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Turtle Overlords of Cambodia 13
TOCFILE 13: the reality of spain makes me love you.
my grandma by oompa-69my grandma got me a bigazz truck for arbor day... good deal, right? well noshit but there's a catch ya see. ok its like this, the old bitch is makin me drive around town to pick up leaves and beer cans and shit. well she tells methis and i say fuck you, you old bitch. then she says she'll take my keys andshit so i go ok ok, i'll clean up your damn leaves. hehe, she was swingin on the porch swing drinkin old tyme lemonade too so when i left i slammed thescreen door really hard and BoOM! you shoulda fuckin' seen it, she spilledthe country tyme shit all over her dress that she probably bought at a garagesale in the civil war. well i just laughed and hopped in my truck and startedcrusin for chicks and shit... so i cruised around and there was this hot chickbut the truck bed was full of branches and shit but i was really horny and i had this condom that i got in the mail and everything. so anyway, i wuz likei need to find a place to dump this shit out of the truck, so i can fuck thischick in the back of the truck.. that would be sweet. heheh. well i drove upto the county hall or whatever the fuck its called and made a big pile of driedleaves and crushed cans and shit. but then this guy wearing a hard hat saw meand i was like fuck man, i better run, he's gonna bust my ass. so i peeledout and left a big black patch on the driveway. heehh . fuckin' a.so anyway, i go to that chick who was like sitting around in front of the coffeehouse and she was showin a bit of leg. i was like hey baby, get in mytruck, and we can fuck.. i figured she'd dig the rhyme cuz she looked likeone of those deep intellectual poetry chicks. she was a snobby bitch tho,cuz she flipped me the bird when i honked at her... so i was like FUCK YOUYOUR TWAT IS FULL OF FLIES, ANYWAYZ. i drove back to my grandma's pad, cuzi was thirsty and she probably had more of that country tyme lemonade shit..but i came back and shit... and there she was lying on that porch swing.she didn't move so i thought she wuz sleepin and i yell hey grandma, makeme some of that good shit. but she didn't say nothing, so i poked her andshe didn't do nuthin. so i got out her blood pressure kit and found out shewas fuckin dead, man! hehe, i was like rad! now i don't have to pick up thosefucking leaves and i can live in her place without haven't to clean the toiletsor doin those chores that she usually makes me do. so i started decorating herpad with those black lights with fuzzy pot leaf posters cuz chicks like thatshit.. and then i pumped up the bass, cuz i figured those chicks would cometo my pad, once they heard the loud bass, akin to how worms crawl out of theground after a morning's rain.. anyway, i sat on the porch, tryin to swatthe flies that kept flyin' around grandma.. and i was like what the fuck?where are all the hot babes? so i thought about it.. and then i rememberedthe faces of death movies.. i mean, everybody rents those movies, thereforechicks must dig dead people.. so i piled grandma in the back of my truckand cruised around town, cuz chicks will fuck you if you can produce acadaver.toc rules.
you are our slave.
