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Conspiracy Nation Vol. 10 Num. 78
Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 10 Num. 78
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("Quid coniuratio est?")
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EPA SEEKS BAN ON BACKYARD BARBECUES
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A proposal "going through final review at the Environmental
Protection Agency and the White House calls for a ban on the use
of charcoal or gas grills for outdoor cooking." (WWN, 7/22/97)
An Associated Press article backs the claim: "...barbecuing has
become a smouldering target in the sizzling debate over whether
to clamp down further on air pollution... 'Some federal
officials are proposing restrictions on the use of charcoal and
gas grills used for cooking...'"
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Oppressed Wives Demand: "Husbands Must Be Castrated."
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Oppressed womyn of America, already abused by sex attacks from
space aliens (CN 10.66), are also having to endure cheating
husbands. So they are striking a blow for sisterhood by issuing
this ultimatum to philandering husbands: "Either it's divorce,
or it's chemical castration." And, according to WWN, hundreds of
married men are now going to doctors for castration rather than
face divorce. Some womyn are even insisting on pre-nuptial
agreements in which the future husbands promise "to have
themselves chemically castrated if ever caught in an adulterous
affair." (WWN, 7/22/97)
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CIA Detaining 3-Year-Old Psychic Girl?
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Supposedly, the CIA is holding a 3-year-old psychic girl and
intensely questioning her. Little Betty Runcet reportedly
predicted the OKC bombing, says WWN (7/22/97). But if she is
3-years-old now, she would have been 1-year old in 1995, when the
OKC tragedy occurred: so how does a 1-year-old express her
prediction about an imminent terrorist attack? Yet Brad Culdaur,
who says he is a former CIA agent, insists that it's true.
Future predictions by the "amazing" 3-year-old include...
** 8/22/97 -- a nuclear disaster in southwestern U.S.
** 12/19/97 -- terrorists bomb Washington, DC
** 1/12/98 -- in Europe, a major assassination.
We'll see.
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Alleged Love Child of JFK To Tour College Campuses
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Weekly World News (WWN), in the past, has reported that
President John F. Kennedy is still alive. Supposedly he is more
or less a vegetable. Now, reportedly, Elizabeth Mortenson is
claiming to be the daughter of JFK and Marilyn Monroe. Ms.
Mortenson reportedly "is planning a fall speaking tour of college
campuses in which she will tell her life story in the hope that
JFK will catch wind of her crusade and go public..." Coming soon
to a college near you.
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North Koreans Turn To Cannibalism
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North Korea *is* having problems with food shortages at the
moment. But according to an article in WWN, many North Koreans
are so bad off they are digging up corpses and eating them.
Reportedly, some are even committing murder to keep from
starving.
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Troubled Teens Dying From Cow Manure Sniffing
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Latest craze among teens is reportedly sniffing cow manure to
get high. Methane gas released from decaying "cow pies" is
supposedly intoxicating. Ms. Tammi Factos, president of Mothers
Against Manure, charges that "manure sniffing has reached
epidemic proportions." (Sure, what do you expect, now that the
kids can't get marijuana?) Dangers include permanent brain
damage and even death.
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(Source for the preceding has been "The Weekly World News" (WWN),
available at fine grocery stores everywhere. Due to the nature
of the source, readers are advised to take that into
consideration when they evaluate this issue of CN.)
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
For related stories, visit:
http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html
http://feustel.mixi.net
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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt.
Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et
pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9
