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The Land of Else 05
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ݱ15 Mar 90±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±_ROR_-_ALUCARD_±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Ý? Þ°
Ý Ý A Þ°
Ý SHROOM05 - A Trip To The Wonderous WOnDerlAnD Ý ?Þ°
Ý Of Wildcat A ßßßßß°
Ý Tfile Þ°
Ý Travelled By: Doctor Murdock Distribution Þ°
ÜÜÜÜÜ & Centere Þ°
Ý? Þ Sir Death - RoR - Þ°
Ý A Þ_____________________________________________________________________Þ°
Ý ?Þ Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.úúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúÞ°
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°°°The Pirates' Hollow - 415/236/2371°°The Electric Pub - 415/236/4380°°°°
°Primary Drop Sites°°°°°°Rat Head - 415/524/3649°°°°°Primary Drop Sites°°°
SHROOM05 - A Trip Through The Wonderous WOnDerlAnD of Wildcat!
03/15/90
Travellers: Doctor Murdock & Sir Death
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As you exit your car at the base of the hill, and what looks to
be a fire entrance to Wildcat canyon, you notice a tall, old man standing past
the gate. You get out of your car, lock it up, take one last look at the card
you found on the ground the other day which led you to this point:
" TWWOW ~ Mind Expansion Guarenteed, or your sanity back!
Alligators in Wildcat? See for yourself....
RoR - Alucard "
You put the card back in your pocket and start up to the gate. A reach the
entrance and take a closer look at the old man. He's about 6'7", he is
wearing an old british street cap that is pulled down over most of his face,
but you can make out that he has short grey hair. He is very thin and is
wearing a trench coat. You start to pass by him but he reaches out and grabs
your shoulder with an icy steel grip. "Are you a seeker of Else?", he asks.
He lift his hat up and looks into your eyes. His eyes are as grey as his hair
and are mezmorizing. You feel a powerfull force compeling you to say
yes....you do, "Y-y-yes....."
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a very large mushroom. As he hands
it to you you notice a tattoo on his hand, which reads ~RoR~ ....
"Partake of the fruit, traveller......"
The same force that made you answer the old man, makes your eat the mushroom
right then and there. The old man reach inside his jacket, pulls out a peice
of paper and a pen, and hands them to you...
<note: See file CONTRACT.TRP to see the contents of the paper....>
"Sign, here....."
You sign and hand the papers back to him. He throws you a small grin and
then returns to whatever he was doing before you arrived...
"Enjoy your trip.....beware of the Alligators...."
You walk the rest of the way down the dirt path, and end up on a
cement road which cuts off into several directions. You decide to take the
path that leads up the hillside. The path is asphalt and is what appears to
be an old road. You start up the hill. You eventually reach the top of the
hill and another gate. There is a clip chain on the gate and a sign which
reads:
KEEP GATE CLOSED
You unclip the gate, open it, enter, close it, clip the chain back on...just
as the sign said. Your fingers begin to tingle...you wonder if it is because
of the mushroom you ate. You continue up the hill and wonder if you'll find
anything, and also wonder just what it is your looking for. You reach a very
large, and flat pasture....there are about 8 cows eating grass and doing
miscellaneous thing here (whatever cows do, you know...). You see a path that
leads through the middle of the pasture and decide to take it. You walk right
on through being carefull not to step in any large cow pies. The path
continues up a very steep hill and ends at the top of this small mountain.
You get to the top, slightly out of breath and turn around. It is a
magnificent view of the Bay Area and it's a beautifully clear day. After
about 20 seconds of gazing at this stunning view, you notice an abrupt change
come over you!
<SHIFT OUT!>
"Excuse me, Sir......Sir? Sir, excuse me....."
You hear a voice and turn around to see a short man that incredibally
resembles an......an....an Elf? Yes, an Elf. He's wearing a brown hat that
is about 6 times too big for his head. He's hold what looks to be some sort
of a walking stick. Next to him there is what seems to be about 6 Pit Bulls
of various colours chained to a salt lick box.
"Uh....yes?"
"Sir....can I interest you in an Anchor to Reality? I have the very BEST,
don't ya know!? There's nothin like a Pit Bull to keep you chain to the
ground during those viscious peeking hours!"
"Huh? Ummm...."
"Sir...I guarentee you, I have the finest animals you will surely see in the
Land! And for YOU, Sir....only 67bc! Payaball by credit of course...."
"Umm...uh....sure...I guess.....why not?"
"Very well, Sir!! Here..."
The little Elf unchains a dog and hands the end of the chain to you. The
dog seems to anxious about something and waging his tail violently(?).
"Here you go, Sir! Now when you feel that you can handle The Land of Else on
your own , Sir....just remove the chain from the dogs collar and he will
magically return to me....no need worrying yourslef about having to find this
place again to return him! Have fun, Sir....and if you need any assistance be
sure to look up Lucerne, The Mad Mushroom Grower! Goodbye, Sir....and enjoy
your
trip!!"
"Sure.....um..thanx!"
The moment the last word leaves your mouth, the little Elf winks at the Pit
Bull at the end of the chain your holding. The dog imediatly starts running
down the hillside at an alarming rate!! The only thing that passes through
you mind at this moment is the word PAIN. But amazingly you realize that you
begin floating in the air! The dog runs blindlessly through that cow pasture!
Chasing cows and rabbits and basically anything that moves. Your are totally
helpless, but don't seem to mind....after all, it's a great view! You looks
up into the sky and watch the clouds shape-shift within each other...every so
often being jerked about by the Pit Bull on the rampage which your are chain
to.
Evetually you feel yoursefl coming down to Earth a little bit, and you also
notice that the dog has stopped to piss on a bush. So you decide to unchain
him. You do. <POOF!> The dog disapears in a cloud of aqua coloured smoke!
You are totally lost. ABout 15 feet away on a trail you see a signm which
reads:
THE SWAMP
So you decide to follow the trail. All of a sudden a cactus that is on the
side of the trail bends over and asks, "Hey, YOU! You wanna buy some water,
man?"
"Water?"
"Yes...WATER, man. Look...I'll give ya a GREAT deal! 2 grams for 1221bc!
Come on...you won't find this anywhere else, man."
"I'm not thirsty...anyway, you just a plant!"
"What? Oh...so now we're starting the racial jokes, eh? Fine...when your
dying of thirst, don't bother coming to ME, pal..."
"Plants don't talk.....your just figment of my imagination..."
"What imagination? There's no such thing as that here, man. "
"But.....oh it's no use...."
The cactus starts laughing out loud in your face and then slaps you on the
back with one of his leaves.
"Hey, man...you wanna see what I mean? Watch this...."
The cactus plant points down at the city below. The city disapears. The
sky turns yellow. The world spins upside down and swirls vertically for a
moment. The sun goes down and the moon comes up, but it's still light outside.
It's still bright and warm. All of the cows down on the pasture grow
wings...some of them fly off into the the moonset. Some of the trees uproot
and start dancing with each other. SOme of the rocks start rolling uphill.
The cactus laughs and laughs. You starts running down the path, past the
sign. Now everything makes no sense whatsoever.
You see a paper on the ground. You pick it up and see what it is. The title
reads: THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A BLADE OF GRASS. You drop it, thinking what
the use of knowing this information would be..
Uh oh....road sign ahead....road sign ahead! Speeding down the road, gotta
slow down to read the sign, which reads:
REALITY CHECK - REALITY CHECK - 20 Shifts Ahead
Uh, oh....Realit Check....ok, stop and check.
<checking.....checking....checking....checking....>
Nope...NO Reality HERE, pal! Continue...
Have you ever seen a Demon PRince in Else?
Still walking...you hear a loud <SNAP!>. You look around and notice an
Alligator! He smailes at you and the moonlight shines off of one his teeth,
which is gold.
"WE WILL CONTINUE THIS ADVENTURE NEXT TIME WE SOME AMMO! "
- What will YOU do now that there is an Alligator at your feet?
Ask him if he's like some tea??
Pet him?
Give him 100 bc?
WE'LL SEE NEXT TIME! SAME SHROOM FREQUENCY, SAAAAMMEE LAND OF ELSE!
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Rooor
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