Tyrone 04 Article 02

eZine lover (@eZine)

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Tyrone

 · 4 years ago

  

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-What IS a bear??- 

Bears, bears.. where shall I begin?  What's that you say?  "what is a 
bear, you stinking freak?!"  A valid question at that, and where I shall 
begin my story.  No, a bear is NOT a furry brown forest animal.  No, a 
bear is NOT a liquid beverage.  A bear by my defnition, and that of the 
land's, is a person of Hispanic heritage.  "You racist shithead!  DIE!" is 
that what I'm hearing?  HA!  I shall list the examples of why Hispanics, 
or mexicans, are called BEARS. 
- Their skin is brown. 
- They stink. 
- They live in bushes. 
- They can't speak English. (what real bear could??) 
- No other reason, other than it sounds cool, and the mexicans 
  have NO idea what the hell you're talking about. 
"This guy has a point!  How/Where do I begin?"  EASY!  Just go to 
any public gathering, look for mexicans (we will no longer refer to them 
as mexicans, but as bears or osos) 
SIDENOTE - oso = bear (en espanol) 
Now, where was I?  Oh yes, where to begin.  As I began earlier, go 
to a public gathering, and look for bears, when you spot one yell "MIRA 
OSO!! JAJAJA!" very loudly.  The bears will turn and look, because of 
course they understand their heritage, bear language.  We just said "HAHA! 
Look at the bears!"  The bears however are sitting there saying 
"shit holmes, what are those white boys talking about?  bears?  i 
don't see no stinkin bears!"  HAHA! Little do they know!!  Now that you 
are educated in the art of bear spotting, and harassing, you must now 
learn how to properly say the word "bear."  Sure, you're sitting there 
saying "How stupid does this guy think I am?  I can read, it reads 
'bear'."  When in actuality, it does not.  The pronunciation is KEY!  Like 
in espanol, you must roll the r's, and this also proves true in saying 
'bear.'  If you saw a furry bear in Yosemite, you would say "oh look, a 
bear," but if you saw a REAL bear (as in a mexican) you would say 
"beeearrr," somewhat like beer, but rolling the R.  It takes practice, and 
that is where most of the fun is.  I sometimes find myself at home, saying 
'beeearrr' over and over again, because it is just so fun!  Well, you now 
know what a bear is, and when/where to use it, I expect this word to be 
spoken in every high school, on every college campus, to EVER bear in the 
world!  Don't let me down! 

     o'/"\                   "Mira oso! JAJA!" /"\ 
    ` `|`  o' <-- flies                       `|'  <--- YOU! 
"|"" `                               ""|" 
/`\ <-- bear.                           /`\ 
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" 
Over and Out, 
skatter 

SAUCE0019971031x
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