Conspiracy Nation Vol. 10 Num. 56

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Conspiracy Nation

 · 4 years ago

  

 
              Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 10  Num. 56 
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                     ("Quid coniuratio est?") 
  
  
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STRANGE NEWS 
============ 
  
I call this issue "Strange  News"  due  to  the  source  for  the 
following:   "The Weekly World News" (5/20/97), available at fine 
grocery stores everywhere.   Due  to  the  nature  of the source, 
readers are advised to take that  into  consideration  when  they 
evaluate what follows. 
  
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Cuba:   A dishwasher was caught urinating on a hamburger intended 
for Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.   The dishwasher fled the scene, 
but when Fidel heard about it he ordered that the man  be  caught 
and  executed.  The dishwasher was subsequently captured and shot 
dead. 
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South Africa:  A  company  in  this  African  nation is marketing 
"Wondercuffs," an electronic monitoring device which  the  parent 
slips  around their teenager's ankle.  If the teen wanders beyond 
a predefined radius (up to 6 miles), the device phones the parent 
and the parent can immediately  speak  with  the teen and ask him 
why he's outside the perimeter. 
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Los  Angeles:   "Boomerang   bullets"   are   being  slipped,  by 
"undercover agents,"  into  boxes  of  ordinary  ammunition  sold 
illegally on the street.  The bullets are designed to turn around 
in mid-air and kill whoever fires the gun. 
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Utah:   A  "Professor  Lloyd  Cuningdale"  has  unearthed  a time 
capsule left by the Donner  party  in 1847.  The Donner party was 
trapped by heavy snow and when their food ran out  they  resorted 
to  cannibalism  to stay alive.  Reportedly they made predictions 
as they sat around munching  on  human flesh.  Among the reported 
predictions: 
** The American Civil War 
** The sinking of the Titanic 
** In 1960 a Catholic would be elected  President  but  would  be 
killed by conspirators. 
**  Economic  disaster:  "First in 1929 and again in 1998...  The 
rich men will become poor." 
** January 1999: Lucifer comes to earth. 
** Aliens invade in 2004 
** Biological  weapons,  and  specifically  one killer biological 
weapon, will kill us all in 2016. 
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Houston:   Dr.  Marvin  Greib,  a  former  consultant  to   NASA, 
supposedly  has leaked part of a transcript of conversations made 
by astronauts on board  the  *Discovery*  space ship.  Two of the 
astronauts reportedly talk about seeing "at least  100,000  'huge 
glowing spacecraft' flying in formation around the Earth."  Greib 
claims   the  intent  of  the  alien  spacecrafts  is  "warlike." 
Apparently the attack will come  by Christmas.  Hey!  Don't those 
aliens know they're supposed  to  wait  until  2004  before  they 
attack!  (See previous story.) 
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Coos  Bay,  Oregon:   An  alien  spacecraft  has  washed  ashore. 
According  to  "noted  bio-physicist" Dr. William Labbash, he and 
his  staff  have  concluded  it  is  "indeed  an extraterrestrial 
spacecraft."  Labbash reportedly will not disclose whether or not 
any corpses of space beings were found.  And "insiders" say  that 
President  Bill  Clinton  is "very concerned" -- as if he doesn't 
have enough already to worry about! 
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Bangkok, Thailand:  Police are  now  using dwarfs instead of dogs 
to sniff for drugs.  "Nobody knows why, but those little guys can 
sniff out a cache of drugs  better  than  any  dog  ever  could," 
reportedly states a Thai cop. 
  
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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt. 
Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et  
  pauperem.                    -- Liber Proverbiorum  XXXI: 8-9