What is that they call emotional intelligence ?
Index
- Did you hear about emotional intelligence?
- What do you know about emotional intelligence?
- How to develop emotional intelligence
- Why do our emotions govern us?
- Do you know how to handle conflicts?
- What is emotional maturity?
- Tips for developing healthy relationships
1. Did you hear about Emotional Intelligence ?
Everywhere you hear that you must know how to manage your emotions to improve your relationships, but what is that they call emotional intelligence? They tell you that it influences your personal, family or professional relationships, however, few have told you what it is and If you are prepared to face the conflicts of everyday life, on the street, at home, at work, on the bus, when crossing the street or when driving.
Wherever you go you meet people who do not respect your space and lack courtesy, have no empathy, consider that their rights are more important than yours and forget that their right ends where your right begins.
Our ego prevents us from recognizing our limitations and shortcomings, it makes up our shortcomings with a kind of mask of solemnity that invites us to believe ourselves superior or better than others and thus satisfy our need for recognition.
We forget humility, respect and generosity as elementary norms of healthy coexistence.
2. What do you know about emotional intelligence?
Let me tell you that emotional intelligence is a set of qualities that will allow you to self-lead and relate to your environment in a fluid and conscious way, as a consequence you can come to enjoy tranquility and harmony, which is what we seek…. Peace of mind ... if you manage to understand and understand others, without judgment or prejudice, with respect for the individuality of each person, because, I am sure you want to be respected, that your criteria, that your space, that you as a person want to enjoy of respect, that is precisely what all people want, however, to receive you have to give, you must sow to reap.
Accept each person as they are, be tolerant of different criteria from yours, be empathetic (which is basically putting yourself in the other person's place).
I invite you to challenge yourself and to practice self-control, a very valuable quality that if you do not know how to cultivate it, you will inevitably be directed to make terrible mistakes, which can become irreparable
Maybe you forget that some actions committed cannot be repaired with a "sorry" and broken or destroyed relationships will not be the same as before an action or decision made.
3. I believe in you, develop your emotional intelligence ?
I know that changing your life habits and behavior involves a whole process, you must be willing to re-discover yourself and develop qualities such as self-discipline, it implies maturing and being self-critical so that you identify your strengths, as well as your weaknesses, the latter will be your starting point to build your new self, I guarantee that this path will be full of joy, because you will see that you are capable of surpassing yourself
In the process you will fill the gaps that the lack of training and love of the first years have left in you, I know that you are capable of learning and facing yourself, I believe that you will courageously assume the consequences of your actions, you have full rights to recognize that you are wrong and that for that reason you are not a bad person.
You are the owner of the change in your life, and you can build from today the best version of you, the path that I propose will not be easy and you must be aware that it is a process of complete reconstruction of your being, which can last for years Because bad habits take root and replacing them is difficult, it is a job that is done one day at a time.
I invite you to forgive yourself for failing if you have, get rid of self-compassion, do not blame others for your wrong decisions and your sins, take responsibility, only then can you evolve and emerge as a new person, wiser and more aware of your reality, only then can you control your emotions and prevent them from ruling you.
I know that you will succeed and you will be able not only to conquer your frustrations and fears, but you will be able to take charge of your life to your satisfaction and the rejoicing of your soul, only in this way, you will be free from prejudices and limiting paradigms, because ... I believe in you.
4. Why do our emotions govern us ?
Have you ever asked yourself this question? Maybe on some occasion. People are the result of what we have experienced in our environment and from our childhood to adulthood.
Do you know what emotion dominates your life? It can be: guilt, anger, fear, ambition and the desire to have a lot of money, resentment, the need to be accepted by others, or maybe you are a perfectionist and very Critical, perhaps, you are happy with what you have, you accept others as they are, you are tolerant of all differences, thoughts and ways of life, etc.
The blame
This is present when you remember events from your past your childhood or traumas for something you did that you have not been able to overcome and it does not let you be free.
Anger and resentment.
Surely you have seen people who, before any provocation, totally lose control and cannot control their anger, causing a very unpleasant image for those who observe it and a very deep pain for their loved ones.
The fear
This can paralyze you and prevent you from making important decisions, you can even put your life at risk because it is so strong that it does not allow you to react, the fearful person never tries something new for fear of failure or what they will say.
The excessive ambition
Maybe you want to have a lot of material things, because you believe that happiness depends 100% on the amount of money and wealth that a person has, but, remember, money is necessary, very necessary, however, you do not buy happiness, there are hundreds or thousands of cases of people who have even stolen to satisfy their desire and ambition, but still do not fill the emptiness of their soul, because they do not have what is important, which is the value of themselves, love, dignity, honesty, in a word integrity that means: do the right thing even if nobody looks at you or knows that you have done it,
5. Do you know how to handle conflicts?
Has it happened to you that your friend tells you how fat you are ?, or your partner says "I don't like you snoring", you feel upset or offended and then you react defensively or say something aggressive in response, these are usually natural reactions , primary instinct, however, there are ways to deal with and manage conflicts or differences that may arise in interpersonal relationships, undoubtedly, you can also have internal conflicts and hurt or belittle yourself with expressions such as, what a fool I am, I am a brute, how clumsy I am; Thus, you do not help yourself in anything, on the contrary you damage your self-esteem, you must know that we all make mistakes, that way you learn to improve yourself.
When it comes to conflicts with other people, there are mechanisms to reconcile that can make a conflict a great opportunity to improve your relationship with others.
It is very useful to analyze the reasons that gave rise to the conflict, in addition, focus on the problem not on the other person, avoid judging others and listen to the reasons that they expose you, let them explain, when you speak avoid the offensive phrases or obscenities that they will only increase the levels of conflict, it is a good idea to use expressions such as, I feel, it seems to me, I can understand how you feel; express your arguments clearly and in a calm tone this will contribute to improving communication, non-body language such as gestures with your hands or turning your eyes in a plan of superiority do not help anything, be generous and speak gracefully, that is, be generous with the other person, speak to him with kindness although he does not deserve it, in this way you will demonstrate a genuine interest in the other person and you will surely improve your relationship with others.
I know that all of the above is difficult, but I guarantee that if you manage to do it you will feel better and lessen the conflicts in your personal relationships.
Here are some additional tips so you can handle conflicts
Tips for resolving conflicts
- Keep calm
- Decide what are the results you want to obtain from the dispute
- You have to be willing to give in
- Listen to others
- Avoid personal attacks
- Unlink yourself from the result
- Once it's over, forget it.
6. What is emotional maturity ?
Emotional maturity is a term that is used to define those people who can control their emotions, know how to control themselves, they have a filter that allows them to be very empathetic and analyze the consequences of their words and actions, in this way they can have relationships healthy, with their family, their partner, with their children, their friends, at work, that is, they have a high level of consciousness.
The mature person loves himself and therefore can love others, he is generous, humble and knows how to give in, you have asked yourself: how are you emotionally? How do others see you? In general, you do not stop to think about it and assume that you are a great guy, everyone loves you…. but ... you can be very wrong.
7. Tips for developing healthy relationships
It is in my interest that you do not make many mistakes that I have made in recent years, for that reason I share some habits that will be very useful for you to maintain healthy relationships.
Think before speaking and put yourself in the other person's place, analyze if what you are going to say is going to contribute something positive.
Take a deep breath ... it sounds funny, but it really helps you do 10 or 20 deep breaths with your eyes closed, you will see how that allows you to connect with yourself and decrease your anger levels.
Express what bothers you, focus on the fact or the reason for your displeasure and express it without using offensive words and in a measured tone.
Invest time in cultivating relationships with loved ones, you can assume that your children, your mother or your wife know that you love them but you do not show it with facts and less with words, that lack of expressiveness and details deteriorates relationships and you will lose without realise the love of your loved ones.
As much as possible be assertive, accept the criteria of others, even if you do not agree with how they think, the criteria of others are as respectable as yours, give to receive, sow to reap excellent relationships.
