Soldiers of Death Issue 01

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Soldiers of Death

 · 4 years ago

  

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º                      War, Death and Destruction #001                       º 
ÇÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĶ 
º          Date Released : [03/26/93]       Author: The Pyschotic Pyrotic    º 
ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ 
    Ok, here is our first issue. I hope it dosen't suck too bad... 
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º   Lamerz                      by                  The Pyschotic Pyrotic    º 
ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ 
   The Warboard Lamer- This is the guy who always gets his ass kicked in the 
   War Board, and usually starts most of the insult wars himself. Then  
   when he loses, calls your parents, reads out messages you have posted all 
   over the place(big fucking deal) and usually sounds pyschotic. ex. Lexis, 
   Lurch 

   The Hackers Suck Lamer- This is the type of lamer who goes around talking 
   about how hackers suck and virus's are the worst thing ever created. They 
   usually have no idea what they are talking about. ex. Lurch 

   The yeahiamsostonedandwasted Lamer- This is the guy who calls up, talks  
   about how great beer or drugs are yet has never drunk a drop of beer or 
   gotten high. ex. Xavier 

   The sooper lamer- All the lamer types combined. 

   The K-RaD lamer- This is the type of lamer who Thinks there a big hacker or 
   Anarchist or any other underground activitys. This is also the user with 
   handles like Hackdude or virus detected or drive error and don't know what 
   the fuck there talking about. -Xavier 

   The Keep-calling lamer- This is one of the stupidest lamers. If you have   
   Ever been a sysop, you will have seen these lamers before. They usually 
   use there real names instead of handles. They keep calling your board back 
   over and over again. They can't get it into there fuck'n head that you 
   don't want them on your board or it is private. In, fact some stoopid 
   lamer called Jim is doing this to me right now. Back, when i was running                                          
   darksun private, some lamer kept calling, entering the same new user  
   password each time. over and over.... ex. JIM 

   The I-am-going-to-force-you-to-put-your-board-up-lamer= This lamer is  
   another known to sysops only. They will keep calling you up when they 
   know your board is down or you have stopped running it, thinking that  
   you will put your board up for a looser like them. 

   The WaReZ d00d- This is usually some preppie who has 8 lines, 10 16.8  
   modems, and a 686 computer just to run a board. They spend all there time 
   calling boards LD and spend lots of money leeching warez LD. 

   The Ansi Lamer- This is the lamer who puts up 10 ansi adds in a row, and 
   begs everyone to call his board. They also put 80 messages in the rumors 
   or OnlinerZ if the board has them. ex. The Fisher King 
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º   Lamers of the 313           by                  The Pyschotic Pyrotic    º 
ÓÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄĽ 
     So, You have seen the types of lamerz, Now here are the lamest in the 
 area code... 

                  -=LeXiS- KinG oF ThE lAmerZ=- 
              Real Name- Brent Johnson 
              Board- Electric Dreams(Wet Dreams, Zhentil Keep) 
              BBS number- 349-3994??? 

   Lexis acts like he is so cool, says the stoopidest shit... He is always 
   starting crap on War boards and Making lots of Fake Id's on Eliter boards. 
   Whenever anyone does this to him, he will call there parents and bitch. 
   He is under 4 feet tall and is 14 years old(I wonder if he gets his ass 
   kicked by smurf stompers?). The kid is a fucking wimp. He has 4 brothers 
   who are over 19. They are in a band called Department 10 which really   
   sucks. I know him personally before i called bbs's. Ok... A freind of mine,  
   Theo Manning used to call boards. Lexis called him a poser and challenged  
   him to a fight. So, Theo goes over there, and Lexis sends all of his  
   brothers and two of there freinds after him, with baseball bats. Then on  
   Halloween, i was stealing candy, and trashing places... when i was jumped  
   by Lexis's brothers while that faggot watched them. So, the next day,  
   he is telling everyone he kicked my ass. So, in school, i challenged him  
   to a fight after i heard that. So, then he said if i messed with him, he  
   was going to have someone else come after me. He will ass kiss whoever he  
   thinks could help him out or give him cool mags or warez. He thinks he is  
   this big hacker dood and anarchist... But next issue is all about him, so  
   i'll go on... 

                  -=Xavier- Lexis's But budy=- 
       
   This kid thinks Lexis is so cool and lexis is god. I got on Zhentil Keep 
   once and saw there elite bases. This kid U/L ansi every VaS mag Lexis got, 
   followed by a message in K-RaD r0d3nt f3c3s typing saying "I am so cool, 
   i am such a hacker. 

                 -=Lurch- Lexis's other But Buddy=- 

   This kid is sooper fuck'n lame. He tried to call my parents(woo don't get 
   me in trouble, yeah right..) because i swore and said "wiggers suck" on 
   Castle aughh. This kid worships wiggers and then denies it... After i said 
   Wiggers suck, he jumped into my shit about how i am a racist(so what), and 
   in his own words, "You only like White Anglo-Saxon prodestents". I know 
   he lives in farmington hills, so he is obviously a jew JAP. They are  
   the only ones who would say a line like that... stoopid fux. And then, 
   when i call back later, he has all these jokes like "Why did the Nigger 
   cross the road?", "To get to the KFC".. Good joke, but... 

                 -=Electra- Vibrator co. CEO=-  
                 
   Can we play solitree? She is Lexis's mom and shares his height. I do not 
   really know why she named her handle after a vibrater company, and i don't 
   want to... 
                              
                 -=The Arabian Prince- Rich OPEC wannabe=-             
                 
   This kids parents own oil fields and he is an Arab. They fucking rip us 
   off with there fucking fuel prices and blow up world trade centers. And  
   what does are country do, help them. Nice fucking lives. He acts like he 
   is such a hacker, but dosen't know shit. He acts like he is the king of 
   the war board, but all his insults are mom jokes(too old) or "you honky 
   redneck"(ooooh, that one hurt.hehehe). I kicked his ass at that once.  
   First, he said he would card me(like how is he going to find my parents 
   credit card numbers?) and then later he said a freind would do it. nothing 
   happened... Then he said he was going to kick my ass at twelve oaks(Yeah, 
   i am going to smash a preppie at twelve oaks, at least not without twenty 
   freinds). He asked me how old i was, and i replied a freshman, he said he  
   was a senior. I later found out he was a freshman... He also brags about 
   how much money he has and about how he has 6 16.8 modems(i am not making 
   this up!!!).  

                 -=Sir Robin=-   
   DAMMiT- nough said. Thinks you can mosh to alternative bands.... 

                 -=Rook-looser=- 
   Exactly like Lurch, but not as big of a pussie... 
    
                 -=Gregster- faggot lord=- 
   This is one of the many fags on Castle:Suspicions... He is different from 
   the others in the fact that he writes gay messages to the other male users 
   and calls them pricks when they tell him to fuck off.. He is in his mid 
   50's.... Sick fuck... 

                 -=Pi'd Piper- nerd=- 
   One of lexis's lame ass freinds. He brags about knowing pi up to the 100th 
   digit... 

                 -=GrandMaster- Arab ass kisser=-  
   This kid is constantly ass kissing the arabian prince... 

                 -=Malcom X=- 
   Some Nigger who said he would send his posse after us... black supremisist 

                 -=Homeboy=- 
   Wigger... He fucked around with hacker once, and his board was crashed 
   about 20 times... He called himself a hacker, but he sucked and was 12  
   years old... 

                 -=Abdul=- 
   aka. Tom Home... He is one of lexis's lame ass freinds... He worships  
   Lexis... This kid called up my board once, and made lots of id's. I saw 
   through them all and locked him out...( Notice that when i do this to them, 
   they bitch) 

                 -=Fred Bear=- 
   Like abdul. He called up my board, got deleted and then helped The other 
   lamers in the war on alcatraz cuz he was pissed that i wouldn't let him on. 

                 -=Chris- The allaround looser=- 
   Some snake-eater who said i was a looser and i would be in the new Tag  
   blacklist cuz i was ripping on the fisher king... He then bragged about 
   how cool he was because he knew the people who made tag. So what the fuck 
   does that mean? Oh, no The TaG team is going to hack the shit out of me 
   and put me in a blacklist... Yeah i am so fucking scared... The only  
   sysops who run tag are faggots and lamers... Vision-x rules. He threatened  
   to get me kicked off Temple of the dog because i didn't put my real phone  
   number and other shit in... This lamer has gained too much influence over  
   a few elite sysops... Get rid of him... 
                              
                 -=Augie- Death to the hackers=- 
   This is some insignificant JAP faggot who thinks he can take on all the  
   hackers with his freinds rook and lurch... Big Looser, nice handle... 
   He thinks all us hacks suck... And the only hackers come from farmington.. 
   SHIT... Everyone i have met from Farmington is a fag... Lurch, Rook, you 
   Sir Robin... You Hack d00d$ 

                 -=Hoser- Hacker Hater=- 
   One of some new anti-hacker group... 

                 -=The Z=- 
   One of lexis's best freinds... Likes narcing on people... Like Xavier 
   and older... He makes up all this shit about being a phreaker and then 
   talks about how they suck... Nice fucking life, your a nothing.. 

                 -=Tyrone=- 
   Talks about how racist's suck... Look at his fucking handle... 

 
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