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Getting Even Chapter 01
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º ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ º
º ³ ADDITIVIES ³ º
º ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ º
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Harmful additives are a formidable weapon against machinery, people, and
processes. Additives perform one or more of the following:
1) Corrosion...sulfuric acid, for example, will corrode the gutter, eaves, and
downspout of a home; dumped salt will mar a building surface or floor and
kill a lawn.
2) Contamination...copper salts will rot rubber products; soap in a public or
corporate fountain will create giant foam. Or put it in a steam boiler if
you're more serious abouôL[Ymatter.
3) Abrasion...introduction of light, coarse materials, such as resins, to
automotive fuel, or metal filings placed in the gears of industrial
machinery, will create frictional havoc.
4) Impurities...adding sugar to gasoline greates harmful carbon from the
burning sugar, stopping the engine.
Soaps and detergents make wonderful additions to food and could even be
beneficial if the target happens to be constipated. If not, then soap-laden
munchies or drinks will really keep him moving.
During my stay as an invited guest of Uncle Sam I recall some dirty
tricksters' making an action statement against being in KP. They liberally
coated various pans and cooking vessels with GI soap. They washed mugs with a
lot of soap, then neglected to rinse them before letting the utensils dry.
Later, when some drinkable potion like milk or coffee was poured into the mug
by some unsuspecting mark, the soap was activated. Whoosh!
Soap is also a very effective additive to containers in which food is
prepared. The secret is to disguise the taste. Various other additives will
do that and other tricks.
A horny old pharmacist, Doctor Frank Pittlover, claims there really is a
working aphrodisiac. His is almost as esoteric as the fake stuff you read
about in men's magazines. Here's what Doctor Pittlover says: "It's known as
yohimmbine hydrochloride (C21, H23, O3N2), an obscure sex stimulant that
operates on the central nervous system. It was the aphrodisiac used by the
CIA in their MK/ULTRA scam." It is not on the Central Substances Act list
--yet--and it is classed as a "veterinary aphrodisiac." That means you can
get it openly from a pharmaceutical supply source. What you do with it after
you get it is probably your own business.
There are other references to and uses of additives in many other topical
areas of your revenge...many more than could be indexed here.
"Take tea and see" is a good advertising slogan that should also alert
the dirty trickster to some additives brought to our attention by herbal-tea
producers. Two common products of many herbal teas have side effects that the
trickster could define only as delightful. First, some teas contain the
leaves, flowers, and the bark of senna plant, a tropical shrub related to our
bean plant. The dried leaves, bark, and flowers of this plant are a mighty
powerful laxative. Chamomile flowers are also popular in herbal teas.
Related to ragweed and goldenrod, chamomile can produce severe reactions in
people sensitive to plants of that family.
The trick in both cases is to obtain extracts of both products and use
them in concentrated enough additive form to create the desired effect.
Meanwhile, from the other end, Doctor Christopher Garwood Doyle has a
prescription that could really get amark moving. Syrup of ipecac is a common
purgative, easily available. Here's how Doctor Goyle uses it.
"Your mark is with you or your agent somewhere having a few drinks," the
doctor outlines. "Presumably, the mark is drinking something sweet and heavy,
like rum and Coke. When the mark goes to the bathroom or is otherwise out of
the area, mix one tablespoon of syrup in ipecac in with the drink.
"You now have a fifteen-minute waiting--or escaping, if you prefer--
period for the mixture to get active. After that, bombs away! The mark will
begin violent projectile vomiting, which really messes up the nearby
environment and anyone else who happens to be the way.
"We first did this in medical school, using to get back at a classmate
who'd turned us in to officials for having an after-hours party in our dorm
with women and booze. They threw the book at us because we were supposed to
be mature medical students.
"The student who did this fancied himself as a real boozer," Doctor Doyle
explained, "but he really was a hell of a hypocrite about it and really played
pious when he turned us in. So we figured he who tattles about booze shall
also toss his booze."
Doctor Doyle reports that this additive will work easily with
non-alcoholic drinks, too. He says the secret is to select a carrier drink
that will hide the taste and consistency of the syrup.
Another good remedy for a hotshot is cascara sagrada, made from the dried
root of a thorny shrub found on the American West Coast. It produces violent
diarrhea. Once, Joe Kascaba introduced some cascara sagranda into a mark's
orange juice. The mark was with his girlfriend and her parents in their
family car. He had the "juiced" orange juice about ten minutes before getting
into the car.
Kascaba reminisced, "The stuff's fast acting, and we were lucky to have
the girlfriend's brother as our ally, to report the action. It hit the mark
about six minutes into the trip, and in another minute he didn't even have
time to yell for them to pull over. He just started letting go with loud,
wet, explosive bursts.
"This is all in full witness of his girlfriend and her family in a
tightly packed auto. He couldn't get stopped, either. They took him to a
hospital, but by then the additive was through his system and the storm had
subsided. That surely is super powerful stuff."
Kascaba explained why he had taken action this explosive action, saying,
"The guy was a real creep. He was always trying to make out with other girls,
and since he wasn't very smooth, he used to get them drunk. This was always
with other girls, of course--his regular girlfriend knew nothing about all of
this.
"Well, one night he pulled this crap on a friend of mine, got her drunk,
messed around...she got this feeling all guilty and emotional, then got sick
--puked, in fact. He thought he was macho stuff and gave her hell for it.
"We figured if he was going to act like such a shit...well, I'm sure you
understand...."
The above trick is suggested to be used in such a place so that your mark
can not easily reach a bathroom within a few minutes after the attack hits.
This will cause him to literally shit his pants and drip at the heels.
As a final note, Kascaba says not to use this powerful additive with
older folks, because it weaken them to the point of very seroius medical
complications such as dehyrdration which may kill them. Have some respect for
the elderly, think of your grandmother!
The following trick is technically a substitution and not an additive: I
know of one person who visited her mark's home and emptied the hair
conditioner out of his bottle, then poured Neet hair remover into the
conditioner bottle. She knew that Operation Substitute was a bald success
when she saw her mark in a local store several weeks later, wearing a large
scarf on his head.
Vinegar makes a great substitute for nose drops or in nasal-spray
devices. One especially nasty person also suggested it for use in eye drops.
I'm not sure about that one though, sight's a precious thing. You'd better
reserve that one for a very deserving person that shot your dog, wrecked your
computer, busted you for phreaking, etc.
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º ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ º
º ³ AIRLINES ³ º
º ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ º
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Arrange to have a friend meet you at the terminal gate when you deplane.
Give your friend your baggage claim checks and have him/her retrieve your bags
from the carousel, then leave the baggage area with your bags. Before your
friend leaves the airport with your luggage, be sure to get your claim checks
back. Then, you saunter over to the baggage area, spend half an hour waiting
for your bags. Ask some clerks for help, then report your "missing" luggage,
showing your claim checks as proof. Very few flights ever have a clerk
actually check the baggage and collect claim checks. It's foolish, but they
don't. Make a polite, but firm scene and demand satisfaction. Normally, the
airline people will have you fill out a form and they will attempt to find
your luggage. Obviously, they won't find it. Bug them some...write them
letters. Soon, you should get a good settlement from the airline. Don't try
to pull this one on the same airline more than once!
Leaving the airlines and aiming for the individual mark, you can do a lot of
personal damage. For instance, if you find your mark is going to use airline
travel, you could call and cancel the reservations.
You might try to slip a couple rounds of pistol ammunition or a switchblade
in to your mark's pocket just before he goes through the metal detector at the
airport terminal. You could also slip some drugs into his pocket at the same
time. Read a book on pick pocketing to note the technique for doing this.
It's quite easy. Leave accurate-looking, but totally bogus hijack scenario
plans, bomb diagrams, or orders of battle for terrorist attacks in airport
bars and restrooms. This fires up both the rent-a-cops and the real security
people. The security delays and resultant hassles with passengers create
unhappy people who are angry at airports and airlines. Naturally, the blame
for these plans must focus on your mark. If he has really been bugging you
it's about time to get even!
Leaving the airlines and aiming for individual mark, you can do a lot of
personal damage. For instance, if you find that your mark is going to use
airline travel and there are only a few travel agents in town, you could call
until you find the correct one and cancel the reservations. Or if you know
the name of the airline, call their office and cancel the mark's reservations.
You might try to slip a couple of rounds of pistol ammunition or a
switchblade knife into your mark's pocket just before he goes through the
metal detector at the airport terminal. You could also slip some drugs into
his pocket at the same time. Read a book on pickpocketing to note the
technique for doing this. It's quite easy since you are placing stuff back.
Bill Cutcheon sometimes poses as a Moonie, Hare Krishna devotee, or other
cultist and goes to airports. His goal is to act like a completely obnoxious
fool. He really hams it up, usually getting tossed out after totally grossing
out the passengers. The heat, of course, falls equally on the cults and on
the airport for letting "them" behave like that.
Another Cutcheon stunt is to leave accurate-looking but totally bogus
hijack scenario plans, bomb diagrams, or orders for terrorists attacks in
airport bars and restrooms. This fires up both the rent-a-cops and the real
security people. The security delays and resultant hassles with passengers
create unhappy people who are angry at airports and airlines.
Naturally, thew blame for these plans must focus on the original
perpetrator of Cutcheon's problems. He says, "If some nut group's been
hassling me for money, messing in my neighborhood, or otherwise being
obnoxious, I'll leave evidence to pin the hijack or bomb rap on them. I got
back at a motorcycle gang by doing this once, after they had sideswiped
my truck and refused to pay damages."
He also explains that this is a good vengeance grabber against an airport
facility that has offended you.
Mitch Egan of San Francisco doesn't like cultist panhandlers harassing
people at airports, so he founded the Fellowship to Resist Organized Groups
Involved in Exploitation, or FROGIE. Egan and his friends use those little
metal clickers shaped like frogs to ward of religious solicitors.
According to Egan, thousands of people across the country are now armed
with the little metal frogs, and when a religious panhandler approaches, they
whip out the clicker and "Click, click, click!" the pest away.
"In San Francisco, I saw two hundred people clicking away at a Krishna,"
Egan remarked. "They blew her right out of her socks."
He adds, "If God wants a dollar from me, he can ask for it. I'm not
against religion, but I'm fed up with organized beggars."
Relief is just a click away.
I knew a chap who became annoyed at a Krishna who followed him out of the
Indianapolis airport, verbally abusing him for not making a contribution.
Having surreptitiously "armed and primed" himself, our hero suddenly stopped,
whipped around, and pissed all over the startled harridan. After the few
necessary seconds of attack, he calmly replaced himself, zipped up, and walked
away. A bemused security cop nearby tried to hide his laughter.
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º ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ º
º ³ ANIMALS ³ º
º ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ º
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If your mark is an oily cuss with a credibility problem you should easily
pull off this stunt. It involves a cop, reporters, SPCA folks and some farm
animals. Call the police and tell them you know about a cock or dog fight
that's being held at your mark's home. Explain that you have no morals
against animal fighting but you lost big money there last time and think the
fights are fixed. Next call your mark and report to him that some people
are holding dog or cock fights on his property. Call the reporters and SPCA
and tell them all about the fight. Mention that your mark and the cops have
a payoff relationship. Give everyone the same general arrival time, never be
too specific. Hopefully, all will sort of show up at the same time. You might
manipulate things so the press and animal lovers show up first. Even if a
real story doesn't develop, you have scattered some strong seeds of distrust.
If you want a stronger story, find a dead dog on the road or something and
plant it near by and tell the reporters and SPCA where to find the evidence.
It will be fun to hear your mark and the cops talk about everything to the
reporters.
Dead animals are very useful. Wait until your mark goes on a trip and will
be leaving his car or house empty for several days. Get into the car
or house and stuff very large and very dead animals everywhere. Your mark will
probably have to sell his car and fumigate his house when he returns.
If you are bothered by big dogs chasing you just take a good quality
plastic water pistol and fill it with freshly squeezed lemon juice. Shoot
the furball right in the eyes and it'll soon stop the canine harassment.
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º ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿ º
º ³ APARTMENTS ³ º
º ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ º
ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ
Your mark lives in an apartment? A squirt or so of Eastman 910 or a
similar type glue into the lock can screw up the mark's trying to get back
into the apartment after an evening on the town. It's best to save this one
until late evening or on a weekend. Of course, this same stunt would work on
a house, but an apartment lockout disturbance causes more of a public scene.
If the mark's apartment is an older building with wooden door frames and
you can work quitly and quickly at night, you can lock him/her in the
apartment from the outside. Quietly fix a hasp and keeper on the door and
frame using wooden screws. Then slap a padlock on the new fixture. It
creates a great deal of frustration if that door is the only way out of the
apartment. Do it late Saturday night so the discovery is made on Sunday
morning when it's impossible to get help.
Run a classified ad offering to sublet the mark's apartment. You can
list either the mark's telephone number or that of his/her landlord. As
usual, make the contact hour for very early in the morning "because of
shift-work schedule."
You might want to make a "milk run" to the mark's apartment very early on
several mornings and place a whole bunch of empty booze bottles outside his or
her door. This works well in ritzy apartments where the neighbors are snobs.
How do you get by the security people? One way is to pose as a delivery
person, a service person, a building inspector, or someone on a work crew.
You can also hire an accomplice in the building, or you can bribe the door
guard.
Suppose you are the victim of a nasty landlord who evicts you for no good
reason. There are lots of legal ways to get your tenant's rights, but there
are also many quasi-legal and illegal ways that are much more fun. For
example, you could simply "sublet" the place, on your own, to a bunch of
dopers, bikers, drunks, hookers, runaways, or twenty-four-hour party throwers.
Make this extracuricular subletting your going-away surprise.
Another person I know went to the local animal shelter on several
different days and got a total of fifteen cats for twenty-five dollars. He
bought a bunch of cat food and a bushel basket of fish, and filled his bathtub
with water for them. He then nailed every window and door shut from the
inside before crawling out the tiny casement window in the basement. He had
previously nailed the basement door shut behind him. Obviously, he had moved
his things out several days previously. His eviction notice was effective the
next day, but the landlord didn't check on the house for five days. My God,
what a mistake that man made. To say that that cat house was an uninhabitable
mess is an understatement.
Tim Carroll was tossed out of his apartment by the landlady because one
of Tim's many lady friends stayed over for the whole entire evening. This
upset the old biddy who owened the building, and being a staunch, God-fearing
charter member of the DAR, she canceled his lease and ordered him to leave the
building.
Displeased with the abitrary and unilateral treatment and the upheaveal
caused by her dubious moral judgement, Tim didn't get angry; he got even. He
had a trusted friend place a large sign in a hallway window of the landlady's
apartment building. The seventh-floor window faced a busy business street,
and the sign was quite visible to many hundreds of people.
The sign read: TIM CARROLL SUCKS.
The landlady didn't see the sign, so two days later, Tim's friend
positioned another sign, this time in a sixth-floor-hall window.
The second sign read: TIM CARROLL IS A FAG.
The landlady saw both signs and removed them. Two days later, she got a
letter from Tim, with a picture enclosed showing her building with the signs
easily visible. The letter was Tim's complaint about personal slander and
harassment. He asked her please to desist.
Sometime early the next morning, in time for rush-hour morning traffic, a
new sign went up in the window: TIM CARROLL BLOWS DEAD BEARS.
At 8:30 A.M., the unsuspecting landlady recieved a call from an attorney
friend of Tim's, citing the original slander and warning the woman against
further incidents. Shaken, she swore her innocence. Ten minutes after
hanging up, he called back, sounding furious because Tim had just called him
about the latest sign. Flabbergasted, the old lady swore she would remove it
and loudly proclaim her innocence.
Another sign went up that afternoon in time for rush-hour the other way:
TIM CARROLL IS A FLAMING HETEROSEXUAL.
The landlady got the lawyer's call just after dark, when the sign was no
longer visible. She was almost in tears because of his threats to sue. She
begged to just talk to Tim, to tell him none of this was her doing. The
attorney told her that he had advised his client to have no further
discussions with her.
The next day's sign read: FOR A GOOD LAY, CALL TIM CARROLL.
That evening, a new sign went up. The landlady, frantic, according to
Tim's friend who was putting up the signs, got to it fifteen minutes after it
went up. The attorney called her five minutes after she go back to her own
apartment.
Tim related, "You might feel almost sorry for the old lady, except that
she had told me earlier that she was going to keep my security deposit and
that I would have to forfeit the month's rent I had paid in advance because I
had violated the morality clause in my lease. The was no such clause. I
found out she had done this same thing to two other guys a year before and
some guys before that. She also tossed out a couple because they weren't
married. She'd come into your room when you were gone and snoop, too. That
bugged me."
No signs went up for the next three days, although the woman checked the
windows every twenty minutes or so. On the fourth day, hundreds of passersby,
accustomed to the signs weren't disappointed.
The new sign read: TIM CARROLL'S WHOREHOUSE.
Although it took her an hour to discover and remove it, the lawyer friend
of Tim's didn't call until the next morning, when a new sign was in the
window: WHOREHOUSE UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT. The landlady's telephone number was
listed.
A second sign was placed on the sixth-floor window underneath: TIM
CARROLL COULDN'T BEAT THE COMPETITION.
In his best tones, the attorney explained that enough was enough and that
on behalf of his client, Mr. Carroll, he would be filing an action. The woman
was distraught. He told her to have her attorney present for a meeting at
three the following afternoon. He asked her who attorney was and said the
meeting should be in his office. Tim and his attorney postponed this meeting
several times, then told the woman that since she had stopped putting up the
signs, they would hold the suit in limbo for the time.
Reportedly, she monitored the halls and windows of that building
regularly for five months. But more importantly, she also left her tenants to
their own moral lives.
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