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How To Eat Your Shoe and Become Enlightened For Fossil Pigs Sake
How To Eat Your Shoe and Become
Enlightened For Fossil Pigs' Sake
- by pressed rat
Good morning world, the birds all chirp.
You wake up, stretch, and nasty burp.
But this is like no other day;
You know of course what you must say:
"I know exactly what I'll do!
it's time at last I ate my shoe!"
So sit yourself down at the table.
Remove those converse, if you're able.
Grease them up with apple butter,
As you smear it, darkly mutter,
"Oh tasty morsels off my feet!
Who knows what kind of bugs I'll meet!
For when I eat my yearly shoe,
I find the gate of Temple Shroo!"
Take that first bite with a grin.
Then stuff both of the laces in.
Chew them well, now add some salt
Before your stomach makes you halt;
Now send the sole right past your tongue
(Be careful to avoid your lungs)
And swallow hard to keep it down,
Speaking nonsense as you frown;
"Delicious footwear! Now I must
contact the fossil pigs I trust,
for sacrificing my own shoe
is just what they told me to do."
Finish up, and lick your chops,
Stand up, and clear the table top.
Down the hallway to the shower,
Enter quickly with a flower.
Stand on head, turn water on,
Wait until your vision's gone,
Intone the Holy OMNIBOT!
(By this time you are fooling NOT)
And soon you'll see those little pigs
all dressed up in their fossil digs
cavorting so before your eyes
so small you could not say their size!
Now finally, you are collected
For another year protected
From the fear of SLF's,
Read the text file, all you hefs,
Find out what are these woeful beings,
How to stop from them you seeings,
Retro-fit your little life
And ever stop the tide of strife!
(c) 1990 Shawn-Da-Lay Boy Enterprises c%o presseed rat
No! Really - you MUST read about the fossil pigs. I'm serious.
Look in the file dirs and download the muthas. NOW. Then post!
Distributed in part by:
Skeleton Crue 415-376-8060 located out of Moraga, California.
!!Get on the band wagon before it RUNS YOU DOWN!!
The very LAST bastion of Abusive Thought in all of the Suburbian West Coast...
(CH&AOS)
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