The Amazing Brain of the American Pit Bull Terrier

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Shawn Da Lay Dawg

 · 4 years ago

  

  

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 Ý   ** The Amazing Brain of the American Pit Bull Terrier **          Ý  ?Þ° 
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        **  THE AMAZING BRAIN OF THE AMERICAN PIT BULL TERRIER ** 

 
        Today I was sitting in the last patch of sunlight, in my backyard, 
 before the sun went all the way down.  With a cool tallboy in my hand and my 
 dog Cremator by my side breathing heavy and looking stupid, the way he always 
 does.  I was sitting there enjoying my cool freshin and the buzz from the one 
 before it, when the weeds from what is left of the lawn started to produce 
 some cool visuals.  So I picked one of 'em.  (Ya know the kind of weeds that 
 you used to throw like darts when you were younger, and they'd stick to other 
 kids shirts?) Well, anyways, I was sticking the sharp end of the plant into 
 my dogs nose and therefore goading him into a frenzy.  I'd stick him in the 
 nose, and then he'd leap forward and snap at the plant.  I did this over and 
 over and over and over again until every last bit of attention his puny brain 
 could spare was centered on this little thing sticking him in the nose, and 
 how even if it was the last thing he did, he would kill it.  (Well, I don't 
 think he thought that far in advance, but lets just assume...)  So, while I 
 was watching him, as he was totally amazed and infatuated with his goal, I 
 had this awesome Theory!: 

 
      Say you had an animal such as this dog, that could produce such a high 
amount of mental exertion, as only a Pit Bull can....yet be so stupid. 
What would happen if at the same time, this animal were to become confused 
beyond his comprehension??  I mean REALLY confused.  It isn't that hard to do, 
it probably happens to him everyday, but not while he's in such an excited 
condition. Now....on with the theory:  Now the dog is trying with all his 
physical and mental might to kill this little plant that you are teasing him 
with.  He wants that plant DEAD!  So you continually provoke him with the weed 
AND verbally.  Then when you feel that his mental power is producing it's 
maximum output, you THROW the weed into a field of matching plants which ALL 
look identical!!!!!! 

 
What does he do??  He immediately, without thinking, LEAPS into that field at 
the location he best feels the plant landed at.  He lands and quickly looks 
around!!  He sees HUNDRED, THOUSANDS of these things that he has such a 
sadistic desire to mutilate!!  He doesn't know what to DO!!! 

 
My theory is this:  Because this animal is so fucking BRAINLESS, and at the 
same time can exert such a tremendous energy towards it's obsession, that it 
simply cannot exist on the same intellectual dimension as other animals or 
lifeforms that aren't experiencing the same state as itself, and therefore 
will immediately Spontaneously Combust!!!! 

(Note:  This can happen to you or me also.  But it would take years of 
        mental discipline and preparation to get to our minds to the point of 
        such an uncontrollable drive. 

 
 * That's my Theory anyway.  Maybe in the future I'll do mass studies on this 
   and win a nobel prize.  Or maybe I'll just buy another six pack.... 

(Note#2:  I called my dog stupid several times in this post, but it's only 
          because I had to stress the matter.  I'd just like to say that the 
          DOG is TRULY Mans Best Friend.  As he is mine.  RoR......) 

 
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