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The Land of Else 10
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ݱ16 Jun 90±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±_ROR_-_ALUCARD_±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±±Ý? Þ°
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****************************************************************************
* Authors: Pressed Rat, Doctor Murdock, Element Lad, Rabid Liberal, *
* & Bud The Budweiser Person *
* *
****************************************************************************
but have YOU ever tried sucking a narcotic sea-monster?
Them toad-suckers, Them moose-goosers,
how 'bout them toad suckers How bout them moose-goosers,
ain't they quogs Ain't they cloose?
Sittin' there suckin them Out in them boondocks green
toady frogs. Goosin' them moose.
Suckin' them bog frogs Goosin' them huge moose,
Suckin' them chunkers, Goosin' them tiny.
Suckin' them leapy types Goosin' them meadow moose
Suckin' them plunkers. In they hiney.
Them hugger-mugger toad suckers Them obtuse moose-goosers,
way down south Out in the woods,
Stuffin' them horny-toads Goosin' them snoozin' moose
In they mouth. In they goods.
How to be a toad-sucker? How to be a moose-gooser?
No way to duck it! It'll turn ya puce!
Get Yerself a Toad... Get yer gooser loose,
Rare back and Suck it! And Rowse a Drowsy Moose!
2 more rarely enjoyed fiendish things from Presesd Rat
(>
From :Skanklord The Almighty #550 (aka. Dr. Murdock after drinking an
To :All
Subject :Listen! orange
DateTime:12:02 am Sat Jun 16, 1990 (C:\somewhere in tIme.) potion
he
received
from
Rabid
Liberal)
/// Holly holly called me charlie and ate my hand!
) ) Kicked my head and fed me a magic wand called yellow cat!
.".
___> Oh and laurie knows my name but she just might spray the duck!?
)8& Little little are the birds that fly! Through the mouth and through
the sky!
`[} And the red rises through the nose of the Plartarium and into the night!
./: DROP YOUR BOMBS AND LET IT BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/''' Rape the woman and pillage the goats!
;;;; .....and escape in our little mInI boats! Yip yip!
..
.. bACK iN mY rOOM AgaiN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
==+ The entrivilous factor of seven must be diversa fide by the dog named
^ phydeau..... oh NO oh NO! the television is grey! ouch ouch! and and
and..and.....it's 110 degrees outside!! but I have my AXE!!!!!
---> And I've tamed the Nymph twice since we last spoke. spekt--)>>>
(*) RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK OOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTT! {cut}
^7^_ The curbs are 4 feet high! Yowzer! That hurt my groin!!!
0_-- And the corner store sells posionous, fudge covered oreo's!!!
_-_- and the fAT lady droPPed hER water then dropped hER kid!!!
<<<<<<<<<<<<12121{really??}<<<<2121 ---- huh?
()()( <<<<It's the TRUE SATAN!!!! SCARED???!!!!!!!!>>>>>>>>
{,.,) ________________pain is only dealt with your left lobe______
_&&- demonononononone! I SAID DEMONON!24<1
<2
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Hatch is closing..........so wwavee and shout at the fnord!
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait!!! oh no!
LET IT BURRRNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
.
.
.{boink}
ROLLING LOADED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gimmie another shot!!!! Nonono, it
contains an answer to the ultimate question of primal neuro states and
existence! And not only that but it could forofeeeeit the ranch!!!!!
O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh-- N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--- everythings tilting to
the left and to the right! <it's a Thought!> Huh? What? Huh? What*?.x
<SMACK!!!!!> That's it!! You're being put back 2 spaces for stupidity!!
MMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!
<IIIIIIIInnnnnnnnnnnHHHHhhhhhhhhAAAAAAAaaaaaaaLLLLLlllllEEEEEeee!!!>
A man comes running up to you with his head slighty cracked (and looks to
have been cause by magical means), he stops at your face and shouts at the top
of his lungs...
"II++ JuuuuuuuuuuuusT lOSt a SaNiTy POINT!!!!!!"
<shiver> <ache pain> <rollover die>
And so on.......
P.s. - The sock is pregnant...I repeat....the rock is stagnant....
Hey, lookie thar! It's the 2 little five year old Imps of Hilter!!
DOG DAMN YOU!!! IF I'VE TOLD YOU ONCE! I'VE TOLD YOU A thousand TIMES!!!
fEED yOUR hEAD(s)!!!!!
Mizzle Mizzle!
I gottta horse to catch!
ror!
[^ Bud's Liquor Cabinet ^]
[50] Read:(1-50,<CR>,A,B,D,M,N,P,R,S,Q,U,W,=,?):
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From --------> <Pressed Rat>
To --> All Those Who Drub Deir Dings
psssst!
hey you! have you ever found the big button under the 3rd seat on the
left (if, say you're boarding from the west in Berkeley) in BART, the big red
impending-doom-like ominous button that says "IDIOT BUTTON" in little aqua
letters? I have. I pushed it once...
Next thing I knew, the train slowed down a little bit, got up on legs
and walked off the track. It began to walk up University avenue, kinda
swaying from side to side, and began to digest its passengers. Not me,
though, because I had smartly brought my acid-proof ABC (all-body condom) in
case of just such an emergency. Two more corners and it began to crawl the
wrong way down telegraph. I politely hit the air brake and got off at
Annapurna to buy incense, but I really kinda wonder where it went after that.
Anybody seen a BART train running around s. berkeley / n. oakland that thinks
it's a Mr. Snuffle-Uppagus?
p/r
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[50/50]
From :Sir Death #1
To :To Whom It May Concern.
Subject :=*=
DateTime:10:51 pm Mon Jun 04, 1990 (C:\BBS\MSGS\C-29297.1)
Hey, have you seen Dune?
No I have never seen Dune.
It was an awsome movie, dood. You really should have seen it, man.
Oh.
I wish it would stop that.
It is your turn, rackem.
No, I won last time, You rackem.
Well, we won't play, cause I ain't a rackenm ROY!
Bullshit man.
Buuullshit maaan.
No way.
Ok I'll break, you rackem.
Ok, you're solids.
Damn! Well, I guess I'll have to be Lucky!
You're going to need to be, Ed.
Nice shot.
I hit my shoe today, with a baseball bat, just to prove the were steal
toe, I think they're dented
My name is Lucky...
This is my famous walk the dog shot shot.
Thank you.
LUCK!
Let's be serious about this situation, Ed
And fuck a toad, LUCKYY
Oh god.
Damn
Sonofabitch
Is the fifteen ball legal?
It's about fifty percent.
I just wanted you to know that.
We should get a rule book.
We're a long ways away
Guy hasn't heard a word of what we have said
Oh yeah?
More worried about my luck
Could take another shot of Everclear.. Or we couldn't.....
Gonna be back Sunday night?
Yep!
We have to be there at Eight. It lasts a long time...
What will we do?
Will walk around for twelve hours
We will have to bring jackets
It will be dark
STars on a clear night, on Acid will be great!
I've heard it was real cool
Do you remember last night when we were rip roarin?
You took astronomy, when does he sendem?
What makes it so big, yellow I mean
It just looks bigger
Look into the whole and it will look the same
Oh wait, here we go
I want to go for a cool FReshin
Let's not let ROY enjoy hisself
Distortion pe, man.
Comon bank the twelve man...
I guess you're not the player I am
Lucky
Did you ever read Lord of the Flies, I'm reading it
All those naked boys running around in the sand
Did you mean that?
It's my turn
It's ok I'll still have to beat you
Lucky
Luucky
Ha ha harhahrhar
Lucky, as luck would have it
God dammit
Haven't seen luck like that, since I was lucky
Lucky get in here!
Thats not what I wanted to do
Lucky
What are you going to Tahoe for?
Look for a cabin this summer, oh my family goes up there...
You're not going to drink booze and gamble?
If we're lucky we can do both
Lucky
HA! You missed!
It's Ok I knew what my purpose was
IF is wasn't for that first ball
Phlesbsbstttt
Scratch o rama
Lucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time left: 445:37:02 ("?"=Help)
(0) - [^ Bud's Liquor Cabinet ^]
(->
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It BETTER not rain tomorrow. Because if it does, then I am just going
to have to drink faster. I didn't want you people to have to see that, but a
person must do what he must....
(or she....but that's another fantasy...)
RoR
-
(air-burst meaning that the fireball is far enough from the earth's surface
that there is no ground material uptake into the high temperature portion of
the mushroom cloud).
Element Lad, "whoah gravity check there, mon... "
latere
el
"I think I will go watch my 'Tommy" video tape again"
-
From :Pressed Rat (the Sire of Oppress-ed-ness...)
Subject :Chickenzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
DateTime:11:41 am Mon May 14, 1990
Y'see, all domestic chickens are born with an inherent belief
(wrongly) that they cannot fly, when in truth they can. They only have to
realize it.
Similarly, you can fly yourself, but since you have a slightly bigger
brain than a chicken (i guess...), you have a greater mental block against it.
Whereas it's quite possible to scare or shake a chicken out of its disbelief,
yours is probably very strong, as is most people's.
It just gets better too... as soon as you Realize it, you can go swim
in the ground, eat concrete, and all sorts of mean nast Hor'ble things!
In short, I have one point to make and it is this:
"Come to where the flavor is! Play the Goat for a while."
p.s. ~~ I just saw a flock of migrating chickens pass by my window. They
were within a 3-mile radius of a herd of cows and wearing little oakland
raiders helmetz. guess who!
pr
From :Bud The Budweiser Person #5
Subject :Hey!
DateTime:12:18 am Tue May 15, 1990
Everybody, I'm loaded!! I like it.! And, I am Bud. Hey...I like booze,
but most of all, I like little 15 year old girls. Seriously. I may be a bit
older than 'em....but have ya ever finger banged a little 15 or 16 year older?
With their little smiling, teesing faces and giggles. Oh yeah, there's
nothin like it. One finger, two fingers, three, four -- hey, hey....they
start screamin and moaning!! It's great! I don't like to admit it, but I
guess it's cuz I'm drunk.
There little tight cunts and little tiny purt breasts!
I like to wrap Himanmembrains around my tounge..
Thats's just me though.`
Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm, nothin like it.
Ya got a sister?
God, help me. No....I take that back.
...booze...
From :Pressed Rat #16
To :All
Subject :Ok, while we're confessing:...
DateTime:3:27 am Fri May 18, 1990
Yep! I, too, have a confession to make. I suffer from
obsessive/compulsive disorder. I am obsessed with body symmetry. If I turn
around clockwise in the shower, I must turn back counterclockwise again before
washing my hair. If I spin around to the left while going down the stairs for
breakfast I must go the other way coming up. I don't know what would happen
if I didn't. I would probably disintegrate and be mailed in little pieces to
the Department of X-Key upkeeping secretaries, where they'd coo and coddle
over my variant parts and record the subtle limes of reason, then raise the
raisin of a violent spectre beside my lampshade head. Upon this, the
remaining passion for patience would be gently removed from my shoes and the
whole cycle would begin anew.
I am obsessed with making sure my head does not roll one way or the other
on the pillow at night. If there was a net roll to the east or west, I would
eventually roll all the way to Afghanistan before i woke up, then awake to
find myself a stranger in a stringy land of stringent strick smitten smiley
smiters, smouldering in a semblance of a semi-sapient smithy in spite of the
tennis.
Besides this, there's the problem of going up-down-down-up and
down-up-up-down. Let me illustrate, it's like this:
Here's one basic cell.
-__-
And the basic cell can be combined. here's a second-order cell...
-__- -__-
_--__--_
and the reverses of these are:
_--_ and -__--__-
_--_ _--_
Now an even bigger one would go like this:
-__- -__- -__- -__-
-__--__- _--__--_ _--__--_ -__--__-
_--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ .
And this could be inverted too, with various conclusions.
See, it's all binary and I could go on farther but it would go beyond
the screen.
But it's all binary and the point is, how many of these larger and larger
meta-cycles can you hold in y0ur head bef0re you have t0 banish y0urself to
L0wer Sl0b0via where you are to live for ten years in self-imposed solitary
confinement, eating only the battered and rejected frozen-ammonia bars that
never made it on the international stoics' market for unrequested treats?
How long? Just how long would YOU last? I'm really not sure how long I'd
last. It would be interesting to try. SO many things would be s0 interesting
to just try yi yi yi... try sampling a smattering of smee!
Or say "smee" (or whatever the word happens to be in your world) from Beyond
Zork and see where it gets you. Also, ever tried wielding the phase blade and
using it to destroy the vague outline? Now THERE's a good trick!
Adios guacamoles! I continue unabated in my research and will let you know
how it goes. For now, it appears that the whether report will include many
Evil Twin Bunny skirmishes in the vicinity of El Cerrito... Maybe they'll
visit U, 2.
pr
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Time left: 545:47:12 ("?"=Help)
(11) - [Alice's Aqua Coloured Cloud]
(->/G
8Mr§ºæ[
¸É ÆçƱ&ÿ
NO CARRIER
(if you wasted your time reading the above, then for sure you must have seen
something. WHAT? The following proves a Point! Nobody can be proved
Insane through what they type. Unless of course.......everybody is really
Insane and the normal people are the ones wearing the fancy white jackets.
Insanity is more complex than we think. After ALL, it IS hereditary! And
Insanity can't be all that bad if people can find so much to respect in it.
Insanity must have a hidden significance, therefore. For you and I are not
Insane. OR (big OR), we both ARE insane. Nevertheless, we exist on the
same plane. And as I've always said,
ë ær hîë
