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Electric Dreams Volume 01 Issue 06
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| Electric Dreams |
| Volume 1 Issue 6 |
| 5 June 1994 |
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| Please send suggestions, contributions, mailing list and back issue |
| requests to cbeattie@uwspmail.uwsp.edu or cbeatty@worf.uwsp.edu |
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Dedicated to sharing and exploring dreams
__________________________________________________________________________
Notes for the week
Hang on, this is the longest issue we've had yet!
1. It seems that my sixty hour work week is already screwing me up, and
last week I forgot to put in some commentary sent in by Pamela Ryan. That
commentary will be found in this issue. Sorry for the inconvenience.
2. We got lots of contributions this week. I would like to thank
everyone who sent something in. Good job!
3. Thanks to everyone who complemented and thanked me for the work I've
been putting in on the newsletter. Knowing that the people I'm mailing
this to are enjoying it makes me feel a whole lot better.
__________________________________________________________________________
Dream Comments
=====The Waitress & Her Bodily Fluids-Issue 2=============================
I am eager to hear BJ's own ideas about this. Since hearing that
he is a MALE FEMINIST, I've revised my "take" on the dream: perhaps he
feels *confronted with* the negative state of the feminine condition (low
wages, forced into service jobs, forced into the "pink uniform" -- female
roles.....) and feels helpless to do very much about it. He feels an
unjust sense of guilt (he gave her an adequate tip, but feels
uncomfortable about her situation anyway, and worries that she does not
*feel* she has been treated fairly.....)
He feels "stuck with her" -- he is affected, at a very deep and
personal level, by her being buried in the median. Her plight becomes
his own......
--Pamela Ryan (pryan@prairienet.org)
By semi-popular demand, here's not so much an analysis as an
explanation of possible sources for the images in my dream "The Waitress
and Her Bodily Fluids" from, I think, Issue 2.
>>part one: Keith's home and he doesn't like MST3K<<
Yeah, I think Val hit it on the head--I really miss Keith (he and
Lyle and I are very close) and I know that when I see him again, the
relationship we had will be gone. I also know that it won't be dead-
-everybody changes. Even if he hadn't joined the USAF, our relationship
would have changed. This feeling of loss is evident in the image of the
five of us sitting around the table like doofuses. We don't know what to
do. Also, it's reflected in the idea that where Lyle and I love MST3K,
Keith doesn't. Our tastes have taken different paths.
The last time Keith visited (about a year ago) he was running
around constantly, spending time with as many people he could, trying to
soak them up for his long trip abroad. That desparation permeated our
household. Also, at the time, I was working full time 3rd shift, so
whenever I was awake, I wasn't good for much. To quote Ergo the
Magnificent, "We had no time."
Earlier this week, I sent him a videotape with a few MST3K
episodes. We'll find out once and for all if he really does like the
show or not.
>>Running to the diner<<
For some reason, the image that most grabs me from this section
are the little patches of snow all over with ice as a sort of "Magic
Shell" topping. I suppose I might have drawn a little comfort from the
atmosphere of this section--I don't like really warm days, and jacket
weather or cooler is my favourite.
The row of Chinese elm separates our property from our neighbours
to the east, whom we don't really get along with, but we coexist thanks
to the trees (see Frost). Why Lyle and I decided to cross that border is
unknown to me at this time. It could be a break with tradition or
thumbing our noses at authority (a happy pasttime). The fact that it was
just Lyle and myself without the others could be a reflection of how
close we got since our third half is gone.
The mash of Wausau (my "hometown") with Stevens Point (my normal
residence) and the academic buildings with residential homes could be a
sort of displacement. I don't really belong anywhere and have yet to
establish myself at any location.
>>The Waitress and her bodily fluids<<
I'm still not grossed-out by this dream. The fact that outside
is a "washed-out, pastel morning" means early--about 5 am or so. There
was nobody else in the diner. One of the papers on our table was a
roadmap, and we were on our way somewhere.
The waitress. I worked at a family-owned restaurant for four
years, and really got to know the lot of the waitress--as much as I could
without actually being one. I'm a good listener, and heard many stories
from all of them over the years. As such, I have a great respect for
anyone who can stand that job for any length of time.
I real life, whenever I go to a restaurant, I try to tip well,
but my mathematical ability is nil ("...a tip should be 15%--or is it 20,
now?") so I always squirm when it comes time to figure it out. I usually
just overtip, as evidenced in my $1 tip for $1.15 tab.
It could be four years of experience with waitresses as human
beings that prompted the anxiety of the woman in my dream. I was really
worried about her--first that I messed up the tip (I hate insulting
people I don't know), then that there was something really wrong (evil
things happened to a few of the women I worked with).
Now the fun part. Val, you said I sounded like I felt guilty or
shameful as I described my drinking her bodily fluids. That wasn't it.
In the dream, the bodily fluids were more of an afterthought. I was more
concerned with the waitress--what happened to me was secondary. It could
have been a test (I've been tested before) of my sincerity--vomit,
diseased and menstrual blood are all pretty undesirable fluids in this
time. To drink the impossible drink? She tells me what I'm drinking and
I take it in stride, even drinking a little more of it with full
knowledge of what it is. Immediately after that, I'm outside.
I've seen bits of me partially buried before, and you'll all get
one of the stranger of those dreams this week or next. However, unlike
the waitress, I was able to break out of the ground and walk away...
This dream could be a flag to watch out for. At the time, I had
a few homework assignments piling up and a feeling of "AAAAAHHHH!!"
creeping in. Keith figures a lot into my dreams (hey, at least I have
him on one plane or another), as do my techniques of dealing with people.
I have strange dreams, and death figures prominantly into almost all of
them. This could have just been a weird dream, as you said, Val. It
also could have been a warning to double-check the next time I find
myself drinking a cup of warm applesauce...
--BJH (hi205436@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
======Rattlesnake Garden-Issue 4==========================================
The plants made me think of babies, offspring. Are you thinking
about whether to have children or not? I also got the feeling that the
driverless car could symbolize your feelings about your marriage.
--Jay E. Vinton (jev@cu.nih.gov)
======Dream Snippets-Issue 4==============================================
This dream has rich imagery, and evoked many feelings in me as I
read. My strongest reaction was to the death of the small boy. If this
had been my dream, I might guess that I was acutely aware of growing up
and facing adult challenges: The CHILD is at first with me, then it is
neglected and lost (my family is upset by this -- families must always
read just as children grow into adults and assume new roles), then
finally the child is killed, "railroaded" ? .....
Interestingly, the dream takes place in a collegiate/industrial
environment, and when I initially entrust the child to the grandmother, it
is because I have business (adult stuff) to attend to.
The Chinese dragon / Japanese students situation strikes me as a
symbol of old traditions and illusions, or childhood fantasies (mythical
dragon) collapsing when confronted with real people with current
concerns.....
ALIENS IN THE WALKMAN
Wow -- this dream is really bizarre! I'm having trouble feeling
an overall connection to this one, so I'll just suggest associations to
some of the images.
Aliens: Outsiders, or feeling like an outsider
Walkman: Sends messages to your ears/head. Active (walk man). A man who
is walking, or walking away?
Flood: Feeling inundated with work, or overwhelmed with emotion.
Purple: Blending of male and female colors (pink/blue). Outrageousness
Writing utensils: Send messages.
Hanging up: cutting off connection (in this case, to old friends)
Gilligan's Island: A place of isolation from the rest of the world.
Actually, now that I write all this down, it does suggest a common
theme of isolation/alienation (perhaps being _overcome_? ... since
Gilligan's island is _found_?)
--Pam Ryan (pryan@prairienet.org)
(Again, sorry about forgetting to include this last time
--Chris (just shoot me) Beattie)
======Val's Dream Series Parts 1 & 2-Issues 4 and 5=======================
I am struck by the difference between BJ and the other dream
characters. The others are just thinking of good times, going out in the
fields, carrying on in the dance club, but BJ seems to have more serious
things on his mind, getting Val's attention with the music, rescuing Val
from the bee, talking with Val rather than dancing.
--Jay E. Vinton (jev@cu.nih.gov)
======Hasta La Vista!-Issue 5=============================================
This dream seemed to me to be a re-evaluation of your current
situation involving relationships. Perhaps you want to start up a new
relationship...like at the end of the dream where you were thinking of
the potential benefits of getting remarried, but you are dissuaded by
the way your marriage to your ex-husband turned out.
Maybe there has been someone else in your life that you are
attracted to, but you are afraid of the relationship turning out wrong.
(This is my first attempt at a commentary. My own dreams have
very shallow symbolism, and are fairly easy for me to interpret, so I may
have problems with the more complex dreams most other people seem to
have.)
--Chris Beattie (cbeattie@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
This dreams seems to be a healthy re-affirmation of the dreamer's
choice to be independent of her ex-husband.
Does the number 14 have any special significance for you, or
remind you of anything in particular?
--Pamela Ryan (pryan@prairienet.org)
There must have been a reason why you loved him in the start to
marry him and so I'd say that the dream is showing that you may still
miss that to some extent but then reassure yourself that you made the
right choice by rejecting those desires for a second time. That is, on
the balance of things you are better off without him but there was some
attraction.
--Matthew Parry (mettw@newt.phys.unsw.edu.au)
I believe, in this dream, you are making sure you know what you
want and are sticking by it with no regrets. It's obvious to me that you
feel you made the right decision in divoricing the "emotional bully."
This dream was reaffirming your self-esteem and independence with the
knowledge that you are better than your ex--he's the one that needs to
have someone to make himself complete, not you. Keep celebrating your
freedom!
--Val, the Dream Shaman (ka109016@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
======Egg-Issue
5=========================================================
I'm not sure what to make of this dream. It sounds like the kind
of dream I would have after I had seen a biology documentary when I was
too tired.
The early part of the dream had you trying to play pool, but
every time you tried to hit the ball, it didn't work. Maybe you were
feeling some frustration over not being able to reach some goal you were
striving for in waking life.
You also asked about nightmares other people have had. I've
created a new section in the newsletter, called questions and answers,
where I will give you my answer to your question.
--Chris Beattie (cbeattie@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
This dream is so complex that I have trouble getting a handle on
it. Perhaps it would help me if I restated the dream in less-complex
terms:
I am playing a game. I am repeatedly blocked from playing.
An item of key importance is stuck.
Something is deflated and dysfunctional.
I have a violent reaction to a piece of fruit.
I am deluged with too many things at once.
I am told that I must treat things in a gentler way.
When shown an exercise vehicle, I toss junk food on it.
I suggest using an egg in the game, as a joke.
A woman asks whether the egg is edible; I say it is hard boiled.
Inside the egg is a half-developed human.
A very large egg at my parents' contains many half-developed
humans.
One of the half-developed humans is within me -- I want it out.
I am made sick by all of this.
A few associations:
-Fruit and eggs are both strongly associated with fertility, for me.
-"Hard-boiled" makes me think of a person who is "hardened" to life.
-When I contemplate the parental egg-image, it makes me think of my
own life, where some things that my parents did while bringing me
up may have, in fact, stunted my growth and left me "half-developed."
-The game could be the "Game of Life" -- there are ways in which I
feel frustrated, when trying to enjoy the Game of Life. Sometimes,
I get stuck. Sometimes, I don't have the proper tools to succeed.
Sometimes, life "throws too many things at me, at once..."
-One issue I must address is my own emotional reaction to the Game:
sometimes I get angry and violent, and lash out at sweet things
that could actually nourish me.
--Pamela Ryan (pryan@prairienet.org)
I got a lot of associations with this dream. There are both
Universal symbols and personal symbols in it for me...
COMMENTARY PART ONE: Playing "Pool"
First off, the playing of pool, the difficulty of hitting the
balls into the pockets, balls turning into soft volleyballs, then into
fruit, etc. all deal with "playing the game of life" or playing with
life. Nothing seems to go right, or at least not as you'd expect it to
be. There are surprises at every turn and every go. But this game gets
you frustrated. It seems you have no control. The one "firm" ball you
found turned out to be mandarin (fruit is nice, yes, but not when you are
looking for something long lasting.)
Perhaps you are tired of the "game"of relationships (both
friendships and lovers) you may have played. Everytime one seems to be
the right one, it turns out to be just as brief as the others. This
causes a lot of frustration in us all. Plus, Universally, the symbol of
fruit represents passion and sex. Both are fleeting, but true love is
solid and lasting. It seems to me you've had enough of "playful"
flirtations and are trully looking for this type of stability.
The "balls" in your dream could be a symbol of human testicles,
but I'm not gonna go too deep into that. Someone _did_ say you "have to
be gentle with them"... Could it be you've been a bit too forceful?
Perhaps forceful due to frustration and anger over things not going as
well as planned? This part of the dream could've been telling you to
take things easy--on others and yourself.
COMMENTARY PART TWO: The Egg and the Dead Fetuses
When you put an egg on the table as a "joke" I believe that,
perhaps in the past, you did not take life very seriously. The egg has
long been a Universal symbol of life and new growth. With the woman
asking you if it was "edible"--I believe she might've been attempting to
bring your attention to how fragile it is. But you tell her (because
it's hard-boiled) that "I didn't think so." Yet, hard-boiled or not, an
egg is digestable. When you "crack the side of one" you are testing the
boundaries and exploring this "life." You have to see what's inside.
The discovery of the big egg "full of row after row of dead,
undeveloped chicken foetuses" is disturbing because these fetuses are
"undeveloped"--a representation of sudden death, killing off what
could've grown. Yet, what I find most interesting, is that the fetus
you found in the one hard boiled egg you had was half-developed, which
seems a whole lot more than the "undeveloped" ones in the big egg at
your parent's house. Perhaps this was symbolic of breaking away from
the image of what your parents had in their relationship. You want
something different and/or better. You bury the relationship that
didn't grow into the big egg "graveyard" at your parent's house. Yet,
before you move on, you "started pulling one out of (your) mouth"--an
image of "giving birth" to a new relationship or starting over. But,
again, you are impatient, you want things to be better NOW.
COMMENTARY PART THREE: Another "Two Guys and Some Woman"
With the image of the residue of the shell in your mouth, I
assume you might be having a hard time dealing with clearing up your
past. I also noticed a connection with this part of the dream with the
first. There is another "two guys and some woman", but this time you're
not "playing" with them. You are doing your best not to disturb or
interupt them. Did this fill you with fear? Are you experiencing
disruption with these people in real life? Is there something you
feel responsible for? Perhaps you might want to confront these people
and get this, bad, nauseating residue out of your (and their) system.
Since I don't know you personally, I do not know your connection
to Steve, Dave C., and Fiona. Forgive me if I might be a little off in
my assumptions.
As for your worry that one of your front teeth might fall out
(now, you scholars out there correct me if I'm wrong, but...), that is an
old Freudian image of the fear of castration and could be you are
punishing yourself for not having what you desire (whether it is sexual
or not is your business). Then again, it might have nothing to do with
the dream. It just was emphasizing your fears and disgust about those
dead fetuses.
--Val, the Dream Shaman (ka109016@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
__________________________________________________________________________
Dreams
======The Death of the President==========================================
I am teaching at a school. The atmosphere is very relaxed and
informal. I am aware that "The President" (NOT Clinton, but just some
ambiguous Presidential figure) is dead, but I do not want to share this
with the students for some reason.
I go outside and see a handsome African American man, sitting on
the ground, looking saddened. "Do you know?" he asks me. "Yes," I
reply, thinking that he is referring to the President's death. But in
fact, he was upset only by his knowledge that the President was gravely
ill -- when I tell him of his death, he becomes inconsolable. We drive
around for a while with a third person, and then return to the school.
Almost all of the students are gone. A little girl meets us at
the front of the school and tells us that the students were sent home
because of the President's death.
--Pamela Ryan (pryan@prairienet.org)
======Hummingbirds=====================================================
===
Between final exams and work, I've been too stressed lately to
remember any dreams. The two dreams I put in this issue are the first
dreams I've remembered in two weeks. I had them both in the same night.
I was walking along a trail that was very narrow and had some
crushed rotten granite for a base. I enjoyed the sound the gravel made
when it crunched under foot. The trail was under a high power line, and
I had turned around to head back the way I had come after reaching a sign
saying not to go any farther.
I was headed toward a country highway which was fairly
busy. The area seemed to match an area near my parents house, just north
of a winding country road in the woods, near a large gravel quarry, only
there was no gravel quarry.
I heard a very loud buzzing behind me, and I turned to see two
hummingbirds hovering at eye level about fifteen feet away. I thought of
them as hummingbirds, but they looked like flickers (related to
woodpeckers) flying hummingbird style.
--Chris Beattie (cbeattie@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
======At My Work Computer, Counting Rejections============================
Val and I were in the basement of the library at the University,
working at one of the computers in the room I work in there, although we
weren't at my workstation. We were working on putting together Electric
Dreams (We really had been working on it just before I went to bed). We
had come with all sorts of stuff, music and munchies, and planned to be
holed up for most of the day. We started out in the morning (we usually
put this together at night), and I remember feeling very awake and
refreshed.
Val was typing, so I entertained myself by looking at my
calendar. I had written down how many times a girl named Tara had asked
our friend BJ out for a date. (Tara is a girl who attended the same
university Val and BJ and I do. She annoyed us all, and we believed she
did have a crush on BJ, although she never asked him out.) I had also
written down how many times BJ had turned her down, which had been every
time she asked. The total was nine.
--Chris Beattie (cbeattie@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
======The Orange Kitten (Not named by author)=============================
Well, I just had a dream last night that I remember in great
detail. It's very strange, but it's also very cool. Here it is:
And my dream opens to the scene...
There's a new addition to the Quaroni family! It's a cute
little kitten! I don't know how I got it or anything, but as the dream
started, I had just gotten a cute little kitten who was as playful as can
be. Some time passed, and it seemed like there was yet another cat under
my roof. This kitten was an amazing shade of orange. It was, in fact,
almost as orange as an orange. (It looked sorta like Technicolor) I
thought this one was a kitten (And I'm sure it was), but it was almost
full size. I had a little sand-filled doll of my other kitten (Which was
a medium-sized kitten by now), and I showed it to the orange one. The
orange kitten immediately took a swing at it and knocked it off of the
table! I tried several more times to see if it would like the doll, but
it always attacked it. I know this is normal, but something about this
orange kitten really seemed evil. I guess that's why I showed it the
doll before I showed it the real kitten. I decided to give the orange
kitten away, but suddenly....
The scene changed. It was night time in a forest. I guess I was
at a scene of Beverly Hills 90210. I don't watch the show, but I know
who the characters are. The scene was shot from up in the trees above a
small camp site. I was where the camera should have been. Brandon and
some female forest ranger walked into the site and started clearing away
dirt. They somehow cleared a small patch (There was something dark
underneath the dirt. I couldn't tell what it was, though) to sit on,
AND...
I was suddenly Brandon. I wanted to make a fire, so I found two
pieces of metal (One of them was a spoon), and I started hitting them
together. Sparks flew off of them, and soon we had a fire.
I went back to the top view, where Brandon and the ranger were
curled up in a ball. The ranger said that these outer trails weren't
open to the public yet because they were dangerous right now. Then
something happened and...
The scene cut to a view from the ground. The ranger looked
around and said a bone was coming in or something, and she gave the
exact distance... I looked up towards the trees, and...
I was Brandon again. The ranger was gone, and I went over to the
fire. I found a Zippo lighter, and picked it up. I started running away
from the camp site, my only light source this little lighter (The bone
exploded near me). I suddenly realized that I had a flashlight in my
hand, so I started using that as well. Pretty soon I came up to a road
with a stop sign, and I realized that I was going the wrong way.
Whatever was trying to kill me was close now. I turned around and
started running the other way when...
I was in the back seat of a car. My parents were in the front
seat. We were in the middle of a city, and then suddenly we were out in
the country. We were going someplace when....
I was a woman, and I was pregnant. It was winter time and I was
outside. I was near my apartment, and I was walking home with my
husband. I think this part of the dream had come up before, because I
remember being this person before. I knew that this was not my first
time being pregnant. We walked along a snowy path, and down some stairs
where our landlord was. She was shoveling at the bottom and didn't want
me to walk down the stairs, but I did anyway. We continued on, and we
passed by a window. I guess we knew the people inside because they asked
my how many kids we had. I looked towards my husband because I didn't
know. He used his fingers to say that this was the eleventh. The people
inside were pretty impressed when...
I was inside the doorway of that apartment with a cage in my
hand. In the cage was the cute little kitten. I was trying to get it to
enter the apartment, and that's all I remember...
Some fragments of other things popped up while I was typing this,
but they were very short, and I don't know where to place them. I don't
usually ask for analysis, but I'd like it now. This entire dream probably
isn't going to be published, so if you'd like the whole thing (Preferably
to analyze), please tell me and I will send it to you. I also talked to
my girlfriend about this dream later on, and she said that she thought
the part where I was a pregnant woman was a past life. Now I want to go
and get hypnotized to see if this is true... (C:
--Daniel Quaroni (goat@pelican.cit.cornell.edu)
"Another day, another hundred thousand dollars"
======Searching for Lights (not named by author)=========================
Greetings, everyone. I am the owner of the "falling horse dream"
some of you may remember. I appreciate everyone's comments - they helped
quite a bit.
I had two dreams that I remember Sunday night. I can't quite see
a connection, but here they are.
The first dream began with me in my apartment, in the present. I
was sleeping and I heard a noise, so I tried to turn on the light next to
my bed. I was blinking and rubbing my eyes, but my vision seemed bleary
and impaired somehow, as if I was looking through a blindfold. The light
didn't go on.
I stumbled out of bed and searched for another light, and turned
it on. I kept rubbing my eyes and became more and more anxious, as if I
needed desperately to see. I was afraid of the noise, afraid there was
someone else in my house and I wanted to see, but couldn't. Each light I
turned on either didn't work, or it didn't help. My eyes seemed covered
with the grayness or speckels of light you get when you rub your eyes.
The apartment turned into a large house (that I didn't recognize)
and I kept running through the rooms, frantically searching for lights
and flipping them on, but they didn't work and I couldn't see. Finally
I woke up.
------
I can think of some obvious interpretations--I am trying to
understand or "see" something, but emotionally or psychologically I'm
being blocked--and I wonder if the theory that dreaming about a house =
dreaming about your own psyche has any merit. Wasn't that Freud?
--Karen Frazer (karen@is.internic.net)
======Having a Baby (not named by author)================================
Second dream:
I am in a hospital, on a bed. I am pregnant, about to have a
baby, in fact. I look around and see my mother on the next bed over. I
have tubes all around me and lots of machinery, but I realize that there
are no nurses or doctors in the room and I am not in labor.
I look at my mom and she sort of pats my hand with a "there,
there". I ask her what happened--where's my baby?--and she says it was a
false alarm, it was just pains, not labor. I begin to cry. I feel such
love for this baby, so proud, I want to have the baby really badly and to
see it and love it (the feeling was VERY strong in the dream). She tells
me about a friend of mine having a baby in the other room, who is
apparently having lots of complications and horrible surgery. I become
sort of frightened, and I wonder out loud what will happen to me, when
will I have my baby, will it be OK. My mother turns to me and gives me a
stern, critical look and says "Well, it IS all your fault. You were too
negative...you haven't taken care of yourself...you didn't really want
this baby...see, now you don't have it...." and otherwise going on about
how I'm a terrible person and mother and not having the baby yet is all
my fault. I begin to cry again and I wake up.
------
I've had dreams where I was pregnant before, but not like this
one! Incidentially I have a good relationship with my mother now, but
didn't in the past (partially because she used to say things like that).
I also have another older dream that I'll send to the list.
--Karen Frazer (karen@is.internic.net) **.Sig omitted to save space.**
======Getting Home - 5/2/94===============================================
I'm hiding in the doorway of an old museum, half undressed. I
was planning intercourse with a woman I was walking with but she was
scared and ran across the street to an old restaurant where there was a
person in the window. Then there are people sitting at long tables in
the street. Some are looking at me. Before that we were walking up a
hill and I crossed a street full of running water. Then she came across.
Before that, a woman (not sure whether it was the same woman or
not) gave me a ride home from a meeting, along a long twisting suburban
road. Finally we get to their house. Quite a large rich looking house.
There are some kids there and her husband. We can't figure out their
address for the longest time, so I can't call up to get a ride home.
There are some planes floating on tethers in the sky, like blimps. One
of three girls is doing the splits.
Jay E. Vinton (jev@cu.nih.gov) **.Sig omitted to save space.**
======Circular
Theory=====================================================
** Note from Chris: BJ (and neglected to include a title, so I named
this after the short story that resulted from the dream)
Dream 24 July 1992
Morpheus pulled a good one last night. This is the second year
in a row I've found a pile of human bones up here at the cabin, only this
time they were my own.
I started out by the tennis courts by Oak Island Park--it was a
moist night and I watched the July 4 fireworks exploding in the sky in
front of me. I was wearing dark jeans and a heavy dress shirt and I had
my map case [in which I carry two small notebooks, one black and one red]
over my shoulder.
The drizzle got heavier, so I moved into the park to my left,
passing the tennis courts. The fireworks were still in the sky as I
approached a night-time baseball game and took refuge under a twisted
weeping willow. Its branches drooped low from the moderate trunk and
formed a cozy enclosure that shielded me from the rain. Under the tree,
the ground was damp and mossy. I watched the baseball game with little
interest and the fireworks with little more.
Then I chanced to look down. My food was an inch away from the
leg of a human skeleton that lay half-buried in the ground. The whole
skeleton was slightly nestled in the moss--naturally; it hadn't been
buried there--and hidden by the tree.
Crouching over my find, I crept toward the skull and pulled it
from the dirt and moss. There was a fist-sized chunk of spongy lichen
inside, but the skull was whole. No cracks or anything.
Off to my right, the kid said, "Who could it be, do you think?"
He was about eight or nine, with black hair, dark brown eyes and
dark skin. He called himself by some stereotypical Native American name
like "Little Running Fox (or) Bear (or) something". He wore a thin, blue
bandana around his head. I liked him. He was a good friend, and bright
for his age.
Examining the skeleton once more, I saw a square of oiled canvas
embedded in the ground near its right hip. I pried it up--it was a map
case like mine.
Inside the map case, I found two small notebooks, and my stomach
dropped. Pulling out the water-damaged, black covered notebook, I opened
it to a page of my writing. I swallowed, undid the snaps on my own map
case and withdrew the black notebook, turning to the same page. They
were identical.
"Omigod..." I said. "It's me. I died last year. Come on; we
have to get these to the police or something."
We stuffed the skull into his backpack and I put the second black
notebook in my map case. Leaving the rest of the skeleton there, we
dashed up to the road. The only vehicle was a city bus that we managed
to flag down in the dark. The kid was the first one on, but I dropped my
35 cents on the road and had to reach under the bus to get the quarter.
The door almost closed on me, but I got on, dropped the quarter in and
joined the kid in back. There were maybe two other people on the bus.
The kid and I didn't say much. I was too busy thinking. I knew
now that I had been dead for the past year. But in that year, I had gone
to school; raised my GPA! I'd taken jobs and visited folks. So what did
that make me? I wasn't a ghost or anything, but I had discovered my own
skeleton--even without the proof I knew it was mine.
I took the black notebooks out of my map case. The contents of
both of them were almost identical--the only difference was that the one
from the skeleton was water-damaged and some of the ink had run or
blotched. Also, as I flipped through both of them, I noticed that the
damaged one was missing anything I had written in the past year. It was
creepy.
It was daylight when we pulled into the bus "station", which was
really just an old warehouse out away from everywhere. The bus driver, a
couple of regular passengers and some of the station's workers were
there, for a total of five plus the two of us. The bus, apparently, was
staying.
The kid and I tried to explain that we had to get to the police
or home or something because we had found my remains. They of course
didn't believe us, even when I showed them the notebooks. It was
frustrating, but we finally got some sort of transportation to town. We
did a lot of cross-town walking before we made it to a quick stop at
Bill's Fine Food & Lounge [the restaurant I had worked at for 4 years]
and then home.
I was in our basement (a couple of days later, I would assume)
near the bottom of the stairs. It was the old layout, before we built my
room down there.
Someone came to tell me that the police had checked dental
records and they had done a clay reconstruction of my face on the skull.
The remains were undoubtedly mine, and nobody had an explanation why.
The dream journal I took this from is the red notebook from my
map case. This dream was a really puzzling one within itself, but loads
of fun out here in the real world. I used it as the basis of one of my
short stories. Without referring to the journal entry, I used the idea
and constructed a basic plot and a few characters to go with it. I
changed a little bit so it made sense, but when I finally did look at
the entry, I was amazed at how much of the actual dream I had kept.
--BJH (hi205436@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
======Val's Serial Dream=================================================
Dream Series:
"I'm Death, BJ's the Crow, and We Hunt Down A Serial Killer"
VMK
DREAM JOURNAL ENTRY #80
Vol.5, March 21, 1994
Part Three: "The Intruder"
We get to BJ's "safe" dorm room. It was night when we walked
there, but suddenly it got to be mid-day once we got inside his room. He
was still the Crow and I was still Death. We were laughing, too, and BJ
started to say something like, "My eyeliner is eating into my eyes, Val!
I'm gonna get racoon eyes!" He then asked me if I could loan him my
ankh, but I wasn't sure if I should. I only let him touch it and he got
"sparked" by static.
The phone rang and he answered it. Suddenly BJ gets this awful,
tired look on his painted Crow face. "It's Brandon*," he moaned, "should
I let him know you're---"
He was cut off by a knock at the door.
"Should I answer it?" I asked and we both just looked at each
other, frightened. The knocking got persistant and annoying, louder,
too. So I decided to be the brave one and answered the door. The person
on the other side was Brandon who was all dressed in white**. BJ hung up
the phone and, lightning quick, grabbed the shotgun that was latched onto
his back and aimed it at Brandon. Brandon just laughed at him, mockingly.
"You think I'm scared?" He smiled, "Do you really believe I'm
scared of you and that thing? That gun probably isn't even loaded--my
dick can beat your gun--by a full twelve inches!"
BJ wasn't moved by Brandon's words. I was angry. I told Brandon
to get the hell out and BJ put away his shotgun, sat back, and laughed at
Brandon. I calmed down.
Next thing I knew, I was sorting through BJ's CDs (I like his
music and looking through them is like walking through a library--full of
new and old interesting stuff). Behind me BJ and Brandon are talking.
Brandon's still claiming he's "so great" and "so much bigger" than BJ.
BJ laughs a lot and doesn't seem to care. I remember one exchange
vividly:
BRANDON: You have no guts, BJ, and you're pathetic! You wouldn't know
how to kill somebody if your life depended on it...
BJ: That's funny, my life doesn't depend on killing. It depends on
saving and surviving. You'd rather waste your life blowing
things up til there's nothing left of you or anyone...
BRANDON: Oh, really? ...And what is there to save and protect? Open
yer eyes, BJ! We're all living a lie! Tote around your gun if
it makes you feel better, it's just a symbol of the power
you'll never have.
BJ: But it's more than a symbol, isn't it? You want it, don't you?
That's why you're making such a fuss! Well, Val gave it to me
and you can't have it back!
Funny thing is, I don't remember giving either one of them a
"gun." I ignored the rest of the exchanges between them, devoting all of
my attention to the CDs. I picked out Queen's "Inneuendo", but when I
put it into the machine to play, "Get Out of My Mind" by Dynamix played.
This made me feel more comfortable.
Brandon continued to talk about how "manly" and "fertile" he was
but no one cared. BJ and I ignored him. Soon, there were more knocks at
BJ's door. I went to answer them. I let in a bunch of mine and BJ's
friends: Tara, Tim, Tom, Jeff, Amy, Chris, Julie, and Robin. This whole
group ignored Brandon, too, til he just sort of "popped" out of existance
like a fragile soap bubble.
Just before I woke up, I had twilight images of seeing him dead
in a coffin. No one was there at his funeral. I almost felt guilty and
was going to go see him, but heard BJ and Chris call my name so I turned
away because they were alive. I'd rather be around the living. The dead
make poor company. When I woke, I found myself wishing Brandon had died,
but I don't have the hate to really do so.
*Brandon was a friend I lost. He cut me off for no reason,
without warning. It was a shock to me. This was a friend who had been
always around and I looked up to him. Later on I found out he had messed
around with a girl. He turned out to not be the person I thought he was.
He must've fore-seen this, otherwise he wouldn't have left the way he
did. I loathe him now.
**Brandon is always void of "colour" in my dreams. He is always
white. I hate white because it's too bright and there's not much depth
in it. I like colour. Colour represents life to me. He's a ghost, all
dressed in white--like Casper!--in my dreams.
--Valentina Kaquatosh (ka109016@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
__________________________________________________________________________
Dream Project
Here is the next part to the dream project I have started. Last
week, I put in one week's worth of dreams from one of our mailing list
members. Our job was to try to describe this person's personality based
on the dreams. Here are the answers I got.
You seem to me to be a calm person to me. Someone who likes to
take things slowly. In your dreams, you described the calm you felt even
when you had missed your plane, and you were in no rush to pack even
though you were late. In another, you were embroidering, and another
involved gardening, both things that take a lot of patience.
I also think you tend to feel rushed or pushed by other people.
In the airplane/packing dream, your family is rushing you, pushing you
into something you intend to do at your pace, but it isn't good enough
for them. In another dream, your car was rear-ended; again, you were
pushed by someone. The rattlesnake dream involved being stopped by a
police officer; and you were worried about getting in trouble for not
conforming to the rules and expectations of the police officer, and maybe
even society.
--Chris Beattie (cbeattie@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
The dreams suggested to me that She is a shy person and from the
dreams on May 15 and 18 seem to show that she worries a bit about wanting
to have children (well thats what it suggests to me! I'll explain why for
you if you want).
--Matthew Parry (mettw@newt.phys.unsw.edu.au)
I believe this person had a lot of troubles with family
pressures. In the first dream they are upset and frantic at her, but
she doesn't seem to know or care what all the fuss is about. She seems
to be leading her own life and takes things one at a time, "neatly" like
the folding of her clothes. She also seems to be hard at work to "clean
up" what her family has "jumbled up" in their hurry to see her off on her
destination. Perhaps she was one of those children who was pushed by her
family to be the best in everything, the one with the bright future.
When she did not turn out to be what her parents expected of her, they
were upset and may still be trying to influence/manipulate her and remake
her into the girl (I assume she's a woman) that they wanted her to be.
It seems like she is quite happy being her own person and doing her own
thing HER OWN way.
The car accident in the second dream reminded me of sudden change
and death. Being locked in a school with her sister might mean this lady
and her sister may have something in their past they must face once again
and learn from. But confronting this shared past is difficult and both
are unwilling to face and be done with it. Does she get along with her
sister? I think so. But I do believe they have their share of
differences like all of us. The two of them (taking the accident into
consideration) might have shared ups-and-downs. Perhaps in real life
something happened that "rear-ended" them both back into their girl
school days and now they are working together to get things back to
normal.
It would be interesting to find out of this person has Lap
lineage. This third dream could even be a scene from a past life or it
could be she is living out the fantasy of being a Lap in a snowy place,
working on a new, beautiful, blue dress. Symbolically, the embroidering
reminds me of detailed, careful work. It gives me the impression that
she is a person who pays attention to detail and is decorative with her
style of dress and living.
This fourth dream made me feel like the relationship she has with
her husband is full of potential new growth, but the two don't know where
to start. They may share the same dreams and make the same plans, but
they need guidence and direction. Without it she may feel their
relationship might fail. That would be hard on both. They both seem
enthusiastic.
The flying dream represented freedom, adventure, and confidence.
I bet she likes to cut loose and party when she can. She enjoys life.
The last dream was interesting. I believe she accepts,
appreciates, and is confident in her sexuality. She takes pleasure in
her body. She is not ashamed or too shy. She realizes sex is a part of
life and it is a beautiful thing.
--Val, the Dream Shaman (ka109016@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
Okay, so how close did we come?
If you want to see how much of your personality comes through in your
dreams, you can still send me a small collection of your dreams (say a
weeks worth) and we'll see what we can do.
__________________________________________________________________________
Dream Articles
======The Science in Dreamcraft===========================================
The last few issues have featured articles by Valentina, the
Dream Shaman, involving Dreamcraft and Magick rituals. I tend to be very
scientifically minded, and find the term "Magick" to be intimidating, and
I am prejudiced against reading articles with that word in them. After
reading Val's articles and talking with her, however, I have come to the
conclusion that most of the "Magick" is simply science in disguise. In
fact, to be perfectly fair, many of the magickal beliefs existed long
before the scientific applications came into being.
Here are some examples of the science in the Magick, based on
Val's article from last week.
1. Dream Potions: Several potions were provided in the last issue,
to improve dream recall, and to help you dream of particular things. For
simplicity, I will use the hot, consumable potions for examples. Each
potion has its own odor and flavor. Now, when someone concentrates on
dreams while smelling and consuming these potions, the potion becomes a
mental focus. You begin to associate the odor and flavor with your
dreams. It helps you concentrate on your goal of remembering dreams, or
dreaming about particular things. It isn't necessarily that the
ingredients cause you to remember dreams, but that the odor and flavor
cause you to concentrate on your dreams. (There is also the fact,
mentioned by Val, that the potions will cause you to wake up in the
middle of the night to stop at the bathroom, which gives you a better
chance of remembering more dreams)
2. Dream Fetishes: These are just like the potions. You associate
the object with dreaming, and it reminds you to think about dreaming.
3. Recitation: Just another way to focus your concentration on
dreams.
Here is the Magickal ritual, boiled down to its mundane,
scientific bases. Imagine this. You are getting ready to go to bed.
You've gone through your nightly routine, washed, dressed, whatever, and
your mind is set (we hope) on sleeping. Rather than plunging straight
from waking to sleeping, you take a little time to unwind, to clear your
mind of all the things you have been thinking of all day. You make
yourself a cup of tea (your dream potion), using a flavor you only drink
when you are getting ready to sleep. While you are relaxing, your mind
cleared of other thoughts, you take the time to think about dreaming.
There are no other thoughts to distract you. You also take the time to
look at or handle some object (your dream fetish) that you only really
look at when you are ready for bed, and are thinking about dreaming and
your intent to remember and influence your dreams. You finish your tea,
which you've been sipping leisurely, and have had time (five, ten,
fifteen minutes) to actively think about dreaming. Now ready for bed,
you state out loud your intention (verbal recitation or prayer) to
remember/influence your own dreams.
These all work better than just telling yourself to remember
dreams before you go to bed. You take the time to concentrate on your
dreams, make it a major issue right before bed. You use smell, taste
(the potion), touch, sight (the fetish), and sound (the verbal
recitation) to focus on your goal, rather than just making a mental
post-it note.
It seems fairly logical and scientific to me. Opinions anyone?
Chris Beattie (cbeattie@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
======Dream
Pillows======================================================
The following are a lot of fun to make and to give as gifts.
DREAM PILLOW
Rose Petals two parts
Lemon Balm two parts
Costmary one part
Mint one part
Clove one part
Lavender one part
Sew up with white or silver thread on purple cloth into a small
pillow. Decorate with lace, silk, embroider with designs, etc. according
to your fancy. Sleep on it to have vivid dreams. (It smells great!)
ASTRAL TRAVEL PILLOW
Mugwort three parts
Frankincense 1/2 part
Vetivert two parts
Sandalwood one part
Rose Petals one part
1 pinch of ground Orris root
1 Vanilla bean, crushed
Make into a small pillow of blue coloured cloth with yellow
cotton thread. Sleep on it to promote astral travel during sleep.
NOTE: After six months these pillows may lose their "fresh"
scent. You can reuse them by emptying out the old contents and
refilling them with new herbs. Easiest way to do this is to
create a "pocket" within these pillows. Sew the pillows with an
open fold that can be closed either by velcro or buttons. Also,
to make it easier to sleep on, pad it with cotton or downy goose
feathers. How it will look and feel is all up to you!
--Val, the Dream Shaman (ka109016@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
======Dream Bath Sachets=================================================
There's nothing like a long hot bath after a hard day's nonsense!
Here's some herbal bath recipies to ease the senses and prepare the body
for sleep.
NOTE: Each herbal bath sachet can be prepared in advance and saved til
needed. Here are the instructions:
1. Add all ingredients into a mixing bowl.
2. Empower the herbs with your magickal goal.
3. Mix and grind the herbs.
4. Place a handful of the herbs into the center of a large
square of cheesecloth (or simply use an old washcloth).
5. Fill up a clean tub with warm water.
6. Place your herbal sachet into the tub and let steep until
water is coloured and scented.
7. Get into the tub and enjoy!
*If you don't have a bathtub, or if you just prefer taking a
shower, make up a sachet in a washcloth and scub your body with it.
These bath sachets are for external use only. Make sure you are not
allergic to any of these herbs or you'll be sorry.
HERBAL DREAM BATH SACHET No. 1
(For Dream recall and awareness)
Lemongrass three parts
Thyme two parts
Orange peel two parts
Clove one part
Cinnamon one part
Carnation one part
HERBAL DREAM BATH SACHET No. 2
(For Divinatory Dreams)
Thyme three parts
Yarrow two parts
Rose two parts
Nutmeg one part
Lavender one part
Patchouly one part
HERBAL DREAM BATH SACHET No. 3
(For Peaceful Sleep)
Catnip two parts
Hops two parts
Jasmine one part
Elder flowers one part
**Let me know how these recipes are. Does anyone else out there
have any from their family archives or from books? Zap 'em out to me or
Chris and we can really make this a sharing experience!
--Val, the Dream Shaman (ka109016@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
__________________________________________________________________________
Questions and Answers
*My question for everyone is what is the worst nightmare you have ever had?
--Matthew Parry (mettw@newt.phys.unsw.edu.au)
It seems to me the my worst nightmare is always the most recent
one I've had. I would like to submit two dreams as being my worst
nightmares.
1. This dream seemed especially bad because it was so real. It
happened within the first week of my moving into a new apartment.
I woke up when I heard a scraping noise in my bedroom. I opened
my eyes a tiny bit, but it was very dark in the room. Slowly, my eyes
adjusted to the darkness, and I could barely make out the shadowy shape
of a man standing inside my room, right next to the window. He was
looking around, and spotted me in my bed. I saw a large hunting knife
clutched in one of his hands. He saw that I was awake, and rushed toward
me, knife aimed at my throat.
Then I woke up for real.
2. The most recent nightmare I've had was just bizarre. I think I
had it because I had an infection in my throat at the time.
There was some sort of cyst or something growing in my mouth. I
tried to squeeze it out with my fingertips, but the inside of my mouth,
especially my tongue, began to split down the middle as if it were made
of dry rotted wood. It sealed itself up again and didn't hurt, but it
scared me.
--Chris Beattie (cbeattie@uwspmail.uwsp.edu)
The worst nightmare I've ever had was a reoccuring dream in which
I was married to the person I most hate--and in the dream I actually
enjoyed being with him. The dream always ended with him tying a rope
around my neck trying to strangle me. I'd try to get away and when I
actually did, he'd beg for forgiveness and would start to cut off his
limbs with a dull, rusty knife.
After I had this dream for 27 nights in a row, I realized I
actually liked the guy in real life after all and stopped hating him so
much. We became good friends for many years until I started having
dreams of him being dead (with me being the only one at his funeral and
everyone else at the funeral were clones without faces). I had this
dream for two weeks. It turned out the person really wasn't my friend,
messed around with another girl, lied to me, and left with out a good-bye.
Consequently, I don't like him anymore and I believe the dreams
had been warning me that "You can be friends with a bastard, but don't
ever trust 'em with your heart--he has nothing to lose, whereas you have
everything to take."
--Val, the Dream Shaman (ka109016@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
*A question, what exactly do you mean by Dream Fetish? Is it aiding your
dreaming or a source of dream desires?
--Matthew Parry (mettw@newt.phys.unsw.edu.au)
A Dream Fetish is an object that aids you in your dreaming. It
is a mental focus as well as something to REPRESENT your dream desires.
You provide the source of desire in your dreams. Check out Chris'
article this week and see how our notes compare.
--Val, the Dream Shaman (ka109016@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
*My main interest is in lucid dreams and I am interested in talking with
anyone who has used Dr. Laberge's DreamLight or other lucid dream
inducement aids.
--Tom Briscoe (tbriscoe@aoc.nrao.edu)
*Have any of you had reoccuring themes or images in your dreams? What
are some of your reoccuring themes/images and what do you feel these
things have to say about you?
--Val, the Dream Shaman (ka109016@spstmail.uwsp.edu)
__________________________________________________________________________
See you all next week, and keep those posts coming in!
