and the present situation is too
painful and creates too much sadness - but it is really not too
much sadness for I will be able to bear it - and I do need those
memories and those feelings.
I am being asked to be brave at every level of my relations: with
my historic situation, with my father and with my internal
aspects.
Kathy
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dear Kathy,
So many parts of your comments elicited insights in me, and I
think you really helped me get the picture of the main insight
this dream carries for me. I'll comment some of it:
I see the dream is speaking to me about the fears I have about
the bombing of Serbia.
I see my fear that my country and all the beautiful young men may
die. I see that I and all other women and children may be left
fatherless and that makes me feel incredibly sad.
Yes, Kathy, that's quite real fear. Let me just state that, since
bombing started, I had trouble feeling fear , all other emotions
seemed to overwhelm me in different moments, and were changing
histericaly quick: anger, depression, desparation, sadness... but
fear – no. I guess that this dream provided an outlet for
this basic emotion I have forbiden myself to feel. And the worse
of all these fears you mentioned is my fear that my husband will
be drafted and... I don't even want to write it. So, since I have
been obviously repressing my fear and denying it in waking state,
I guess dream had to turn my attention to such an important
emotion that needed to be recognized.
But more than that I fear that I will be somehow killed in the
most horrible and painful way in this bombing. I am so terrified
I am immoblised. I feel the incredible effort to get to the
safety of my father's house, but it is too late I am already
contaminated.
BINGO! This is the major insight of the whole dream, as I see it
now. I am so afraid I will turn into someone else, that good in
me will be killed... I was a pacifist, a humanist, people and
planet lover... but since this started, horrible emotions
surfaced from some deep parts of myself, emotions that I did not
even though I am capable of feeling , haterith... anger...
killing instinct... At one moment I felt capable of killing a
NATO soldier with my bare hands, just if he somehow happens to
drop from the skies above, from wich he is bombing me! I am
afraid that my old self, my comfortable self, my loving and
lovable self will be killed with this experience and that I will
turn into a monster that hates, wants revange, wants to kill... I
AM CONTAMINATED with these feelings... can't escape them... You
said it all in just few sentences: "It seems to me this dream is
shouting at me to learn to allow different aspects of myself to
live in harmony. Can I? In part that will depend upon how I
handle my fear: it is alright to feel fear but it is better not
to let it immobilize me. It is alright too to remember a time
when every thing felt good but it is also right to recognise that
that may no
longer be the case." This is the core of the dream,
as I see it.
I feel also the dream is about relations between aspects of
myself (my internal relations). I feel it is possible that that
aspect of me which has just come out of the basement (the
underground) is both terrified of and loves another aspect which
is dominant: the father aspect. Is this father aspect of me too
high up? Has this father aspect too high expectations of what "I"
(the basement/lowly aspect) should do? Is it very difficult to
reach this father aspect - coming as "I" do from the basement and
still being in the shadows of the dark entrance to his house.
The father aspect.... my father was a child after II World War
and is full of stories how hungry he was for full 2 years
afterwards, and how hard it was back then, and how spoiled I am,
and how I don't know what it means to be hungry.... he has
already gone through all this! My trying to get to his appartment
in a dream I understand as my ambition to learn his survival ways
because, if this lasts (and it is lasting), I will also be
hungry... But the problem is, I can't accept such a thought! I
can't "raise to his level" of accepting things as they are. I am
paralized with the thought of war. Living this way would be worse
then dying. So, after being "contaminated" with this uniform
(war/death/danger experience) I don't see the point of going "up
to his level". My life so far is dead. My self so far is dead. I
see no future. I see no point at "raising to his level", of
learning to survive in new conditions. Anyways, elevator doesn't
work (quick way to raise), but I have to go up stairs (tiering,
lasting experience of learning to accomodate to new
circumstances). As so many times in my life, I guess that in this
situation too I am trying to find the easiest way out, but this
time... no such way... This is going to force me to accept
circumstances as they are. Can't run from them. Can't change
them. The only thing I can do is accept I am "contaminated" with
them and have to bare them the hardest possible way... if I am to
survive.
Thank you Kathy for finding time to help me understand this
nightmare and help me accept my fears.
Branka.
FROM BILL:
hi branka,
thanks for sharing your dream.
in my dream, i have entered the place where my father lives. this
means to me i have entered into his values, his world, his
viewpoint, his imagination. is this my real father's house or my
inner father's house? probably both. it is interesting to me that
it is a building, a kind of place where lots of people live, like
it could be a symbol of my father and his whole society.
now, in the place that is suppose to take me up to his level, i
find something else. was his culture and society suppose to
"father" me, but now i have to rely on another way to be
fathered. which greek said "war is the father of us all"
that is, there is an impact in life beyond the nurturance of the
mother that we often call father. in a peaceful time, it is the
real family father that challenges us, that extends our
boundaries and makes us relate to something besides the breast.
for good or bad it creates a wedge beween the tit and the baby
and redirects me. more positively, he picks me up where i am and
shows me where i am going.
the new hero emerges and i see what he wears. in his pockets, he
carries pictures of his family. i am in the process here now of
being intitiated, i am leaving my family and entering a new
family. he is a hero and the man to replace the man. a perfect
mate. and there is a little consciousness here, a photo, a
reflection.
but wait, the uniform is contaminated.
what the heck does that mean? contamination for me is being
strongly effected by unseen forces. this is part of initiation as
well. in some primitive societies, the person has to go all the
way and experience their own death to be reborn in a new
configuration, into adulthood. this contamination also means that
the purity has been compromised. the psychologists talk about
contamination by the unconscious. the game, whatever it is, is
highly charged with unconscious factors. danger. watch out. what
i think i know is not the way it is, and i am surrounded by
untruth. which is always the way of war. things get black and
white and truth suffers along with everything else.
the empty uniform concerns me as well. its expected, many boys
die and there are many uniforms left empty. in a way this closet
is full of my expectations that have been dashed. kojo was on his
way to being a universal hero, and now this path is empty, to put
on these clothes would contaminate the person wearing them with a
ton of unconsciousness.
initiation or lost cause? this too is the question of war. do we
take up arms, shout with our fellow comrades and blindly charge
the enemy, or give in, allow all we have created to be dust in
the wind?
so it goes with initiation. we are gripped by a feeling that we
are going to die. it seems the only solution is to give in to the
ugly thing or become the ugly thing, but either way we will die.
as i recall, that is the turning point of the intitiation
ceremonies. one must be totally convinced they are going to die
before they can transcend the fear of death. and only when that
moment occurs can i burn deeply enough to transform the fear, to
see in the contaminated radioactivity the sparkeling stars of the
infinite and step into my role as perfectly imperfect mortal
being.
notes: thanks branka for this dream. i found it very hard to stay
in my own dream and kept jumping out, trying to give advice. you
know, the war, the war. once i realized i was doing this my own
work proceeded much better. thank you for that unique
opportunity.
bill
FROM: Branka
Hi Bill,
And thanks for comments. In my reply to Kathy, I already
addressed major issue I think this dream is about, and you
mention it too, but use different words. You say: "the uniform is
contaminated. what the heck does that mean? contamination for me
is being strongly effected by unseen forces. this is part of
initiation as well." That is exactly what I experience – as
if I can't do anything to affect the effect of these unseen
forces (this can even be taken literally, since I can't see
planes and pilotes that drop bombs, just the effect of these
bombs once they ruin something on the ground or kill someone).
in some primitive societies, the person has to go all the way and
experience their own death to be reborn in a new configuration,
into adulthood.
This initiation you are talking about I feel as birth of my new
self, the one that's not so naive anymore, that's being burdened
with this new experience that is quite bad and will surely affect
the birth of new me. After this, I'm sure I'm gonna be more adult
then I ever thought I'll be. I'm even affraid of completely
killing, or forgeting the child in me. It's good to be aware of
possible concequences, so that I can keep the child while
adjusting to new, serious me that is in creation these days.
Again, thanks for comments.
Branka.
Hi Branka ! I LOVED your dream, I have never seen in any of mine
such a concise formulation of the deepest givens of our
existense: death, freedom, isolation and meaning of it all...
if this were my dream ...
i understand that it is about my death anxiety, nothing pleasant
, terrifying emotion. In order to understand dream's details and
meanings I had first to neutralize "the huge wave of fear" . For
that I employed Satisfy the Image approach. I drew the dream
scene. Then I satisfied the image by inserting into the picture
the solution of the conflict : the huge shield of lead all around
the uniform and garbage workers , that are about to bury the
thing somewhere safe. Felt better .The next morning I realized
that I was repressing the fear (burying it) instead of dealing
with it constructively and came up with even better solution : I
drew a fancy lead container around the uniform with a little
window, that you can open-close at will, and donated it to the
doctors, so they can use the thing as a uniform source of strong
radioactive ray to destroy cancer cells on purpose. I calmed down
completely, it became clear to me that I can either repress my
death anxiety or I can use it to heal myself towards better
fuller life, once I direct it, use it to remind myself to live
here-and-now each time cancerous destructive ideas and thoughts
start to invade my mind ( I had my share of "what if" thinking -
"what if I lost my husband and was left penniless..." "what if I
never learned to be a perfectly good mother to my son Felipe"...
etc)
After that I immediately was able to project abundantly and see
some puns in the dream: visual pun ( I am in the BASEment, my
father and GrandMa live on the top floor. I want to ascend fast -
to his top level - he is an accompished specialist, and I need
Grand (Big) Mothering , and this desire is BASEd on the fear of
death and avoidance of gray and dirty aspects of life) I thought
I was not hiding from it, but according to my dream - I was
hiding from the (idea of )death, and now I am out , and feel it
fully. Radioactive uniform I suddenly saw as me being Radio
Active and Uniform, my messages to many people on internet are
like messages of the Active Radio host, who sends one and the
same (Uniform) message, defending one and the same (MY) point of
view, to groups of friends-listeners, and that has killed an
Artist (Nikola) in me, killed my individuality, practically
removed me from my family (hours of Radio Activity left no time
for them), and I realize - is killing me personally - I have to
stop being so Radio Active and Uniform, and shut up for a while
and let Me be.
The strongest insight of all came from the image of missing/stuck
somewhere elevator. I always knew and acknowledged that I have
married up, my husband being richer in every sense than myself -
emotionally, intellectually , socially and moneywise. Being his
wife lifted me into the safety and security of my childhood home,
I felt protected, my basic needs were met, I didn't have to
struggle on the stairs of life , why, my husband was my elevator.
Yes . Till a year ago, when he lost everything, was stuck and
unavailable in every sense of the word , was of no help to me ,
and I WAS left penniless , facing the prospect of my private
individual ascension , back to the very basic things in life.
Needless to say I was angry, I saw that I was no longer special,
I was alone, facing my own choices in life - to get out or to
stay in but ascend on my own, or maybe to attempt to repair the
elevator, but the worst of all, I realized that with Artist dead
in me I was dead as well, I had to revive my creativity somehow.
In this dream I began from the position of extreme need, and
searched for someone to minister to this need. My need was for
"elevation", and I was searching for a partner who would be
elevator : teacher, therapist, and purveyor of social life. The
word "search" provided a key understanding of my problem. One
after all doesn't FIND a relationship ; one FORMS a relationship
. I was approaching my husband in an inorganic rather than
organic fashion. Not only did I view him as an "it" , an object ,
an equipment to provide a particular product or service, but I
view the relationship as static and inorganic - an entity that
was there almost fully formed from the beginning - rather than as
a developing process.
fascinating
Liudmila
Branka was offline for several days........................
FROM: KARL
Branka,
If this were my dream, I would see that I've left a sheltered
space within a structure of thoughts and beliefs that I associate
with my childhood. I'm trying to ascend, to get a higher
perspective, to reunite with the fatherly part of me. But the
easy way up is not working, and in its place I see a violent,
dead, male identity. I try to retrieve some memories of a happier
time and place, but when I do, I feel that I have been
contaminated by violence, and I feel I am now going to undergo a
long, slow, painful, radical change.
Thank you for sharing your dream, Branka. I think it sums up the
confusion and conflicting feelings a lot of people have about war
in general and this war in particular. I hope you're safe.
Karl
Dear Karl,
That sums it up so nicely. All of it.
Thank you.
Branka.
FROM: DIANA
Dear Branka,
I have been thinking of "The Uniform" for several weeks now.
When I first read this dream, I thought of a dream of my own
which I dreamt several months ago. The ending of my own dream
also focused on "being killed by radiation." My dream was a dream
of a group music lesson. The lesson took place at Omega--a
beautiful summer resort in upstate New York. The "classroom" was
a free standing, circular building with lots of windows. I looked
out of one of the windows and saw a nuclear explosion--and then a
wave of black smoke carrying radioactive contamination that would
soon overwhelm us. I remember feeling terrified and thinking
about how to hide, how to run away, whether I could take extra
anti-oxidants. It seemed nothing would work. I remember feeling
dread, and feeling terrified, and then feeling submission. I
consciously decided to surrender and accept my fate--to "give in"
to radioactivity since I couldn't resist it. At the back of my
mind was the hope that by not struggling, I would preserve my
breath and maybe by "hibernating" I might somehow survive if that
were God's will. The dream I shared earlier on this forum about
the disturbing "blur" on the blackboard seemed to me a
transformation of the earlier dream. The nuclear explosion has
now been transformed into a glaring light which is disturbing but
less destructive.
I recently read a paper in Psychoanalytic Dialogs (v9, 1999,
p142) which gave a definition of trauma that reminded me of this
dread. The article stated that helplessness was the most salient
quality. "This sense of helpless inevitability without
reflection...a sense of "nameless dread," and... "fear without
thought." The "nameless dread" was especially apt in
characterizing a state in which one felt surrounded by
oppression, unable to break free or fight back. The image of
Yugolavian soldiers imprisoned in a tunnel surrounded by the
enemy also captured this state for me. I felt that in order to
transform this state, I must somehow appreciate it. It is very
tiring and difficult.
I keep thinking about "enduring" or how to bear the trauma which
can't be endured. Another image I often see in thinking of this
dream is the image of the uniform. Several days ago the New York
Times ran a picture of a hocky star who was retiring. After his
last game they snapped his picture, standing alone in the center
of the empty dark sports arena lit by a spotlight from above.
Just a single man--at the point of retirement. It seemed so
lonely and yet so impressive. The uniform strikes me the same way
as I see it in my mind. The light shows the uniform clearly--but
it is surrounded by darkness. I yearn to reach out (for the
photos?) to make more contact or to see it with more connections.
I also think of how to reach out--how to be responsible for more
people than just myself. And I feel bad for the bombing and don't
know how to stop it. Branka, I remember you as having very
helpful comments to me in my dream. I am very grateful to you and
wish you well,
Diana
Branka was offline for several days............
Dear Diana,
Sorry for my late responding to your comments - I've been without
electricity for days, and off line also.
Yes, feelings of "not being able to fight back" and "loneliness"
are all over me, and dream clearly shows it. No wonder my mind
choose radioactive contamination for expression of those
feelings!
I'm stuck. No escape from this situation, and you saw it.
Thinking about a dream now, makes it easy for me to understand it
fully.
I just wish that my radioactive contamination will soon express
itself as less threathening blur or something...
Thank you for your comments and the examples you gave.
Branka.
Dear Branka,
I am grateful for your dream and your responses. I also apologize
for not responding quickly. I have had a very bad cold, and I
have been too tired to use the computer. I feel a connection
between us in this dreamwork. I, too, hope for a transformation.
I pray for your safety and the future of our countries. Yours,
Diana
END TRANSCRIPT
From Branka:
Soon after finding "dream world" on the net, in the midst of my enthusiastic expectations of
international dream sharing, being able to reach to every corner of the world in the matter of
minutes, overnight my life was turned into waking nightmare... Raid-sirens, shelters, bombs... the
end of the world... my world as I know it. Everything stopped. Life was put on hold and
immediate survival issues surfaced with such intensity that they blurred meaning of everything
previously experienced.
Hysterically shifting from depression to anger, from anger to desperation, from desperation to
fear, from fear to sadness, and from there to every other possible emotion, I felt totally unable to
concentrate on anything but watching the news. On 23rd day of bombing came my turn to share a
dream on Dream Wheel. I wasn't sure if I can do it, but kind Mr. Richard Wilkerson was so
patiently persuasive, unjudgementaly supportive, intuitively feeling my need to connect and share
my inner turmoil, that I decided to give it a try. For this I want to sincerely thank him, because he
helped me more then he probably is even aware... In the middle of what I was experiencing as
whole wide world communicating with me via "language of bombs", he reached and suggested
connecting with the whole wide world using universal "language of dreams". To be honest, after
everything that Serbs were called to be in Western media, I feared to open myself to vulnerability
dream work brings with it, especially in front of the group members that come from the countries
in which these news are broadcasted. I was vulnerable, I was untrustful, even paranoic at times...
Richard was by my side every step of the way, encouraging me, supporting me, guiding me...
caring. Thank you Richard.
And then, process started... questions began to come in. Crazy chaos my mind was floating in,
surrounded with such intensified, intensified, intensified emotions, began to finally take structure
and meaning. Just answering the questions triggered so needed order of my inner world to start
forming. Feelings were not floating and simply self-existent anymore I managed to face them,
identify them and come to peace with them. When comments started pouring in, I was already in
touch with my inner world again and felt much better. Confusion that I simply surrendered myself
to prior the dream work was gone. It is probably not something that everybody would experience,
but in the circumstances I was in, I want to say that participation in dream work had extremely
positive influence on me. It helped me structure stirred emotions, many of which were so new to
me, so horribly repulsive to me, that I was angry at myself for being able to even feel them!
Dream Wheel members were so supportive and caring that I feel a great need to thank them too.
After genuine support, care and interest they showed in helping me understand my dream, I felt
bad that I ever thought that it can be any other way.
Thinking about "the uniform dream" now, when bombing is little more then a month behind me,
what strikes me is loneliness... I was so alone in the dream nobody beside me to share or try to
influence the horror I am encountering. Guess I was feeling pretty cut off from other beings in my
life at that time, being totally focused on my inner happenings, on myself, experiencing the
CONTAMINATION of my being. Having that in mind, it's even more important that I was given
the chance to connect with others that helped me connect with myself.
Next dream I had was also a nightmare in which I was sentenced to death, but in it I had quite a
number of people surrounding me and supporting me in my attempt to cancel that sentence I
was not alone anymore! It might be interesting that, during 78 days of bombing (and that many
night too) I managed to remember only 3 dreams "uniform dream", "death sentence dream"
(both being nightmares) and third dream in which the central theme is: Serbia won war with
NATO (I did not analyze that one, but it has proved NOT to be precognitive!) I guess that this
low recall rate is due to the fact that I did not get much sleep, at least quality sleep, since either
detonations or raid-sirens constantly kept waking me up.
At the end, I want to again thank everybody for insightful comments that helped me in most
difficult times of my life. I hope dream language will keep spreading itself among the people of
this planet one, universal language, understandable by all.
Regards to everyone from confusing, crazy Balkans that keeps dividing itself while whole wide
world keeps uniting... hope we'll learn universal language soon.
Sincerely, Branka.
**If you would like more information or to join an Electric
Dreams Dreamwheel, stop by Electric Dreams
http://www.dreamgate.com/electric-dreams
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Dream Analysis by Dream Counsel
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Dreams are a window into the psyche. Through their interpretation, the future is foretold.
Whatever questions a person may have or situation they are unsure of, can be easily resolved by
their own unconscious thoughts and ideas. Dream analysis will help unlock those answers.
Dream Counsel was started by two sisters who have been interpreting the dreams of friends and
family for many years as well as delving into other areas of counseling ranging from the practice
of Psychology to reading tarot cards.
Milla, one of the sisters and head counselors states her personal mission, "I've always felt a need
to understand the inner working of my mind, and so I went into Psychology. I wanted to learn
how to access the parts of my mind responsible for my sense perception and my higher brain
functions, the Sixth Sense. Déjà vu for example. Déjà vu is the mind perceiving the future but
done through recall. So, I figured that if my subconscious was able to recall a future event then
the ability to realize the future is in me. That is when I turned to a study of dreams."
Dream images and associations are instrumental in personal problem solving. The meanings of
dream symbols and themes can be common or complex; will cross cultural, social and
interpersonal boundaries and have distinctly different interpretations for each dreamer. Every
person is responsible for their own growth, progression, and health and the solutions are inside
your mind.
"For me, dreams are a way for my unconscious mind to have free reign to help me through
whatever life has in store for me. If I have a problem, I think about it before going to sleep and
90% of the time I awake with a possible solution. At times when my mind is not toiling over a
problem, my dreams provide me with ideas that hadn't occurred to me in waking thought. I am
extremely self aware and hope that my work here will help others to also reach a comforting level
of awareness." Says Nina, head counselor and co-founder of Dream Counsel.
Dreams can light the way to the best possible future and our Dream Counselors will be the guides.
Website: www.DreamCounsel.com.
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Research Request
Computer's in Dreams : Pre and Post Internet Perceptions.
Part I Pre-Net Dreams
- Richard Wilkerson
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Upon examining a variety of computer dreams at the DreamBank, one gets the distinct impression
that Calvin Hall's famous statement about dreams reflecting our concerns in life is very apt. What
I would like to know, is this relationship changing with the advent of the Internet? I haven't
collected enough dreams yet to address this question fully, and so I would like to request dreams
you have about computers after you went online. I will also accept dreams about computers
before you went online as well. Just clearly mark them as PRE-NET or POST-NET.
Here are some theme summaries of PRE-NET computer dreams:
Projects that never seem to end, not having the right software, graph programs, asking neighbors
for the right program, picking out fabric dress patterns, finding the right pictures of friends, being
n a computer game, trying to run the computer on old batteries, feeling unable to master a
computer at a job at the hospital, writing letters on computers, computers allowing us to do things
with greater ease, people with computers able to do things easier, programs as a thing to discuss
with other and talk about, trouble with computers, programs helping save the computer, fear of
losing information, not finding the program on the computer wanted.. programs that work on old
and new operating systems, typing on the keyboard, getting data into a computer, huge tasks of
getting data into the computer. People engaged by computers, giving attention to computers.
Computer noises warning of danger, human in the computer giving advice. Computer-aided
sensing - take me to the store. [see below for actual dreams]
But besides the "reflection" perspective, there is also a "dreamwork" perspective. That is, what
are these dreams saying about our souls? What are they saying about themselves? What is trying
to happen? What is the most profound interpretation we can give to them or receive from them?
At this level, I am interested in deepening my work with the dream-as-symbol. This includes the
simple sign, what dream computer images point to, as well as more complex Jungian symbol
work, were the computer functioning as a novel image holding the tension of two know areas
apart long enough for the transcendent image to appear and take me into the unknown, and even
wholeness.
Within this perspective is the larger cultural question of what dreams are representing for us, and
our relationship to those representations. That is, what is being played out in dramas involving
computers individually that speaks to the culture as a whole?
The Social Connection
It is clear that computers represent a medium of communication, even before the advent of the
Internet. They are our contemporary typewriter and paper for letters and other kinds of
correspondence. They are the medium of articles, dissertations, essays and books. What does it
mean to shift our communication patterns to the screen? What effect does this have on the other
in dreams? If dream mouth is a computer, what kind of nightmares does it scream?
Axis of Thought.
Here the interfaces are important. What is the difference between writing by long hand and typing,
between typing on a typewriter and a keyboard, between not being able to erase very easily and
being able move whole paragraphs and pages. As Alan Sondheim has noted, re-writing has
become the way we write and thus transfers the axis of creative thought from being in the "head"
to being on the "screen". We used to talk about the dream screen as an axis itself. Now that the
dream screen and the computer screen begin to interface with one another, will our dreams
become less analogue and more digital, or will our computer become less digital and more
analog?
Competency
Being able to use the computer has become important. What does this mean in a dream, to be able
to use a computer or not? What kind of vessel is the dream computer in holding my fantasies
about not being competent? Who is my inner computer technician that I can call on to help me?
What alternative realities are offered by the inner computer ~not~ working.
Technology
It has been part of the dreamwork lore that mechanical things often give dreamers problems. How
do computers figure in with other technologies? Are they more or less problematic? When they
are a problem, will we handle them in the same way as other appliances and vehicles that don't
work?
Society
What is becoming of our society as we interact with one another more and more via computer
mediated devices? I will take this up in more detail in the POST-NET articles in the future, but I
do want to make some comments here about media and dreams. Media theorists for sometime
have noticed the tremendous effect of media on culture. Before the advent of the personal
computer, some had felt that the one-way communications of TV and Radio had completely
destroyed our culture and replaced it with a simulated Leave-it-to-Beaver reality which served to
keep us from the panicked realization that there was no culture left. These theories of simulation
can allow us to encounter a part of our soul in dreams that struggles with this. Do dreams
represent a more real real than real, or are they simulations of personal desire that cannot find
expression in the social field? Once we realize we are dreaming, what then becomes important?
For some its simply to wake up, for others, lucidity and the new possibilities this state brings.
What will lucid dreamers do with computers in dreams? And what is media in our dreams
anyway? Is is more profound to interpret dream media as the voices of the collective unconscious,
or as run-away programs left over from the evening news that have inhabited and are trying to get
your attention? What is a dream commercial anyway, does is serve the soul, the spirit or some
other institution?
Here (below) are the actual dreams I found at DreamBank. You can find more information on
how to use DreamBank at the end.
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Dream series: Bay Area girls
Query: computer
Search mode: find all terms (AND)
Case-sensitive: no
#219-10 (5th grader, 01/27/97)
I was at my friend's house and we were working on some sort of difficult long-lasting project
which
we never seemed to finish. Her computer didn't have the right software for the graph program that
we needed, so we were asking all of the families on the block if they had it. When we got it, we
wanted to put smiley faces on top of our graphs!
Setting: At my friend's house, but it was slightly deformed.
Characters: My friend, her mom and dad, me, her little brother, her friends and their parents.
Feelings and Thoughts: Happy. My friend and I finished our project awhile ago, and we didn't
use smiley-faces, and we always had the right software.
(118 words)
#220-01 (5th grader, 01/20/97)
I was at a sewing class and you picked out your design on the computer. The lady that was
teaching us how to sew took me outside. We started running around the town. It was getting dark
and I got scared that I would never see my parents again. But the lady brought me back to a room
that my family was in.
Setting: It took place at a sewing class outside.
Characters: There were people in my dream (sewing teacher, family). I knew almost all of
them.
Feelings and Thoughts: Happy, scared. At first I was happy, but then I got scared.
(103 words)
#293-04 (5th grader, 02/19/97)
I was at the Santa Cruz Beach and Boardwalk. My mom and dad were with me. We went to the
Log Ride. We got in line and put our backpack and jackets by the water. Oh, no! Our log and
some
of the others started going down a different river! Then we had to get out of the log and take our
flippers off. Then we got back in line. Three teenagers came. Two of them were teasing the other
one. They were saying things like, "You can't go on this ride, you have to be over 14." Then she
would say, "Look at all these younger kids." She had a shirt from a jewelry store that's in Town &
Country Village. When the line moved up we passed a black boy and two black women. The boy
looked at these two computers and then he left. We moved up in line again.
Setting: Santa Cruz Beach and Boardwalk, on the Log Ride.
Characters: Mom & Dad, three teenagers (one looked familiar), two black women (unknown),
and a black boy (sort of familiar).
Feelings and Thoughts: Worried. When we went down the other river, I was really worried.
(198 words)
#601-01 (9th grader, 01/26/97)
I was talking to Katie on the phone and suddenly realized that I had pictures of both Glenn and
Chloe. She was excited and wanted to come over.
Setting: I was at home in the computer room.
Characters: Katie, my best friend from the middle school. She's never met Chloe, my other
best friend, or Glenn, the guy I've had a bad crush on for 3 months.
Feelings and Thoughts: Happy, love. Last night Chloe called me to tell me that Glenn was
planning to ask me out!
(88 words)
#606-04 (9th grader, 01/26/97)
The first part of the dream I was with a bunch of friends and we felt like doing something stupid
and
rebellious, but we figured we'd better have my other friend Sally along. Since nobody else knew
the
way to her house, I drove. Eventually we just sat around talking, eating cookies, and making
scrap-books in the middle of the night, up in Sally's loft. I had some mini-dream about being in a
computer game. Me and my family and family friends went to this Club Med, and they were all a
part of the Club Med circus team, and they wanted me to do the trapeze. I'm an acrophobic, so
they couldn't get me to do it. Right at the end of my dreams, Whitney Houston sang "I will always
love you."
Setting: In a car along some fairly busy road; Sally's house/loft; in some sort of computer
game; at a Club Med with a 50-foot flying trapeze.
Characters: A bunch of friends, though I distinctly remember Jon, Sally and Brian; nobody in
the computer dream; my brother and mom I don't quite remember, but my dad and his
friend Joel, and his two daughters were definitely there, and the trapeze guy, and Whitney
Houston.
Feelings and Thoughts: Happy, scared, terrified. I know the trapeze thing must have come
from when I asked my dad last night what "fear of heights" was and he said acrophobia. I
think my brother was playing computer games like that. And I was listening to the radio last
night so Whitney Houston probably came from there.
Dream series: Teenagers, West Coast, ages 11-18
Query: computer
Search mode: find all terms (AND)
Case-sensitive: no
#83 (18/female)
I was being chased by two people. It was a man and a woman. They chased me into a house
where
a stranger was sitting at a desk trying to make a computer run on old batteries. I went to find
some and when I walked out of that room, I saw a man, stranger stealing my T set. He had
somehow turned off the alarm and was burglarizing our house. I yelled something at him. He
turned
and I woke up. When I woke up I was sweating. (89 words)
Dream series: Blind dreamers
Query: computer
Search mode: find all terms (AND)
Case-sensitive: no
Abbreviated dreams Full dreams
(Click here to jump to the bottom of the list)
#103-07
The next dream concerned the computer program at [a VA hospital] and I sat in front of a
computer, totally mystified and thinking I'll never be able to master this. (27 words)
#104-01 (5/18/97)
Dreamed I was in my computer room in the basement, trying to write a letter, to my friend H,
trying to decide whether to put it in Braille or on tape. Then was sitting in front of the window,
opening the curtains to feel how warm the sun was then turned back to the computer and could
hear opera music from a radio station coming through the computer speaker. (69 words)
#104-08 (5/26/97)
We were on vacation with my cousin G, I haven't seen him in years, we went mountain climbing
and went up a very rigorous climb that was almost too much for me. We made it to the top, to a
little precarious ledge, we were sitting on this thing and all I had to hold onto was a plastic pole,
stuck down into this soft, earthy ground, and one little place to put one foot to keep me from
falling back down the mountain. I was sitting there thinking how difficult it was and I was scared
up there and then my wife was beside me and she said that my twin brother T was down at the
bottom, in tears, he was lying down, he just couldn't make it and he was upset and it was just too
much for him, and my cousin came up, just walked right up and was having a good time and was
talking to us and we told him, we admitted it was just too much for us and he apologized and said
he was really sorry and that he just hadn't realized. Then, I remember I had a big 2 liter pop bottle
and I was telling my wife some sort of story, explaining to her how much the bottle cost... "it was
$1.29" or something like that and here's what happened to it I just threw it off the mountain and it
went crashing down to the bottom somewhere. Then we talked for a while. Then there was
someone else there, I don't know who it was, but when we were talking about how difficult it was
he said, "well I believe in giving it the old Marine try, that means you ask God for help 101 times
and usually that works." I was thinking about that. Then we decided to go back down and in
going back down, I found that there was a paved way that we could make it, very easily, it was
just like a steep slope going down, like a sidewalk. So we went back down, and we were in a
house and my cousin was still there and I found this old knife that I wanted to have sharpened.
And the blade was split at the tip so it had 2 points, like a fork almost, it was split right in the
middle and my cousin showed me, he said "come right on down this other little slope to this
ledge", this was still in the house though. He had somehow used the computer to create a
vibration so that when I took this knife and held it against the flat surface of the cement, it was
vibrating like crazy, and I was able to sharpen the blade by holding it for quite a long while, like 5
minutes on each side, flipping it over, feeling the edge to make sure it was getting sharp and then
E, my wife, was lying down right next to us on the couch, trying to sleep and she began to
complain about the noise it was making and how it would wake up the neighbors and she said
"you know how these people around here swear!" And I said "I don't care, its not making that
much noise and they were going to have to put up with it or I might just have to stab somebody!
Once I had this thing sharpened" And we all had a good laugh at that. I remember thinking that
I've got to get my cousin to explain to me how he did that, how he was able top do that with the
computers, setting up that field that would make this knife vibrate. (622 words)
#104-22 (5/12/97)
I tried to check the time on my talking clock (and, by the way I have had this dream numerous
times over the past few years) but the clock malfunctioned, either the battery was going dead or
something, and when I pressed the button for the time it started to say a bunch of things about the
computer keyboard, and it was just not acting the way it should at all. I knew there was
something wrong with it and I was afraid I had slept in and missed my wake-up time for work.
(94 words)
#104-31
I was in a class, possibly for computer programming. There seemed to be many familiar people in
the class with me and the instructor was very friendly and it seemed as if I was sitting in the front
of the room and he was sitting in the back, and he came up to me and said "I was going to buy
you an "Opticon" but the administration wouldn't let me, they cost $6000 but I brought you a
Braille writer and I bought you all this other stuff and I just wondered if you were familiar with it
because you are going to need them in this class." I remember thinking "I'm glad he didn't buy an
Opticon because I don't remember how to use one. So I began to unpack the box he gave me, and
there did appear to be an Opticon and had a little hand held camera with it. A little box that had
something similar to a little Braille display, maybe a one line Braille display, maybe an Opticon. I
started taking out this thing and all the accessories that came with it and I was amazed at the
different plugs and cords and there were adapters like standard serial port adapters for computers,
there were some that were offset between the male and female end of it. There were some wires
with like plastic keys hanging off of them. My co-worker, M happened to be there then and she
said "Oh, this is interesting, you could probably stick this in a car's ignition to start it if you
happened to lose your key." We had a laugh about that. I just kept looking at these different
pieces. There was one piece that I fitted onto the back of the machine with a little flange, it was
some sort of little plug. Throughout the dream everything seemed pretty familiar to me and I
seemed to know what everything was for. Then M said she had to go and do an interview and I
said "where's everybody else?" and she said "I have no idea, they all left at 8:00 and they just left
at 8:00 and I'm left with the work to do." [An Opticon is a device which converts printed material
into tactile images that actually feel like the printed letters. It has largely gone out of vogue for the
last 15 or 20 years.] (368 words)
#104-33 (5/22/97)
I was in the computer room in my basement here and my friend J's daughter was here with me.
She was trying to print some stuff and I was helping her with the computer and I was asking her if
she ever used Print-Shop. And we were talking about Q&A and WordPerfect and I forgot to run
my speech program and was having trouble figuring out where I was and she was kind of helping
me. In the dream his daughter, who in reality is 40 sounded like she was 20. Next I remember
being at the Guild for the Blind in Hingeville. I was walking through there smoking a pipe and the
tobacco smelled really good, like cinnamon [I haven't smoked a pipe in 10 years in reality]. I was
walking through there talking to some people and all of a sudden I could hear all these little kids
coming in and somebody came over to me and said "do you hear the fire?" At first I said no, but
then I heard some sirens off in the distance. They said it was next door at a restaurant which I
remember having been in before. Then my wife was there and she was looking and I asked "How
bad does it look?" and she said "Oh, it's really a bad fire! A good one, really ablaze." Then she
took me over there and we walked into the driveway and we could hear the men up above,
working away on the roof. One of the firefighters yelled down "What are you doing here? Get out
of here now!" And I responded "I'm just glad I had a chance to hear this." I asked my wife again
how it looked and she still said that it looked pretty bad. Then rain started to fall on us but it may
have been water from the hose. I said, lets get out of this or we'll have to go home and take a
bath. I also remember at some point, being able to smell the smoke, it had a rather acrid smell
typical of house fires. (344 words)
#104-54 (6/15/97)
I was in my old office up on 6th avenue, where I worked about 5 years ago. I was with my old
work mate, P, who I haven't talked to in about 10 years. I was back there using my computer and
I was in Windows and all of a sudden I got a message through my speech synthesizer that said
"fire inside computer" and I went over to P and I said "Hey P, you better take a look at this thing
I think its on fire." She looked at it and she said "You're right, it is." But there was a computer
program that had a little woman in there and she went and found the fire and put it out with a
little fire extinguisher. A couple of minutes later I asked P if it was still on fire and she said "No,
she put it out immediately. A couple of times it's flared up but as soon as I see it, the little woman
also sees it and puts it out." And I just thought that's amazing! And I thought I wish that I'd
backed up my data better because if this fire did a lot of damage in there then I'm going to lose all
of that information. (213 words)
#105-04
Dreaming about the Internet and using the computer. The thing I remember most was that there
didn't seem to be any type of adaptive technology on the computer such as speech or large print. I
was just sitting there touching the keyboard. (42 words)
#111-11 (5/6/97)
It's Christmas and I'm talking to someone about what I'm giving people for Christmas, but I can't
remember what I'm giving everyone, I can remember some and I name them and the gifts that I'm
giving them but I can't remember what I'm giving everyone else. I was giving out some ceramic
mugs to my aunt F and others that I can't remember. And then we were at a school and an atheist
friend that I have was going to be reading the Christmas story and so we were all supposed to go
down to listen to him, they made the announcement over some kind of PA system, that we should
go down and listen to him, but I thought that doesn't seem right because he doesn't believe in God
and in Christians and I didn't want to go because it would be kind of hypocritical to be there
unless he's changed and I thought its kind of weird and so I stayed in another room, I don't know
exactly what was in there, there was a wooden floor, there was no carpeting where I was. I had a
Braille copy of the Christmas story, just a few pages like they were torn out of a magazine. It
looked like computer paper and it was all folded up and I was trying to find how it was arranged
so I could find the top. I was riffling through the pages with my hand trying to figure out how it
was arranged so that I could find the beginning. Then we were in a car, looking for something to
eat, my driver B (male) was driving us and we were hungry and we stopped in this restaurant and
there were people waiting on us that were [unclear] and these girls were waiting on us but they
weren't happy doing it or they didn't know what they were doing and there was confusion. There
were wooden tables that we were sitting at and we never really ate though because the girl that
was waiting on us was doing different things and so I don't remember eating even though we were
in there. We were sitting in the middle of this restaurant. (368 words)
#111-53 (5/29/97)
There were a whole lot of children in my house. And it was afternoon and they were cute. They
were about six or seven and I was going to go up and show them my computer and one of the
vendors from a place that sells computers and reading machines was in my house too and this lady
was with him and we all went upstairs and I had 2 dolls on my bed in my spare room and I was
touching the lace on one of my dolls and I was showing it to them, one of the collectibles I have
and they liked it and then I was showing them my computer. There was a funny connection on my
computer, there was this funny big wire and there was another little wire which connected with it
and it didn't feel right and Curt the vendor guy said, "we can't have it like that." I was kind of
relieved to have him say that it wasn't safe like that and that he was going to fix it. And the kids
were getting a kick out of the talking computer. (190 words)
#113-09
Very little activity...I dreamed that I was downstairs working on the computer, looking at
different discs that would be used in DOS, listening to them through a speaking modem. These
discs I was looking at in the windows environment because they were ASCII. Nothing strange or
out of place. I remember touching the keyboard. (54 words)
#113-21
I dreamed about using the computer, reading some files, listening to them. Nothing unusual.
Dreaming about the files that I would read or wanted to read, typing on the keyboard. (30 words)
#113-23
Earlier that evening, I had a dream that I was using the computer, using the keyboard and
listening to it . I had a tremendous amount of data that had to be entered and everything was the
wrong size. It was huge, it was monstrous, Monstrous paper, monstrous everything. At sometime
I just knew that I had to enter all of this data into the computer (66 words)
#114-29 (6/23/97)
[A day dream] Mort was on the computer, which he was when I woke up. My mother came and
said "come on upstairs. I want you to try this dress on." I put the dress on. It had a zipper and a
belt and this thing that snapped and it hung down the back. I never saw a dress like it. My father
in law and his wife came in. They had a whole bunch of groceries. I guess my dad went out and he
came in, and he must have gone shopping for us because he had groceries too. We didn't know
where to put them all, the groceries that is. (109 words)
#114-34 (7/2/97)
I was in this big room and there were computers everywhere and everyone was trying to get onto
the Internet and I don't know if they succeeded. I had to show them how to get on and I don't
even know how to do that myself, and to do it without speech is even harder for people like Mort
and myself. There were big computers, noise coming from all these people talking and the
computers, bells were ringing. (78 words)
#117-26 (7/5/97)
I was sitting in my condominium and I heard my computer start talking to me. I was curious as to
how this was happening since I hadn't turned it on or connected my speech synthesizer so the
computer could talk to me or tell me what was on the screen. Actually there was nothing on the
screen but the computer was speaking anyway. It asked me what I wanted and I said I would
want to go anywhere that I needed to get to without having to ask other people. So it said,
"Okay, lets make a program so you can put down all of the places you usually have to get to."
And I started to argue with it and asked it all kinds of questions like "how can all this be
happening? I can't drive so what difference does it make if I make out a program?" The computer
told me not to be so doubtful. Just pick out the places on the program I wanted included. So I did
and it was explained to me that I would tell my computer where I wanted to go and I would get
there. I was pretty skeptical because a lot of these pie in the sky things don't work. So I said
"Okay, I want to go shopping at the little plaza where the Ames used to be, because there are a
bunch of neat stores. Its also more fun to go with somebody and so I want to take Hilda (a blind
friend) with me." So I called her in my room, I grasped the telephone, and made a quick call and
said "lets go shopping, my computer just talked to me and I programmed it in to know that I
wanted to go different places." So we did this. I told the computer I wanted to go shopping top
that little plaza, walked into the plaza, went into some of the different stores, the Radio Shack, the
Card shop where you can buy all kinds of cards and little gifts, then we went to the bakery where
we smelled the aroma of coffee cakes and cookies and all kinds of rich, fattening pastries. Then
we went to the shoe store which isn't really there anymore but we went there anyway, and I
bought some more shoes. Then there was a department store there and I found some more music
boxes, so I bought some of those too. And we found a clothing store and Hilda wanted to buy
some clothes, some new dresses and things so I decided to check out those too. And everybody
was helpful. Then after we'd had enough shopping, I decided it was time to go home. I had my
little palm top computer and I told it through a series of commands to tell my other computer that
we needed to get home. A car came and we got home.
=====================================================================
Schneider, A., & Domhoff, G. W. (1995, updated 1999). _The_ _Quantitative_ _Study_ _of_
_Dreams_ [Web site]. Available: http://www.dreamresearch.net/ [July 25, 1999]
Web pages by Adam Schneider and G. William Domhoff
The Quantitative Study of Dreams
http://www.dreamresearch.net/
Our home page. Most of the pages listed below can be found by going here.
DreamBank
http://www.dreamresearch.net/Search/ or http://www.dreambank.net/
A searchable collection of dream reports that can be used for any type of research.
Hall/Van de Castle coding system
http://www.dreamresearch.net/Coding/
Complete rules for using the Hall/Van de Castle system of quantitative content analysis.
Examples of coded dreams
http://www.dreamresearch.net/Examples/
A few dozen dreams that have been coded with the Hall/Van de Castle system. They make an
excellent tutorial on using the system.
DreamSAT
http://www.dreamresearch.net/DreamSAT/
A spreadsheet (for Microsoft Excel) which greatly simplifies and enhances the analysis of
Hall/Van de Castle coding data SearchCodings
http://www.dreamresearch.net/SearchCodings/
An as-yet-unnamed program that searches through selected Hall/Van de Castle data which has
been prepared by DreamSAT. It's pretty raw so far, but more features will be added soon.
Randomization tests
http://www.dreamresearch.net/Randomization/
A number of new ways to look at probability and significance. Still in the experimental stage.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
== D R E A M S S E C T I O N == ED V6 N8 ==
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **
D R E A M S SECTION INDEX BY BOB K. (For ED V6 N8)
Hi there! Welcome to ELECTRIC DREAMS - DREAMS SECTION for
Vol. 6 Number 8 - August 1999
========================
Hello dreamers! Never say never! I agreed to compile the
dreams submitted through the August issue so here they are.
This month we have a rich collection of dreams covering a
wide range of subjects with images from the real to the
surreal, from the tragic to the happy. As the shared imagery
scrolls by, it is interesting how the scenes suddenly
change, and dilemmas appear in a typical dreamlike
mysterious way. From the short, one sentence dream or image
fragment to the lengthy convoluted stories with many twists
and turns, enjoy the 84 pages of dreams of August 1999.
Thanks to all of those who have shared their dreams and
commentary with our community over the past six years.
Enjoy your visit to the pages of Electric Dreams.
Bob Krumhansl
NEW CATEGORIES:
= = = = = = = = = = = ==
= = = = = = = = = = = ==
FEEDBACK FROM THE DREAMERS
{None this month]
COMMENTARY ON DREAMS FROM PREVIOUS ISSUES
{None this month]
NEW DREAMS:
PRECOGNITIVE/FUTURE DREAMS [Stories from past experiences,
or send them in before it happens, if you can]
REPETITIVE DREAMS [Significant by nature]
** Dream:"Late for Class" by Conan (990526)**
** Dream: "House nightmare & house transformed" by nickbeth
(990527) **
** Dream:"attacking cat" by Mary(990622)**
** Dream: "powers" by jw3013 (990609) **
DREAM TRACES IN WAKING LIFE [The effects of external stimuli
on our dreams or is it the other way around - our dreams
leaving a trace on our physical reality?]
DEFYING CLASSIFICATION [Your stumpers may not be so
mysterious to others]
[None this month]
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
LINKS TO STAGES OF LIFE
BIRTH [Starts]
CHILDHOOD [Early development]
** Dream: "grandmas, little girls and flying pictures" by
Mermaid (990622)**
ADOLESCENCE [Maturing, testing]
ADULTHOOD [The main event for most]
OLD AGE [Wisdom, Approaching the Journeys end]
DEATH [Endings]
** Dream: "He Killed Me!" by Shaken (990712)**
** Dream: "Dead Eyes" by Sabine (990716) **
** Dream: "Kevorkian Nudists" by ? (990704) **
COMMUNICATION WITH THE DEAD [Beyond our terrestrial limits]
** Dream: "Dead people" by ? (990516) **
==========================================
==========================================
AGGRESSION [By us or against us- crossing others paths]
** Dream: "Getting Tough" by Koala (990429) **
** Dream: "Vampires" BY ? (990712)**
** Dream: "Geshko's" by ? (990502)**
ALIENS [Visitors or visited - creatures from other
dimensions]
AMUSEMENT PARK [A place to relax and enjoy, another reality]
ANGELS [Visitors from Spiritual dimensions]
ANIMALS [Basic Instincts - This month: Hamsters, Fish,
ducks, snakes and cat's - small and large- appear.]
** Dream: "hamsters" (990509) **
** Dream: "The Large Fish & The Old Friend" by Jeff
(990720)**
** Dream:"school and ducks next door" by Mermaid (990627) **
** Dream: "Dead Cats in a River" by Cinnaminpop (990618)**
** Dream: "Alternate Marriage and Snakes" by Concerned
(990720)**
** Dream: "Strange Cat" by Tami (990512) **
** Dream: "Vividly coloured fish" by Island_Fox (990513)**
** Dream: "Black Swans" by ? (990513) **
BATHROOMS [Maintenance, Cleansing and Elimination]
BELONGING [What we are associated with or wish we were]
BOOKS (Extensions of our memory and imagination, our
permanent records)
BRIDGES [How we get across an obstacle or go from here to
there]
CELEBRITIES [The well known - famous and infamous]
CLOTHING [What we wear tells us about ourselves and the
events we participate in]
COMEDY [With an accent on puns, funny situations or jokes]
** Dream: "First Prize" by Marie (990714) **
COMMUNICATIONS [From telepathic to devices to signs &
symbols]
COMPUTERS [Extensions of our minds, mind tools,
communication]
** Dream: "Dream Stats" by dreambat (990430)**
CULTS [Somewhere out there ...]
DIRECTIONS [Ever stop and ask for directions? North, South,
East, West, up, down, ahead, behind, straight, turn, right,
left, make a circle, cross, go through, open, close, mix,
add, boil, cook, simmer, but most of all - follow these
instructions carefully...and don't be shy about asking
someone else down the path, except, of course, for the Big
Bad Wolf!!!]
DISCOVERY [New insights and unexpected developments]
** Dream: "Other Life" by William (990530) **
** Dream: "17 and Pregnant" by Jesse (990705) **
** Dream: "Head Falling off" by ? (990607)**
** Dream:"Revealing the Moon" by Amiris (990603) **
** Dream: "Translucent Brain" by ? (990512)**
DREAMING [Dreams about dreaming]
DRUGS [Healing or Hurting?]
** Dream: "Dreams,Vision,Drugs" by ? (990511) **
EATING [Getting nourishment for maintenance, growth and
pleasure]
ELEVATORS [Going UP or DOWN - Push the right button or
else...]
ESCAPE [Get me outta here!!!]
EVENTS [The activity defines or dominates the story - a
convergence of people at a place and time for a special
purpose]
EYES [The organs of sight...the window to the soul...]
FEAR [What scares us]
** Dream: "Falling" by ? (990621) **
FIRE [Flames bring light, heat and
destruction/transformation]
FLOWERS [Color and fragrance that nourish our spirit]
FLYING [Confidence, Power, Freedom & Perspective]
** Dream: "Infidelity and Flying" by D (990619) **
FOOD [The source of our physical nourishment]
** Dream: "Cooked meat" by Babylove (990704) **
GIFTS [Offerings to or from others]
HOBBIES [Our interests and desires]- COLLECTING THINGS
HOLIDAYS [Time off to ...]
HOSPITAL [A place for treatment, healing and repair]
** Dream: "Pregnancy" by Renrik (990703) **
HOUSE [Where our lives take place]
** Dream:"The Race House" by Sierra (990612) **
** Dream: "Moving Furniture" by Andrometa (990721) **
** Dream: "Hall of Doors" by Venus (990611) **
HOTELS [Temporary Dwelling or Special Event location]
JOURNEYS [Missions away from our home base -explorations]
** Dream: "Skyland" by Pine (990609) **
** Dream: "Engagement in London" by Banshee (990709)**
** Dream: "K's Adventures: The Axe Man & The Hungry Cat" by
Kly (990625) **
** Dream: "Pilot Disaster" by Thirteenth Peer (990610)**
** Dream: "Decisions" by HollyL (990601) **
** Dream: "Rotting Souls" by VdeV (990511) **
** Dream:"Looking for something evil" by CinnamonG(990512)**
** Dream: "Get up & go out" by Keyogi (990519) **
LOST [Disorientation or abandonment]
** Dream: "Peru" by Mr. Breeze (990703) **
** Dream: "I just don't know" by ? (990703) **
** Dream: "Gypsie Dream" by MT (990513) **
LOTTERY DREAMS [Sudden Wealth - Randomness favors the
dreamer]
LOVE [All around us, yet so hard to find and keep]
LUCID DREAMING [Knowing you are Dreaming when you are
Dreaming]
** Dream: "I found myself, and woke him up!" by Michael
(990609) **
** Dream: "waking from a lucid dream into another dream" by
Adridne (990608) **
MEMORY [Remembering ...In dreams we often struggle with the
issue of memories and remembering a dream which by
definition involves the process of recollection.]
MIRRORS [Reflection of Self]
MONEY [Something of value]
MUSIC [Melodies of the land within]
NUDITY [What you see is what you get]
** Dream: "Eagle Eye" by Canoraline (9904XX) **
PERFORMERS [Entertainers]
PROBLEMS [Situations or difficulties sometimes present
choices]
POLITICAL SCENE [Public issues through positions of power]
RELATIONSHIPS [Other parts of ourselves including family
which constitutes the first and earliest of our
relationships, often influencing how we relate to the
outside world]
** Dream: Nada's Dreams" by Nada (990614) **
** Dream: "The husband" by Maja (990717) **
** Dream: "future husband" by Juliet(990708)**
** Dream: "Danny" by Cass (990715) **
** Dream: "Misunderstanding Resolved" by Nissa (990627) **
** Dream: "The Rainwater Room" by Na (990622) **
RELIGIOUS RELATED [The Ritual and the Spiritual]
** Dream: "Birth of the Christ" by rc-r (990426) **
** Dream: "Manna flakes" by ? (990530) **
** Dream: "Jesus" by Kit (990507) **
ROMANCE [Thrills and Chills, lost in another]
** Dream: "Jadzia" by ? (990602) **
** Dream: "friend" by La'Sar (990703) **
SCHOOL THEMES [Learning and learning related trials]
SOLUTIONS [The answers to problems or quandaries]
STAIRS [Bridges between levels, between the upper and the
lower]
STRANGERS [Who and what we don't know yet]
TEETH [Ok, losing teeth is one of the top ten dreams people
have questions on. Theories on what they mean range all over
the spectrum of possibilities.]
TORNADOS [Pretty well defined destructive power of nature]
TRAPPED [Temporarily helpless- Sometimes we are paralyzed or
imprisoned by jobs, relationships or expectations]
** Dream: "Long Way From Home" by Homeward Bound(990426)**
** Dream: "prisoner of the state" by stan kulikowski ii
(990622) **
VEHICLES [Means of transportation, reflection of lifestyle]
** Dream: "Lost My Car in a Big Place" by Lost or Something
Else? (990507) **
** Dream: "The 650 beemer" by stan kulikowski ii (990525) **
WATER [A magical earthly fluid, nourishment, cleansing]
** Dream: "The Life Underwater" by Seagull (990501) **
** Dream: "Losing Battle of Determination" by Seeking
Enlightenment (990513) **
** Dream: "Water vs Mud" by Continuum(990521) **
WORKPLACE [Where we make a living]
WRITING & WRITERS [Communication and creativity]
= = = = = = = = = = = ==
DREAM SERIES
Stan's Dreams:
** Dream: "pk league, bunting for the fence" by Stan
Kulikowski (990427) **
** Dream: "dream with physical ailment" by stan kulikowski
ii (990714) **
** Dream:"my betrothal" by stan kulikowski ii (990715)**
** Dream: "psychic fair" by stan kulikowski ii (990512) **
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Farewell for this month.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
= = = = = = = = = = = ==
= = = = = = = = = = = ==
FEEDBACK FROM THE DREAMERS
{None this month]
COMMENTARY
ON DREAMS FROM PREVIOUS ISSUES
{None this month]
NEW DREAMS:
PRECOGNITIVE/FUTURE DREAMS [Stories from past experiences,
or send them in before it happens, if you can]
REPETITIVE DREAMS [Significant by nature]
** Dream:"Late for Class" by Conan (990526)**
Late 4 Class re-occurring Dream
I dream I'm attending a HUGE college. I wander
beautifully manicured grounds and walk along majestic
hallways of glass, granite and marble; all lush with potted
plants and expensive artwork. Everybody is lively and busy
with college life, and I enjoy it so much I forget I'm
supposed to be getting registered.
These dreams span months in the course of one night.
Eventually, I realize I'm almost out of time and I simply
MUST get registered. I scurry hither and thither searching
in vain for the registration office. Eventually I realize I
actually HAD registered, but forgotten, and I've lost my
course schedule so I don't have any clue where my class is.
Suddenly, I'm back in the halls of my old high school. I get
a copy of my course schedule and rush to the class, hoping I
can catch up. I walk in and sit down in a room full of kids,
even though I'm 35 years old ... only to find the final exam
being passed out. I look at the exam and of course, it's a
jumble of complex formulas that would befuddle Stephen
Hawkings.
I usually wake up at that point, feeling very nervous and
stressed, but also exhilarated by the majestic college
campus. I feel a longing to return and always look forward
to the next re-occurrence of the dream.
Thanks all ~ Conan
** Dream: "House nightmare & house transformed" by nickbeth
(990527) **
childhood-Christmas '98 (old)/ May 26, 1999 (new)
This dream is a recurring one that changed significantly
last night.
Before last night, it went like this:
I'm walking down a hallway in a big house with many rooms
branching off the hallway. I go into the first room and try
to turn on the light, but it doesn't work. It's late
afternoon, and the sunlight is slanting in through the
window, giving me just enough light to see my reflection in
the mirror on the opposite wall. When I look into the
mirror, I realize that I am naked and that my face is
horribly distorted and bleeding. I run out of the room and
find myself in a corridor on a train. Someone is now
chasing me (my reflection?) and so I am running from room to
room, alternating between coming out into the hallway in the
house and the corridor on the train. In every room there is
another mirror and my reflection gets closer and more
menacing every time. The running/chasing/mirror sequence
would usually go on until I woke up sweating and shaking and
terrified. Apparently I talked and whimpered and yelled in
my sleep when I had this dream.
Last night, it was the same dream, only very different.
This time, I'm strolling down the hallway, dragging my hands
over the plaster walls, enjoying the feeling of the bumps in
the walls over my fingertips. As I go into the first room,
the light comes on right away, and there's a man lying on a
bed with a large cut on his arm. He looks really scary and
frightening (like a homeless man), but I'm not afraid. I
went over and cleaned up the cut on his arm, ripped the
sheet on the bed, and bandaged him up. Then I started to
pray for him to get better. He then disappeared. I was
expecting him to, I guess, since it didn't faze me at all.
As I walked out into the train corridor, I realized that
someone was waiting for me, and although I wanted to rush to
see who it was, I knew that I was doing something important,
and that I had to finish it before seeing who was there. I
went through the same alternating sequence with the hallway
and the corridor as before, but this time in every room was
someone who needed bandaging and prayer before they all
disappeared. Finally I came out of a room into another room
(they had all had the hallway/corridor break before) and
this time it was a beautiful bedroom with candles everywhere
like a sappy soap-opera seduction scene. The person who was
waiting for me was in the bed, and I don't know who it was
supposed to be, but it wasn't who I was expecting. It was
my new boyfriend in the bed, and he got up, took my hand,
and held me close while I cried, but it felt good. When I
finished crying, he kissed me on the forehead, and I woke up
feeling very excited and full of energy.
Comments by Dreamer: In the first dream, I am the only one
in it, (with the possible exception of my reflection, which
is chasing me) and in the second dream, the only person I
recognized was my new boyfriend, whom I've been dating for
less than a month.
** Dream:"attacking cat" by Mary(990622)**
22 June 01:30
I was walking down a country lane with my husband, and
further ahead down the road was a cat. I love cats - so I
was calling out to him. Then all of a sudden (and I could
sense the tone of the dream changing) my husband had
disappeared, and I'd fallen down, but couldn't get up - I
was totally lacking in co-ordination. Then suddenly, I
could see that the cat was running towards me, but it was no
longer a nice friendly cat, but had yellow eyes and bared
teeth. So I tried to shout at it to go away, but couldn't
make sounds other then strangled noises. Then I thought I'd
throw my shoe at it, but again, I couldn't control or
co-ordinate my limbs. Then the cat was coming closer and
closer, and I could see it was going for my face/throat, so
I tried desperately to shout/move for all I was worth to
scare it away...and I woke up shrieking and hitting my
husband.
Comments by Dreamer: Very scary - as it's not the first time
I've had the "attacking cat" dream.
** Dream: "powers" by jw3013 (990609) **
I have constant reocurring dreams of levitating objects and
even myself. I also have constant dreams of having physic
abilities. I dreamt that I was backed into a corner with an
evil monster with huge sharp teeth that just ate someone. He
was about to eat me and I was terrified to death. All of a
sudden I started chanting prayers and things from the bible
and just mentioning Jesus Christs name (I must mention that
I am not spiritual and churchy at all). All of a sudden, I
remember seeing the colors red green and white, and then I
felt this total feeling of lightness and I started to rise
up out of my body or all of my body did and I felt
invincible. I told the monster that he cannot touch me
because Jesus Christ is protecting me. I was safe. But then
the monster was gone, and I kept levitating myself or having
out of body experiences whenever I saw the colors red and
grenn and white it seemed that way. But it felt so real and
spiritual.
I also have a dream that I was helping people find
people that were trapped under a collapsed building and I
led them to a little boy and told them what he was wearing
the color of his hair and what he was saying. When they
found him, everything said I said was true.
Comments by dreamer: I dont know if these reoccuring dreams
really mean something or if they are just wishful thinking.
I am not even sure if I want them to be real.
DREAM TRACES IN WAKING LIFE [The effects of external stimuli
on our dreams or is it the other way around - our dreams
leaving a trace on our physical reality?]
[None this month]
DEFYING CLASSIFICATION [Your stumpers may not be so
mysterious to others]
[None this month]
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
LINKS TO STAGES OF LIFE
BIRTH [Starts]
CHILDHOOD [Early development]
** Dream: "grandmas, little girls and flying pictures" by
Mermaid (990622)**
I went with my daughter to visit my paternal Grandma
(dead in waking life for nearly 10 years). I hadn't seen
her for a while, but had kept up correspondence with her and
was surprised to have heard nothing about the little African
girl she had adopted. This girl was comparable in age to
Emily, my daughter and was happily doing drawings. One of
these drawings was of a big flying pig that began looking
like a butterfly as it was drawn. Emily walked across and
drew a cat inside the belly of the outlined flying pig, then
both girls picked up the page that was folded like a paper
jet, went outside into the sunny street, threw it and waved
as it flew off on its own volition. Soon after that,
Emily's Nanna (her Dad's mother; my mother in law) dropped
in for a visit. We were just finishing our cups of tea when
somebody noticed the time and realized Nanna June would be
late for the party she had been invited to. It was an old
friend of hers she was to visit. Somebody opened a book on
the shelf and said, why don't we call Wanda. She might fly
June there?
ADOLESCENCE [Maturing, testing]
ADULTHOOD [The main event for most]
OLD AGE [Wisdom, Approaching the Journeys end]
DEATH [Endings]
** Dream: "He Killed Me!" by Shaken (990712)**
07/08/99 2:30 a.m.
My father, whom I do not get along with, had kidnapped
my sister. I went to my old house where he still lives to
try to get her back. I went to the side door and came
running back out because he had shot me in the chest with a
shotgun. I stumbled around the side of the house and ran
into my neighbor. She kept asking me what happened and all
I could say was "he shot me. Call a doctor." Then, I died.
I didn't know it until I was looking at my body on the
ground with my neighbor hovering over it. My spirit kept
going higher and higher and then all of a sudden I started
plummeting back down. Expecting to see my body on the
pavement outside my old house, I was looking at my body in
my bedroom. I was sleeping. I drifted down to my body and
settled in. I woke feeling as if I were being pressed into
my mattress with a great weight and realized that I had just
had some type of out of body experience. I always thought
it was not possible to die in your dreams.
** Dream: "Dead Eyes" by Sabine (990716) **
I hope you can help me..I had this really scary dream
last night, and I don't know how to read it.
There is this man that I fell for last year, and it has
been a really intense love for him for me. We are constantly
in contact, and see each other like once in two months or
so. He is really busy with his profession and has to travel
all the time. He claims to like me more than I think. He is
28 and I am turning 20 by the end of August. I don't know if
this additional information is any help but anyway...what I
can remember about my dream is..
I am walking towards a cemetery and the reason is that
I've heard that he died through one of his tournaments (he
is a really successful athlete) so I am walking between
these tombstones towards this little crowd about two hundred
yards away. As I pass people coming from this crowd, I
recognize my aunt sitting next to a tombstone wearing a
wedding dress and having a picnic with her friends.She looks
at me smiles and I keep on walking towards the crowd. Then I
find myself on a balcony over this guy's grave. He is lying
there facing the ground, and a couple of people are standing
next to him talking. He is still wearing the clothes he wore
at the tournament, and the funeral seems to be over as the
people leave.
On the balcony, I find a newspaper were they have
already written about his death. Next thing I know is I
am looking down at him, and people are moving his dead body,
rolling him on his back. As they turn him around, I
recognize that his hair has grown, and then I look him right
in to his face and his eyes stare at me and are really close
to my own eyes, although I am on the balcony. So I am
staring into his dead eyes and I feel sad.....then I woke up
and felt really confused, weird and scared. I really hope
you can help me. I was thinking of sharing this dream with
him but I don't want to scare him. Please help me. I feel so
confused. Thank you, Sincerely, Sabine
** Dream: "Kevorkian Nudists" by ? (990704) **
I was back in time about 30 years or so. I was in this
nudist camp for elderly people (I am not elderly; I'm 28)
that was run by Dr. Jack Kevorkian.
These folks were doing all the normal stuff that people
do in nudist camps: volley ball, sunbathing, badminton,
stuff like that. Anyway, this camp was out in the middle of
the woods, and there was this old fashioned 4 legged white
bathtub about 30 feet in front of this cabin. I was standing
near the bathtub, fully clothed.
Every so often, an old woman would climb into the
bathtub and joyously slit her own throat with a very long,
slim knife. As she bled to death, all the people in the camp
would form a big pile and have a furiously fast-paced
INTENSELY AGRESSIVE orgy. This would last for 10 minutes or
so, then they would go back to what they were doing before
like nothing had happened.
I questioned them about it and they acted like they
didn't know what I was talking about. The bathtub was always
clean at the end of the orgy, and Dr. Kevorkian was in a
window in the upper part of the cabin, laughing the whole
time.
Comments by Dreamer: This is still disturbing me, and it's
still very vivid. Any help would be appreciated.
Permission Comments: Do whatever you wish with this. I only
want help in interperetation.
COMMUNICATION WITH THE DEAD [Beyond our terrestrial limits]
** Dream: "Dead people" by ? (990516) **
I have in the past dreamt a lot of my dead grandma who
was the only grandparent i knew, i had dreamt that she had
come back to visit even thought she has been dead, she sat
down with me and my mom at a coffee shop and we were letting
her listen to all the songs she missed while she was away.
This dream was pretty common to me since i dreamt of this
grandma relatively lots and these dreams had taken place
last year. But a really uncommon dream was a dream i dreamnt
this year about my other grandma who i have never known
because she died when i was only a couple months old. I
dreamt that there was a family gathering in a big tent and i
was sitting on this grandma's lap and all of us were telling
her all the news she had missed in the past 17 years! (im 17
btw)
This dream just came from out of the blue, and i don't
understand why. my classmate friends kept appearing in this
dream near the tent as well so it was a kind of unorganized
dream. But what could it possibly mean? The night before or
the night after this dream i dreamt of my other grandma who
was walking around my relatives house in either canada or
virginia (setting kept switching) and she was acting very
unlike her personality, she was being irritable and bitchy
(maybe she was in a form of a ghost), when i slammed the
bathroom door she screamed at me as my father usually would
(she's my mom's mom though) which was very wierd because
thats sooo unlike her when she was alive. She never screamed
at me, she was always quite pleasant.
Comments by Dreamer: So why do u think i dreamt of two dead
people two nights in a row? especially the grandma i didn't
know and whom i was sitting on the lap of? I'm sorry this
is sooo long but interested in anything u could comment
about them. thank you
==========================================
==========================================
AGGRESSION [By us or against us- crossing others paths]
** Dream: "Getting Tough" by Koala (990429) **
I'm being taunted by a little mexican boy (I'm white).
He seems to be trying to get me angry by saying that if
that's all the harder I can hit, I must be pretty weak. I
get tired of hearing him go on so I hit him. I keep hitting
him while I tell him that I've been taking it easy on him
all along. He has a shocked look on his face because I'm
inflicting pain. I told him I could have been hitting him
like that all along, but I didn't want to and it wasn't
necessary. I wasn't really angry as much as I was thinking,
"You little jerk! Here I've been taking it easy on you and
instead of just being grateful, you want to push me to the
edge and make me hurt you!"
Immediately after that, I'm riding a black or brown
horse--feeling really good being out in the fresh air on a
sunny day. I get to the top of a small hill and dismount.
The horse turns into a stick horse, but the head, torso, and
front legs of the horse are there and it's real, not
stuffed. I cradle the horse in my arms (it's very weak) and
begin rocking it back and forth. I feel very sad that
someone could have done this to a beautiful animal just to
make a childs toy. Then I woke up.
=========================
This dream came in from the Electric Dreams Network. If you
would like your comments to be published along with this
dream, please send the comments to Bob Krumhansl -
bobkrum@erols.com
Please include the dream title, a pen name or just your
first name. If you want your email published with the dream
comment, make this very clear. Otherwise all submissions
are considered anonymous. For more information on the
Electric Dreams Network, visit
http://www.dreamgate.com/electric-dreams
- Richard
** Dream: "Vampires" BY ? (990712)**
A vampire attacks me. I am not afraid nor in pain, but
I am alone. I see others and they do not understand. I am
unable to stop the feelings that this vampire induces. The
details are very clear and concise, but I am beginning to
get concerned in my waking moments.
Permission Comments: Please interpret this as best that you
can.
** Dream: "Geshko's" by ? (990502)**
May 2
I find myself outside a theatre where I do spotlights,
and this girl that I think I love is cowering in a corner.
Her boyfriend is yelling at her, and it looks like its about
to get violent. I step in between them and stare at the guy.
He looks suprised for a second, then starts pummeling me.
For some reason, I don't fight back. As I lose conciousness
in the dream, I wake up.
ALIENS [Visitors or visited - creatures from other
dimensions]
AMUSEMENT PARK [A place to relax and enjoy, another reality]
ANGELS [Visitors from Spiritual dimensions]
ANIMALS [Basic Instincts - This month: Hamsters, Fish,
ducks, snakes and cat's - small and large- appear.]
** Dream: "hamsters" (990509) **
I dreamt that I had hamsters around me.
** Dream: "The Large Fish & The Old Friend" by Jeff
(990720)**
Hi there. I was filling in a bit of time on the net
today when I found your address and the site on dreams. I
dream a lot and very often I have no idea what certain
things mean.
My most recent dream was about a large fish that jumped
out of the water and was chasing me after it bit me on the
leg, it had me bailed up against a wall. The funny thing
was that most of the dream was spent telling people about
the fish. My Mum even said "You know that's almost
unbelievable".
I also have a reoccurring dream about a best friend
from primary school whom I haven't seen for 15 years. I
dream that I have bumped into her and that we are
reaquainted. I say in the dream "Hey I've dreamt about
this." Looking forward to hearing from you. Jess
** Dream:"school and ducks next door" by Mermaid (990627) **
Dreamed on 5am Sunday 27th June 1999:
first snippet..neighbours had opened the fence down the
back of our garden like a gate, but had cut down a
well-established loquat tree. Although there aren't "really"
ducks around, there had been in the dream, only they were
all in with the neighbours, including some stripey
ducklings. I had the impression that we used to "share" the
ducks, but suddenly the neighbours were worried about them
being taken away, and had them cooped up. They agreed to
one duck and one duckling coming into our yard again, but
wanted us to watch a video on duck development and the
latest technology and trendy duck-maintenance techniques.
The dream snippet ended with me and my 2 year old son
trying to catch the duck and duckling to get a closer look
at them and pat their feathers and feed them some greens and
snails.
****
Then I took my 5 year old daughter to a school holiday
program at my old school. She really liked it, and the
school headmistress (from my time) and wanted to change to
go there instead of her current school. She took a test
and was at a suitable level of academic excellence to
qualify for a scholarship. On the way "home" from the
school, we had to cross a railway line and somebody was
worried about taking their toddler over it and had a tight
harness on him in the stroller. Emily liked crossing the
bridge to see the view over the railway line and surrounds.
notes - it seemed warm and sunny and daytime in my dreams
though it was really cool and misty when I got up.
I went to an all girls' Anglican school.
I think it was a mother duck and a male duckling in our
yard.
** Dream: "Dead Cats in a River" by Cinnaminpop (990618)**
June 18,1999
I was at school when all of us students were making flower
bouquets, and I had gotten on the bus to go home. When I got
home, I got off the bus. Then, I returned to the bus for no
reason and rode the usual route. Then, all of a sudden, I
was getting off the bus and walking through this river about
ankle deep. I noticed that I kept stepping on something, and
to my surprise, I looked down and I was stepping on dead
cats. The dead cats were floating in the river everywhere. I
couldn't step over them. I have no clue on the meaning of
this dream. It was a dream I will never forget.
Comments by Dreamer: I wish I knew what a river full of dead
cats means.
** Dream: "Alternate Marriage and Snakes" by Concerned
(990720)**
I have had two dreams over the past two weeks that have
disturbed me, the first one in particular.
The first one I dreamt I was marrying the brother of a
friend who I have not seen in over a year. The problem is
that her brother died in a car accident 2 years ago. I am
currently married, but in my dream my husband had been dead
for six years. What does this mean?
The second one I dreamt of snakes. I have been told that
snakes are not good to dream about, but in this dream I was
walking through a clearing in a forest. There were campers
on either side of me killing the snakes. The snakes were not
actually going for me.
Your interpretation of these dreams would be appreciated.
Concerned.
** Dream: "Strange Cat" by Tami (990512) **
wed. am, May 12, 1999 6:45 am
I was in a house in California (I actually live in
Kansas) and everyone(?not my family, not my friends, just
people in the house. Me being there wasn't an issue) was
using all of the showers upstairs. Someone told me to try
the kitchen so I went downstairs. I was mildly irritated to
find no bathroom at all downstairs, so I wandered over to
the refridgerator (olive green, but not ugly) and proceeded
to open it, exclaim out loud "this is stupid, I can't take a
shower with a refridgerator, what am I doing here" then I
flipped to a different view in the kitchen (about 6 feet
back from the refridgerator, facing it, a kitchen island to
my right, stairs to my left, sliding door and window to the
right of the refridgerator) I looked on the floor by the
island and a huge decorative conch shell was sitting beside
it. That wasn't strange because we were in California, and
the ocean was nearby (dream logic, also in the dream, I had
remembered that you needed to be careful of the animal that
lives in the conch shell???) I was looking at the shell
when a fluffy orange, striped tail came out of the back of
it. It looked like a big orange tabby cat (kind of bright)
and when it had emerged I noticed that it had 2 heads. One
head was a passive head, eyes not opened and no movement of
the mouth, the active head only cracked its eyes open (and I
didn't seem all that concerned about that in my dream) the
mouth was meowing, but I didn't actually hear its sound, I
just knew it was making one. Then I awoke, Vividly aware of
all of the details.
Comments by Dreamer: I had no fear, just mild curiosity,
also mild irritation at the inconvenience of no shower.
Permission Comments: Sure, that's fine. I can't seem to
make heads or tails of it, maybe someone else can
** Dream: "Vividly coloured fish" by Island_Fox (990513)**
May 11 12:10 AM
My dream was of vividly coloured fish. Turquoise and yellow
fish, were swimming in a huge aquarium. A whole wall was
covered by this aquarium.
On the other wall was shelves and they had the same coloured
fish in small fish bowls.
My aunt was indirectly involved in the dream because it was
her home, but I never saw her.
The only way to get out of the room was to use a motor boat,
and I had to go through a trap door in the wall that had the
huge aquarium covering it.
The dream seemed to go on for some time.
At one time or another I was in the boat, but in the ocean
now, and the ocean was an angry ocean. There was a station
where I could go to the bathroom and it was filthy..........
That's about all I can remember, but I didn't have to get up
to go to the bathroom I just woke up rolled over and went
back to a peacefull sleep
Comments by Dreamer: Beautifull Turquoise and Yellow
colours
** Dream: "Black Swans" by ? (990513) **
Saturday 24th April 1999
In my dream, I had a vision of some black swans on a very
still lake.
I believe that black swans have some significance, but can
you tell me what that is???!!
BATHROOMS [Maintenance, Cleansing and Elimination]
BELONGING [What we are associated with or wish we were]
BOOKS (Extensions of our memory and imagination, our
permanent records)
BRIDGES [How we get across an obstacle or go from here to
there]
CELEBRITIES [The well known - famous and infamous]
CLOTHING [What we wear tells us about ourselves and the
events we participate in]
COMEDY [With an accent on puns, funny situations or jokes]
** Dream: "First Prize" by Marie (990714) **
long time ago
My sister and I were walking along a wooded path
talking when we came along a male passed out in a kilt. I
was very attracted to him and went closer to look. I peeked
underneath his kilt. I then took the ribbon out of my hair
and tied it around his private. When he woke, I was
watching him, but he couldn't see me. He started on his way
along the path till it came to and end. He had to cross the
road to enter row houses. He went in the house and started
up the stairs, on the way up I was thinking of what a
strange colour that was to paint the walls. He went in the
bathroom and was going when someone (I thought was his
mother) yelled to him and asked him where he had been. He
said he didn't know, but won first prize.
I started to panic and thought I shouldn't be here
seeing him like this. I was really frightened and didn't
know what was happening. I woke sweating and afraid.
COMMUNICATIONS [From telepathic to devices to signs &
symbols]
COMPUTERS [Extensions of our minds, mind tools,
communication]
** Dream: "Dream Stats" by dreambat (990430)**
The school dean suggests that we ask Stan to help with my
statistics. He points the way and I go down the hall and
then ask a secretary where his office is. She hasn't a clue,
but another woman overhears us and points the way. I enter
and its like a motel room and office combination. Stan is
sitting on the bed playing with his laptop computer. He is
very amazed by how the graphics program can bend and twist
his picture. I tell him the program can duplicate it as
well. He says yes, look at this, and then opens several
windows on the computer with his graphic. I tell him that
the program will also put the graphic together as a 3
dimensional object, such as a cube, or develop it as a
fractal as well. He is quite amazed by this. He takes my
statistics and says he needs to run these at his house and
will be back. I am left kind of confused and irritated. I
think to myself in the dream that I guess he expects me to
just stay there and study until he gets back. GAP then I go
looking for him. I get into a bad neighborhood and jump over
a chain link fence and enter a large park that has many
hills. I see they are letting the animals out. I worry about
them. They are zoo animals and usually locked up. I see
lions and elephants and hippos and ostriches. I decide they
might be hungry after their nap and run up the hill to get
away.
CULTS [Somewhere out there ...]
DIRECTIONS [Ever stop and ask for directions? North, South,
East, West, up, down, ahead, behind, straight, turn, right,
left, make a circle, cross, go through, open, close, mix,
add, boil, cook, simmer, but most of all - follow these
instructions carefully...and don't be shy about asking
someone else down the path, except, of course, for the Big
Bad Wolf!!!]
DISCOVERY [New insights and unexpected developments]
** Dream: "Other Life" by William (990530) **
May 30, 1999
My name is William and I had a dream that was like
real. I had a dream that we found 8 planets around one
anouther and one of them had life on it - Human like. We had
invented a Time Machine Telescope that you step inside of,
and this is what was taking us to the 8 planets we had
found.
** Dream: "17 and Pregnant" by Jesse (990705) **
I had this dream that I was pregnant, and so was my
best friend. We are both 17 years old and for some reason
were really happy about it. We were in a dark street and
then suddenly we were on a bus and that is all I can
remember.
** Dream: "Head Falling off" by ? (990607)**
A few weeks ago:
A friend of mine who told a few of us about his weird
dream want's to know what it means, but is too shy to ask
anyone about it. Coming across your site in a search engine,
I saw the chance to mail a dream and have it looked into.
Could you please do me a big honour of telling me what it
means, Thank you.
To help out with it a bit, there's a site on which we
talk to each other [about 10 people] everyday. None of us
have met, only over the net. What the dream was about is:
We all decide to meet one day in a Bar. We are all waiting
in the bar for him to come in and join us, and after a long
wait, he comes through the door, and he looks around and his
head falls off. Now, funny as it is, that's all the dream
consisted of.
Comments by Dreamer: Eh, Please help.
** Dream:"Revealing the Moon" by Amiris (990603) **
Tuesday, June 1, 1999/Wednesday, June 2, 1999
I was outside with someone, male, I believe. I knew the
person but could not see the face nor did I know the name,
but the voice was familiar. We were outside in the parking
lot by my apartment complex. It was night and the sky was
cloudy and there was wind--I was upset because I couldn't
see the moon so this person told me to cast a spell so that
the moon would reveal itself to me. I performed a ritual
but can't remember how I did it.
Once I finished the ritual the clouds parted and
immediately I saw a perfectly round bright full moon. I was
jumping up and down quite excited because the spell had
worked and the person standing with me said, "see, I told
you that you could do it". I was really happy at this
point. I stood with this person in the moonlight staring at
the moon. As soon as the moon revealed itself to me the wind
stopped. Suddenly there appeared little black bats as if
they had flown out of the moon itself. At first I was
nervous, maybe even a bit frightened, but as the bats came
closer I realized that they had appeared as a result of the
spell I had cast and that they meant no harm. They circled
close over my head and I reached up my arms and made it so
that they could land on my hand if they choose to but they
just flew back into the moon. Immediately after they
returned to the moon I looked down at my feet and saw little
turtles-one for each bat that had flown over my head but I
cant remember the number (possibly ten). Since we were in
the parking lot I picked up a soft powder blue blanket and
held it in my arms, I then started to place the turtles into
the blanket I was holding to move them out of the parking
lot and to a safer place.
Then the dream changed scenes, and I was in my step
father's convenience store looking at butterfly clips for my
hair. I saw only black and white and was trying to decide
between the two. I moved the basket that they were in and
saw a pink butterfly clip and choose that one. The person
in my dream was with me until I went to the convenience
store.
Other than the few moments of nervousness when the bats
first appeared and confusion when I was trying to choose a
hair clip the overall emotional feel of the dream was
excitement and happiness.
Comments by Dreamer: I had this dream when I went to bed and
was surprised that I remembered so much of it that I was
surprised. I would love it if someone could analyze this
dream and tell what everything means in it.
Permission Comments: Please forward any comments or
interpretations to my e-mail address it amiris@hotmail.com.
** Dream: "Translucent Brain" by ? (990512)**
Date of Dream: 5/12/99 8:00am
I had a very disturbing dream last night. I dreamt that I
was looking in the mirror, and that I had very stringy hair
and when I combed it aside, it revealed my translucent head
with carrots and corn slices imbeded in my brain. I tried
to peel one of the carrots off, but it gave me a strange,
tingling feeling and something told me that I should just
leave it alone. Then I thought about eating it and
visualized myself doing it. Then I held my breath and my
head turned hot and heated up until my head turned opaque
again.
Comments by Dreamer: I normally wouldn't worry about
something like this, but the dream has been haunting my
day-dreams all day today. Every time I stop doing
something, I think about the dream. It must be a warning of
something, but I don't know what. I currently have a head
full of hair and I'm 19 and going slightly gray. Maybe it
has something to do with my upcoming exams. I really don't
know.
Permission Comments: Comment away on this. I'm very curious
about it.
DREAMING [Dreams about dreaming]
DRUGS [Healing or Hurting?]
** Dream: "Dreams,Vision,Drugs" by ? (990511) **
Stories about young people dreaming and religious
themes. Visions people have and drugs people use.
Permission Comments: No put downs for comments! Thank you!
EATING [Getting nourishment for maintenance, growth and
pleasure]
ELEVATORS [Going UP or DOWN - Push the right button or
else...]
ESCAPE [Get me outta here!!!]
EVENTS [The activity defines or dominates the story - a
convergence of people at a place and time for a special
purpose]
EYES [The organs of sight...the window to the soul...]
FEAR [What scares us]
** Dream: "Falling" by Date: Mon, 21 Jun 1999 23:52:30
-0700
I had a dream once that I was at my old school which I
had went to when I was a child. With me were my 2 year old
cousin and my aunt. We were playing on the side of a cliff
when I notice that my cousin is falling. I just stood there
and let her fall. She hit the bottom of the cliff, the road,
and I thought surely that she was dead. I got to the bottom
and she was alive.
Comments by Dreamer: I don't know why I had this dream, I
love my little cousin with all of my heart.
FIRE [Flames bring light, heat and
destruction/transformation]
FLOWERS [Color and fragrance that nourish our spirit]
FLYING [Confidence, Power, Freedom & Perspective]
** Dream: "Infidelity and Flying" by D (990619) **
17June...5am
My husband and I are at a dance. He's making a move on
some woman, and dancing with her all night. I go to the
washroom where a young woman is who also has her eye on my
husband. I confront her and she cries; I put my hand gently
on her face and say, 'if women would only talk to one
another, we'd never hurt each other'.
Two friends and I and another person in a circle -
special dance. We're all floating and Duncan goes first - he
flies through the air in a larger circle around us dipping
in to touch his wife... he's doing it wrong because he
doesn't dip in to the rest of us. It was very difficult to
maintain, but we enjoyed it.
Can any one make any sense of this??? Thanks for your help.
Comments by Dreamer: My husband did have an affair 20 years
ago, but it's not something I've dwelled on in the last
decade or so.
FOOD [The source of our physical nourishment]
** Dream: "Cooked meat" by Babylove (990704) **
June 29, 5.30 a.m. /july 4 6.30 a.m.
My father and I are in a banquet. There is buffet style
food kept in food warmers. I hand my father a very fine
china dish that seemed like it was an antique and very
expensive. Then I take one of the dishes for myself. The
waiter then points out to my father the first dish. I look
at it. It is chicken legs in a very rich sauce of herbs and
spices. My father fills his plate and moves ahead. I see
very small pieces of meat with huge pieces of potatoes
floating in the sauce. I see my father whistling and in a
very happy mood. The place is lit with chandeliers and is
very bright. There are lots of people all in a happy mood.
Then I wake up to find myself in bed. It was dawn about 5.30
a.m.
After a week, I dreamt that my parents and I are in a
train and the journey has ended. We go to the end of the
train where the kitchen is. There are many tray of foods
stacked to one side and the other side is an exit. The I see
pieces of bird meat cooked and kept in the trays. I tell my
father that they look like turkey legs. Suddenly, I see the
legs twitching. I tell my mother that if the meat is cooked
how come they are still twitching. Anyway, I begin to get
out of the train and after having got out, I tell my mother
that she has to get off as that is the last stop and the
train will go back. Then I wake up. The time was 6.30 a.m.
GIFTS [Offerings to or from others]
HOBBIES [Our interests and desires]- COLLECTING THINGS
HOLIDAYS [Time off to ...]
HOSPITAL [A place for treatment, healing and repair]
** Dream: "Pregnancy" by Renrik (990703) **
July 3 - 8am
The dream was that I was in a hospital filling out
forms because I was very pregnant. I was sitting next to a
male friend of mine who just happened to be there and was
playing a computer game at a desk. I had been playing before
him waiting for nurse to arrive. Once the papers came, I
started filling them out, but I couldn't answer any of the
information on them because I didn't know the answers.
As my anxiety grew, I started having contractions and
my water broke, but the nursing staff refused to see me
until the form was filled out. Everyone seemed to be
oblivious to my panic. Finally, I stood up and there was
blood/water all over the seat from when my water broke and
my friend finally noticed that I really needed to see
someone. He said I should go to the elevator and go to the
maternity ward, and then he resumed playing his game.
I headed to the elevator, clipboard and sheet in hand
waiting for it to arrive when a check-in guard/nurse noticed
that I didn't look so good. She rushed over and helped me
into the elevator and took me to the emergency floor instead
of maternity because she said they only deal with people who
have already given birth there. As the elevator doors
slammed shut, I woke up.
Comments by Dreamer: Alright, to set the stage, I am a 23
year old woman, seriously involved with a man for the past
1.5 years...and I am not pregnant and never have been. I am
also very faithful to my parnter and would never dream of
cheating on him. I do not plan on getting married for the
next couple of years, and do not plan on having children
until I am at least 30. I am on exchange and am heading
home in two weeks. This dream was very disturbing to me.
HOUSE [Where our lives take place]
** Dream:"The Race House" by Sierra (990612) **
06/12/99 - approx. 0500 am
In my dream, I am at a lake near a place called Deer
Run. In reality I actually lived quite close to this
location. I am in a race or practing for a race (probably a
rogaine or orienteering type event). I start running over
hills, dirt, in the bush, brush, It is overcast out but not
uncomfortable weather. I am part of a team but the other
two members are there yet. I reach a fork in the road where
the trail seems to incline slowly. There I meet up with my
team members (two girls whom I was very good friends with in
elementary/high school). We also meet up with another team,
one girl and two guys. The girl is short and fat, I
recognize her but I am not sure from where. The two males I
do not actually see but I know that they are there. I ask
them where they started and they say that they began. This
irritates me and I say, "well i began at the beginning
that's where you are supposed to start."
The next thing I know is that all 6 of us are running
together as a pack. We reach a old white house that has
seen better times. We all go inside up the stairs to a
room. The room possibly could have been a living room at
one point but it looks like it has been converted into a
store. The walls have shelves and it is very dusty and
bare. A man behind the counter tells me that it once was
really busy but slowed down considerably since the mine shut
down. At this point I go to a very large window and look
out, I see the mine entrance which looks like a two door
garage except that it looks really new.
I turn around and there are two miners in there buying
something and then they leave. At this point I also notice
that the short fat girl from the other team is eating
something that looks like rice pudding, she says she needs
it for energy if she is going to win the race. I turn to
Suzanne and Diana, my team, and say, "come on let's go I can
win this race." The short fat girl goes up some stairs but
S, D, and myself go out the doorway. To get down we have to
descend down a broken, rickety old ladder. One of the males
from the other team is doing just this and is nearly at the
bottom. I once again say that I can win this race and climb
down two rungs at which point there is a rope hanging down
to the ground. I slide down the rope because it is better
and faster still thinking, "I am going to win this race."
Comments by Dreamer: I appear to be uncertain about what is
going on, ie. how I got to be in this race but the overall
feeling of the dream is positive. In real life I have just
recently separated from my partner with no explanation other
than it was all them and had nothing to do with me. Could
this be affecting my dreaming?
** Dream: "Moving Furniture" by Andrometa (990721) **
July 21,1999 Approx. 3:00AM
My dream was very simple... I was in a living room and
I was moving a couch toward a wall. My best friend came
into the room and he began to yell at me and he told me not
to move the couch my the wall...
Comments by Dreamer: I just want to know if this dream
means anything about me and/or my relationship with my best
friend... He and I are on the verge od starting a romantic
relationship...
Permission Comments: You may publish my dream to anyone...
** Dream: "Hall of Doors" by Venus (990611) **
06/09/99 3 a.m. est upon waking
I must tell you about a dream I had Wed night....the
only reason I say this is because it is really the only one
this week that I have remembered afterwards...darn thing
even woke me up!
It was really clear too, at least the last part of
it........Here I am (and I do swear it is almost like a
scrooge type thing) with this entity...dont know exactly
what or who...but they led me through different phases of my
life...can't really remember that part...but at the end the
entity lead me to a hallway. It lead me there and told me to
get in the first line leading to a doorway, then it was
gone. As I looked around myself and this hallway, I could
see several doorways all the way down the hall...no end to
the actual hallway...every doorway was the same and at each
doorway there was a line of women....all clones of
me...every single one of them in blue nightgowns exactly
like the one I was wearing in my dream, and also actually
wearing to bed that night. I could see each woman walk up
to the door and walk out. Finally it came my turn to be at
the doorway...all I could see was a sky and clouds...all
these women were walking out into nothingness! and they
gladly went!! ! I remember thinking to myself "forget
this, I'm not jumpin out a doorway to my death!" I ran up
and down the hallway looking for another door that went
somewhere else...shouting at all of them to stop, what were
they doing? No one answered, they just kept walking out the
doorways...no expressions....just emptiness on their
faces....except when they hit the doorway and started
falling they were happy! I could see the joy on their faces
as they fell to what I presumed to be death......At that
point I woke myself up, because I could tell somewhere in my
subconscience that I was becoming agitated.(and I really did
feel agitated, not being able to just walk out a doorway
into the sky below, but also having no other choice) At the
point between waking up and being totally awake it occurred
to me that maybe they werent actually dying...maybe they
were going on to something better....Then I was totally
awake sitting at the table in my room shaking, and confused.
Comments by Dreamer: The hallway was dark, and shadowy,
except for the doorways being nice and blue with clouds and
sky. All the women were exact clones of me..lines and lines
of them.
Permission Comments: Permission granted for any form of
guidance and constructive critism.
HOTELS [Temporary Dwelling or Special Event location]
JOURNEYS [Missions away from our home base -explorations]
** Dream: "Skyland" by Pine (990609) **
6/9/99 8:30AM
Last night I dreamt that I flew to the skyland with my
brother, for purpose of 'remembering'. We flew with the
power of a triangle that was held in our arms in front of
us. We landed in one building in the clouds, a royal court,
where Mom was. Then a window opened in the clouds so we
could see the happenings below. We saw the city below, and
a large oval green field as we drifted over it. Then it
began to rain little orange flags that stuck into the
clouds, and my brother and I had to hide from them. These
flags came to show us what was happening on earth. Then I
descended back to the earth, to the large oval green field.
I played football there with some friends.
Comments by Dreamer: After the dream I began to reflect on
the Bible passage that says something like: 'When the end
of the world comes, both Heaven and Earth will be
reconstructed'.
** Dream: "Engagement in London" by Banshee (990709)**
7/9/99 at approx. 7:30 AM EDT
In this dream, I am in London, England. (I have never
been there). I am with a man from there who is about my
age, tall, medium build, with loose, dark hair. He had a
goatee and was wearing a grey trench coat. I was about 23
or so, and looked much like I do in waking hours. I also had
a trenchcoat, but mine was beige or taupe.
We are walking down a tree-lined street on a brick or
cobblestone sidewalk. It had been raining, but wasn't then.
It was dark and foggy and the streetlights were on (they
were orange). We're talking, laughing, holding hands,
heading toward town. On the way, he turned our conversation
toward marriage. I asked him, "Are you serious?" and he
said, "I am if you are!" I replied "I hate that expression
because if you were serious and I was joking, then I would
leave you hanging." He responded "Well, I am serious." and
I said, "So am I."
We continued on our way to a mall. The mall was large
and high with stone walls. There were 3 stores, one
straight ahead, one left and one right. To get to the rest
of the mall, you must go through the store to the left. The
store on the right had a large, white sign above the doors
with the store's name (something with a B, Brian's perhaps?
I can't remember.)
To our immediate left is a small jewelry kiosk. Behind
the counter are a man and a woman, both impeccably dressed.
They address the man as Mr. (I can't remember his name.) He
tells them we are looking for a diamond engagement ring, but
they don't have any. They do have these rings that are
green stones (regular stones, not jewels) set in silver. We
decide to go look somewhere else.
And the I wake up.
I have never had a dream where I remembered so many details.
It was almost like I was really there. It has been plaguing
me ever since because I don't understand it.
Please e-mail me at LadyMorgan@webmail.netscape.com or post
comments here.
** Dream: "K's Adventures: The Axe Man & The Hungry Cat" by
Kly (990625) **
06/23/99 first must have been around 8-9, the other i woke
from around 9:45 or so.
I was in the army I think. My friend (in the dream)
and I were canoeing down this lake. It was dark out and the
water was calm. We were going to her apartment to get
something. When we got to shore, we pulled the boat in and
there was a huge canoe(fit like 30 people) and people were
already getting in, but the back was sinking down more than
it should. We were concerned that it wouldn't hold all of
us.
We went to her apartment and her landlord screwed her
because he just gave the apartment to someone else. The guy
let us in, he was from our military group. We sat down with
him, he was playing solitare and was telling us that his
girlfriend came to visit, but she was in the shower. I was
sitting at the table, but I was also watching her get ready
in the bathroom. She was throwing stuff around and ordering
him around, acting like a complete bitch. Then she came out
and saw us sitting there and started acting all nice and
innocent.
It skipped...now I'm trying to hide from somebody. Our
leader or someone went nuts and was trying to kill us all.
In a small country town, I was hiding inside a small motel
room. The guy that got my friends apartment was in the room
next to me, but he had his radio up loud and was giving away
his position. I looked around the room. It had lots of
windows, all the curtains were shut, but one on the side of
the room. He would be able to see me thru that, so I went
into the bathroom. Then he was in the room coming towards
the bathroom. He had an axe. He came in and attacked me
stabbing me over and over with his axe. It hurt, but the
axe wouldnt cut through my skin.
I woke up gasping for breath and had a sharp pain in my
chest. I fell back asleep within a minute and dreamt of
this: I was driving down the street to go to the store. I
stopped at a light and was going to turn right, but I was in
the left turn lane (this was normal in the dream). I looked
over to the left of me and there was a huge lion sitting in
the road (looked very real but was as big as a house), very
detailed). I thought it was very cool. I drove on and
stopped at a 7-11. I went in and saw 2 girls I used to hang
out with a lot. As I walked by I asked what they were up to
and they both ignored me. I watched one walk away and saw
all the things we'd done together and wondered what her
problem was. I let it go and got my stuff(a drink and gum)
back in the car. I'm at another stoplight in the left turn
lane. For some reason, I pulled up really close and on an
angle to the car in front of me, which was a light blue
bronco convertable with 4 girls inside. Behind me a little
way was another huge lion(extremely lifelike and huge). For
a second, I wondered if I should be scared, but the feeling
went away as quick as it came. It did scare the people
behind me, they stayed way back. There was a dark blue car
behind and to the right of me with no one in front of him.
Suddenly, the huge lion behind took off running to the left
of me up a hill. Right after that a huge leopard(spotted
wild cat, don't know which kind)ran out from in front of me
in a rage and attacked the dark blue car behing and to the
right of me. I turned in amazement and watched the cat
devour the whole car. It looked very real. I saw the
windsheild break and the wipers bend with the guy behind the
wheel in sheer terror. The cat ate the whole car. I turned
left, the people in front of me were gone. I looked to the
left and saw a baby lion(still huge) run down the hill and
roll over(happily) on the ground. Then the other lion that
ran off earlier came after it. They were next to each other
and I realized it was a mother and child. It made me very
happy to see this. I was driving home and was excited to
tell my parents about the happenings. I got home(wasn't
home, was an apartment) and my Mom, Dad and Grandma were
there. I wasn't so excited to tell them any more because I
knew they wouldn't understand it, but they were very excited
to hear what happened, so i told them that in the pack of
gum I had bought was a bunch of money hidden in the
pack(there was). There was a twenty and some ones. I think
there was another twenty too, but i didn't see it( my mom
was yelling at me a couple days before for losing 20 bucks
so I figure it had to do with that because I was saying I
got double what I lost). The whole dream was in night
time(most of mine are).
Comments by Dreamer: These were both very very vivid, and
felt extremely realistic, especially the cat one.
Permission Comments: Please send me your interpretations. I
haven't a clue as to what they are trying to tell me. I am a
female 21 years old. My e-mail is: etain@angelfire.com
Thank you.
** Dream: "Pilot Disaster" by Thirteenth Peer (990610)**
June 10 1999
The part I remember the most vividly is of leaving from
a sort of barracks where I had had close friends who stayed
there with me. We shared some unhappy circumstance as war
or plague, but at some point I woke to find my self
completely alone. I rushed outside and proceeded to an
airfield which seemed familiar to my dream me as if I was a
pilot.
There was a young lady standing near an oil drum fire.
She was dressed normally. My near panicked question was
whether she had seen any planes taking off. She said no,
but there was some sort of flatness to her expression that I
did not trust. It was not sinister though. The sky was
completely black and the earth was as if made of light sand.
I went hurriedly to some sort of rudimetary building of
corrogated aluminum with barbed wire around the top. There
was space around the top of the walls before the roof. I
intended somehow to break in though it was not quite wrong
for me to be there only wrong how I wanted to go in. I got
in and found with a sort of horror that my plane was not
there. I remember taking some sort of storage space open to
remove engine parts again unpleasantly surprised to find
they were not the right ones. Just as I am discovering
this, my comrades or friends begin to return in fighter
planes, but at the same time bombs start landing or perhaps
it was a plane or planes crashing and burning.
Later, I am in some sort of cafeteria standing before
an old woman, as if at inspection, but she is reaching out
and her hand brushes my cheek. She prophecies that I shall
recieve horrible disfiguration in sixty years at which point
there appears a tatoo in red and black on my right arm just
below the shoulder, and I realize somehow that the
disfigurement is somehow the same as that received by an
important friend at the barracks that I believe to now be
dead, and that the disfigurement is somehow shared or
perhaps a mark of guilt toward that friend or something.
** Dream: "Decisions" by HollyL (990601) **
June 1, 1999...am
The dream started somewhere out in the middle of
nowhere...green hills, dirt paths, stone rock formations...
reminded me of Stonehenge (though I've never been there). I
was walking up one of the dirt paths when I noticed a very
beautiful, very athletic woman killing a stranger and
laughing while she did it. I went up to her and asked her
why. She told me that it was because I wasn't involved in a
relationship with her and until I promised to be with her
(forever) she was going to keep killing people. She told me
that she had been in love with me for a long time and that
she hated waking up every morning without me (for the
record, I am a woman also). She laughed and then spelled
out the ultimatum: be with me as my lover, or be
responsible for the death of many people. At first there
was no decision...I told her that I would be with her. My
conscience wouldn't allow otherwise. So, we started a
relationship. We slept together immediately and I f! ! elt
very torn inside because I actually liked making love to
her- even though I couldn't help but think about the fact
that she was a murderer. Time seemed to go on...several
years passed. One day I was walking around some old homes,
which were made out of stone. They were probably old ruins
from a long ago civilization. I met a young boy, probably
around seven or eight years old, and befriended him. He had
no friends or family. I knew I had to introduce him to the
killer/my lover...and I felt awful about doing so. I was
afraid his young eyes would see only her beauty, nothing
else. I felt that if I ever told him the situation, he
wouldn't believe me. She was in fact so incredibly
beautiful (on the outside). How, I asked myself, could she
be so terrible on the inside. Finally the day came when I
decided that I had to leave her. She was unbearibly
suffocating and outrageously co-dependent. I felt like I
was dying inside. I couldn't make love to her anymore. I
couldn't even stand to look at her. Everything she did
pertained to me. She brought flowers, cooked elaborate
meals, wrote poetry about her love for me...basically she
breathed for me. She had to always be near me. I couldn't
stand her anymore; at all. I told the boy that we must
leave. Suprisingly he trusted me and chose to go with me
rather than stay with her. I met her at the top of a small
hill, the boy by my side, and said "I am leaving you, I
can't go on this way anymore." She smiled and said "you
can't, you know what I'll do!" I told her that I indeed was
aware of what she'd do, but I could no longer be responsible
for her actions. I told her that I felt awful about what
she was going to do, but I would no longer sacrifice my life
for others. I was dying. She looked down, toward the
bottom of the hill, and smiled. She pointed at a male
jogger who was coming up the hill and said "he'll be first".
I took the boy and began walking down the hill. I had to
pass the jogger. He smiled at me and said "good morning"
and continued running right toward her. I wanted to turn
around, knowing his fate, but I couldn't. I kept walking
and never looked back. She killed him and then starting
running after me and the boy. I took his hand and we fled
as fast as we could. We had to hide in the rooms of the old
ruins. The last thing I remember I was sweating and could
feel my heart beating very rapidly. I wasn't going to
change my mind. I woke up.
** Dream: "Rotting Souls" by VdeV (990511) **
February 23, 1999. fell asleep:11:30 pm awoke:6:20 am
The sky is very grey and it is mid-day. We are driving
along the road and there are pine trees on either side. I am
in a red car with my boyfriend Erik. We are following our
friends Tim and Holly in their blue car to a out of state
event. There seems to be no sound, eeire stillness. We
decide to pull off for a moment in this small town to get
gas and food. There is a plaza right off to the side of the
road so we pull off. There is a dollar store a Bp gas
station and a cinema, just seems odd because thats is all,
just trees around it. We get gas and food and go into the
dollar store. It seems normal in there, maybe a little too
much yellow light everythig looks kind of jaundice. I see a
very pretty but sad looking girl. She has shoulder length
hair and is very pale. She has a Family Dollar shirt on so I
can see she works there. She comes up to us and says, " you
have to leave here, you can't be here in this town today!"
she is very urgent and distraught. We oblige and leave but
decide to leave our cars just outside of town and sneek back
in to see why we had to leave. When we go back into the
town, if you can call it that, it is deserted. We think we
see some one over by a childs playset and go over. Again it
is eerily quiet, my friends never talk. As we approach the
play place we see that what we thought to be a person was
really a dead corpse of a child tied to the pole. As you can
imagine this is greatly disturbing to us. We walk along to
sidewalk to the family dollar entrence and in the window we
see that there are more dead childrens bodies all over. Some
look hundreds of years old and others only two or three. I
feel very ill in my stomache and i want to leave, but eriks
pulls me toward a dirt road with several tire tracks going
back it. We follow the road and it leads us to a cemetary.
There we find all the people of the town gathered around all
the children of the town. Slowly they are cutting the
children one by one and taking turns eating part of their
flesh. The children scream ove and over and i feel like i
want to cry. Some of the children die but others are sewn
shut hastliy by the women. here is a fire and the ground is
very wet. Someone, a man, sees us(by this time tim and holly
have dissappeared) and begins to chase us. Somehow we manage
to get away. We go back to the store a few hours later and
see the girl again. She is crying and sobbing heavily. I ask
her what is wrong and she statrs to leave the store, she
says to me," they sworn they'd never do it twice in a
lifetime." i am confused then she lifts her shirt to show a
badly sewn cut in her right side and a scar on her left. i
remember being very sad and wanting to go home. I woke up
after that.
Comments by Dreamer: This is by far the most disturbing
dream i've ever had.
** Dream:"Looking for something evil" by CinnamonG(990512)**
05/12/99 5:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.
Dream take place somewhere down south or southwest.
Somewhere like the Grand Canyon, my husband and I and a
couple of others are following, looking, chasing something;
and we keep running into something evil. The higher up we
climb the more dangerous it becomes. I'm scared but say
nothing. Some people tell me to stay w/them but I say I must
keep by my husband's side. Then husband tells me I must jump
and put a chute on me, again I'm scared but say nothing. The
rains come and start to flood. To go to higher grounds it is
believe we run into evil. No one is for sure, but I'm the
only one willing to take the chance. Then I wake.
Comments by Dreamer: Husband and I are divorcing. I notice
in dream he doesn't leave my side and I'm scared to leave
his, but yet I don't want to be with him.
Permission Comments: Would like to hear any comment on this
to better understand.
** Dream: "Get up & go out" by Keyogi (990519) **
5-19-99 10:00 am
My dream, as I remember, began with me visiting a
friend.I went to his apartment(I don't remember
traveling)when I arrived a girl I know that used to live in
his apartment was downstairs on the stairwell.I stopped and
she told me it was dirty up there.She asked if I had seen
what he has done to the apartment.I had no idea what she was
talking about.The next thing I remember is her sitting naked
beside me caressing me.(I was woke up by a phone call:
reality)When I went back to sleep I was dreaming again.I was
now at my fathers house with my girlfriend(not the same
girl).It seems that her and someone else I couldnt make out
were sitting on the bed I was laying on.It seemed as if they
were waking me up.i got up and felt very grogy.I told them I
wanted to go out.They said come on we were going.I was
stumbling around the room in a very drowsy state in search
of any stimuli that could wake me up.I told them "I need
something to wake me up"
Next my father walks into the room
and sits beside my girlfriend on my bed.I had no idea what
he was saying, but it seemed as if he was having an
enjoyable conversation with the other two people on the
bed.I then noticed my girlfriends breasts were exposed,but
she was kind of covering herself with her arms a little.I
made my way back to the bed and sat beside her.Sitting up I
felt a little more awake now.My father left the room.After
he left they told me he took a bong(waterpipe) from my
room.I pointed out all the pipes he did not take and we all
laughed.Next I remembergoing to some kind of bizarre.It was
a multi building and outdoor sale.I walked through the
vendors looking around a little with my girlfriend.I
remember being outside and someone came outside to tell me
and another girl that my mother wished to speak to us.My
girlfriend told the other girl(whom I thought was
attractive)that my mom just wanted to bitch and she might
never stop.Myself, my girlfriend and this other girl headed
towards the entrance of one of the buildings.On the way in I
stopped and picked up some gravel along the walk way.The
other girl also picked up a rock(a fist sized stone).We
walked in and saw my mom sitting at a bar like table full of
40ish types.On the bar were intracate small glass house oil
lamps like i have never seen.Like 30 of them together it
looked like a minirature picturesqe city.Meanwhile I saw the
other girl behind my mom motioning like she was going to
strike her with the rock.I dont know what happened in there
but I remember leaving with my girlfriend and going to look
for the car.While looking for the car a tall man in a
fedora(hat) that looked about 50 was walking toward us.He
snatched a newspaper out of my girlfriends hands and
exclaimed "what do we have here!"I answered "a newspaper,
who do you think you are?"
He answered "security! there could be drugs in this" I told
him we had been searching for our car for a couple hours
now, and how long have you been looking for someone to bust
ALL DAY!
Comments by Dreamer: I felt tremendous pressure in my head.
The phonecall that woke me up I remembered as a dream during
the dream, and spoke of it. I am a 23 year old artist.
Permission Comments: do what you like with this!!!
LOST [Disorientation or abandonment]
** Dream: "Peru" by Mr. Breeze (990703) **
july 1, '99, about 11:45 a.m.; after sleeping for 5 1/2
hours.
I am in Peru on a journey to Macchu Picchu. In a car in
my own vision of the stereotypical Latin American
neighborhood (lush vegetation, poor roads). I have no
direction and nothing to use as a guidepost, not even the
sun for the late afternoon heat-haze. I feel as if I'm near
the ocean. I pull up to a young woman who "looks" like she
speaks english. Lo and behold, she does. More people from
the neighborhood gather around the car speaking English and
Spanish. I can't really get any information on where I am or
where I want to go. At the same time, I start to sweat -- a
deep, real and vivid tropical fever sweat. The feverish
sweat and the tropical humid heat seeps into my center and
through me, but I feel no pain, nor fear. The feverish sweat
is almost hallucinatory, it is so vivid. I then regurgitate
a clear yellowish-green bile all over my hand and my lap,
but it doesn't hurt like a real-life vomit would. Asking
directions to Macchu Picchu -- part in Spanish, part in
English -- but nobody can give me a real answer. Suddenly
night falls and i am trying to figure out what to do, where
i am, and how to get to my destination.
** Dream: "I just don't know" by ? (990703) **
06/29/99 10:00am to 3:00pm
It was like a huge funhouse-type place. Like an
amusement park. There were lots of people, playing games and
such. Every so often someone would lose and disappear. Then
I disappeared. Then I was in the same place, but all the
people were gone, and everything was more dangerous. There
was a large hole, like a drain, and someone was hanging in
it, barely holding on. I knew if he slipped and went down,
if anyone did, then we would be lost forever. 2 crying girls
hauled him out and I noticed there were others appearing one
by one. I searched and found there was no way out except
through the hole. We weren't really trapped, we could walk,
or run, or swim, for forever. But we couldn't get back to
our world.
There was a blond man who took charge, telling us to do
this and that. I don't know if it was really necessary to do
these things, or if he wanted to keep us busy, so we
wouldn't get hysterical. We went into a room, and when he
opened the door, an identical man stood there. This man was
obviously "evil" and was the reason we were there. The evil
one laughed at us and said he hoped we would last longer
than the others. Then he was gone. I knew what we had to do
to get out, but no one would cooperate. Then they started
getting sucked into the hole. I tried to tie balloons to
them, to pull them out. It was too late. And I woke up.
** Dream: "Gypsie Dream" by MT (990513) **
The night of 20 April 1999
I had a dream last night and I was wondering if you could
help me to interpret it.
Firstly, I don't dream very often, and dream in colour.
In this dream, I was a refugee/gypsy, but I had a different
face (didn't look like my me). This was the same situation
with the rest of my family. I knew it was them but they all
had different faces. My father was there and he had actually
died twelve years ago. There was no no violence in this
dream. We were sitting around a gypsie-like campsite. There
were horses and camp fires. We were just sitting there
talking and having a beer.
To me it's such a weird dream, that I would love somebody to
explain it to me. Any ides?
Best Regards
LOTTERY DREAMS [Sudden Wealth - Randomness favors the
dreamer]
LOVE [All around us, yet so hard to find and keep]
LUCID DREAMING [Knowing you are Dreaming when you are
Dreaming]
** Dream:"I found myself, and woke him up!" by Michael
(990609) **
I found myself, and woke him up!
I was in a small room with a bed. I saw myself asleep on
that bed. I could hear Don Juan telling Carlos, "If you
meet your double face to face, you will die." This thought
made me extremely lucid. I leaned over and whispered to him
(me): "You're dreaming" - and I woke him up! He stood up
and we looked into each other's eyes. I had a tremendous
urge to accomplish some great feat with him - I'm not sure
what. And I lost it in the details...
Many times what triggers my lucidity is (what I thought was)
myself, saying "you're dreaming". Perhaps my double dreams
of finding his double (me), and whispers "you're
dreaming"...
Can there be a real dreamer, when we both are the dreamed?
You may do with this as you please, Michael
** Dream: "waking from a lucid dream into another dream" by
Adridne (990608) **
The dream begins with me driving my car. I'm in my
senior prom dress (a wedding dress I converted to a prom
dress, very formal) and I'm driving to school. I realize
how absurd this is, to be driving to school in a wedding
dress, but I can't stop. at this point, I lose control of
my actions, something that has never happened to me in a
dream before. I just keep driving to school, no matter how
much I want to turn around. here, I realize I'm dreaming
and decide to just go with it. I drive to school, park, and
go into the school. only it isn't school, I walk into a
chapel, one with stained glass windows, but only fog for
walls. it is bright in front of me, but dark behind me,
everyone turns around to look at me. I realize I'm walking
down the aisle of a chapel in a wedding dress. this isn't
school, it's a wedding, and I'm the unsuspecting bride. I
feel someone (the bridegroom) behind me, and I turn, as I
turn, though, I fall, and the man behind m! ! e catches me.
he is wearing some kind of mask, a close fitting one. there
is something vaguely threatening and possessive about the
way he catches me. at this point I wake up. or I think I
do, but it's really just another dream. I'm driving, the
driving part of the previous dream had been real, I had been
driving in my sleep, in my prom/wedding dress. I go under
an underpass and start to panic, but I'm right by my
boyfriend's house, so I went there and went inside and
talked to him and calmed down, then I went home, because I
realize my mom will be furious. at when I go home, it isn't
really home, it's a cabin we're staying in while I'm
visiting Hampshire college (which I now attend)very strange
architecture. very strange. almost entirely wood. I go
about visiting the college for the rest of the day, the
dream fades and I wake up.
I'm prone to fairly strange dreams, some of them lucid,
but I usually do not wake from a lucid dream to another
dream. although, I have been dreaming, realized I was
dreaming, and then proceeded to have an argument with
someone in the dram about whether or not I was dreaming,
then been convinced I was not.
MEMORY [Remembering ...In dreams we often struggle with the
issue of memories and remembering a dream which by
definition involves the process of recollection.]
MIRRORS [Reflection of Self]
MONEY [Something of value]
MUSIC [Melodies of the land within]
NUDITY [What you see is what you get]
** Dream: "Eagle Eye" by Canoraline (9904XX) **
04/99 at night
I was lying naked on a small area of beach. The beach
was triangular in shape and surronded by huge rock cliffs
that extended higher than I could see. Everything about the
dream was very clear, and clean. The water was calm. The
sand was white and the sky was clear. I then saw an eagle
soaring through the sky and towards me. I didn't see the
eagle land next to me , but there it was, sitting in front
of me looking me clear in the eye. I could see every detail
of its eyes. The eagle then started to clean my hair by
gently pecking at me. The eagle was crawling all around me
and this is when I woke up.
Comments by Dreamer: Eagles hold a sacred place in my heart.
The feelings in my dream were unreal. Everything felt
perfectly calm and peaceful.
PERFORMERS [Entertainers]
PROBLEMS [Situations or difficulties sometimes present
choices]
POLITICAL SCENE [Public issues through positions of power]
RELATIONSHIPS [Other parts of ourselves including family
which constitutes the first and earliest of our
relationships, often influencing how we relate to the
outside world]
** Dream: Nada's Dreams" by Nada (990614) **
Hi Bob, My name is Nada and Ive been keeping a dream
journal for a couple years now. I'd like to share a couple
of dreams with you.
The dream that caught my attention the most this year
was a dream of me traveling in some sort of elevator, kind
of thing back and forth between Heaven and Hell. Whenever I
go up in the elevator kind of thing, I go really quickly to
Heaven and then where I spend a matter of seconds in feeling
confused because in a way I'm still in the elevator and not
coming out exploring around me. Then after a very short
period of time, I drop in the elevator going down to Hell
and I see colors of like whitish blueish thunder as I travel
down to Hell and feel my body shaking since the elevator is
traveling at high speed as if like a roller coaster and as I
go to heaven, the thunder thing turns into a different color
than that of when i go go Hell.
The whole time I'm on this ride between Hell and
Heaven, I see God communicating with me as if asking me
questions or testing me. If I sin, I go to Hell; and if I'm
good, I go back up to Heaven. It goes on back and forth and
the strange thing was that God was in the form of a really
good looking man, and I felt love towards Him as well as
fear.
And there was a point in the dream when I touched God's
arm because His skin looked unlike humans skin, instead it
looked whitish plastery, and it was beautiful to me and I
was amazed...something that startled me the most was the
time of the dream when I kissed God (he was still in the
form of a really good looking man) because I was in love
with him.
Anyway, as I awoke from this dream, I still saw vivid
colors of transition between heaven and hell, and I was
shaking in the elevator like crazy. I felt that weird
feeling in my stomach which I feel when I'm on a roller
coaster, and I was sweating majorly as well...it took me a
while to snap out of it and move my body.
Whoa, sorry, that was a long explaination of my dream.
I thought maybe this is a dream having to do with how I am
so dedicated to God in my life, and I have not been in love
yet, and the only "one" I loved was God. I guess that's it.
Do you think there was a special message in this dream or
was it too confusing to tell from?
I have had many dreams of which I feel my body still
taken over even a minute after I wake up...like I felt the
pain of an injection in my thigh still jamming as i woke up
before...and a dream that was recurrent at times and wasn't
very pleasant, was that I was lying in my bed and pretty
sure that some kind of little furry creature like a rat or
something was either touching me near my face or peeing
while sitting in my pjs!! I felt this so clearly as if it
were real, even after I woke up. I still felt the fur and
the warm pee, but when I searched for the creature and its
pee later on, after a couple minutes, they are gone. I
suppose those are hallucinations, but what do they mean?!
Ok now for the last dream. I have in the past dreamt a lot
of my dead grandma, who was the only grandparent I knew. I
had dreamt that she had come back to visit even though she
has been dead. She sat down with me and my mom at a coffee
shop, and we were letting her listen to all the songs she
missed while she was away. This dream was pretty common to
me since I dreamt of this grandma relatively lots and these
dreams had taken place last year. But a really uncommon
dream was a dream i dreamt this year about my other grandma
who I have never known because she died when I was only a
couple months old. I dreamt that there was a family
gathering in a big tent, and i was sitting on this grandma's
lap and all of us were telling her all the news she had
missed in the past 17 years! (im 17 btw)
This dream just came from out of the blue, and I don't
understand why. My classmate friends kept appearing in this
dream near the tent as well, so it was a kind of unorganized
dream. But what could it possibly mean? The night before or
the night after this dream, I dreamt of my other grandma who
was walking around my relatives house in either Canada or
Virginia (the setting kept switching). She was acting very
unlike her personality, she was being irritable and bitchy
(maybe she was in a form of a ghost). When I slammed the
bathroom door she screamed at me as my father usually would
(shes my mom's mom though), which was very wierd because
that's sooo unlike her. When she was alive, she never
screamed at me. She was always quite pleasant.
So why do u think i dreamt of two dead people two
nights in a row? Especially the grandma I didnt know and
whom I was sitting on the lap of? I'm sorry this email is
sooo long, but I'm really interested in anything u could
comment about them. Thank you, Sincerely, Nada
** Dream: "The husband" by Maja (990717) **
I am standing just infront of the fridge in the
kitchen. I'm standing in front of the open fridge door and
there is also my husband. I'm saying to him: "I want to
divorce you, and you know why I do." After this, my husband
is standing on top of a hill at the roadside, telling me
this.." are you aware of that you are smelling bad and that
your surrounding also notice this and the smell are spread
more and more around you?" I was feeling very sad,hurt and
bitter in the dream.
Comments by Dreamer: I had a bad quarrel with him some days
ago, maybe this dream is telling something about that?
** Dream: "future husband" by Juliet(990708)**
I had a dream that I was at a huge costume party, but
it had all taken place a long time ago. I came dressed as
Titania, the queen of faires from Shakespears "Midsummer's
Night Dream". As soon as I entered, a voice spoke to me
from a shining light. It told me my furture husband was at
this party, and he was dressed in a sparkling cape. I was
afraid and since this was such a big house, I ran up a large
flight of stairs, and into a walk-in-closet to my left. Once
inside, I closed the door. Then the light appeared again
and assured me not to be afraid, and it gave me a vision of
my future husband, but I could not see his face so I did not
know who it was. The light told me it was someone I knew
and that he was dresssed as Oberon, the King of Faires from
Shakepeare's "Midsummer's Night Dream". It told me to go
back downstairs. I listened, and when down there, I began
to search for Oberon. I found him sitting next to a fire. I
tapped him on the back, and he turned around, and it was my
ex-boyfriend whom I still have feelings for. He kissed me,
and then I woke up.
Comments by Dreamer: I know for a fact that my ex-boyfriend
still has feelings for me too. Could this be a predictition
that we will marry or at least get back together? What did
the light represent?
** Dream: "Danny" by Cass (990715) **
Well, my friend knows how much I still love my ex-boyfriend
and she calls him and talks with him. He comes over my house
and we end up kissing. We start dating, but I have this
weird feeling. Like I'm scared or distracted or something
like that. We go to a movie and make out but it feels so
strange.
** Dream: "Misunderstanding Resolved" by Nissa (990627) **
6-25 4:00a.m.
My friend and I had a kind of misunderstanding. It
wasn't a fight, because she said something that ticked me
off, and I walked away so I wouldn't say something I'd
regret. About a month later, I dreamt that we made up and
were really happy about it. Does this mean I should call
her?
** Dream: "The Rainwater Room" by Na (990622) **
19JUN99/5:30-6:30am?
Background - earlier that evening, I was on a first date
with a man I had met a week earlier. The man is in my dream
- coincidentally?
The man from my date is in a small room in a house that
is supposed to be my own. One wall in the room is covered
with planks, like the siding on the outside of a house.
There is a small iron bed against the wall. The man is
standing by the bed. He is garbed in dingy white shirt and
pants, sort of rumpled. Pajamas? The bedsheets are dingy
gray-white. The wall is dingy white with the high gloss
paint on the planking thick and rippled. There is dirt in
the ripples as if this was once an exposed external wall.
The ceiling is a dingy white. I enter from a clean, if
spartan room with unfinished hardwood floors and a window
bright with glowing sunlight. My room connects to the man's
room through a tiny 'foyer' or hall.
I go to his room because he had called or came to get
me, to show me that it was raining very hard outside. I can
see my dry room while standing in the wet room. I am a
little annoyed to find that water is streaming into this
room. The floor and walls are glistening wet. Above the
bed, the planked wall has sprung a leak and clear rainwater
is streaming down the horizontal planks onto the bed,
soaking the mattress. At first, I am concerned about where
the man will sleep. He does not care about the wet mattress,
but is concerned about the water streaming onto the bed. I
assure him that I can take care of that. I begin applying a
dirty, dingy caulk to holes that suddenly become apparent in
the planked wall. The caulking is dirtier than the rippled
paint and I'm concerned that when it dries, it will not
blend in. I get some of the smaller holes filled but the
larger ones (where did so many holes come from?) have so
much water flowing through that the caulk is pushed out. I
am determined to fix my home, and frantically try to fill
the holes. The man recedes out of the room.
All I remember of him are his words - him saying that
he could still sleep on the mattress and my reaction, of
distaste, that I could not sleep in such a bed. But he is
my guest, and I'm concerned that he be able to sleep at all.
So I'm trying desperately to patch the holes. And then I
wake.
RELIGIOUS RELATED [The Ritual and the Spiritual]
** Dream: "birth of the Christ" by rc-r (990426) **
I dreamt I was stacking cold hard trendy metallic tables in
storage, as if preparing for something.
Then I was in a dark tubular void with a camera panning from
my feet upwards over my body. It was "scanning" me. As it
reached my knees I called out "stop". I was perturbed
because the part of my body that had been scanned had turned
into bright 1960 colours and patterns -yellow, green, pink,
orange...paisley! I called out "I am being turned inside
out.
Next I am writing notes on paper. I am taking notes from two
aluminium like tablets with hieroglyphic writing on them. I
am note taking to give the information to the virgin Mary. I
say "don't interrupt me, I am preparing for the birth of
the Christ".
The virgin Mary is a young naive looking girl standing over
in the corner...Joseph is with her, but both seem like
"dumb" teenagers to me. I think, "gee if only the world knew
what they were really like" -it was as if unless I got the
information to them the birth would not occur.
dream ends. (note: I am not Christian, nor am I pregnant)
** Dream: "Manna flakes" by ? (990530) **
July 1996
I was at a church that had people from my congregation
there, but it was not the church we normally attend. There
were people going to and fro, and many I did not know. The
building was 3 stories high and built like a circular
theater. I noticed smoke on the 1st floor and discovered
that the building was on fire. I ran up to the top floor and
told people what was up. Some choose to ignore me and others
left in a hurry. The fire was growing, and I descended to
the next level to continue to sound the alarm. Many people
left the building and waited outside near the fire trucks.
What appeared to be angels flowing in the sky above us
started dropping down these flakes. We could see them
falling but could not touch them. The flakes fell on top of
me and others, and were absorbed inside of us.
Comments by Dreamer: I believe this has some spiritual
meaning.
Permission Comments: Comments are more than welcome.
** Dream: "Jesus" by Kit (990507) **
May 6, 1:30 a.m.
I dreamed I was in love with Jesus and he was in love
with me. Every year he would come into my village and stay.
The end of his stay would happen with a man would come into
a main courtyard of the village and display a painting with
men and women in the village including Jesus. Then Jesus,
as I would cry, would kiss me goodbye and walk into the
ocean with the people in the painting. He told me that he
was taking them to heaven. People in the courtyard would
taunt him and our friends. One year he came in and shortly
after we got word that the man was in the courtyard with a
new painting. I started crying, but Jesus and I walked down
to see it. Jesus wasn't on there. I was so happy! I
thought that Jesus and I could marry. He told me that he
was going with his friends for a while and I kissed him. I
was standing with my friends, when a man walked up to me and
handed me a piece a paper. On the paper, was Jesus' picture
and it said "For his head, $100,000 or 8,000 slaves."
I went to find Jesus who was in a room in what looked
like a hotel sitting on the floor with his friends. I was
crying and he carressed my face and asked what was wrong. I
showed him the paper and he looked at it for a while. Then
he said that he knew this was coming. I was still crying
and I asked him how he could know something like this and
not tell me. He grabbed me by my hand and led me to a
church that was circle and had no roof. The seats were
arranged in a circle and there was a grass clearing in the
center. As we walked to the center, Birds of all kinds flew
in all around us. And I was begging him to stay. I told him
that I would run away with him. I could tell that he wanted
to stay, but he said, "I just have to do this." I stood
there crying and I woke up.
ROMANCE [Thrills and Chills, lost in another]
** Dream: "Jadzia" by ? (990602) **
May, 99
The dream features me and two men I am attracted to and
carry a great degree of love for. I am not seeing either of
these men, but have equal potential for both, but have been
very confused about them. So in the dream I was in the
shower with one of them...Kevin. We were kissing and things
were getting passionate and all the sudden he stopped and
said, "I hope you don't mind." I looked over his shoulder
and there was a mirror there. In the mirror I could see the
other man, Duane, reflected. In his eyes I could see he
wanted to be with me...to come into the shower with me.
Kevin was indifferent and returned to kissing me, as I
stared into the reflection at Duane. The last thing I saw
before waking was Duane's eyes as he began to take his
clothes off.
** Dream: "friend" by La'Sar (990703) **
june 23,1999 2:30 am
I was in my room kissing my guy friend, who I have a
major crush on. We were really getting into the moment when
all of a sudden my grandmother pulls up. I push him of my
bed onto the side to hide him. My grandmother comes in my
room to tell me she forgot something, and she came back to
get it. When she was about to leave the room, my friend
said: "Is she gone?" I tried to say something loud so she
wouldn't hear him, but she did. Right after that, I had
another dream about the same guy, but this time we were at
his house and everytime we tried to get close to one another
someone called or knocked on the door.
Comments by Dreamer: I wrote a letter to him telling him I
liked him before he told me he really liked me too, but he
had a girlriend in another school. When I woke up, I was
angry I didn't get spend time with him.
SCHOOL THEMES [Learning and learning related trials]
SOLUTIONS [The answers to problems or quandaries]
STAIRS [Bridges between levels, between the upper and the
lower]
STRANGERS [Who and what we don't know yet]
TEETH [Ok, losing teeth is one of the top ten dreams people
have questions on. Theories on what they mean range all over
the spectrum of possibilities.]
TORNADOS [Pretty well defined destructive power of nature]
TRAPPED [Temporarily helpless- Sometimes we are paralyzed or
imprisoned by jobs, relationships or expectations]
** Dream: "Long Way From Home" by Homeward Bound(990426)**
I dreamed that I was bicycling home from a house. It
was an ordinary house and two guys lived there. (I don't
know these guys in real life but they are familiar to me.
Like I have seen them before). One guy had long brown hair.
The other was a guy that I dreamed about, I know I have seen
him at the bowling alley that my sister works at. He is
probably in his 40's. The guy with the long hair was my age
I think. I had a backpack on my back while I was on the
bike. I am not sure what was in it. I remember being on a
long road and it was getting to be near nighttime. The road
was a straight road, but not a highway. The road had traffic
lights on it, and I could see various buildings on both
sides. Like a two-lane business street with shops. It was
however, a pretty quiet road. There were no people walking
around. I know I felt that I was a long way from my home. In
my dream, I realized that I was traveling the wrong way. I
was on the wrong road and even th! ! ough I had a light for
riding at night, and reflectors, I thought it was too
dangerous to keep riding home at this point. I turned around
and went back to the house I came from. By this time it was
dark outside. When I went inside, I told the guys what
happened and that I thought I should wait until morning
before going home because it would be safer. I remember
giving a pack of Marlboro Lt. Cigarettes to the younger guy.
It was a full pack. I told them I didn't use them. (In real
life, I had quit smoking in January.) I also recall that the
road I was biking on had a road that you could turn onto on
the right shoulder. It was not a two-way road. You could
only go up it. It was a wide one way, one lane road. It was
a long road and it was darker over that road than the one I
was on. Like the sky was darker, or the night was later over
that road. It wasn't spooky but it did not feel like I
should go on that road at night. It was 400. That was the
name of the road. I saw the name of it on a green highway
sign that hung over of the road. I also remember that as it
got darker, more cars were on the road I was on and it was
not as quiet.
Comments by Dreamer: I have been on medical leave with
my current job for almost a year now. Since I have to go on
leave, I had to move home with my parents since I could not
afford to live on my own. They are in a different state than
I was living in. I hate being here and I have been here for
a long time now. I was getting ready to resume my job again,
but my medical condition may have come back and now my car
is no longer running properly. It is like all these unknown
forces are keeping here in this place I hate being! I am 29
and just want my life back. I want to be on my own again.
Does this dream reflect any clues as to why obstacles keep
getting in my way from leaving here?
** Dream: "prisoner of the state" by stan kulikowski ii
(990622) **
DATE: 22 jun 1999 06:51
DREAM : prisoner of the state
=( last night i did not get back from school until after
23:00. some former students way laid me in the computer lab
to help with a programming problem. they had horrible
messed up code on a linked list of pointers. it took a
while to understand their convoluted attempts and explain
why their data was lost. eventually i got their code
working, but i just gutted their insort procedure and
kludged in some processing loops. one student kept saying
'if it works, what does it matter?' when i mentioned
inelegance. i hoped they could learn from that but i did
not have time to reteach them data structures. mom and i
watched a cheap B movie on time travel and i went to sleep
early, around 01:30 without much difficulty. )=
anne said she found the gun in a box under the seat of the
van when she went to get the weekly groceries. probably a
guard had left it there by mistake as none of us prisoners
are allowed to drive the van. she was looking for her small
umbrella under the seat when she discovered the weapon.
immediately she began to convince the rest of us that now
was the time to make a break.
the springfield street house where we live is a minimal
security prison. a half way house where we are permitted
live and serve out our sentences in labor for the state and
the penal system. the work we do in not that challenging,
like cleaning public toilets of their disgusting filth with
hand brushes. the smell of those places never quite goes
away once you have spent hours scrubbing on your knees.
since i am a computer scientist, another job i am given
from time to time is algorithmic repair of the defense dome.
the battle robots are constantly trying to complete the
geodesic dome which arches above the city and surrounding
county. it does not matter where they start, they can
always get the thin rafters in place to cover just slightly
less than half of the precinct when the structure starts to
weaken and fail. then they have to tear down what they have
built and start afresh on different pylons with a different
pattern to the arch. several squads of robots are always
building the construction from several starting points, some
here around the city, others across the river. the robots
are continually patrolling the incomplete structure in the
sky above the buildings. they can barely be seen from
ground level. since i work on their programming, i know
that their intelligence was engineered so that they can
never complete the dome. they keep constantly in motion in
trying. most of the repairs i have to do concern removing
learned connections if their architecture gets too solid so
as to encroach the midsky limit by chance or design. they
must be kept in a constant state of flux by an unsolvable
problem to prevent their actions from becoming predictable.
this is the only way to solve the problem of
pseudorandomness, like a law of thermodynamics. machines
always become fixed in routine given time in self
maintenance. this is a strategic weakness in battle drones
which can be eventually analyzed and defeated when the worn
groove of their routines becomes predictable. i would as
soon clean the smegma crusted urinals as mend the off
balanced neural nets of the robots.
but prisoners of the state only get scutwork. no one else
would do it, even for minimal wage and robots cost even
more. i can not even remember what my original crime was.
some minor infraction of an unheard of regulation, but being
a tourist was no consequence. that ignorance is no defense
of the law is one of the stupidest maxims we are taught.
how can we obey laws we have never heard of, or even guess
at their exsitence? with busy legislatures constantly
making new regulations, it is impossible for anyone to know
the law. this is the defining principle of a police state.
we live at the mercy of which unknown regulations get
enforced and how aware we are of them. like god, we can
never know the law we are held accountable to. for me, it
was five years detention in the springfield street holding
facility. i am only two years through.
anne says that once we get the van out from under the
defense net and on the open interstate, we can make it to
the next country where extradition is not given for minor
crimes. she is convincing. six of us agree to make a run
for it.
hot wiring the guard van is no problem. as we begin to
drive several blocks through city traffic, i decide to look
closely at this gun which is the impetus for this breakout.
i do not think that any of these people would actually
threaten anyone with this weapon, let alone fire it. so why
is this mere symbol of power so potent in causing us to
consider a prison break? from my pocket i pull out a swiss
army knife that has a torx wrench attachment. i start to
work on removing the five bolts which join the halves of the
heavy weapon.
at first the wrench will not turn the bolt, being one size
too small. but i am able to lever it at an angle to get the
bolt to turn a degree or two. to my surprise all five bolts
turn uniformly when i turn just the one. this makes removal
very easy once i get the initial one going. when i separate
the gun casing. the barrel, magazine track and trigger come
apart. what is all this small wiring inside? looking
closely i find the handle of the gun has a bundle of copper
coiled up which is attached to printed board circuitry. i
look at several of the condenser and diode packs. one of
them is labeled TRNSMTTR.
"damn. this gun has a radio bug in it." i tell the
others, cutting the antenna and several of the board
components. it is about ten seconds before the dopplered
alarms can be heard as the defense droids rain down from the
sky, surrounding the van which stalled almost immediately
when the gun signal cut off. we had only gone about twelve
blocks.
we are quickly pushed into a nearby building where a police
lieutenant sits with a smirk on his face. "you did not make
it half as far as we thought you would." he tells us.
"good work, anne. your sentence has been reduced by six
months. the rest of you get an additional five years in
moderate security. be glad your escape was short circuited.
if you had made it outside the defense dome where we
expected you, it would have been ten years. report to the
clarkson street holding facility."
as quickly as that the police action has been logged and
they begin to break up, the robots filing off toward the
base of the sky dome. "but i do not even know where
clarkson street is." i say.
"don't worry. you will find by sun down or face a step
toward maximum security." replies the policeman. clearly
he would get a merit pay raise if any of us eventually
upgrade from moderate to dangerous security. anne seems
pleased with herself. moderate security does not have mixed
sex living arrangements which may be a benefit here. i
guess women learn the skills of entrapment as soon as they
realize they can not compete in the league of strength. it
is harder for men to learn this as we have to test ourselves
against each other before the pecking order gets established
and it becomes clear that there is always someone stronger.
i start walking down the street towards the small business
zone of the city where i think clarkson street must be. now
that i have learned the lessons of minimum security, i feel
like i have graduated to the next level beyond private
enterprise. the springfield street facility was in the
residential zone, and now my life will come into the
commercial stream where endeavor in valued in profit margins
rather than utility.
as i am thinking about this, i see my high school friend,
porter welbourne, walking on the sidewalk across the street.
i do not wave, but i can see that he has noticed me. for a
moment i hope that he will take word of my presence in the
police state back to friends who can sue for my release
through legal means. but then i see that he has a hair
piece attached to the back of his head. it is a long
braided pig tail to simulate the cossack warrior braid, worn
to facilitate the handling of your severed head after a
battle. this is the badge of a consultant to police
internal affairs. i hide my disappointment and walk on
toward my destiny on clarkson street.
i find that clarkson street is only one block long, at an
angle to the city street grid. the buildings are all two
story red brick, built into each other without even an alley
between. i assume that the holding facility is on the
second floor above the firehouse on the corner. perhaps i
am to be a fireman in this incarnation of the penal system.
this area of town looks rather oriented to street life
having nothing to recommend it for private interiors nor
private lives.
i feel someone grab my leg below the knee. i look down to
discover that a young child, hardly more than a toddler.
she is looking up and saying "daddy? daddy?" her skin is a
lovely chocolate brown color, but her shoulder length hair
is platinum blonde, a startling contrast. cold blue eyes.
must be one of the engineered mutant children. "no, i am
not your daddy." i tell her as i extract her bear hug on
me. a worried mother is running from across the street. i
am careful not to appear dangerous after my recent upgrade
from minimal security.
poor kid. this is the world she has been bred for.
prisoner of the genome, no chance even from birth. am i so
different, i wonder.
=( i wake easily at 06:30 without the alarm. it seems to me
that the repair of the geodesic dome by the robots actually
started on the far side of the river across from the town in
an earlier dream which i could not recall well enough to
include here. i think my original crime was explaining to
the robots how geodesic structure is achieved and they were
fascinated. i do not have many associations with this
in-city dream content. i recall that i did not teach the
section on random generators very well a couple weeks ago in
one of my programming classes, so perhaps that figured into
the robotics work here. )=
stankuli@gulf.net
. i swear it happened just like this:
=== a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss,
| | and the gates of love, they budged an inch,
--- but nothing much has happened since.
-- l cohen (1992) closing time
VEHICLES [Means of transportation, reflection of lifestyle]
** Dream: "Lost My Car in a Big Place" by Lost or Something
Else? (990507) **
May 7, just before waking:
I have periodically had this dream before, maybe once
or twice:
I am driving down a road. When I arrive at my
destination, I pull into the parking lot and park on the
side of the building. I go into the building and conduct my
business (I don't know whether it is personal or work
business, and it doesn't seem to matter to the dream). When
I leave the building to go to my car, the area where I
thought I left my car looks totally different and my car is
not there. I have the feeling that I must have taken a
wrong turn.
I retrace my steps, but do not arrive at my most recent
starting point (i.e., the place I just left after conducting
my business), but encounter a totally new environ. I have a
feeling the same as if I were to walk out of the front door
of my house, and when I turn around to reenter I am not
facing the inside of my house, but perhaps the inside of a
church or the beginning of a trail through a forest.
In this dream, each time I turned around to retrace my
steps I encountered either a pleasant or unpleasant new
scene - a pleasant farm auction, an unpleasant spooky house,
a neither pleasant nor unpleasant industrial setting, a
pleasant antique show, etc.
The anxiety in the dream centered not on the new places
in which I found myself, rather on the frustration and
anxiety of not being able to find my car, and perhaps to a
degree some concern over not being able to orient myself.
I awoke from the dream with mixed feelings. Anxiety at
the twists and turns the dream took, but pleasure and
comfort in some of the scenes I had encountered.
Comments by Dreamer: I've had several stressors this week
in both work and my personal life. The stress I was
experiencing the evening before the dream was an upcoming
first date on Friday, with several unreturned phone messages
to my supposed date. Common sense tells me the date is
still on, but anxiety leaves me feeling I'll be stood up.
** Dream: "The 650 beemer" by stan kulikowski ii (990525) **
<stankuli@pcola.gulf.net>
DATE : 25 may 1999 05:12
DREAM : the 650 beemer
=( i taught my programming course, the late evening course.
did not get home until 21:45. just caught the end of
_cleopatra_ movie. made myself a sandwich and watched _back
to the future 2_ on video tape. went to bed around midnight
and read _the stainless steel rat_ until about 02:00. had
no trouble getting to sleep. )=
it feels good to be riding on my 650 cc bmw cruiser. the
black polished metal of the gas tank between my legs, the
chrome streak of the handle bars coming up to where my hands
are twisting the grip and levers to squeeze the juice into
the engine. the deep bup bup bup of those exhaust pipes
that seems to go on forever as the landscape glides by
dissolving in the constant blur of motion. yes, nothing
feels as good riding the bmw.
but eventually even the eternal has to change. i come
through the pine forest to the little unpaved lane that
leads back to the church. reluctantly i pull the bike over
to the side, put down the kick stand, and switch off the
key. the bmw stops its life, not like something dying which
struggles to live for more breath, but the bike just stops
like its death is just as natural and as common as its
animation. perhaps it is. i get off the motorcycle with
some regret.
the church is a little pine building in a little pine
forest. many parishioners, perhaps thirty in all, are
already gathered up in the pews inside. singing nearer my
god to thee mostly off key and flat, but god doesn't seem to
care how good or how poor the music is. god just wants the
music and the faith and the worship. he must not have
enough from the angels and the deceased souls. he always
likes more.
every one looks at me as i try to slip into a pew well over
on the side by the wall, but the place is much too small and
too simple for anyone to be unnoticed. i do not like to
sing but will join when someone is looking my way. today
everyone is here to listen to my report on my trip to
australia. they are going to be disappointed. god was
there just like he is here. never really directly there,
just always somewhere on the edges of experience, just over
the line where we can not sense him directly but surely just
there, breathing heavily and watching everything we do or
even think. like moby dick, we search and search for god,
always believing he is near, but never seeing him face to
face like real things. giving him total credit for anything
good that happens in our lives and crying 'why god why' when
something bad happens. and god never shows himself direct
except maybe to some primitive nomads thousands of years
gone, or maybe when we have crossed over into death
ourselves like that great white whale come to ahab only when
he is out on the water too far to get back to ship. who can
tell when only the dead can see god direct? maybe even they
don't.
well, when the singing is done, they ask me to tell them
about the presence of the divine in australia, and i start
in on the tale of the white whale. at first everyone
listens really close but little by little i can see them one
by one start thinking other things than what i say. it must
be that anything i can report about deity down under is
mostly contained in the first few syllables and leaks out
quickly. very soon everyone is satisfied that what we do
not see of god up here is just like what they do not see
down there. and that is how it should be. omnipresence
means just the same everywhere. it would be difficult if
there were a mountain somewhere where heaven was closer,
more real than anywhere else. they seem to like it when i
chant a little sea ditty i learned from quequake, but the
few who stay listening more intently than the others are not
happy with me. they want me to reaffirm what they believe
and instead i am talking about some big albino fish and
nautical lore. clearly there is some sacrilege in
discussing the meaning of life with a cetacean.
as displeased as the bright ones are and disinterested as
the rest, i finish my report on oz and get up to leave. a
few mumble polite words of thanks without any thought. my
legs are not well coordinated as i get up.
rather than think of anything to repair my reputation with
these church folk, i step outside the building and find a
cut stump that i can stand on. this allows me to reach the
several strands of plastic clothes line that are stretched
through the trees overhead. no one does laundry here, just
the lines have been strung up so the children at vacation
bible school can hang their crayon pictures of the good
things their parents like to see. i can not fashion a noose
from any of the clothes lines, but i can clench one taunt
wire under my chin and step off the log to hang by my neck.
it feels good in that moment of stepping off the stump.
the wire bites briefly into my throat so i can not inhale.
there is no pressure in back to break the neck but i do not
mind. the slower way of suffocating is just as good as the
faster way of spinal cord separation. i really do not care
about dying, i just mean to reaffirm life by leaving it.
who cares if this is not exactly sensible to the
congregation inside? it is my life and my motorcycle and my
white whale. let them find their own way to that place
where moby dick finally rushes headlong straight at you,
opening his blunt toothed mouth. no more hiding or seeking.
there is no despair or resignation, just the intrigue of
expectation for the tunnel of light.
i do not know what i expected, but you can not hang
yourself on a clothes line. after a brief sensation of
strangulation the line bounces back upwards. like a bow
string, i find myself being shot away upwards like arrow.
man, am i disappointed as i sail past the windows on the
side of the church.
and down the hillside. through the trees trunks, sliding
and rolling and sliding. sometime on my back, sometime on
my face. it seems to go on forever. i keep sliding and
sliding and sliding. does this slope go on forever? my
cheekbone hits a rock. my back bounces off a pine. perhaps
this is just as good as hanging. i start to enjoy the feel
of skidding into things as the rush downward continues.
sadly, i notice the velocity start to diminish slightly, but
like zeno's paradox, half a reduction still leaves half. i
slide out of the forest hillside into the fields. with the
last of my inertia, i see some children. at least i see
their shoes as i skid by them. why can't i look up and see
their faces?
finally i stop with my shoulder against the last tree. i
was hoping the motion would go on forever. but everything
changes eventually. so here i am, lying on my chest and
face, bunched up at the last tree. i feel good. think i
will just lay here. my breath is regular, unhurried. my
heart beat is strong. my eyes blink when they need to. i
am unconcerned that i may not be able to get up if i tried.
i will just lay here and look out across the ground at the
shoes of the children. one of the children comes over and
puts her face next to ground right in front of me so i can
see half of her face directly. i think i might just say
something to her, or wink or something, but she goes away as
quickly as she came.
eventually you would think that i would get tired of laying
in this spot in what must be an uncomfortable position, but
i do not. it is good to just lay here. when i am not
looking at the ground and that swell way perspective makes
distant things small and near things big, i can listen to
squeal of nerve activity in the back of the head. it is
strange secret sound that i never heard very clearly until
just now. i am really content to lay here and look and
listen. why would i want any more?
oh. now church people are starting to show up. i can
tell by their bigger shoes, mostly brown. well, maybe they
will go away and lose interest quickly like they do in their
services. they do.
but too soon after that, the vibrations in the ground
coming up my left cheek bone tell me a large rolling vehicle
has arrived. i can feel the rubber wheels pop and plunk
over pebbles and wooden sticks. dirty white sneakers then
khaki knees fold up in front of me. a pretty paramedic
kneels down to look in my eyes. with a small pen light she
shines into my eyes, the right then the left. "dilated, no
reflex" she says. she is pretty. i wonder if she has a boy
friend.
she reaches up and is given a white plastic collar which
carefully slips around my neck. too soon it tightens a
little too snug. i think i might tell her that this is too
tight and my chin is a little abraded by the edge of the
collar, but i decide not to. she probably knows what she is
doing. six, no, eight hands take a firm grip on my legs and
arms and head. in one motion i can feel body raise,
straighten and roll over. the stiff wooden board they lay
me on feels pretty good. my neck and shoulders are
carefully pressed into a larger foam contrivance i can not
see. but it feels good too. half of a helmet comes down
over my head and is clamped to the wooden board under me. a
tube with a spray of cold air is forced past my teeth. i
had not noticed that they were clenched but it with some
difficulty that this tube is roughed into my mouth. i do
not care for the feel of it and the cold stream of air
pouring down my throat. but i decide not to complain about
it. a clear plastic face shield clicks down on the helmet.
now i am ready to ride again, i think.
the board is lifted unsteadily at first. pine tree
stretching upwards. clouds. blue sky. the sun. the roof
of an ambulance. bottles and white paper wrappers in
shelves along the sides. a brief compression as the rear
doors slam. a little jiggling as the driving starts. i get
an itch on my back just below the right shoulder. my nose
has an irritation but i do not sneeze. the cold dry hiss of
the air in my throat from that tube is the harshest
annoyance.
i do not know how i get anywhere anymore. just one moment
i am somewhere, then another moment i am somewhere else. i
seem to remember a phase of life in which there was a causal
connection between these somewheres, but i am beyond all
that now. i would explain this to the people in those
somewheres, but i do not bother. i do not speak anymore
because i really have nothing i want to say. i said it all
once and if they did not listen then that is their loss. my
breath is regular, unhurried. my heart beat is strong. my
eyes blink when they need to. i feel good.
some kind of hospital ward. nurses in light blue polyester
jackets. bland concrete walls, beige i think. several of
them could be quite attractive if they just thought about
it. the nurses, i mean, not the walls. the nurses could be
attractive if they tried.
getting dressed. i think i must spend a lot of time
getting garments put on my body. clothes on. clothes off.
clothes on. clothes off. why do we bother changing the
fabrics around our skin? i would be happier and more
comfortable just hanging around naked. i suppose we should
call it nude, not naked. sounds more polite. clothes on.
clothes off. in the brief periods of clothes off, about one
in ten, i get a messy sponge bath. cold drips running down
my skin and never enough care given to the places that need
it the worst. i can not remember the last time i felt like
i had a clean asshole. just clothes on to cover it up.
now this is better. i am sitting in a bar. a nice home
like place, not too clean. neon lights on the wall. that
nurse in civilian dress is flirting with that ambulance
driver. someone has put a cold bottle of beer in my hand.
the cold is a little annoying, but it soon warms. i used to
like the taste of beer. even now the smell is good.
country music on the juke box. maybe the nurse will get
lucky tonight. it is good to sit here with a bottle of beer
in your hand. i won't bother to drink it. that would spoil
the mood. my breath is regular, unhurried. my heart beat
is strong. my eyes blink when they need to.
back at the dayroom. clothes on. shoe untied, but i do
not bother to bend over to tie it. i will just sit here and
look at those fools in the wheelchairs. i may be in a wheel
chair but i do not care to look.
back at the bar again. midafternoon this time. i think i
like hanging out here the best. a heavy set chinese man
comes in with a very thin woman. they say hello to me like
we are old friends. i do not remember them. the man goes
over to the bar tender to order some drinks. the skinny
woman kisses me on the cheek. the chinaman comes back and
puts a cold beer bottle in my hand. i will just hold it for
a while and the chinaman whispers something in the woman's
ear and does something with his hand under her dress. she
laughs.
in the bar again. i know i must like this place to show up
here so often. a man with a scraggily beard and leather
vest comes over to me. he seems to have drank a little too
much. he takes the full bottle out of my hand and replaces
it with his empty one. that is good. glad to share. a
full one will appear in that hand soon enough. he leans
real close to me and starts talking. his breath smells bad,
but i do not fuss about it.
"hey man, i know where your beemer is. i saw it the other
day. this guy has it in a garage across town. i know it is
yours because of that scratch across the tank. now i know
you did not sell it to him. am i right? don't say anything
if i am right."
i do not say anything.
"ok, so i plan that we go get your bike back. have to
steal it, but he must have stole from you so that's fair.
tomorrow i will come and get you and we will go over to that
garage and get it. won't it be good to be on your ride
again?"
it is my bmw. i had not thought it might be, but there are
all those little personal marks and dents collected over the
miles and years. the cracks in the leather seat, the
speckling of rust in the chrome. i wonder how it got in
this garage. someone must have taken it from the church
yard.
mister leather vest grabs it by the handlebars like a greek
dancer takes the horns of a bull. he wrestles it this way
and that until he gets it up the ramp onto his pickup truck.
the beemer never struggled with me that way, but that is
probably from long experience and familiarity. its
horizontal block like extended lungs gleam invitingly, eager
to breathe again.
vest jumps back into the cab of the truck beside me. a car
pulls in the alley from the opposite end. he cranks over
the engine but it does not start. again the starter motor
just whines. the car gets closer. finally, on the third
try the truck comes to life and we make away down the alley
with my motorcycle. 650 cc bmw cruiser.
=( i wake. the clock says 04:47. i have been sleeping on
my belly with my neck bunched up on the pillow. it feels
like the same position with the tree trunk in the dream
after the downhill slide. i must have lain this way for a
while as i feel stiff and sore when i roll over. that
probably explains the paralysis in the dream. i usually roll
around a lot when i sleep. god, the whale and the bmw come
from somewhere else. )=
.
stankuli@gulf.net
=== qui non est hodie cras minus aptus erit
| | who not is today, tomorrow less suitable will be
--- -- Ovid _Remedia Amoris_ i 94
WATER [A magical earthly fluid, nourishment, cleansing]
** Dream: "The Life Underwater" by Seagull (990501) **
Can't remember all of it, or very clear. I was in this
kind of store, with my elder brother. The sorrounding was
normal, but it was under water, and i knew it wasnt that way
always. In the store, there were people, and lots of
shelves. My brother took me to see a fish, which from far
looked little and when i got closer, it was really big, it
was golden on his back, and white on his bottom. He was in a
big aquarium inside a wall. Then i saw this seagull with its
wings tied up and i think it was dead. when we got out of
the store, i saw the other street was underwater, but the
place we were on wasnt. I asked my brother how come, and he
said it has to do with the level of the sea (which made no
sense to me)...
** Dream: "Losing Battle of Determination" by Seeking
Enlightenment (990513) **
April 26, 1999
I had a dream that had to do with 2 kids, another adult
and myself. I dreamed that we were in a large body of water.
Like a lake or beach or something. The other adult and I
were on a dock. The dock had a roof over it. The two kids
were in the water next to the dock. I remember that I kept
trying to build these rafts that the kids could sit in. I
remember that I thought it was very important that would be
able to "sit" and float in the water. These rafts were
supposed to be floating in the water but they kept sinking
or breaking. The rafts were the blow up kind that you would
take to the pool. The kids did not seem traumatized and they
did not die or even get hurt when the rafts started to break
or sink. In fact, as the rafts broke or sank, I caught them
in time so neither child was harmed. The water was only
waist deep for me. I am not sure if I ever got in the water
or not, but I remember realizing that the water was not
deep. The water was a green/blue and seemed to be fresh
water because of its clarity, but it also seemed that we
were at the ocean at the same time because I do not remember
seeing any land nearby. The water was calm and had no waves.
The kids could not swim. One child was maybe 4-5 and
the other was 6-8. As I remember, one kid looked like my
younger cousin, Chelsea but she was younger than Chelsea is
in real life. In real life, Chelsea is 10. She also did not
act like Chelsea. Though I could say, it was her. The other
child I want to say, was my nephew, Gio. He is only 4. But
again, the personality was different and neither voice
matched how the kids' talk. I do remember getting in the
water now to fix the rafts. I also used some kind of sticks
to hold the rafts together. It was like I kept the rafts
folded in half, like a chair formation for the kids to sit
in and tried to hold the rafts together like that with the
sticks. They reminded me of sticks that you use when
building a kite. I heard music also.! ! I think it was
coming from a radio that was on the dock. It was a specific
song, by Duncan Sheik, but I can't remember the name. The
chorus rings a bell though. It goes something like this "Cuz
I am barely breathing/I can't find the air/Don't know who
I'm kidding/Imaging you care/I can't stand here waiting
oooh
for another day/ Don't suppose I know the price that I must
pay
, But I'm thinking it over, anyway
(Not sure if this
has anything to do with anything, but I thought I would
include it since I dreamed it)
Now like I said, the kids were not traumatized when the
rafts kept breaking. I feel sure of this. Also, I sensed
that the other adult on the dock was a female with short
blond hair. I have no idea of who she was. She was not
familiar looking to me. It was not a family member. I am
certain of that. I don't think she was doing much, except I
do recall that she was tying some rope up on the dock. I
recall that I kept trying over and over to fix these rafts
even though the! ! y kept breaking. I also recall that as I
was dreaming this, I knew they would break. But the me that
I was dreaming about, had no idea and just kept trying to
fix them over and over.
Comments by Dreamer: I have been tracking my dreams only in
the last few days but I have found that I hear certain songs
in my dreams. This seems to happen in 50 of the dreams I
have been having. Does this mean something? I thought this
was a bit strange as I have never heard of anyone else
having this happen. What does it mean? Any interpretaions
are gladly appreciated.
** Dream: "Water vs Mud" by Continuum(990521) **
5/21/99 2:00 a.
Everytime I try to get ice out of the ice machine, I
get mud instead. It's dark and stormy outside. At home I try
to get water out of the faucet, mud comes out.
WORKPLACE [Where we make a living]
WRITING & WRITERS [Communication and creativity]
= = = = = = = = = = = ==
DREAM SERIES
** Dream: "pk league, bunting for the fence" by Stan
Kulikowski (990427) **
DATE : 27 apr 1999 08:54
=( last evening i went into the university to meet with my
grader so he could be trained on grading the last assignment
of the term. i got back around 21:30 but my mother had gone
to bed early to read a book. i did some email work for a
couple hours and went to bed myself around 23:30. i read
_prisoner's dilemma_ until 02:00. this is a shallow history
on game theory, mostly a brief biography of von neumann in
the early part at least. )=
in the days after the great war of the apocalypse in which
people wander the earth in search of things that could
neither be manufactured nor distributed, i came upon the
psychokinetic league forming up softball teams in the desert
of arizona. for some reason unknowable to the survivors,
the effects of the peripheral effects of genetic bombs were
to mutate the brains so that the very fabric of space could
be torn. this resulted in a new variety of person that move
objects with their thought processes. so common were these
people and so sudden their appearance that society never
went through a rejection and persecution phase, but rather
we had to reshape the rules of behavior to accommodate these
new abilities. i was not one of the new people, or at least
no
such powers were noticeable in me yet.
it turned out that the bending of space was very tiring,
requiring great amounts of energy and concentration. only a
few were strong enough in their new powers to actually
deflect the path of the softball into their gloves. this
had to do with the natural deformation of space by matter
which we call gravity. i was told that on space stations
outside the gravity well of the planet this would be an
easier task, but since those satellites had been the first
casualties of the war, it was unlikely anyone could confirm
this very soon.
it was, however, easier to make a small puncture in space
so an object could fall through it and transfer from one
location to another without being present in the intervening
adjacent locations. for some reason unknown to me, the
distance between the entry and exit of the spatial rip was
not very noticeably more difficult on the person creating
it. the size and duration of the opening were proportional
to the effort to achieve the displacement.
so, to bend space enough to change the flight of a softball
required a series of space holes only separated far enough
for the ball to appear to travel along a nonnewtonian
direction. like a movie frame, each step was discrete but a
series of them is close and rapid succession would appear to
be a smooth motion which the eye could not perceive. that
is why the bending of space seemed so difficult for the
psychokinetic league.
but making a single discrete jump of the falling ball into
your glove was much easier, requiring only one spacetime
puncture. it made the game harder for spectators to follow.
a fly ball would vanish in midflight so one of the
outfielders would have to hold it up once it appeared in
their glove. if the right fielder missed the ball with the
mental space hole, the center fielder or left fielder might
snag it. this allowed for much amusement to the spectators,
especially when all three of the fielders missed, the ball
actually hit the ground and the players had to scurry after
it.
infield play was generally too fast to intercept a line
drive, but a grounder was generally transported directly to
the first baseman's glove. the catcher is not allowed to
bypass the strike zone. the pitcher, however, can generate
a displacement, then pitch the ball into it, so it makes a
discontinuous path from leftside to rightside for instance.
the strain on the pitcher is to hold the displacement open
long enough and wide enough for the ball to pass through it.
so faster, more accurate pitches are better to achieve the
effect.
the batter has two small advantages. when a pitcher has to
yawn open a displacement and throw the ball through it,
light also passes through before the ball does. since the
light is no longer traveling in a straight line, it is
noticeable as a blur or glow on the point of exit. as the
blurred spot has to be on a line with the strike zone, the
batter can sometimes see it in time to adjust his swing.
the main advantage, however, is for the batter to transport
the ball before the basemen do. not every pitch can be pked
or the pitcher would wear out too soon. fast hit balls are
too difficult for any one but an outfielder to intercept,
but the slower grounders can be scooped away, often by the
batter who is the closest to the object and may have some
anticipation of where the ball is hit. this gives rise to
the most treasured play called 'bunting for the fence'. a
homerun ball has to be seen crossing over the outfield
fence, most easily done from the bunt.
=( i woke around 08:30 still thinking about the problems
associated with this softball league. i believe there was a
part, somehow not in the dream directly, but rather
collateral with it. it had to do with the dictum "those who
do not work, do not eat". the telekinetics did not have to
eat. they could teleport the food directly into their
stomachs. of course, an apple unchewed would block the
pyloric sphincter causing pain or death. so only food well
chopped up would be zapped directly into their stomachs.
the best place to get that was directly from the stomachs of
someone nearby who was eating. odd concept i suppose, but
the pk people would not have to eat, so they need not work.
i wonder what other body functions they could replace by
direct transference of material... impregnation or child
birth probably. )=
.
stankuli@gulf.net
=== qui non est hodie cras minus aptus erit
| | who not is today, tomorrow less suitable will be
--- -- Ovid _Remedia Amoris_ i 94
** Dream: "dream with physical ailment" by stan kulikowski
ii (990714) **
DATE : 14 jul 1999 03:00
DREAM : the sports star
=( still on my german vacation, i took ill when touring the
bavarian alps region three days ago. getting through jet
lag must have weakened my resistance because i picked up the
cold which mark had when i got here. while hiking on some
mountain trails i began to sneeze. when we got back to town,
it was after 19:30 saturday and every pharmacy and store for
cold supplies was closed until monday morning. what a
barbaric practice to close needed consumables for religious
quackery. we stayed over saturday at a quaint bavarian inn,
but i was getting too sick to enjoy it much. could not
sleep hardly at all. sunday morning went to a mountain top
teahouse built for adolph hilter, but it was cloud covered
and drizzly and the altitude did not help my draining
sinuses. got back to herzogenaurach during the afternoon,
and slept off and on through most of sunday. started taking
cold relief capsules and syrups on monday morning, but the
german kind are too weak compared to what i usually take,
and this cold had a long period untreated. all day monday i
just lay abed trying to sleep as much as possible. i had a
stupid mechanical dream about user interfaces, but i was too
sick to write it and it was too dull and repetitious to
bother with anyway. this illness had a curious cold sweat
that lasted right up to the end that i usually do not
experience when sick. yesterday, tuesday, i was able to get
up and eat and begin to move around the house, never far
from whatever these little red pills are called (labels all
in german). we began to refer to them as 'the little red
balls' after a funny line in the movie _les visituers_.
mark and fran went out to the beerfest in the next block,
but i stayed home being too soon for me to feel like going
out. was rainy all afternoon anyway. had a little trouble
getting to sleep until after midnight, a sure sign that jet
lag is over for me. )=
i promised everyone that i would come out and play with them
at the picnic, but i forgot to bring cokes. no matter, i
will just dash off and buy some more. we are outside in the
sunshine, gathering together on the large grassy lawns of a
hospital. laura white is sitting nearby, enjoying the sun.
she is sure looking better after her heart attack a couple
months ago. as i jump up to go for the cokes, i dump out
the nylon zippered bag i am carrying and a dozen or so
brightly colored frisbees twirl out, eager for flight.
reluctantly i have to leave them for the coke mission.
first i start searching the ground floor of the hospital
for a coke machine. i look in this room, then down that
hall. it seems almost deserted in here like it has turned
night inside while outside is midafternoon. after a few
more unproductive guesses, i stumble into a room where a
pretty young nurse is studying a textbook.
"i am sorry to bother you." i tell her. "but could you
tell where there is a coke machine?" she nods, gets up and
takes me a few doors down and points down the hall.
embedded in the wall is a vending machine, only about eight
centimeters of it extends outward, but it is brightly
painted with the red cocacola logos. i thank her and hurry
over.
i fumble out a handful of coins and start to feed the
machine a series of quarters. but it will not take them.
the coin feed slot is closed. apparently this vending
machine will not accept money when turned off or unplugged,
the slot closes.
i pull the vending machine out of its niche in the wall.
it is only slight;y thicker than the eight centimeters
exposed, maybe ten in all. the machine is surprisingly
light, maybe it is empty of coke. but once i have it pulled
away, i discover the problem. some repair operation from
the other side has torn away the wall. there are bits of
wire and plaster and loose boards scattered all over the
floor of the hall on the other side.
two men, one a janitor and the another a hospital
administrator are standing in the rubble on the other side,
searching for something. "damn, i told you he was fast."
they poke through a few more boards. finally one of them
comes up with a cat that is wrapped up in heavy gauge
construction wire. it has yellow insulated wire wrapping up
its neck and chest, red wire around its middle and hips, and
finally green wire around its hind legs trailing off some
distance afterwards.
quick as a whistle, the cat gives a little shake and is out
of the grip of the administrator. it is quick. a few
wiggles and they can not see where it went, like things that
vanish with stop action movies. that fast. but when they
start looking around, i find that the trail of green wire is
on my side of the wall, leading behind the vending machine.
dragging the cat by its green wires out from the behind, i
start to replace the vending machine in its hole. "i am
trying to help you." i tell the cat. "lie still if you are
smart." the cat's panicked eyes look at me, but it relaxes
its head in consent.
i do not unwrap the animal, but i carry it out a side door
into the parking lot. i out it on the back seat of car and
quickly start driving for home. when i get to my
neighborhood, i do not pull into my driveway but park down
the street where a family of black people live. in case i
have been followed i can shake a tail by cutting through
some backyards.
"what you got there?" the teenage daughter asks me as i
come up on the screened porch. she is a little overweight
with round features.
"take this cat but don't unwrap him yet." i feel something
odd in my stomach and have to excuse myself around the
corner of the porch. once alone i fish down my throat with
the my fingers and just as i am about to gag, i connect with
something hard. pulling it out of my mouth, a long strip of
heavy white plastic starts to come out. down in my stomach
i feel a larger mass start to move. it takes a couple pulls
to extract it, but at the end of strip is maybe a half liter
white plastic cup and off the lip are three spiral spring
ribbon things that bob back and forth uselessly. i marvel
that such a large thing could be swallowed or disgorged, my
jaw aches almost dislodged. but i think i recognize it as
some water toy that a child was playing with yesterday. i
did not know that i had swallowed or inhaled it somehow.
there is a thin taste of something else still in the back
of my throat. first i pull out a long wet piece of
cellophane, saran wrap. then several more hard plastic
strips, pastel colors and a little irregular on the deeper
ends as they come out. finally about eight them metal
rectangles about the size and thickness of paperback novel
covers. the process of pulling this slime covered stuff out
of my throat and stomach hurt, but it feels good now to have
cleaned that out. i wonder how long all i have carried all
this, and how i only remember that monster water toy at the
start.
i throw the wet saran wrap away but carry the rest with me
as i go back. on the bar at the end of their porch, i take
back the cat and begin unwrapping the wires. when i have
finally freed the animal, it takes one look at me and is
gone like a shot. but it is in for a shock. no sooner has
it jumped off the end of the bar than it is grabbed by the
blind toothless dog that sleeps there. a hearty vibration
is set up by the rapid gumming of the mangy black dog.
with the back of my fist, i carefully insert my wrist into
the dog's mouth to free the cat. quickly, it runs down the
bar in the opposite direction, but before it gets to the end
a couple puppies of the toothless bitch jump up to intercept
it. the cat seeing all exit blocked, sits down to start
licking its fur as if nothing has happened but its fur is a
little mussed. it looks to be a rather mangy animal itself,
bits of odd fur sticking out here and there, but that may be
due to the wire wrap and saliva coating from old gummy here.
then, licking its paw and rubbing its ears, the cat begins
to talk.
"you know, i am really a world famous baseball star. at
that hospital they did genetic transformations on me to
prevent me from getting to the world series. those men were
agents of the players on the other team. if you can help
get me back into shape before the series, i can make it
worth your while. all the personally signed trading cards
you can carry. be worth a fortune in a hundred years."
seems pretty stingy considering the millions that national
athletes take home, but then ability in sports only rarely
coincides with good character. coaches harp on that
teamwork and role model stuff to keep taxpayers supporting
their recruit training facilities in public high schools. i
begin to consider what restoring him will mean. massive
weight gain, for one thing. i suspect he weighs maybe eight
pounds american.
while i am thinking about his restoration, i have been
fumbling with the flat metal bits i pulled from gastric
system. a little corroded around the edges, but i recognize
these from my high school days. one each metal plate is the
photo of young men dressed in plastic armor. one is a
goalie, another a wedge leader, another a line backer. the
coach used to have these embossed up a week before the games
so we would form an image of our assigned targets. i did
not realize that i had eaten them.
=( i awake 02:50 after a rapid series of dreaming, it takes
a while for me to recall all this as it seemed to happen so
quickly. there are many associations here. laura white did
have a heart attack a few weeks ago and had to default on
teaching pascal class yesterday. she does look much better
now. the hospital probably relates to my being sick the
last three days, certainly the deep ache i felt pulling that
stuff from my throat was really lung congestion and sore
ribs from coughing. when i woke i could still feel it, just
displaced a bit from alimentary to respiratory. i suppose
that dreams do localize internal anatomy very well. the cat
here does not like me, yowling often when i come by him on
the stairs. the only time he seems to tolerate me is when i
scrap dinner bits into his bowl when washing the dishes. he
is a neurotic indoor cat who dashes for the door every
chance he gets. the street is too busy with traffic for him
to survive outside though. the thin vending machine is like
the cigarette machines they have everywhere around here. i
do have black neighbors, but this was not them or their
house. i never played sports after little league, and could
not wait to escape the dim coaches in the required gym
tortures. the plastic, metal and saran wrap is probably
related to the overly complicated recycling process here in
germany. i never recall which of the half dozen containers
take what. i have felt that it might be easier to eat the
saran wrap like i saw an actor do in the movie, _les
visiteurs_, a couple days ago. )=
.
stankuli@gulf.net
=== qui non est hodie cras minus aptus erit
| | who not is today, tomorrow less suitable will be
--- -- Ovid _Remedia Amoris_ i 94
** Dream:"my betrothal" by stan kulikowski ii (990715)**
DATE : 15 jul 1999 02:34
DREAM : my betrothal
=( still on vacation in germany. mark got sleepy and went
to bed early. his wife, fran, and i walked over to the
kirchenweiss beer festival which was packed with germans
singing and dancing on a wednesday night. fran found some
women friends and they danced on the tables for a couple
hours. the music was a horribly performed mix of latin
swing and american rock with a german accent, but the
townsfolk knew what the words sounded like and sang along
anyway. often the singers on stage could only approximate
the words to _born to be wild_ or _la bamba_. i drank some
weissbeer and watched the pretty young women from town sing
and frolick, none speaking a word i could understand.
around 23:30 the3 music closed down and i went right to bed.
sleep did not come easy with a liter of fresh beer in me.
)=
if it is said to be quietest just before the storm, or
darkest just before the dawn, what is it just before true
happiness? perhaps i finally know now.
the family reunion of abegail jane has been planned for
several weeks and i have been lucky to be involved through
here. one by one she has introduced me to this aunt and
uncle, or that cousin. i can hardly remember most of their
names. always i have been introduced as 'a friend', no one
is supposed to know that we have been lovers for several
months, living together de facto rather than by plan or
arrangement.
my part in this reunion, besides arranging for this hall
since i live in this township, is that i promised to supply
the beer. being a homebrew master, it was easy for me to
whip up a 40 gallon batch, but the hall has some unusual
requirements to pressure tap kegs into its famous wall
spigots. there not being time to cure the batch naturally
in bottles, i had to use force carbonation which meant
spending several hundred dollars on the several pressure
canisters that charge this tap system. it was more than
anyone could expect me to spend, but i was happy to do it.
although her family is french in origin, most of the uncles
and a few of the aunts expressed how much the beer at these
gatherings meant to them, more like germans in that respect.
as the last of her family comes trickling into the hall,
which is a long room built down a steep hillside, i have
roped some of the younger men to help install the last
pressure canister. it is a long stainless steel tube about
the width of a grapefruit and six meters long. just before
we get it attached in its downhill pointing wall socket, one
of the senior aunts, a late arrival, pulls on one of the
taps behind me. with a kerchung, the wall socket in front
of me extends a metal flange intended to open the pressure
canister so the beer in the vat is driven through the taps.
since this canister is not online, the other in the wall
across the room creates a back pressure which forces the
loose canister backwards out of its slot. since the flange
had only started to open is valve, its internal pressure has
no where except to escape into its steel casing which causes
its component parts to disassemble.
so the men who had been trying to help me load the thing
are suddenly catching bright stainless pieces as they fall
off and the canister jettisons backward. the last two
manage to catch a heavy glass liner, sloshing with injected
beer, before it hits the floor. i doubt if it would have
broken, but it it better to have all the parts in hand to
reassemble them. it will take some time, however, to get
the system up.
oh, a minor set back. i had backup with cases of imported
beers on ice. some people do not always like my strong
dopplebock. i like to cater parties with plenty for
everyone's taste.
most of the family is seated at the various little tables,
each on its own step floor with a railing. the design of
the building was not to excavate the hillside, but rather to
enclose its natural steep slope with step terraces for the
chairs and tables inside. quite a nice effect actually as
it focuses the attention on the elders at the bottom tier.
abegail finally comes in at the bottom to talk with her
mother.
my heart starts to surge when i catch a glimpse of her.
you would think that after these months together i would
have calmed down by now. she is normally a stunning woman
just to look at, but i had not seen her all morning with
these preparations, and she is dressed in peach colored one
piece silk dress that takes my breath away just looking at
her from the distance. whatever i was doing just gets lost
from my head and the boys behind me keep clanking away with
the metal parts of the canister. i suspect everyone in the
room has noticed my jaw drop and my eyes roll out of my head
the second she walked in. who could miss it?
i am drawn down toward her several levels, just walking
blind, trying to recover my supposed detached demeanor, when
my name is shouted out behind me. "stan!"
i turn and one of the aunts, or a sister i think, has a
scrap of paper in the hand. "what is the meaning of this?"
i see it is an invoice that fell out of the canister.
"meaning of what?" someone in a lower row asks up to her.
"it says $153.76 for just this one. there is another just
like it on that other wall, not to mention the beer itself
and these heavy crystal mugs. just how much have you spent
on this?" she asks me. the receipt is passed downwards to
abby's mother.
"look," i start out lamely. "the equipment is reusable. i
would have bought it sooner or later as beer master anyway
so i can cater this hall. the beer itself was made from
odds and ends i keep on hand anyway. i suspect i spent less
than $70 dollars on 40 gallons that might get consumed here
today. that works out to about 30 cents a mug. that does
not sound like much to me." i neglect to mention the import
cooling in the ice chests down front.
"sounds like you are making a hit already." abby smiles at
me. "i told you keep a low profile and you are center of
the attention before we even get started." there is a
little still bemused warning in her eyes.
the rest of the gathering seems to accept my statement, not
that interested anyway. but the receipt has found its way
to abby's mother who comes over for a quiet word with me on
the side.
"yes, what is the reason for this?" she asks, not meaning
the price. "just what is your relationship to our
daughter?"
i swallow hard. abegail had thought her family would
never ask directly, and i am very reluctant to mislead
anyone on my sentiments here. "i know what i would like it
to be." i mumble a bit.
abby's eyebrows perk up in question or warning, i can not
tell which, but i seem started now. "i would feel forever
lucky to marry her..." i stammer out. a flicker of a smile
crosses her mother's face, but in a tense jerk i turn to
abby direct. somehow, my tongue comes untied, but my heart
just stops.
"abegail, if i can persuade you to marry me i will count
myself fortunate as no other. i did not intend to put you
on the spot like this in front of your mother and all, but
neither can i mislead her when asked so directly. i feel so
lucky that you even look in my direction or say my name. if
you are going to dump me someday, then this should be the
time to do it. i have found it impossible to hide my love
for you here among those who also care for you. oh, abby,
either marry me or just shoot me in the head like broken
horse who can never run again."
i suppose the love smitten always end up by saying silly
things. but someone whose heart is about to fall through
the floor or the ceiling deserves a little leniency in
metaphor.
now my breath stops altogether and i do not care if it ever
returns or not. her eyes have that cool fixed stare and her
lips that slight smirk frozen in time, either cruel or
amused, i could never tell.
"yes, i will."
she spoke loud enough for her mother to hear her. i
suspect the assembled guest had hushed to try to hear
whatever i was saying quietly to abegail jane, but i will
never know. the sound of empty space came crashing down
like the red sea on pharaoh's army. someone put a fork down
on a plate. an empty mug was moved an inch. someone
whispered a syllable to a child. my heart beat just once
more. she had said yes.
i have never imagined what happiness was like until this
moment. i had never known it to be missing or my life in
anyway lacking, but now something good clicked in my chest
and the sweetness of the air almost overwhelmed me. i
struggled to remain conscious. i probably looked like a
drooling idiot hardly able to stand, but all i could see was
a clearly pleased smile show on her face as if for the first
time. i thought i had loved her before, but now i know i
have finally gotten it right.
her mother nodded once as if checking something off on a
list and left without saying a word, going over to the table
for her husband. soon there are shouts and laughter all
around the room. i hardly notice.
abby comes up close and murmurs with a coy tone in her
voice. "and what if we have children?"
"two." i can't take my eyes off her, my chest is pounding,
pounding, pounding. "i have always thought two would be just
right."
"and if a third or a fourth turn up?"
"anyone who comes from you will be beautiful by right and
no one can deny beauty its due place in the world." we had
never spoken like this before. perhaps unchained happiness
makes everything just sound like shakespeare wrote it.
the rest of the afternoon and evening was a swirling miasma
of people and beer and singing. her father was always
looking forward to grandchildren and was eager for the news.
every female cousin, married or unmarried, swarmed around
her like moths wanting a piece of the new light she seemed
to radiate. me, i was like an ox dumbfounded being led down
the path by well meaning relatives.
finally, about an hour before midnight, the owner of the
hall shows up to tell me that our rental is up. he needs us
to leave soon as another party is about to arrive. this
sounds a little odd to start something so late, but most of
the people had left an hour ago anyway. i am walking around
enjoying the shell shock.
outside in the dark, i see a line of people dressed in
japanese ceremonial kimonas and robes. i signal for abby to
join me so we can leave. the first of the japanese to enter
place two little infants on the terrace in front of the
entrance. everyone who enters bows to these two tykes, and
one of the babies standing on its legs (but it is surely too
small to be walking) is saying things to each who enter.
"your karma is mixed with indigestion." or "the souls of
your feet are confused." little stock of phrases like that
in a tiny, mechanical voice. what are these curious little
things? they look like real babies from the distance but
act like little mechanical buddas, wind them up with a key.
as i turn off the final pressure valve on the tap system, a
light skin asiatic woman steps from behind a post. she
looks more korean than the japanese here. some other minor
race from over there anyway. "those are the ribawn
infants." she tells me, nodding to the odd babies.
"remember, this place belongs to intermatsuu."
i look over at those babies, each bowing and making weird
fortune cookie statements. when i look back, the asiatic
woman has vanished. stepped back behind the post i assume,
but i do not have time to look as abegail comes up with an
open box. she has a small doll inside, in several pieces to
be assembled. it is ornately carved. "ready to go?" she
asks me. am i ever.
we file past the line of robed figures coming in the door.
i get a closer glimpse of the weird babies. they are both
dressed in one piece zip ups so only their heads and hands
actually show. i don't know what is going on with them, but
it is none of my business.
we walk arm in arm down the hill and to a house on the flat
where i should turn in the keys i was given. out of some
bushes by the road comes my father. "is this what you have
been doing? secretly brewing beer and hanging out with
those foreign people?"
"i did not think that my brewing beer was a secret." i
smile directly at him and he is taken aback a bit. nothing
can conceal my joy. "abegail and i are going to get
married."
"oh yes? and what do you think about this?" he throws a
ceramic plate on the ground and breaks it with his heel. it
used to be the stand to a favorite statue i had made in art
classes. i think he is testing me.
i just smile bigger. "we have not set a date or made any
arrangements yet. i hope you can be there."
he seems satisfied. "i will be there." he finally smiles
and leaves. he has ever seen me this happy.
"what was that?" asks abby pointing to the broken plate.
"just part of a doll i made once. this one is much
better." indicating to the disassembled one in the box.
inside i meet the tavern owner. i try to give him back the
key but he has a worried look on his face. "i want you two
to go back in there and bring out those two ribawn. do not
let anyone prevent you. they should not be there. they are
an abomination."
this sounds a little odd, but abegail says sure and puts
down her doll. i start to follow her out the back way and
the service entrance at the bottom of the hall. the owner
hands me what looks like a rough wooden staff, highly
polished, but i see that it divides in half and is actually
a katana, the samurai great sword. i am not sure what use
this has for the ceremonies inside, but i take it. perhaps
i am to exchange that for the babies.
the silk robed japanese people are darkly arranged around
the sides of the hall as if avoiding the dimly lit middle.
i have no idea what they are saying to each other as we pass
up the central isle unopposed but clearly upsetting to the
participants. at the top, abby takes up the smaller of the
two infants which has been less active than the other.
people have stopped coming in from outside so maybe their
role as greeting dispensers is done. i pick up the larger
ribawn.
at once i can tell something is really wrong. he is much
heavier than expected, particularly bottom heavy. "is that
one really heavy?" i ask abby. "this one feels like he has
a load of steel crap in his diapers."
kneeling down, i lay mine over on its back and unzip his
one piece to check his pants. inside is a horror. all of
the babies' internal organs have been scooped out and
replaced by a foul corroded metal box to which the head has
been attached. around the metal box is a stringy green and
yellow mucus with some white pus globules floating in it.
suddenly the box sounds a list of its eight or nine
greetings, one after another. "your karma is mixed with
indigestion." "no one will know your mother lied." "the
slightest chance will bring you disaster." and so on.
"stan, i think we should take these children to a
hospital." abby tells me. she has not looked into the guts
bag of mine yet. an elderly japanese man with a thin white
beard comes over, looking worried. i zip up the ribawn's
garment which apparently keeps the fluids around the box.
the baby's lips move spasmodically.
"i do not think there is anything a doctor can do for these
infants." i tell her. "you know what this is about." i
say to the elderly man. "how long does a baby in this
condition live?"
he looks around trying to avoid answering. "about three
months. the one you have was prepared for this service
tonight 54 days ago. the one she has has new technology and
is expected to survive three years. we have never had a
ribawn that long. we have been working on the life
expectancy problem for centuries."
"well, i think we have to take these two to a hospital and
let the men of western science see what has been done here,
one way or another." i say.
"it is unfortunate that you try this." he mutters,
departing into the shadows.
suddenly a fully clad black ninja drops down from the
ceiling, short sword drawn. i step over the ribawn on the
floor to allow abegail to scoop it up with her other. i
pull out the katana i was given. guess now i know why. by
god, i will permit nothing get close to her tonight.
the ninja attacks and somehow i parry and back slash,
removing his leg at the knee. he makes no sound as he falls
to the floor, clutching his spraying stump. two more come
at me, this time out of the shadows. one is slightly ahead
of the other, so i try for his wrist holding his sword. i
miss as he jumps aside, but my blade catches him across the
abdomen, his guts spilling out in a gush. he has gotten in
the way of his companion. i grit my teeth and lunge
forward, piercing the chest of the second ninja as he steps
around. i do not know where these fighting skills are
coming from as i have not fenced in years, but i will fight
with every fiber in me before i let them get to abegail
jane, my bethrothed.
together we start backing toward the entrance just up a
little way. five more assailants seem to pop up on the
sides, but they hold back.
suddenly, out of the middle directly in front of me, the
shadows sort of congeal in an odd way. a tall thin spectral
figure appears, wearing a thin white spotted silk robe that
blows franticly even though the air in here is still and
thick.
"comes rikayu!" the five on the sides say in unison like a
chant.
a laugh comes out of the robe and under its hood i can
dimly see a skull, bleached bone white. oh shit. a demon.
giving myself up for dead, i charge forward hoping the
surprise of a frontal assault will throw him off long enough
for abby to get those pathetic babies out of here. it seems
i was not meant for true happiness afterall, but at least i
had a few moments of it. i give up the joy in my heart to
desperation.
the demon does not move at all. the end of the sword
cracks through its jaw and buries into the cranial cavity.
still the demon laughs in higher and higher frequencies.
twisting the sword i break off a chunk of the skull. still
it cackles insanely. i strike forward a couple more times
breaking away most of the skull but nothing seems to affect
rikayu's menace.
then i start saying like a war cry, "i did not call him,
but still he comes."
rikayu stops laughing and starts paying serious attention
to me.
"i did not call him. i did not call him." i say over and
over, the bloodied sword gripped uselessly between me and
the demon. "i did not call him, but still he comes."
behind me and abegail, the universe cracks open just a
little and a brilliant beam of white light floods in driving
away any trace of gloom and darkness. brighter and brighter
it grows and the demon rikayu begins to crumble with a
mournful cry. the ribawn howl in agony of what has been
done to them. the followers along the way begin to drop
like flies. lord intermatsuu, the god, has arrived at his
place as promised.
=( i woke out of breath, aching tense shoulders, but still i
had a full measure of that sustained joy in my chest.
02:00ish i suspect. i lay there for a while just savoring
that feeling of true happiness, however briefly experienced.
the real abegail jane broke my heart, just tore it apart,
when she left me, she was quite young and inexperienced in
relationships. all these years i have dreamed of her with
regret and longing, but this one experience almost makes up
for all that. this feels like the redemptive value that
religions milk out of some people and call it supernatural,
but to me it seems part of this mechanism of dreamwork i
have been exploring. i note the appearance of demons and
gods just after the shower of emotive release. i suspect
that is a cultural reflex, i certainly have no tendency to
credit rikayu, or intermatsuu with any external reality
although i can see how more controlled cognitive process
tapping into this reservoir with focal godlings or saints
might convince someone less familiar with their mental
processes. i caught just a glimpse of that happiness i
happened to miss all those years ago, and i am glad for even
that fragment. )=
.
stankuli@gulf.net
=== qui non est hodie cras minus aptus erit
| | who not is today, tomorrow less suitable will be
--- -- Ovid _Remedia Amoris_ i 94
** Dream: "psychic fair" by stan kulikowski ii (990512) **
DATE : 12 may 1999 06:25
DREAM : at the psychic fair
=( my mother went to bed really early last night, about
22:00 as she was sleepy. i worked on a bit of internet
history which i had taught to the naval students earlier
yesterday. i needed a couple powerpoint slides to address
some questions they had on how government had adopted use of
computer networks rather late compared to the military
deployment of arpanet. particularly i spent some time
researching the 1984 AT&T divestiture in the reagan
administration after the antitrust action of nixson ford
justice department. economists on the internet were not
making as many parallels to the current microsoft antitrust
suit as i had thought. apparently, the sherman precedents
against standard oil, AT&T and IBM were much stronger than
the present microsoft case which is a much smaller company
in terms of employees, thereby concentrating more wealth and
control into fewer executives at the top. i quit early,
around 02:30 and went to sleep with only a little difficulty
because of the warmth of the night. still have not turned
on the air conditioner. )=
the psychic fair is a dusty sort of affair. gathered
together outside in a dry, grassy field far away from
anything civilized or urban. there must thirty large
victorian tables set up side by side. at each table sits
the various practitioners of different forms of divination,
maybe four to six people at one table then another who has a
table alone, depending on how much space is needed for the
process.
i walk among the tables and marvel at the variety of
methods for divining one's fortune or personality. here
there are several forms of the _i ching_. one man casting
three coins while another heats a turtle shell over a
propane burner. i wonder where the 49 yarrow rods are, as
that was always my preferred method of casting the
hexagrams. at the next table is a tea leaf reader with her
pot of brew and next to her a woman with thick spectacles
scries myopically into a crystal ball.
there is a haruspex all alone peering into a disemboweled
white dove, entrails spread across the table with care. no
one seems to want to hear about the doubled lobed liver of
this perfect victim. other doves coo in a wicker cage
waiting their chance to expose the twists and turns of
destiny. they do not seem perturbed by the fate of their
recent cage mate on the table before them.
at the next table several gentleman sit waiting customers.
one of them has a silver samovar that has a white ceramic
tile hanging by a red silk string. he turns over the tile
to reveal some blue chinese characters etched on one side.
"feng" he announces to the others and they seem suitably
impressed.
someone throwing rune stones on an animal fur. another
constructing a tower of thin rods. someone else with
rorschach ink blots. a large contraption of shiny brass
that clicks and wheezes when you wind it up with a peculiar
shaped key. a man with long fingers feeling the bumps on
the skull of a patient young woman.
a turbaned swami with magnetic eyes channeling the dead. so
many different ways to conjure the future or the past.
i have not decided which to try. i hardly need the future
told to me as my life seems to go its own way whether i will
it or not. perhaps it is lack of interest more than
anything else. we live. we die. life goes on. what else
needs to be said? still since i am here i can hardly not
try any of the sundry harbingers.
tarot cards might be entertaining. i find a sweet young
woman with gypsy black hair ready to spread her cards for a
coin. i watch her manipulate her gray backed cards and
start to lay them out, some face up and some face down. i
follow closely, but this is a layout that i am unfamiliar
with. certainly not the celtic cross, but her arrangement
does terminate with the seven card daath pack at the end.
she is puzzled. "this ending seems to contradict the
structure before it." she says. "i do not see how this
future follows from what has gone before it. it makes no
sense at all. i must have done something wrong."
i take several of the cards and rearrange them. "i noticed
when you laid them out that these four cards in their
cardinal order, you did not follow the pattern you used over
there." the card faces are cryptic pastel images, not the
crowley deck nor the ryder pack. i seem to have the seven
of swords in my hand, but i do not see it very well.
something about the card causes my eyes not to focus on it
properly. maybe something about the perspective is wrong.
"i do not think i could have made so elementary of a
mistake." she says to me, but she shrugs her shoulders. "i
will ask my teacher what the significance of a mislay is.
clearly this is an ill formed result."
"or maybe my life is just too screwed up to make sense to
you?" i say with a half way grin. i am secretly impressed
that she can recognize and admit nonsense in the cards
instead of merely accepting whatever shows as some
expression to make sense of. cause and effect ought to hold
for any valid divination just as it does for the physics of
the world being shown.
now i see someone i recognize: matilda fultz sitting at a
table with maybe fifty glass jars and containers spread out
before her. i do not recognize the method here. "this is
herbal prognostication." tilly explains to me. "pick a jar
that seems to appeal to you."
i look over the apparatus. every jar is different size and
shape, mostly antique canning jars with those dull metal
screw on lids that had the white glass inside. some of the
jars have dried powder or whole leaves inside. there is one
with an obvious brown mandrake root in it. some bottles
have ground glass stoppers and contain a liquid extract.
finally i choose a jar more for its shape than its contents.
this jar is rectangular, just over an inch wide but seven
inches wide. i like the thick clear glass and the way it
has been shaped. also, the jar is inside a thin wire cage
like it might explode. i notice almost after the fact that
it has maybe half an inch of wet red pulpy material on the
bottom. there are many small white seeds also. "what is
this?" i ask, handing over the jar.
tilly wrinkles up her nose in distaste. "tomatoes and
ketchup."
"do you think we can brew up some herbal tea while we do
this?" i notice some chamomile blossoms in one of the jars.
maybe she has some yerba mate.
=( i wake 06:05, well rested and no tendency to go back to
sleep. i wish i would have stayed asleep to see what tillie
was to do with the herbs to divine something. i had a
feeling that it involved tasting or smelling small samples
of each and that she did not care for the coming taste of
her tomato concoction. i have never heard of herbal
divination so have no idea what that ritual might entail.
an association for my study of history last night to those
methods of divination seems evident. both are concerned
with interpreting events. )=
.
stankuli@gulf.net
=== qui non est hodie cras minus aptus erit
| | who not is today, tomorrow less suitable will be
--- -- Ovid _Remedia Amoris_ i 94
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http://wkweb4.cableinet.co.uk/dma/ed/start.htm
Also available AOL
America On Line:
Alternative Medicine Forum
(KeyWord: AltMed > Therapies > Dreamwork)
or KeyWord: aol://4344:1679.ALTdrem.13664900.588132320
Also at the Writer?s Club Libraries
Keyword: writer
\writers club library
\writers club e-zines
Thanks to John Labovitz for putting us on his e-zine list:
http://www.meer.net/~johnl/e-zine-list/zines/
electric-dreams.html
Thanks to Todd Kuiper for listing us on his e-zine list:
http://www.merak.com/~tkuipers/elists/elists.htm
Thanks for the listing in The eZines Database Collection:
Zines@Dominis.com
<URL:http://www.dominis.com/Zines/>
Thanks to the Dream Network Journal for mentioning the Electric Dreams project.
DreamKey@lasal.net
http://www.dreamnetwork.net
Thanks to low bandwith for listing electric dreams
http://www.disobey.com/low/listings/electric_dreams.htm
Thanks to the Usenet newsgroups for mentioning us in the FAQ files at alt.dreams and
alt.dreams.lucid and for other Usenet Newsgroups for allowing us to continually post
messages.
Thanks to our many web links! See
www.dreamgate.com/dream/resources
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The Electric Dreams Staff
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Peggy Coats - News & Calender Events Director
pcoats@dreamtree.com
http://www.dreamtree.com
Bob Krumhansl - Editor & Dream Editor
bobkrum@erols.com
Kathy Turner - Dream Wheel Moderator
"Kathy Turner" <kathyturner@bigpond.com>
Dane Pestano HTML ED Designer
danep@cableinet.co.uk
Victoria Quinton- Friends of Electric Dreams
Electric Dreams Archives & Reporter
mermaid 8*)
mermaid@alphalink.com.au
http://www.alphalink.com.au/~mermaid
Jesse Reklaw - Cover Art Gallery 1994- 1997
reklaw@nonDairy.com
Cover Artist
This Month's Cover byt David Wells and Kat Eiswald
http://home.pacbell.net/davekat
Thanks to Bryan Smith for
many of our Web page Illustrations.
http://www.thinkpiece.com/
Molly - Illustrated ED Archive Host
WHOMEVER@prodigy.net
http://www.geocities.com/~pae_sno/
Lars Spivock - Research and Development Director
lars@dreamgate.com
Richard Wilkerson - General Editor, Articles & Subscriptions & Publication
rcwilk@dreamgate.com
www.dreamgate.com
+ The wonderful anonymous Core who respond each issue to your dreams!
+ The generous authors of our articles
+ The creative genius of Bryan A. Smith
+ The delightful dreamers and commentators
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All dream and article text and art are considered (C)opyright by the writers, artists and
dreamers themselves. Anyone other than the authors may use or reprint the text for
non-commercial use, but all other use by anyone other than the author must be with the
permission of either the author or the current Electric Dreams dream editor.
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DISCLAIMER
Electric Dreams is an independent electronic publication not affiliated with any other
organization. The views of our commentators are personal views and not intended as
professional advice or psychotherapy.
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