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Tongue of the Fatman
Tongue of the Fatman - DOS front cover
Minions of the Dark Ones
presents
The Dreaded Docs for Tongue of the Fatman
Whoever uploaded FATMAN*.zip forgot to remove one thing... THE STINKING COPY PROTECTION!
The software overlords have become a bit wiser in their old age. The realize that disk copy protection is no match for the skilled and sinister minds of the thousands of Believers in The Land. So they have reverted to document checking. I guess the theory is that if you can get the software illegally, you can't get the documentation...<I said a BIT wiser>.
They've tried this on MECHWARRIOR, TONGUE OF THE FATMAN and DEATHTRACK USA.
My response is the following: BS!
I digress...
When the program first starts you'll get some cute graphics then a display of three roughly humanoid life forms. The spotlight usually is on the one in the far left, Rex. It can be moved to the other two life forms using the arrow keys. The fighter you selector here will be your fighter in the fight pits.
Next, you'll meet Mondu the Fat. And here's where the trouble begins. He'll ask you some statistic for one of the fighters in the fight pit. The information is on trading cards that come in the original sotware documentation. These cards are reproduced below for your enjoyment. Don't ask me where Mondu's card is; it wasn't in the @#$%^*! real documentation anyway. However, the other nine fighters are here:
Trading Cards Stats
Slasher
Rank #5
Kicks: Right Punches: Both
Special Move: MixMaster
Wt: 300 kgms Ht: 2.2 meters
Age: 16 solars
Hometown: Shicktar
Professional Fight Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2545 Cystbol 2:51 Trebor $ 6540 5-4-1
2546 Cystbol 0:22 Rex $ 19500 7-2-1
2547 N.Y. 2:26 Behemoth$ 29490 7-3-0
2548 Spack 0:45 Puff Boy$ 71340 8-1-1
2549 Spack 0:51 Mondu $382980 8-2-0
2550 Mondu 4:30 Zipfa $ 74000 9-1-0
----------------------------------------------
Totals $583850 44-13-3
Slasher is looking great this year. His sharp
exterior is in fine form, as he demonstrated last
April at the Glaron Nationals when he decapitated
three fans and a journalist from Gnarsh. The Slash
is turning out to be as good a businessman as he
is a fighter. He has just signed a lucrative
contract with Galactic Ginsu, and his chain of
Slasher's Slash 'N Burn Cutlery 'N Camping stores
has grown to 200.
Edwina
Rank #7
Kicks: Left Punches: Left
Special Moves: Mohawk
Wt: 115 kgms. Ht: 2.3 meters
Age: 29 solars
Hometown: Andromeda 9
Professional Fight Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2534 Spack 3:27 Puff Boy$ 10080 2-8-0
2536 Spack 0:23 Freezer $ 16040 7-3-0
2537 Glurst 3:17 Freezer $ 28090 7-2-1
2538 Glurst 5:22 Stump $ 13440 6-3-1
2545 Cystbol 0:47 Jax $ 14030 5-2-3
2546 Nukito 0:12 Scorpion$ 11200 4-5-1
2547 Spack 0:33 Zipfa $ 189930 3-7-0
2548 Mondu 0:32 Zipfa $ 12640 5-5-0
2549 Mondu 3:04 Mondu $ 8880 4-4-2
2550 Mondu 1:10 Colonoid$ 5600 4-5-1
----------------------------------------------
Totals $309930 47-44-9
Known as the "First Lady of the Fight Palaces,"
Edwina has had a colorful career. Her brash
comments to the press and her quaint rallying
cry of "Let me tear you a new one" have kept
her on the minds of fight fans everywhere. Last
season she beat Mondu the Fat himself in one
of the controversial "fledgling fights." Edwina
hangs out with the hot band Lupo the Butcher and
is known for slam dancing the night away before
and after her bouts.
Colonoid
Rank #2
Kicks: Both Punches: Both
Special Move: The Blob
Wt: 105 kgms. Ht: 2.2 meters
Age: Unknown
Hometown: None (Test Tube)
Professional Fight Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2545 Glurst 1:00 Edwina $280560 10-0-0
2546 Cystbol 0:56 Zipfa $ 56000 7-2-1
2547 Nukito 1:06 Scorpion$133500 9-1-0
2548 Spack 0:59 Rex $160090 8-1-1
2549 Mondu 0:25 Rex $200240 10-0-0
2550 Mondu 4:44 Borehead$274000 9-1-0
----------------------------------------------
Totals $1104390 71-8-2
This wacky fellow likes to form himself in the
shape of a small taxi--and then engulf and eat
the unsuspecting tourists who hail him for rides.
Look for Colonoid to be as antisocial as ever
this year as he plots ways to defeat the top-ranked
Fatman. Colonoid is recovering from a devastating
incident after last season, when half of his right
shoulder split off from the colony and delcared
itself an independent neo-syndicratic religious
commune. In the ensuing warfare, the Colonoid almost
supressed himself into oblivion.
Freezer
Rank #8
Kicks: Left Punches: Left
Special Move: Ice Kick
Wt: 120 kgms. Ht: 2.2 meters
Age: 54 solars
Hometown: Cyberia, Pluton
Professional Fight Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2546 Spack 1:00 Zorko $ 15000 6-2-2
2547 Nukito 0:57 Rex $ 60670 8-2-0
2548 Mondu 2:21 Stump $ 29000 6-3-1
2549 Spack 1:29 Jax $ 99070 8-1-1
2550 Cinci 4:03 Behemoth$ 22010 4-5-1
----------------------------------------------
Totals $225750 32-13-5
This heinous individual, who once tried to sell
his mother for a case of Cool Ranch tortilla chips,
is currently wanted in fourteen systems for multiple
violations of Galactic code 34.546: Assault with
intent to turn into a popsicle. Freezer is freshly
recovered from his epic confrontation with Flamer,
a fight that destroyed 17 ecosystems and devastated
thousands of acres of lush woodlands.
Rubic
Rank #9
Kicks: Both Punches: Both
Special Move: Expando Kick
Wt: 210 kgms. Ht: 2.2 meters
Age: 3 solars
Hometown: Lethal Systems Inc.
Professional Fight Palace Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2548 Mondu 1:00 Behemoth$ 75800 9-1-0
2549 Nukito 1:44 Stump $ 98990 10-0-0
2550 Mondu 3:22 Rex $ 2000 1-9-0
----------------------------------------------
Totals $176790 20-10
Rubic had a difficult time last year. Several
software bugs were discovered in his personality
ROMS. These caused him to think at times that
he was a long extinct Cocker Spaniel, a small kitchen
appliance and a ball peen hammer. In addition, he was
infected with a virus which deleted most of his left
leg. He has since undergone a complete software
upgrade, and should prove to be a much stronger
fighter this year.
Rex
Rank #10
Kicks: Right Punches: Right
Special Move: Death Kick
Wt: 105 kgms. Ht: 2.2 meters
Age: 36 solars
Hometown: Los Angeles, California, Earth
Professional Fight Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2546 Spack 1:25 Jax $ 22360 4-6-0
2547 Spack 2:09 Puff Boy$ 3000 2-8-0
2548 Cystbol 0:52 Borehead$ 14780 3-7-0
2549 L.A. 6:40 Edwina $ 17030 4-6-0
2550 Mondu 5:16 Freezer $ 24500 6-4-0
----------------------------------------------
Totals $ 81670 19-31
Rex's hobbies are martial arts, electric guitar,
and eating small furry animals raw. A graduate
of Harvard University, he recently received his
Ph.D in Classical Torture and Dwarf Tossing. In
addition, Rex holds the Earth record for the Most
Decapitations in a Single Year. Despite his
unassuming appearance, Rex has surprised many
opponents with his tendancy to go beserk any time
anyone insults the San Fancisco 49ers.
Puff Boy
Rank #3
Kicks: Both Punches: Right
Special Move: The Pea Shooter
Wt: 400 kgms. Ht: 2.3 meters
Age: 300 solars
Hometown: Puftar
Professional Fight Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2541 Cystbol 2:55 Trebor $ 9050 6-4-0
2542 Cystbol 3:44 Freezer $130650 8-2-0
2543 N.Y. 0:19 Stump $ 30170 6-5-1
2544 Spack 0:38 Jax $169120 9-1-0
2545 Spack 0:42 Zipfa $ 70650 5-5-0
2546 Mondu 3:06 Borehead$ 73880 4-4-2
2547 Nukito 4:51 Hydroid $ 40020 7-2-1
2548 Mondu 2:08 Zorko $ 38000 8-1-0
2549 Spack 6:53 Colonoid$200030 9-1-1
2550 Mondu 0:17 Scorpion$ 40500 5-5-0
----------------------------------------------
Totals $802070 67-30-5
Known on his home planet as the "Boy Wonder,"
Puff Boy is currently ranked #rd in the Galactic
Press Top 20. His nickname derives from the
fact that he is only 78 years old, a mere babe
by Puftar standards. Decidedly cynical and
aloof, he is a true "Puff Without a Cause," who
rides a Harley and smokes harsh, unfiltered cig-
arettes. Puff boy had his best season ever last
year, defeating Slasher, Scorpion, Colonoid and
fighting Hydroid to a draw. This year was marred,
however, by his close loss to Trebor.
Behemoth
Rank #4
Kicks: Both Punches: Left
Special Move: Gasser
Wt: 390 kgms.
Age: 60 solars
Hometown: Sanitation Lab, Antares
Professional Fight Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2544 Cystbol 3:32 Zorko $ 10600 7-1-2
2545 Cystbol 1:47 Freezer $189450 8-2-0
2546 N.Y. 0:15 Trebor $ 35900 6-4-0
2547 Spack 1:38 Jax $124450 9-1-0
2548 Spack 0:41 Zipfa $ 20650 5-5-0
2549 Mondu 1:19 Borehead$173880 9-1-0
2550 Mondu 0:19 Edwina $140500 9-0-1
----------------------------------------------
Totals $695430 53-14-3
Recently given the lead role in Megagalactic's
new holo-version of Romeo and Juliet, Behemoth
is clearly capitalizing on his fight palace fame.
Efforts are underway to boost his intelligence
through judicious injections of Yak hormones.
Behemoth (or just "The Hemoth" as he's known
by his legions of admirers) continues to do well
in the fight palaces. Behemoth's "Gasser" is
sponsored by fifteen corporations, including
Galactic Natural Gas and Dr. Skoler's Odor
Eaters.
Stump
Rank #6
Kicks: Right Punches: Right
Special Move: Spitter
Wt: 400 kgms. Ht: .9 meters
Age: 42 Solars
Hometown: Bulkar
Professional Fight Palace Record:
Year Palace Time Opponent Purse Record
----------------------------------------------
2543 Cystbol 0:52 Edwina $ 4000 5-4-1
2544 L.A. 0:48 Slasher $ 17000 5-3-2
2545 Cinci 1:11 Colonoid$ 21050 7-3-0
2546 Spack 0:59 Freezer $ 60000 4-6-0
2547 Nukito 0:38 Scorpion$ 71010 8-2-0
2548 Glurst 1:34 Hydroid $ 48090 5-1-4
2549 L.A. 5:15 Zorko $ 70550 7-3-0
2550 Mondu 6:17 Trebor $ 98160 9-0-1
----------------------------------------------
Totals $389860 50-22-8
The Bulgar champion, Stump beleives in "high
fiber, good scotch, the hanging curveball and
long, slow face-smashings that last three days."
Stump has had a complex ever since losing to
Mondu-the-Fatman in 2087, when he was the victim
of the famous "Tongue-Lashing Where the Sun Don't
Shine." The tabloids have made a big deal over
the bad blood between Stump and Mondu. Apparently,
Mondu denied Stump a management position at his
fledgling fight palace in 2549, marking "Fighting:
10, Brains: 1" on Stump's evaluation. Watch for
Stump to be a strong contender for the Galactic
Title this year.
After you get done with the Fatman you go on to the wager stand, pretty straightforward. Then, you go to Dr. Kadavver's you can only view weapons you can afford, but make sure you goo through all the screens because the last screen is a special arrival, and can sometimes be quite helpful.
ALWAYS take some weapons into the fight pit, because your opponent will.
Fighting is a bit tricky. You have sixteen moves, but they all come from one joystick or the keyboard
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Joystick
!
Shove Jump High Kick ! Punch High Kick Punch
!
!
Forward + Back ! Special + Back
! Move Flip
!
Throw Duck Low Block ! Forward Low Kick Flip
! Flip Opposite
! Direction
!
(fire button up) (fire button pressed)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keyboard
7 8 9 !
!
! same thing with '0' or
! enter key held down
!
4 6 !
! '5' + 1,7,9 or 3
! activates weapon
! (5 + diagonal moves
1 2 3 ! on a joystick)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
If there are two players, WER UIO
SDF JKL
XCV M,. pseudo-keypads are used.
That's all you NEED to know, the rest will be learned the hard way. One tip: run the demo first by typing FATMAN /DEMO at the prompt. You'll see how your opponents operate in combat, gooood graphix!
And remember the next time YOU'RE uploading software, send the docs!
...END OF LINE
"My God, it's full of stars"
