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The Rat Manual
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Ý Volumn I, Number I, Winter 1989 Tfile Þ°
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~!~ The Rat Manual Volumn I, Number 1 ~!~
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Winter 1989
Acknowledgments.
--------------------
Welcome to The Rat Manual. This file would not be possible, if it were not for
all the Rat's out there, and the incredible volumne of research done here at
RAT HEAD Systems, and elsewhere. I'd particularly like to thank Pressed Rat,
Doctor Murdock, and Reficul for the many hours of research they have
contributed.
RoR-Alucard!
-El Snatcher
Winter, 1989
Rat Manual - Table of Contents
--!-------------------------------------------------------------------------!--
Editor and all around sick bastard: RatSnatcher.
Acknowledgments
Introduction............................................................1-a9q..
The Absolute Truth About The Fossil Pigs................................1-e9z..
How To Make A Green Glacier Ice-Water Bong..............................1-w9d..
The Lyrics to White Rabbit..............................................1-lsd..
Vampire Chick Update....................................................1-a9r..
An Interview With Pressed Rat...........................................1-d8u..
The Killing for Fun-N-Profit posts......................................1-v7j..
Adventures In Horking...................................................1-g7e..
Pain And Punishment Of The Fossil Pigs..................................2-z7i..
Appendix B (The Story of Buck Johnson).................................B-a9a..
Appendix B1 (Suggested Reading).........................................B-s8i..
Appendix C (Boards to call for more Rat Information)...................C-b1x..
--!-------------------------------------------------------------------------!--
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
RoR-Alucard!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
1-a9q Introduction.
--------------------
A full grown Rat can chew it's way through a foot of concrete just to get at a
few cracker crumbs on the other side. Rats will chew through electrical
wiring, metal, and any other obsticals, dangerous or not, to get what they
want. This doesn't mean that they don't give a shit what happens to them.
Rats are well known for their stealth, and quickness of escape. You need to
fool them with poisons that look like food, or powerful traps to catch one, and
it's a rare day when a Rat is taken alive. Of course, I have shot a few that
were in my back yard, but, it always took me several rounds to kill the
bastards.
In this file, i'm not really concerned with real rodents, it's the Rat
state of mind that I want to talk about, sometimes called: The Way of the Rat.
As you will see, developing this rat outlook can be quite useful at times.
Have you ever seen the rain? Have you ever read Cat In The Rain? Do you
want to? Rats control the world. We control the world. Rats take this planet
for everything it's worth, we not only are filthy little pigs, but, we worship
filthy little pigs. Yes, it's true... through the networks, we really have the
power and we use it.
There is no code of ethics, there is no law, there is no right, there is
no bad. Ok well that's sort of a lie. Heh. We do follow a few guide lines.
For instance, Rat's never rat!
Insanity is an obselete concept. It's everywhere these days. We need more
subgroupings of insane people. Every fucking bum looks different to me. I bet
I look different to them too. "RAT" is a good seperate category from general
insanity. Sort of the Insane elite (hahah). If you're fucking twisted and
you can manage to get a computer with a modem, at least you can organize!
That's where bulletin boards come in. Special gathering sites for the most
twisted pigs around. Secret societies consisting of insane people. Do you know
what reading Alice in Wonderland over and over again will do to your brain?
It's called boosting.
So this manual has been put together to inform, and also to spread the
sickness. To teach The Way of The Rat, Rat philosophy, Rat theory, and all the
rest of the shit.
Get yourself a 12-pack of Beer, stretch out and take it all in.
In the words of Doctor Murdock,
"...It's all magic. You might as well sit back and tilt your
head...cuz I'm gonna come riding on my black horse and take
your head with my white steel sword...
Burn baby burn...
Burn in Hell..."
1-e9z
--------------------
<oink> <oink>
<oink> The Absolute Truth About the Fossil Pigs! <oink>
<oink> by Pressed Rat <oink>
Hi there, heathens, and all you froods quite curious about the
Fossil Pigs. I'm here to deliver the gospel, pure and simple. Listen and
be anointed with the everlasting truth!
Although you may not know it, the Screaming Lifeforms are probably
taking a Huge bite out of your otherwise comfy caterpillar-busting ranch
egg kouch potato life. You know that ringing in your ears when you're
trying to think, take a test, or get to sleep? THOSE are the Screaming
Lifeforms at work. They're eating your brain cells at an alarming rate,
and each time they crack another cell membrane inside your little ol'
noodle, they scream with orgasmic pleasure. Since this is occurring at
an incredible speed and there are a humungous number of them, it all
comes together as one low-level whine.
THIS, my friend, is the fundamental theorem of the Fossil Pigs. The
Screaming Lifeforms are a problem that can NOT be solved by ordinary
human reasoning! Notice how the more you think about that annoying ring
in your ears, the louder it gets? Aha! But a solution exists, of course.
That solution, you see, is the Fossil Pigs.
The Fossil Pigs are a small band of prehistoric, petrified, stone
cold dead pig remains. They're mostly skeletal; a few still have a rotting
eyeball or a bit of bristly tail left. They were laid into the ground long,
long ago, before our birth. The WHY is not important here; the fact is
that they have now resurfaced to aid us, the mortal victims of their
arch-enemies, the Screaming Lifeforms. If properly called upon, our
friends the Fossil Pigs will rise up in holy wrath, and send their spectral
minions, the Evil Twin Bunnies, to our rescue.
Now listen closely, true believers or not. There has been a LOT of
speculation about the Evil Twin Bunnies (ETBs). Many will tell you that
the ETBs are truly EVIL and, ipso facto, against us. This is not true. It
doesn't matter whether they're evil - the fact is, they are sent by the
Fossil Pigs and this can only be good. There is evidence of Evil Twin
Bunnies throughout history, any time someone raises two victory signs...
the "\/" made with two fingers... any time you have two of these, it is
really a corporeal manifestation of the Evil Twin Bunnies. And let me
tell you, ETBs are most murderous to Screaming Lifeforms. They turn
them into a sort of a dead salad, chew them up, spit them somewhere
you'll never see. This, as you will eventually find, is very useful.
So... just how DO we call upon the benevolent Fossil Pigs to send
the ETB's to the rescue of our innocent brain cells? 'Tis a simple thing,
my friend! Merely follow these directions exactly, and you may gain
eternal life, and dimes (because it sounds like Life & Times, but isn't.)
1.) Turn off all light sources, close bathroom door, enter shower.
2.) Close shower door tightly. Seal drain with wet washcloth or towel.
3.) Turn water on, lukewarm. Stand on your head.
4.) Wait until the water level covers your eyes but not your nose.
5.) Turn water off with your feet. Still standing on your head,
6.) Wait for total, complete silence in the shower.
7.) Once you are totally focused, open your eyes underwater, and
8.) Begin to chant: "OMNIBOT, OMNIBOT, OMNIBOT 2000..."
9.) Continue to chat this until something happens.
There you have it! How will you know you've reached the Fossil Pigs
correctly? Well, see, they're microscopic, right? That's why we only
recently discovered them; you just don't see them in everyday life. This
is where the shower comes in. The magnification of the water (combined
with the head rush from the inverted position) allows us to very easily
see the Fossil Pigs when they arrive to answer our summons.
When you've completed enough OMNIBOT trilogies, you will see the
Fossil Pigs floating before your eyes. They do a different thing for
every person who beseeches them; for some they cavort, for some they
dance a jig. But you will definitely Know when you've reached them. If
you follow the correct procedure, not only will you gain eternal life (and
dimes!), but your Screaming Lifeform ills will be totally canceled for at
least two weeks.
Remember however, although they bestow lasting protection, we must
not forget to keep the Fossil Pigs foremost within our thoughts
throughout every aspect of our lives. Do not think of them only when
you prepare to call upon them! Think of them at work, at school, think of
them everywhere and all the time. This is IMPORTANT! If you are only an
intermittent believer, the Fossil Pigs will frown upon you and forsake
you for all time.
That's it, the complete (almost) and absolute truth, straight to you
from the first High Priest of the Fossil Pigs, Pressed Rat, Archbishop of
the Sacramento and Bay Area regions. Also with us in thought is the
honorable venerable James Staley, Second High Priest of the Fossil Pigs,
Arch-Arch-Bishop of the Sacramento region and Minister to the Beyond,
also Liaison with the Cheddy Croak Phenomenon (more on this later).
OMNIBOT 2000!
1-w9d
--------------------
How To Make
A
GREEN GLACIER Ice-Water Bong
Invented By: Doctor Murdock
First off I'm sure some of you have done this before...if
you are TRUE visitors of Else. Basically, this is a simple Filter Flask
bong. [BASICALLY?? Shit...I put a LOT of work into this!!! ;)]
If not....that's ok. There's still hope for you, yet.
Special thanks to: Pressed Rat, RatSnatcher, & Sir Death for
mind melds. And Space Ace for the BEST Christmas gift
you could get from someone you've never met. Shroom On!
Ingredients
-----------
1] A 2 Liter Filter Flask (note: A Filter Flask is different from a regular
Flask. If you buy this, specify FILTER
Flask. The easiest way to get this flask
is by calling up your local Chemical
warehouse. But brand new these fuckers
cost about $66.00! But hey....small price
to pay for a Green Glacier, right?
If you live in the Bay Area, this is where
I got mine:
BRYANT LABORATORY INC.
1101 Fifth Street
Berkeley, Ca 94710
Phone (415) 526-3141
2] About 2 feet of 1/2 clear hose (You can easily find this at your local
hardware store.)
3] A cork that fits the top of the Flask (Go get the flask first and THEN
go to the hardware store. )
4] A Bowl and Piping (Now go to your nearest Head Shop and pick up a Bowl
and some bong piping. About 10" of piping. Sometimes
they only sell the piping in about 4" sizes at the
largest. Such was the case with me....so I super
glued two together. Or, you can find a better Head
Shop or make due with what ya got.... RoR, man...
5] Some Green Food Coloring
6] Some water, ice, and the killer weed!
Construction
-----------
Now...take the cork plug and drill a hole through the center, wide
enough so that the piping fits through it, tightly. Now place the Bowl on the
piping and then stick the other end of the piping through the hole in the
cork. Make it a fairly tight fit.
Connect the hose.
Drop about 6 or 7 cubes of ice into the flask and fill it with water to
about 1800ml. My flask only marks measurements up to 1600, such may be the
case with yours, so here again...make due. Now put about 4 or 5 drops of
the green coloring fluid into the water in the flask. This gives it that eery
Green Glacier Look!! And when your stoned you should read the letters:
"ROR - ALUCARD"
floating amoungst the green liquid. As you are reading these letters you will
have a momentary flash of Ultimate Wisdom in your mind. This is not
coincidental! But unfortunatly, we are still a very primitive race and can not
yet have or even see Ultimate Wisdom. That's MY theory anyway. Nevertheless..
you WILL see Ultimate Wisdom....go for it....do it man....check it out!
And if you see Alice on your journeys....tell Her I said Hi, would ya?
Put the piping and cork plug through the top of the flask and press down
until the cork seals the flask off. Airtight, eh?
Now, Burn, baby, BURN!
Theory
------
Now, in case you can't figure out the purpose of this little device...
don't fear because I am here to explain. Now...you put some of the killer
weed in the bowl (did I forget to mention to get screens? No...I assumed your
not THAT lame...), and light up. Inhale from the end of the hose and the
smoke will go down through the piping and into the water in bubbles.
(Important Part here) It will then travel up to the surface in Ice Cold water
therefor cooling the smoke and when it gets to the surface it's fairly cool.
Then it goes through the filter on the side of the flask and enters your
system, and then soaks into your brain cells and registers a One-Way Ticket to
The Land of Else! Which no mortal man can deny! Anyway, the main purpose of
this baby is to get the smoke cooler so that it goes down easy and takes the
rasp out of it. So you can hold the smoke in longer and send your brain a
nice surprise. Also, another important thing about the Ice Water Bong is that
if you simply cap the end of the hose after inhaling (You don't even really
need to cap it...just for best results) any smoke still in the flask will be
locked in there between the water and the end of the hose. So it's saved for
a bit later! Bitchen, huh? Oh, and the Green Food Coloring does things that
I am not at liberty to give out. Top Secret. Sorry....
Notes from Sir Death: It's best to use a wooden bowl, because metal
bowl tend to burn hotter and scorch the precious
buds. And a wooden bowl just burns with it.
Sortuv like Harmony, eh?
Diagram
-------
_____
\ / <---------- Bowl
| | <---------------- Piping
---------
\ / <----------------- Cork
(----------)
| ----- |
Filter Flask -----------> | | | | ______________
| | | |-----\ ''`'''' <-- Hose
| | | |-----/______________ '
| | | | ^ `'' '
| | | | \ ' '
| | | | \ ' '
/ | | \ Nozzle ' '
/ | | \ ' '
/ | | \ '''``'
/ | | \
/ | | \
/ | | \
/ | | \
/ \
/ Water, Ice \
/ & \
/ Green Food Coloring \
/ \
/__________________________________\
<POOF!> You've just made a Green Glacier! Happy Fuckin highs and remember..
'Say "Thanks man" To Drugs'
Better Insanity Through Chemistry.......
1-lsd
--------------------
White Rabbit
One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small,
And the ones that Mother gives you
don't do anything at all.
Go ask Alice...
When she's ten feet tall!
And if you go chasing rabbits,
And you know you're going to fall,
Tell them a hookah-smoking caterpillar
has given you the call.
Call Alice...
When she was just small!
When men on chessboards
get up and tell you where to go,
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
and your mind is moving along,
Go ask Alice; I think she'll know!
When logic and proportion have fallen,
I'll be dead,
And the white night is talking backwards
And the red queen is on her head...
Remember what the dormouse said:
Feed your head!
Feed your head!!
Grace Slick
The Jefferson Airplane, 1967
1-a9r
--------------------
Vampire Chick Update
by RatSnatcher
Several of us 415 Rats have been looking for Vampire chicks. We have
located a few, but for some reason or another, all of them were considered
unacceptable. Our success has been limited, but, a lot of research has been
done at Rat Head Systems over the past few months, and I'd like to release some
of it.
First, I'd like to debunk some popular beliefs about vampire chicks. I
have heard wild stories about their true nature and massive nonsense. We have
recently discovered some new information as well.
MYTHS.
One thing that's commonly believed is that fucking a vampire would be like
fucking a sack of cold potatos. In other words, they are just a cold fuck. This
is not exactly true. They are cold MOST of the time, but not always. The
exception is right after they have finished feeding. After they suck the blood
out of a warm human body, their blood runs hot. Right after feeding is also
the time when Vampires are most sexualy active. Vampires have been known to
rape their victims after they have killed them, sort of a dual necrophilia.
So as you can see, a vampire chick would probably not be a cold fuck.
Another myth is that when Vampire chicks give head, their fangs will nip your
pud, or worse, sever your dick from your body. Not if they don't want to. They
have the ability to retract their fangs completely.
FACTS.
We have been able to learn that Vampire chicks have shape changing abilities.
This means that once you have seduced, or have been seduced by a Vampire chick,
they can look like anything you want them to. This presents many possible
scenarios. Bigger or smaller breasts, vangina size variations, different color
skin, hair eyes, even animals.
Unfortunatly, the publishing of Anne Rice's books, such as Interview With The
Vampire, has created a Vampire Hysteria on the East Coast, which has driven
most Vampires further underground. So they are harder to come by these days.
The equation is simple for us, Vampire chicks could give us eternal life, which
would allow eternal fornication.
If you have any Vampire information, or know of one, or if you are a Vampire,
please contact Rat Head Systems.
1-v7j
--------------------
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The Killing For Fun And Profit Posts
------------------------------------
This is a collection of highly significant posts recorded on RAT HEAD.
Sometime during 1989.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 2/15
From: Ratsnatcher Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: Ok here's one...
I want to take those asshole kids:
The New Boys On The Block and...
Take each one of them and crack open their fucking skulls and throw their
brains to my dog - (he's good at catching things in the air eh?) and then
filling each of their fucking brain cavities full of High Octane gasoline..
tie their heads back together with rope and tape up the cracks... Then rent a
small airplane and drop them head first onto LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and I hope someone films each explosion! for the 11-oclock newz too.
Or maybe just take an exacto knife- and rip their throats and vocal cords to
shreds... and then poor Draino on the wounds and stomp on their fucking heads
with big boots as they go into convulsions...
Filming the whole thing for prosterity ofcourse.
heh.
El Sn
tcher
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 3/15
From: The Ogre Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: Death to Bobby Brown!
"It's my perogative" rings out across the stage. . .as the last bars of that
stupid, inane piece of dreck roll forth a masked man wearing nothing but black
jumps forth carrying. . .what . . . .it can't be. . .It is . .an M-60. . with
a flamethrower on it. . .oh joy, oh ecstasy! Bobby's body is torn to little
shreds by the 600 rounds per minute of anti-helicopter fire. . .see bobby
becmoe particles! What fun! and then we have to clean up this mess. .
.<<Fwoooooooooooooossssssssshhhhhhhh>> goes the flamethrower as blood and guts
of what used to be Bobby Brown become so much charcoal!
The Ogre
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 4/15
From: Dr. Gnarly (Not Sid!) Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: Hehehe
Well, this is about the strangest things I ever seen on a BBS. Wow!
Unlimited Leeching......really????????!?!?!?!?
That really pumps my nads! heheheheheh
Ok, so how about this: Giving Tracy Chapman a good skull-fuck. hehe
Actually, what would be neat to do to that "leftist-lesbian-folk-bitch" would
be to skull fuck and deep throat her while she is still alive...heheh. And
then do some nasty things to her with her guitar.
Am I getting the spirit of this yet?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 11:31 am Thu Nov 2, 1989 Public 5/15
From: Dexter Riley #48 Killing for fun-n-profit
To: Dr. Gnarly
Title: GNARLY
What would be even more fun to do would be to chop off Marie Osmond's head,
then while it's still warm, stick your dick in the neck and use the head to
jack off with. Sort of an inverted blow job.
Then when you come, give the head a good spin and let go. Your semen would
come spritzing out of her facial orifices, making her look like a Mormon lawn
sprinkler!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 6/15
From: Purple Perv Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: The Throne Room
Whilst sitting on my favorite throne at work today, I had some twisted
thoughts I should share to make some of you get all bothered or sick or
whatever.
My special throne has the only seat with a cut-out in back so you don't get
somebody else's shit on your buns because they were a little wild with the TP.
ANYWAY, as I was picking belly button lint and cock cheese, I kept hearing
torrents of piss from the urinal a-rea. Some were real splashers and others
were forced little high-pitched sprays. It makes you wonder whether the
schlongs or the putzes do gurgling or the spraying.
There must also be various size holes, used and unused, squeezing off links of
chain. You can almost tell from the plop plop fizz fizz and the squeaky or
slobbery farts who's been to the well and who has not.
Rolly turns on the water before he takes a siss because he thinks no one can
hear what he's doing. Vic is likely to turn around without buttoning up.
I think Vic wants to be slammed up against a wall and taken by force, anyway.
Well, that's the best I can do for a really twisted diatribe on short notice.
It may not contain visions of murder, but I may get me murdered by the
straight arrows on here who log onto a perverted board and then bitch about
the pervs.
Leave a response so I'll know how well I'm upsetting the troops. Maybe later,
with any real encouragement, I can take you all to real depths of the kinked
and bizarre.
Ta ta for now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 7/15
From: Clive Barker Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: cards...
The pack in his hand wass pornographic. he played with it only when he was
strong. He appreciated their wit. the way each of the suits depicted a
different area of sexual activity, the spots incorporated into each
intricately rendered picture. hearts represented male/female congress, though
by no means limitted to the missionary position. Spades were oralist,
depicting simple fellatio and its more elaborate variations. Clubs were
analist: the spots on the cards portraying homosexual and hetrosexual
buggery, the court cards, anal sex with animals. Diamonds, the most
exquisitly drawn of the suits, were sadomassochistic, and here the the
artist's imagination had known o bounds. on these cards men and women
suffered all manner of humilliation, their wracked bodies bearing diamond
shaped wounds to designate each card.
but the grossest image of the packwas that of the joker. he was a
coprophilliac, and sat down before a platefull of steamming excrement, his
eyes vast with greed, while a scabby monkey, its bald face horribly human,
bared its puckered backside to the viewer..
he smilled..... thats what he was here for. to make man eat shit.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 8/15
From: The Butt Pirate (Dude) Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: The way to die!
First you get on top of a building that is about 60' tall with abaout 50' of
rope and 40' of piano wire, plus some epoxy of crazy glue. then tie the rope
around your feet and the piano wire around your neck, and crazy glue your
hands to your head. then you jump off the building and at the end ot the
wire, your head is severed cleanly from your neck and at 50' the rope
catches and you are flipped upside down and your hands extend so that you are
hanging dead and upside down with your seaverd head in your hands.
Pretty cool, huh?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 9/15
From: Sick Rat Killing for fun-n-profit
To: Other Sick People
Title: Here's one I herd years ago...
Take your favorite enemy, strip them, and suspend them under a donkey with
their lower orifice right at the head of the donkey's dick. As the animal
becomes excited the poor slob tied there will suffer a slow, painful, ripping
death. Note: this will not work with mules or gerbils...
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 10/15
From: Holy Moley Killing for fun-n-profit
To: Sick Motherfuckers!!!
Title: Just your average execution....
(Dates back to...a long time ago) Have a pole (like a telephone pole). About
2 inches away have a SHARPENED stake pointed upwards. tie the prisoners hands
and legs together and put him so that the pole is thru his arms and legs and
his ass is above the stake. Now let him go. He'd probably be able to hold
himself up via a bearhug for around 10 minutes....but after that it'd be slow
impalement. Wow. They also do this in SF for fun.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 8:53 am Mon Nov 13, 1989 Public 11/15
From: Paul S #73 Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: Being Westinghoused
Back in the 1880's when Thomas Edison and George Westinghouse were promoting
their competing electric companies, they had a dispute over which was better
for offing murderers at Sing Sing, AC or DC. George's DC won out, and he
thought that a prisoner should not be described as electrocuted or executed
but as "Westinghoused".
All you need is a three-phase drop to an Allen-Bradley motor controller to run
a 20 Kilowatt DC generator with an output voltage of 2800-3000 volts DC at a
capacity of about 14 amps. You can't use direct PG&E to your chair these days
because no electric utility wants it known that their product is used to
execute criminals.
But you really have to start a couple of days ahead. It's important to shave
the prisoner's left leg and forelocks to make a good contact. About fifteen
minutes before the event, smear the shaved areas with ammonium silicate gel.
This will keep down the burning.
Prisoners generally lose bladder and bowel control when the juice hits, so
make sure your victim takes a wicked piss beforehand. Also, you need to pack
his ass with cotton to keep him from doing a colon blow.
Besure to tie him down securely with those big leather straps. If you don't
he could fly right outta that chair and damage inanimate objects when he hits.
Strap on the ankle electrode good and tight and cinch the headpiece on real
good. Start your generator and let it come up to speed. Say good-bye to the
motherfucker and throw the big red switch. Don't bother with a stethoscope;
just give him about ten minutes or as much as you can stand in case the smoke
gets too thick. Then cut the generator.
DON'T TOUCH HIM! Go out and have a couple of beers while he cools down.
Bring back your beer buddies to help get him out of the chair. He'll be stiff
as a board, but probably cool enough to touch now.
Lay him out on a table or the floor and take a rubber hammer and beat on his
elbows and knees and whatever else it takes to flatten him out so he'll go in
the coffin.
Clean the puke off the chair before it dries.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 12/15
From: Nighthawk Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: Armand. . .I'm gonna get you!
Well, I don't take kindly to one of my best friends being raped. . .so. . .
First I'll find out where he lives. . .naaah. . I just thought of something
better. . .It's old, but with a new twist. I'll need a few things from the
local stores. I'll get a camera with an IR lens, an electronic relay, a very
powerful air mortar, a John Holmes special Dildo, and a small motor with at
least 20 HP. . .
After he gets home from work (preferably late at night) It's time to modify
his car. After he has parked it I go up with the IR camera, and look at the
seat, It'll show exactly how he sits. Then (since my state still has seatbelt
laws) I'm going to hook the relay's first connection into the motor which I
attach to the seat belt crank. Next step, is to position the air mortar under
the seat exactly below his asshole. the john Holmes special is then loaded in,
and the mortar goes onto the relay. The Mortar is adjusted to about 400 PSI,
which should be powerful enough to rip through the seat, and plant itself well
into his kidneys through his ass.
I almost forgot one more thing. . I'll need a tape.
The next mornign when he's ready to go to work, I am sitting nearby in a car
with my relay. He puts his Seatbelt on, makes himself comfortable, and I hit
the relay!
The seatbelt pulls thigh, so tight that he is pinned into the seat, He can't
move. 3 seconds later the mortar fires, sending the dildo so far up his ass
that it blows though his kidneys. The tape starts playing . .. "You won't have
a next time to think, this is what rape is. . .get used to it, it's the last
thing you'll ever feel"
I walk up, with my Ruger Redhawk with 8 inch barrel, hit the second switch on
the relay which rolls his window down, and take the tape out of the player. I
then tell him to look at me. . .I remove my sunglasses "You fucked up. . .time
to die" and blow his head into the back seat with the .454 Glaser slug.
--Nighthawk <--the pissed!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 13/15
From: Dr. Greenflesh Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: hurt
I would like to take someone and strap them face down upon a table... then
with a sharp butcher knife, make an incision along their spine. Then I would
get horribly drunk while listening to their screaming for help and begging for
mercy... and of course the painfull shreaks! haha
Then I would take the pair of plyers that I would have bought just for the
occasion earlier, and slowly with both hands rip out peices of the victim's
spine and spinal cord.
I would have my tape recorder set up all through this process, to record the
horrid cries of pain - just so I could listen to them later and laugh!
Of course, when the bleading became profuse, and the victim was unconsious
from the agaony, I would stop with the plyers and turn on my bone saw. and
with one hand dance around madly as I dipped the saw in and out, and up and
down his back hehe.
Then after I injected stimulants into my patient's blood stream, and woke him
up! hehe I would proceed to hammer 3 inch steel nails into each of his
shoulder blades!
And finally, when I was completely exausted, I would grab my cleaver (also
bought for this wonderful moment) and hack away at the back of my victim's
neck untill I severed his spinal cord, and teh oxigen to his brain! haha
To finish off these beautiful festivities of red, I would poor gasoline all
over my victim and myself, and just as I ignite it by lighting the days last
cigarette, I would jump upon the operating table!!!! hahahahahhaha
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!AHHAHAHAHAH!!!AHHAHAHAH HAHAHHA HAHAHA HA AHA AHAHHAHA!
yes.
Doctor GreenFlesh
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 11:23 am Wed Nov 15, 1989 Public 14/15
From: Laughing Swede #6 Killing for fun-n-profit
Title: Well...
This is actually a creative SUICIDE but not a killing of someone else.
Go into a UC final in some subject that is really hard, like
integrated-macro-colllosal-electro-chemical engineering....or any other really
hard class that you don't take. In your bag, carry a tank with 1-2 gallons of
gasoline and a lighter.
When the exam is handed out, yell..."FUCK!!! I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THIS!! I'M
GONNA FAIL!!! SHIT, THIS WHOLE FUCKING SCHOOL SUCKS! I CAN'T TAKE IT
ANYMORE! WHAT AM I GONNA DO?" Do it really loud so you annoy everybody.
Then douse yourself in the gasoline and torch yourself. Hopefully this will
kill you because if you survive, your life will be REALLY shitty.
heheheh
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: ? Public 15/15
From: About To Freak Out Now... Killing for fun-n-profit
To: Laughing Swede #6
Title: First I think...
RE: Well...
You should prepare for the test ahead of time by placing Nair in your
hair...then about ten minutes into the test start screaming and ripping out
big clumps of hair...after that then say the only way you can achieve peace is
to cut your siver cord and pass into the next world...so you carve a nice
pentagram on your chest, pour on the gasoline, and THEN light up...
I'm not feeling too creative right now...I think I will bitch about bitches on
the complaint board...
"ref", said I, "cul is a good guy."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
1-d8u
--------------------
- An Interview With Pressed Rat -
Pressed Rat Is a respected member of the Rat underground and also has spent
a lot of time teaching, researching, and following The Way of The Rat. He
invokes the Fossil Pigs regularly and is also a master of the bizarre and
distorted. So we decided that the first issue of The Rat Manual should include
an interview with him.
4:13 am Mon Dec 11, 1989
RM:
What's it like being a Rat?
PR:
Wooo woo woo hahahaha (hmmm...) Pretty greasy, smelly, all that matted
hair... bits of old rotting food between my teeth... but it's not so bad,
after all, being a Pressed type of Rat makes it easier to bear. I don't feel
pain any more. Anyhow, that special rat-ness is pretty stimulating - I
always have something to post about.
RM:
How big is the Rat underground?
PR:
Ha - those who know don't tell; those who tell don't know! You may never
find out until you try... even you, casual reader, may only now be stumbling
onto the greatest undiscovered scam of your life!
RM:
Is The Way of The Rat - part of any larger conspiracies?
PR:
Well... that's pretty sensitive information if you ask me... But I'll let you
in on one little secret: the Fossil Pigs are definitely behind it. In fact,
they're behind ALL THINGS, but that's another story.
RM:
What is the Rat - Hacker connection?
PR:
Hmm, good question. What's a hacker?
RM:
Hahahaha. Is there anyone that you feel taught you the most about following
The Way of The Rat?
PR:
Oh, I'd definitely have to say my old buddy RatSnatcher, of course. And then
there was Reficul, who was a rat from the beginning without knowing it.
RM:
What is a special Rat memory for you?
PR:
Erg... I dunno... probably the last time I saw Alice. Either that, or
getting Bimodem to work. Pretty different topics, eh?
RM:
What do you see as the future direction of the Rat community?
PR:
Bigger and Better! Onward and Upward! Eventual toppling of the entire
Hoity-Toity Business of Tomfoolery and Cumquat Exchange. If you know what I
mean. I'm into being cryptic, see? But yes, Rats will dominate, long after
I've ceased to be a rat. Of course they say, once a rat, always a rat, but
then again, who knows? Alice, of course. Hork.
RM:
Is there anything you would like to say to the general world about Rathood,
Rat philosophy, Rat Theory or anything about getting involved in the Rat
underground?
PM:
Yes. Bite first, bite hard, no mercy. Learn to swim. Screech. Always keep
a dirty tail. Most of all, invoke ye holy Fossil Pigs when possible. And
when you consider yourself rat-ly enough, apply! You'll know where.
1-g7e
--------------------
Adventures In Horking
By Doctor Murdock
The other night I was Lurking in one of my favorite Shadows when I saw a
little girl walking by...oh, such a sweet young thing, musta been about 17. I
saw her little pert nipples pressing up against her tight thin T-shirt she was
wearing and I KNEW she would be my next victim! So I followed her ever so
quietly in my Shadow.....and on and on she went...with me right behind her..
Her little firm buttocks wiggles when she walked, with each inocent step she
took. I knew that Horking this beauty would be quite pleasant.
So on, and on I followed.....
Then, I heard a <cling-jungle>, to my surpise she had dropped her keys! I
knew this was my chance..for it was a fairly dark street. When she turned
around to locate her keys on the ground I saw her face in the light of the
moon....sweet and tender...and oh so young. My eyebrows formed a V shaped
about my eyes and I began to drool....her eyes came in contact with her keys
and she bent down to grasp them....I MADE MY MOVE! I LEEPED from my stalking
position and flew through the air in my Horking position! Hands fully open in
a claw like manner, ready to grasp ANYTHING...legs spread wide, ready to mount
even the biggest of prey, eyes wider than a half dollar, so I don't miss a
thing, mouth gaping wide, ready to suck any any purtruding nipples!
AND I LANDED SQUARE ON MY TARGET! <HORK> <HORK> <HORK> <HORK> <HORK>!!!!!!
Quickly, while she was still uncousious, I slipped back into my favorite
Shadow....and from there I Lurked on....feeling good, and satisfied...for yet
anouther young supple, female had been Horked by me.....
It's the smaller things in life...
2-z7i
--------------------
- Pain and Punishment of The Fossil Pigs -
By Mr. Xt-Ra
Well, I have a story to tell, it's a story of death and blood. It would have
never happened if I had not made the mistake of angering The Fossil Pigs. I
was pissed off one night because the girl I live with, Joan, was not having
sex with me on a regular basis. We had a fight one night, and she told me that
she would have sex with me every night for a month starting on her birthday,
if I would find her a dildo that looked like the OMNIBOT 2000. I thought she
was joking, but she was really dead serious. So I had one made from a
picture I found in an odd looking book she gave me. It cost me a fortune, and
I cursed the Fossil Pigs and the OMNIBOT over and over again using foul
language. Why? Well I guess I just didn't really believe. I recount this
terrible tale in the hopes that maybe YOU wont make the same mistake I did.
It happened when I brought home the ten-inch dildo as a gift for her
birthday. That night, as I fucked her with the new toy while she sucked my
dick, she told me how nice it was to have two dicks for her pleasure. From then
on, the OMNIBOT became a regular part of our love making.
But, one night last month, when I came home from work, Joan met me
at the door wearing a new outfit: Her 38-inch tits were encased in a sheer
black bra with holes for her niples to poke through; matching crotchless
panties, and garterbelt completed the set. I could tell this was going to be a
special night, only I didn't know how special. Joan threw herself at me and
started to rub my dick through my jeans. It didn't take long before I had
a raging woody. She told me tonight she was in charge and anything goes. Hell,
I would have agreed to anything at this point. She led me into the bedroom and
told me to strip and then get on the bed. As I lay there spread-eaglrd, she
began to tease my dick with small licks and kisses. Then grabbing the OMNIBOT
dildo from beneath the pillow, she straddled my face as she slid the monster
into her crack.
Joan was fucking herself madly when I started to feel something strange
down by my feet. It felt just like little paws. Then all of a sudden Joan
let out a scream. I thought she was coming, until she fell over, waving her
hands in the air. And as she fell I could see her back, and to my horror, there
were 10 to 15 rats clinging to her with their teeth! I quickly jumped out
of bed and ran for the bathroom. It was too late to save Joan, she was through!
There must have been hundreds of them, I could hear them swarming, and I could
here Joans crys of pain as they ripped her apart. After an hour, I couldn't
hear anything, so I stepped out. There she was, mangled and bitten to death on
our Double King II matress. There was a huge puddle of blood on the sheets
under her corpse. It was all my fault, but, I feel I have gotten what I
deserved for my actions. So my only regret is that they took Joan instead of
me.
Never fuck with the Fossil Pigs.
B-a9q Appendix B.
--------------------
- The Story of Buck Johnson -
By Billy Rat
Take the famous self-proclaimed rat, Buck Johnson, who was a twisted pig of a
human being, but, with his self developed rat skills and additude, he became
one of the chosen ones. As a kid, Buck had four or five seperate pet rats that
he used to torture. He would break their legs off, burn them, shock them with
high voltage, dump chemicals on them, and try to cause them as much pain and
misery as possible. As the years went by, Buck began to realize that these rats
would never give up and die, and would ALWAYS bite his hand when he fed them.
He admired this quality greatly and decided to adopt it for himself.
From that day of discovery onward, Buck began to change. He went from
a shithead, to a Rat-master over the next few months. Instead of taking shit
from his teachers, he started to fight back! Before he started to emulate his
rats, he used to sit in the back of the class like the little wimpy shitfuck
he was, and let the teachers ruin his brain. But now, he would sit in the front
of the classroom and glare at his teachers, spitting and hissing at them when
their backs were turned. And when a teacher didn't like his new additude, he
would send them death threats in the mail. When the police were called in, he
broke into the house of his pricapal and cut the princapal's hand off in
a very unclean fasion. Needless to say, he got all A's from that day onward.
During this first "rat" year, buck developed a social life, and started
getting fucked every day. He also started going to parties, and getting
wasted. At one of the more famous parties, Buck drank so much that the party
had to end early. That famous night, buck had grapped control of the Keg, and
sucked it dry, attacking anyone who approached it. Most of the other guests
left the party because they couldn't get any brews, and because Buck was on
the floor in the kitchen sucking beer out of the tap like a leech, only
coming up for air long enough to say, "mommy mommy".
A little latter, Buck bought a computer, (the exact type of computer
remains unknown to this date) and quickly discovered computer bulletin boards.
BBS's became his new hobbie, and then Hacking became his complete obsession.
He was very successful at his new passtime. He managed to defeat the security
of many networks and computer systems including Southern Bell's computers,
which he reprogrammed to route calls meant to go to his school, on to local
whore houses. He also broke through the security of several ICBM launch sites,
and for some reason, he decided not to destroy the world. Buck is still an
active member of the Hack/Phreak community to this day. He has asked me not to
reveal his handle in this file however. The great success, Buck attributes to
"following The Way of the Rat". Like a rat, he never gave up (hacking even one
single system!).
What's the point of this story? What's it all mean and where's the moral?
Well, you really are a STUPID fuck if you haven't figured that out yet.
And if you're looking for some kind Nirvana here - forget it (HAHA), go read a
fucking book on Buddism.
B-s8i Appendix B1
--------------------
Suggested Reading
Ok doods, these books, files, magazines, and comic books are absolute must
reads. Get this shit right away... This is important. If you have no money,
steal them. Get them at any and all costs to your wallet or your soul. Get'em
quick too, because scientists agree that earth-time is short. The comming
crisis grows near.
=============================================================================
1. DRUGTHOT.TXT - Thoughts While On Drugs, by Doctor Murdock
2. Fear and Loathing in Las Vagas, by Hunter S. Thompson
3. SAUCER1.TXT - How To Make Miniature Flying Saucers, by Doctor Murdock
4. Generation of Swine, The Gonzo Papers Vol.2, Tales of Shame and Degradation
in the 80's - by Hunter S. Thompson
5. Alice in Wonderland - by Lewis Carroll
6. Cherry #6 - by Larry Welz (Comic Book)
7. MONDO 2000 (Magazine), formerly: Reality Hackers / High Frontiers
8. 2600 Magazine - The Hacker Quarterly (Magazine)
9. MADNESS.TXT - Is Madness Really So bad? by Doctor Murdock
10. DEATH.DOC - The Best Way To Die, by Doctor Murdock and Sir Death
===============================================================================
C-v1x Appendix C.
--------------------
- Boards To Call That Have More Rat Information -
These boards have the newest, most current Rat Information. There are many
boards that carry Rat information so if you can't make it to one of these, call
around! If you think you know anything about Rat's or The Way of The Rat,
please call one of these boards. All three are Shawn-Da-La Boy Production Inc.
text file distribution sites, so if you have something to write, make sure
one of these boards get's your file.
Board-Name Number Sysop
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RAT HEAD Systems..................415/524-3649......................RatSnatcher
The Pirate's Hollow...............415/236-2371...................Doctor Murdock
The Electric Pub..................415/236-4380........................Sir Death
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RoR-Alucard!
"These beers are only the beginning... you know that don't you?"
The Rat Manual Volumn 1, Number 1 - Winter 1989
Produced in cooperation with Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Productions Incorperated, 1989.
~!~
~!~X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
