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jonas issue 4
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˘ jonas emag numero cuatro ˘
˘ elite hidden greet to eerie ˘
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press return please
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/ , _|_ ___ ______ _ ____
.../ /' | | | |__ |______| | |
..''' \ ,,' , | | . |______) : |
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/ | : :
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/,. . / -+ j o n a s # 4 +-
,.'. .' _________ / _
/ . .' ___ \ \ oO\_____,,'' \ 1 - welcome to jonas, biznatch
..' /OOo\ \ \ o. | 2 - edicius' editorial
.' /OOOOo\ \ '''' | 3 - members listing
/. |oOOOOOo\ ..../ / 4 - defense of the lit scene
/'/. \oOOOOOo\ / (terminal velocity)
/ '/. __ \ __ __ / 5 - i'm a dork (edicius)
'/. _____/ \_______/ 6 - generation x? (edicius)
/ \ 7 - survey time
( _____ \ 8 - intervu w/ terminal v.
\__/ \ 9 - end of jonas
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y
o
u
r selection
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˘ : |. |. | |. |. |
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. .. edicius' editorial .. .
(btw, thanks to cidica of teklordz for the great font)
here it is. numero cuatro (or is it cuarto? fuck it, i have a d in
spanish) is out. wow. 4 issues in 2 weeks? pretty impressive? no?
shit, i need a life, bad. ah well, if i wasn't coding jonas the last 2
weeks i most likely would be jerking off and begging for ops on
#gayteen. (damnit, i hate it when rattle hogs the ops on #gayteen)
anyway. this is basicly a thank you editorial. i really have no topic
for this editorial, i just want to thank everyone for their comments on
jonas.
i've been told by alot of people (ok, sue me, 5 or 6) that jonas ranks
up with emigre and undergrown. amazing, something i did out of boredom
is getting alot of acclaim. people love the idea of an ascii/ansiless
mag. clutterless. and it seems that i will have spawns off of
this. i was already told by euphoria of emerge that he wanted to code
something directly simular to this, then saw my first issue. people
like me, they really do!
i was amazed too at the fact that i went on irc last night (this is the
ninth btw, like 6 hours after i released numero tres, this issue
shouldn't be out till around easter). anyway, on irc last night, i had
mentioned that i was releasing later that night. people came to me
later on asking me when it would be out. they actually wanted my mag.
heh. it was cool when i saw sexman on #ansi do a /setaway reading
jonas, and then come back 2 minutes later and go, 'yes! my bot and i
were mentioned in jonas!'. (two seconds later i christened kndbot as
the official bot of jonas, and gave his boad (final descent) a
distribution site.)
people may say my mag rates with undergrown/emigre, but i dont know if
that is true. i wouldn't mind that, but its not something i strive for.
if you like my mag or not, i will continue releasing issues of it, no
matter what. i dont see myself as a 'threat' or a 'competitor' or
ug/emi, but i do see myself as a semi-serious-major mag one day. we'll
see when that comes.
people like my mag, i must thank you all. it was an idea i did out of
boredom, and the fact that i have no life. and people like it. (then
again, if they liked it so fucking much, i would be getting logos and
articles, fuckups. :>). thank you to all of you who have supported me
over the last, few days, all of you who continue to support me, and all
of you who say my mag is lame. it tells me i achieved my goal of
creating the lamest mag ever written in 5 hours. thank you.
- edicius [jonas phounder]
. .. welcome to jonas, biznatch .. .
well. here's another issue of jonas. currently, its about ten or five
to eight, on the 13th of april. (el 13 del abril). i'm writing the
welcome file, but we'll see when it actually comes out. news this
issue:
new sitez!#$#@!@$!
- the land of rape and honey (609-something, forgive me nick, i cant
remember your number. i should get an ansi of yours, but fuck it, i'm
tired, your sick. forgive me. :)). the new united states head
quarters.
- the final descent. (516-437-6858, i think? right sexman). distro
site.
- full metal jacket (203-531-7626, sysop akira). lal. distro
new bot!@#@!$@#$@#$!@#$#@
- from this day, i hereby christen kndbot as the official bot of jonas,
and the ultimate, in cool bots. (well, that bot on #bestality is
cooler)
greet to spiff@!$@#$@#
- i love you, thats all i can say.
coding stuff@#!$#!%@
- i redid some of the ko0ding. thanks to black francis. for the
idea. now, when reading an article, instead of a pause, there will be
a (continue yes/no?) prompt. enjoy! :)
new members!#@$#$#@%@#%#@%
- terminal velocity [cia/saz] did an article for us! woohoo!
finally
- people ask me, 'when is jonas gonna be released?'. well, its
normmaly when i am bored. and as it seems that is on weekends.
expect a new issue of jonas on weekends.
something else
- helen hunt is my godess, she is soo fucing hot.
the end.
___ ___ _____ ___ ___ ___ _____ _____ _____
| | | _| | | |_ _| . | __|
| | _| | _ | _| -|__ |
|_|---|_|_____|_|---|_|_____|___|__|__|_____|
founder, writer, and all around peachey k-keen type guy
-!# edicius #!-
official bitch
-!# flood #!-
true members who have contributed an artcle or artwork
-!# terminal velocity #!-
-!# grey hawk #!-
-!# cidica #!-
______ _____ ______ _______ ______
| __|_____| | __| __|
|__ | |- -| __|__ |
|______|_____|______|_______|______|
- head quarters -
world head quarters
-!# aneurysm ˘ 1.9O8.27O.8i98 #!-
place to go when in need of a good rape and honey,
also russian head quarters
-!# the land of rape and honey ˘ 1.6O9.EYE.DONO #!-
great gay/lesbian phile/message areas
-!# shattered thoughts ˘ 1.9O8.446.iO94 #!-
- distro sites -
big 'd' - dallas and distribution
-!# hooked on phonix ˘ 1.2i4.T00.L33T #!-
board that really sucks because of a lame sysop
-!# final descent ˘ 1.5i6.437.6858 #!-
board thats 150 feet away from new york
-!# full metal jacket ˘ 1.2O3.53i.7626 #!-
- member boards -
board with a really bad renegade setup that needs affils
bad enough to become a jonas member board
-!# the north star ˘ 1.9O8.264.5O42 #!-
board that should have been up 3 months ago and already
has fifteen affils including jonas member board
-!# brand echh ˘ 1.9O8.N07.Y371 #!-
Defense of the Lit Scene
by Terminal Velocity
I heard a quote, but I can not remeber who said something to the
effect of 'The only reason people do lit is so they can get in to a decent
art group without having to do any work.' I have to say I wholeheartedly
disagree. Many people lump the Lit Scene in to the art scene, and perhaps
it's justified, but I don't agree. I think that lits are just as good as
art, and often can take a good deal of work. I'm not bashing art mind you,
I have a good deal of respect for the artists out there whose work is
just incredible(Chromatik, Diehard) and makes the bbses out there look a hell
of a lot better for it. I do however have a problem when people knock the lit
scene. I found most of the people who knock the lit scene are cultural
neanderthals and couldn't tell a good piece of poetry from their asshole if
someone draw a sign to point it out. There is nothing wrong with lit, it is
just as good a form of expression as music is, or art. With out lit, there
would be no songs, because the lyrics are poetry! I have been in the lit scene
for about a year now, and it's pretty sickening to hear the way people bash on
lit writers. It's not true that it's the only way they can get in to a group,
just look at Angst, or SAZ or any other group out there. It's clear there must
be some worth to lit if people download the stuff. Otherwise would SAZ(Souls
At Zero) be up to their 10th pack? Or Angst? I seriously doubt it. Things do
not last long if there is no demand for it. Simply put, you may have your
opinions on lit, and it's value all you want, but give it a shot before you
knock the whole scene. Don't blame the quality of an artistic medium just
because some of the people who write lits are a little under 10.
. .. i'm a dork, by edicius .. .
howdy. i was going to write an article telling how much of a dork i am,
and for the most part, most of the people in 'the scene' are. then, i
saw a message on goat blowers anonymous which was a copy of hoe number
66, written by dash. it has to be one of my favorite current text
files. i was talking with mogel tonight and he said i could use
excerpts from the file as long as i give credit to hoe and dash. so,
credit to the following excerpts are given to hoe (hogs of entropy) and
dash.
--- [ excerpt 1 ] ----
[03:47PM] [rush_2:JDOE@all.ptd.net] your all little faggot lamers aren't you
god you are so fucking mature... and I thought the computer world
was filled with people above the lameness wiggers niggers spics of
the normal world... your all losers
You couldn't hit the nail more square on the head. We're all losers.
Let's face it. Some of us spend more then an hour a day sitting in front of
their computer, doing things, that really, are not productive. You may say
it's a hobby, and I guess it is, but sitting in front of your computer is
about as healthy as watching TV is. And then there are those who take it way
too seriously. Is forwarding someone's calls to some foreign country because
you have a personal grudge against them normal? Would anyone even consider
it cool or funny? Well, it's not. It's immature, it stupid, and you're even
lamer when you get caught.
--- [ my thoughts ] ----
yes. we all are losers. we spend hours upon hours on the computer, and
most of us wont admit it. i admit it. I'M A FUCKING LOSER, A DORK, A
GEEK. there. you should all do that, it helps.
we are losers, i am a loser, but here's the thing. i feel much better
sitting on the computer talking with people across the globe, then going
out and getting plastered. my friends may call me a geek, but while
they're going out and getting plastered, i'm having intellectual debates
with amazing people. some of the coolest and most interesting people
i've met are those on the computer. mainly because we share all of the
same interests.
--- [ excerpt 2 ] ----
[04:33PM] [Mopus:Ifgi327@facsmf.utexas.edu] you see ive developed this
unhealthy attachment to my computer.
Go outside! Go do homework! Do something besides staring glassy-eyed at a
computer screen and giving yourself carpal-tunnel syndrome from typing.
People who make fun of you because you like computers has every right to.
Why do I say that? Because they go out on the weekends. And my money says
that most of you don't. I feel sorry for you.
my money also says that half of the people that actually do go out on
weekends (non computer people) can't remember half of it, and/or lie
about what they did. (yeah man, i got laid last weekend. yeah, i spent
all of friday night in her car/house/basement/pants/etc. please.)
i remember what i did. i dont lie about what i did, because i'm not
ashamed of it. i dont care what people think of me, they may look at me
and say i'm a dork for doing what i do, but here's the thing. i dont
care. you have fun your way, i'll have fun my way. simple, eh?
--
what i'm trying to say really, is that i'm a dork, i'll admit it. but i
dont care. i do this because i love it. i wont do this forever, god
help me, but i will be on here for a good 3 more years or so (law of
averages, most people leave the scene when they are around 17-18 or so,
many stay around longer then that.) i figure, i'll stay around in the
scene, pretty actively, for a good 3 more years. go into college,
reduce my amount of participation a bit, and then after college quit it
all together. hey, there, i just did something productive. i just put
part of my life plan into a few simple words. k-rad k-ko0l!
i see people on irc call each other 'niggers' and it disgusts me. i
doubt that half of them are actually black people, and those who are,
should be offended at it. its kinda gay, you know? it takes away just
about everything that the civil rights movement of the 60's worked for.
hey, i mean, i have no problem with black people calling each other
'niggers', but white people shouldn't be calling each other/other black
people 'niggers'. we refer back to the civil rights on that one.
as much racism i may see on the computers, i see more of it in school.
i have gotten to a point where i dont look for looks in a person. i see
a person for what they are inside, what they think, what they feel. the
computer has helped me with this. meaning, i have no way to see what a
person looks like (untill the day we all have fiber optick lines in our
homes and we get instant video feed.) untill then, i have to form my
opinion of people on what they say and think. i still dont know what
99% of the people on boards look like, but i know what 100% of them
think.
this is what i do, this is what i love. call me a dork, i really dont
care. i have had enough insults thrown in my face in real life, that i
dont care what anyone thinks about me. like me for what i am, or fuck
off.
thanks to hoe, dash, and mogel for permission to use their file. the
excerpt that i used is only a very small part of it. i would suggest
that you get the entire file, named hoe-066.txt.
--- [ addenium ] ----
wow. it looks like i will have to cut back on being such a geek. i
think (90 per cent sure) i got a job. it's a job hauking papers for a
local newspaper (the asbury park press) on the highway (anywhere busy,
highway, bridges). like 8-11 on weekend mornings, but i make 25-30
bucks for the 3 hours plus commision. woohoo. plus, i get a asbury
park press hat, tshirt, and apron (for money and stuff). yes! woohoo! i
love it :). just waiting for the district manager to call me tommorow.
wish me luck! :).
. .. generation x?, by edicius .. .
what is this shit, generation x? this has bothered me for a long time
now. who was the bright guy that thought up to k-keen name, generation
x? how the hell can they lump us all together, and say, you're all the
same, generation-x.
who is generation x? well. from my understanding, i think its like
anyone 15-25. or something like that. forgive me, its something like
that.
generation x is the coin they use to lump us all into one pot. they say
we're all the same, but who are they to judge? how do they know that we
are all the same? how the hell do they even know all of us? its funny.
everyone says they want to be different, yet we're all alike. we all
listen to our trendy music, with our nifty new clothes sitting on our
asses doing absolutley nothing. thats what we are, right? no no, we're
more then that. sure, we all want to be different, but we're all alike.
no one is the true rebel, no one has the balls to actually go out and do
something amazing, only a few do, and those are the ones that get
scoffed at.
different is something we cannot achieve. one may go out, get a nine
inch nails cd, and then say they are indostreel. one can go out and get
a nirvana cd and say they are alternitive. one can go out and get a
ween cd and say they are only into underground muzac. its fucked.
everything has a term now; alternitive, underground, etc. alot of terms
(alternitive mainly) are overabused. but thats an article for jonas 5.
anyway. one can go out, get any cd they want, say they've been
listening to them since the band got together, and call themselves
different. its very very sad.
we're all lazy, or so they say. we're lazy because people want us to be
lazy. they dont stimulate us. i know, alot are really lazy, but the
majority of the people i know from the computer aren't lazy. we all
want the same thing, success. but we cant get that in real life,
because for the most part we are all teenagers, and people dont want to
listen to teenagers, because teenagers dont know anything.
we cant achieve success in real life, for the most part, but we can
achieve it here, on the computer. thats because we are stimulated,
we've found something we like! thats what it is all about, doing
something we like. not doing something people make us do, like school
or something.
and work. i, for one, want to work. if i had a job, i would love it.
i've been looking through the classifieds forever, but no one hires 15
year olds. not even at the deli around the corner from me. they dont
even hire kids to ride around on their bikes delivering papers anymore!
thank god they hire kids to stand on the highway, hauking papers, or
else, i wouldn't have a job. (this is presuming the district manager
for the local paper calls me back today, and tells me i'm hired.)
ah. i have no clue why i wrote this. i really dont. i guess i'll stop
this now.
. .. its survey time!! .. .
woohoo. we're gonna take a survey! we're gonna take a survey!
i was thinking. i needed something good to do with jonas. something
new. so, here. i'm gonna do a survey in each issue. just answer the
text file inclosed in the archive, survey.4, and email it to
'edi@raven.cybercom.com', or dcc it to 'edi' on irc (check #ansi, #cia,
and #jonas). results for this will be printed in an upcoming jonas
issue.
the topic of this survey is based on edicius' article entitled, i'm a
dork. enjoy, and i want replies!
. .. interview with terminal velocity <cia/saz> .. .
. .. by edicius .. .
well, this interview was supposed to be with jeeves, but my irc.log file
got corrupt on my internet provider, and i lost the interview. sorry
jeeves. i'll redo the interview sometime this week. happy belated
birthday too! :)
tv: okay
ed: wow, was that the last callers thing mp wrote?
tv: yeah
ed: looks nice. okie, lets start. hm, first, just your name, age, where ya
from, and your affils.
tv: Brian, 16, born on Earth and Souls At Zero + CiA
ed: okie, now, how'd you get into the scene to begin with?
tv: Well i started out with warez, but never did anything. Then I
decided I wanted an affil, but the only thing I could do was lit so
I sent in a lit to Broken and got in.
ed: sounds cool. hm, whats happened since then? what groups have you been in,
etc?
tv: Well... I was a member of Sharp for one pack, and WaL(never found
out what happened to it) and Angst. Then I joined SAZ and recently I
left Emerge as lit coordinator for CiA lit dept. I also submit to
angst now and then.
ed: are there any hard feelings between emerge and yourself, now that you left?
tv: Not really... I think the master made it a point to show me there were no
hard feelings and that he accepted my desicion(sp) with good grace.
ed: hm, thats good. one should never leave a group on hard terms,
always the pits afterwords. heh. hm, what do you think of the
current scene, with the influx of new groups and such?
tv: Most people say it's lame, and I have to agree to a point, but a lot
of good artists have gotten a start in some lame groups and moved on
to better thinsg long after the group died.
ed: true. very true. hm, what do you think about the peoplethat say lit is not
an artform, and doesn't belong in ansi packs?
tv: I think they are wrong. Lit is more than just an artform, it's an
expression of soul. One might say they are the same thing, but I
have to disagree. One can not express much soul with a picture(ansi)
of wolverine.
ed: heh. hm, do you do any form of art, outside of the computer scene?
(pencils, scuplting, etc)
tv: I also submit pieces of writing outside of computer scene. I like to
doodle(art :)), but I am not much for visual presentations of art.
My limit is stick figures, and they aren't very good ones.
ed: c'mon, EVERYBODY can draw a good stick figure. :). heh. hm, do you
think you are at your hieght, so to say, of lit writing? do you
think you seriously can improve much more?
tv: I think I can improve much more... can we hold for a second and let
me call you back? A friend needs me to call him, it's an emergency
ed: surely. call me when you are done.
<continuation of interview done voice, 10 minutes later>
ed: hm, where were we? oh ok. where do you see yourself in 10 years?
tv: emperor of the universe. hm, seriously? a cool job. i'm not
really sure. maybe putting together computer hardware or software,
or even teaching english. i'm not sure.
ed: have you ever thought about quitting the scene, and what would drive
you to it?
tv: fone bills. more then a few. is it (the scene) lame? no, not for
me. i look at all the other things that i could be doing, and see
how pointless they are too. at least i'm having fun with what i'm
doing.
ed: tell us about your board alittle bit. (shattered thoughts)
tv: well, its been up for four months. suffered alittle bit of a
hardware crash, to say it mildly. it came up with more files now.
no nets, i lost all my netlinks and i dont have the time to setup
front door, but i will do that soon.
ed: what do you think about the whole tension between emerge and cia?
tv: i think it is all overblown. whats done is done. what happened
happened, and it just sped up the obvious. everyone knew it was
gonna happen sooner or later. the merger just sped it up.
ed: any final comments or anything before we end this?
tv: yep. first, i would just like to say that everyone should stop
dissing you. you did what you had to do, and thats that. second, i
would just like to say that you had no influence in me leaving
emerge. i was gonna leave anyway, you just influenced me to join cia
over any other groups.
ed: thanks, thanks for the interview man, good luck with everything!
. .. byebye and farewell from jonas numero cuatro .. .
well, here's to the end of another issue of jonas. keep reading it, and
send me your comments, AND fill out the survey forms! :). hehe.
jonas words to remember:
hey yo kids, whatsup?
remember when i used to be dope? yeah.
i owned a pocket full of fame.
but looked what you're doing now.
i know. i know.
- teenage fanclub & de la soul, fallin'
judgement night soundtrack
woohoo. i just asked a girl out to the fresh/soph formal in 2
weeks. wish me luck that she says yes! :)
