Conspiracy Nation Vol. 11 Num. 23

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Conspiracy Nation

 · 4 years ago

  

 
              Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 11  Num. 23 
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                     ("Quid coniuratio est?") 
  
  
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BILL CLINTON: A LAUGH RIOT 
========================== 

            "Wee Willie Clinton runs all around. 
            He's uptown, downtown, in his night-gown." 

"Wow!  Hubba-hubba!  Look at  that chick!" exclaims Governor Bill 
Clinton (Arkansas) to an Arkansas State  Police  bodyguard.   "Go 
get her! I'll be up in my hotel room." 

Paula  Jones,  a  state  employee,  is  summoned to meet with the 
then-Governor of  her  state.   She  enters  Bill Clinton's hotel 
room.  The door is closed behind her.  By  way  of  introduction, 
Bill  Clinton says, "You sure are a fox!  Have you ever 'done it' 
with a real live Governor before!?" 

She is embarrassed.   The  smooth  young  Governor makes his next 
move.  He pulls down his pants  and  exposes  his  erect  member. 
"Kiss it," he commands. 

Bill  Clinton's penis must have been erect.  A sworn affidavit by 
Ms.  Jones,  as  reported  in  the  Washington  Times (10/15/97), 
describes the "distinguishing characteristic" of  Bill  Clinton's 
penis  as  "a  distinctly  angled  bend visible when the penis is 
erect." 

In 1969-74 we had "Tricky  Dick"  Nixon.  Today, we have "Crooked 
Dick" Clinton. 

Governor Bill did not "score" with Paula Jones, but he  has  been 
lucky  with  numerous other sexual "conquests."  For example, the 
leonine Lothario had  a  jolly  time  with  former Miss Arkansas, 
Sally Perdue. Says Ms. Perdue: 

  When I see him now, president of the United States, meeting 
  world leaders, I can't believe it...   I  still  have  this 
  picture of him, wearing my black nightgown, playing the sax 
  badly;  this  guy,  tiptoeing  across  the park and getting 
  caught on the fence.   How  do  you  expect  me to take him 
  seriously?  (Spotlight, 2/7/94) 

So you see, Sally Perdue even still gets a chuckle from  our  Mr. 
Bill. 

Bill  did  another funny thing one time when he needed a haircut. 
He was President and in Air Force One, on the runway.  But it was 
time for a haircut!  Bill Clinton  must  have had a laugh when he 
caused air traffic to grind to a halt while a barber was  brought 
aboard.  "Snip, snip, snip," went the barber's shears; "Haw, haw, 
haw,"  laughed  Bill Clinton as he lorded it over delayed airline 
passengers. 

Now Bill Clinton is down  in  South America.  Prior to arrival in 
Brazil, the Clinton team asked the entire nation of Brazil, equal 
in size to the continental United States, to temporarily  suspend 
daylight  savings  time.  (Brazil is in the southern hemisphere.) 
Brazil was asked to go back  to  standard time while Big Bill was 
there so that the laugh-a-minute leader's  "scheduling"  problems 
would be eased. (Electronic Telegraph, 10/14/97) 

In  Brazil  on October 14th, the Brazilian people tried to get in 
on the fun our chief  executive inspires.  Crowds threw manure on 
Bill Clinton's  limousine  as  it  snaked  through  the  city  of 
Brasilia.  (AP 10/14/97) The practical joke did not seem to anger 
Bill,  who was not "burned up" about it.  But when the Brazilians 
next burned  Clinton  in  effigy,  he  must  have been wondering, 
"What's funny about that?" 

Next stop is Argentina for the  big,  goofy  guy  from  Arkansas. 
After  that,  who  knows?   Bet  on  this:   there's  bound to be 
laughs-a-plenty! 

 +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  +  + 

For related stories, visit: 
http://www.shout.net/~bigred/cn.html 
http://feustel.mixi.net 

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Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et  
  pauperem.                    -- Liber Proverbiorum  XXXI: 8-9