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The Land of Else 09
ÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜÜ
ݱ13 Apr 90±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±_ROR_-_ALUCARD_±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Ý? Þ°
Ý friday Ý A Þ°
Ý SHROOM09.DOC Ý ?Þ°
Ý A ßßßßß°
Ý Latex & Lobotomy in The Land of Else Tfile Þ°
Ý Distribution Þ°
ÜÜÜÜÜ Written by: Doctor Murdock Centere Þ°
Ý? Þ X-tra help by: Mr. Miles, Roadster Tom, & Bud - RoR - Þ°
Ý A Þ_____________________________________________________________________Þ°
Ý ?Þ Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions, Inc.úúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúÞ°
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°°°The HQ of SDBP, inc - 415/236/2371°°The Electric Pub - 415/236/4380°°°°
°Primary Drop Sites°°°°°°Rat Head - 415/524/3649°°°°°Primary Drop Sites°°°
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Dr. Daiggers SECRET Underground Laboratory!!!!
Dazzin & Fazzing. Amped as a mutherfucker!
The doctor says I'm Passive Aggressive. ANd ya know, that just pisses me
off!! But hey....what can ya gonna do about it?
Ok, enough iron maiden, lets put on some led zep. <click> <switch> <whirrrrr>
Ah...battle of evermore...good choice.
Oh no...the Invaders are made out of LATEX! What do we do NOW?? I know....we
have to all stand on our heads and chant the Omnibot 2000!! It's our only
chance....
<please hold while we change the water in the tank>
<prerecorded station identification message>
Black Dog! Great song! Hell...what Zep song isn't?
ror, man...ror....
HEY, MAN, YA GOTTA QUARTER?!?
No...leave me be...here...have a magic shroom....
THANX! <gulp!> Whoa. I like that. Boy....I'd buy THAT for a dollar!
<zzzzzooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeee>
Whats this----> P
It's a Purple Worm! Watch out....they sometimes swallow you. If you kill
this worm, ya know what ya get? ha. A purple microdot! What class is this
under? Well, Potions of course! If you blindfold yourself, eat a floating
eye, and quaff a potion of microdot....then you can instantly be teleported to
the Wizard Of Yendor and his Hellhound Phydeaux. And if you repeat this
process, you will find yourself armed with a +7 crysknife and a AC of -18,
and the strength of a god. Repeat the process and you will receive a level
of your own at # 69 filled with about 200 wands of wishing....23 wands of
polymorph, 45 scrolls of taming, 9980 Amulets of Yendor, a tin of floating
eye, 8545 potions of gain level, and 1 piece of gold.
*- Things to do with a Ring of Polymorph control and a ring of Polymorph -*
Turn into a aqua coloured shroom! Which will stand out like a missle base,
when placed in reality. And a young fair girl is bound to come by and pick
you from the ground. And when she sees "Eat Me" written all over your grin.
She will....and then your in control of a magic mushroom inside a brain! What
FUN!
Or turn into a grain of heroin and be shot via hypo needle into some persons
vein! Talk about roller coaster rides! Theres no fun like that!
Or turn into a purple coloured shroom, which Alice is sure to find first.
Then when She reaches down to pick you, pop up and give her a kiss!! I love
doing that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then she'll tell you a secret....
Turn into a Pressed Rat and you can impersonate him at some fancy restaurant
where he is supposed to meet Alice! Then you can meet her!
Turn into a syringe that reads: Shoot Me!
Never get a one way ticket going the wrong way.
=-=-=-
The body bags and little rags
of children torn in two!
The jellied brains of those who remain
put the finger right on YOU!
=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-
We now know the seclusionary zone is to the west.
____
The west......over that-away.....____----->
I have a ssssssssssssstoodabeckar. And I have birds that sing! I have a
burnt out wand of lightning. What? Oh oh. And an engagement ring. Mik Mik
Fizzle Brak, give your dog a beer! Wha! Wha! <screeeeaaaaaamm!> You know
you stuck my arm.... ..... . ..... .. i n t h e w r o n g p l a c e
..
.........y o u s t u p i d w h o r e!
now i'm stuck.
Eye of NEWT? Eye of FLOATING? Eye of CRYSTAL?
I'd buy THAT for a quarter! <smick>
,zoooooooooooonneeeee,
,sssppppaaccee,
,shift,
,out,
.
.
.
.
0
/|\
/ \
"What is that blue stuff dripping on my head?"
It's Magic Mushroom Juice, of course....
Why is it blue?
Why isn't it red? I dUNNO! THEN SHADUP!
So it's eating away at my brain now....should I yell?
No,no,nope,nope...............n.o.
Should clean up the mess, it's
overflowing!!!
Nonononnonononono...leave it!
Could you pass me some water, my brain is on fire.....
No.
Then my brain will bake to a crisp and then where will
I be?
I dunno.....Somewhere Else?
Lord....I never thought of that.
Thats because your brain is on fire.
Ok,ok....I have important and secret things to do
so please leave me alone now.....
Bye........<shift out>
Now.....that I'm alone.....I could roast marshmallows on my head. Hmmm...but
I don't have any marshmallows.
<shift in> - WHy don't you try playing a game?
Huh? What game?
Word Association, of course! Here...ready...set...GO!!!
WORD ASSOCIATION:
hit/fit/fry/die/fall/land/somewhere/else/ha/hah
cow/blue/mushroom/spacey/laurie/led zeppelin/sodimize/whip/chain/bondage
fire/torch/red/cloud/mushroom/bomb/bong/run/run/run/run/run/run
depth/darl/sea/monster/city/mermaid/air/fish/eyeball/cow/birthday
flower/rent/moon/zipper/burger king/tire/pocka-dot/mailbox
drill/head/wire/machine/mind snatchers/addiction/monkey/death
fossil/earth/green/frog/croak/newt/automatic/c-6/ford/afx/sohc/#1
daze/faze/maze/rat/thief/knife/blood/kill/trap/cage/alone/insane/dark/blind
red/dragon/teeth/fire/hot/sun/star/planet/bomb/death/ouch
flipin-at/sttogeba/zilding/ick ick/ror, man/filpogah/lip/ildosnacker/phwip
<WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST FOR STATION IDENTIFICATION AND SANITY CHECK.>
"WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA!!! LOOP LOOP! HAAAAAAAAAA!"
<WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE PASSED YOUR SANITY
CHECK. PLEASE PROCEED THROUGH THE FOLLOWING DOOR...>
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ÚÄÄÄÄ¿ 8 Rabbit
À¿ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ ³ÚÄÄ¿³ Tron has hidden secrets
ÀÄ¿ÀÄÄÄfnordÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ÚÙ³ÚÄÙ³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ of power. Watch this
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ ³³Ú¿³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ continuously. Until
À¿ÀÙÀÙ³ Ú¿ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ thy dnim catches fire.
³ÚÄ¿ ³ ³³ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ ³ Only then can thy find
ÚÄÄ ÚÄÄ / Steeeak! ³³ À¿³ ³³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÙ ³ the magic end wrench.
À¿³ ÀÄ¿ ÄÄÄÄ ³À¿ ³³ ÀÙ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
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I've just digested a kernal of corn......
There are many stages to this procedure, you know......
The ~Landing Party~ Exploration Ration Supply Kit #431-C
1. A Thermose of Instant Ice-Tea
2. 1 Tub of Popcorn (filled)
3. 1 Snickers bar
4. 1 Blueberry Muffin
5. 1 Stellar Crusade Hints booklet
--------------------
Hmmmmmmm.......a very shrubbish planet. I mean to say, it's very flowery.
What I mean is it's very gardinish. Uh, very bushy. What I meant say to say
was, its very rOOoooooooooooooouuuuuuNNNNNNNNNddddddd.
> Scan for Life
Senors show that there is Life, sir!! Closer examination reveals that they
are a highly intelligent species, and in turn are very primitive and evolved.
But it seems that the species has directed it's entire existence to performing
Lobotomies. They have lived this way for so long (approxamently 67.993
billion secro years.) that they have adapted an addiction, and absolutely MUST
perform a lobotomy on a live specimen! If they try to fight the erge, their
body goes into convulsions within a 6 hour period, until it die of heart
failure. So you can see, that living with or next to any of these terrestrial
life forms just may prove hazardous. [Do YOU know your neighbors??] As I was
saying, Captain....because of this species unconditional MUST to lobotomise
live specimen/persons (usually their own race), which has kept total
population of the species, at 12,900 and a half. And very dangerous.
>Hmmmm. Try communicating with them.
I've sent a CPST (Communicating Party Squad Troop).
>Ok.
OH MY GOD!! CAPTAIN, 98% OF THE CREW HAS BEEN LOBOTOMIZED!!!!!!!!
Captain, they ship came back with 13 emotionless zombies and 2 unharmed men.
Lord, that was tragic.
>Send the two unharmed men to debriefing room #77. Send all of the injured
men and de-lobotomize them.
But, Captain...you CAN'T De-Lobotomize someone.
>........oh. Well, send them to Art classes and record all of their works.
Yes, Captain. And may I add....that was a GREAT decision. And shall I inform
their families?
>no. Keep it a very big, dark, secret for years and years. If this got out
we would be demoted down to janitor. This is just like that damn incident
with the genetic limb multiplyer serum.
Yes, terrible lose, Sir.......
>So don't tell a soul. And I'll be monitoring your mail for the next month.
In fact, identify yourself at THIS moment! Switch to Monitors!
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*
HEY, BOZZ MAN! Sorry but all controls are shiftin, man...shiftin!
You're on your own down there.
>Very Well. Please send a Vixen maid up to my room for my daily brain scan.
Oh, and what about the two unharmed soldiers?
Uh....um, they were accidently killed in transport from the docking bay to the
interrogation room. It seems that one of the guard dropped his billy club and
one of the studies tripped on it and fell with a fatal concussion. And as he
was falling down he grabbed onto study #2 and in turn, HE tripped and rolled
down the hallway and was picked up by a Hallway Garbage Drone, who through him
into the Waste shaft. he was shot out into open space, and imploded. It was
as equally a disgusting site to look at, as it was to collect the remains and
dispose of it properly. You see the bloody imploded remains floated right in
front of the pre-school playgroud bubble, the church of valex nuit, the
mayors office, the union for freedom of animals, the senior citizens bingo
tournaments, and the Shawn-Da-Lay Boy newstand on 27th and Hayte.
>Your fired. Please kill yourself imedietely.
Yes, Sir! Goodbye!
<Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttt>
Prologue:
And as it turned out....these lobotomized artists from the
planet GidKrupit manage to construct the Scribes of the Wise Council! Which
now resides in the possession of the goddess Isabeau. Aka: The BIG Book, The
Bible of Else, The Book. All of the artists died off about 100 years ago.
The Gid's tried to duplicate the process but to no avail. So they went back
to the planet of the lobotomizing species, but have yet to even get within 10
feet of a lobotomizer without being dropped to the ground and lobotomized with
the greatest agility, their incisions are cut with fine tune severs, their
stitchings like that of the most professionaly trained surgeon. Not a single
Capture party has succeded! To this day the secrets of Lobotomy remain a
mystery. Is Lobotomy the Answer?
Why of COURSE it is, dood...........................<zone...>
