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Conspiracy Nation Vol. 10 Num. 66
Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 10 Num. 66
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("Quid coniuratio est?")
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Enraged Feminists Demand
"SEX ATTACKS BY SPACE ALIENS MUST STOP!"
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(Source for the following is "The Weekly World News" (WWN),
available at fine grocery stores everywhere. Due to the nature
of the source, readers are advised to take that into
consideration when they evaluate what follows.)
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"We're fed up with space aliens abducting women and subjecting
them to filthy attacks," said Anita Kless, 42, head of an action
group called Earth Women Against Alien Brutality. (WWN, 5/27/97)
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Tokyo -- Japanese employers are allegedly killing some of their
unproductive workers. Here is how the "termination" process is
said to work: Workers get evaluated every six months. If their
rating is too low, they are put on probation. If a subsequent
rating remains sub-standard, the employee is summoned to a
special office. It is suggested to him that the "honorable" act
he must do is jump out the window, to his death. If he refuses
to cooperate, security guards are summoned and, reportedly, he is
thrown out the window. (WWN, 5/27/97)
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Satanic forces are allegedly taking over the music business,
"just like there are evil people who try to influence other
businesses all over the world." (WWN, 5/27/97)
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"Monkeypox," a virus reported to have a long incubation period
(carriers at first difficult to detect) may soon spread from
Africa to the United States. The disease is reportedly deadly.
(WWN, 5/27/97)
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News of an anti-gravity machine comes from London, where
scientists say they have used an extremely powerful magnetic
field to levitate a frog. Nottingham University physics
professor Peter Main claims the magnetic field counteracts
gravity. (WWN, 6/3/97)
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Latest yuppie craze is reportedly paying $5 entrance fee to watch
public executions -- beheadings -- in Saudi Arabia. (WWN, 6/3/97)
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Cloning has allegedly been used to replicate an alien, using
cells taken from an extraterrestrial killed in the 1947 UFO crash
near Roswell, New Mexico. UFO researcher Adrian McCourt
reportedly learned of the project from a source inside the Area
51 facility in Nevada. (WWN, 6/3/97)
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Gang members in the Bronx, New York, are reportedly heavily
armed, with weapons said to include Uzi submachine guns,
bazookas, and grenade launchers. (WWN, 6/3/97)
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In Los Angeles, some parents are reportedly using electronic
collars to restrict their children. The device goes around the
child's neck. If he or she tries to cross an invisible
electronic perimeter, an electric shock is received. (WWN,
6/10/97)
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A strange disease being reported in Africa softens hipbones until
victims cannot stand upright. The disease, at present, is
confined locally, amongst the Zulu tribe. "It is one of the
greatest medical mysteries I know of," claims Dr. Hannes Both of
Cape Town. (WWN, 6/10/97)
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Reports of space aliens sighted at the former Heaven's Gate
headquarters in San Diego, site of the alleged "mass suicide."
Law enforcement officials reportedly have been "besieged with
calls telling of low-flying spacecraft" in the area. (WWN,
6/10/97)
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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt.
Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et
pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9
